Scallyali, hi new here and think im going through withdrawals

[scallyali]

Hi im Alison and im in the UK.I have been having alot of difficulties finding a medication that is right for me. My most difficult time began in April 2013 I was put on citalopram 10 mg which increased my panic and anxiety but I toughed it out and at 2 weeks my gp increased it to 20 mg. I took it for 3 weeks then went back dow. To 10 mg due to side effects, especially muscle and joint pain. I went back to 10 mg and although I wasnt great I wasnt as bad as bad as I was but my gp decided to do a straight swap over to mirtazapine 15 mg. I started sleeping great and felt great the first few days then started having really funny fizzy spells.... Poss side effects or withdrawal from citalopram anyway 2 weeks after that I went back to gp as I didnt like the way I felt on it I had become quite aggressive so the gp took me off it and said I was to ho straight onto 20 mg citalopram which I started the following day.

 

I had the most terrible anxiety and agitation a few days aftr starting it, terrible joint pain in my hands especially after 6 days I called and spoke to a different gp who said lower it to 10 mg I stuck it out for 3 weeks but the pain and the agitation was unbearable! So after 11 days of nothing my anxiety was through the roof so they gave me 25 mg setraline(Zoloft) only took one and felt like vomiting! The anxiety went through the roof and I ended up being given mirtazapine 15 mg to help me sleep as I wasnt sleeping and refferred to the crisis team.

 

They came out and told me to percevere with the mirtazapine and gave me diazepam to get me through initial start up but the anxiety just wasnt getting any better and I was getting horrible side effects so told them I couldnt increase to 30 mg at the week 3 mark so they told me to stop them which I did. Well this is where I really start to feel ill. Only 2 days after stopping them I start to get intrusive thoughts, bad anxiety, flu like symtoms and crawling feeling in my legs. Then after a week not sleeping at all And when I did try to doze I would get loud bangs in my head which would jolt me awake, I had immense headaches like never before, I had muscle pain and twitching I was vomiting and then dry heaving, diarrheoa and genuinely thought I was going to die! I coukdnt eat. I couldnt think straight and felt like I was going to go mad. My mum travelled 100 miles to take me to a an. e where they did bloods and said they was fine they didnt really know what it was but could b withdrawal.

 

I went on for weeks feeling like this and a Dr prescribed me 10 mg amitriptyline to help me sleep but it seemed to make my headaches worse an. I couldnt focus prop. Then I was seen by a psychiatrist who gave me 25 mg quetiapine which knocked me out but I had terrible side effects much like the mirtazapine! So only took 3. I went back to the gp as I couldnt tolerate the anxiety anymre they started me on 10 mg citalopram and I ended up in hospital on about day 9 my headaches were so bad andi couldnt sleep I was getting myoclonic jerks. They did a ct scan all was clear as were my bloods. So they gave me diazepam and zopliclone for sleep. I took for 3 days and decided to reinstate mirtazapine at 7.5 mg I started sleeping loads better, still getting anxiety but headaches seemed to improve a little too.

Then I was refferred to see a psychiatrist who said that dose isnt enough if u cant tolerate 45 mg then I want u to try moclobemide 150 mg which I started within 2 days of stopping mirtazapine. After a week on it I started gettingextremely agitated and having my ocd intrusive thoughts more frequent! My partner and I decided it wasnt for me so went back on mirtazaapine 7.5 mg. It knocked me about nad I felt very sedated all day.

 

On return to my psychiatrist he insisted I increase to 45 mg so over these last 7 weeks I have gone from 7.5 mg for 3 days to 15 mg for 2 and half weeks to 22.5 mg for 2 weeks to 26.25 mg and I thought I was going crazy my thoughts were all over the place I was agitated, couldnt function, I was having head rushes and almost passing out and what I think were immensepanic attacks! My gp agreed to drop to 15 mg which I did for a week. I want off this horrible drug I feel so ill on it. After the 15 mg for the week I have now dropped to 7.5 mg.

