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☼ moodyblues78: The fight is on (Zoloft/Diazepam)


moodyblues78

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Hi all.

 

I`m new to this forum and this is me:

 

I`m 35 yrs old male, husband and father of 3 children.

 

I lived my youth in an abusive family and went through my early years with panic attacks and depression without any help from anyone. Just judgement and 0 love & acceptance. This left me in really bad shape after leaving home. Nevertheless I managed to start a family, get phd and land a good job. My past still has always been haunting me. So in 2008 I went to doctor cause I felt so terrible. He gave me 10mg of Cirpalex per day. I took it for a few months until I forgot to take them anymore. I had no issues coming off the drug. 

 

Then came the year 2011. My employer is in trouble and is planning to shut down the firm. I`m getting bad anxiety. At the same time I had big trouble with some of my relatives, our dog died, had to buy a new car, feeling axious and very tired since our 3rd child had just been born. I felt for a long time that my stress levels were too much for me to handle. 

 

Then the disaster struck. One night, out of nowhere, I started hearing this very loud hiss inside my head. I panicked and got up. After some walking it went away. I was relieved and went back to sleep. Maybe a couple of weeks later the same thing happened again. Only this time it became permanent. I lost all will to live. I went to a doctor. They took MRI and hearing tests. All was fine but I could not take it anymore. So I went back on cipralex. This time the dosage was 20mg. 

 

I took the med for months. Also I got a description for 10mg diazepam 2-3 times per day to help my anxiety attacks. Luckily I did not take it that much but looking back the last 2 years, I`ve taken a Lot of benzos. All was fine until summer. Suddenly I felt that Cipralex was no longer working. My doc told me to get off cipralex in a couple of weeks! I did just that but after little over a month I was in hell and went back to see my doctor. He was buzzled and told me to go to another doctor. He was very understanding and put me on Zoloft. First 50mg, later 100mg. 

 

Again things got better until last summer I felt that the drug is no longer working. I did not want to increase the dosage so I made a plan to withdraw myself from it. During the next 80 days I went of the drug. The last pill I took 11th of november 2013. Now it`s xmas eve and I`m in hell.  

 

I just realized that I`m not only coming off Zoloft. It`s also the benzo that is giving me this sweet ride in hell. There have been few good moments lately. 

 

I`m sensitive to everything. Especially to sounds and stress. My tinnitus is terrible most of the time. Sometimes I get a free moment of it. It fluctuates a lot. Stress triggers it very easily. Slightest amount of stress gives me bad hiss in the head and tinnitus with panic attack. I can hardly survive everyday life. 

 

AD and benzos have made my nervous system a complete wreck. Even much worse than what it was before. If I manage to free myself from stress and being afraid of everything, I am fine for a while. I have read a lot of WD stories and common factor in those cases that have it very hard to get off these meds seems to be the amount of stress that is present in their lives. 

 

I`m determined that I will not put another AD or benzo in my mouth ever again. I do not know if I will survive this but my hope is that some of you will help me during this very hard path I have chosen to walk.

 

Thanks.

Moody Blues

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Moodyblues, welcome to SA.  Sorry you are having such a hard time, you've come

to the right place for help to get through it. 

Re Zoloft, I know this is the LAST thing you want to hear but it might help you if

you re-instate the zoloft. You tapered too fast and are in withdrawal. Reinstating

at a lower dose might ease your symptoms considerably, 50% of the dose you

were on when you stopped the drug.if that doesn't help then you could increase

slightly until you feel more comfortable, Hold for a while then start a slow taper. 

 

Many of us have tapered to fast and had to reinstate, it isn't failure, it is doing what

is best for your body and your brain. 

 

You are a very strong person who has come through a lot and you can get through

this too.  Not sure about the diazepam without a bit more info. It would help if you can 

put your med history in your signature line. Which drug and dose, when started and when

stopped.  Here is how to do that. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Here is a topic on reinstating and why it is advised.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3079-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-stop-withdrawal-symptoms/

 

Here is the topic on tapering Zoloft.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1441-tips-for-tapering-off-zoloft-sertraline/

 

We can deal with the diazepam when we have more info. 

I'm glad you came here, it really is the very best place to be for withdrawal and tapering support. 

