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Hopefull

Hopefull: suffering from PGAD

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Hopefull
6 hours ago, PH1 said:

Great job, Hopeful!!!   You've been doing it right.   God bless you in this next chapter!

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words!  Take care,  and God bless you too. 💜

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Flowers

Wonderful news Hopefull!

 

I wish you well in your next stage of this journey without the drug. Well done!

 

Flowers xxx

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Hopefull
17 minutes ago, Flowers said:

Wonderful news Hopefull!

 

I wish you well in your next stage of this journey without the drug. Well done!

 

Flowers xxx

 

Thank you Flowers!  Wishing you all the best with your tapering journey.  💜

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Steve61

That’s great news that you are drug free. Congratulations !! It always gives me hope and encouragement to see somebody finally reach the end of their long taper. Thank you for sharing.

Steve

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Hopefull
18 hours ago, Steve61 said:

That’s great news that you are drug free. Congratulations !! It always gives me hope and encouragement to see somebody finally reach the end of their long taper. Thank you for sharing.

Steve

Thank you Steve. I am glad that I can give people hope to persevere. 

Take care, Hopefull. :)

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Hopefull
17 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Thank you so much Altostrata. Thank you for creating this support community. 

I have come a long way. Still adjusting, not sleeping that well, but at least anxiety level last night was much better. 

I will read through the links and see what might help me to settle at night.

Take care,

Hopefull. :)

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Dejavu

Hopefull, how are you getting along these days? Are you up to posting an update?

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Hopefull
47 minutes ago, Dejavu said:

Hopefull, how are you getting along these days? Are you up to posting an update?

Hi Dejavu,

How are you? 

I am doing good.  It has been 2 weeks since I got off Mirt.

I am fine during the day,  not sleeping very well,  since I have stopped Mirt. I experience a bit more anxiety towards the evening.  I have cut down on sugar, but I can't see that it has made me feel any better. I am trying to be more mindful about what I eat. 

I do get slight WDS, but I know that all of that will eventually pass.

I am waiting for the weight to start dropping off,  so far I can't tell. 

It has only been 2 weeks,  so I can't expect much.

The weight gain from meds is bothering me. It is like a reminder of what I have gone through. 

I have been walking with couple of friends, and I am going to join a gym soon, to get back into shape. 

I will keep updating to give other people hope. So far it has been pretty good.

Thank you for stopping by my thread. 

Cheers, Hopefull.  :)

 

 

 

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Dejavu

That's so wonderful to hear! I have followed your thread and you are a real inspiration to me. I know your sleep will improve soon. Do you take any melatonin? It has been my saving grace. 

 

The weight will come off. And the more you exercise, the more you will want to exercise. Cutting sugar is huge. I lost 45 pounds that way.

 

I am struggling right now with stabilization after reinstatement and I'm in a tough wave right now. I had mild PGAD symptoms a couple of months ago for 2 days. Yesterday it came back a little more strongly. Its really got me worried. I know you say you had it and it went away. Is it still gone or do you get symptoms? When you had it, did it come and go in waves or was it nonstop miserable the whole time you had it? I could certainly use some reassurance. I'm having to take an rx steroid eye drop right now and its caused my anxiety to go through the roof during this wave. As a result I'm thinking  very negatively at the moment, using the "p" word ("permanent") a lot.

 

I know that you're headed toward a bright future and I don't want to trigger you, but if you feel you can, could you please keep updating your progress? Seems most people jump, then disappear until they sometimes show up on the success story thread, which is understandable. This is a very traumatic thing to go through. But because of that, very little is known about what goes on in between jump and healing. I completely understand if you don't feel you can or should stay in contact on here, but if you choose to do so, it would really help a lot of people, myself included.

 

Anyway, I am so happy that you are near the end of this journey. Blessings and best wishes for the wonderful life ahead. Hugs!!!

 

 

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Hopefull
On 3/11/2019 at 11:09 AM, Dejavu said:

That's so wonderful to hear! I have followed your thread and you are a real inspiration to me. I know your sleep will improve soon. Do you take any melatonin? It has been my saving grace. 

 

The weight will come off. And the more you exercise, the more you will want to exercise. Cutting sugar is huge. I lost 45 pounds that way.

 

I am struggling right now with stabilization after reinstatement and I'm in a tough wave right now. I had mild PGAD symptoms a couple of months ago for 2 days. Yesterday it came back a little more strongly. Its really got me worried. I know you say you had it and it went away. Is it still gone or do you get symptoms? When you had it, did it come and go in waves or was it nonstop miserable the whole time you had it? I could certainly use some reassurance. I'm having to take an rx steroid eye drop right now and its caused my anxiety to go through the roof during this wave. As a result I'm thinking  very negatively at the moment, using the "p" word ("permanent") a lot.

 

I know that you're headed toward a bright future and I don't want to trigger you, but if you feel you can, could you please keep updating your progress? Seems most people jump, then disappear until they sometimes show up on the success story thread, which is understandable. This is a very traumatic thing to go through. But because of that, very little is known about what goes on in between jump and healing. I completely understand if you don't feel you can or should stay in contact on here, but if you choose to do so, it would really help a lot of people, myself included.

