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Hopefull: suffering from PGAD


Hopefull

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I don't know about movies specifically Hopefull , but I've never been able to watch horror movies.   Yes , your system is still in "overdrive" and will find some

things intolerable that you previously enjoyed.

 

A shock to your system could , I guess , precipitate a wave.    Hoping it passes soon.

 

xxx

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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I can not watch scary movies now. I would have them in my head all the day now. Sometimes even without watching come to my mind scenes from horrors watched 10 years ago and I get panic attack.

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

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Hi Martina and Fresh,

 

 

I am so glad that I am not alone in this.  Thank you  for stoping by my thread. I can completely understand what you are going through Martina. How have you been anyway?  I can't watch anything upsetting even news. I was not like this before the meds. I think I am like this because my nervous system has been destabilised. I hope it will pass. Martina hang in there, things will get better! Fresh, thank you for your support. I am still hopeful. xo Hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hopefull ,   I had to stop watching "My Kitchen Rules"  because I could FEEL the panic of the contestants before they presented their meals !!

 

Try nature shows , or docos.    Get foxtel , lol.  

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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I am still not okay. In the work I can perform as I dont have to be so close to the people there. I am doing balances aso so it is more about numbers. For me the main problem always raises up when I am with the children. My depression already lifted but I have there this problem with intrusive thoughts and harm thoughts. I think there is too much glutamate by me. I beg the God that it goes away, so I can not imagine to live like this. But I am still struggling as I do not have another choice

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

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Omg, Fresh that is funny! :) I have been watching my kitchen rules and I actually find it relaxing! The whole family watches the show! I told my doctor yesterday that he should try taking the pills, quit cold turkey and see how that would make him feel! I wonder how he would feel getting panic attacks from watching tv!:)) He was not amused by my comment, but was polite. :)))) How are feeling Fresh? Who is your favorite on my kitchen rules? Xo hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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Martina I think that you are doing well by holding down a job. That is positive. Can you tolarate magnesium for anxietY or fish oil? Maybe it could help you if your nervous system is not sensitive to supplements. Fear can really tear you down, but you have to fight it. What ever you are fearing is not real and you are not that person. You are obviously a good human being. Hang in there. We will get you through this.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I haven't engaged in it this season Hopefull . . . I've been watching grown-up Marcia Brady and Chrissy Swan living in the jungle in  

"I'm a Celebrity , Get Me Out Of Here".

 

Thinking about the news , I remember clearly a period of around 18 months (1987?) when I couldn't watch the nightly news at all - it seemed filled with terrible , upsetting

things.   I had started working in the prison system at the time , so I thought my intolerance was related to that.

Now , I'm not so sure , makes more sense that it was connected to stopping pertofran and prothiaden , tricyclic ad's.

 

LOL @ you and your doc.    Wish I'd been a fly on the wall . . .

:D

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Hi lovley Fresh,

It is always nice to hear from you! I watched , "I am a celebrity get me out of here" My favorite was, Maureen McCormick. She was lovley and quirky. You probably were not able to watch upsetting things becausec of withdrawal from meds. But working in Prison, sure did not help. I hope you are doing well. Xo Zo. I am still hopefull things will work ok.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

Link to comment

Hi lovley Fresh,

It is always nice to hear from you! I watched , "I am a celebrity get me out of here" My favorite was, Maureen McCormick. She was lovley and quirky. You probably were not able to watch upsetting things becausec of withdrawal from meds. But working in Prison, sure did not help. I hope you are doing well. Xo Zo. I am still hopefull things will work ok.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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  • Moderator Emeritus

How's your taper going Hopefull?    Any more pickles on the forehead lately?   

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

Link to comment

Hi Fresh,

Lol! So far no more prickles in the head and you? It is going Ok. Some days are better than others. I have started a mindfulness course. That helps. How are you going with everything? Xo Hopefull. :)

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

Link to comment

I am having a really bad evening. My anxiety is through the roof! I feel terrible like there is no end to this. Not sure what to do anymore. I'm pro-active and I have asked for help and I feel that the professionals are not listening to me. I can't even cry propley anymore. I start to cry then my brain blocks it. Eversince ad's I have experienced weird andrenneline surges and at times of extreme anxiety I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin. I get horrible burning at the back of my head. I can feel good for couple hours than start to feel horrendous. I am really trying to push through but 16 months of this has taken its toll on me. I always try to be positive and write hopeful posts but I feel terrible. I really don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what is what. Is it the withdrawal or is it me? I have also noticed that I get chills or cold feeling sweep over me since being on mirtz. Is this common? I would love to go away somewhere where I can recover. But it is now possible.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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I've been there, funny thing about anxiety is one day it can seem unbearable and the next it's less bothersome. It can flip flop like that until it's on an even keel and starts to settle down.

