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Zoe

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Brian Borgman - I listened to "A Survey of Church History".  You can click on Filter by and I select series and then choose a series.

 

I've listened to some of Phil Johnson and also Justin Peters.

 

I'm very cautious about who I listen to and have found that all preachers, obviously because they are human, are imperfect.  One I was listening to recently said that Luke, a doctor, travelled around with Jesus and would have seen the healings that Jesus did.  However, this is not backed up in Scripture.  To me that was such a big error for a preacher to make that I won't listen to him again.

 

I've found that it's also important to realise that all preachers have their own bias, whether that be Calvinism, dispensationalism or coventantism, predestination, preterist, and there are also amillenialism, pre millenialism and post millenialism.  As I've come across each of these terms I've researched and learned more about them which helps when listening to preachers because you have a better understanding of their own beliefs and whether you can "lay it aside" and hear their message regardless of their bias.

 

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

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If you need reassurance of being saved you might try and find Nicky Gumble and his series called "Alpha" - these are excellent and easily and understood and very simple.

 

The important thing, I believe is to do what you can - even if that means your prayer for the day is just one word - "help"

And your Bible reading might be just 1 psalm a day or 5 minutes.  Whatever you can do.

That's how I started back.

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

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This link, Perry Stone talks about when you don't have the sense of the presence of God and have to go by "faith"

And when the heavens seem like brass and you feel like your prayers go unanswered and you think God doesn't hear you:

 

 

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

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I too, have battled this whole deal - ending up in unbelief and that's not the way to go!  I came to the conclusion that the whole thing is a test of our faith to see if we will remain "faithful" to the end, even when we feel God is not there or believe God has abandonded us (that's a good one, for me and perhaps many of us).

 

I began to question many of the American preachers with their focus on prosperity, miracles, and hyped-up faith messages.  Some are okay - one in particular who is very balanced is Charles Stanley.  I then began to hear "the other side of the coin" - and to realise that the disciples went through all these things, the prophets did and so too, did Jesus, Himself and we, the student, are not greater than Jesus, our teacher!

 

Perhaps for too long, we have had it too good, and not had to face any trials, suffering or persecution?  We are not familiar with words like patience, endurance and perseverance! 

 

 

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

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Please lord let me feel love, pure unconditional love.

Was on Seroquel 400mg and Lexapro 10mg from August 2014 - July 2017 for 3 years. Weaned off both of them in April 2017, by July 2017  I was completely off them.

 

Reinstated Lexapro 5mg to 10mg Dec 2017 - Jan 2018

Reinstated seroquel  up to 400mg Dec 2017- Feb 2018

Prozac up to 40mg Jan 2018 - Feb 2018

Risperdal Feb 2018 1.5mg

Luvox Feb 2018 50mg. 

Seroquel 200mg - present. Going down to 100mg April 23, 2018

 

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GrandmaD & Chessie Cat, Thanks so much for your wonderful suggestions!  I listened to Dr. Perry Phillps' first message on the Holy Land and was struck by how he described Israel in terms of climate and agriculture.  It made the Israelites dependent on God for everything due to conditions in the land.  I've been to Israel twice and have studied the history of it for a long time, but I hadn't thought about what Dr. Phillips said in that one message and it really resonated with me.  

 

In this psych med darkness, we, too, have to rely on Christ to deliver us, yet again, because we are completely helpless to do anything for ourselves other than believe Him even when He seems silent and far-removed.  If He died to remove our sins from us so we could be united with the Father, Himself and the Holy Spirit, then surely He can and will deliver us from the atrocity of psych med withdrawal torture.  

 

I live-streamed a Tim Keller conference Friday and Saturday on Gospel Identity Formation and it was fantastic!  It look place at Redeemer Presbyterian in NYC and there were 800 people present with about 150 live-streaming.  I learned so much about myself and how we have to recognize that Christ defines us supremely above all others in order to live as He created us and intended for us to live.  

 

Thanks again for the helpful posts....let's all keep helping and encouraging one another in our Wonderful Savior!!!  

 

2016-Aug-Prescribed 2 mg Ativan & 10 mg Ambien; Oct-c/o from 20 mg Lexapro to 60 mg Cymbalta; Nov-Dec-Tapered off 10 mg Ambien    

2017-Jan-Feb c/o from 1.75 mg Ativan to 13 mg Valium & begin daily liquid micro taper; May-taper Cymbalta 60 mg to 48 mg with severe withdrawals.  Begin 11 month Cymbalta hold.

2018-Jan 11 completed Valium taper; Apr-Resume Cymbalta taper.  Interval dose progress: Apr 43 mg; May 40 mg; Jul 35 mg; Sep 29 mg; Dec 21 mg; 

2019- Apr 14 mg; Jun 11 mg; Aug 9 mg; Oct 7 mg; Nov 6 mg

2020-Jan 5.2 mg; Feb 4.8 mg; Mar 4.3 mg; Apr 3.9 mg; May 3.5 mg; Jun 3.3 mg; Jul 2.9 mg; Aug 2.7 mg; 28 Sep 2.4 mg/12 beads; 25 Oct 2.2 mg/11 beads; 22 Nov 2.0 mg/10 beads; 20 Dec 1.8 mg/9 beads

2021- 17 Jan 1.6 mg/8 beads; 14 Feb 1.4 mg/7 beads; 18 Mar 1.2 mg/6 beads; 18 Apr 1.0 mg/5 beads; 16 May

0.8 mg/4 beads; 13 Jun 0.6 mg/3 beads; 11 Jul 0.5 mg/2 beads; 8 Aug .03 mg/1 bead; 5 Sep 0 mg.