 

Anyway, I am so happy that you are near the end of this journey. Blessings and best wishes for the wonderful life ahead. Hugs!!!

 

 

 Hi Dejavu,

Sorry for the delayed reply.  How are you? Thank you for your kind words,  I am glad that I can help others to get through this difficult process of weaning of these damn drugs.

Don't panic if you occasionally get PGAD flare ups. It is bound to happen sometimes until it eventually goes away. 

It is not permanent,  because you have "window", periods.  PGAD flare ups is common. It happened to me as well.

 

Be careful with suppliments too and note what are your triggers.

Stress can bring it on too. It is very traumatic to go through this process,  but you can do it. Everyone has the power in them selves to really dig deep and get through the difficult situation. 

No one is better or tougher than someone else. At the moment I love listening to Lauren Ostrowski Fenton on You Tube. She is an Australian councelor amd has a meditation chanel. It has helped with my anxiety. Let me know what you think. Everyone has the strength within themselves to persevere in the times of difficulty,  it is only a matter of choice.  Stay focused and believe in yourself and have faith and hope. My kids were my strength and I choose to fight for my kids and family. 

I can't say that since I have gotten off Mitrazapine, I am still not 100% me. But I can laugh and joke, like I used to, I caught a glimpse of my old self the other day.  I thought I must be slowly coming back to the factory setting. Lol!

 My brain plays up from time to time,  that is expected. 

I try not to beat myself over it. My sleep could be better,  I might try melatonin suppliment.  Does it help with anxiety? I do enjoy not having to think or take Mitrazapine on daily basis, or think about getting a script and pharmacy shopping,  feeling like a drug addict.

I kind of expected the weight to dramatically drop off me, but so far only minor changes and at least my undies are not too thight any more. Lol! :)

I will keep you posted with my progress. Have a great day, 

Take care, 

Hopefull.❤️

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Dejavu

@Hopefull, thank you so so so much for your message! I need it now like you wouldn't believe. I'm still not stable 4.5 months after reinstatement and I'm so afraid I never will be. Only having partial and very brief windows and symptoms I haven't had in months are coming back. I'm so tired and I don't want to fight anymore. When I wake up, I'm disappointed that I'm still alive. Sorry to be such a downer. 

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Vonnegutjunky

I also had an adverse reaction to my meds. I am slowly tapering. 

 

Just wanted to say your thread has given me a lot of hope! Thank you 🙏 

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Hopefull
On 3/21/2019 at 4:53 PM, Vonnegutjunky said:

I also had an adverse reaction to my meds. I am slowly tapering. 

 

Just wanted to say your thread has given me a lot of hope! Thank you 🙏 

 

You are most welcome.  You will get better,  but unfortunately,  it does take time.  Keep going and don't give up. 

Best wishes,  Hopefull. :)

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Hopefull

It has been almost 3 months since I got off Mirt.

I really thought my life would be so much better. 

But I still have not lost the weight that I have gained from Mirt.

It is really bothering me now. I kind of expected it to start dropping off me, but so far nothing. 

Has this happened to anyone else? 

Sorry if this sounds trivial /petty. I know some people are going through hell right now. But this weight thing is bothering me,  especially because I just want to be "me"  again. 

 

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Dejavu

It doesn't sound trivial at all. It is soooo wrong that we have to deal with the consequences of taking this rat poison for so long after stopping it. You have every right to live the life you want, especially after such a long, hard-fought battle to regain your health. I am sorry the weight loss is taking so long.

 

Have you been able to lose any weight at all? Perhaps an endocrinologist could help you jump start your metabolism again. 

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marie123

Hi Hopeful. It doesn't sound trivial to me at all. Lately I lost some weight. I had dental work where I had to eat a soft diet for a couple weeks. That helped. I also started going back to the gym and some more of the weight came off. So I'm on a roll lol. You can lose weight just start small and get a bit of exercise, walking is great. I gained lots of weight from mirt/ambien/trazodone. I tried on some clothes that were way to tight and was able to zip them now finally. These meds ruin our body. I feel better and better the less meds are floating around my system. The fastest way to lose weight is to lower carbs I've found. Don't give up, you will be "you" again.

 

Marie

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Hopefull
On 5/16/2019 at 4:05 PM, Dejavu said:

It doesn't sound trivial at all. It is soooo wrong that we have to deal with the consequences of taking this rat poison for so long after stopping it. You have every right to live the life you want, especially after such a long, hard-fought battle to regain your health. I am sorry the weight loss is taking so long.

 

Have you been able to lose any weight at all? Perhaps an endocrinologist could help you jump start your metabolism again. 

 

Hi Dejavu,

Thank you for stopping by. 