Edited by Altostrata
fixed link

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Thanks for the reply.

 

I never took the benzos on a regular basis. Some weeks I took 30mg/day say for 4 days. Some times 20mg a couple of times per week. Sometimes there could be week or two without but when I felt my anxiety building up I would take about 20mg per day for a few days. Then I would be off until went back on benzos again because of anxiety. It`s hard to form a pattern but thinking back the last couple of years I am starting to think that the anxiety might have been from benzo withdraval. Last summer I noticed that I had to take more and more to feel ok. That`s when I started to decrease my benzo intake. It was about the same time I felt that the zoloft is no longer working. There could be a link there. My AD was blocking me from seeing the benzo wd. This is just an idea. I`m not sure. The last 10mg diazepam pill I took 16th of december for a anxiety attack. Since then I`ve been off benzos.

 

I hope this helps.

 

Reinstating is an option. I`m willing to accept that but I really, really fear doing that.

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post

Hello....nice to meet you.

 

Alot of similarities.  The abusiveness you experienced as a child does cause anxiety.  I had it as a kid, and my daughter has it due to her verbally abusive father.  It is a 'disease' of sorts in dysfunctional families.  You are not alone.

 

Job loss is the most anxiety-producing experience that many (Americans) have gone thru in recent years due to the economic problems since 2009.  It is a fear that I can't even explain.  I went thru it.  This is a real life problem, and I feel for you.  Having children is beautiful and you were blessed with three.  The job situation and the new baby can cause anxiety.

 

Your symptoms are Withdrawal symptoms and they cause more anxiety and depression.  Like you said they can wreck out nervous systems.

 

I have never had tinnitus as a symptoms but there are members here who do and they can help you out with that.

 

You probably did a short tapering process for the zoloft and this can make your symptoms worse.  There is a benzoWD in the mix and there are alot of people here who can help you out with that.  There is a benzo WD section in the forums.

 

So many times all of us have gone thru reinstating the meds to lessen or stop the WD symptoms.  It can really help, sometimes it doesn't.  It did help me each time I did it.  You need some peace and I would try the reinstatement like MamaP suggested.  These are only suggestions based on our own experiences.

 

My dog died last week, it's the holidays and I just came off Celexa so I am not doing well myself.  There is a grieving process going on with me and with you too.  It's rough and you are doing the very best you can.

 

The other members will be along shortly to help you out.  Hang in there

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

Link to post

Thank you for your words Nikki and mammaP too.

 

I did not expect to get any responses especially on xmas eve and I`m crying here as I read your posts over and over again. My family is my only strength and I have explained to them what I am going through. They are extremely supportive. Without that I would not be able to cope. But I don`t want to burden them too much. Perhaps this is the place where I can get help too. 

 

Thank you and merry christmas.

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post

 wish I could say nice to meet you but under these circumstances that would just be wrong.

 

Please read my post, its long and very sad, because I just did not adhere to the advice that these great ppl here kept giving me.

 

Please do not make the same mistakes as I have because I am still battling horribly with all this.

 

you did what I did and came off to fast. So search your soul and see whether R/I is an option and then do it. Taper 10% as the thread will tell you and hopefully you and I will be free form this nightmare in the near future.

 

Zoloft comes in liquid so when and if you do R/I the taper is easier I have found...not that I have started yet.

 

My problem is I am dependent on the benzo too, thank God you probably aren't, because that is a double whammy.

 

May God Give you Peace on this day and tomorrow in rememberance of Christs birth.

 

And if I can be of any help...I am here

2006-2012 50mgs zoloft
skipped doses every other day for a year and started having anxiety again in March 2012
back on at 50mgs Dec 2013
started taper from benzos April 2014 per Heather Ashton method (c/o from kpin to diazepam)
March 2015 started 1.25mg lorazepam
Tapered off Zoloft in May off in 4 weeks...5 weeks later crashing AGAIN. Dr wanted to start Gabapentin tried it 7 days
Symptoms :burning eyes, anxiety, pounding heart, dizzy, strange head feeling, internal shaking, Overall UNWELL
Taking lorazepam 1.25mg daily

Link to post

Thank you for your support laineyk.

 

Seems like I really need to consider RI..

