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Aria. I don't know if you are still reading this, but I searched the recovery forum with the word "akathisia" as I have it bad right now.

 

The big unknown is will the aka increase if I reduce the antidepressants (withdrawal akathisia) or get better (drug induced akathisia). Or possibly both as I'm so sensitised.

 

Anyway, that people get better from akathisia gives me hope when I'm in a wave.

 

All the best.

Current daily meds. Citalopram 2.5mg morning. Diazapam 1.5mg evening, Propanalol 40mg split 4x10mg throughout day.

 

Recent meds. Fluoxetine 20mg began 24th Nov 2017, CT on 4th December on medical advice due to bad Akathisia. Citalopram 10mg began on 13th Dec 2017, tapered to 2.5mg by 20th Dec 2017 on medical advice. Diazapam 2mg began on 6th Dec 2017 cut to 1.5 mg on 26th Dec. Propanalol 40mg began on 13th Dec. Zopiclone 3.75 mg began 13th December, used maybe 5 times then quit.

 

Previous history. Tricyclics, Fluoxetine or Citalopram for periods of 6mo to 2yrs over last 25 years. Probably 5 yrs in total. No significant ill effects.

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It's time to take the trash out.   I finally did it. Years ago I said I would shred all of the psychiatric records I got from the psychiatrist through an attorney, hospitalization notes

Aria's recovery from poly drugs.    I had no idea when I walked into a psychiatrist's office 25 yrs ago the horrible labyrinth I'd entered. Slam dunked at a point in my life when I was feeling low and

Two months ago I read an obituary which referred to the deceased person's struggles with mental illness and how his family was grateful that he was now at peace. To me this tended to overshadow all th

On 1/4/2018 at 6:32 AM, kesh said:

Aria. I don't know if you are still reading this, but I searched the recovery forum with the word "akathisia" as I have it bad right now.

 

The big unknown is will the aka increase if I reduce the antidepressants (withdrawal akathisia) or get better (drug induced akathisia). Or possibly both as I'm so sensitised.

 

Anyway, that people get better from akathisia gives me hope when I'm in a wave.

 

All the best.

Hi there! I dont post much anymore but I do lurk now and then and saw your post. I just wanted you to know that I recovered from akathesia, 100% gone. It was at the beginning stages of wd for me (hopefully my signature tells most of my story). I was fresh from a 2 month "taper" from a high dose of effexor, and newly on another med (at the time I didnt know what was going on otherwise I wouldnt have taken a different med, I would have instead updosed and resumed a proper taper ) anyway my akathesia would start around 3 or 4am. It was terrible. Mainly in my torso, shoulders and legs, a constant compulsion to squirm and rock and kick out/run fast. It would gradually improve by mid day. I would pace (fast), or stretch, even rocking back and forth helped a little. It was awful, I know. It makes you feel like screaming. I had this for a few weeks, maybe a couple of months, and it seemed worse when I was rapidly tapering or the first weeks of a new med. Once I stopped making drastic changes, it did go away. I eventually stabilized somewhat and began a slow taper that took a few years and during that time I didnt have akathesia. I havent had it in the 18 months that Ive been med free either, so please have hope! :)

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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Great to hear. Stories like yours help when I' m bad like today.

Current daily meds. Citalopram 2.5mg morning. Diazapam 1.5mg evening, Propanalol 40mg split 4x10mg throughout day.

 

Recent meds. Fluoxetine 20mg began 24th Nov 2017, CT on 4th December on medical advice due to bad Akathisia. Citalopram 10mg began on 13th Dec 2017, tapered to 2.5mg by 20th Dec 2017 on medical advice. Diazapam 2mg began on 6th Dec 2017 cut to 1.5 mg on 26th Dec. Propanalol 40mg began on 13th Dec. Zopiclone 3.75 mg began 13th December, used maybe 5 times then quit.

 

Previous history. Tricyclics, Fluoxetine or Citalopram for periods of 6mo to 2yrs over last 25 years. Probably 5 yrs in total. No significant ill effects.

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I got got a new shredder and have been busily shredding medical records. I had been seeing a pain specialist because of neuroleptic toxic effects (muscle spasms) and he kept mentioning my profound mental illness. I was so drug drunk that Lord knows what I told this doctor but the muscle spasms I was having were relentless. When I have read my medical notes from various doctors not one had a clue that the SSRI & neuroleptics were causing the distress (muscle spasms, stomach cramps, diarrhea, blurry vision, strange behavior, incontinence, insomnia, confusion, vomiting, GERD, constipation, dizziness, Akathisia). Into the shredder that page goes, the next page and the next. How blinded physicians are when they see a client with a mental illness diagnosis. Many times I thought about going back to these doctors to say "how could you of not known the psychiatric drugs were causing this?" One good point -- in my last visits more than one doctor said I was off my drugs and completely lucid.

 

Yesterday I was talking to a woman with a college education who mentioned that someone's son had schizophrenia. She said you know how those people go off their drugs and then they can't work. I innocently said "I didn't know schizophrenics could work?" This was the same person she said he was bipolar so to her these are interchangeable diagnoses. I've met the person in question and they seemed fine to me. This is why I don't out myself as a psychiatric Survivor or a Survivor of psychiatry. I would have to go into detail about what happened to me and there's a big chance the person I was talking to wouldn't  get it. They would have lingering doubts of my normality and there's a big chance they would say "were you so gullible that you bought into this?" That's when I would say "I know you're on Prozac and Xanax so don't judge me". At the time I had gone to a psychiatrist thinking he was a medical doctor and might help me. I had no idea he didn't know what he was doing and would haphazardly give me drug combos that blitzed my brain. So many years on these drugs are blurred sometimes I'm thankful they are and other times I'm horrified at what may have happened that I don't remember? My brain filter was off so I blurted out things that did not need to be said plus the Akathisia had me going like a locomotive.

 

I've read with interest other people who escaped psychiatry and wonder what they're going to do with their life? It was very hard for me to figure out what I wanted to do and what I could do. At first I tentatively tried to do things I used to do before I was so drugged like reading and gardening. I joined a ladies group last year and have enjoyed getting together with them. One woman is always talking about alien abductions and The Walking Dead (she's a lot of fun!). It makes me realize we're all so different and that's fine with me unless the behavior is mean or vindictive.