My stomach has gone down a bit.  I dont look as bloated. I have not gained any more weight,  I am just stuck in the middle, not feeling like me. I feel these drugs have stuffed up my body. I have gained weight around my tummy and I didn't have it before meds. It has gone down a bit,  but not how I was. I feel a bit petty, considering where I was mentally  5 years ago. But just want to weight to go, so I can feel like my old self. Honestly,  I feel like mirt has deformed my body.

I am going to see my doctor and have some blood work done. 

Maybe in couple of months time,  my weight might start to shift.

Is mirt still in my system after almost 3 months? 

Thank you for your support.  I hope that you are doing well. 

Xo 

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Hopefull
12 hours ago, marie123 said:

Hi Hopeful. It doesn't sound trivial to me at all. Lately I lost some weight. I had dental work where I had to eat a soft diet for a couple weeks. That helped. I also started going back to the gym and some more of the weight came off. So I'm on a roll lol. You can lose weight just start small and get a bit of exercise, walking is great. I gained lots of weight from mirt/ambien/trazodone. I tried on some clothes that were way to tight and was able to zip them now finally. These meds ruin our body. I feel better and better the less meds are floating around my system. The fastest way to lose weight is to lower carbs I've found. Don't give up, you will be "you" again.

 

Marie

 

Hi Marie,

I am really happy for you that you have managed to lose weight after meds.

I found being on mirt has made me put on weight around my tummy. Did this happen to you? I had to wear loose tops, to cover my tummy, because I looked like I was 3 months pregnant.  Before mirt, my tummy was flat. I could wear fitted clothing.  I am hoping things will settle down in time. 

Thank you for your support.  Xo

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marie123

Oh yes bloated belly for sure. You only looked 3 months pregnant, but I looked 6 months pregnant. It's called benzo belly in the benzo world, but I've found it happens with AD's too. Sometimes I can literally watch my belly "blow up" if I eat the wrong food (usually lots of carbs). Some of the weight is edema weight which I've gotten in my ankles, knees, wrists, etc. (water weight). This comes from remeron along with the trazodone I was taking. I bought lots of sweatpants and bigger tops and stopped weighing myself. I knew I had to get through the ambien/traz w/d first and take a rest before the next taper. During this time feeling a little better I got some exercise and started noticing a difference, so I'm going to keep going. I was waiting for a time I could push myself to start living more normally.  I'll see if I can continue during a slow taper off rem. Listen, you've done a remarkable job stopping zoloft and remeron. That's no easy feat. Use that determination to lose the weight.

 

Marie.

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Hopefull
16 hours ago, marie123 said:

Oh yes bloated belly for sure. You only looked 3 months pregnant, but I looked 6 months pregnant. It's called benzo belly in the benzo world, but I've found it happens with AD's too. Sometimes I can literally watch my belly "blow up" if I eat the wrong food (usually lots of carbs). Some of the weight is edema weight which I've gotten in my ankles, knees, wrists, etc. (water weight). This comes from remeron along with the trazodone I was taking. I bought lots of sweatpants and bigger tops and stopped weighing myself. I knew I had to get through the ambien/traz w/d first and take a rest before the next taper. During this time feeling a little better I got some exercise and started noticing a difference, so I'm going to keep going. I was waiting for a time I could push myself to start living more normally.  I'll see if I can continue during a slow taper off rem. Listen, you've done a remarkable job stopping zoloft and remeron. That's no easy feat. Use that determination to lose the weight.

 

Marie.

 

Hi Marie,

Mitrazapine tends to "puff", you up.

It is all the fluffy, puffy, weight. 

I guess it takes a while to de-puff, lol! :)

How are you doing with the Mirt taper?

Thank you for your advice. 

I am going to start walking more. I used to walk a lot,  it helped to get my mind off things.  

By the end of this year, hopefully,  I will feel like myself again. 

Take care,

Hopefull. :)

 

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marie123

Hi Hopefull. I haven't started yet, but in the next few months depending how I'm feeling. I think it will be some time in June. It will be 4 months from traz at that point. I'm going slow, slow, slow at the start. Mirt has a long half life and I don't want w/d to pile up. I'll get a good feel for the taper at no more than 5% monthly, and then hopefully adjust to bigger cuts if I can. Yeah, fluffy and puffy is mirt weight. My ankles and knees are better after traz, not as puffy with water retention, does't hurt much.

 

Marie

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Hopefull
On 5/19/2019 at 3:14 AM, marie123 said:

Hi Hopefull. I haven't started yet, but in the next few months depending how I'm feeling. I think it will be some time in June. It will be 4 months from traz at that point. I'm going slow, slow, slow at the start. Mirt has a long half life and I don't want w/d to pile up. I'll get a good feel for the taper at no more than 5% monthly, and then hopefully adjust to bigger cuts if I can. Yeah, fluffy and puffy is mirt weight. My ankles and knees are better after traz, not as puffy with water retention, does't hurt much.

 

Marie

Congratulations for getting off Traz. It is tricky tappering off Mitrzapine. I used to get a script for SolTab, and it got discontinued towards the end of my taper.

Good luck with tappering off Mirr. I am sure that you will do well.

Take care, Hopefull . :)

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