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Sunnydays0912: scared to taper from Lexapro and Seroquel. Help!


sunnydays0912

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That's also a good description of an adverse reaction to an antidepressant.

 

Like so many psychiatrists, yours does not recognize adverse effects of antidepressants and other psychiatric drugs. He believes another myth, which is an adverse reaction to antidepressants is diagnostic of bipolar disorder.

 

Is this the same doctor who thought you had ADHD a little while ago?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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Many of us have been diagnosed with bi-polar after starting meds, myself included. 

 

I'm sure it's already been mentioned but you should get hold of a copy of 'anatomy of an epidemic'

by Robert Whittaker, it is a real eye opener. 

I had a breakdown after a period of intolerable stress and needed sleep and TLC. Instead I got drugs

and a bi-polar label when I had reactions to those drugs. That led to more and more drugs over 20 years.

I do not  believe it is anti depressants unmasking or triggering bipolar episodes any more than I believe 

in Santa Claus and have undiagnosed myself!  

 

Another book worth looking at is Mood mapping, written by a doctor who has bi-polar and controls it without

medication. I can't help wondering if the writer is actually better because she tapered all the meds!  Doctors 

do not accept that psychotropic medication can cause more mental illness than it cures, all they know is

what the drug companies tell them.

 

Just my thoughts.  

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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I am quite familiar with that website...I believe him to be a very caring doctor, just mistaken about what happens when ADs go awry. If you want to think you have bipolar, he has a whole page on lifestyle management of bipolar where he states it can be managed without drugs, and he recently published a case study on two patients managing their "bipolar" with dietary interventions.

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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I've had extensive correspondence with Jim Phelps. He sees a lot of people taking antidepressants with benzos to control the adverse effects, and he deplores that trend. We disagree on his definitions of bipolar II. But I agree with meimei, he's a nice guy.

Also see

Phelps, 2012 Treating anxiety by discontinuing antidepressants: A case series  <<<<----- Sunny, read this.

Phelps, 2011 Tapering antidepressants: Is 3 months slow enough?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I left his office in total denial. I thought I was done with him. I decided to do my own research. And yesterday I came across this:

 

"Anxiety as a symptom of Bipolar Disorder

 

What is the anxiety of bipolar disorder like? Patients describe it as "agitation", and sometimes that is quite obvious: their foot bounces on the floor while we talk; they pick at their nails; sometimes they can't even bear to sit still and will get up and pace around the office during our interview. But sometimes the agitation is only "inside": patients experience "too much energy inside my skin", like they're going to "explode", and usually their thoughts are going very fast (sometimes called "racing thoughts"). However, when this is severe, people may not experience that fast thinking, but instead just an extremely disorganized thinking -- not being able to keep their mind on one thing for more than a few seconds, not being able to accomplish anything. Of course that can make "anxiety" worse as people recognize that they are really ill with something that is not obvious to anyone else, yet they are not really functioning either. How do you explain that to someone?"

 

"When this kind of anxiety is present with other manic symptoms like irritability, it can create an awful experience people feel desperate to get out of."

 

"When this kind of anxiety is present with depression, this may be the worst combination of all. Anxiety is a very strong risk factor for suicide when people are depressed. The future looks hopeless and pointless because of the depression; and the present feels unbearable."

 

(From

http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/Anxiety.htm

 

This explains what happened to me perfectly. This is what I went through. How can I deny this now?

 

What is your opinion? I haven't looked up much about what the beliefs of AD and other drugs to treat BP are on this site, so I want to know both sides before deciding what to believe...

 

oh my, my, my!

 

I don't have time now but when I saw that explanation by your psychiatrist, I felt like jumping out of my skin... So took a few very deep breaths.. (and admire calmness in replies of others here).

 

1) you were not in denial. By saying that, you just said that you chose to believe in his explanation over your experience and gut feeling.

 

2) Yes, you have symptoms. That's a fact. Each any every one so nicely described there. But as Alto said, these very symptoms are also a perfect description of withdrawal.

 

3) Let's look at what are the steps that follow after these 2 different understandings of the same facts. If you go the course of something called bypolar something, you will be given ADs (more, other or whatever).

 

Didn't you experience on your own skin only too painfully what playing with ADs means? (more symptoms, more diagnoses, more drugs to terat the side effects of other drugs - and the doctor just nodding sadly: look how strong your illness is)

 

The other explanation: it's withdrawal. The course of action is: let's stabilise, allow our CNS to heal and see how symptoms slowly but surely disappear.

 

At the same time, let's see what is actually causing us to feel depressed: did we bring ourselves in an unattainable situation that we feel we can't handle? Let's work on changing our coping mechanisms which actually cause us to be stressed, anxious and depressed. Let's learn about natural ways of how to calm ourselves...