 

When it's particularly bad, know that it can't stay that way indefinitely, it will eventually subside. When it's got a grip on you it feels as though there's no end in sight, as though it'll never abate but I can assure you it will.

 

Anxiety is caused by fear, and the fear causing your anxiety under the circumstances is unfounded.

 

F alse E vidence A ppearing R eal.

December 2008 Prescribed 20mg citalopram (celexa) for depression and OCD.July 2013 stopped taking citalopram (celexa). November 2013 reinstated citalopram (celexa) following replapse at 20mg for 4 weeks, 40mg for 4 weeks and tapered off over 4 weeks as my condition had deteriorated. February 2014 started 20mg of fluoxetine (prozac). Didn't tolerate it and stopped 4 weeks later, experienced no withdrawal. May 2014 started 25mg of sertraline (zoloft), increased to 50mg after 1 week. Remained at 50mg for 4 weeks before increasing to 100mg at the request of my psychiatrist despite advising of suicidal ideation for an additional week before stopping. Advised to drop to 50mg for 3 days before withdrawing altogether. I did as advised and horrendous withdrawal ensued. 11th August 2014 commenced escitalopram (lexapro), weaned off end of October 2014. Commenced Clonazepam December 2014 0.5mg twice daily, switched to Diazepam 10mg twice daily with a view to tapering of the benzodiazepine altogether. Tapering schedule presently at a reduction of 1mg of Diazepam every 1-2 weeks depending upon side effects. So far experienced no severe physical side effects except worsening of PGAD symptoms upon reduction which does seem to improve within a few days of doing so. Presently taking no antidepressants however still experiencing mild agitation, severe depression and PGAD which is currently being treated by a physiotherapist.

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Hope you get some rest bite soon, I know just how exhausting and mentally draining it can be.

December 2008 Prescribed 20mg citalopram (celexa) for depression and OCD.July 2013 stopped taking citalopram (celexa). November 2013 reinstated citalopram (celexa) following replapse at 20mg for 4 weeks, 40mg for 4 weeks and tapered off over 4 weeks as my condition had deteriorated. February 2014 started 20mg of fluoxetine (prozac). Didn't tolerate it and stopped 4 weeks later, experienced no withdrawal. May 2014 started 25mg of sertraline (zoloft), increased to 50mg after 1 week. Remained at 50mg for 4 weeks before increasing to 100mg at the request of my psychiatrist despite advising of suicidal ideation for an additional week before stopping. Advised to drop to 50mg for 3 days before withdrawing altogether. I did as advised and horrendous withdrawal ensued. 11th August 2014 commenced escitalopram (lexapro), weaned off end of October 2014. Commenced Clonazepam December 2014 0.5mg twice daily, switched to Diazepam 10mg twice daily with a view to tapering of the benzodiazepine altogether. Tapering schedule presently at a reduction of 1mg of Diazepam every 1-2 weeks depending upon side effects. So far experienced no severe physical side effects except worsening of PGAD symptoms upon reduction which does seem to improve within a few days of doing so. Presently taking no antidepressants however still experiencing mild agitation, severe depression and PGAD which is currently being treated by a physiotherapist.

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Hi Broken,

it is true. Anxiety can be crippling one minute and berable the next. I can be good one minute and horrendous the next. How are you? How are you? Have you started acupuncture? Thank you for your support.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