 

My last dosage was 12,5mg. 1/8th of a 100mg pill. Perhaps I should go back to that and get description for lower dosage pills. We don`t have that liquid version here..

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

Just wanted to stop in and say "Hi" and that you are not alone in this journey.

 

The general recommendation here is to taper an antidepressant by no more than 10 % per month and many of us are more sensitive and need to taper more slowly than that.

 

Have you considered taking Mamma P's advice and reinstating 50 % of what your last dose was on November 11th?

 

There are no guarantees but I have seen/heard many people in a similar situation as yours (of tapering much to quickly ) , feeling really terrible & then feel much better after the smaller reinstatement.  They then can slowly taper from that dose.

 

It is my understanding that there is an optimal time frame for reinstating & that your chances of it working are better the sooner you try the reinstatement.  I don't think at this point that it could hurt. 

 

 

 

Welcome Moody Blues!! 

Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone

1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox.

b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b]

2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax

November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b

Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax

My mantra " go slow & with the flow "

3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day)

4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day.

10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro.

1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms.

1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. :) 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thank you for your support laineyk.

 

Seems like I really need to consider RI..

 

My last dosage was 12,5mg. 1/8th of a 100mg pill. Perhaps I should go back to that and get description for lower dosage pills. We don`t have that liquid version here..

If it were me & I felt that lousy I would try to reinstate. Any possibility that you could cut the 1/8 tablet in half? 

 

I wush I could advise about how much to reinstate… someone else will have to weigh in on that. Maybe 1/8 of a tablet ( 12.5 mg) would be ok…. I just don't know myself.

 

Your call. There is some info. on how to make your own liquid here.

Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone

1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox.

b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b]

2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax

November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b

Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax

My mantra " go slow & with the flow "

3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day)

4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day.

10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro.

1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms.

1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. :) 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut.

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  • Administrator

Welcome, moodyblues.

 

Yes, 12.5mg might help your withdrawal symptoms. Do you have any tablets left? If I were you, I would take 12.5mg right away.

 

After you hopefully stabilize on that dose -- it may be a month or more -- you can taper much more gradually using a liquid as described here

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1441-tips-for-tapering-off-zoloft-sertraline/

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Welcome, moodyblues.

 

Yes, 12.5mg might help your withdrawal symptoms. Do you have any tablets left? If I were you, I would take 12.5mg right away.

 

After you hopefully stabilize on that dose -- it may be a month or more -- you can taper much more gradually using a liquid as described here

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1441-tips-for-tapering-off-zoloft-sertraline/

 

I should do this. I`m still fighting against it. Feels like I have lost the fight. What if it does not work..etc.

 

Ok.. I`ll just take it. Lets take the long way. I`ll take your advice. I`ve got some tablets left. They should last for a month or so. 

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post

take the long road...please...its just not worth all the agony taking the short cut...I know I have been living it

2006-2012 50mgs zoloft
skipped doses every other day for a year and started having anxiety again in March 2012
back on at 50mgs Dec 2013
started taper from benzos April 2014 per Heather Ashton method (c/o from kpin to diazepam)
March 2015 started 1.25mg lorazepam
Tapered off Zoloft in May off in 4 weeks...5 weeks later crashing AGAIN. Dr wanted to start Gabapentin tried it 7 days
Symptoms :burning eyes, anxiety, pounding heart, dizzy, strange head feeling, internal shaking, Overall UNWELL
Taking lorazepam 1.25mg daily

Link to post

Moody Blues.....it's okay to cry, sometimes we just can't help it.  Please understand that your present circumstances are anxiety-producing - and - the drop in medication causes anxiety and depression coupled with other symptoms.

 

None of us knows for sure if the reinstatement will work 100% it is just that the majority of us have had to either up or dose or reinstate to stabilize and pull ourselves out of the pit.

 

You can only try.  It may take awhile for you to feel better.

 

Nikki

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

Link to post

I try telling myself that all the time. This is WD. It`s not me. I don`t mind being depressed. It has always been a big part of my life. It`s the anxiety and fear/panic that are hard for me. 

 

At least I slept ok last night. I woke up many times but no major anxiety. Unfortunately mornings are very hard. Yesterday I was very anxious and my hands were shaking all morning. Now I`m just anxious and have sweaty hands. 