 

When you and all of us were first put on medication we were anxious, depressed or whatever because of something that HAPPENED to us, as a reaction to stress, insecurity, traumatic events, etc, etc.

 

There was no mysterious illness that developed in us, there was no lump that grew somewhere inside or something like that.

 

 In response to your last question, it might surprise you but I and many people on this site don't actually believe there is such thing as mental ILLNESS, BP or anything else. There are just complex ways in which human psychic responds to difficulties of being a human being in a complex environment.

 

This site therefore doesn't recommend psychotropic medication but helps people come off them and learn to deal with difficulties of being a human in a more natural, drug-free way.

 

It may surprise you that although human distress existed in all times and places, it wasn't until I think after 1970s that it started to be "treated" with psychotropic medication. (There is an article I read here and a lot of research that shows that we who today "enjoy the benefits of advance in pharmacological treatment" don't recover better than the fellow sufferers who didn't have that "opportunity". Some research actually shows that the recovery rates are smaller!

 

Lobotomy was also once  upon a time a highly recommended treatment advocated for and supported by top medical porfessionals. I hope we will live long enough to see psycotropic medication being spoken about the same way as lobotomy is today: an awful mistake and a sign of helplessness of medical profession in the face of human suffering. (combined with profit driven reasons as Petu so beautifully explained). 

 

I haven't read The Anatomy of An Epidemic yet but I sort of have an idea of what it is about.

 

I admire your responsibility in hearing both sides before making the decision and believe that this book might be the other opinion, that other side to what your doctor told you that will help you make a good decision.

 

As Alto brilliantly put: yesterday it was ADD, today it is BP and who knows what we be tomorrow...

 

(On the other hand you had an insight in what is the real underlying cause of your depression and also experience of the way drugs "helped": after some initial relief, you are now in a far worse state than at the beginning)...

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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There is a tremendous amount of propaganda out there about psychiatric diagnosis. If you search around enough, you can find something to support any half-baked theory.

 

My questions for you, sunny, are: Why are you looking for a psychiatric diagnosis? Not only have you recently considered ADHD and bipolar disorder, you were scaring yourself with post-partum depression as well.

 

This is a site for going off drugs. Many people here have rejected completely the idea that they need a psychiatric diagnosis, or have decided they're going to live their lives without psychiatric drugs and manage their symptoms if they have them. That is what this site is about. What does this site offer you?

 

And -- what did you think of Jim Phelps's paper Phelps, 2012 Treating anxiety by discontinuing antidepressants: A case series

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi Sunny,

I read your last post shortly after you wrote it and I wished I hadn't.  I'm not going to include it as a quote because I don't think anyone needs to read it again.

 

When I read it, I was feeling pretty bad already, exactly the symptoms which were written about, I also wasn't thinking too clearly, so of course I immediately started to think I have bipolar disorder, which is one of the few diagnosis I don't already have.  I've got quite a list already, but after reading that, I was almost certain I now have bipolar and perhaps the only way I'm ever going to feel better is to go on the cocktail of drugs for that, I felt completely hopeless and doomed, for hours.

 

Later, when I started to feel better and the inner agitation/ restlessness subsided and my brain started to work properly again, I remembered that I only started to feel like that after I started taking psychiatric medication.  The first time I ever felt that particular symptom was when I was in my 20's and I was put on an anti-psychotic medication.  I stopped taking it as soon as I could and the symptom went away within 24 hours.  I completely recovered from that episode without any medication and didn't believe for one moment that I had a psychiatric disorder.

 

Now I feel that particular kind of agitation, to varying degrees, every morning and I have done since going into protracted withdrawal.  I started getting this symptom after I was put on stimulants for ADD, I found that I would get this symptom as a rebound effect from from the stimulants.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to say that if you still want to believe you have a mental illness and think that  finding the right combination of drugs is going to fix you, then that's up to you, but perhaps another support site would better fill your needs.  I especially think that moving to be close to your parents is a good idea, that way your children will be taken care of if you have more adverse drug reactions.

 

But my guess is that once you find yourself in a more supportive situation and get some help and relief from stress, you will start to feel better and wont need medication, once you have managed to taper off what you are on now.

 

 

 

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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I'm sorry for disappearing everyone. I got overwhelmed again. When I get overwhelmed I have to back off and take time to absorb all the information.

 

But Petu, I'm really sorry for triggering that reaction by posting what I did. I posted it in a moment of panic. I'm glad you were able to move passed the fear and see reason.

 

It took time, but I did the same. Yes, I've experienced that horrible manic episode before. It's the most horrible experience I have ever been through. It is THE reason I am so afraid of tapering. I'm so afraid of doing anything that will trigger that adverse reaction again. And Petu, the fact that you have been dealing with it daily now for so long not only scares me that I may end up experiencing the same, but it kills me you are dealing with this because I know how it feels. I know the torment you feel. When I was in the worst of it, I would have done or taken anything to get out of it. Which is weird I'd say that because I knew Xanax would probably help, but I would not take it. Instead I let a doctor put me on an antipsychotic which calmed me down, but also made me insanely depressed and feelings of despair.

