Jump to content
SurvivingAntidepressants.org is temporarily closed to new registrations until 1 April ×

Muddles

Recommended Posts

  • Administrator

What do you mean by psychotic with suicidal ideation?

 

Have you reduced mirtazapine yet?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

Yes reduced last night. I feel like nothing is real around me, emotionless, not noting what day it is, withdrawn and unable to do anything. My head just feels like it has a brick in it. The suicide intention was so strong earlier. I just can't explain it to my family and friends. I remember taking an illegal drug when I was a teenager. It feels exactly like that.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Those do NOT sound like symptoms of psychosis. They sound like symptoms of drug dosage change.

 

What do you mean by suicide intention?

 

If you go to a doctor or hospital claiming you feel psychotic with suicidal ideation, you are just about guaranteed to get institutionalized and loaded up with unpleasant drugs. So be sure that's what you've got, don't exaggerate with scary-sounding terms.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

Thinking of how to take my own life. My husband stopped me from going off in the car.

Please, I know I may frustrate you with my what seems overactive comments but I am not usually this person. I just don't feel well at all and the thought of hospital terrifies me but at the same time will prevent my family from losing the one they love dearly.

My brother is schizophrenic - can you understand my concern?

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment
  • Administrator

You are scaring yourself. You must stay calm and learn how to cope with your symptoms. See our Symptoms and Self-care forum for suggestions http://tinyurl.com/3hq949

 

I highly recommend slow meditative breathing. You will get out of this, but it will take time.

 

You are not your brother. Can you see a counselor to talk about how frightened you are that you might be like him?

 

Please read other Intro topics to see what others are doing faced with similar symptoms.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

You sound very, very uncomfortable, but you totally make sense...you don't sound psychotic at all. See if your husband can pull up the thread here, Suicidal Ideation. It is so common on drugs and coming off. Stay by him, having companionship is very helpful.

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

Link to comment

I felt like this before dosage change too.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

I totally feel for you.

 

These are some of the scariest things a human being can experience, in my opinion.

 

But how do you think hospital will help you with that? If you have a supporting environment (which you do), it's more than you can ask for.

 

there is nothing doctors can do for us except throw in more meds which will in the long run make things even worse.
We can only be patient with our symptoms and focus on surviving one moment after the other.
I was curious about something called seriphos for helping with anxiety  that some members mention...

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1852-how-to-reduce-cortisol-both-rx-and-natural/

 

I only once went to hospital when I was experiencing debilitating anxiety that made me bed ridden. I was 24 at the time. Luckily it was not a 'real' psychiatric ward but a clinic and they didn't believe in drugs. I spent 3 weeks there (standard procedure) and found it silly: I was playing board games with other patients, we bonded nicely (that was the most beneficial part) but there was also a lot of tension and conflict and managing interpersonal relationships with other patients.

 

In short, I realised that I would've been better off with my family and friends. What really helped me with my panic were long walks in the woods with my aunt (although I felt I couldn't leave the room for fear of going crazy on the spot at first).

 

I had an opportunity to talk to a few people whi were psychotic and I assure you, their loss of touch with reality was something completely different. They are simply not capable of writing like you do and keep their train of thoughts. 

 

As others have said, you are very, very scared and your family also so they are demanding that you do something about it. But here only time and patience bring a positive change. Maybe you could tell you husband to inform himself on the forum? 

 

Hospitals wouldn't be so bad if they operated as a shelter where we could have a safe, stress free environment while our nervous systems are regaining their stability but since this is not the case, especially if they use coercive methods, they can do more harm than good.

 

I personalyl think that you are much better supported here on the forum than in hospital...

 

Also if you reduced your drug, it takes 4 days for the change to register so try to give it a chance and read symptoms and self-care section of the forum. Are you taking fish oil and magnesium?

 

This crisis will pass.

 

best,

bubble

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Thinking of how to take my own life. My husband stopped me from going off in the car.

Please, I know I may frustrate you with my what seems overactive comments but I am not usually this person. I just don't feel well at all and the thought of hospital terrifies me but at the same time will prevent my family from losing the one they love dearly.

My brother is schizophrenic - can you understand my concern?

 

I can hear how frightened you are and anyone in your situation probably would be too.  But you are not psychotic and you don't have schizophrenia. From reading your thread its clear that you are in touch with reality, its just that the reality is very difficult to handle.  I think Meimequest is probably right with what she wrote below:

 

I'm going to guess that the stress of losing your father has changed something in your nervous system, maybe the autonomic nervous system/cortisol and now you have new side effects, not poop out. I don't think akathisia is a sign of needing more drug. But that is just a guess. I am so sorry for your loss and this stress.