 

Maybe I`ll drink some green tea and go for a walk.

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post

Well the sweaty hands are gone. Now my hands are shaking. Anxiety.. Depression. Nausea. My whole body seems to be shaking a little bit. Feeling very angry.

 

This is not fun.

 

I reinstated yesterday back to 12,5mg.

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post

My understanding is that zoloft can cause some anxiety upon taking it.  So maybe this will pass. 

 

Hang in there

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

Link to post

Eating helped a little. Maybe my blood sugar was too low.

 

I`m listening to some relaxing music and trying to find the energy to play board games with the kids. I hope it goes well. I don`t want to ruin the Christmas for them. I really don`t. Keep your thumbs up.

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post

How much diazepam, how often and how much, during 2013 is very important in this.  I you have had diazepam regularly up to now you might try reinstating a low dose. Finding a stable situation is most important.

 

Benzo withdrawal does increase tinnitus. Taking benzo irregular is bad for tinnitus.   If tinnitus is not constant and you have periods with no tinnitus it is a good sign! When your system stabilize there is a good chance that your tinnitus will fade.

 

Coping with tinnitus is hard, but it gets better with time and by using tools. White noise apps is available for free that gives relief. I read books in my kitchen where the fan cancels out my tinnitus. Finding as much relief as possible is important as the anxiety and stress the tinnitus causes is accumulative. Gentle stretch and massage on the neck muscle that runs from the bone below your ear down to your collarbone can sometimes reduce tinnitus for a while. Does your tinnitus get worse during yawning?

 

If you are able to go out for a walk, do so. Every day. Walking reduces stress hormones.

2010: Mirtazapine 30mg followed by Zopiclone 7.5 mg for sleep post surgery due to pain.
2012-> Tapering Mirtazapine and Zopiclone at different rates unsuccessfully.
2013: Hospitalized 10 days due to complete Insomnia. Forced back up to 45mg Mirtazapine, 7.5 mg Zopiclone and also Theralene 1 ml.
2013-03: Lab showed Vitamin D deficient. Found the vitamin d and insomnia connection. Supplementing vitamin d. Sleep improved by 1-2 hours
2013-04: Dropped mirtazapine to 30 due to severe side effects. Quit Theralene. Zopiclone 7.5.
2013-05 - 2013-11: Mirtazapine taper monthly 25 20 15 11 8 4 2.5 mg
2013-12 Holding M at 2.5. Need to taper Zopiclone due to daytime nausea and vomiting. Taper zopiclone 1/4 red every 5 d. Last Z 2013-12-19
2013-12-31 M:2.5. Reinstated Zopiclone 3.75 due to Insomnia
2014-01-06 M:2.5. Taper Z 1.9 ... 2014-01-14 M:2.5. Z 1 mg.
Jumped of Zopiclone 01-20. Jumped mirtazapine 02-16.

Theralene: 10mg 02-09. 8mg 03-09. 5mg 03-15. 4mg 03-24. 3mg 04-08. Jumped 04-21.
Zopiclone free for 251 days. Mirtazapine free for 224 days.

Link to post

Thanks wulfgar.

 

My Tinnitus fluctuates a lot and that causes me anxiety -> to the diazepam.. Sometimes there are a jets inside my skull. Sometimes I`m able to sleep without any masking noise.

 

I described above my methods of taking benzos. I can not give you any better picture.

 

I use use pink noise at low volume with headphones to sleep. Lately I have noticed that it makes tinnitus worse. Maybe it`s because of my over sensitive nervous system. Last night I tried to listen to simple relaxing melody and I slept better and T has not been bad today. I believe things could improve if I succeed in stabilizing my nervs. 

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post

...and I`m Very sensitive to light and sounds. My wife just dropped her cell phone to the ground and I literally jumped off my chair.

 

T does not get worse when yawning but ads a couple of tones.

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post

My T gets louder and more tones when i yawn. I think the tinnitus might come from swelling/inflammation in muscles tissues round the cochlea in the ear. Jaw clenching, muscle tension, neck problems, stress hormones causes this. Benzo withdrawal causes the neurons in the cochlea to be more sensitive and picks up this swelling as sounds. When you yawn muscles around your ear tenses up (become bigger during the yawn) and causes an increase/change in the tinnitus.