 

What I've come to realize and accept is that yes, I have felt that horrible way. But it has ONLY happened directly after messing with medication. I've never experienced that reaction without starting a medication or changing a medication. I've dealt with GAD when not taking medication, but I'll take that over this any day!!

 

The fear I have with my PPD is I fear I will go back to being unable to cope with all my new life responsibilities. That was the trigger of my PPD in 2009. I was so overwhelmed, and alone, and scared. My anxiety was rampant so I couldn't sleep even when I had the tiny chance to. I had a baby just a year and a half ago and my experience was completely opposite. I loved my new life as a mom of 2. And I believed it was 100% because of my medication that helped me stay calm and be able to enjoy my new baby and life. It's engraved in my brain that I can not succeed without psychiatric drugs because of this. So yes, despite common sense and evidence staring me in the face, and even reasoning with myself that the medication is now hurting me, I'd still resort to thinking being without it will only be worse. And being in a somewhat stable state is hard to let go of if it means I may trigger another adverse reaction by tapering.

 

I have this insane love for my children that I have experienced losing for periods of time in the last 6 months. Not being able to feel that love and enjoyment of my children is a Hell I wouldn't wish on anyone. If it was just me I'd have to deal with, I could manage. But voluntarily doing something that very well could numb my feelings for my children again, and possibly even make me wish I never had them (as the Seroquel caused me to feel) is the scariest thing in the world to me! If I ended up losing that, I'd lose everything and I would not be able to go on. My logic would always be telling me I should feel a certain way for them, and if I don't then I'd just dive into a relentless depression over being robbed of the one thing I want most in this world - the love and devotion of my babies.

 

So I hope this better explains my apprehensions. The unknown is scaring me. But even though my current state is tolerable, I know I can't settle and accept it. Especially knowing it can get worse the longer I hold onto medication as a crutch. Already knowing this, I also came across this article posted in 2000.

 

https://www.nytimes.com/books/first/g/glenmullen-prozac.html

 

That article scared me more than anything so far. I'm still experiencing my left eyelid flinching every day since starting Prozac. I'm also experiencing this inability to panic or react protectively when something occurs that should cause an appropriate reaction of anxiety and panic. I thought I lost my daughter for nearly 4 or 5 minutes when I couldn't find her after taking a minute to check the mailbox. I knew not being able to find her was bad, but my body did not react in a panicked, protective reaction at all! My heart rate would not raise, adrenalin would not release, and my general feeling was "eh, she's around somewhere. I'll find her eventually I'm sure". I was extremely disturbed by this. This is not me in the slightest!! (I did find her inside my house after a few minutes. I'd like to think if much more time passed I would have finally started freaking out, but I KNOW it should have happened much sooner). This is all new since starting Prozac. So that's it. I'm done. I want off.

 

I'm scared, but I'm ready to start a slow taper. A little bit of hope I have is that I've seemed to stabilize since cutting out the 5mg Lexapo in February. This has given me a bit of a "I can do this" attitude! So I need to look more into starting the Prozac taper....

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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Good to hear you're taking a closer look at your motivations, sunny.

 

The fear I have with my PPD is I fear I will go back to being unable to cope with all my new life responsibilities.

 

 

Post-partum depression, by definition, occurs, shortly after birth. You cannot get PPD after your children are years old.

 

PPD is another psychiatric disorder being widely overdiagnosed. After a woman gives birth, it's natural that her hormones are in turmoil. Sleeplessness for a period is also normal; it's the subject of many a joke about new parents. The single most significant factor in women diagnosed with post-partum depression is social isolation. Women who fear being unable to cope with their new life responsibilities don't need drugs, they need friends.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/science-isnt-golden/201303/the-debate-about-causes-postpartum-depression

 

It is alarming that calling postpartum depression a mental illness takes the focus off the many social changes we need to make to reduce the burdens on new mothers, such as providing more social support and practical help, providing better healthcare for mother and baby, and working hard to expose the myths about motherhood and reduce the mother-blame that put unnecessary and enormous burdens on mothers.

 

Another new study scheduled for future publication***** reveals that -- surprise, surprise! -- when new mothers feel that they have more social support from their families, the rate of postpartum depression declines.....

