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Sweetcreature ( new and scared) sorry this is long

Sweetcreature

By Sweetcreature
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mammaP Newbie

mammaP

Posted
  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted

Switching would be very risky and add yet more stress to your poor brain.  It would probably be best

to stick where you are for a few weeks and let your system  settle a little.  Feeling side effects can be awful but

you've found out the hard way that withdrawal can be much much worse. You will have bad days and better days

but this is the price we all pay for being on these drugs. It isn't our fault but we are paying the price anyway. 

 

I feel terrible today, I am in pain, exhausted and want to cry, if I hadn't learned so much here I would be calling 

the doctor and getting something to make me feel sleep. That would knock me back months or even years so 

I am just riding it. We all have to ride it too in order to get better. 

 

It is your choice, all we can do is give you what we have learned for ourselves. If you wish to switch to another drug

that is entirely up to you but my guess is that you will make things worse not better. 

 

We are all in this together, there isn't a single one of us here who hasn't been where you are now, we know how

you feel and feel for you, all of us. If you want to rush this, and I understand why you would want to do that, then that

is up to you, but I fear that you will make things worse if you do. It will get better, it IS better, if only slightly, and 

one day you will look back and be glad that you went slowly.

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

Posted
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Posted

Sweetcreature, let's see how you do at 16.4mg. It will take at least 4 days for your system to fully register the dosage change, then you'll want to stabilize for a while.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

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Posted

Thank you both very much.

 

I have in fact been at 16.4 for four days already, but plan to stay on that amount and monitor on a daily basis.  Especially after taking the meds as the side effects/symtoms intensify after wards.

 

Appreciate your words Alto and MP very much

 

SC

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Yesterday (day 5 of being at 16.4) was pretty good.

 

Today (day 6) has not been. Inner vibrations - chest and arms.

 

I am considering dropping one mg tomorrow.  Will check in.

 

thank you so much

 

Sweetcreature

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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mattinsmom Newbie

mattinsmom

Posted
Posted

Hold tight, don't drop. I know I have not been the best example of waiting for the symptoms to pass but I'm learning that waiting is what needs to happen. I think you should consider holding until you have a couple of good days in a row. 

Current:

Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks Amy,

 

Maybe I am getting it all wrong but I just sense that I am on waaay too high a dose to stabilise.  I'm really not trying to be a pain on the forum or to mark myself out as different, but the more I review my symptoms and the PAST ie - my reasons for reinstating - I am of the view that I am not in Protracted Withdrawal per se - but in a kind of 'long drawn scenario' of trying to get used to the drugs at much to high a dose....

 

You see, I didn't reinstate to alleviate symptoms, I went back on cos I thought I was 'depressed' and basically, looking back I reckon I had bad PMT (covered up for years with the medication)

 

I also had a lot of circumstantial problems such as a house move and debt....

 

I have been waaaay worse on these for the last two months than I ever was in my few months off them.

 

the inner vibrations in my upper body only started with the commencing of the meds...(grrrrrr)

 

I dunno...thanks for your thoughts..how are you?

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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mattinsmom Newbie

mattinsmom

Posted
Posted

I wish it were easy to figure out how to know the "right" thing to do. I'm at a spot where I am going to be sitting for awhile unless I end up medically needing to taper (ie, lamictal rash or something like that). I hope that you are able to find what works for you. 

 

I'm doing ok, had a pretty good day actually. I had my momentary breakdown but even that was good. I've needed to cry it out for a few days and haven't found the space/privacy to let it rip. Tonight I was in my car so I could let go. Things are settling, emotions are raw but that is mostly circumstance. Tomorrow, if all goes well, I will have the house to myself for a couple of hours. It will be a 1st time in 3-weeks. We've had the holiday breaks and winter/snow/ice school cancellations. Love my family but ready to have just me, my dog, and quiet.

 

I do hope that things settle for you. I know you are really struggling. 

Current:

Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Oh Thanks Amy,

 

I too am crying like never before but many times it is okay - helpful to let the tears flow in fact.  other times, I am crying out of fear that i will be like this 'forever' and you probably know the way THAT story goes...

 

Yes, a bit of normality after the Christmas break is needed and you are lucky to have your dog.  How is your appetite now?

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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bubble Rookie

bubble

Posted
  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted

Dear SC,

 

I really hope you get better soon.

 

What I keep reading here is stability, don't change dosages, especially if you have symptoms... Patience is all we need so badly...