 

Back to my Shredder. There go a few more papers into the shredder. How many copies of what I'm shredding are still out there? Are they in my electronic medical records at the hospitals for all the doctors to see? If only I could shred those too.

Unable at this time to correspond by private message.

 

Link to my Introduction thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2477-aria-my-psych-journey/

Reading my psychiatric records: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5466-drugged-crazy-reading-my-psychiatric-records/

My Success Story is listed under "Aria's Recovery".

 

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Hello Aria, I was thinking of you today. I was thinking, “ How did Aria do this by herself, come off of the drugs?!!”  Aria, I am wondering if you can share how your life started to come back together, what the timeframe for you looked like? And how did you pass your days??  Thank you if you can share.  

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People have said they thought their psychiatrist was a good man who didn't know any better and that does not excuse them. After my psychiatrist knew he totally screwed up diagnosing and prescribing horrific toxic drugs to me he tried to deny it in a copy of a letter I have. I don't think any psychiatrist can be excused for what they did (unsubstantial diagnoses and prescribed drugs that caused toxic effects). They need to live with the guilt of knowing they have grievously harmed numerous people who had become nothing to them but a diagnosis.

 

When I first went to the psychiatrist and he told me I had a chemical imbalance of course I believed him. I didn't know any better. I had always been told growing up that you trusted what's your physician said? There was no internet for me to check any of this info in the mid 80's. I was going through a difficult time and seeing a psychiatrist proved to be one of the most detrimental things I could have done. Having a SMI diagnosis in my medical records has caused unbelievable problems when I was in need of medical help.

 

I've had several SA members ask me how I deal with having a disease similar to Multiple Sclerosis? The best I can. There were days that I have debilitating fatigue, brain fog, nerve pain and maybe got 2 hours sleep. I'm able to handle it much better than I would if I was heavily drugged by psychotropics. Twelve years ago when I was researching the effects of Seroquel I found links that said it caused the variant of MS I have. If you are on drugs that alter and add damaging chemicals in your brain it makes sense that this disruption can cause your body to develop an autoimmune disease.

 

I lost so many years to psychiatry. Do I go there and wonder? Of course I do. I had gone back to graduate school but because of the psych drugs I couldn't function. As more drugs were added I no longer did things I enjoyed and was becoming disconnected. When I was talking to my therapist sister I told her I was doing okay with my life. I feel more at ease with myself and doing simple things I enjoy.

 

Unable at this time to correspond by private message.

 

Link to my Introduction thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2477-aria-my-psych-journey/

Reading my psychiatric records: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5466-drugged-crazy-reading-my-psychiatric-records/

My Success Story is listed under "Aria's Recovery".

 

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28 minutes ago, Aria said:

People have said they thought their psychiatrist was a good man who didn't know any better and that does not excuse them. After my psychiatrist knew he totally screwed up diagnosing and prescribing horrific toxic drugs to me he tried to deny it in a copy of a letter I have. I don't think any psychiatrist can be excused for what they did (unsubstantial diagnoses and prescribed drugs that caused toxic effects). They need to live with the guilt of knowing they have grievously harmed numerous people who had become nothing to them but a diagnosis.

 

When I first went to the psychiatrist and he told me I had a chemical imbalance of course I believed him. I didn't know any better. I had always been told growing up that you trusted what's your physician said? There was no internet for me to check any of this info in the mid 80's. I was going through a difficult time and seeing a psychiatrist proved to be one of the most detrimental things I could have done. Having a SMI diagnosis in my medical records has caused unbelievable problems when I was in need of medical help.

 

I've had several SA members ask me how I deal with having a disease similar to Multiple Sclerosis? The best I can. There were days that I have debilitating fatigue, brain fog, nerve pain and maybe got 2 hours sleep. I'm able to handle it much better than I would if I was heavily drugged by psychotropics. Twelve years ago when I was researching the effects of Seroquel I found links that said it caused the variant of MS I have. If you are on drugs that alter and add damaging chemicals in your brain it makes sense that this disruption can cause your body to develop an autoimmune disease.

 

I lost so many years to psychiatry. Do I go there and wonder? Of course I do. I had gone back to graduate school but because of the psych drugs I couldn't function. As more drugs were added I no longer did things I enjoyed and was becoming disconnected. When I was talking to my therapist sister I told her I was doing okay with my life. I feel more at ease with myself and doing simple things I enjoy.

 

Aria I am so pleased you have recovered and what you have posted the words relate to so many of us , being told by our phyciatrist that we had a chemical imbalance I like you fell in to that trap back in the 80s and have suffered the multi drugging that comes with it ever since for a illness I never had , it is great to see people can recover even if it is a very long road for some of us , 

100mg Effexor 2000 untill jan 2015 severe withdrawals . Tapered 4weeks.

Jan to end of Feb 4 weeks on 15mg mirtazapine 20mg quetiapine , tapered of both 2 weeks , severe withdrawals , still some from Effexor possibly

End of Feb 2015 to end of July 30mg citolapram tapered 2weeks severe withdrawal , anxiety high , bouts of sever depression , severe emotional moods

Currently on 30mg mirtazapine appx 5 months , high anxiety, March cut dose 22.5 mg going on to liquid still no improvements with the depression , also started sept 2015 200mg pregabalin , currently on 22.5mg mirtazapine tablet form doing really badly. Cut beginning of May remeron 20mg still bad anxiety,August 15mg remeron ,100mg pregablin , severe depression headaches anxiety , oct 2016 doctor stoped pregablin c/t , 15mg mirtazapine still no let up in physical symptoms ,high anxiety ,Nov 2016 remeron 13.5 mg , Jan 2017 mirtazapine stopped flouxetine20mg added by hospital admission, no choice , doing really badly , akathesia suicidel ,, Flouxetine c/t by hospital after 7 weeks 20mg daily , currently on nothing , God help me

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I got together with a friend recently that I've gone to the beach with. At the beach she met my therapist sister and other family members who came from another state to join us. I've been very open with my friend about my horrendous misadventure was psychiatry. Was surprised but heartened when she said my sister told her that she had no idea the psychiatric drugs were making me seem crazy. It was so nice to hear this. My sister had told me this herself but it was reaffirming that she told someone she who was a friend of mine. I needed to hear this again and will probably need to hear it again and again. Psychiatry made me question every little detail about myself. The drugs changed who I was and it was not a pretty picture. Later people would tell me how in the world could the psychiatrist not realize he was drugging me into oblivion?