 

 

I think you need some support with the shock and grief of losing your father.  Please stay close to your loved ones, have someone help you find a counselor to talk to.

 

Akathisia is awful, I've had it, it can be caused by drugs and by drug withdrawal. Doing what you can to calm down helps, it passes eventually.

 

Many of us have experienced the extreme symptoms you are having at the moment and have got through it, and you can too.  We will be here for you, if you need to vent, that's fine, if you need some understanding, many of us know what its like.

 

If you are seriously suicidal, you need to tell someone and ask for help. 

 

What you are feeling at the moment is temporary, it will pass in time.  Focusing on the present moment, slowing your breathing and watching the breath can really help, I've spent many hours doing just that to get me through bad times.

 

Petu.

 

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Link to comment

Thank you. I lost it yesterday and was out driving for 5 hours. It wasnt just thiughts of suicide, it was an urge. Husband got police involved and they took me to a&e. Cpn & phyciatrist coming round today. Doubt they will believe all my symtoms are linked to mirtazapine. My husband & friends believe me because they can see it. I didn't really want to come home - this is the worst feeling. No interest or emotions...detached friom reality, feel brain damaged.

Venting my depressive thoughts! I hope one day I will be able to vent positive.

Thanks again. Xx

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment

Oh the Cpn said she doesn't know of long term effects mirtazapine use. Suppose they needed some mug guinea pig!

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Oh Muddles, I feel for you so much, you are in the place I was at 20 years ago when I first went on medication.

 

The cpn won't know of long term effects of mirtazepine because they don't SEE them. Everything is a result of the 'illness' 

and not down to side effects of medicines.   Please read  my story of how I ended up here, My experience started with medication

that made me suicidal, just like you it was an impulse, an overwhelming urge. That led to many years of drugs and hospital treatment.

 Scroll down to post 502 on this page.  

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-17

 

Withdrawal caused the same symptoms and I almost went into hospital again, I did the same as you and 

went off in a desperate state. The similarities are between us are remarkable. I am so much better now and

almost off my drugs. My head is clear, I do think of suicide occasionally but it is a passing thought that I don't

entertain. I am healthier, happier and more stable than I've been for 20 years.  You can be too. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

Link to comment

Mamma P you have made me feel so much better. Did you have children to look after? I've lost love for my children and this is the worst.. I am scared that the lower dose I go it will get worse. I was so desperate yesterday....I took loads of paracetamol with me & was so close. The CPN says its greif, I don't feel greif...I feel lost and totally alien to everyone. I hate going out and seeing 'normal' people. I'm half I found this site...if not i think I don't think I'd be here.

I'm not going to tell Cpn about thoughts - they will for sure lock me up lol!

I will read through your story. You sound such a strong person....I don't think I can be. I'm am such a worrier. I read all of the bad things on here and it seems not a lot of people recover from this crap. Mirtazapine is such a heavy drug. The first 6 months on it I was convinced I was schizophrenic because of all the thoughts I was having.

We need to make people aware of all of this. Doctors need to discuss the dangers and provide other techniques of coping with mental health problems.

I'm so glad you are near enough recovered. Do you fancy swapping for a day!

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

I would swap in a heartbeat just so you could know what it will feel like when

that drug is gone from your life!! I had 4 children to look after and thought I was the worst mum ever .

You will get through this, you really will and won't have to wait 20  years to get there like I did! 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

Link to comment

Its effecting them though - they are in a right state! I said to my husband earlier..I need to move out to protect them.but I suppose this is drug related too :-(

Thanks for your encouragement.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment

You sound much more functioning in you tapers. I want to be able to go out :-( Mirtazapine is hell to get off and I'm only just beginning.

My nan was on a cocktail of meds throughout her life - my mum had a terrible up-bringing. And my mum was telling me how physciatrist's took her sister off Prozac totally with 2 weeks after being on It for 20 years. She had a phsycotic breakdown. They ended up doubling the dose plus adding antipsychotics! I can't understand why the doc's don't get it.

Crisis team are involved so having a shower and making myself look respectful....as much as I can. Wish I could eat. Lost loads and don't like it.

You seem to be able to get sleep? Did your drug enable you to sleep easier? I have in the past tried to miss a dose and cannot get a wink.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hang in there, Muddles and best of luck with this team.

 

I wish they could do something for you. I'm so happy for you that MammaP was here to share her story with you.

 

hugs,

 

bubble

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

You sound much more functioning in you tapers. I want to be able to go out :-( Mirtazapine is hell to get off and I'm only just beginning.

