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Sunnydays0912: scared to taper from Lexapro and Seroquel. Help!


sunnydays0912

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  • Administrator

It's very possible your symptoms are iatrogenic (drug-caused).

 

Unfortunately, even if he could refer you to a psychiatrist, the advice you'd get is not likely to be much better. Doctors simply do not know enough about these drugs to prescribe them safely.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I know, and I looked up the list of psychiatrists who support Withdrawal Syndrome and none are even remotely close to me. I figure it has to be understandable that doing anything without a doctors guidance is scary. But if a doctor only leads you to more pain unknowingly, then there's no point in them I suppose. It's just so hard to believe!

 

Also, frustrating enough, my mood swings do affect how I view this. When I'm feeling lighter, more confident, I think I can do this on my own and confident tapering off all drugs is the answer. Then I feel lower and lose confidence and think no, this is all too much for me, I need to seek professional help.

 

It's quite frustrating.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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You alone have had those feelings. There has to be a pill to fix it :)

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Also, frustrating enough, my mood swings do affect how I view this. When I'm feeling lighter, more confident, I think I can do this on my own and confident tapering off all drugs is the answer. Then I feel lower and lose confidence and think no, this is all too much for me, I need to seek professional help.

 

It's quite frustrating.

 

I have exactly the same problem with mood swings.  Its like there are two of me. 

 

What I have learned to do is to ignore myself when I'm feeling bad.  What I mean is I ignore my thoughts, realizing that they are not real but are being influenced by withdrawal symptoms.  There's often not much I can do when I'm feeling bad, but I certainly don't make decisions at that time.

 

You can do this, if you take it one step at a time.  But plan to take those steps during the times you are feeling confident.

 

I've spent a lot of time reading stories on this site and so far, I haven't found one account of anyone getting any real help from a 'professional' with regard to tapering off this kind of medication.  The best I've seen is cooperation.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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So I saw my therapist again for the 2nd time. It's been about 3 weeks since I last saw her. I explained what my dr told me to do and told her my issues with it. Told her I think I just want to get off all medication and see how I do. She strongly, strongly disagreed! She said that she agrees with me that my goal should be to get off medication, but she said now is not the time. She explained how she does not believe MOST cases of depression are caused by chemical imbalances, simply because most cases are a result of a period of extreme stress in ones life. So she agrees I do not need medication because my depression has always come in times of extreme stress, which is true.

 

However, she said right now I am not in a mental state to stop medication. I need to stabilize first. And once stabilized, I need to work on my triggers, which are major life changes and anxiety from that. And then once my life settles down, I'm feeling confident in my stable state, THEN I should taper medication very slowly. Because when I'm in good spirits and mood, and taper verrrry slowly, my brain will learn to replace good spirits and mood. If I taper while I'm feeling horrible, my brain very likely will follow suit.

 

That's my understanding of what she said, anyway. And was actually my plan before my lexapro pooped out. I do have a lot, lot of stress in my life right now. And we are moving again in about a year. I get severe anxiety with environment changes.

 

She was very convincing, and made it clear that she is so against me getting off medication right now that she doesn't even know how to help me if I decide to. She does not see it going well.

 

I think I need a day or 2 to really think about this. And talk to my husband. This is all too much...

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

If you are under a lot of stress at the moment and there is more coming in the near future, then perhaps its not the best time to be considering tapering off medication.  You want to give yourself the best possible chance being successful and being able to minimize stress goes a long way to helping with a successful taper.

 

If you have the option of putting it off for a year, while you get your life more settled, then I see that as something to consider.  You have to decide what is best for you, we will be here for support, whatever you decide.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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If you are under a lot of stress at the moment and there is more coming in the near future, then perhaps its not the best time to be considering tapering off medication.  You want to give yourself the best possible chance being successful and being able to minimize stress goes a long way to helping with a successful taper.

 

If you have the option of putting it off for a year, while you get your life more settled, then I see that as something to consider.  You have to decide what is best for you, we will be here for support, whatever you decide.

Thank you. I do have a lot of stress right now. We moved to an area I've never been before so my husband can finish going to school and get his business degree. This means extremely long hours for him with no income. So finances are extremely tight, my house and kids are entirely reliant on me, I'm struggling to adjust to the new area, miss my family like crazy, don't know anyone, and I stupidly tried to change my medication in the midst of all of this just starting. Oh, and having to open my home up and give up one of my kids bedrooms for my husbands 16 year old brother who's been making bad choices in life. He moved in at the worst possible time, which is what caused my Lexapro to totally poop out and I fell into that severe depressed state.

 

I have to deal with all this, plus who knows how much more, for the next year and a half (the "and half" part kills me. Just one year sounds so much more doable right now). And then once my husband graduates, we pack up and move again to a new area again for him to start his new job he already has lined up. So another major life change. New area. New people. Ah! Oh, and he has a 3 month internship this summer at the company he will be working for. Meaning he will be living there for 3 months. My only support system will be gone.