Link to comment

I am experiencing horrible anxiety tonight again. This is truly mental torture. I know how I was before the meds and how I am now. The worst part is that I can feel good for a while and then back to square one. I don't normally ask directly for reassurance, but right now I really need one. Have other people experienced anxiety to the point where you feel your chest will explode. Wave of anxiety that lasts couple of hours than slowly subside. ( Anxiety Attack). Feeling like you are about to loose control , your mind, but it is not a full blown panic attack. I get andrenilin surges mainly without heart palpitations. The andrenilin surges feel like your arms and chest are on fire and the back of my head burns like its on fire. I know what a normal panic attack feels like but what I have been experiencing for the last 16 months does not feel like normal panic attacks. I have complained to the doctors for so long and I feel I am being ignored. I am mentally exsausted with all the extra baggage the meds have given me. I constantly think about how I was before all of this happened to me. I had my issues but that was picnic compared to this. I really try to be positive for me and for the sake of my family. But sometimes it is extremely hard. Sometimes I am tempted to try Pristiq as suggested by my doctor. If I did not have these dreadful andrenilin surges and panic attacks, I feel like I could deal with everything else much better. If these andrenilin surges are panic attacks , then why does it feel different. I don't always get heart palpitations when I get surges. I am sorry to keep going on about this but this is my biggest issue at the moment.

 

 

I feel good than bam, here we go again. I can't take supplements to ease the anxiety/ withdrawal symptoms. I don't like to take benzos , I have not taken one since January. That makes me feel worse the next day.

I am seeing a nero psychologist soon and I hope he can help me. Is emotional numbness part of withdrawal symptoms? The weird thing is that sometimes I can cry and othertimes I feel like my brain is blocked. I am upset and

I need to cry, but I can't. It is like my normal self comes back temporarily, then goes away. I sometimes worry about whether I am going to recover from this mess. I count the days until I get off Mitrazapine and I am fearful what lies ahead , after Mitrazapine. I know that I can only take one day at the time and still hope for the best. For the sake of my family, friends whom Iove very much.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hopefull it's a wave , you know it will pass.    You've been dealing with this a long time now , and they always finish.

Is there anything you can try and busy yourself with until it settles?

Do you ever make yourself be still and listen to relaxation tracks?

I know you hate the mirt. but it's just not worth trying to get off it too quickly if it makes things so much worse.

Do you find it gets worse after the kids go to bed?

(sorry for the inquisition)

 

xxx

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Don't know what else to say but to ride it out. It's all you can do really, I'd try avoiding any other drugs If you can.

 

If you had to choose between a benzo or antipsychotic, I'd take the benzo but only if you absolutely have to. I felt groggy for the first week on clonazepam but that side effect doesn't last. 0.25mg might just be enough to help take the edge of perhaps but if you can manage to beat this without any additional drugs that's clearly the way forward.

December 2008 Prescribed 20mg citalopram (celexa) for depression and OCD.July 2013 stopped taking citalopram (celexa). November 2013 reinstated citalopram (celexa) following replapse at 20mg for 4 weeks, 40mg for 4 weeks and tapered off over 4 weeks as my condition had deteriorated. February 2014 started 20mg of fluoxetine (prozac). Didn't tolerate it and stopped 4 weeks later, experienced no withdrawal. May 2014 started 25mg of sertraline (zoloft), increased to 50mg after 1 week. Remained at 50mg for 4 weeks before increasing to 100mg at the request of my psychiatrist despite advising of suicidal ideation for an additional week before stopping. Advised to drop to 50mg for 3 days before withdrawing altogether. I did as advised and horrendous withdrawal ensued. 11th August 2014 commenced escitalopram (lexapro), weaned off end of October 2014. Commenced Clonazepam December 2014 0.5mg twice daily, switched to Diazepam 10mg twice daily with a view to tapering of the benzodiazepine altogether. Tapering schedule presently at a reduction of 1mg of Diazepam every 1-2 weeks depending upon side effects. So far experienced no severe physical side effects except worsening of PGAD symptoms upon reduction which does seem to improve within a few days of doing so. Presently taking no antidepressants however still experiencing mild agitation, severe depression and PGAD which is currently being treated by a physiotherapist.

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Thank you Broken and Fresh.

I get worse at night. I tend to be ok during the day, but get worse at night. But then some nights are ok. I started practising mindfulness it can help sometimes. I am feeling a bit better this morning. I just have to go with the flow.

 

 

How is everything with the both of you? Thank you for being there for me. :)

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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hello hopefull . . .

 

thanks for taking a bit of time to post on my intro. thread . . . it was so nice of you.  :)

 

hey . . . your butterfly avatar is beautiful . . . stunning really.