 

The authors of this study also report that that social support dampened the mother's "corticotropin-releasing hormone" during pregnancy and that that helped reduce postpartum upset. It is important to know that that hormone is a response to what is euphemistically and vaguely called "stress" but that I prefer to call intense emotional and social pressures. Unlike the unfounded claims that what gets called "mental illness" is caused not by what happens to people in their lives but rather by abnormal neurochemistry or "broken brains," there is now this proof the cause-effect relationship is the reverse: Lack of social support causes a physiological change, and it is known that problems with stress hormones can cause or intensify exhaustion, the last thing that a new mother needs. So in the absence of adequate social support, it makes sense that the rise in this hormone intensifies the new mother's exhaustion, which understandably increases the chances that she will feel despair about the prospect of being able to provide adequate care for her newborn. All the more reason to provide more support of various kinds for new mothers, rather than assuming they have mental disorders and moving immediately to drug them. And as shown in this new study, the earlier that that support is provided, the more effective it is in reducing problems for the mothers.

 

 

PPD is part of the trend to call every hormonal stage of a woman's life a psychiatric disorder. Personally, I find this heinous.

 

As you have repeatedly described, sunny, you lacked support from friends, family, and even your husband throughout your pregnancies and in your married life. Drugs have been the substitute.

 

You still lack support from friends, family, and even your husband. Only you can do something about this, this is your life, not anyone else's, and no one is going to fix it for you. (Don't we all wish someone would!) You can reduce your fears by arranging your life so you have more support in the real world. Since your family and husband have probably demonstrated their limits, this means you need to make friends, or at least have a social circle other than your children.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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It is alarming that calling postpartum depression a mental illness takes the focus off the many social changes we need to make to reduce the burdens on new mothers, such as providing more social support and practical help, providing better healthcare for mother and baby, and working hard to expose the myths about motherhood and reduce the mother-blame that put unnecessary and enormous burdens on mothers.

 

Another new study scheduled for future publication***** reveals that -- surprise, surprise! -- when new mothers feel that they have more social support from their families, the rate of postpartum depression declines.....

 

The authors of this study also report that that social support dampened the mother's "corticotropin-releasing hormone" during pregnancy and that that helped reduce postpartum upset. It is important to know that that hormone is a response to what is euphemistically and vaguely called "stress" but that I prefer to call intense emotional and social pressures. Unlike the unfounded claims that what gets called "mental illness" is caused not by what happens to people in their lives but rather by abnormal neurochemistry or "broken brains," there is now this proof the cause-effect relationship is the reverse: Lack of social support causes a physiological change, and it is known that problems with stress hormones can cause or intensify exhaustion, the last thing that a new mother needs. So in the absence of adequate social support, it makes sense that the rise in this hormone intensifies the new mother's exhaustion, which understandably increases the chances that she will feel despair about the prospect of being able to provide adequate care for her newborn. All the more reason to provide more support of various kinds for new mothers, rather than assuming they have mental disorders and moving immediately to drug them. And as shown in this new study, the earlier that that support is provided, the more effective it is in reducing problems for the mothers.

 

 

 

PPD is part of the trend to call every hormonal stage of a woman's life a psychiatric disorder. Personally, I find this heinous.

 

As you have repeatedly described, sunny, you lacked support from friends, family, and even your husband throughout your pregnancies and in your married life. Drugs have been the substitute.

 

You still lack support from friends, family, and even your husband. Only you can do something about this, this is your life, not anyone else's, and no one is going to fix it for you. (Don't we all wish someone would!) You can reduce your fears by arranging your life so you have more support in the real world. Since your family and husband have probably demonstrated their limits, this means you need to make friends, or at least have a social circle other than your children.

The bolded part...if you could use an example of someone, it would be what happened to me. I definitely had a sudden hormonal drop almost immediately after giving birth. And once everyone left shortly after I had him, I first noticed something wasn't right. I was surrounded by my friend and my husbands parents (my parents couldn't come until the next day because of work...) and I felt very supported and cared about. Then I had my baby, and within the hour everyone said congrats and left. Saying "we are beat, we will see you in the morning" and left to get some sleep in the comfort of their no-major-life-changes-anxiety. Thank God my husband was there and so attentive to us, but at the same time I hadn't slept in 3 days, just finished the most exhausting experience of my life, and he was over the moon in love with our son while I was wondering why I wasn't as excited and happy as him. It was simple, I was exhausted. But I had the same issue so many new moms have, where we've only seen birth on TV. I thought once you have the baby, you feel magical and love and happiness no matter what. So the guilt started right then. My husband was loving every moment, and all I could do was watch and wonder when I'd feel the same way.