 

What helped me was to focus on other ways to relieve my symptoms without focusing on meds, let them sink to the background. I understand it's awfully hard in oyur situation when the meds might be actually causing some of the symptoms...

 

But the key thing as I understand it to change your frame of mind from I will drop on 5 th of Jan (or 7th of Feb) to I will drop WHEN I FEEL BETTER FOR SOME TIME. Every 4 days seems much too fast. I read it takes 4 days for the change in dosage to register...But maybe you are still looking for a dosage at which your symptoms are bearable...

 

What I also noticed is that you were thinking of introducing vitamin B (multi). The advice here is that it's better to stay off all vitamin Bs especially in multi combinations since they are too activating.

 

wishing you lots of patience and sending positive energy.

 

bubble

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

Posted
  • Administrator
Posted

Sweetcreature, since you're seeing some improvement, I would give it another week before decreasing again.

 

You will continue to experience waves of symptoms on the way to stabilization.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

'But maybe you are still looking for a dosage at which your symptoms are bearable...'

 

Yes Bubble that is why I was considering going as 'fast yet hoopefully safe' as possible. In my mind it was not about commencing the 'real' taper you see....in any case, I held and will continue to hold I think for at least another week..I do feel that I am seeing some improvement so taking all of your advice I am staying out for now.

 

'Sweetcreature, since you're seeing some improvement, I would give it another week before decreasing again...'

 

Yes Alto, I tend to agree and think I will stick to that advice.  yesterday I had a conversation with a volunteer at a charity in Liverpool, England - (CITA) they offer advice and a listening ear to people in our situations.  The man was very helpful and has suggested yet another way of tapering..I need to get my head around it before I post it and first need to decide if it would work better for me.  It IS slow so they are not advocating anything stupidly thought out...he also echoed the words stability and such, and he too suggested at least another seven days on the dose of 16.4...

 

I will post more about the 'style' of tapering when I understand it better.  No rush.

 

Yesterday was an improved day side effect wise...

 

I also have a chat scheduled in with my nutritionist in London later so will report back on that - I had emailed her last week to say that I was sufferring with the inner vibrations and knew it was the meds....so we are hopefully speaking later

 

I had blood tests done in December (recommended by her) and we still waiting on them...

 

Thank you all again so very much...I do wish I could offer more to you guys at this time aside from warmest wishes...:-(

 

Sweetcreature x

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Hi All,

 

I have been at 16.4 for 10 days.  Staying here for now.  Tuesday, Wed and Thurs were not bad days.  Thursday night I had a bath with two tablespoons of epsom salts...Not long afterwards the 'inner arm vibrations' started again.  They are still here now, about 24 hours later. That is the only thing I have done differently.  I am off all Supplements at present.

 

have I overdosed on the epsom salts and taken in more magnesium than I need and caused this?

 

or, is it more likely just a wave in the whole process?

 

needless to stay I will not risk another epsom salt bath for a while...

 

Thanks all...wishing you well and calmness

SC x

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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mattinsmom Newbie

mattinsmom

Posted
Posted

Hi

I'd be surprised if it was the bath, but I'm not familiar with all the workings of those things. I do milk baths. My guess is that this is part of the window/wave of healing.

Hope that things settle down for you. 

Current:

Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Hey Mattini,

 

Thanks, yes I think it prolly wasn't the bath either...just very saddened and disappointed...hope you're ok

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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  • Moderator Emeritus
mammaP Newbie

mammaP

Posted
  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted

I doubt very much it was the bath SC, I use heaps more than that and I'm sure I read that Gia uses 5 cups

in her bath. I have a tub which had epsom salts in, it cost me about £4. Then I bought 10 kilo of epsom salts

and keep it in a big tin in the bathroom. I use the tub to scoop it out and use a full tub, 200g!  I love the epsom

salts bath.  :wub:

I'm glad you had some reasonable days and hope there are many more to come. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thank you MammaP, yes I rather hope it was not connected to the bath and doubt it was now after hearing back from a few of you. Will continue to monitor.... Sigh... It's all I can do for now. How are you?

 

Wishing you all a good day

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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  • Moderator Emeritus
mammaP Newbie

mammaP

Posted
  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted

I hope you start to feel better very soon, this will pass, we have to keep reminding ourselves 

of it.  I know every wave that picks me up and carries me away I think that's it, I'm never going to be 

better, but it always passes. 

 

I'm feeling much better now thank you, I've had some sleep and it makes such a huge difference.