 

I am surprised at how many journals I have stashed through the house from when I was on psych drugs. In one entry I had taken a good friend to see the psychiatrist about what was going on (wanted answers). I wanted to have someone with me when I talked to the psychiatrist after him admitting that he had wrongly diagnosed and polydrugged me. Why am I surprised that he said, "Aria you have been so sick". Sick? Yes I was very sick from being drugged! Of course he wasn't going to admit in front of a witness that he could be sued for malpractice. What was I thinking! Reading this journal entry rattled me because I had completely trusted this doctor for years. To have this psychiatrist lie to my face was terrible and he could do so because I was "mentally ill".  My word, the word of a mentally ill person, against a psychiatrist.

 

When I was helping one of my sister's client's taper off psychiatric drugs I was having serious deja vu. It brought up the anger, hopelessness, misery I dealt with when I was in withdrawal from the polypharmacy. I was also dealing with realization psychiatry was a fraud, had damaged me, that my medical charts had a bogus psychiatric diagnosis that was damning and trying to figure out how to get back my life. Then I had to figure out how to adapt and cope with me being off psychiatric drugs. Little steps tiny steps.

 

Did I have a good time at the beach? I did and we're going to the beach again next year. Looking forward to those wonderful shrimp dinners every night. Reconnecting with family members after they didn't want to have anything to do with me because I acted so strange (not knowing it was a psychiatric drugs). To know that they know psychiatry screwed me over big time. So I have my family again and some good friends. It's been an unbelievably difficult journey.

 

Aria

 

 

Unable at this time to correspond by private message.

 

Link to my Introduction thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2477-aria-my-psych-journey/

Reading my psychiatric records: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5466-drugged-crazy-reading-my-psychiatric-records/

My Success Story is listed under "Aria's Recovery".

 

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@Aria So happy to hear this great news. Are you completely symptom free and how long did it take you? I'm going to find your success story and read it. 

 

I am a smidge over a year into my journey and I have improved but am pretty far from my normal. I know I will be back whole and living symptom free one day. God gives me strength. 

Started Wellbutrin 300xl mid July, 2009. Stopped Wellbutrin 300xl cold turkey May 8, 2017

Started having symptoms started June 2, 2017. Started Wellbutrin 150xl July 7, 2017

Started Remeron 15mg August 15, 2017. Increased Remeron to 30mg October 4, 2017

Increased Wellbutrin to 300xl November 24, 2017. Lowered Wellbutrin 300xl back to 150xl January 8, 2018

Started weaning off of Remeron 30mg. Cut to 22.25mg January 11, 2018

Cut Remeron to 15mg January 18, 2018 Cut Remeron to 7.5mg January 25, 2018

Cut Remeron to 3.5mg January 30,2018. Stopped taking Remeron February 1, 2018

Currently taking: Fish Oil, Magnesium, Calcium, Vit D, Progesterone,

Hormone Replacement Pellets-Estrogen Testosterone 

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  • 6 months later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi there,

 

The staff at SA are wondering how you are.  We'd love to hear how you are doing now.   Would you mind dropping by and giving an update?

 

Thanks.

CC

NEW!!!     INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder    NEW!!! 

 

Plodding along inch by inch:  12" = 1',  3' =  36 " or 1 yard,  1760 yards  = 63,360" or 1 mile

Current from July 2021:  Pristiq 0.13mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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  • 1 month later...
noearthlyfamily

hi Aria

 

ChessieCat reccomended you as one of the few people who've made it thru tothe other side of withdrawal to the success of healing after over 20 years of psych meds. i had commented earlier that i wish there was someone who had made it thru after being on the meds as long as i have (24 years) that is a success story to give me hope,  and i'm so glad she reccomended you so i can read your story and be encouraged that healing after 2 decades on multiple psych meds is indeed possible and doable!

 

HUGS!

noearthlyfamily

UPDATED: 9/01/2019

Quetiapine:  2000-2005: 50mg;  2005: 100mg;   2008: 400mg;   2011: 100mg;   2014: 300mg;   2014-2017: 400mg;  7/2018-2/2019: 75mg;  1/2019: 68.75mg;  4/2019: completed switch to 3x daily dosing (25mg 8AM, 18.75mg 4PM, 25mg MIDNITE);  5/2019: 68.75mg (switched to all liquid taper using HUMCO suspension agent)  8/2019: 61mg       

Clonazepam:  2008: 2mg then 0.25mg;   2012: 0.5mg;   2014: 1mg;   4/2019: 1mg ~completed switch to 3x daily dosing (0.25mg 8AM, 0.25mg 2PM, 0.5mg 8PM);   8/2019: 1mg (switched to all liquid taper using propylene glycol as solvent)    

Gabapentin:   2011: 100mg;   2011: 200mg TID    2014: 300mg;  2017: 600mg;   2019: 900mg PM;   3/2019: completed switch to 3x daily dosing (300mg q8h)

Prior drugs: Please see this link:    (the remaining dates & meds records will be updated as i receive my complete medical files.)

Suppl's: Deva Vegan Multi & Mineral Supplement w/Greens 1x, Magnesium Lysinate Glycinate Chelate 100mg 4x, vit c 1000mg  2x, zinc gluconate 50mg 1x q.o.d., Allicin Max 180mg TID,  chlorella/spirulina 50/50 blend 2tabs 5x daily

HRT:  300mg oral progesterone h.s., 0.1mg estradiol transdermal patch 2x week

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Noearthlyfamily,

I had written this some time ago only posting it today. When I was dealing with tapering and withdrawal I didn't have the online support that is available today. It's been beneficial to me to blog about my psychiatric misadventure on Surviving Antidepressants and I'm glad that it helped you.