 

That night when we finally decided to get some sleep, I started having these weird gasps right as I'd drift off to sleep. It was like as I'd drift off, my mind would panic for a second and make me take in a deep breath which would wake me up. This happened over and over while my husband was sound asleep. This is when my "I'm never going to sleep - I'm going to die from exhaustion" anxiety began. I was given Benadryl, and it kept happening. A Pediatrician came in to do his nighttime check up expecting me to be asleep. But when she saw I was awake, she said she would come back later. But at that point my anxiety and exhaustion was so crazy bad that I told her to stay and began bawling. I had no idea who she was, but I couldn't stop crying. She was young and very sweet and gave me a hug and asked me what was wrong. I told her how I can't sleep, I'm not happy, my anxiety is crazy, and I'm scared to death I can't handle this. She told me she too had a baby recently and has had moments where she's so stressed out. She talked to me for a while telling me everything would be ok and she would get me a referral for counseling ASAP.

 

To me, that was the worst night of my life. I was uneducated and scared. I so obviously was feeling many hormonal changes, but had no idea. I thought I was just going crazy, which only made my anxiety worse. All my husband could do was tell me everything would be fine, but he had no idea what I was feeling. The day we were going home, I remember actually feeling ok. But before we left, the doctor who was in charge of my care (who saw me a grand total of once) sent in a nurse with a 75mg pill of Effexor XR. Told me that because I was showing signs if anxiety again, that I should start up my medication again (I had been on it for a few months the year before) and I remember thinking I didn't want to. I knew how badly I reacted when I first started taking it. I didn't want that to happen again. So I told the nurse I would take it later. She said I had to take it in front of her or I couldn't take it at all. I wish I had said not at all, but I felt pressured. So I took the damn thing. And an hour later, anxiety, agitation, racing thoughts, ugh. I took my new baby home in such a horrible state. And the first thing my husband says when we get home "we left this place a mess. We need to clean it". It was THE worst thing he could say to me. I felt like I was being pressured into being a mom to a newborn, a maid, and it all alone because my husband would be back at work very soon and he also had no idea the pain and emotions I was going through.

 

I begged my mom to come out. But she couldn't take time off work. I begged my stepMIL but she said she had jury duty. I had ONE friend, but she had 4 kids of her own. And my husband didn't get why I was struggling so much to cope with all the change. "You wanted this. You've always wanted to be a mom. You've begged for a baby since we got married. Now you have it and you can't stop crying. You need to get it together" is about all the understanding and support I got from him.

 

I feel I'm one of the most unlucky people to be in this position. My life has been nothing but change and unstableness. I moved to San Diego when I was 19 and newly married. I was scared to death but adjusted ok over time. I lived in San Diego for over 7 years, and every time I made a friend, it was another military wife. Meaning she would eventually move away. I made many friends. But none of them stayed around for more than a year or 2. So when I had my son, at that time I only had one close friend who had 4 young kids herself so she barely had time to volunteer for me. I have no sisters or caring cousins. My mom cares, but her job is so damn stressful and my dad's construction job has been suffering for years because of the economy so she's had to be the main support for them.

 

Oh, and when I was going through all my horribleness of PPD, that's also when my older brother was hitting his worst point of schizophrenia. He was having violent outbreaks, threatening to kill my family, delusions going rampant. So my parents were in their own version of Hell and simply had no time for me. I was so damn alone. I had no hope but stupid medication. And when I felt worse after starting Lexapro, that's when my brother was sent to a semi-inpatient treatment facility hours away from their home, so I received even less support. Nothing. The one time my mom did finally come out she was an anxious basket case cause she had left my crazy brother alone for 3 days so she could barely focus on anything.

 

My husband and I were not getting along during that time either. He just didn't get it. He tried, I guess, but he thought it was mind over matter and I was letting myself feel the way I felt. So without saying it, he made me feel like I was weak. He and his whole family are very emotionally shut off. They don't handle emotions well at all. He used to when we first got married, but in the course of maturing further he has become more and more like his dad. Except he does actually try to understand these days. He just has no idea what I'm going through, so he struggles to know what to do or how to help. Nor does he have the time. Which isn't his fault because I fully agreed and pushed him to go to school.

 

As you can tell, I still have pent up frustration over that particular time in my life. I guess I really liked how Lexapro Me didn't need help. Didn't need to count on other people. I was confident and capable and didn't need much help. I just had no idea it was temporary.

 

I should be getting an appt. with a new therapist soon. An actual PhD Psychologist. I've been seeing a counselor who I found out is strictly a family therapist, which explains why she seems clueless when it comes to medications and their affects. I'm hoping the psychologist will have a better understanding of what's happening to me...

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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Something I keep forgetting to mention. About 2 weeks ago I started a new bottle of Prozac. I had started the Prozac bridge with this manufacturer of fluoxetine which was in the capsule form, and then the next refill was a different manufacturer which was a pill form. I asked why this was, and the pharmacy tech said they always order from whoever has the lowest price, so the generics change often. Ya know, cause they don't give a s*** about people possibly being sensitive to this kind of change. Whatever.

