Sarabellum: Introduction from someone who is SSRI free but struggling

[Petunia]

Hi Sara,

kygirl is right, Wellbutrin is known for increasing anxiety, if you were going to try reinstatement, something less activating would have been better and at a very small dose.  I'm sorry you are going through this.  My first impulse is to say reduce the dose to 50mg for a few days and then stop, but I'm not sure.  I will try and get the advice of someone more experienced. Hang in there.

 

Petu.

[Sarabellum]

Thank you kygirl and Petu. I am hoping I can see someone today about this. I'm cutting the dosage to 50 because this is just unbearable.

[Fitby50]

Hey Sara, you should not feel bad that you are trying to give yourself some relief from this horrible pain. We all have to do what we need too!  Did they start you on a low dose to start with and gradually increase?  Maybe the dose is too high for your already sensitive nervous system or they should try something different.  When I reinstated using Prozac last year, I always thought that my anxiety got really bad when I first started it.  She started me at 10mg and was suppose to increase to 20mg, but I only did for about 7 days and dropped back to 10mg because the anxiety was unbearable.  Talk to your doc, let them know how bad the anxiety is.  Your doing this to feel better not make you feel worse.  Did you start the IOP program? 

[Altostrata]

Yes, Wellbutrin can be very activating, particularly if your system is already sensitized by withdrawal.

 

Cutting down to 50mg, then 25mg in 4 days or so, then going off probably will give you some relief.

 

Sara, think about this: Be careful about being dramatic about your troubles in front of authorities. If they think you are out of control, they will do their best to "help" you, usually by piling on the drugs. Don't be a drama queen in the ER unless that is what you want.

 

These medical options do not solve your life stresses, only you can do that. Those bad feelings are nature's way of telling you you need to make a change.

[Sarabellum]

I wasn't a drama queen in the ER. I have been struggling with anxiety for some time and with all I have going on, the issue with the boyfriend was the straw that broke the camel's back. 

 

I wasn't hysterical. I was crying inconsolably. They didn't see me as a harm to myself or anyone. They saw me as deeply depressed and anxious.

 

I don't WANT to be on medication. I'm working on my personal issues. But I will tell you that day in and day out of feeling like it's my last day on earth, with no reprieve, is awful. I've felt this way when times are great and times when they are not. It doesn't matter. I need my wits. I need to be able to function. 

My house will be auctioned off on the 29th of July. I have until August 29th to vacate. I don't know where to go because though I can afford a place to rent on my current salary, all of that will change when I go into nursing school and drop down to part-time work. I don't want to sign a lease on a place I can't afford down the road.

School is still up the air because 1) I need to find supplemental income 2) I need to find a suitable job. I only have until August 15th before school starts. I have a LOT on my plate and I'm managing the best that I can but my future is on the line and I've no safety net. I have 2 kids in college and no family here. 

 

I am doing the best I can. 

[Petunia]

Hi Sara,

You have got so much going on in your life, it sounds overwhelming, I'm sure you're doing the best you can.  Over the last several years I've had to deal with similar issues to what you are going through, but not all at the same time.  I wish I could be more help, the only thing which came to mind was that perhaps you could get a room mate to share costs when you move.

 

Sending hugs

Petu.

[Sarabellum]

Thanks Petu.

 

Actually I have a classmate who has offered to let me rent out her spare bedroom and I'm looking at this closely. It's not my fist choice because I don't know what I'm going to do with a houseful of stuff and my cats but it may be the best option.

 

Finding the money to supplement my living expenses is what's hard. My parents have offered to help me for the first year but I don't know what I can do about the second. I'm very overwhelmed.

[mammaP]

I would get through the first year Sara, you could be much better by year 2 and

able to get by. Cross that bridge when you get to it. I was just like you when

I was moving and worried about things that were in the future. It is all part of

what we are going through with withdrawal. You can do this, you have the opportunity

To do what you want to do, and will regret it if you don't try.

[Sarabellum]

Thanks mammaP.

 

Right now, I'm trying to find a part-time job that will work with my school schedule. So far I'm coming up with nothing and I only have about 2.5 weeks to do this or I'll have to wait and start school next semester.

 

All of this and issues with the boyfriend are why I'm in an intensive outpatient program right now. I'm trying hard but it's daunting.

[Sarabellum]

I've decided to put off school until the spring semester. Though the Wellbutrin is wearing off, I'm still rather anxious. I don't want to start school feeling like this and though it may be gone in a month, I'm not taking any chances. Moreover, I have to pack and move within 6 weeks. 

 

I've never been an 'anxious' person but I have had anxious moments. The drug pushed me over the edge. I'm so happy it's starting to wear off. I was in a constant state of fear and panic. I was scared to be alone and would break down and cry frequently. Thoughts of dying or people I love dying were constantly swirling in my head. I couldn't get the thoughts to shut off. I couldn't eat. I dropped 20 lbs in 3 weeks. It's been awful. 

 

Starting to feel more like myself after 4 days of being off of it. Hopefully I'm on the right track now.

[Petunia]

I'm happy to hear you have made this decision to take care of yourself by postponing school until you are more stable.  I'm also glad you are feeling better now that the Wellbutrin is wearing off.  I hope your other issues resolve themselves soon.

[Sarabellum]

Thank you Petu. I am feeling better more everyday. 

 

I have learned a great deal through all of this.

[Addax]

Ditto what Petu wrote. It sounds like a well thought out decision and that you're transitioning to a food place.

[Sarabellum]

Thanks Addax. I'm getting there. It's been quite a ride.

[Fitby50]

Hey Sara, how are you doing?  Were you able to get moved ok?  Thinking of you.

[JanCarol]

Hey Sara, I'm so glad you delayed school.  It was just too much, all at once.  I hope your IOP has helped you without trying to drug you up. 

 

I'm terrified of doing anything "in the system" because I'm worried the "only solution" is "drugs."  When all you have is a hammer . . . 

 

And I'm beginning to feel like CBT is a bit of a hammer, too.  At least in Australia, I don't like the way it's taught.  I feel like a kid in grade school being told to sit up straight with my feet on the floor, and present my nails for inspection....

 

I hope you have time, or maybe space to put your feet on the earth.  I was talking to my cousin (he reads a lot of Mercola, but is a scientist - a medical technician) and he talked about bare feet on the earth stabilizing your electrical field, using the earth to ground excess nervous energy.  I remember lying with my whole body on the ground sometimes.

 

And please remember Niacin for a calmative.  I hope to hear from you soon, and hope you are looking through big sky windows instead of drowning in waves . . .