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kesh

Aria. I don't know if you are still reading this, but I searched the recovery forum with the word "akathisia" as I have it bad right now.

 

The big unknown is will the aka increase if I reduce the antidepressants (withdrawal akathisia) or get better (drug induced akathisia). Or possibly both as I'm so sensitised.

 

Anyway, that people get better from akathisia gives me hope when I'm in a wave.

 

All the best.

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aberdeen
On 1/4/2018 at 6:32 AM, kesh said:

Aria. I don't know if you are still reading this, but I searched the recovery forum with the word "akathisia" as I have it bad right now.

 

The big unknown is will the aka increase if I reduce the antidepressants (withdrawal akathisia) or get better (drug induced akathisia). Or possibly both as I'm so sensitised.

 

Anyway, that people get better from akathisia gives me hope when I'm in a wave.

 

All the best.

Hi there! I dont post much anymore but I do lurk now and then and saw your post. I just wanted you to know that I recovered from akathesia, 100% gone. It was at the beginning stages of wd for me (hopefully my signature tells most of my story). I was fresh from a 2 month "taper" from a high dose of effexor, and newly on another med (at the time I didnt know what was going on otherwise I wouldnt have taken a different med, I would have instead updosed and resumed a proper taper ) anyway my akathesia would start around 3 or 4am. It was terrible. Mainly in my torso, shoulders and legs, a constant compulsion to squirm and rock and kick out/run fast. It would gradually improve by mid day. I would pace (fast), or stretch, even rocking back and forth helped a little. It was awful, I know. It makes you feel like screaming. I had this for a few weeks, maybe a couple of months, and it seemed worse when I was rapidly tapering or the first weeks of a new med. Once I stopped making drastic changes, it did go away. I eventually stabilized somewhat and began a slow taper that took a few years and during that time I didnt have akathesia. I havent had it in the 18 months that Ive been med free either, so please have hope! :)

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kesh

Great to hear. Stories like yours help when I' m bad like today.

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Aria

I got got a new shredder and have been busily shredding medical records. I had been seeing a pain specialist because of neuroleptic toxic effects (muscle spasms) and he kept mentioning my profound mental illness. I was so drug drunk that Lord knows what I told this doctor but the muscle spasms I was having were relentless. When I have read my medical notes from various doctors not one had a clue that the SSRI & neuroleptics were causing the distress (muscle spasms, stomach cramps, diarrhea, blurry vision, strange behavior, incontinence, insomnia, confusion, vomiting, GERD, constipation, dizziness, Akathisia). Into the shredder that page goes, the next page and the next. How blinded physicians are when they see a client with a mental illness diagnosis. Many times I thought about going back to these doctors to say "how could you of not known the psychiatric drugs were causing this?" One good point -- in my last visits more than one doctor said I was off my drugs and completely lucid.

 

Yesterday I was talking to a woman with a college education who mentioned that someone's son had schizophrenia. She said you know how those people go off their drugs and then they can't work. I innocently said "I didn't know schizophrenics could work?" This was the same person she said he was bipolar so to her these are interchangeable diagnoses. I've met the person in question and they seemed fine to me. This is why I don't out myself as a psychiatric Survivor or a Survivor of psychiatry. I would have to go into detail about what happened to me and there's a big chance the person I was talking to wouldn't  get it. They would have lingering doubts of my normality and there's a big chance they would say "were you so gullible that you bought into this?" That's when I would say "I know you're on Prozac and Xanax so don't judge me". At the time I had gone to a psychiatrist thinking he was a medical doctor and might help me. I had no idea he didn't know what he was doing and would haphazardly give me drug combos that blitzed my brain. So many years on these drugs are blurred sometimes I'm thankful they are and other times I'm horrified at what may have happened that I don't remember? My brain filter was off so I blurted out things that did not need to be said plus the Akathisia had me going like a locomotive.

 

I've read with interest other people who escaped psychiatry and wonder what they're going to do with their life? It was very hard for me to figure out what I wanted to do and what I could do. At first I tentatively tried to do things I used to do before I was so drugged like reading and gardening. I joined a ladies group last year and have enjoyed getting together with them. One woman is always talking about alien abductions and The Walking Dead (she's a lot of fun!). It makes me realize we're all so different and that's fine with me unless the behavior is mean or vindictive.

 

Back to my Shredder. There go a few more papers into the shredder. How many copies of what I'm shredding are still out there? Are they in my electronic medical records at the hospitals for all the doctors to see? If only I could shred those too.

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gigi63

Hello Aria, I was thinking of you today. I was thinking, “ How did Aria do this by herself, come off of the drugs?!!”  Aria, I am wondering if you can share how your life started to come back together, what the timeframe for you looked like? And how did you pass your days??  Thank you if you can share.  

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Aria

People have said they thought their psychiatrist was a good man who didn't know any better and that does not excuse them. After my psychiatrist knew he totally screwed up diagnosing and prescribing horrific toxic drugs to me he tried to deny it in a copy of a letter I have. I don't think any psychiatrist can be excused for what they did (unsubstantial diagnoses and prescribed drugs that caused toxic effects). They need to live with the guilt of knowing they have grievously harmed numerous people who had become nothing to them but a diagnosis.

 

When I first went to the psychiatrist and he told me I had a chemical imbalance of course I believed him. I didn't know any better. I had always been told growing up that you trusted what's your physician said? There was no internet for me to check any of this info in the mid 80's. I was going through a difficult time and seeing a psychiatrist proved to be one of the most detrimental things I could have done. Having a SMI diagnosis in my medical records has caused unbelievable problems when I was in need of medical help.

 

I've had several SA members ask me how I deal with having a disease similar to Multiple Sclerosis? The best I can. There were days that I have debilitating fatigue, brain fog, nerve pain and maybe got 2 hours sleep. I'm able to handle it much better than I would if I was heavily drugged by psychotropics. Twelve years ago when I was researching the effects of Seroquel I found links that said it caused the variant of MS I have. If you are on drugs that alter and add damaging chemicals in your brain it makes sense that this disruption can cause your body to develop an autoimmune disease.

 

I lost so many years to psychiatry. Do I go there and wonder? Of course I do. I had gone back to graduate school but because of the psych drugs I couldn't function. As more drugs were added I no longer did things I enjoyed and was becoming disconnected. When I was talking to my therapist sister I told her I was doing okay with my life. I feel more at ease with myself and doing simple things I enjoy.

 

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Terry4949
28 minutes ago, Aria said:

People have said they thought their psychiatrist was a good man who didn't know any better and that does not excuse them. After my psychiatrist knew he totally screwed up diagnosing and prescribing horrific toxic drugs to me he tried to deny it in a copy of a letter I have. I don't think any psychiatrist can be excused for what they did (unsubstantial diagnoses and prescribed drugs that caused toxic effects). They need to live with the guilt of knowing they have grievously harmed numerous people who had become nothing to them but a diagnosis.

 

When I first went to the psychiatrist and he told me I had a chemical imbalance of course I believed him. I didn't know any better. I had always been told growing up that you trusted what's your physician said? There was no internet for me to check any of this info in the mid 80's. I was going through a difficult time and seeing a psychiatrist proved to be one of the most detrimental things I could have done. Having a SMI diagnosis in my medical records has caused unbelievable problems when I was in need of medical help.

 

I've had several SA members ask me how I deal with having a disease similar to Multiple Sclerosis? The best I can. There were days that I have debilitating fatigue, brain fog, nerve pain and maybe got 2 hours sleep. I'm able to handle it much better than I would if I was heavily drugged by psychotropics. Twelve years ago when I was researching the effects of Seroquel I found links that said it caused the variant of MS I have. If you are on drugs that alter and add damaging chemicals in your brain it makes sense that this disruption can cause your body to develop an autoimmune disease.

 

I lost so many years to psychiatry. Do I go there and wonder? Of course I do. I had gone back to graduate school but because of the psych drugs I couldn't function. As more drugs were added I no longer did things I enjoyed and was becoming disconnected. When I was talking to my therapist sister I told her I was doing okay with my life. I feel more at ease with myself and doing simple things I enjoy.

 

Aria I am so pleased you have recovered and what you have posted the words relate to so many of us , being told by our phyciatrist that we had a chemical imbalance I like you fell in to that trap back in the 80s and have suffered the multi drugging that comes with it ever since for a illness I never had , it is great to see people can recover even if it is a very long road for some of us , 

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Aria

I got together with a friend recently that I've gone to the beach with. At the beach she met my therapist sister and other family members who came from another state to join us. I've been very open with my friend about my horrendous misadventure was psychiatry. Was surprised but heartened when she said my sister told her that she had no idea the psychiatric drugs were making me seem crazy. It was so nice to hear this. My sister had told me this herself but it was reaffirming that she told someone she who was a friend of mine. I needed to hear this again and will probably need to hear it again and again. Psychiatry made me question every little detail about myself. The drugs changed who I was and it was not a pretty picture. Later people would tell me how in the world could the psychiatrist not realize he was drugging me into oblivion?

 

I am surprised at how many journals I have stashed through the house from when I was on psych drugs. In one entry I had taken a good friend to see the psychiatrist about what was going on (wanted answers). I wanted to have someone with me when I talked to the psychiatrist after him admitting that he had wrongly diagnosed and polydrugged me. Why am I surprised that he said, "Aria you have been so sick". Sick? Yes I was very sick from being drugged! Of course he wasn't going to admit in front of a witness that he could be sued for malpractice. What was I thinking! Reading this journal entry rattled me because I had completely trusted this doctor for years. To have this psychiatrist lie to my face was terrible and he could do so because I was "mentally ill".  My word, the word of a mentally ill person, against a psychiatrist.

 

When I was helping one of my sister's client's taper off psychiatric drugs I was having serious deja vu. It brought up the anger, hopelessness, misery I dealt with when I was in withdrawal from the polypharmacy. I was also dealing with realization psychiatry was a fraud, had damaged me, that my medical charts had a bogus psychiatric diagnosis that was damning and trying to figure out how to get back my life. Then I had to figure out how to adapt and cope with me being off psychiatric drugs. Little steps tiny steps.

 

Did I have a good time at the beach? I did and we're going to the beach again next year. Looking forward to those wonderful shrimp dinners every night. Reconnecting with family members after they didn't want to have anything to do with me because I acted so strange (not knowing it was a psychiatric drugs). To know that they know psychiatry screwed me over big time. So I have my family again and some good friends. It's been an unbelievably difficult journey.

 

Aria

 

 

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mirage

@Aria So happy to hear this great news. Are you completely symptom free and how long did it take you? I'm going to find your success story and read it. 

 

I am a smidge over a year into my journey and I have improved but am pretty far from my normal. I know I will be back whole and living symptom free one day. God gives me strength. 

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ChessieCat

Hi there,

 

The staff at SA are wondering how you are.  We'd love to hear how you are doing now.   Would you mind dropping by and giving an update?

 

Thanks.

CC

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noearthlyfamily

hi Aria

 

ChessieCat reccomended you as one of the few people who've made it thru tothe other side of withdrawal to the success of healing after over 20 years of psych meds. i had commented earlier that i wish there was someone who had made it thru after being on the meds as long as i have (24 years) that is a success story to give me hope,  and i'm so glad she reccomended you so i can read your story and be encouraged that healing after 2 decades on multiple psych meds is indeed possible and doable!

 

HUGS!

noearthlyfamily

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Aria

Noearthlyfamily,

I had written this some time ago only posting it today. When I was dealing with tapering and withdrawal I didn't have the online support that is available today. It's been beneficial to me to blog about my psychiatric misadventure on Surviving Antidepressants and I'm glad that it helped you.

 

Aria

 

 

The psychiatrist I saw all those years is now lecturing on neuroleptics for a nice chunk of change. Since he was clueless about these drugs toxic effects I find it ludicrous that he's lecturing about them. Do I forgive him for what he did? No, never. My good friend of 40 years said I couldn't be the only one he over-prescribed and hazzardly attached labels to. She knew me before, during and after psychiatry.

 

The majority of people I socialize with don't  have a clue about psychiatry or psychiatric drugs. This is so different from when I was on the psychiatric merry go round and my friends were on heavy psychotropics (I am the only one who came off their psyche drugs). It was a long journey to heal after numerous years of polypharmacy with never being able to talk to someone in person who had a similar experience. I still have side effects from the neurotoxins like rapidly blinking eyes and my fingers tapping in the air. One of my concerns is finding a primary care doctor who won't have access to old medical records that list my psychiatric diagnosis. I may be free of psychiatry and psychiatric drugs but I'm still frightened of a psychiatric diagnosis that would make me lose any credibility.

 

On my first appointment with the psychiatrist he told me I had major depression which needed treatment like a diabetic needed insulin. This man truly didn't know my worth and I found out later only heard what he wanted to during my monthly med checks. The more drugs he piled on the less I could connect with the world and when I told him this he said it was my mental illness becoming worse. It's so bizarre how screwed up psychiatry is and they slowly convince you that you will never be okay.

 

On a good note I'm going to the beach again this spring with friends and family. I have a pile of books and knitting projects to take. To think when I first got off psychiatric drugs I couldn't read 5 pages and this week I finished a 400-page non fiction book in 2 and 1/2 days. I don't think I'm anybody special to come off psychiatric drugs and reclaim my life. I try to connect with people and keep busy. My silly feline is great company and makes me laugh.

 

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noearthlyfamily
51 minutes ago, Aria said:

The more drugs he piled on the less I could connect with the world and when I told him this he said it was my mental illness becoming worse. It's so bizarre how screwed up psychiatry is and they slowly convince you that you will never be okay.

 

yup, same here. when i questioned anything i was reindoctrinated with the same ol same ol "you're the worst case of bipolar, etc etc we've ever seeen and you need meds forever til you die or you'll commit suicide". they actually told me take the drugs or5 you'll kill yourself!

 

i can't wait to be off all the meds and go to a private pay doc without using insurance so they wont see all the past dx's too. it's like a bad nightmare folowing me to every dr or clinic or any med professional i see for anything. they see that old DX of bipolar, Multiple Sclerosis, etc etc  and it colors the way i am treated heavily. 

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bhasski
On 3/6/2019 at 11:03 PM, Aria said:

Noearthlyfamily,

I had written this some time ago only posting it today. When I was dealing with tapering and withdrawal I didn't have the online support that is available today. It's been beneficial to me to blog about my psychiatric misadventure on Surviving Antidepressants and I'm glad that it helped you.

 

Aria

 

 

The psychiatrist I saw all those years is now lecturing on neuroleptics for a nice chunk of change. Since he was clueless about these drugs toxic effects I find it ludicrous that he's lecturing about them. Do I forgive him for what he did? No, never. My good friend of 40 years said I couldn't be the only one he over-prescribed and hazzardly attached labels to. She knew me before, during and after psychiatry.

 

The majority of people I socialize with don't  have a clue about psychiatry or psychiatric drugs. This is so different from when I was on the psychiatric merry go round and my friends were on heavy psychotropics (I am the only one who came off their psyche drugs). It was a long journey to heal after numerous years of polypharmacy with never being able to talk to someone in person who had a similar experience. I still have side effects from the neurotoxins like rapidly blinking eyes and my fingers tapping in the air. One of my concerns is finding a primary care doctor who won't have access to old medical records that list my psychiatric diagnosis. I may be free of psychiatry and psychiatric drugs but I'm still frightened of a psychiatric diagnosis that would make me lose any credibility.

 

On my first appointment with the psychiatrist he told me I had major depression which needed treatment like a diabetic needed insulin. This man truly didn't know my worth and I found out later only heard what he wanted to during my monthly med checks. The more drugs he piled on the less I could connect with the world and when I told him this he said it was my mental illness becoming worse. It's so bizarre how screwed up psychiatry is and they slowly convince you that you will never be okay.

 

On a good note I'm going to the beach again this spring with friends and family. I have a pile of books and knitting projects to take. To think when I first got off psychiatric drugs I couldn't read 5 pages and this week I finished a 400-page non fiction book in 2 and 1/2 days. I don't think I'm anybody special to come off psychiatric drugs and reclaim my life. I try to connect with people and keep busy. My silly feline is great company and makes me laugh.

 

 

So great. So great.

 

Hoping the day for me and others  to come soon.

 

I had lost my 8 yrs..  3 yrs of any psychiatric drug free but still suffering.

 

Take care.  Wishes from India.

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