Just hope that wave is over and it's a while before the next one, a bit of breathing space. I really

felt I couldn't cope much longer, then read my own posts and imagined I was reading someone

elses, what would I say to THEM. I said to hang on in there, it will pass, and it did.  Yours will too. 

xx

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thank you MammaP

 

X

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Reduced from 16.4 mg to 15 yesterday. Too early to tell yet but will monitor

 

War wishes to all

 

SC

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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  • Moderator Emeritus
Petunia Newbie

Petunia

Posted
  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted

Congratulations on getting down to your goal dose for holding.  I hope you start to feel better soon, but it may take a while now for you to stabilize.

 

Please understand that what is going to work best for you now is time and patience and doing the best you can to take care of yourself in all ways.

 

You may still experience waves of symptoms which come an go, but this isn't an indication you need to adjust your medication.

 

Keep us updated about how you are doing.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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mattinsmom Newbie

mattinsmom

Posted
Posted

Glad to hear that you are feeling ok. Hang in there, take things slowly. I think Petu said it best. 

 

Keeping you in my thoughts

Current:

Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thank you ladies.

 

Yes patience is needed.  last night wasn't too nice (mild to moderate on the chest and arm vibrations) and that was day 3 of a reduction of 1.4 mg only...will continue to monitor...

 

Thanks again and I meant *warm* wishes to all LOL...not war wishes...there's enough of that eh?

 

SC

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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Meimeiquest Newbie

Meimeiquest

Posted
Posted

I actually liked the war wishes...I feel like that's what I'm doing!

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Hahaa...

 

sending you both then!

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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  • 2 weeks later...
Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Day 11 at 15 mg - my dose for stabilising - I'm experiencing a good day here and there but still can't imagine a time when I will function in the real world.... That'll happen. Right?!

 

Best wishes to all

SC

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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  • Moderator Emeritus
Rhiannon Rookie

Rhiannon

Posted
  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted

Yes, it will happen, but I just read over your history, and I would expect it to take you many months to really settle down. Please be patient with the ups and downs, the windows and waves that will come. It's going to take a while for your CNS to rebuild and heal itself after what it's been through. You can and will get there!

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thank you Rhi, I needed to hear that - I hope you are doing well today

SC

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I'm still not even close to stable- what is going on? Day 14 at 15 mg. might try 14 as nothing is really any better than it was six weeks ago when I was at 20. Maybe I just need off this damn stuff ASAP? Get down to 5 or something and hold there? Sigh

 

SC

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

Posted
  • Administrator
Posted

it sometimes takes many weeks to stabilize. Please stop changing your dosage.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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mammaP Newbie

mammaP

Posted
  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted

I dropped one bead on November 2nd, I'm still not ready to drop again yet and waiting to stabilise. 

It is very hard not to do anything and I too have been tempted to quit now but I know without a shadow of doubt

that I would bitterly  regret it if I did. I did it once and thought I was dying,  yet here I am getting that same thought again.

We all want off and feeling better, and we want it NOW, but have to stick it out and wait as long as it takes to avoid being

even worse off than we are already.  This wanting to drop the drug NOW is a withdrawal symptom, it is counter intuitive

really, addiction to other kinds of drugs make people crave more and more. We just want less and less and sometimes

would go through anything just to be off the stuff but I have been there done that after what I considered a slow taper and

can assure you that is is most definitely NOT worth it! 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Nikki Newbie

Nikki

Posted
Posted

SC....there is a UK Paxil support group on FB you might be interested in.  The administrator is a lovely woman who happens to be a nurse.  Between this group and that group you will be in good hands.

 

Paxil, paroxatine, seroxat.....the truth about getting off safely.........is the name.

 

It is amazing how many people from all over the world are dealing with psych meds.

 

Hugs

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Alto, MammaP and Nikki,

 

Thank you. Thank you for caring and chiming in so promptly with advice as always. You are right of course and I am just impatient. I don't need to bore you with a description of how much I hate this and hate these drugs and regret going back on them etc....

 

I heard back from my nutritionist in London and she too wants me to stay on 15 "for a good month"

 

There is little I can do, save wait and rejoice in the moments that are free from side effects.

 

In some ways, I wonder if I am sabotaging the very idea of stabilising.... I don't want to be the person I was when I was medicated and in la la land....if that is stability I don't want it...I don't want any more rushing about like a mad thing, impatient, wired, aggressive pushy and all the while thinking that I'm doing ' just fine'. I don't want any more 'spellbinding' in the manner of Breggin....I was that way on and off for 11 years you know?