 

During all of this worrying about coming off meds, I forgot about all of what's happening in my life and the responsibilities I have now and coming. I haven't decided yet, because the thought of switching over to Prozac scares the crap out of me. Maybe noes not the time to taper, but I don't like the alternative that much either. I just want to be happy :(

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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for me there was one book that explained it all to me and I finally could make sense of what had happened to me. it was Rober Whitaker's "Anatomy of Epidemic". Since you are so confused, I advise you to read it. it really explains all the mechanics.

in 2002- 0,5 tablet cipramil for half a year, ended it uneventfully. in 2006 - citalopram for half a year, ended in horrific state, ditched the drugs CT. 2007-2008 not feeling well but drug free. in 2008 prozac 20mg + quetiapine 25mg. 2009 tried to stop, ended up in hole after couple of months, started zoloft. 2009-2011 zoloft 50mg. went to 25mg in 2011 summer, it resulted in half a year horrible suffering. reinstated, changed drugs, nothing happened. by 2012 beginning suddenly felt great and CT meds. after 4 months came suddenly most horrible human suffering that's possible. was started on prozac and questiapine. started tapering slowly, GFCF diet and Hardy Nutritionals vitamins in 2013 summer. 

current medications: 1) fluoxetine and quetiapine since Aug 2012; 2) Daily Essential Nutrients by Hardy Nutritionals 7 capsules / since May 2013 + omega3; 3) Gluten-free-casein-free diet since june 2013

Started withdrawing slowly since april 2013. Mostly around 10% cuts. 

April'13 - March'14: fluoxetine 40mg -> 19,5mg; quetiapine 50mg -> 40mg
April'14-March'15: fluoxetine 19,5mg -> 14,4mg; quetiapine 40mg -> 22mg

April'15-March'16: fluoxetine 14,4mg -> 7,4mg; quetiapine 22mg -> 15mg

April'16-March'17: fluoxetine 7,4mg -> 5,0mg; quetiapine 15mg -> 7,25mg

April'17-March'18: fluoxetine 5,0mg -> 4,0mg; quetiapine 7,25mg -> 0 (as of 1st Feb 2018)!!!!

April´18-March´19: fluoxetine 4,0mg - > 2,3mg. Jumped off fluoxetine 1,4mg due to pregnancy in July 2019. Oct 2019 severe withdrawal syndrome started.

Took mistakenly a complex for hormonal support that included pregnenolone dec2019-april2020. Stopped it april 2020 and immediately severe akathisia started. Have had life threatening akathisia since, 100% disabled, suicidal, very hard to hold on. 

 

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  • Administrator

You do not need to switch to Prozac. Why are you worrying about that?

 

In general, you've been overthinking, second-guessing, and worrying a lot about tapering.

 

Your therapist is correct in that you need to learn some coping skills. However, there is never an ideal time to taper. You will never feel perfect.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I'm so confused because I want to make the best decision for my current situation. I feel I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I know tapering will be hard, especially in my current mental state. If tapering ends up making me feel worse than I have been these last God awful 4 months, I don't know if I can keep my sanity in check. The last 4 months of dealing with the stress and pain of messing with my medication has left me hanging on a string. And I have 2 small faces that are constant reminders of how f***** up I am now because I can't feel love for them. It's like there is a constant dagger stabbing deeper and deeper into me as more time passes that I feel almost nothing for these little people who used to give my life so much meaning and happiness. If I taper slowly, that means I'm bound to stay feeling like this for months and more, only hoping my brain will eventually respond and feel the void that's constantly killing me.

 

If I go on Prozac, maybe it will work like Lexapro did. Maybe it will bring me back to at least some of who I used to be. And then maybe tapering from a stable, happy state will better my chances of recovery. My therapist really got into my head with that point. But either way has it's pros and cons. If ever I wish I had a crystal ball, now is it.

 

I'm sorry for the back and forth. I'm just scared of making yet another wrong move.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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  • Administrator

Every time you switch drugs, it is stressful for your nervous system. If you've already experienced the stress of withdrawal symptoms, your nervous system is all the more vulnerable.

 

Switch at your own risk. Our nervous systems are not made of rubber.

 

You also seem to believe that antidepressants make you a happy person. In a sense, you're hooked on them, or at least hooked on this fantasy. Quite often, after people have injured their nervous systems by withdrawal syndrome or wear out their serotonin receptors with poop-out, they can never go back to the Eden on antidepressants. The drugs simply do not continue to have the same effect.

 

You will find many doctors and therapists will then say you're "treatment-resistant" and need escalated interventions such as electro-convulsive therapy.

 

For many, psychiatric treatment is an endless merry-go-round that, after a while, becomes nothing but iatrogenic misery.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Every time you switch drugs, it is stressful for your nervous system. If you've already experienced the stress of withdrawal symptoms, your nervous system is all the more vulnerable.Switch at your own risk. Our nervous systems are not made of rubber.You also seem to believe that antidepressants make you a happy person. In a sense, you're hooked on them, or at least hooked on this fantasy. Quite often, after people have injured their nervous systems by withdrawal syndrome or wear out their serotonin receptors with poop-out, they can never go back to the Eden on antidepressants. The drugs simply do not continue to have the same effect.You will find many doctors and therapists will then say you're "treatment-resistant" and need escalated interventions such as electro-convulsive therapy.For many, psychiatric treatment is an endless merry-go-round that, after a while, becomes nothing but iatrogenic misery.

I totally see that now and agree. When I was first experiencing WD and start up symptoms, I believed I needed to go to a mental hospital and be put on any number of medications to correct my misery. I didn't want to, but felt that was my only option. My lack of information and ignorance led me to believe psychiatric medications are harmless and only help, despite some scary start up side affects. Which is why I was so ok with starting the seroquel. The seroquel did bring me out of the horrible place I was in, and then caused me to fall into a different kind of depression. One I truly believe was iatrogenic.