My nan was on a cocktail of meds throughout her life - my mum had a terrible up-bringing. And my mum was telling me how physciatrist's took her sister off Prozac totally with 2 weeks after being on It for 20 years. She had a phsycotic breakdown. They ended up doubling the dose plus adding antipsychotics! I can't understand why the doc's don't get it.

Crisis team are involved so having a shower and making myself look respectful....as much as I can. Wish I could eat. Lost loads and don't like it.

You seem to be able to get sleep? Did your drug enable you to sleep easier? I have in the past tried to miss a dose and cannot get a wink.

I was physically ill for years on effexor, my latest drug, and not depressed or psychotic, just 'brain dead' could barely function,

didn't sleep more than 2 hours  . per night. Memory shot, couldn't find words, hold a conversation or read a book. Drifted from

day to day eating ready meals and unable to cook. Became housebound and in bed much of the time exhausted but not sleeping.

Then I started tapering and got better and better. Unfortunately I went too fast and hit withdrawal, that was a nightmare and it was

when I realised that all my worst episodes over the years were from drugs and withdrawal from those drugs. 

 

I get times when I can't sleep, and go for days with no sleep. Then suddenly it will lift and I can sleep again. I never sleep all night

and never have but to get 3-4 hours is great and I can function on that.  There are times when I don't think I can go another day

and feel utterly useless but now I recognise that it is withdrawal. It comes in waves and windows. Waves are bad and windows are

good. Most doctors would  label this as bi-polar, and is where I got my bi-polar diagnosis from. I will be un-diagnosing myself! 

Now I understand what is happening and can go with it, waiting for a wave to pass can seem to go on forever but it does pass. 

In case you haven't seen it, here is the thread on waves and windows. 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-recovery/

 

You are at the place I was in the beginning, I didn't cope either and went down the rabbit warren of drugs and ECT. I just wish I 

had known then what I know now! It will take time, you had a reaction to the drug and now suffering from  side

effects. The side effects will lessen and the withdrawal will be kept to a minimum if you take it slowly.  Withdrawal can be 10x

worse than the side effects and can last for years. Taper slowly and you can feel better. Just try to remember that this is NOT

you and you will get back to yourself. Go through the motions, take care of your kids, hug them and one day that feeling will

come back. Everything will.

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

Link to comment

Thank you so much. I'm having a better day today - I've had some diazapam which I will only take when I need to. It helps me eat which I haven't done for a long time. Have you experienced athkatsia? As I experienced this on full dose - do you think it will get worse as I taper more as you said withdrawing is 10 x worse than side effects. It scares me to think i could get any worse. im housebound with no interest in anything. I used to love doing my housework but cannot do it because I have zero motivation and inner trembling. I hate living in a pig sty....depressed me even more!

I love the encouraging words you are giving me.

Crisis team were very good...agree that a lot of my symtoms are from the drugs. They are sending a psychiatrist in on Friday to discuss it. She mentioned tapering off this and going onto something else which I know I can't do as I'm hyper sensitive to any drugs and know it with just mess me up even more.

Sounds like you are coping well. I wish you well. X

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment

I also get the bi-polar thing. I'm actually waiting for this diagnoses. Suicidal one day and ok the next. Schizophrenia was mentioned from one of my docs because I was having distorted thoughts and random mind chatter (a side effect).

I wished I had reduced dose before. Experiencing very bad withdrawal type symptoms on a full dose doesn't sound like I am going to have it easy.

My dad was by my side yesterday - a few things happened while I was out on my car mission. When the urge was so severe - the sun came out and lifted me up a bit. We also had snow - I love snow and prayed for him to give us snow the other day. This may seem daft but the first time since he's past, I felt him by my side...preventing that terrible event that almost happened.

I hope I don't get that urge too soon again.

My godmother took her own life leaving her children. She was on Prozac. Sad.

Hope you're all having a good day.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment

Hi Muddles,

 

Heres a little pice of my experience of mirtazapine that might help. I hope so!

Getting off Mirtazapine is doable but it takes a little time. Trust me, I am down from 45mg to now 2.5 mg. I definitely feel better, feel more for my wife and kids now, I am no longer in an emotional vacuum. I got better way before 2.5mg. There is relief to be found in being on a lower dose, so try thinking about getting of mirtazapine as a process with possibilities on the way. You do not have to be completely of to feel better!

 

(One of the things Mirtazapine does is lower stress hormones. If i miss a dose my sleep is gone as well. Missing a dose causes stress hormones to be a little to high and sleep gets bad. A careful taper will minimize this and also lets the body heal on the way.)

 

Listen to mammaP! Her words are so true!