 

peace to you and yours,

 

glina

mirtazapine (remeron) since 2000 (15 years);

withdrawing VERY SLOWLY since 2013;

current dose withdrawing from: 15mgs/day (from 2013 top dose of 45mgs/day);

various other "mind" medications prescribed 2000-2012--have withdrawn from those prescribed long term, had quite bad reactions to the others early on and they were stopped soon enough that withdrawal was difficult but limited.

 

 

 

"If you're going through hell, keep going."    Winston Churchill  

 

 

 

 

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Hi Glina,

Thank you. I love it too. Hopefully by the time we are finished, we will be beautiful butterflies again. It is meant to be hopeful. How are you doing? Thank you for stopping by my thread. Cheers. :)

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

I have experienced a bit of a set back.

My anxiety got so bad last night, I caved in and took I took a benzo. I have not had one since January. I know that this was a bad choice and I am paying for it today. More anxiety, crying. I hope I have not set back my recovery.

It is obvious that I am still sensitive to things. I still don't understand how ad's make you sensitive to things that you were previously ok. with? Once you develop it, is for life?

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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  • Moderator Emeritus

That's no good Hopefull.    

Sometimes just a tiny dose of a benzo can have the desired effect , without the fallout.  I've taken Ativan a couple of

times , and split half a mg into 3 bits , and it's enough.   Like being a cheap drunk hey?

Did the anxiety last night have anything to do with a recent decrease?

 

:blush:

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Hi Fresh,

I did not think of that. I took the last one last night. It was expired by one month. I was so desperate. My OCD has kicked in. I am bracing my self. I was actually feeling good for the last couple of days, then yesterday I felt anxiety creep in.

This is mentality exausting. Sorry for the gloomy post. I saw a doctor today and he doesn't prescribe benzos. Not sure how I am going to get through the night. Thank you Fresh for your support and for stopping by my thread. I hope things are good with you. I am trying to be hopeful. Sending you best wishes.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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Hopefull, I responded to you on my thread.. And I just read up a little on inositol.. Very awesome and interesting! Cheers :)

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Thanks Ashbash. I sent you a PM. Cheers, :)

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Feeling a bit better today Hopefull?

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Hi Fresh,

A bit better. I will not take another bbenzo. How about you, how are you feeling? :)

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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Hi Fresh,

A bit better. I will not take another bbenzo. How about you, how are you feeling? :)

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm hunky dory Hopefull.      

I have some things going on , so won't decrease again for 2 weeks (in case I get symptoms).   Mind you , last decrease

I had zero w/d symptoms , so I just have to wait and see what the next one will be like.   It's all a mystery  :D .

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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That is great! That device must be doing something! I am happy for you.

:)

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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It was a difficult choice to take another pill, I'm sorry you felt so bad and hope you feel better again soon. Anxiety at night is the worst, going for a walk sometimes helps me, if I'm feeling overwhelmed just crying until I'm exhausted is another method that removes the anxiety. Also do you use white noise? It is great for decreasing anxiety, can't imagine sleeping without it.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

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Hi tjs19,

 

What is white noise?

Thank you for stopping by my thread.

I am feeling better now. I practice mindfulness before going to sleep. It helps. It must be withdrawal symptoms. No more benzos for me.

I have noticed that even small cuts can give you wd symptoms. Not straight away but 3_4 weeks later. Than I feel bad for a while. Then slowly improve. It must mean that I am slowly healing and my brain can function without drugs. I feel hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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  • 2 weeks later...

Great! The delayed reaction must be annoying, but at least you've figured it out such that you only take small cuts.

 

White noise is background noise like "rainfall," "ocean tide," and other sounds that help drown out a lot of other stuff that can be really distracting, especially with the brain in a fragile state. It's really soothing for me - there are a whole series of Youtube videos that play different kinds of white noise, it really can help me focus at work and help me fall asleep at night.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

Link to comment

Hi Tjs19,

 

I have been listening to white noise videos on YouTube.

It really helps to calm my anxious mind.

Thank you for the suggestion.

Now I worry about radiation from my phone to my head! Lol! :)))))

How are you doing?

Someone posted a video in Symptoms and Selfcare about Dr Road Peers from Melbourne, treating patients with anxiety disorder with Inositol.

I have managed to track him down and I am seeing him on Thursday.

Wish me luck. Hopefully I have found a dr that can help me.

Let you know how I go. Hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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