 

That all being said, my quality of life is not well. At all. Coming off the seroquel has definitely helped, thank goodness. I'm progressively feeling better with every day as I shrink the tiny piece of pill left every night. And so this makes me think, maybe tapering the Lexapro will continue this upward slope?

 

And the Lexapro didn't make me happy. It allowed me to be myself. When I was dealing with PPD and anxiety after I had my son, I was really suffering. Lexapro, though gave me a nightmare starting up, eventually brought me back to life and I was able to be my normal self again and be the mom I wanted to be. So it's not like I was in this constant state of utopia, I was just normal with normal emotions and reactions and appropriately sad when I needed to be and mad when I needed to be. But also able to fully experience and enjoy the good in life and fall in love with being a mother.

 

If I was guaranteed coming off all medication would get me back to my normal self again, I'd do it in a heart beat. But if I continue as I am now? I would fall into an extreme depression because of grievance over not being able to be the way I'm meant to be. Not trying to be dramatic, but I think it's ridiculous for someone to want to so badly just be normal and not be allowed to have that.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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I have noticed a theme in your writing, Miss Sunny Days. "I just want to be happy." I think for some of us with family members who have significant mental illness, we feel a need to make sure we stay happy and handle our problems in a "responsible" way. I felt a great need to be a responsible patient with depression and, thanks to playing with drugs, a responsible patient with bipolar. But in reality, we need to go through hard times to develop fully, and we are still valuable members of the human race when we're angry, or sad, or anxious instead of happy. You surely expect your kids to endure unhappiness, they would be spoiled, immature brats otherwise. Being old enough to be your mom, I can say that a life dedicated to the pursuit of happiness alone will fall far short of its potential...and yet I still wish life could always be happy.

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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  • Administrator

You  cannot step in the same river twice. Time has passed, your life is different, you are no longer responding to antidepressants the way you used to, and, right now, the drugs are adversely affecting your life.

 

Currently, iatrogenic effects are making you feel lousy, and it may take some time for this to alleviate.

 

No one, not even the most expensive psychiatrist in the world, can predict what your future will be like either on or off drugs.

 

All you can do is listen to your body and do what you think is right for you.

 

Since your questions have to do with guarantees about your future, I don't have much more to add. You will have to make the decisions for yourself. You know where the Lexapro tapering topic is. If you decide to taper, please review it carefully and taper slowly.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I appreciate all the help so much!

 

I'm definitely glad to be much more educated in the way medications work.

 

I, annoyingly, still don't know what I'm going to do. I'm almost totally off the seroquel so I need to decide what to do soon. If I'm not feeling better by May when my husband leaves for 3 months, I'm really afraid how I will react. He's my only support system out here and when he leaves for even just a night, I feel myself falling apart. My therapist is so against me getting off meds right now so I don't know how much she will help me if I do. But I don't want to take Prozac if my CNS is weak and damaged right now.

 

I had a dream last night that my kids were being taken away from me. I think my subconscious has a fear that if I don't get better, and only worse, this may happen. Ugh...I need to get better. My kids need me.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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  • Administrator

This therapist sounds like she's very pro-drugs. Please be careful with her.

 

Right now, rather than talking about drugs, you need to talk about your fears when your husband leaves. It sounds to me like you need to build a social network. Are there any groups you can join?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I honestly don't know what my fears are. When my Lexapro worked, I actually enjoyed time away from him :P but now I just get extremely emotional, lonely, feelings of being left behind, feelings like why am I even here? Logically I know the answers to all of this. Logically I know everything we are doing is to better our future. Before I fell into this depression, I was confident and excited for the future. I knew these 2 years he goes to school will be hard, but worth it and I was so excited for him to finally achieve his goals in life and be able to provide for his family the way he wants.

 

Then I messed with my meds right after we moved here, and all those feelings of pride, excitement, inspiration, strength to get through this hard time just vanished in a matter of days. Instead of being excited for all my husband was already achieving when he just started school (landed a really prestigious internship easily), which was his dream come true, I had feelings if not wanting it. I wanted to tell him to not take it. I felt overwhelmed, scared, like I/we were over our heads and we should just run away from all this which we've worked so hard to get to for years now!

 

This is unlike me because he's been going to school full time while working full time for the last 3 years! I was able to handle it. We were a team. I felt apart of everything he was doing. I held down our home life because I was so proud and supportive of him! I even handled a newborn baby and 3 year old all on my own and despite it being difficult, it was a normal difficult. Where I could always see the light at the end of the tunnel. And the love of my family left me no choice but to succeed and care for them.

 

These last few months I've been the complete opposite. I don't care about my husbands school, career, goals. I've become weak and feel like I just want to give it all up. For what? Nothing. It's not like there is any reason behind these bad feelings at all. I just am not happy with anything anymore. I don't enjoy anything anymore. I don't love my family the way I used to. I feel as if my husband focusing so much on school is bad and he should be at home supporting me. This IS NOT ME.

 

These feelings are not normal. I understand people go through difficult things in their life, but nothing has changed. It is so unfair for my husband to have a supportive wife who has cheered him on all this time and then when he finally starts reaching his goals, she turns off and doesn't care and wants it to all go away. That is so unfair that it makes me so damn angry. There is so, so, so much I have been looking forward to experience in life. One thing being just watching my kids grow up and being there for all their big moments in life. That's gone now. No matter how hard I try to feel the same, my brain doesn't react and makes me feel like all of it is meaningless and pointless. Every day is just about pointless.

