strawberry17: Hi from strawberry17

[strawberry17]

Alto - I don't think there is any dilution, I get prescribed a standard bottle of liquid Prozac 20mg = 5ml and I just measure out 1ml straight from the bottle with my 1ml syringe at the moment.

 

Nikki, on the whole for most of this 4.5 year taper, I have sneaked it past my nervous system, until about Sep last year when my drops got too big as a percentage of previous drop and I unravelled spectacularly, I think I am getting back on track now, intending to stay put at 1ml for quite a while before micro tapering.

[peggy]

i'm rooting for you Strawberry - you are my inspiration!

[strawberry17]

Thanks that is a compliment Peggy, hope I don't let you down

[Altostrata]

I'm sorry I was confused, strawb. I thought you were down to 1mg.

 

If 20mg = 5ml, then there are 4mg in 1mL.

 

If you are taking 1mL, you are taking 4mg Prozac. To make a 10% reduction, you would decrease by .1mL (.4mg Prozac). A 5% reduction would be .05mL (.2mg Prozac).

 

Increasing the dilution might make measuring easier. For example, you may wish to make it 1mg = 1mL. To do this, add 10mL (40mg) of the 20:5 solution to 30mL of water. Now you have 40mL of liquid containing 40mg Prozac, or 1mg in 1mL.

 

If you wish to take 4mg Prozac, take 4mL of the diluted liquid. A 5% reduction would be .2mL, for a dose of 3.8mL (3.8mg Prozac).

[strawberry17]

Our oldest son (18) was beaten unconcious on a night out this week end and ambulanced to hospital, he is ok now, badly bruised/cut etc and wants to press charges, there may be CCTV footage, I was calm all week end and did what had to be done but I feel like it's hit me last night/today

[flower]

Oh my strawberry..prayers and thoughts are with you...I have 2 sons..They are rough boys. I've had alot of worries also. Hugs for you this time ladybug!!!

[Baxter]

Strawberry, that's awful! My thoughts are with you and your son. May he recover completely from his injuries.

[Skyler]

Our oldest son (18) was beaten unconcious on a night out this week end and ambulanced to hospital, he is ok now, badly bruised/cut etc and wants to press charges, there may be CCTV footage, I was calm all week end and did what had to be done but I feel like it's hit me last night/today

Hi Strawberry, I'm very sorry to read this and hope he recovers completely soon. I'll be watching for updates.

 

Skyler

[tezza]

Hi Strawberry,

 

I'm so sorry this happened to your son. I will watch for updates, as well.

 

Love,

Tezza

[Nikki]

Strawberry, OMG how awful. Is he doing better and is he out of the Hospital?

 

I can't even think of words to describe the kids who did this to him. Right now I am angry.

 

Will send prayers your way. You and your husband are a team and have each other to cope.

 

Keep us posted.

 

Many hugs

 

Nikki

[strawberry17]

Thank you all for you're good wishes, he is ok, just facially bruised and scabbed now, he was unconsious from about 2am to 5am, the hospital let us take him and his friend home at 6am, him and his friend are going to press charges, can't let people get away with mindless violence, while Alex was out cold on the pavement they threatened his friend with a knifing if he called the police, the police were called, nobody was knifed thank God, and the scummy people then proceeded to pretend to be "helping" Alex and his friend and that's what they told the police, we have since found out they have previous form for violent behaviour, and they chose to do this right in the town centre outside a bank where there is CCTV so hopefully it will be caught on camera. It could have been so much worse, someone was knifed the day before in broad daylight. Our town used to be a sleepy market town when I was growing up, a quiet backwater, it's now becoming like an overspill of rough estates in London.

[Altostrata]

Terrible. So sorry, strawberry. Healing thoughts to your son.

[peggy]

Strawberry, I don't know how I missed this! I am so sorry to hear this - it is not surprising that you would feel anxiety after all that. I am so glad the boys are pressing charges.

[Nikki]

So give us an update......how is your son and have they caught the monsters who did this?

[strawberry17]

Yes the boys who did this were caught actually at the scene, the details are all very hazy because Alex was knocked out and can't remember a lot, and I haven't seen his friend to talk to since the night itself. The police have been talking to Alex and his friend, and apparently the boys who did this already have form, and as it was right outside a bank there ought to be CCTV footage, we're waiting to hear about the CCTV, and expecting a phone call on Friday about how things will proceed. Alex has bounced back really well (oh to be so young and resiliant) and went back to work on Tuesday, he says his jaw aches and he took photos of the cuts and bruises for evidence.

I've bounced back remarkably well from it as well, and so has Peter, I'm one of those people who is very calm in a crisis and then it hits me after it's over.

[strawberry17]

Five years! Five b***** years since I started my blog and my taper off Prozac.

[peggy]

congratulations!

what a milestone!!! - at least you are on a tiny dose and stable

[dalsaan]

Well done strawb. You're an inspiration. One dimension of courage is to keep persisting in the face of diversity. You've got courage in spades

 

Dalsaan

[strawberry17]

Yes but you know I still don't feel quite as good as I did say this time last year, I'm still getting a lot of anxiety first thing in the morning, and a bit of insomnia now and then. Also, I feel a little like a deer caught in the headlights with this last 4mg/1ml, I darnen't make another move for fear of what will happen, it's that old thing of desperately would love to get that last little bit of drug out of my system but terrified of having my mental health turned upside down if I make a move.

 

Dalsaan did you mean "in the face of diversity" or "adversity"? Either way was appropriate!

[dalsaan]

Ah yes, my brain at its sharpest -not.

[tezza]

Sorry if I'm asking a question that's already been answered, but do yo have the 1mL oral syringe? Maybe you can slowly sneak that last bit away.

 

I do understand the fear of tapering further at this point; I'm getting a little antsy about tapering my very small amount of Risperdal too.

 

I'll likely have to dilute it soon to make smaller cuts possible.

 

Love, Tezza

[strawberry17]

Tezza yes I do have the 1ml syringe, and I have swatted up the possible strategies including further dilution. Just scared to do it, I'm thinking I'll leave it til the summer to start again.

[strawberry17]

I am in need of some TLC and hand holding. I'm really really struggling again, insomnia and anxiety has really ramped up again, mainly on the nights before work, I dread the nights before work, it's crazy because I actually am really happy in my job and I feel like I'm being mind f*****. I'm meant to be at work today, but I didn't sleep a wink last night, not one wink, I was so anxious about not sleeping, it's been a nightmare, I'm going to have to phone in sick today and go in tomorrow instead. I really feel like I'm losing the plot and don't know how to get it back again. I updosed to 1ml ages ago before Christmas, and that helped somewhat. I just want to get back to where I was this time last year, functioning normally....so confused about whether I should stay where I am at 1ml or maybe updose a bit? or maybe I should never have tried to come off in the first place, so depressed and exhausted

[dalsaan]

Hi strawb

 

Sorry to hear you are struggling. Have you ever tried sleep hypnosis? I have a couple of iPhone apps and sleep headphones. They have helped me at times. It can take a while to kick in but it does distract the anxiety

 

I hope things turn around for you

 

Dalsaan xx

[peggy]

Dear Strawberry,

 

There are several of us on the board at the moment having some struggles - maybe we should all go away somewhere together - misery loves company!

 

Is there something else going on? I think we also have to remember that we still may need to deal with any underlying issues that might have brought us to these medications in the first place.

 

Sending you some peaceful, gently calming, sleepy time vibes.

[strawberry17]

I was originally put on sertraline (zoloft) years ago for post natal depression, that was the start of it. Although looking right back into childhood I was always the anxious type. I've done so many things over the years like counselling, CBT and anxiety management.

I just feel like I've forgotten what it's like to function "normally" and yet it was only a few months ago.

All going away somewhere sounds perfect.

[tezza]

Hi strawberry,

 

I'm really sorry you're going through this rough patch. Sometimes it feels like we are all in the 'Twilight Zone', an old horror series that used to come on TV. I haven't watched it in years but I remember it always had a weird twisted fate for the characters.

 

We seem to feel good for a while, then that weird twist pops back up again. I'm so sorry about your not getting any sleep at all. For whatever reason, night before las, I only got 1-1/2 hour of sleep and felt terrible all day yesterday. Maybe you'll sleep good tonight, I sure hope so.

 

Many hugs and healing vibes being sent to you!!

 

Love,

Tezza

[strawberry17]

Thanks Tezza, stupid thing is I'll probably sleep like a log tonight and go to work tomorrow and I'll be like "what the *** was that all about?", until it happens again one day next week....it is like a twisted nightmare and I feel so embarrased at work about it.

[peggy]

Hi Strawberry,

 

There has been a lot of discussion about poor sleep and anxiety about sleep on the board in the last couple of weeks - do you think this may have ramped up your anxiety? I know it does for me, that thought can drop in at the wrong moment and seize my brain and then if i am not careful it's all over red rover.

[basildev]

Hey Strawb,

 

Oh you poor thing - not a wink of sleep. I'm so sorry to hear that.

 

I am exactly where you are right now regarding the whole sleep phobia thing. It's a real 'chicken or egg' thing isn't it?

 

When we don't sleep well the ruminating thoughts about never getting a good night's sleep again get us (a withdrawal symptom in itself) and poor sleep exacerbates the ruminating thoughts!

 

One thing that helps me to fall asleep is to resign myself to the fact that I'm not going to sleep. This works for me sometimes. I say 'okay I know I'm not going to fall asleep so I'm just going to relax in bed'. Of course one day is different to the next with these horrible symptoms.

 

I was just saying to my husband last night: insomnia is the LONELIEST thing in the world. When you're lying awake in the middle of the night, you feel so desperate and alone - like everybody else on the planet is sleeping except you.

 

I really REALLY hope you feel better soon.

 

Sending you hugs

[Nikki]

Hi Strawberry...

 

Anxiety and Insomnia, sadly they tend to go hand-in-hand. Can you tell me in mgs. what dosage of Prozac you are at?

 

There is no crime or shame in updosing. You are not letting yourself down.

Insomnia is rough, anxiety is rougher.

 

I do not stay home regardless of how tired or anxious I am. I am not telling you this to sound like a martyr.

 

Getting out cuts my anxiety in half and working usually brings on sleep that night for me. Or at least that is how things play out for me. Sometimes I just say okay I can't sleep and just accept it and let my mind wander. Not easy either.

 

On another post a few weeks back I said I took a Xanax and it put me to sleep and I woke up feeling refreshed. Neither you or I have benzo issues. It is an option if you have an ongoing problem with anxiety/insomnia.

 

Taking one pill can help break the cycle and make a huge difference.

 

I hope you go into dreamland tonight and wake up feeling well rested

[strawberry17]

Well I don't mind admitting I still feel shite, and it doesn't seem to be getting any better, I have a night where I'm awake all night then the next night I sleep like a log, and so on, and my anxiety as a result is through the roof and feeling pretty depressed as well. I seem to be extraordinarily good at hiding it in real life, when I confide in anyone they tell me I always seem the same and they had no idea. Stoic upbringing.

Nikki I'm on 4mg Prozac now. Me and the other half are having serious conversations about updosing again to see if it helps.

[tezza]

Bless your heart, Strawberry! I'm very sorry you're going through this.

 

I had one night of absolutely no sleep a few days ago and felt SO bad the next day. Like you, I slept good the next night. I got about four hrs last night but can't complain when I read what you are enduring.

 

My heart goes out to you, sincerely, and I hope and pray it gets better very soon!

 

Hugs and love,

Tezza

[flower]

Strawberry, I watch for you everyday, we will get through this. I know how hard it is to go with no sleep. It makes me sick and I take a pill to sleep. Nothing seems to help but our old friend Father Time. My Doc has told me how easy Prozac is to taper because of the half life..Is she really so clueless. Here's wishing peace for you today.

[strawberry17]

Thanks you two, I was meant to be involved in a fund raiser this evening (I'm treasurer on a Scouts committee), we do it every year, but this year I felt I needed it like a hole in the head, hey perhaps I DO need a hole in the head LOL So P phoned up and our Group Scout Leader who is very lovley and caring is stepping into my shoes for me tonight. It's a race night so I handle all the money/winnings. I said I'll do all the usual bagging, number crunching and banking tomorrow.

[Altostrata]

A sleep doctor told me that pattern of not sleeping one night then sleeping the next is called oscillation.

 

Eventually, it evens out.