 

As you get better and heal, the mechanisms that drive your tinnitus will reduce and so also I believe your tinnitus. For me tinnitus causes anxiety because of the fear that that the tinnitus will be permanent or become worse. It has not become worse, but better. One of the tones in my right ear where tweeting morse like code for a month, awful! I wrote some of the code down. There where no hidden morse message in it. Thank god for that!

2010: Mirtazapine 30mg followed by Zopiclone 7.5 mg for sleep post surgery due to pain.
2012-> Tapering Mirtazapine and Zopiclone at different rates unsuccessfully.
2013: Hospitalized 10 days due to complete Insomnia. Forced back up to 45mg Mirtazapine, 7.5 mg Zopiclone and also Theralene 1 ml.
2013-03: Lab showed Vitamin D deficient. Found the vitamin d and insomnia connection. Supplementing vitamin d. Sleep improved by 1-2 hours
2013-04: Dropped mirtazapine to 30 due to severe side effects. Quit Theralene. Zopiclone 7.5.
2013-05 - 2013-11: Mirtazapine taper monthly 25 20 15 11 8 4 2.5 mg
2013-12 Holding M at 2.5. Need to taper Zopiclone due to daytime nausea and vomiting. Taper zopiclone 1/4 red every 5 d. Last Z 2013-12-19
2013-12-31 M:2.5. Reinstated Zopiclone 3.75 due to Insomnia
2014-01-06 M:2.5. Taper Z 1.9 ... 2014-01-14 M:2.5. Z 1 mg.
Jumped of Zopiclone 01-20. Jumped mirtazapine 02-16.

Theralene: 10mg 02-09. 8mg 03-09. 5mg 03-15. 4mg 03-24. 3mg 04-08. Jumped 04-21.
Zopiclone free for 251 days. Mirtazapine free for 224 days.

Link to post
  • Administrator

wulfgar, :lol:

 

If you're sensitive to light and noise, you may wish to reduce light stimulation. Wear dark glasses in daylight and at the computer.

 

Acupuncture or chiropractic might relieve any symptoms caused by tight muscles or jaw clenching.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post

This xmas went well..

 

I spent yesterday night in ER. 

 

I got hit in the eye with children`s book. Now I`m in agony and lost much of my eyesight. This does not do good to my anxiety. Fortunately the pain should go away in a couple of days and my sight should return to normal over time. 

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post

Oh dear, When it rains it pours! So sorry! I've heard our mods say it takes about 4 days for a reinstatement to take effect. If you can, just let your mind relax into this. You may feel a lot of weird or uncomfortable sensations from tinnitus to anxiety to nausea, but you are still okay. The whole process of withdrawing from these drugs can be enormously growth-enhancing, just not easy.

 

I am in a sound-sensitive place right now at times. In the middle of the night recently my middle-aged husband "passed wind" in his sleep and I screamed reflexively at the top of my lungs.

 

I do hope your eye heals well and quickly!

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

Link to post

As I read what happened I said to myself "oh dear" and then scrolled down to see MQ said it first.......

 

You poor guy.  Did they give you a bit of lidocaine that you can use topically to reduce the pain in your eye?  It works well.  It is a gel and/or liquid.  Ask for it if your pain does not subside.  Trust me on this.

 

Has it been two days since taking the zoloft?  You may actually feel somewhat better after the holidays go by.  I hope the reinstatement works.....I was always able to go back to my original dose and the symptoms would go away in a week or so.  It happened with Paxil and Lexapro. 

 

Remember you have a normal amount of anxiety which anyone would have.  And then the anxiety produced from tapering.  Try to give yourself permission and understanding to feel the anxiety from the other things.

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

Link to post

I guess I`m feeling the RI working a bit. I`m not crying all the time anymore. I have had some ok windows. I`ve taken 3 dosages now. 

 

I got some gel from the doc but it does not help the pain much. Luckily the pain is starting to fade away but not being able too see is scary.

 

You are not going to believe this. Our dog ate my eyepatch last night.. All I got now is this wet lump with a rubber band.

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post

Problem: I'm waking up every night with my brain going crazy. Hundreds of ideas and images go through my mind per second. I really need to work hard to calm myself so that i wont panic. After this hyperactivity goes away I cannot get back to sleep. What is this? It is very fustrating.