2010: Mirtazapine 30mg followed by Zopiclone 7.5 mg for sleep post surgery due to pain.
2012-> Tapering Mirtazapine and Zopiclone at different rates unsuccessfully.
2013: Hospitalized 10 days due to complete Insomnia. Forced back up to 45mg Mirtazapine, 7.5 mg Zopiclone and also Theralene 1 ml.
2013-03: Lab showed Vitamin D deficient. Found the vitamin d and insomnia connection. Supplementing vitamin d. Sleep improved by 1-2 hours
2013-04: Dropped mirtazapine to 30 due to severe side effects. Quit Theralene. Zopiclone 7.5.
2013-05 - 2013-11: Mirtazapine taper monthly 25 20 15 11 8 4 2.5 mg
2013-12 Holding M at 2.5. Need to taper Zopiclone due to daytime nausea and vomiting. Taper zopiclone 1/4 red every 5 d. Last Z 2013-12-19
2013-12-31 M:2.5. Reinstated Zopiclone 3.75 due to Insomnia
2014-01-06 M:2.5. Taper Z 1.9 ... 2014-01-14 M:2.5. Z 1 mg.
Jumped of Zopiclone 01-20. Jumped mirtazapine 02-16.

Theralene: 10mg 02-09. 8mg 03-09. 5mg 03-15. 4mg 03-24. 3mg 04-08. Jumped 04-21.
Zopiclone free for 251 days. Mirtazapine free for 224 days.

Link to comment

Thanks mirtazapine user! I suppose I'm worried because withdrawal effects hit full whack on my original dosage. Worries me because I may not be able to stable on any dose I cut down to.

I suppose sleep is a big issue with mirtazapine as it has induced the 'not natural sleep' and may be troublesome in time. I'm managing on 4 hours at the mo which is not really enough but will have to do! Hope I am where you are soon!

Thanks for the tips. So glad I have you lot!

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment
  • Administrator

You are not bipolar or schizophrenic if your symptoms are due to an adverse drug reaction.

 

However, if you want those diagnoses, there are many doctors who will be happy to oblige you.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

You're right. That's why I don't disclose half of my symtoms.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Can you see a counselor to talk about your concerns? Perhaps someone associated with your church, if you attend one?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

 

I'm suffering again this morning. I can't see how I can get off this. I'm not going to be able to stable at any reduction as it stopped working all together on full dose with major crash symtoms. My family think its just a case of going onto something else. So frustrating. Can't believe my life has come to this.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm happy to see that you have stopped pathologising yourself (in a later post)

 

when you say suicidal one day, ok the next, it reminds me of windows and waves: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-recovery/page-5

 

 

I also get the bi-polar thing. I'm actually waiting for this diagnoses. Suicidal one day and ok the next. Schizophrenia was mentioned from one of my docs because I was having distorted thoughts and random mind chatter (a side effect).
I wished I had reduced dose before. Experiencing very bad withdrawal type symptoms on a full dose doesn't sound like I am going to have it easy.
My dad was by my side yesterday - a few things happened while I was out on my car mission. When the urge was so severe - the sun came out and lifted me up a bit. We also had snow - I love snow and prayed for him to give us snow the other day. This may seem daft but the first time since he's past, I felt him by my side...preventing that terrible event that almost happened.
I hope I don't get that urge too soon again.
My godmother took her own life leaving her children. She was on Prozac. Sad.
Hope you're all having a good day.

 

I read someone's thread yesterday desperately trying to find the right dose to stabilise. The conclusion is there is NO RIGHT dose (unless side effects are very severe), it is teh search for teh right dose by going up and down with your meds that is causing more damage.

 

Picking a dose and staying on it FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES is what enables our CNS to recover.

 

I waited for 3 months, now over 4 and in the meantime focus on what else could make me feel better to help myself not to obssess about medication, dosages, symptoms...Reading how other people are faring to put my suffering into perspective and learning so much in the process.

 

But the key revelation was that symptoms come and go irrespective of drugs. Remind yourself that you are grieving, remind yourself that the pills messed you up, read about neuro emotions and remind yourself that this will pass.

 

Next time maybe don't take a car but walk: it's less dangerous and by walking you might physically get rid of those awful feelings.

 

best,

bubble

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

Link to comment

I felt better yesterday because I was taking diazapam to calm me down. I can't carry on taking that. This is too much to take. I want to be a mum & wife. I can't leave the house because looking at normal people getting on with their lives is just too harrowing. Nobody can help me get out of this. I looked back at my diary from when I started antidepressents - why I ever carried on taking them I'll never know.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment

Muddles you have been thru hell.  I really feel for you.  I read thru all of the posts and you sound very much in touch with reality, just very scared and suffering from the effects of the mirtazapine.