 

I am highly anxious and quite agitated to the point I am having to take diazepam to calm me down. I dont feel right at all, I am totally not functional at all, no appetite, dodgy belly in the morning, twitching on and off, headaches, cant think straight. I actually feel like im going down the same route when I stopped them cold turkey in August! Now my gp wants me to start something else for my anxiety and says to taper off this in a week or I could cross taper. I really dont know what to do but I really dont want to end up like I did last time! I havent been steady on any dose of this stuff so have no idea about tapering. I just want to get my ocd and anxiety under control and feel well. Any advice would be much appreciated, sorry for the long post!

Edited December 12, 2013 by mammaP
Paragraph breaks

[mammaP]

Hi Scallyali,  my mind boggles at all those changes, there is no wonder you feel so bad!  You seem extremely sensitive to 

psychiatric drugs and will probably have adverse reactions to whatever they throw at you!  If I were you I wouldn't switch to 

anything else, your poor brain and nervous system has taken quite a battering and anything else will likely make things 

even worse.  You need to take care with the diazepam too as that is highly addictive. 

 

For now I wouldn't updose at all, Alto will be along with expert advice for you, the multiple changes are beyond my knowledge

I'm afraid. Your body needs stability and time to settle down. Throwing more and more drugs at it is adding to the confusion. 

 

It would help very much if you could list the meds, and changes in your signature line so we can at a glance where you are 

without having to go back to the beginning, it makes it much easier to advise you.  Find out how to do that here

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

It will get better, it takes time but you will get there. SA is the very best place to be and everyone here is either in withdrawal

or tapering psychiatric meds. 

[scallyali]

I know what you mean with regards to starting anything else and yes I seem to be very sensitive to these meds. However I have been suffering with depression, gad, panic disorder, agoraphobia and ocd so therefore need some kind of medication. Im not sure whether to lower the mirtazapine again in a few days. I really dont know what to do anymore im so confused and feel like my mental health hasnt been helped at all. Im due bck at my GPS on Tuesday and ideally he wants me started on this citalopram again this time staying at the 10 mg. I know what youmean about the diazepam too its soo hard! Its not like ive been on a medication and felt well and my condition is under control because its quite the oposite!

[Altostrata]

Welcome, scallyall.

 

I'm not a medical professional, here's my take on your situation: You are one of those people who are sensitive to serotonergics. From the very start, you've had a classic adverse reaction to them. All of your doctors are idiots for not recognizing this.

 

You are also suffering from all the drug changes. If you feel better at 7.5mg mirtazapine, I would stay there for a good long while until your symptom pattern stabilizes.

 

However I have been suffering with depression, gad, panic disorder, agoraphobia and ocd so therefore need some kind of medication.

 

As I read your posts, it seems you developed these symptoms as adverse effects of the drugs and coming off them. This does NOT mean you need additional medication. It means you need to let your nervous system settle down.

 

Don't go to doctors complaining of your symptoms and expecting them to fix you. They don't know what to do, GPs particularly.

 

Here is a list of doctors who have a clue http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/988-recommended-doctors-therapists-or-clinics/

[scallyali]

So if a person like myself is sensitive to these types of meds what do we do? Because I am certainly in need of something. my depression has hit rock bottom I struggle to get out of bed everyday. My anxiety is at its worse. The only thing I felt helped after 6 weeks was the citalopram.... I actually drove the car which I havent done in such a long time. 70 miles to picjk my daughter up. Im just too scared to start it again because I really didnt like the start ups.

[scallyali]

Its difficult lowering my dose too as I dont know whether its the withdrawals or my condition that is more pronounced everytime I lower. My gp knows how sensitive I am to meds which is why he was never encouraging me to get up to 45 mg mirtazapine!

[Petunia]

Hi Scallyali,

 

I'm sorry you are feeling so awful at the moment, its really not surprising though, with all those changes in such a short time, along with you being sensitive in the first place.

 

I agree with MammaP and Alto, you don't need to be changing to another medication.  Your nervous system needs stability, and with everything you have been through, it may take a while for your symptoms to settle down again.

 

We have a section with information and discussions about natural ways to deal with symptoms, you may find some ideas here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/

 

Why were you put on medication to begin with?

 

Petu.

[scallyali]

I was originally put on medication for severe anxiety, depression and health anxiety that had become obsessional. I dont think I will add anything to the mix yet until im off this mirtazapine but I I know my anxiety disorders arent helping the withdrawals either. I was only on it for 3 weeks the last time and was told I could just stop it but I became very ill within a week of stopping it. So this time im tapering. Im down to 7.5 mg have been for 5 days, 15 mg for a week before that. Im going to taper again in a few days I desperately need to get off it. I havent felt well on it anyway. Taking the odd diazepam to help me through it, by no means am I taking it constantly, some days 2 mg, 4 mg at the most. I just want to feel well enough to try and persevere with something!

[Altostrata]

Scallyall, why do you feel you need to get off 7.5mg mirtazapine so quickly?

 

The terrible depression you feel now might very well be a withdrawal symptom. What we've seen is that if you give your nervous system stability -- stop going up and down on drugs for a while -- the symptoms are reduced.

 

Here's our topic about tapering mirtazapine http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5301-tips-for-tapering-off-remeron-mirtazapine/

[scallyali]

Yes I know I havent helped myself by constantly trying different doses. I just have it in my head that I need off it as its made me feel ill everytime I increased and after last night I had the worst nocturnal panic attack ive ever had. I was truly petrified, woken gasping for breath, I swear I couldnt breath at one point and my heart was pounding so hard it frightened me soo much! I cant seem to think straight either but I know anxiety can also do this. I worry if I stay on this it is holding bck my recovery to start on something that will work for me as I have mental health problems as ive said before which have not been treated effectively. Does it not work that way?? Will I recover quicker if I continue taking the 7.5 mg until im stable enough to lower it again?

If I became stable on a very low dose would it be viable to add something to improve my anxiety/ depression?

[Altostrata]

Your nervous system has become destabilized from all the drug changes. There's no pill I know of that corrects this.

 

You will continue to get waves of bad symptoms as your nervous system tries to repair itself. See http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-recovery/

 

If 7.5mg has relieved some of the symptoms, you might stay on it for a while to see if you can stabilize. If your depression is iatrogenic, i.e. caused by the drugs, it will gradually lift. In the meantime, see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

[mammaP]

I would definitely stick with the current dose,  withdrawal can cause depression, many

of us have been hit by crippling depression worse than the original.  You could find that

once you have stabilised you will feel much better, then feel better with every reduction.

Once you are off mirtazapine there is every chance you will be able to live without drugs.

 

We are fed drugs and told that we will need them forever because of 'chemical imbalance'

or similar, but science is now moving on and away from that theory.  I believed it when I was

being poly drugged, but now I am determined never to take another anti depressant! 

You may surprise yourself when you learn that you are stronger than you think you are! 

[scallyali]

My depression got worse within short time of starting it but this is the norm... right? But it got worse and worse the more I took, my body was telling md no more but psych said keep increasing. I am no longer seeing him, he wasnt interested in my well being just kept pill pushing! I will try to continue on the 7.5 mg for now see if it gets any better but I have a feeling my underlying depression/ anxiety disorders are part of this too but I guess dropping from 26.5 mg to 7.5 mg in 2 weeks is going to have some impact. I know I can feel the chemicals in my brain altering, is this what the brain zaps / weird sensations going through my head are?

[scallyali]

I have a question. I have been having very bad panic attacks and my anxiety is really that bad today ive had to take a diazepam which is yet to touch me. I woke up feeling so dizzy too and felt stiff and achy. Am I taking too much do I need to drop it or are these effects because I have lowered it already? I suffer with ocd intrusive thoughts and these are more pronounced and frequent today which is another reason why I took the diazepam. Is this going to settle or do I lower it??? Any advice would be appreciated x

[mammaP]

It sounds like withdrawal to me Scally, how were you at 15mg? I wouldn't drop again yet, it could get even worse. 

It's hard when a medication is affecting you badly because you have to try and work out which is worse, 

the actual med or the withdrawal! 

[mammaP]

Sorry, just noticed in your sig you were hallucinating at 15mg! 

I think one of the others with more experience than I would be better to advise you, but

please don't alter the dose just yet. 