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post
  • Administrator

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post

I take fish oil capsules and magnesium citrate. They took the brain zaps away but this is new.

 

Right now I`m going crazy. The pain went away enough for me to open my damaged eye. I can not see. Only blur. I`m super scared, anxious, can`t breathe and feeling dizzy. I just walk circles and try to breathe. 

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post
  • Administrator

It's a wave of withdrawal symptoms. Please try to stay calm when you get these. Meditative breathing can help.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post

I think the name for your symptom might be mental akathisia. To me, that is truly the worst symptom ever. But, I don't have it anymore, and someday you won't either.

 

Most of us are somewhat professional insomniacs. In my experience, if I can be calm, I will have a better day if I rest, even if I don't sleep. If my mind is a rodeo, I am better off to get up and do something, in hopes that my brain will reset. Then there's the drifting off almost to sleep followed by sudden jerking awake which is an AD side effect.

 

I hope your dog doesn't die. Given how things are going for you right now... :)

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

Link to post

The worst night of my life.

 

I woke up to the sound of my daughter crying. That triggered my Tinnitus to reach record horrible levels. I can`t describe the terror I faced. I managed to take care of my daughter but after went back to bed I collapsed. Horrible anxiety and fear, sweaty hands, I felt that my body weighted a ton. I could not escape. I felt suicidal. I prayed.

 

Luckily I managed to put my headphones on and played white noise with my smartphone. It masked the sound enough for me to slowly calm down. 

 

In the morning I was scared to get out of bed. Luckily my Tinnitus was back to normal levels.

 

How can I take this for months and months every day? I`m more anxious than ever and now I`m horribly scared too. Hopefully my RI works... I`m losing hope.

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post
  • Administrator

You've only reinstated on Dec. 25. Give it some time, maybe a couple of months. It's a good sign some of your symptoms have lessened slightly.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

How can I take this for months and months every day? I`m more anxious than ever and now I`m horribly scared too.

 

Its much better to focus on getting through each day, there's no predicting the course of withdrawal symptoms, so it makes more sense to deal with what we have going on right now.  If you can get through this moment, then you will be able to get through the next moment when it arrives.

 

The strong feeling of fear is a common withdrawal symptom and not based in reality, so its best to do what you can to distract yourself from it until it passes.

 

I had to learn how to stop worrying about the future, because it increased stress and then made symptoms worse. It sounds like you have some good methods for calming yourself down, this is what we have to do, become as calm as possible and wait for the bad symptom to pass.... it always does eventually.

 

I also have tinnitus, like you, I have a 'normal' level and then it gets worse at times, it seems to be slowly improving over time.

 

You might feel better next week, maybe even tomorrow will be a better day.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Link to post

Thank you meimei, Altostrata and Petu.

 

Your words are important. Hearing things that I know but don`t believe until someone else says them helps a lot.

 

Yesterday was horrible. I was anxious and scared the whole day but managed to have about 5-10 minutes of ok time. I tried to carry that with me all the time. 

 

Going to bed was extremely stressful. I was sweating like crazy and wanted to jump off the bed right away. I decided not to. I tried to find a thought pattern that would not lead into worrying about everything. It was hard but when I found it I stuck on to that. For hours. Not being able to sleep but focusing on to not being being afraid and anxious. It was good. Then I finally slept. Not too long but still. I won this fight.

 

I had dreams and woke up again to my mind going crazy. I took a wrong flight and ended up on military airfield in the middle east. Also my wife gave birth to 3 babies last night. 2 boys, 1 girl...

 

I hate roller coasters..

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post

Yesterday was good.

 

Mood improved towards evening. Played with my son for hours. Good times with family all together.

 

Night brought the anxiety back and today I`m feeling bad. No motivation and depressed. Luckily my eye is slowly getting better.

08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.
Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg
.

1/21/14 11mg

3/18/14 9,9mg

2/18/14 8mg

4/22/14 7,6mg

5/5/14 7,2mg

5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary.

8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary.

10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.
12/28/2014 Jump!

Link to post
  • ChessieCat changed the title to ☼ moodyblues78: The fight is on (Zoloft/Diazepam)

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