 

But, I can't get to where I want to be eventually without a period of stability...and , I suppose I'm unlikely to be too spell bound this time round....lest I forget....unlikely eh?

 

Thank you again so much

SC

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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Sweetcreature Newbie

Sweetcreature

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Suicidal ideation today and yesterday... Crying fits and convinced it will never improve. I have settled down a little but know that more awaits me....I am tired of being patient and being strong just because it would be awful for my family if I ended my life....what about me....I'm the one who has to live it...

 

No point in calling a helpline as they are fools taught to see all of this as a 'mental health problem'.

 

Period due in 12 days. Might be linked. Sorry if tmi.

SC

May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.

Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told)

 

Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.

April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.

September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..

Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.

Reductions were as follows:
First 2 weeks- 27 mg
Next 2- 24mg
Next 2- 21 mg
Next 2- 18mg
Next 2 15 mg
Next 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)
Next 2 weeks- 9 mg
Next 2 weeks- 6 mg
Next 2- weeks 3 mg
Next 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)
10th February 2013 Jumped to zero

Within 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety.  Restarted suppliments - helped a bit.  Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. 

 

No suppliments when moved back.  Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'.  Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg.

 

Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'.  I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........

 

Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks.  I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. 

 

More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS -  thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood.  I think they made things worse.

 

(These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds)

 

Also did the following:

 

Talking therapy

Human Givens Therapy

Homeopathy

Narcotics Anonymous

 

October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief

 

November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day.

 

Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours.  Suicidal for days.  Upped to 30 thinking it would improved.  Even more suicidal.  Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise.  Don't know where to go from here.  Living with parents who are supportive beyond words.

Sweetcreature

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mattinsmom Newbie

mattinsmom

Posted
Posted

I'm just checking in on posts before bed. My brain is foggy, sleep is close, but I have to say don't give up. It will take time and it will be ok. Keep breathing deeply for these thoughts will pass.

Current:

Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

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Petunia Newbie

Petunia

Posted
  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted

I'm still not even close to stable- what is going on? Day 14 at 15 mg. might try 14 as nothing is really any better than it was six weeks ago when I was at 20. Maybe I just need off this damn stuff ASAP? Get down to 5 or something and hold there? Sigh

 

SC

 

Hi SC,

 

I think you have reached a very important part of your 'journey'.  This is the place where you have a chance to make a decision that could quite possibly effect the future course of your recovery in a significant way.

 

You need to hold at 15mg so that your nervous system can can have opportunity to begin making some repairs, it needs an environment of no changes, or the least amount of changes possible. 

 

This is an analogy, but its the best way I can explain it.

At the moment, your nervous system is on the path of damage, if you keep making changes, it will continue on the path of damage.  If you stop making changes, then the damage will stop.  With enough time, with no more damage occurring, the nervous system will settle down enough, so that it will naturally start taking the path of repair.  No one knows how long it needs to sit still before it feels 'safe' enough to change its path to one of repair, it probably depends on how traumatized its become already.

 

You poor nervous system had been through a rough time, please treat it gently now by giving it the stability it needs to be able to change course and start repairing itself.  If you decide to do this, it means that you are going to have to endure some uncomfortable symptoms and accept it, for a while longer, they will come in waves and it doesn't mean that you need to change your medication.

 

Read the topic on windows and waves here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-recovery/

 

The windows and waves pattern of recovery applies to people who are in medication holds as well as people who are completely off medication.

 

Also read through our section on symptoms and self care here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/

 

especially all the pinned topics at the top....... this is where you learn how to manage all these awful symptoms in non-drug related ways.  There is no way to completely eliminate symptoms, this is a reality we all have to come to accept eventually, but its part of the recovery process, we learn to endure and not make things worse by turning to drugs again, then in time, real recovery starts to happen.

 

No one here is going to pretend that this is easy.  If you are here on this site, its because you are one of the growing minority of people who are having problems coming off psyche meds. 

 

What I'm trying to say SC is that I know you are suffering and feeling desperate, but please don't give into that urge to change your medication.  If you want to get off this drug merry-go-round, start focusing on the big picture.

 

You can do it and we are all here to support you.

 

Petu.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

Posted
  • Administrator
Posted

Stabilization after reinstatement can take months. Please stop thinking about jumping around in dosage.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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