Brutal, agonizing, slow 4.5 year Cymbalta taper completed as of 5 Sep 2021.  100% psych drug free.  

 

 

 

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ShakeyJ - Just wanted to say thank you for recommended that book 'DARE" .  I am most impressed with it.  Easy to read and understand.  Repetitive, which is what I need for the important bits!  And so simple!  I have started to practice it and found I do okay when anxiety is mild, but when it is moderate, is not so easy and when it is high, I lost the plot!  However, it will take practice and I intend to keep at it.  If you download the audio, he gets your email and sends adds but also a forum on FB I gather if you want to join and some encouragement too!

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

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I am going through hell right now, and all I ask is that God or an Angel walk beside me. 

Was on Seroquel 400mg and Lexapro 10mg from August 2014 - July 2017 for 3 years. Weaned off both of them in April 2017, by July 2017  I was completely off them.

 

Reinstated Lexapro 5mg to 10mg Dec 2017 - Jan 2018

Reinstated seroquel  up to 400mg Dec 2017- Feb 2018

Prozac up to 40mg Jan 2018 - Feb 2018

Risperdal Feb 2018 1.5mg

Luvox Feb 2018 50mg. 

Seroquel 200mg - present. Going down to 100mg April 23, 2018

 

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On 11/15/2017 at 10:07 PM, grandmaD said:

I too, have battled this whole deal - ending up in unbelief and that's not the way to go!  I came to the conclusion that the whole thing is a test of our faith to see if we will remain "faithful" to the end, even when we feel God is not there or believe God has abandonded us (that's a good one, for me and perhaps many of us).

 

I began to question many of the American preachers with their focus on prosperity, miracles, and hyped-up faith messages.  Some are okay - one in particular who is very balanced is Charles Stanley.  I then began to hear "the other side of the coin" - and to realise that the disciples went through all these things, the prophets did and so too, did Jesus, Himself and we, the student, are not greater than Jesus, our teacher!

 

Perhaps for too long, we have had it too good, and not had to face any trials, suffering or persecution?  We are not familiar with words like patience, endurance and perseverance! 

 

 

Grandma D,  I am a woman of faith. I have been growing in the Lord since I was 18 years old.  I have been through some deep dark trials in my life and I am 54 years old. But, WD, this has been absolutely the longest  and most intense of any thus far. The waves continue to come like clockwork and this has been going on now for two years.  Yes, I am better than one year ago but the process is non linear.  In the waves I struggle so much with my faith. I know that my Lord loves me!!!  I know He has been sustaining me. I know that for me to one day be free from this drug, I must walk this road of WD and like all others who cannot just get off and be fine three months later, I must endure protracted WD. I know I must trust the process and take stock in the success stories, I know all of this with my head, and even some parts in my heart, but in these waves, I too question the suffering, the length of time , and am filled with doubts and fears.  Always in the waves this happens.  Hence, I know it is neuro amplified!!!!  Oh but it is so hard.  And you are so right when you say we are not familiar with words like patience, endurance and perseverance.  Surely I have read the words over and over but the EXPERIENCE of these words I have not ever been asked to LIVE, as I am now.  Again today, I am relying on Christ Jesus my Lord to sustain and enable me by His all sufficiency GRACE and POWER.  Never before in my life have I been faced so directly with my weakness. Never before in my life have I found myself so dependent upon Jesus Christ my Lord.  

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On 11/23/2017 at 4:02 PM, Lojo016 said:

I am going through hell right now, and all I ask is that God or an Angel walk beside me. 

Lojo, I am praying for you.  This is indeed a very difficult road we travel. We are not alone!  Even in the waves, when we are apt to feel abandoned, we are not so.  Even here Our Lords hand will guide us, His strong right hand holds us secure. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

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this helped me to keep going and I pray it helps someone else also:

 

To what sort of people is the right to eat from the tree of life in God's Paradise?  Rev. 2:7

To what sort of people is given a new name and hidden manna? Rev. 2:17

To what sort of people is given authority over the nations?  Rev. 2:26

To what sort of people is given new clothes?  Rev. 3:5

To what sort of people will be made a pillar (a permanent position of honour)?  Rev. 3:12

To what sort of people will be given the right to sit on the throne of God?  Rev. 3:21

To what sort of people will be given eternal life - with no more pain,tears or suffering?  Rev. 21:7

 

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

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  • Moderator

Ahhhh, I may have to take a look at that last book in the New Testament now grandmaD..........  I already did briefly.   I guess Revelations, the last book of the Old Testament New Testament, isn't so scary as I once thought.   As I was typing to CPU this morning..........I still struggle to put my spirituality into "Biblical or religious terms" and wonder about that in meditation and prayer, if you will.  I've always found Revelations a bit scary........the symbolism and such.  The end of this world that we know.