[scallyali]

Yes it also increased my anxiety the more I took. I might try a quarter tonight see if it improves the anxiety. I cant say for sure what it is... Could be 1 of 3 1st being my condition 2nd withdrawals or 3rd still side effects?? Im struggling with the sedative side of things too. I would like to feel more with it too! It just never suited me whatever dose I took. Im not feeling sick today or any head sensations so maybe they are lessening and it is my condition

[Altostrata]

Yes, the brain zaps etc. are hallmarks of withdrawal syndrome. This is probably causing emotional symptoms as well.

 

Please stay calm. You will need to wait out your symptoms. I would not increase beyond 7.5mg mirtazapine.

 

How frequently are you taking a benzo? You may be getting a paradoxical or rebound reaction from that, too.

[scallyali]

Alto I took 7.5 mg again last night and just doent know what to do anymore. I have woken with horrendous anxiety and agitation, also the brain zaps weird sensations through my head! I ended up taking 4 mg diazepam altogether yesterday. I have had to take 2 mg this morning as we are meant to be taking the kids to santas grotto......something which I should be looking forward to and instead I just want to sit on the sofa and rock the anxiety is crippling me! Why woul. I get a paradoxical/ rebound reaction from the diazepam? Im so scared about how all this is making me feel. I truly cant stand feeling this anxiety anymore! I could sit here and just cry :-( do I reduce the mirtazapine again?

[scallyali]

Yesterday . Felt extremely irritable to like really angry over nothing! I thought the diazepam would relax me but apparently the dosage im taking wouldnt be enough really but I dont want to take anymore as I really dont want to be getting addixted to that stuff and have to withdraw from that too! Is there anything more effective than diazepam?

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Hi scally,

 

You are right not to try to increase the diazepam but I think you might try other methods for calming. Gentle walks outside are good and I am a great fan of warm milk and chamomile tea whenever I feel upset. I think you have to limit the chamomile, I think I read that somewhere but not sure. I only have 3 or less cups a day, mostly at night.

 

'Changing the channel' really works for me as well as some gentle stretching exercises. And just removing yourself from the irritating situations.

 

After a life of taking pills we have to retrain ourselves to use other methods for calming and relaxation. Natural methods take a bit more effort but they do work.

 

Hope you feel better today!

[scallyali]

Thanks cymbaltawithdrawal5600. Well back home from the grotto! I did it but it was soo hard for me.... Queuing for over an hr. I just didnt feel with it at all. I swear the mirtazapine is making me feel not with it the next day! I spent the whole time really not feeling gd at all. Its so hard to know whether im getting withdrawals bcus believe it or not some of the symptoms im getting I had when I first started them! If I drop again how long before your body settles at the New lower dose?

I have the warm milk at bedtime to try to relax me :-) im sure I read somewhere that chamomile tea was a no no when withdrawing... Cant remember where tho!

[mammaP]

Hi Scalli, glad you survived the grotto, huge pat on the back for making it through! 

Queueing is an ordeal when you are well but must be a nightmare in withdrawal! 

(I avoid queues at all cost!)  

 

When I started effexor my psych told me it can be hard to come off and said

"it's like initial side effects in reverse"  which is what you are experiencing now. 

I know it is hard and sometimes unbearable but it really is best to wait it out. 

It will settle but cutting while you are having brain zaps is not a good idea. 

I hope this wave passes very soon for you. 

[scallyali]

Well ive felt ill the whole time ive been taking this so decided last night to take a quarter. I have felt very nauseous this morning and had a dodgy tummy too. I have quite a horrible headache which isnt helping the nausea but that came on last night and im still getting the weird head sensations its weird cant explain it it feels like tingling cold zaps going over different parts of my head! Think the worst feeling is the not being able to think straight bit of cnfused thinking and messing with my memory ( I had noticed since taking this my memory is horrible and getting loads of derealisation which makes me anxious) keep thinking im going mad or going to lose my mind.... Ive focussed so much on the way ive felt for over a yr now I dont know who I am anymore or my chikdren/ partner. Ive been feeling guilty but. I think this is my depression. I was never this depressed before starting this made... Bck at thr drs tomorrow see what he suggests

[Altostrata]

Scallyali, there's a good reason why we talk about 10% reduction in dosage. Now you are suffering withdrawal symptoms. Please go back on 7.5mg right away and read http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5301-tips-for-tapering-off-remeron-mirtazapine/