 

This is why I'm suffering. I'm doing everything I can to change my thinking, but my brain is not reacting to any of it. I can't go on much longer feeling like this. There is too much at stake. This is all why everyone wants me to switch to Prozac. They want me to feel better, get my motivation and inspiration back for life. Stabilize for a while. Work on things. And then when my life calms down, then try to get off medication.

 

But I'm scared now. So scared. Now I know there are risks with either route I choose. I can not afford to make another wrong decision. I can't change anything in my life right now. My husband worked very hard to get into the school he is attending and to get the job he landed. I can not make a choice that lands me into an even worse state where I'm so depressed I'm disabled. If I taper off all meds, will that make me feel better or worse? If I switch to Prozac, will that make me feel better or worse?

 

This is all why I can't just make a choice and hope for the best. This is why I wish so badly I could have a guaranteed answer which I know is impossible. So this is why I'm struggling to make that decision.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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Ok so I finally found the WD symptoms check list on this site. When I switched from Lexapro to celexa, within a week I was experiencing symptoms 1-6. And much worse in the 2nd week.

 

How can this be when I took the equivalent dosage of the "same" drug? I assumed celexa just didn't work for me and it was my depression coming back or maybe just symptoms from switching, but either way it was bad. But I never thought it could be WD. WD from Lexapro maybe?

 

I'm just still learning and discovering this all may be WD. If I wanted to try to taper first before instating Prozac, could I do that safely? Because my doctor was very clear I have to start Prozac at the same time as tapering lexapro. But if I went a week or so just tapering Lexapro, could I safely decide to start Prozac still?

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Sunnydays,

I've been following your thread and I can 'hear' how scared and confused you are.  You are in a difficult situation and I can understand why you feel under so much pressure to make the 'right' decision. 

 

There are a lot of things I could say, but they would just be my opinion, based on my life experiences and particular values.  On the surface, it seems like you have a decision to make about medication, but I get a sense that there are deeper issues involved, maybe ones you are not even aware of (yet).

 

From my experience, and I'm quite a bit older than you, I've come to the conclusion that there are no 'right' decisions in life, only various choices with different consequences, some of those consequences we know, and some we don't.  The reality seems to be that in life, all we can do is make a choice and hope for the best.  If it doesn't turn out well, sometimes we get to make another choice, sometimes not.

 

Sometimes, something which appears to have been a mistake, or which has turned out badly, ends up being a blessing in disguise because even though it may be painful and difficult to get through, it teaches us something or takes us a few steps closer to being our authentic selves.  It can often take a while to get to that place of being able to look back and see the bigger truth.

 

 

If I wanted to try to taper first before instating Prozac, could I do that safely? Because my doctor was very clear I have to start Prozac at the same time as tapering lexapro. But if I went a week or so just tapering Lexapro, could I safely decide to start Prozac still?

 

No one can answer this question with any accuracy, no one really understands what these drugs do, not even your doctor.  There is no guarantee the Prozac would help even if you did start it right away, there is a very real possibility it would make your symptoms and situation even worse.

 

I wish I had an easy answer for you.

 

Just wondering, what does your husband think you should do?

 

Petu?

 

 

 

 

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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  • Administrator

Drug switches sometimes are not successful. You can still be suffering withdrawal syndrome from one drug while you're taking another.

 

Directly tapering from Lexapro is far safer than switching to Prozac. Lexapro comes in a liquid for this purpose.

 

If you're here to ask what drug to switch to, to take long-term, we can't help you. This is a site for going off drugs.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

Hi Sunnydays,

I've been following your thread and I can 'hear' how scared and confused you are. You are in a difficult situation and I can understand why you feel under so much pressure to make the 'right' decision.

 

There are a lot of things I could say, but they would just be my opinion, based on my life experiences and particular values. On the surface, it seems like you have a decision to make about medication, but I get a sense that there are deeper issues involved, maybe ones you are not even aware of (yet).

 

From my experience, and I'm quite a bit older than you, I've come to the conclusion that there are no 'right' decisions in life, only various choices with different consequences, some of those consequences we know, and some we don't. The reality seems to be that in life, all we can do is make a choice and hope for the best. If it doesn't turn out well, sometimes we get to make another choice, sometimes not.

 

Sometimes, something which appears to have been a mistake, or which has turned out badly, ends up being a blessing in disguise because even though it may be painful and difficult to get through, it teaches us something or takes us a few steps closer to being our authentic selves. It can often take a while to get to that place of being able to look back and see the bigger truth.

 

 

 

If I wanted to try to taper first before instating Prozac, could I do that safely? Because my doctor was very clear I have to start Prozac at the same time as tapering lexapro. But if I went a week or so just tapering Lexapro, could I safely decide to start Prozac still?

 

No one can answer this question with any accuracy, no one really understands what these drugs do, not even your doctor. There is no guarantee the Prozac would help even if you did start it right away, there is a very real possibility it would make your symptoms and situation even worse.

 

I wish I had an easy answer for you.

 

Just wondering, what does your husband think you should do?

 

Petu?

Thank you so much Petu. I really appreciate your understanding and support in this trying time I'm experiencing.