 

Anyway, I switched over to the pill form fine. But then by next refill, it was back to the capsules (but not sure if it was the same manufacturer as the original capsules I started with). I took my usual dose of the new bottle and within 2 hours started to notice something was off with me. I slowly began to feel anxiety. But it was different. It was like an impending doom anxiety. And I felt strange and uncomfortable in my normal routine.

 

I really hated it. I ended up allowing myself to take a .5 Ativan. I was so afraid I was on the brink of another adverse reaction. But thankfully the next morning I seemed to be stabilized as much as I was before starting the new bottle.

 

Point is, this was the first time I finally thought I needed to get off this crap. If I had that reaction, does it only prove more that my nervous system is sensitized? I'm afraid that if just a manufacture change affects me, how will I react to a 10% drop?

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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  • Administrator

That's right, many, many women are diagnosed with PPD and drugged inappropriately.

 

Yes, some people feel the changes in manufacturer. Note that your reaction lasted only one day.

 

You don't need to find excuses to continue on Prozac. If you wish to continue taking Prozac or any antidepressant, you don't need to explain that here.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Sunny, there's no doubt that you are sensitized. Look down the road ten years...where do you think your sensitized nervous system will be? How will mothering be going? I was a Prozac girl, determined to treat my mental problems "responsibly" unlike others in my family who just did the best they could. It so did not work out well for me. So now I am tapering in percentages too small to be worth calculating. Thank goodness Prozac comes in a liquid:). But it is not easy, but (I hope) it will be worth it in the long run. My dad, the source of whatever "bad genes" I have, died last month. It hurt to look at him sometimes, but he lived well. So many people told of how he touched their lives, and especially of how you felt like the most important person in the room when you talked with him, he had an incredible ability to be present with people. I would take that legacy over the comfort of drugs any day and ESPECIALLY over the side effects. And I think the only lifestyle treatment he ever embraced was a Mountain Dew every morning...you and I can both do better than that :)

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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I'm not looking for excuses, more so trying to really understand where my NS is at so I can plan appropriately. Like maybe to be safe I should start with a 5% drop and see how I react.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment

Sunny, there's no doubt that you are sensitized. Look down the road ten years...where do you think your sensitized nervous system will be? How will mothering be going? I was a Prozac girl, determined to treat my mental problems "responsibly" unlike others in my family who just did the best they could. It so did not work out well for me. So now I am tapering in percentages too small to be worth calculating. Thank goodness Prozac comes in a liquid:). But it is not easy, but (I hope) it will be worth it in the long run. My dad, the source of whatever "bad genes" I have, died last month. It hurt to look at him sometimes, but he lived well. So many people told of how he touched their lives, and especially of how you felt like the most important person in the room when you talked with him, he had an incredible ability to be present with people. I would take that legacy over the comfort of drugs any day and ESPECIALLY over the side effects. And I think the only lifestyle treatment he ever embraced was a Mountain Dew every morning...you and I can both do better than that :)

That's something I try to not focus on. Well, like my parents are both very happy and successful people. Never have they dealt with mood disorders. Both my grandmothers are still alive and so healthy and happy. So I try to look to their genes and focus on being more like them.

 

It my grandfathers, and uncles on my dad's side that have all the issues. Both my grandfathers had schizophrenia. One developed it at a young age, the other later in life. And my dad's brothers have all lead horrible, despicable lives. I've been sheltered from them and their kids my whole life because of how dangerous and criminal they are. My dad is the only one of 3 sons who was an honest, decent human being. So that part of the gene pool scares me and I try not to focus on it. I'm trying to channel the good in my family. Which I know I have, because premeds I was always concerned and caring. So I know I am good and capable of leading a healthy, honest life.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment

Absolutely you are! I just think when we see things happen in our families that we don't want in our own mental health, it is easy to think drugs will make it easier. I just think living with care will work better. I had just adopted a baby when Instarted my second round of Prozac. The expense, drama, trauma has been much worse for the meds...now that I can see down the road 15 years.

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

Link to comment

Meimeiquest,

 

Now that I see your sig (they don't show on my phone) was your bipolar diagnoses a result similar to mine?

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Please, sunny, a bipolar diagnosis made when someone is experiencing adverse effects from drugs is not a valid diagnosis.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I got my bi-polar diagnosis when I had adverse reactions to drugs and I believed it. 

20 lost years and many many drugs later, I know different, but I was told I would need

medication for life.  

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Sunny, Heavy sigh, I wrote you a message that I lost. Anyway, it was similar...one round of Prozac in my 20's instead of dealing with issues, Dr. advised me to restart in late 30's after adopting and tired, slowly became more tired and had muscle pains, finally depressed in 45. New AD, manic in 3 months. Dr. said no biggie, stopped AD, I had reactions to replacement, antipsychotic meds, then things went way south into crazy anxiety that I now see was WD from pulling the AD. Then I was seen as really bipolar....and that's how I went from "soccer mom" to poly drugged. You will have tough times (everyone does), but it is so not worth that.

 

I do think I may have a genetic makeup that predisposes me towards some mood instability. But genes don't cause mental illness, individual genes govern tiny little things like how active an enzyme is., and they are often modifiable by lifestyle, which is what epigenetics is about. I think I will always have to work on my physical and mental health more than some, but that's not the end of the world. And I am not saying that you have genetic issues, but how can you go wrong by trying to grow in every way of caring for yourself and your family? I look at it not as "What is my diagnosis" but as "What do I need to do today". Today, I need to get off these drugs, and then we'll deal with whatever is there.

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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Please, sunny, a bipolar diagnosis made when someone is experiencing adverse effects from drugs is not a valid diagnosis.

I understand that now. It's just reassuring to hear about others who have been put through the same.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment

I got my bi-polar diagnosis when I had adverse reactions to drugs and I believed it.

20 lost years and many many drugs later, I know different, but I was told I would need

medication for life.

I'll never forget the first time I tried to come off lexapro (via my pdocs 25% drop method) and having such a sudden depressive reaction, my pdoc barely listened to my concerns and all she wanted to hear was that it didn't work, so therefore I needed to meds the rest if my life. Gave me the "it's like being diabetic" speech. I listened to her, despite my gut telling me it wasn't me, it was the med. it made me feel the same way I felt when I started Lexapro, which she told me at the time was "just a side affect - keep taking it and it will go away". I knew it was BS but I trusted her because society raises you on believing and doing everything a doctor says. It almost felt illegal for me to go against her. I wish I knew better to listen to myself and research more. So damn naive.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment

Sunny, Heavy sigh, I wrote you a message that I lost. Anyway, it was similar...one round of Prozac in my 20's instead of dealing with issues, Dr. advised me to restart in late 30's after adopting and tired, slowly became more tired and had muscle pains, finally depressed in 45. New AD, manic in 3 months. Dr. said no biggie, stopped AD, I had reactions to replacement, antipsychotic meds, then things went way south into crazy anxiety that I now see was WD from pulling the AD. Then I was seen as really bipolar....and that's how I went from "soccer mom" to poly drugged. You will have tough times (everyone does), but it is so not worth that.

 

I do think I may have a genetic makeup that predisposes me towards some mood instability. But genes don't cause mental illness, individual genes govern tiny little things like how active an enzyme is., and they are often modifiable by lifestyle, which is what epigenetics is about. I think I will always have to work on my physical and mental health more than some, but that's not the end of the world. And I am not saying that you have genetic issues, but how can you go wrong by trying to grow in every way of caring for yourself and your family? I look at it not as "What is my diagnosis" but as "What do I need to do today". Today, I need to get off these drugs, and then we'll deal with whatever is there.

Such a shame...I miss the happy "soccer mom" me. Or rather, "Tee Ball Mom" since that's officially what I am right now :)

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

She will be back  :)

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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We are earning our masters degrees in "My doctor is my consultant, not my decision maker."

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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So I've been trying to find time to write out a whole prep post to get ready to start my taper, but I literally can't get more than a few minutes to dedicate to it!! I want a good 2-3 hours just to study the website to get ready to start tapering.

 

I have a quick question though, are hormonal changes at all known to cause an adverse affect to medication you're otherwise stable on? This is related to when I first got pregnant with my daughter. I was totally stable and fine on my medication, but the hormonal surge must have caused some kind of adverse affect because it's the only time I went into a episode of "mania" that my pdoc describes without messing with my medication. I had a week straight of insane emotions that either caused the severe agitated anxiety or was a result of it. I know it was RIGHT when my body began surging pregnancy hormones so it must have been caused by that. But my medication was stable so I'm wondering if it's at all known to do that? I just got a bit panicked when I remembered that one time I did have a "manic" episode not caused by medication so I am trying to not let it cause me to second guess my belief. I know I tend to overreact and I'm really trying to make a conscious effort to not do that. But information reassures me.

 

I even have another question but don't have time anymore ugh. Busy weekend!!

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment

Can I just say...I still sometimes have really low moments where I feel hopeless about everything. And I understand it's a wave of WD from Lexapro still. I really, really wish I could have tapered straight from Lexapro. I'm worried despite a slow taper from Prozac, I'll still be suffering from Lexapro WD for who knows how long...it's not as bad as it was but I know it can get worse over time. Kind of feeling hopeless right now :(

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment

I did a quick google search to try and find something reassuring for me and found this article. He describes what happened to him, especially in the very beginning with the change of thoughts and worsening depression, and it sounds so much like me. I needed this.

https://www.madinamerica.com/2013/10/story-fight-antidepressants/

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment

Yes, another post. I'm really gearing up to start my taper so I've been reading up about making a liquid solution of my Prozac.

 

I realize going slow is the best, but my eyelid twitching continues and it's a really big concern of mine. After reading in Prozac Backlash about discovering these meds can not only cause tics, but conceal them during use makes me worried about the chance that as I taper lower, more tics will surface. NO, this is not me looking for more excuses to stay on it. I want off. I just want expert opinions on this. Does it happen often? Should I be worried? Or is there a good chance it will go away as I lower the dose?

 

I did bring it up to my pdoc and he said something else that frightened me "we will prescribe [some medication name I didn't catch] to help with that side effect of Prozac if it doesn't go away". Awesome, thanks, let's add to my cocktail.

 

I told him that I know of tardive dyskinesia and am concerned about that, and he said not to worry because it's only caused by antipsychotics.

 

So, he's no help to me. I read most cases come from antipsychotic use, but also antidepressants.

 

I guess just looking for more support and information to help with my reassurance. It makes me want to taper a bit faster, but I know that's not a good idea.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment

No thoughts?

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment

Sunny, I don't have much to offer. I think permanent dyskinesia from an AD would be extremely rare, especially since you haven't been on them a long time (from my perspective you haven't been alive for long, lol). I had a mild issue, constantly pushing my tongue up against the back of my top teeth, at the end of my antipsychotic taper, but it went away by itself. I think you have at least a 99.9% chance of that happening.

 

I still fantasize about just "ripping the bandaid off", but I'd say we both have at least a 99.9% of that ending badly. Hang in there, you are making great progress!

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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  • Administrator

You have the tic symptom now. Your choices are the following:

 

- Ignore the symptom

- Increase your Prozac dose

- Switch to another drug

- Add another drug

- Decrease the Prozac dose and see if the tic goes away

- Quit Prozac cold turkey

- None of the above, continue to worry about the tic

 

Which choice seems best to you? Whenever you come up with a worry about the future, try drawing up a list of your options and get perspective on it.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Alto, I'm afraid I'll have to say this again, but you are priceless :)

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Sunny, I don't have much to offer. I think permanent dyskinesia from an AD would be extremely rare, especially since you haven't been on them a long time (from my perspective you haven't been alive for long, lol). I had a mild issue, constantly pushing my tongue up against the back of my top teeth, at the end of my antipsychotic taper, but it went away by itself. I think you have at least a 99.9% chance of that happening.

I still fantasize about just "ripping the bandaid off", but I'd say we both have at least a 99.9% of that ending badly. Hang in there, you are making great progress!

Thank you! That's all I was looking for. I know you can read so many things on the internet about things that can happen, and being someone going through this still learning about this "other side" of psychiatric medications, it's hard to not jump to conclusions because I just don't have the experience and vast education to be able to make confident conclusions myself. So a educated guess from someone more knowledgable just helps. Doesn't make me feel so alone in this.

 

And thank you for saying I've made progress!! I'd like to think I really have. I'm really working on it. Unfortunately, much of my GAD is consumed with anticipatory anxiety, if you haven't been able to guess that by now. But instead of thinking drugs will fix it anymore, I am working on fixing it myself. It's on the top of my list to talk to my new Psychologist about (whenever I do get a call for my first appt.) so it really does mean a lot to hear that, thanks.

 

  

You have the tic symptom now. Your choices are the following:- Ignore the symptom- Increase your Prozac dose- Switch to another drug- Add another drug- Decrease the Prozac dose and see if the tic goes away- Quit Prozac cold turkey- None of the above, continue to worry about the ticWhich choice seems best to you? Whenever you come up with a worry about the future, try drawing up a list of your options and get perspective on it.

I get what you're saying, and I know lowering the dose is my best/only option. But as stated above, I'm really working on changing my thinking. Support is a major aid in this for me. As someone once called me, I'm a terrible "self-soother". I'm working on it.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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Something else I did today to help me -- I left the PPD groups I'm apart of. I haven't been going to them much lately because I began to notice it's a huge trigger for my old ways of thinking. Just this morning I went into one just to see how some ladies are doing, and seeing all the "I finally went to see my doctor and he's starting me on [enter AD choice here]. I feel so much better finally getting the help I need" and other mothers cheering her on for making the "brave" decision to get help and do what's best for her and her family. It immediately encourages my old way of thinking, that drugs are the responsible course of action. And I think it's only the encouragement and supportive atmosphere that influences me to think like that! Plus almost 5 years of believing the same (aside from a few doubts I was too afraid to give a chance).

 

Thankfully my logic and understanding of adverse affects and WD has been growing, so I was able to pull myself out of that old comfort zone I used to cling to and leave the groups.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

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That is a good development, sunny, good for you, you're "un-patienting" yourself. How about joining groups for young mothers?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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