 

Aria

 

 

The psychiatrist I saw all those years is now lecturing on neuroleptics for a nice chunk of change. Since he was clueless about these drugs toxic effects I find it ludicrous that he's lecturing about them. Do I forgive him for what he did? No, never. My good friend of 40 years said I couldn't be the only one he over-prescribed and hazzardly attached labels to. She knew me before, during and after psychiatry.

 

The majority of people I socialize with don't  have a clue about psychiatry or psychiatric drugs. This is so different from when I was on the psychiatric merry go round and my friends were on heavy psychotropics (I am the only one who came off their psyche drugs). It was a long journey to heal after numerous years of polypharmacy with never being able to talk to someone in person who had a similar experience. I still have side effects from the neurotoxins like rapidly blinking eyes and my fingers tapping in the air. One of my concerns is finding a primary care doctor who won't have access to old medical records that list my psychiatric diagnosis. I may be free of psychiatry and psychiatric drugs but I'm still frightened of a psychiatric diagnosis that would make me lose any credibility.

 

On my first appointment with the psychiatrist he told me I had major depression which needed treatment like a diabetic needed insulin. This man truly didn't know my worth and I found out later only heard what he wanted to during my monthly med checks. The more drugs he piled on the less I could connect with the world and when I told him this he said it was my mental illness becoming worse. It's so bizarre how screwed up psychiatry is and they slowly convince you that you will never be okay.

 

On a good note I'm going to the beach again this spring with friends and family. I have a pile of books and knitting projects to take. To think when I first got off psychiatric drugs I couldn't read 5 pages and this week I finished a 400-page non fiction book in 2 and 1/2 days. I don't think I'm anybody special to come off psychiatric drugs and reclaim my life. I try to connect with people and keep busy. My silly feline is great company and makes me laugh.

 

Unable at this time to correspond by private message.

 

Link to my Introduction thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2477-aria-my-psych-journey/

Reading my psychiatric records: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5466-drugged-crazy-reading-my-psychiatric-records/

My Success Story is listed under "Aria's Recovery".

 

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noearthlyfamily
51 minutes ago, Aria said:

The more drugs he piled on the less I could connect with the world and when I told him this he said it was my mental illness becoming worse. It's so bizarre how screwed up psychiatry is and they slowly convince you that you will never be okay.

 

yup, same here. when i questioned anything i was reindoctrinated with the same ol same ol "you're the worst case of bipolar, etc etc we've ever seeen and you need meds forever til you die or you'll commit suicide". they actually told me take the drugs or5 you'll kill yourself!

 

i can't wait to be off all the meds and go to a private pay doc without using insurance so they wont see all the past dx's too. it's like a bad nightmare folowing me to every dr or clinic or any med professional i see for anything. they see that old DX of bipolar, Multiple Sclerosis, etc etc  and it colors the way i am treated heavily. 

UPDATED: 9/01/2019

Quetiapine:  2000-2005: 50mg;  2005: 100mg;   2008: 400mg;   2011: 100mg;   2014: 300mg;   2014-2017: 400mg;  7/2018-2/2019: 75mg;  1/2019: 68.75mg;  4/2019: completed switch to 3x daily dosing (25mg 8AM, 18.75mg 4PM, 25mg MIDNITE);  5/2019: 68.75mg (switched to all liquid taper using HUMCO suspension agent)  8/2019: 61mg       

Clonazepam:  2008: 2mg then 0.25mg;   2012: 0.5mg;   2014: 1mg;   4/2019: 1mg ~completed switch to 3x daily dosing (0.25mg 8AM, 0.25mg 2PM, 0.5mg 8PM);   8/2019: 1mg (switched to all liquid taper using propylene glycol as solvent)    

Gabapentin:   2011: 100mg;   2011: 200mg TID    2014: 300mg;  2017: 600mg;   2019: 900mg PM;   3/2019: completed switch to 3x daily dosing (300mg q8h)

Prior drugs: Please see this link:    (the remaining dates & meds records will be updated as i receive my complete medical files.)

Suppl's: Deva Vegan Multi & Mineral Supplement w/Greens 1x, Magnesium Lysinate Glycinate Chelate 100mg 4x, vit c 1000mg  2x, zinc gluconate 50mg 1x q.o.d., Allicin Max 180mg TID,  chlorella/spirulina 50/50 blend 2tabs 5x daily

HRT:  300mg oral progesterone h.s., 0.1mg estradiol transdermal patch 2x week

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 3/6/2019 at 11:03 PM, Aria said:

Noearthlyfamily,

I had written this some time ago only posting it today. When I was dealing with tapering and withdrawal I didn't have the online support that is available today. It's been beneficial to me to blog about my psychiatric misadventure on Surviving Antidepressants and I'm glad that it helped you.

 

Aria

 

 

The psychiatrist I saw all those years is now lecturing on neuroleptics for a nice chunk of change. Since he was clueless about these drugs toxic effects I find it ludicrous that he's lecturing about them. Do I forgive him for what he did? No, never. My good friend of 40 years said I couldn't be the only one he over-prescribed and hazzardly attached labels to. She knew me before, during and after psychiatry.

 

The majority of people I socialize with don't  have a clue about psychiatry or psychiatric drugs. This is so different from when I was on the psychiatric merry go round and my friends were on heavy psychotropics (I am the only one who came off their psyche drugs). It was a long journey to heal after numerous years of polypharmacy with never being able to talk to someone in person who had a similar experience. I still have side effects from the neurotoxins like rapidly blinking eyes and my fingers tapping in the air. One of my concerns is finding a primary care doctor who won't have access to old medical records that list my psychiatric diagnosis. I may be free of psychiatry and psychiatric drugs but I'm still frightened of a psychiatric diagnosis that would make me lose any credibility.

 

On my first appointment with the psychiatrist he told me I had major depression which needed treatment like a diabetic needed insulin. This man truly didn't know my worth and I found out later only heard what he wanted to during my monthly med checks. The more drugs he piled on the less I could connect with the world and when I told him this he said it was my mental illness becoming worse. It's so bizarre how screwed up psychiatry is and they slowly convince you that you will never be okay.

 

On a good note I'm going to the beach again this spring with friends and family. I have a pile of books and knitting projects to take. To think when I first got off psychiatric drugs I couldn't read 5 pages and this week I finished a 400-page non fiction book in 2 and 1/2 days. I don't think I'm anybody special to come off psychiatric drugs and reclaim my life. I try to connect with people and keep busy. My silly feline is great company and makes me laugh.

 

 

So great. So great.

 

Hoping the day for me and others  to come soon.

 

I had lost my 8 yrs..  3 yrs of any psychiatric drug free but still suffering.

 

Take care.  Wishes from India.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
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  • 10 months later...
Two months ago I read an obituary which referred to the deceased person's struggles with mental illness and how his family was grateful that he was now at peace. To me this tended to overshadow all this person's accomplishments (which were listed). If I had died from Seroquel Induced Acute Pancreatitis this would have been something my family and friends would have said about me ("poor Aria, she suffered so from mental illness, it'll just as well she's in a better place"). They wouldn't remember that I had a good job, bought a house, finished graduate school and was socially active before I walked into a psychiatrist's office. 
 
My memory is foggy from when I was heavily drugged. Recently I was going through a box of stuff and found a passport in my name? What, I got a passport 20 years ago? The picture was taken when I gained 100 pounds from the psyche drugs and I looked like a stoned bulldog. I had little impulse control, off the charts akathisia making me extremely agited and emotional, insomnia, gastro problems, you name it and it was all due to psychiatric drugs.
 
I see a neurologist regularly for my neuromuscular disease and in these meetings with my doctor nothing has ever come up about me being mentally ill. It's validating to me, psyche drug-free, that this intuitive physician doesn't think I'm crazy or even depressed. Years before when I was suffering exclusively from psychiatric drug toxicity (physical emotional psychological problems) no physician took me serious. Thank God I was lucid and had enough sense not to tell this neurologist about my torrid psychiatric journey.
 
Has my journey been this long? First psychiatric visit in late 1985 to being in the ICU  2002? Realizing a few months later how psychiatry lies and their psychiatric drugs destroy your life. It tooks years drug free to regain cognitive abilities but there's still memory lapses, times I can't focus. Imagine the number of people out there who have no idea psychiatric drugs are altering who they are? They're accepting being told by a physician everything they're experiencing is from them not anything else. The other day when I was at lunch one of the ladies mentioned she was starting to take Trazodone for sleep. Couldn't help myself and told her a few things about what she call a non addictive medication.
 
In the year 2020 I wish all of you a better journey, if you're tapering I wish you success and also with reclaiming your life drug free.
 
Aria
 
 
 

Unable at this time to correspond by private message.

 

Link to my Introduction thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2477-aria-my-psych-journey/

Reading my psychiatric records: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5466-drugged-crazy-reading-my-psychiatric-records/

My Success Story is listed under "Aria's Recovery".

 

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3 hours ago, Aria said:
Two months ago I read an obituary which referred to the deceased person's struggles with mental illness and how his family was grateful that he was now at peace. To me this tended to overshadow all this person's accomplishments (which were listed). If I had died from Seroquel Induced Acute Pancreatitis this would have been something my family and friends would have said about me ("poor Aria, she suffered so from mental illness, it'll just as well she's in a better place"). They wouldn't remember that I had a good job, bought a house, finished graduate school and was socially active before I walked into a psychiatrist's office. 
 
My memory is foggy from when I was heavily drugged. Recently I was going through a box of stuff and found a passport in my name? What, I got a passport 20 years ago? The picture was taken when I gained 100 pounds from the psyche drugs and I looked like a stoned bulldog. I had little impulse control, off the charts akathisia making me extremely agited and emotional, insomnia, gastro problems, you name it and it was all due to psychiatric drugs.
 
I see a neurologist regularly for my neuromuscular disease and in these meetings with my doctor nothing has ever come up about me being mentally ill. It's validating to me, psyche drug-free, that this intuitive physician doesn't think I'm crazy or even depressed. Years before when I was suffering exclusively from psychiatric drug toxicity (physical emotional psychological problems) no physician took me serious. Thank God I was lucid and had enough sense not to tell this neurologist about my torrid psychiatric journey.
 
Has my journey been this long? First psychiatric visit in late 1985 to being in the ICU  2002? Realizing a few months later how psychiatry lies and their psychiatric drugs destroy your life. It tooks years drug free to regain cognitive abilities but there's still memory lapses, times I can't focus. Imagine the number of people out there who have no idea psychiatric drugs are altering who they are? They're accepting being told by a physician everything they're experiencing is from them not anything else. The other day when I was at lunch one of the ladies mentioned she was starting to take Trazodone for sleep. Couldn't help myself and told her a few things about what she call a non addictive medication.
 
In the year 2020 I wish all of you a better journey, if you're tapering I wish you success and also with reclaiming your life drug free.
 
Aria
 
 
 

Amazing to read. Thank you for sharing your story! I hope you all the best in continued improvements! Have a great weekend :) 

I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

2021 - Feb. 12 - 24 months off paroxetine. I have minor challenges now. Tinnitus/Headaches are still around but are reduced by a massive amount. 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

@Aria how did you taper off these drugs if you don't mind me asking? how long was it?

Example:

2018 - Started Effexor 37.5 in Janurary of 2018
2019 January, 2nd  - Cold Turkeyed from Effexor for 3 days. Reinstated on the third day, then stabilized(It took 3 months to stabilize)

2019 June - I switched from Effexor instant release to Extended Release 37.5 for better tapering. I tapered to 50% in 4 weeks before reinstating my dosage back to 37.5(due to withdrawls). I waited 2 months to stabilize but never did at 37.5

2019 September - continued to taper in to 25% on extended release

2019 October - continued to taper to half of the beads(18.75mg)... WIthdrawls were so bad I tried switching back to the instant release at the same dosage(18.75mg)

2019 November 28th - Discontinued effexor at 18.75 without anymore tapering.

 

2020 January - Just can't sleep, have constipation, low libido and still lack of full emotion

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I was rereading your story and could not help but have the light bulb go off when you said “ psyche drug altering who they are”. I had no idea for almost 11 years. I very well could of been stuck on this drug merry go round for life. I am so thankful I am healing and off of it. 
 

Thank you once again for your great story. You are extremely strong and have gone to hell and back. All the best in your future!!!! Have a great life! 

I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

2021 - Feb. 12 - 24 months off paroxetine. I have minor challenges now. Tinnitus/Headaches are still around but are reduced by a massive amount. 

 

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Dear Aria, did you also suffer from intrusive doom thoughts, feeling not wanting to wake up and cannot think of future plans , that's part of ahedonia right, do they fade by time ? I'm so glad to have read your post as ahedonia and loss of life zest is the worst for me , I have 4 kids and rarely engage with them . I want these thoughts to vanish . I'm not sure is it the ahedonia causing these thoughts about death or vice versa . I have faith and believe that's the rope that's keeping me positive although my emotions are totally the opposite. I have only been on medication for 6 month and fast tapered 2 month ago but still on benzo Bec it slows down the rumination . 

 

I'm very hopeful; but in search for answers. 

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On 1/17/2020 at 9:06 PM, Aria said:
Two months ago I read an obituary which referred to the deceased person's struggles with mental illness and how his family was grateful that he was now at peace. To me this tended to overshadow all this person's accomplishments (which were listed). If I had died from Seroquel Induced Acute Pancreatitis this would have been something my family and friends would have said about me ("poor Aria, she suffered so from mental illness, it'll just as well she's in a better place"). They wouldn't remember that I had a good job, bought a house, finished graduate school and was socially active before I walked into a psychiatrist's office. 
 
My memory is foggy from when I was heavily drugged. Recently I was going through a box of stuff and found a passport in my name? What, I got a passport 20 years ago? The picture was taken when I gained 100 pounds from the psyche drugs and I looked like a stoned bulldog. I had little impulse control, off the charts akathisia making me extremely agited and emotional, insomnia, gastro problems, you name it and it was all due to psychiatric drugs.
 
I see a neurologist regularly for my neuromuscular disease and in these meetings with my doctor nothing has ever come up about me being mentally ill. It's validating to me, psyche drug-free, that this intuitive physician doesn't think I'm crazy or even depressed. Years before when I was suffering exclusively from psychiatric drug toxicity (physical emotional psychological problems) no physician took me serious. Thank God I was lucid and had enough sense not to tell this neurologist about my torrid psychiatric journey.
 
Has my journey been this long? First psychiatric visit in late 1985 to being in the ICU  2002? Realizing a few months later how psychiatry lies and their psychiatric drugs destroy your life. It tooks years drug free to regain cognitive abilities but there's still memory lapses, times I can't focus. Imagine the number of people out there who have no idea psychiatric drugs are altering who they are? They're accepting being told by a physician everything they're experiencing is from them not anything else. The other day when I was at lunch one of the ladies mentioned she was starting to take Trazodone for sleep. Couldn't help myself and told her a few things about what she call a non addictive medication.
 
In the year 2020 I wish all of you a better journey, if you're tapering I wish you success and also with reclaiming your life drug free.
 
Aria
 
 
 

 

hi,

 

How did you get access to psychiatric records?  i'm very concerned about this.

can you let me know what exam you did to check that on bold letters? ultrasound?

friends and family have impacted my life and reacted as well.

2011 protracted withdrawal symptoms from Effexor, managed to come off
2013-2015  risperidone consta 50 mg, started tapering from March 2015 to 1,66mg/day and from 02/2015 started seroxat 10mg/day

06/16 Seroxat 3mg/day, olanzapine 5mg,risperidone consta 2,5mg

09/16 Seroxat 2,7mg,olanzapine . 5mg,risperidone  consta 2,5mg

01/17 Seroxat 2,0mg,olanzapine 5mg,risperidone consta 25mg/every 15days

05/17 Seroxat 1mg,olanzapine 5mg,risp.consta 25mg/every 15days

06/17 Seroxat 2drops,olanzapine 5mg,liquid risperidone2mg

07/17 Seroxat 1 drop,olanzapine 5mg,Risperidone 0mg, 10/17 Seroxat 0mg,olanzapine,5mg,Risperidone 0mg, 12/17 Seroxat 1/2 drop, olanzapine 5mg,  04/18 Olanzapine 1,25mg, 04/18 xanax 0,5mg

24/06/2019 doc said to take 10mg olanzapine for 13days and down to 5mg
 been taking 10mg for 14 days, 5mg for 8 days  and  tapered to  3/4quart. 5mg  for 14 days, 1/2 5mg for 14 days,

01/08/19 2,5mg

Supplements Omega 3, Turmeric, Magnesium

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Yazz and Rozon1
 
I have to admit the overall drug withdrawal mental status for me was not good. I felt so alone, helpless, couldnt sleep. The biggest incentive for me was getting off the damn psychiatric drugs and that's what kept me going.  I cold turkeyed off Seroquel and tapered off several drugs at once in 2 years. Later I came off the benzo which took a year using calibrated cylinders for measured reductions.
 
 
Miko789
 
I was diagnosed with Acute Pancreatitis when I was admitted to the hospital's Intensive Care Unit. I was so ill they told my family I wasn't going to make it.
 
In the United States you can request hospital or physician records (there is a fee for having them printed) but to get psychiatric records I had to go through an attorney. This was done under my state HIPAA LAW 2003, which said I can have full access to any and all medical records. I did send letters on my own to a few physicians about getting copies of my records and when they did not respond in ample time or refused to coooperate, I reported them to HIPAA which demanded they release my records. Every letter I sent to physicians was done through certified mail so I knew they'd received it. 
 
I have an attorney write a letter to my psychiatrist requesting my psychiatric records. When I got the records they were not complete so I had a second letter sent through my attorney. Below is what I requested from the psychiatrist which included every drug he prescribed for me, office notes and any letter he sent to others that pertained to my state of mind.
 
"I want my complete medical records including names of, evaluations by, diagnoses by, treatment by and/or medications prescribed by any psychiatrist, physician or psychologist, correspondence from/with references to, and/or inferences based on information from any hospital, physician, psychologist or psychiatrist or any reference direct or indirect to any type of mental health treatment. This includes any reports, correspondence  test results or any other information in the records whether generated by the authorized provider or another entity".
 
Remember if you are able to get your psychiatric records what they say is not a reflection on who you are only what they think or have misinterpreted. It is very sobering to read negative demeaning things that a psychiatrist or psychologist will write about you. One therapist took everything I said out of context.
 
Over time things will get better. Believe in yourself.
 
Aria

Unable at this time to correspond by private message.

 

Link to my Introduction thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2477-aria-my-psych-journey/

Reading my psychiatric records: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5466-drugged-crazy-reading-my-psychiatric-records/

My Success Story is listed under "Aria's Recovery".

 

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  • 1 month later...
On 2/9/2014 at 4:52 AM, Aria said:
Aria's recovery from poly drugs
 
I had no idea when I walked into a psychiatrist's office 25 yrs ago the horrible labyrinth I'd entered. Slam dunked at a point in my life when I was feeling low and the loss of future possibilities taken away. Being told I was mentally ill, would never function again, needed to be on disability and poly drugged for the rest of my life repeatedly took it's toll.  All this impacted my relationships with family, friends and enjoying life. The pdoc constantly added new psych drugs, changed doses and took me off the old drugs at an alarming rate. I became a morbidly obese woman who mumbled or talked rapidly and it was obvious to everyone but the pdoc I was totally messed up on something.

I had Seroquel Induced Acute Pancreatitis that landed me in the hospital for quite awhile and my pdoc put in my open med chart I was crazy. I didn't know this till later but ill as I was I did notice some of my physicians were treating me oddly. One good thing about being so ill was I referred to a neurologist for chronic pain and found out my problem was profound drug induced Akathsia. This neurologist actually screamed at me, these psych drugs are killing you, they're killing you. I knew I had to get off these drugs not matter what it took and reclaim my life.

At my next appointment I asked my psychiatrist why he was drugging me like this and he looked directly at me (probably for the first time in years he saw "me"). He started sobbing, loudly sobbing, "Oh God what have I done to you", over and over. I'm sitting there thinking oh crap, I don't need this. Our 15 minute med check was up and this guy calmly goes to the front desk to get the next patient and proceeds without any other fanfare. He's robot. A robot. All this in itself was mind boggling. Hell, closure?? No way.
 

I found out I had Tardive Dyskinesia and a few other psych drug induced issues. My face was a road map with twitches and jerking that yelled hey, I'm on massive psychiatric drugs. Will my face be like this forever?? The TD has mostly gone away and I'm so grateful (the pdoc adamantly said I did not have Tardive Dyskinesia from psych drugs).

Well, guess what?? The psychiatrist was wrong...horribly wrong. Other doctors, psychiatrist, therapists said you're not mentally ill and never had been. The sad but very scarey part is I'm labeled as profoundly mentally ill and that info is in my medical charts. One pdoc did this...one. I've gone through the gambit of emotions dealing with this. I will probably always be mad at this jerk for what he did to me and for what he still does to others. It affected years of my life and he was wrong.

I'm a Success Story because I'm psych drug free and have been for several years. My journey was extremely difficult and I did it on my own hit or miss tapering off numerous psychiatric drugs. I endured drug withdrawals that paralyzed me month after month. Was it worth the hell of tapering? Yes, very much yes.  My reward was my clarity of mind, my passions for life returned and I have hopes for my future. I mended fences with family and have made new friends. I strive everyday to be productive.  I'm me but a different me because no one could go through all this and not be changed by it.

 

(for more in-depth conversations about my struggles, coping and self awareness with surviving psychiatry please visit my ongoing thread Aria's Psych Journey  http://survivinganti...psych-journey/)

Your story is true inspirational. Can you please update me about your tardives dyskenesia? Do you have occasional flares?

May 2018: 10mg Lexapro (once a day), and etizolaam 0.5 mg with proponolol 20mg twice a day

July 2018: got completely of etizolaam and proponol by weaning and using only once per day in June

October 2018: tapered Lexapro to 5mg using klonopin 0.25 mg as needed to reduce withdrawal symtoms

December 2018: quit Lexapro 5mg cold turkey and has to reinstate in three weeks used etizolaam to reduce symtoms as needed

March 2019: quit etizolaam 0.5mg cold turkey

September 2019: last does of Lexapro

November 2019: took klonopin 0.25 mg as needed to over come withdrawal symtoms sometimes 0.5mg. maximum dose of 0.75 mg per week

 

 

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Hi Aria,

 

How is your sleep going?

6.01.20 - 6.02.20: Seroquel/Quetiapine 25mg

7.02.20 - 13.02.20: Attempted CT ran into extreme rebound insomnia

13.02.20 - 04.07.20Reinstated and holding Seroquel/Quetiapine 13.5mg, 1mg Circadin 

Began Tapering of Seroquel

04.07.20 - Quetiapine 13mg 12.07.20 - Quetiapine 12.5mg 20.07.20 - Quetiapine 12mg 28.07.20 - Quetiapine 11.5mg

02.08.20 - Quetiapine 11.mg 06.08.20 - Quetiapine 10.5mg 10.08.20 - Quetiapine 10mg 15.08.20 Quetiapine 9.5mg

18.08.20 Quetiapine 9mg 23.08.20 Quetiapine 8.5 27.08.20 Quetiapine 8mg 31.08.20 Quetiapine 7.75mg 02.09.20 Quetiapine 7.5mg 06.09.20 Quetiapine 7.25mg 08.09.20 Quetiapine 7mg 12.09.20 Quetiapine 6.75mg 14.09.20 Quetiapine 6.5mg 19.09.20 Quetiapine 6.25mg 21.09.20 Quetiapine 6mg 24.09.20 Quetiapine 5.75mg 01.10.20 Quetiapine 5.5mg 03.10.20 Quetiapine 5.25mg 05.10.2020 Quetiapine 5mg 09.10.2020 Quetiapine 4.75mg 12.10.2020 Quetiapine 4.5mg 14.10.2020 Quetiapine 4.25mg 17.10.2020 Quetiapine 4mg 21.10.2020 Quetiapine 3.75mg 24.10.2020 Quetiapine 3.5mg 1.11.2020 Quetiapine 3 mg 7.11.2020 Quetiapine 2.5 mgs 13.11.2020 Quetiapine 2 mg 16.11.2020 Quetiapine 1.5 mg 20.11.2020 Quetiapine 1.25mg 23.11.2020 Quetiapine 1mg 26.12.2020 Quetiapine 0.75mg 16.01.2020 Quetiapine 0.5mg 17.02.2020 Quetiapine 0.25mg 17.03.2021 Quetiapine 0.125mg 9.04.2021 Quetiapine 0!!!

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  • 1 year later...
It's been well over a year since I've posted on the site. I'm mainly came here to put a little blurb on my profile that I cannot answer emails or offer one-to-one support. 
 
The online news and every other thing you could read watch hear was talking about the pandemic depression pandemic anxiety pandemic insomnia. I was dealing with sadness and not being as social during the pandemic and tried my best to go with it. Thankfully my local library was still functioning enough for me to pick up stacks of books to read and being able to order yarn for my knitting projects. Spring 2021 brought warmer weather planting flowers & herbs starting to get together with friends again and a recent beach trip has set my mood a little higher. 
 
It's been 10 years since I successfully went off my last psychiatric drug (the benzo Dalmane). Dalmane is an old powdered drug in a capsule that was hellacious to taper from. Three years ago a family member who was taking a little Xanax to help him sleep with his CPAP machine said he had no trouble coming off of it (he knew how I struggled to taper). Obviously he doesn't understand psychiatric poly drugging and what it can do to people especially what it did to me. I gave him a pass on this comment but it wasn't easy to do. That's the point so many people have no idea what psychiatric drugs do to you and how hard it can be to taper off of them. You gotta walk away shaking your head. My dealings with psychiatry fractured my relationships with family and friends. I had to work hard to regain what I have especially with family (it's far from prefect but better). I was fortunate enough to have made new friends over the years.
 
I'm glad their sites that offer support two people who questioned their psychiatric diagnosis and want to taper off the drugs. My drug taper which one I tried to figure out myself because there wasn't adequate information 20 years ago. As always I wish everyone on this site the very best with their Journey off psychiatric drugs and reclaiming their life.
 
Aria
 

Unable at this time to correspond by private message.

 

Link to my Introduction thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2477-aria-my-psych-journey/

Reading my psychiatric records: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5466-drugged-crazy-reading-my-psychiatric-records/

My Success Story is listed under "Aria's Recovery".

 

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@AriaThank you for continuing to provide updates. Finding helpful non-drug ways of coping through the pandemic with reading and knitting are the best ways to deal with this. 

 

15 hours ago, Aria said:

Three years ago a family member who was taking a little Xanax to help him sleep with his CPAP machine said he had no trouble coming off of it (he knew how I struggled to taper). Obviously he doesn't understand psychiatric poly drugging and what it can do to people especially what it did to me. I gave him a pass on this comment but it wasn't easy to do. That's the point so many people have no idea what psychiatric drugs do to you and how hard it can be to taper off of them.

 

So true. People just don't know. And sadly, your family member may think Xanax is no big deal and without understanding kindling, may take it again and find the next withdrawal not so easy. I wish we could get more information out there.

 

By continuing to provide updates here on your thread, you are adding to the knowledge base. So thank you! 

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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  • 4 weeks later...
It's time to take the trash out.
 

I finally did it. Years ago I said I would shred all of the psychiatric records I got from the psychiatrist through an attorney, hospitalization notes or any physician notes that were dated. It took most of the afternoon but what I shredded filled up two 30 gallon plastic bags. I feel such a relief because this paperwork was stored under my bed like toxic waste (which is what it was). I did skim through the psychiatrist office notes again and over and over he would talk about my mental deterioration as he added another drug or quickly took me off something else. When I finally had that heart-to-heart talk with him after I realized the drugs were driving me crazy he broke down in his office sobbing (no surprise he didn't mention that in his office notes). Once I started tapering and finally came off the drugs the crippling emotional physical and psychological effects disappeared. So on a polypharmacy I'm diagnosed as schizoaffective and off them (according to him) I have little if any depression? He kept saying he couldn't understand what was going on with me and yet he says the same thing when I'm drug free? He's knew at this point what was going on but he was loathe to admit it.

 
It still hurt to read what he wrote. He adamentedly denied that I had tardive dyskinesia, tardive dystonia, Akathisia and about everything else you can imagine that are considered toxic effects of these drugs. The Akathisia was the one drug-induced effect that became the bane of my existence. There were many words to describe it but experiencing it non stop for years was unbelievable. 
 
In one of the folders I was shredding were notes from when I went to a therapist after I realized what the drugs did to me. She was aghast at my psychiatric diagnosis and the amount of psychiatric drugs I'd been prescribed. She pointedly told me there was nothing wrong with me and what happened to me was outright malpractice. She was very proactive in requesting the psychiatrist's office notes (he left her a ominous voicemail refusing to do this). That's when I knew I had to have an attorney officially request my records.
 
I wanted to put down what I've been feeling the last day or two about this and hoping in some way it would help any of you reading this. This has been hard for me and I barely slept last night. I also found a journal where I detailed the mental anguish I was suffering. I had no idea the psychiatric drugs were causing this, poison to my body and psyche and it was unbelievably horrific to read. The psychiatric notes, records and journal entries have been shredded. They are officially gone from my house.  My God what a journey I was on and I survived.
 
Aria

Unable at this time to correspond by private message.

 

Link to my Introduction thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2477-aria-my-psych-journey/

Reading my psychiatric records: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5466-drugged-crazy-reading-my-psychiatric-records/

My Success Story is listed under "Aria's Recovery".

 

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