 

You said you felt a little better after a drop in the dose.  This sounds like a good sign and that you knew all along it was the poop out from this stuff.

 

When the obsessive and scary thoughts start they pick up speed and the suicide ideation begins.  It is very hard to stop.  You said your husband and family know it is the mirtazapine so let them or one of them be with you when to see the doctor and have them stress this to the doctor who needs to be educated on mirtazapine.

 

I have a friend who posted here a while back.  She is in poop out from Seroxat and was in very bad shape.  The Doctor added mirtazapine.  Made things worse, so she is tapering off of mirtzapine (and weaning up on another drug).  But decreasing the mirtazapine helped.  She will have to get off Seroxat too.  The poop out state is just awful to bear.  I've been there.

 

Is there a family member who can keep you company until you settle down?  It may be just what you need right now.  A bit of loving support and companionship.  Please don't feel bad about taking the benzo to help you calm down.  You need something to break the cycle you are in.

 

Stay in touch on this site....we are all concerned....and will post back to you

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

Link to comment

Thank you Nikki! Phyciatrist coming out today - how the hell it got to this! I'm always the one looking after everybody else..a shadow I the person I am today. Cpn & trainee doctor don't believe a drug can stop working so suddenly and cause big side effects so doubt phyciatrist will know either. My family and friends know so I suppose that's the main thing. Kids are off next week - very scared as I'm not able to do much. My beautiful children - what a shame.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Muddles, you are going through one of the most challenging and difficult things

you will ever have to go through. I thought depression was hell but it is a walk i n the park

beside the torment that these drugs bring into your life. All we can do here is keep repeating

and assuring you that it will get better. I know that is not always easy to believe but it really will.

 

I hope things go well with the shrink. He/she will no doubt have a cocktail in mind for you, it's

just a shame it won't  be something long and cool with a straw! 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

Link to comment

Ha ha mamma P. I managed to get to my kids achievement assembly this morning...with the help of a diazepam! Had one of the mums in tears to me over what seems such so trivial to our problems. Could of done without it to be honest.

My husband and friends although understand its the drug, still think I can try something else. I wish I could and be fine. Think it's just us lot in here who know the ins and outs.

God I wish I could turn back the clock. I was looking through my old diary of when I started mirtazapine. Had me in tears. Listed so many side effects....suicidal thoughts, intense anxiety and a whole load more. I told the doc and Cpn about this....I basically told them that doctors have ruined mine & my family's life. They of course just sat and nodded whilst obviously thinking I'm some kind of hyperhondriac! She said - you seem to know a lot about antidepresants, you must research a lot. Yeah - I have....ever since I've been on them but was always told it was in my head. I am still having horrible thoughts but if I do anything like that it would absolutely destroy everyone. I told my husband i will have to move out if things get any worse. I never understood how anyone could ever possibly take their own life. My godmother did and left two children behind....she was on Prozac.

Then there are people like my friend who was in deep depression last year. He was out on mirtazapine for 6 months and it really helped him. Had no withdrawel effects whatsoever.

Why us eh?

I hope you are all having an ok day...will let you know the outcome.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment

Question for you Nikki - you were in poop-out. Does that mean you never stabilise with any drop? I can't see how you can in pop out as the offending drug is not working?

A lot if people can transfer onto another antipressant to help towards the lower end if weaning. don't think there is another antidepressant similar to mirtazapine. SSRI's made me so sick.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment

Excuse the spelling errors....I cracked my phone screen and struggle to see what I'm typing.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment

Physciatrist out all of my symtoms down to anxiety. The drug is probably not working as well so he wanted me to up it. I explained all if symtoms and he says it's all down to losing my dad. The only way we can know if it's the drug giving me these effects is to up it he said.

Im so angry and mortified that they all think its in my head. If I get any worse they will probably have me in and dose me up with drugs.

My husband is getting very tired if it all - saying I can't go on like this. I have no choice and wish I had a magic wand. Suicide is entering my head again....I want out of this mess. The askathesia is a nightmare and is supposed to get gets worse through withdrawing. I can't take that - it's torture. I asked him why people develop depression on an antidepressant. He said depression and anxiety are linked. I was out in for anxiety so as soon as that cleared the depression usually creeps in. What an ass! I wonder how many patients he's actually killed off with these stupid supposed facts?

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment
  • Administrator

I'm sorry the psychiatrist wasn't more helpful. Most of us have had similar experiences. They know very little about drug adverse effects.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy