Pugknows Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Hi Solang! May I ask what Fisher Wallace is? I'm having sleep problems too. Hope you're having a good day today. January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
Solang Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 Hi Pugknows, I sent you a private message just in case, but I'll repeat here: The Fisher Wallace is a "Cranial Electrical Stimulation" device. There's a thread about it, along with other electrical devices that may or may not help. If you search this site you can find the thread. I really hope you find some relief!! <p>On Zoloft (sertraline) since 1995, Wellbutrin added in 1999. MOST RECENT TAPER HISTORY:APRIL 20, 2014: 50Z, 300W // APRIL 21, 2014: 43.75Z, 300W, 2X20 mins FW on 4 // JUNE 19, 2014: 37.5Z, 300W, Discontinued FW // AUG 20, 2014: 31.25Z, 300W // SEP 24, 2014: Accidentally decreased W to 150mg and had suicidal ideation and crying spells (didn't realize I had done this until Oct 9) // SEP 27, 2014: 34Z, 150W // OCT 9, 2014: 34Z, 225W // OCT 25, 2014: 31.25Z, 225W // NOV 22, 2014: 31.25Z, 187.5W // DEC 28, 2014: 28.12Z, 187.5W // JAN 31, 2015: 28.12Z, 168.75W // MAR 02, 2015: 25Z, 168.75W // MAR 30, 2015: 25Z, 150W HALFWAY DOWN ON BOTH!! // April 6 added Fisher Wallace setting 4X20 mins at bedtime for insomnia // April 29 discontinued FW // MAY 7, 2015: 22.5Z, 150W // JUN 10, 2015: 22.5Z, 131.25W // JUL 15, 2015: 20.25Z, 131.25W // AUG 13, 2015: 20.25Z, 112.5W // SEP 10, 2015: 18Z, 112.5W // OCT 13, 2015: 18Z, 93.7W // JAN 23, 2015: REINSTATED TO 20Z, 75W - HOLDING UNTIL MAY DUE TO POSSIBLE SAD Link to comment
Pugknows Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Thank you for your message and reply. I hope everything you try works to make you feel better. January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Hi Solang, I am very close to trying the Fisher Wallace, hoping it may reduce some of my withdrawal symptoms. I read through your thread, and the thread over in Symptoms and Self care: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4829-alpha-stim-fisher-wallace-sota-biotuner-pons-and-similar-devices/ One question for you, did you have any ill effects from the Fisher Wallace device? Thanks. (I grew up in the Valley, in that little college town just west of Sac. Hope the rivers don't run dry and you folks get some springtime rainfall.) 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
Solang Posted May 22, 2015 Author Share Posted May 22, 2015 Hi OffEffexor, Not sure why I'm just now (so late) responding, but anyways: No I didn't have any ill effects from the Fisher Wallace. On the other hand, it doesn't appear to do a lot... <p>On Zoloft (sertraline) since 1995, Wellbutrin added in 1999. MOST RECENT TAPER HISTORY:APRIL 20, 2014: 50Z, 300W // APRIL 21, 2014: 43.75Z, 300W, 2X20 mins FW on 4 // JUNE 19, 2014: 37.5Z, 300W, Discontinued FW // AUG 20, 2014: 31.25Z, 300W // SEP 24, 2014: Accidentally decreased W to 150mg and had suicidal ideation and crying spells (didn't realize I had done this until Oct 9) // SEP 27, 2014: 34Z, 150W // OCT 9, 2014: 34Z, 225W // OCT 25, 2014: 31.25Z, 225W // NOV 22, 2014: 31.25Z, 187.5W // DEC 28, 2014: 28.12Z, 187.5W // JAN 31, 2015: 28.12Z, 168.75W // MAR 02, 2015: 25Z, 168.75W // MAR 30, 2015: 25Z, 150W HALFWAY DOWN ON BOTH!! // April 6 added Fisher Wallace setting 4X20 mins at bedtime for insomnia // April 29 discontinued FW // MAY 7, 2015: 22.5Z, 150W // JUN 10, 2015: 22.5Z, 131.25W // JUL 15, 2015: 20.25Z, 131.25W // AUG 13, 2015: 20.25Z, 112.5W // SEP 10, 2015: 18Z, 112.5W // OCT 13, 2015: 18Z, 93.7W // JAN 23, 2015: REINSTATED TO 20Z, 75W - HOLDING UNTIL MAY DUE TO POSSIBLE SAD Link to comment
Solang Posted May 22, 2015 Author Share Posted May 22, 2015 I've been having a LOT of anxiety lately, and I'm not sure how much to attribute to the med redux because I'm also going through massive life changes: moving out of my own apartment in midtown and in with two girlfriends to a house in the suburbs AND starting a new relationship with an awesome guy. Friends have told me that they would be having anxiety too under the circumstances (also, not having a job, living off savings, and hoping to start a new career at some point in the next year.) Life is a rollercoaster right now!!! <p>On Zoloft (sertraline) since 1995, Wellbutrin added in 1999. MOST RECENT TAPER HISTORY:APRIL 20, 2014: 50Z, 300W // APRIL 21, 2014: 43.75Z, 300W, 2X20 mins FW on 4 // JUNE 19, 2014: 37.5Z, 300W, Discontinued FW // AUG 20, 2014: 31.25Z, 300W // SEP 24, 2014: Accidentally decreased W to 150mg and had suicidal ideation and crying spells (didn't realize I had done this until Oct 9) // SEP 27, 2014: 34Z, 150W // OCT 9, 2014: 34Z, 225W // OCT 25, 2014: 31.25Z, 225W // NOV 22, 2014: 31.25Z, 187.5W // DEC 28, 2014: 28.12Z, 187.5W // JAN 31, 2015: 28.12Z, 168.75W // MAR 02, 2015: 25Z, 168.75W // MAR 30, 2015: 25Z, 150W HALFWAY DOWN ON BOTH!! // April 6 added Fisher Wallace setting 4X20 mins at bedtime for insomnia // April 29 discontinued FW // MAY 7, 2015: 22.5Z, 150W // JUN 10, 2015: 22.5Z, 131.25W // JUL 15, 2015: 20.25Z, 131.25W // AUG 13, 2015: 20.25Z, 112.5W // SEP 10, 2015: 18Z, 112.5W // OCT 13, 2015: 18Z, 93.7W // JAN 23, 2015: REINSTATED TO 20Z, 75W - HOLDING UNTIL MAY DUE TO POSSIBLE SAD Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted May 22, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 22, 2015 Hi Solange , I've been having an excellent result from using the Sota Bio Tuner , so I just went to the Fisher Wallace site and had a chat with an advisor. They suggested the best result will come using the device for 2 sessions a day , spaced at least 6 hours apart. (When I saw your sig. I initially thought you were doing four 20 minutes sessions at a time , and it made me curious.) Sending good thoughts , Fresh The discussion about different devices for CES therapy is in Symptoms and Self Care: "Alpha Stim , Fisher Wallace Sota Biotuner Pons and similar devices" 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Solang Posted September 10, 2015 Author Share Posted September 10, 2015 Haven't been on here for awhile, mostly because I was traveling through the Pacific Northwest with my boyfriend all summer. I'm doing pretty well, except when I think about money! Which isn't surprising considering that I'm still living off (dwindling) savings and the thought of going back to a 9 to 5 job in an office makes me suicidal. Perhaps that's a sign of depression, but I think more likely it's a reaction to the constant traumatization I experienced at my last job. So I'm working on having faith that things are going to be OK, and I will not end up as a homeless bag lady. I've noticed a pattern, which I've perhaps written on here before, that about one to two weeks after a Zoloft reduction I have a lot of trouble sleeping, which gets better after another 2 weeks or so. I'm also noticing that the longer the taper goes on, the more impatient I am to be off the damn drugs completely. Which is of course when I need to be MORE careful, methodical and patient. This forum really helps with that part: realizing that the lower the dose the more crucial it is to go slowly. Also remaining aware of the dire consequences that can result from not going slowly. I CAN DO THIS!!! WE CAN DO THIS!!! Thank you to everyone on this forum!!!! <p>On Zoloft (sertraline) since 1995, Wellbutrin added in 1999. MOST RECENT TAPER HISTORY:APRIL 20, 2014: 50Z, 300W // APRIL 21, 2014: 43.75Z, 300W, 2X20 mins FW on 4 // JUNE 19, 2014: 37.5Z, 300W, Discontinued FW // AUG 20, 2014: 31.25Z, 300W // SEP 24, 2014: Accidentally decreased W to 150mg and had suicidal ideation and crying spells (didn't realize I had done this until Oct 9) // SEP 27, 2014: 34Z, 150W // OCT 9, 2014: 34Z, 225W // OCT 25, 2014: 31.25Z, 225W // NOV 22, 2014: 31.25Z, 187.5W // DEC 28, 2014: 28.12Z, 187.5W // JAN 31, 2015: 28.12Z, 168.75W // MAR 02, 2015: 25Z, 168.75W // MAR 30, 2015: 25Z, 150W HALFWAY DOWN ON BOTH!! // April 6 added Fisher Wallace setting 4X20 mins at bedtime for insomnia // April 29 discontinued FW // MAY 7, 2015: 22.5Z, 150W // JUN 10, 2015: 22.5Z, 131.25W // JUL 15, 2015: 20.25Z, 131.25W // AUG 13, 2015: 20.25Z, 112.5W // SEP 10, 2015: 18Z, 112.5W // OCT 13, 2015: 18Z, 93.7W // JAN 23, 2015: REINSTATED TO 20Z, 75W - HOLDING UNTIL MAY DUE TO POSSIBLE SAD Link to comment
Solang Posted November 18, 2015 Author Share Posted November 18, 2015 My emotional health seems to be sliding downward, which I know is partly related to the change in seasons. I'm hoping that's the main reason for the slide, because it's kind of scary to think it's all from the antidepressant reduction. If it's the reduction, it makes me wonder if I can really do it or if I will have to stay on them my whole life. I haven't gotten to the point of bad insomnia, which gives me hope. It's the suicidal thoughts and crying spells that really scare me. I'm going to look up Seasonal Affective Disorder on this forum to see if it's really common to have trouble in the fall/winter. As it is, I'm planning to stop reducing until May. <p>On Zoloft (sertraline) since 1995, Wellbutrin added in 1999. MOST RECENT TAPER HISTORY:APRIL 20, 2014: 50Z, 300W // APRIL 21, 2014: 43.75Z, 300W, 2X20 mins FW on 4 // JUNE 19, 2014: 37.5Z, 300W, Discontinued FW // AUG 20, 2014: 31.25Z, 300W // SEP 24, 2014: Accidentally decreased W to 150mg and had suicidal ideation and crying spells (didn't realize I had done this until Oct 9) // SEP 27, 2014: 34Z, 150W // OCT 9, 2014: 34Z, 225W // OCT 25, 2014: 31.25Z, 225W // NOV 22, 2014: 31.25Z, 187.5W // DEC 28, 2014: 28.12Z, 187.5W // JAN 31, 2015: 28.12Z, 168.75W // MAR 02, 2015: 25Z, 168.75W // MAR 30, 2015: 25Z, 150W HALFWAY DOWN ON BOTH!! // April 6 added Fisher Wallace setting 4X20 mins at bedtime for insomnia // April 29 discontinued FW // MAY 7, 2015: 22.5Z, 150W // JUN 10, 2015: 22.5Z, 131.25W // JUL 15, 2015: 20.25Z, 131.25W // AUG 13, 2015: 20.25Z, 112.5W // SEP 10, 2015: 18Z, 112.5W // OCT 13, 2015: 18Z, 93.7W // JAN 23, 2015: REINSTATED TO 20Z, 75W - HOLDING UNTIL MAY DUE TO POSSIBLE SAD Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 18, 2015 Administrator Share Posted November 18, 2015 Solang, did we talk about a light box for the seasonal symptoms? There's a topic in Symptoms about it. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Solang Posted November 18, 2015 Author Share Posted November 18, 2015 Yes, I have a blue light box but it doesn't seem to do much unfortunately, thanks for the suggestion :-) <p>On Zoloft (sertraline) since 1995, Wellbutrin added in 1999. MOST RECENT TAPER HISTORY:APRIL 20, 2014: 50Z, 300W // APRIL 21, 2014: 43.75Z, 300W, 2X20 mins FW on 4 // JUNE 19, 2014: 37.5Z, 300W, Discontinued FW // AUG 20, 2014: 31.25Z, 300W // SEP 24, 2014: Accidentally decreased W to 150mg and had suicidal ideation and crying spells (didn't realize I had done this until Oct 9) // SEP 27, 2014: 34Z, 150W // OCT 9, 2014: 34Z, 225W // OCT 25, 2014: 31.25Z, 225W // NOV 22, 2014: 31.25Z, 187.5W // DEC 28, 2014: 28.12Z, 187.5W // JAN 31, 2015: 28.12Z, 168.75W // MAR 02, 2015: 25Z, 168.75W // MAR 30, 2015: 25Z, 150W HALFWAY DOWN ON BOTH!! // April 6 added Fisher Wallace setting 4X20 mins at bedtime for insomnia // April 29 discontinued FW // MAY 7, 2015: 22.5Z, 150W // JUN 10, 2015: 22.5Z, 131.25W // JUL 15, 2015: 20.25Z, 131.25W // AUG 13, 2015: 20.25Z, 112.5W // SEP 10, 2015: 18Z, 112.5W // OCT 13, 2015: 18Z, 93.7W // JAN 23, 2015: REINSTATED TO 20Z, 75W - HOLDING UNTIL MAY DUE TO POSSIBLE SAD Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 18, 2015 Administrator Share Posted November 18, 2015 How about liquid vitamin D3? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Solang Posted November 18, 2015 Author Share Posted November 18, 2015 I take 5000 units a day in a liquid filled gel capsule. Been taking it for years. <p>On Zoloft (sertraline) since 1995, Wellbutrin added in 1999. MOST RECENT TAPER HISTORY:APRIL 20, 2014: 50Z, 300W // APRIL 21, 2014: 43.75Z, 300W, 2X20 mins FW on 4 // JUNE 19, 2014: 37.5Z, 300W, Discontinued FW // AUG 20, 2014: 31.25Z, 300W // SEP 24, 2014: Accidentally decreased W to 150mg and had suicidal ideation and crying spells (didn't realize I had done this until Oct 9) // SEP 27, 2014: 34Z, 150W // OCT 9, 2014: 34Z, 225W // OCT 25, 2014: 31.25Z, 225W // NOV 22, 2014: 31.25Z, 187.5W // DEC 28, 2014: 28.12Z, 187.5W // JAN 31, 2015: 28.12Z, 168.75W // MAR 02, 2015: 25Z, 168.75W // MAR 30, 2015: 25Z, 150W HALFWAY DOWN ON BOTH!! // April 6 added Fisher Wallace setting 4X20 mins at bedtime for insomnia // April 29 discontinued FW // MAY 7, 2015: 22.5Z, 150W // JUN 10, 2015: 22.5Z, 131.25W // JUL 15, 2015: 20.25Z, 131.25W // AUG 13, 2015: 20.25Z, 112.5W // SEP 10, 2015: 18Z, 112.5W // OCT 13, 2015: 18Z, 93.7W // JAN 23, 2015: REINSTATED TO 20Z, 75W - HOLDING UNTIL MAY DUE TO POSSIBLE SAD Link to comment
Solang Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 So my anxiety and crying spells got much worse, and I started getting the really bad cortisol rushes in the wee hours. Unfortunately I have a very high amount of stress right now: my savings are dwindling quickly; I am in a relationship with a wonderful man who is a college professor and we want to avoid me going back to work full time so we can travel together when he is off (which is a lot), but this puts me into a position of dependency and trying to figure out how to make money without having a "regular" job; he lives in the middle of nowhere which puts me isolated from my friends and in snowy, cold weather; I am not getting along with my roommates who WERE my good friends before I moved in with them.... So, the biggest things are totally up in the air right now: job, living situation, primary relationship, support network. This does not mix well with medication reduction!! So, I have reinstated back up 10% to 20 mg Zoloft, and continued reducing Wellbutrin since it is activating. I also became so frightened of the spiral that I took Ativan (.5 mg 3X/day) for 2 days, and Seroquel (50mg at night) for 5 days. I know this might not be the best approach, but it felt like an emergency need to interrupt the anxiety spiral by any means necessary. I do feel like it really helped (I stopped the Seroquel 3 days ago). I think the most important strategy for me is going to be "amygdala retraining" type stuff. I heard about something called "Neurosculpting" recently and have been doing the guided meditations. It was developed by a woman who healed her nervous system of seizures brought on by being struck by lightning. I figure, if she can heal her autonomic nervous system, so can I! The trick is to be disciplined about it - doing the meditations and practices consistently whether I'm having symptoms or not. I'm also going to try adding some magnesium. I did some epsom salt baths and that seems to help, and now I will make homemade epsom salt lotion. I am SO PISSED that I got started on these meds 20 years ago like they were a miracle cure, and in many ways they've ruined my life. Isn't there a class action lawsuit or something? There needs to be!!! GRRRRR!!!! Encouraging words very welcome! <p>On Zoloft (sertraline) since 1995, Wellbutrin added in 1999. MOST RECENT TAPER HISTORY:APRIL 20, 2014: 50Z, 300W // APRIL 21, 2014: 43.75Z, 300W, 2X20 mins FW on 4 // JUNE 19, 2014: 37.5Z, 300W, Discontinued FW // AUG 20, 2014: 31.25Z, 300W // SEP 24, 2014: Accidentally decreased W to 150mg and had suicidal ideation and crying spells (didn't realize I had done this until Oct 9) // SEP 27, 2014: 34Z, 150W // OCT 9, 2014: 34Z, 225W // OCT 25, 2014: 31.25Z, 225W // NOV 22, 2014: 31.25Z, 187.5W // DEC 28, 2014: 28.12Z, 187.5W // JAN 31, 2015: 28.12Z, 168.75W // MAR 02, 2015: 25Z, 168.75W // MAR 30, 2015: 25Z, 150W HALFWAY DOWN ON BOTH!! // April 6 added Fisher Wallace setting 4X20 mins at bedtime for insomnia // April 29 discontinued FW // MAY 7, 2015: 22.5Z, 150W // JUN 10, 2015: 22.5Z, 131.25W // JUL 15, 2015: 20.25Z, 131.25W // AUG 13, 2015: 20.25Z, 112.5W // SEP 10, 2015: 18Z, 112.5W // OCT 13, 2015: 18Z, 93.7W // JAN 23, 2015: REINSTATED TO 20Z, 75W - HOLDING UNTIL MAY DUE TO POSSIBLE SAD Link to comment
Solang Posted August 20, 2017 Author Share Posted August 20, 2017 I'm sorry to report that I once again gave up on going off my medications. This was a while back. I had become consistently suicidal with high anxiety. Nothing and nobody felt safe and I cried at the drop of a hat. At this point I honestly don't know how much of that was withdrawal and how much of it was after effects on the nervous system of a terrible childhood. I don't know whether the drugs make it possible for me to survive despite what I went through, or if the drugs have just caused irreversible damage to my nervous system. I also wonder if they make it possible for me to live in this highly dysfunctional Society. This highly dysfunctional Society is what caused me to have a terrible childhood in the first place and what continues to cause me much anxiety. But unfortunately I can't change society much as I would like to. And I know that there is a political argument for people not taking anti-depressants because perhaps then they would fight for change in the system. But I do not have that kind of energy or resources. So I have decided that my personal well-being is more important than a political idea. And I choose to consider myself lucky that they continue to work for me and the side effects are not that bad. I wish I had a success story to tell. That is why it has taken me so long to post in here. I don't want to discourage others. On the other hand I don't want people to go through the many many attempts that only resulted in suffering and lost opportunities. I am still eternally grateful to this site and to the moderators and users of it. <p>On Zoloft (sertraline) since 1995, Wellbutrin added in 1999. MOST RECENT TAPER HISTORY:APRIL 20, 2014: 50Z, 300W // APRIL 21, 2014: 43.75Z, 300W, 2X20 mins FW on 4 // JUNE 19, 2014: 37.5Z, 300W, Discontinued FW // AUG 20, 2014: 31.25Z, 300W // SEP 24, 2014: Accidentally decreased W to 150mg and had suicidal ideation and crying spells (didn't realize I had done this until Oct 9) // SEP 27, 2014: 34Z, 150W // OCT 9, 2014: 34Z, 225W // OCT 25, 2014: 31.25Z, 225W // NOV 22, 2014: 31.25Z, 187.5W // DEC 28, 2014: 28.12Z, 187.5W // JAN 31, 2015: 28.12Z, 168.75W // MAR 02, 2015: 25Z, 168.75W // MAR 30, 2015: 25Z, 150W HALFWAY DOWN ON BOTH!! // April 6 added Fisher Wallace setting 4X20 mins at bedtime for insomnia // April 29 discontinued FW // MAY 7, 2015: 22.5Z, 150W // JUN 10, 2015: 22.5Z, 131.25W // JUL 15, 2015: 20.25Z, 131.25W // AUG 13, 2015: 20.25Z, 112.5W // SEP 10, 2015: 18Z, 112.5W // OCT 13, 2015: 18Z, 93.7W // JAN 23, 2015: REINSTATED TO 20Z, 75W - HOLDING UNTIL MAY DUE TO POSSIBLE SAD Link to comment
miT Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 Youth trauma doesn't make withdrawing any easier. I kind of have the same doubt "is it withdrawal or is life that hard on me". We'll see where it brings me as I continue my attempt to wean it off. Your choice to stay on the drugs should be respected. Withdrawal is a terrible experience and different for everyone. Also it kind of sacrifices your current welbeing for an expected future reward. Wise men say you only have the now, so why not. You can always come back on your decision if life brings different insights. Live your life. Be happy. Took my first SSRI sipralexa/lexapro/escitalopram in 2007 for depression. In 2010 the doctor switched me to paroxetine/seroxat/paxil for anxiety. My paroxetine story from then on: 2010-15 from 10mg up to 20mg jan 2016 30mg may 2016 0mg cold turkey (don't!) dec 2016 symptoms: anxiety, tremor (could barely stand) jan 2017 reinstated at 7.5mg to taper in steps of 10% ... Dose changes from may 2017 to now: 5.0/4.7/4.4/4.0/3.7/3.5/3.3/3.1mg Link to comment
Solang Posted August 20, 2017 Author Share Posted August 20, 2017 Thank you miT. <p>On Zoloft (sertraline) since 1995, Wellbutrin added in 1999. MOST RECENT TAPER HISTORY:APRIL 20, 2014: 50Z, 300W // APRIL 21, 2014: 43.75Z, 300W, 2X20 mins FW on 4 // JUNE 19, 2014: 37.5Z, 300W, Discontinued FW // AUG 20, 2014: 31.25Z, 300W // SEP 24, 2014: Accidentally decreased W to 150mg and had suicidal ideation and crying spells (didn't realize I had done this until Oct 9) // SEP 27, 2014: 34Z, 150W // OCT 9, 2014: 34Z, 225W // OCT 25, 2014: 31.25Z, 225W // NOV 22, 2014: 31.25Z, 187.5W // DEC 28, 2014: 28.12Z, 187.5W // JAN 31, 2015: 28.12Z, 168.75W // MAR 02, 2015: 25Z, 168.75W // MAR 30, 2015: 25Z, 150W HALFWAY DOWN ON BOTH!! // April 6 added Fisher Wallace setting 4X20 mins at bedtime for insomnia // April 29 discontinued FW // MAY 7, 2015: 22.5Z, 150W // JUN 10, 2015: 22.5Z, 131.25W // JUL 15, 2015: 20.25Z, 131.25W // AUG 13, 2015: 20.25Z, 112.5W // SEP 10, 2015: 18Z, 112.5W // OCT 13, 2015: 18Z, 93.7W // JAN 23, 2015: REINSTATED TO 20Z, 75W - HOLDING UNTIL MAY DUE TO POSSIBLE SAD Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted August 20, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 20, 2017 Nice to see you around! I remember you from my early days here and often wonder how the old crowd is We advocate for harm reduction approach. So if reducing harm means staying on drugs, that's ok. When I was reading your post about childhood trauma and dysfunctional society it got me thinking there is an element missing from the equation: our own ability to reframe our experiences and the way we experience the world around us. It can be as bad as it can be but we can still make beautiful things out of it. Your position sounds so helpless. No wonder you were not able to let go off drugs. I'm just reading a beautiful book called Hardwiring Happiness. We can literally change our brains. I would also like to share my experience and that of my husband I wrote on the thread of another member who decided to stay on the drugs (for the time being Drop us a line every now and again! It means a lot Best, Bubble Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Solang Posted August 21, 2017 Author Share Posted August 21, 2017 Hi Bubble, I hear what you're saying, but "cognitive behavioral therapy" (which is basically what you are suggesting) can only go so far with a traumatized nervous system. And, everyone is different. I have a LOT I could say about this topic, but I don't want to get into it right now. And, I'm happy to say that I got married and am feeling very good right now :-) <p>On Zoloft (sertraline) since 1995, Wellbutrin added in 1999. MOST RECENT TAPER HISTORY:APRIL 20, 2014: 50Z, 300W // APRIL 21, 2014: 43.75Z, 300W, 2X20 mins FW on 4 // JUNE 19, 2014: 37.5Z, 300W, Discontinued FW // AUG 20, 2014: 31.25Z, 300W // SEP 24, 2014: Accidentally decreased W to 150mg and had suicidal ideation and crying spells (didn't realize I had done this until Oct 9) // SEP 27, 2014: 34Z, 150W // OCT 9, 2014: 34Z, 225W // OCT 25, 2014: 31.25Z, 225W // NOV 22, 2014: 31.25Z, 187.5W // DEC 28, 2014: 28.12Z, 187.5W // JAN 31, 2015: 28.12Z, 168.75W // MAR 02, 2015: 25Z, 168.75W // MAR 30, 2015: 25Z, 150W HALFWAY DOWN ON BOTH!! // April 6 added Fisher Wallace setting 4X20 mins at bedtime for insomnia // April 29 discontinued FW // MAY 7, 2015: 22.5Z, 150W // JUN 10, 2015: 22.5Z, 131.25W // JUL 15, 2015: 20.25Z, 131.25W // AUG 13, 2015: 20.25Z, 112.5W // SEP 10, 2015: 18Z, 112.5W // OCT 13, 2015: 18Z, 93.7W // JAN 23, 2015: REINSTATED TO 20Z, 75W - HOLDING UNTIL MAY DUE TO POSSIBLE SAD Link to comment
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