 

My husband is pretty much on the same page as me. Though he doesn't agree that doctors acually don't know what they are doing when it comes to these drugs. He tells me how extremely unlikely it is that a doctor who goes to school and trains for 12 years could actually not know that a drug is hurting people rather than helping. So I think that's his way of saying listen to the professionals, but he won't make me make a decision. He just wants me to do what will help give me my life back.

 

But when the great life I had was all while on medication, what happens if I get off all meds and I'm still in a slump? Or if the "real" me is not at all like the person I've been these last 4 years? That's so scary to think...I unfortunately come from a long line of mental illness and all around "bad" people. My dad's side of the family is not good. I have seen my uncles and cousins do things that are down right evil. Even as bad as killing newborn kittens for the fun of it...one of my uncles stole my dad's car when my older brother was 2 and still inside. My uncle drove miles before stopping and just letting my brother out of the car and then continued on leaving a 2 year old stranded on the side of the street. Thank god my parents found him shortly after.

 

My dad is considered the black sheep of his family because he's the only one who is a decent human being. So I was raised in a loving home with loving parents. I never had a bad bone in my body. I've always taken after my mom and am a caring soul. But once I had a baby, it's like I was losing myself. I have this fear that the days apon days of sleep deprivation screwed up my brain chemistry. And so without medication I will fall back to that person who did nothing but suffer and hate my life. I fear I will become like the rest of my family.

 

I believed this even more when the medication worked so well (after stabilizing). It made sense that I had a chemical imbalance, because the extra serotonin brought me back to myself. And then at times I think it made me an even better version of myself because I was doing things I never had interest in doing before.

 

If I was someone who went on meds and felt the meds numbed me out, made me flat, experienced too many side affects or adverse affects, then I can understand wanting to get off the drug as an only option. But I'm someone it truly helped when I was in a scary place in my life and I never had any adverse affects or side affects with it.

 

I'm not trying to defend these drugs. At all! I'm just trying to make it clear why I'm scared. I'm scared of losing the person I was while medicated. I'm scared the person I've explained as being in my previous post is the real me without medication. This uncaring, weak, emotional, dissatisfied with life person. Someone like my dad's family who doesn't want to get anywhere in life.

 

Sometimes I feel confident and think that without medication I will be fine and be well. But the fear is so strong it's tearing me up. I may be overthinking things, but I feel I'm truly playing with my life here. I don't want to loose all that I have :(

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment

Drug switches sometimes are not successful. You can still be suffering withdrawal syndrome from one drug while you're taking another.

 

Directly tapering from Lexapro is far safer than switching to Prozac. Lexapro comes in a liquid for this purpose.

 

If you're here to ask what drug to switch to, to take long-term, we can't help you. This is a site for going off drugs.

I want to make it clear that I do not plan to stay on these meds long term at all. If I was to switch to Prozac it would only to hopefully stabilize, feel better, and then taper with a stronger outlook and more confidence in myself that I just can't muster up right now. My therapist is only supportive of drugs for the short term. She wants me to be in a good place before tapering off any drugs.

 

And I asked my dr about the liquid lexapro. He told me it's 5 times more expensive than the pill and I just can't afford that.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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  • Administrator

Which is why, in the tapering Lexapro topic, we give instructions about how to make your own liquid with water. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/406-tips-for-tapering-off-lexapro-escitalopram/

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I think I made a mistake. I took the last tiny piece of pill of seroquel yesterday morning. And decided to take the first 10mg Prozac this morning with 15mg lexapro like my doctor said.

 

I was ok the first couple hours. Then slowly this sadness is creeping over me. And now I'm feeling so much sadness and feel a crying spell coming.

 

I can't take this anymore. And I don't know if this is a withdrawal from the seroquel, or caused by the Prozac.

 

Could this be a sign my CNS is damaged?

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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Hi Sunny, I wish that it were true that taking meds would just smooth out the ride of life. Sometimes they can for many years, but Once they start to get "weird" it seems like changing and changing just makes things worse. Only you can decide if you want to keep struggling to make the meds work or struggle to break free and hone your ability to face life head-on. Both options have lots of risks. To me, trying to parent through this is the hardest part, but it has been done many times.

 

Hi Sunny....changing meds a number of times has had an adverse affect for me at the moment.  I am at  a crossroads now in terms of getting off of it all forever....as you stated in your title.  Yes it is scary.  I am afraid to drop in dose and I think most of us are.

 

I wish you well in your quest to find some peace.  I think we are all looking for that, so you are not alone.

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Drug switches sometimes are not successful. You can still be suffering withdrawal syndrome from one drug while you're taking another.

 

Directly tapering from Lexapro is far safer than switching to Prozac.

 

I think I made a mistake. I took the last tiny piece of pill of seroquel yesterday morning. And decided to take the first 10mg Prozac this morning with 15mg lexapro like my doctor said.

 

I was ok the first couple hours. Then slowly this sadness is creeping over me. And now I'm feeling so much sadness and feel a crying spell coming.

 

I can't take this anymore. And I don't know if this is a withdrawal from the seroquel, or caused by the Prozac.

 

Could this be a sign my CNS is damaged?

 

The suggestions and information you get here on this site come from many years of actual experience of what generally works for most people, most of the time for people who are having problems reducing and coming off medication.

 

Adding another drug has now further complicated your situation, no one can tell what is causing symptoms.

 

For some information from our thread "The Prozac switch or "bridging" with Prozac" see here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1463-the-prozac-switch-or-bridging-with-prozac/?p=13616

 

Please read it completely before you decide if you want to continue with Prozac, I don't have any suggestions, maybe someone else does.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Thank you Petu! I will read it carefully now.

 

After really thinking about it and analyzing what is causing the sadness, I'm actually relieved to say I think the sadness was/is actually my emotions coming back. The seroquel was making me almost completely blank. I would have constant thoughts of what's the point? Who cares? If someone was having a difficult time, I'd genuinely wonder why it affected them and wondered why they couldn't just cut off emotion to whatever was making them upset. I had a disturbing sense that life had no meaning because i couldn't feel it. If that makes any sense? I'm having a hard time wording my meaning.

 

But I kept realizing yesterday that I was so sad over the fact that I wasn't happy. When I made the connection, I actually felt relief because it's like I got in touch with my human nature again! Unfortunately, my human nature is telling me that I'm extremely sad because I'm no longer happy the way I once was.

 

Not to go into another long story, but I have this box in my closet. It's full of some of my favorite things that bring me joy. I see it every now and then and it reminds me of the person I used to be. But yesterday it was like a shot straight through the heart. It brought back memories of such fun things I used to do with not just myself but my family. Because I can't feel the same that I did when I experienced those memories, I'm utterly broken when I see them.

 

And despite it bringing on sadness and a near emotional break down, I was also glad to feel human again!

 

So I'd like to say a nice big F*** YOU Seroquel!! I've been off it now 2 days. I wasn't on it long, but I feel proud to have gotten off it!

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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So I'm on day 5 of my switch to Prozac. Day 2-4 aside from anhedonia (not complete but strong) I was feeling pretty ok. I wasn't depressed anyway. Just the stupid anhedonia.

 

Today was entirely different. I have been feeling a lot of sadness, mental fatigue, painful anhedonia. And by painful I mean I'm so uninterested in things I normally enjoy that being around any of it is causing horribly low mood swings. I've stayed outside playing with my kids because being in my home is making me feel almost despair because of how uncomfortable and uninterested I am in it. I finally convinced my husband to get cable in our house again and it was set up this morning. The amount of unhappiness I got imagining sitting down, relaxing and enjoying tv was killer.

 

I couldn't stay in my home, especially when my husband is able to just sit and relax and enjoy things I absolutely can't. So I stayed outside with my kids which isn't bad of course. The only thing that brings me any peace or the tiniest of happiness is spending time with them and their little neighborhood friends.

 

Also, I've been feeling increasingly lonely. I'm damn near desperate to spend time with people that that's another reason I was out with all the kids today. I'm so desperate for interaction that I would feel a mild form of panic when one of the kids would have to go inside. These kids are 6-8 years old. That's how desperate I feel for social interaction and they are all I have. Granted I've always been very good with kids (I used to be a preschool teacher so being around kids feels comfortable for me) this reaction is not healthy. I'm so unstable that I can't be alone, especially in my home.

 

And I'm struggling with the scary moments of why again. I saw one of my older neighbors walk out of her apartment and thought about how she lives alone and I get this low mood swing feeling of "how does she live alone happily? How does she go on? Isn't she tired of livig at this point?" I literally feel like she should have no will to live. It's as if my natural human instinct to survive disappears. That is the most accurate way I can describe it and it's frightening.

 

What is happening to me??? I thought bridging to Prozac was relatively easy? But at the same time I was and have been in a unstable mental state for a couple months now and on the full dose of lexapro still. So I'm having these horrible feelings after poop out. So it's not like I can reinstate anything to help me get to a stable point.

 

What do I do? I need help!

 

Edited to add* It's so unsettling that going to see a doctor is pretty much not an option because I'm sure they will be quick to diagnose something and want to add medications. So I feel so utterly alone and lost. I'm scared I'm going to go crazy.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

And I'm struggling with the scary moments of why again. I saw one of my older neighbors walk out of her apartment and thought about how she lives alone and I get this low mood swing feeling of "how does she live alone happily? How does she go on? Isn't she tired of livig at this point?" I literally feel like she should have no will to live. It's as if my natural human instinct to survive disappears. That is the most accurate way I can describe it and it's frightening.

 

 

I can so much relate to these kinds of thoughts, and I was never like this before withdrawal.

 

I'm sorry that switching to Prozac isn't going so well, all I can suggest is give it more time, but perhaps reading back through your entire thread would be helpful also.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Dear SD, I don't know how to quote just a part of the post but still wanted to let you know that I am also very familiar with the kind of feelings you are going through.

 

 

Also, I've been feeling increasingly lonely. I'm damn near desperate to spend time with people that that's another reason I was out with all the kids today. I'm so desperate for interaction that I would feel a mild form of panic when one of the kids would have to go inside. These kids are 6-8 years old. That's how desperate I feel for social interaction and they are all I have. Granted I've always been very good with kids (I used to be a preschool teacher so being around kids feels comfortable for me) this reaction is not healthy. I'm so unstable that I can't be alone, especially in my home. 

 

My depression also manifests in this way that I feel so empty and dead on the inside that only the company of other people gives me form and also feel the need to be around other people.

 

 

This was predominant feeling early in my 18 years of struggle with depression. It lasted for months but in the end it went away! In those 18 years I also had periods when I could be on my own and feel happy because I felt fulfilled. After this lesson, when I feel so needy of human contact and presence, I just accept it as a phase that will end. I know I will be better again because I had this experience of feeling whole and happy even after the worst of instability.

 

Knowing that it will pass makes me less worried and desperate so I wanted to share this with you in hope it might ease things for you a bit.

 

hug,

bubble

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Sunny, I think that you might have started your prozac switch too soon after quitting seroquel.

Your system didn't have time to adjust.  Are you bridging prozac or have you just switched from

one to the other?  I'm sorry I am not too great at the minute and haven't the concentration to look

back through the thread. 

 

Try not to panic, I know that is easier said than done but this will pass and you will find yourself again. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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And I'm struggling with the scary moments of why again. I saw one of my older neighbors walk out of her apartment and thought about how she lives alone and I get this low mood swing feeling of "how does she live alone happily? How does she go on? Isn't she tired of livig at this point?" I literally feel like she should have no will to live. It's as if my natural human instinct to survive disappears. That is the most accurate way I can describe it and it's frightening.

 

 

I can so much relate to these kinds of thoughts, and I was never like this before withdrawal.

 

I'm sorry that switching to Prozac isn't going so well, all I can suggest is give it more time, but perhaps reading back through your entire thread would be helpful also.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

 

Petu, thank you!! These feelings/morbid thoughts are just disgusting and so disturbing. I have never been able to find any information on them so I've felt very alone in experiencing them. But you saying you know what I'm talking about, and that it has only happened during withdrawal gives me hope it's not me, it's the WD.

 

I'm still trying to understand how poop out and WD connect though. Because I experienced this way of thinking when I started the seroquel too but had not tapered any medications yet. So I of course worry it's just the real morbid, depressed me coming through even though it sounds nothing like me. But now I'm sure I'm experiencing WD from Lexapro as I switch to Prozac.

 

I'm feeling more and more confident that this depression is all caused by lexapro. I never experienced depression before starting lexapro. But I was also postpartum with my first baby and so I also thought it could just be a coincidence my depression was getting a million times worse just a week or 2 after starting Lexapro since it wasn't affective yet. Also the fact that I was on Lexapro previously for 2 years with no issues starting it or getting off it what so ever. So that also fed into my "maybe my brain is truly depressed now" thinking.

 

But I'm really starting to believe it was not coincidence. This gives me hope for the future!! But as of right now, I have to hold out hope that Prozac will get me to a stabilized state. The way I'm living right now is unbearable and I still believe starting the taper now would only hurt me more. So if I can get to a stable state on Prozac and hold steady for a short time and then start a slow taper...Lord please let that be the answer....

 

 

Dear SD, I don't know how to quote just a part of the post but still wanted to let you know that I am also very familiar with the kind of feelings you are going through.

 

 

Also, I've been feeling increasingly lonely. I'm damn near desperate to spend time with people that that's another reason I was out with all the kids today. I'm so desperate for interaction that I would feel a mild form of panic when one of the kids would have to go inside. These kids are 6-8 years old. That's how desperate I feel for social interaction and they are all I have. Granted I've always been very good with kids (I used to be a preschool teacher so being around kids feels comfortable for me) this reaction is not healthy. I'm so unstable that I can't be alone, especially in my home. 

 

My depression also manifests in this way that I feel so empty and dead on the inside that only the company of other people gives me form and also feel the need to be around other people.

 

 

This was predominant feeling early in my 18 years of struggle with depression. It lasted for months but in the end it went away! In those 18 years I also had periods when I could be on my own and feel happy because I felt fulfilled. After this lesson, when I feel so needy of human contact and presence, I just accept it as a phase that will end. I know I will be better again because I had this experience of feeling whole and happy even after the worst of instability.

 

Knowing that it will pass makes me less worried and desperate so I wanted to share this with you in hope it might ease things for you a bit.

 

hug,

bubble

Thank you :) I'm very much an extrovert even when I'm feeling like my normal self. I love people and being social. So I feel when I'm feeling really bad, my extrovert-ness is subconsciously yelling at me "go find someone! Be around people!" As if it's an emergency or something. It knows I'm energized and stimulated when engaged with others. It's one of my favorite aspects of my personality, but also not a very good one to have when you don't know many people in a new area you just moved to :/

 

Thankfully today was a better day. I think yesterday may have been so bad because I didn't sleep well the night before, and Lord knows restful sleep is important during this time. I wasn't great today by any means, but I didn't feel desperate to direct my attentions elsewhere.

 

Here's to hoping for another tolerable day.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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  • Administrator

....

 

Right now, rather than talking about drugs, you need to talk about your fears when your husband leaves. It sounds to me like you need to build a social network. Are there any groups you can join?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Alto I've been trying. This is a small area and the other mothers seem very cliquey. I even tried finding a PPD support group cause I figured I'd find friends who can at least relate to me in going through something difficult but there is none. Only one I found has been inactive for over a year. I've made a couple friends thru my sons preschool but they don't have much time to get together. Which only makes me feel even more alone knowing they have these active lifestyles while I sit at home hoping we run out of milk so that gives me a reason to go out.

 

I want to go home. I hate it here and miss my family. If I could escape to my moms whenever I needed I know that would help.

 

I've been thinking about how this anhedonia seems to be the root cause of my depression. Iatrogenic anhedonia I'm sure. I used to enjoy being at home with just my kids. I would get anxiety whenever my husband and I thought about me gettig even a part time job because my maternal instincts were strong and protective of my babies. God, they were my world. But now I just don't feel the same. Everything is messed up and broken in my head. I'm discovering that without enjoyment, fulfillment, living life just feels like a chore. Time passes so insanely slow. Instead of feeling energized and happy about activities with my kids, they exhaust me and leave me feeling like it's all so pointless. How can my brain register my own kids lives as a chore and pointless? How much damage did I really do to my brain with these meds to make me feel that way?

 

The depression and sadness mostly comes from the fact I'm living a life I recently loved and would protect to the end but do not feel the same anymore. I think the anhedonia is what's causing the morbid thoughts too. Because normally I would be able to feel and envision all the good and exciting things in life to experience. But since I can't imagine them, life just feels like one long chore. Logically I know that's not true as I have very happy memories to prove it so I know, but my brain just won't respond to my good thoughts. And instead send negative, life is pain feelings.

 

It's so miserable and difficult. And the fact that this all started without even withdrawing the medication makes me think the prognosis could be bad, but I don't know enough about poop out. I'm just holding out hope the Prozac will help and then I can taper off without suffering like this.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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  • Administrator

Look at meetup.com. There must be groups you can join.

 

This online support group cannot fill all your needs, particularly since it seems you're clinging to psychiatric drugs as your support system. You need to develop real relationships in the real world, which it seems you have been unable to do as long as you've been married.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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Ok Alto, I need your input (again).

 

I've been thinking a lot about my current symptoms. As of right now I'm on 20mg Prozac and 10mg lexapro. My GP told me once I'm at this dose, to stay here until I see him again. And I see him again in 2 weeks.

 

I'll say that I'm feeling, in general, better since starting this bridge. But I guess in general just means I'm not dealing with the chronic sadness and low mood. I'm even able to slightly enjoy things, but those are sporadic short windows throughout the day.

 

However what I was explaining before, the severe mood drops where I'd lose touch with why people choose to live, and I say that because what's happening is I lose touch with whatever it is that causes us to instinctively want to live, to survive as long as we can. I'm having such a hard time explaining it (I think because of my difficulty getting a grasp of it right now) but normally when someone has something very bad happen to them, it's devastating, but our basic response is to figure out a way to move passed it and continue on in life. Like, there is no other option. That is gone for me.

 

I've gone from life being precious and important and there being no question that I'd want to continue on no matter what happens, to it's literally a choice to live.

 

Now, I'm not suicidal! I'm not saying I want to die. I don't want to AT ALL. But I'm trying to explain that the panic, the response of survival, is gone. And it's completely caused by my mood. Logically I want to get through this and continue on with my life. But my mood is not responding and instead I get this feeling of its pointless, life is mundane and exhausting. My fight or flight response is just gone.

 

I've been reading up on adrenal fatique. I think it's similar to that. I think there is an issue with my cortisol response. I used to appreciate life and every day and whenever I'd think about anything that could happen to me and end it, my immediate response is how horrible that would be and I'd feel sadness, fear and event panic over that happening.

 

Now when I think that? I feel nothing. No fear, no sadness, no panic reaction at all. And I may even get a very adverse reaction of life is too hard anyway.

 

And then there is the symptom of not being able to feel accomplishment, pride, determination, the want and fulfillment of every day life and our career paths. Where the Hell did that all go? Because I've been thinking about how when I see older people and think things like "why are they doing what they're doing? Aren't they totally burnt out on life now? What makes them want to keep living?" I've figured out that I think and feel that way because all of the stated above has disappeared. I can't feel it since not just the lexapro poopout, but the seroquel made it even worse.

 

Without those feelings, life just feels like an exhausting chore. But I NEVER had this issue before starting Lexapro. I remember it made me feel this way when I first started it but my doctor said to move passed it and it will go away. And it did. And then when I tried to taper off it, it came back quickly. And now that it's pooped out, it's back.

 

I have this fear that in order for lexapro to work, it had to damage whatever part of my brain is responsible for creating those feelings of accomplishment, pride, excitement, etc. because when I try to imagine why people do something they enjoy and continue to do it for years (a loved career, relationships, etc.) I get nothing. All that comes is a strong feeling of exhaust and confusion of why they would want to continue on doing it.

 

I can not go on forever feeling like this. It is a very severe and disturbing feeling. I know many people who suffer from this severe anhedonia towards life do so as a result of discontinuation syndrome or too fast taper. But mine is caused from poop out. What does that mean? Is it the same as DS? Or is it actually the cause of these feelings and coming off would fix it?

 

The only reason I'm bridging to Prozac is because it has to stop. I have moments where I feel pretty strongly that the poop out is causing these feelings and if I taper off I bet I'd feel much better. But I simply don't have it in me to fight against these feelings in the long process. I can not go on feeling this way towards life much longer. I'm not saying I'd think about ending my life, but I just feel that I would totally lose it and completely fall apart and give up. I'm fighting to get through the day without thinking everything in life is pointless. And it's exhausting me.

 

So while I'm hoping the Prozac will help level me out and help me not feel so much like life is a struggle to get through instead of a general joy and want, I am really unhappy that I'm doing it. If the chance that the lexapro poop out is causing my brain to have this anhedonic and adverse reaction, then I really just want off.

 

But the chance is not worth the torture I'm facing right now. At least not with just the assumption alone that poop out is causing this. So is there any information on this? Any studies, articles, info of any kind that links what I'm experiencing to SSRI poop out? Because the only reason I'm switching poisons is because I'm not confident otherwise. But I'm so afraid I could just be making things worse by bridging over.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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