 

Oh, I'm a woman of faith as well.........ever morphing and growing.  I think that learning to listen..........once you pray/meditate/reflect...........and being open to answers from "the Great One" is great.  Not second guessing or asking for specifics sometimes.  Giving thanks.   That realization that "pain IS the touchstone of all spiritual growth"..........it's a tough one, yet it IS.

 

On 11/25/2017 at 11:20 PM, grandmaD said:

this helped me to keep going and I pray it helps someone else also:

 

To what sort of people is the right to eat from the tree of life in God's Paradise?  Rev. 2:7

To what sort of people is given a new name and hidden manna? Rev. 2:17

To what sort of people is given authority over the nations?  Rev. 2:26

To what sort of people is given new clothes?  Rev. 3:5

To what sort of people will be made a pillar (a permanent position of honour)?  Rev. 3:12

To what sort of people will be given the right to sit on the throne of God?  Rev. 3:21

To what sort of people will be given eternal life - with no more pain,tears or suffering?  Rev. 21:7

 

 

I mean the answers to the above seem simple.  All of us.  If we believe.  Love.  And are kind.  And have some basic values, which I think we all do.   The wording is tough for me sometimes though and so much got lost, in all the translations of the Bible.  Or maybe it's all that old time wording.    I guess my favorite version is my "Life Recovery Bible"..........yet, I do try to compare it with the King James.  It's a lot of work though.......a lot of rational thinking..........I'm doubtful that too much of our overthinking ever got us closer to G-D, who is the Great Spirit and thank goodness we don't always understand the Great Mystery.   And all the whys or whats.

 

I'll be putting it out there more formally today, during Sweat Lodge, Inipi.  Hope you all get a moment at least of calm and know that you are......indeed........healing.

 

Love, peace

manymoretodays

 

I couldn't find the post from the woman who was so worried about her journey into what I think she called "the occult".  And sometimes I still worry about doing things like Sweat Lodges/Inipis on and all that that comes from generations of Native Americans.   Not so much anymore.........especially if I look at it all as a "gift".  And I certainly don't put it all above the "Great One/G-D".   I believe it is part of Him/Her/Baby Jesus/Christ

 

Am rather thankful.  The Spirit is Within/Without I believe.

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays
correction to New Testament, Doh

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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14 hours ago, grandmaD said:

this helped me to keep going and I pray it helps someone else also:

 

To what sort of people is the right to eat from the tree of life in God's Paradise?  Rev. 2:7

To what sort of people is given a new name and hidden manna? Rev. 2:17

To what sort of people is given authority over the nations?  Rev. 2:26

To what sort of people is given new clothes?  Rev. 3:5

To what sort of people will be made a pillar (a permanent position of honour)?  Rev. 3:12

To what sort of people will be given the right to sit on the throne of God?  Rev. 3:21

To what sort of people will be given eternal life - with no more pain,tears or suffering?  Rev. 21:7

 

 

Thank you so much grandmaD for reminding us of what we will have forever.  "I reckon that the sufferings of this world are not worthy to be compared...."   Such joy coming up!
 

1971-81  Valium 5mg c/t PAWS     1992- through now Zoloft 25mg    2003-05 Valium 12mg Slow Taper Off

2013 Afrin Exposure to CNS    2013 O/D Val 230mg    2013 Doxepin 50mg Clonidine 2mg Zoloft 25mg

3/15/16  Doxepin 49mg Micro Tapering  Zoloft 24.3mg Holding taper

3/15/16 Clonidine mg 0.1 1/2 -    Decreasing incrementally. 

10/9/16  Doxepin 48.9  Zoloft 24.3  Clonidine  01.10  Continuing micro taper on Doxepin.

11/16/16 Doxepin 48mg  Zoloft 24.3mg  Clonidine 1.30mg

5/4/17  Doxepin 45mg  Zoloft 24mg  Clonidine 1.20mg   Micro taper of Doxepin, Clonidine

01/13/19  Doxepin 45mg   Zoloft 21mg   Will start Micro taper of Doxepin 2/19

 

 

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18 hours ago, SelmaLady said:

 

Thank you so much grandmaD for reminding us of what we will have forever.  "I reckon that the sufferings of this world are not worthy to be compared...."   Such joy coming up!
 

 

18 hours ago, SelmaLady said:

 

Thank you so much grandmaD for reminding us of what we will have forever.  "I reckon that the sufferings of this world are not worthy to be compared...."   Such joy coming up!!!

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Thank you both.  I am asking for prayer this AM. It seems that my waves have taken on a deeper level of blue as of late.   The process has been long in my mind and so difficult.  I am asking for perspective and trust.  Perhaps 19 months into RI on small dose isn’t long in the whole picture but it feels long.  In the wave is always the doom and gloom. I am asking for true acceptance for what is. Deep deep acceptance.   Pure allowance of all the symptoms.  Please lift me in your prayers as I will all of us. Thank you. 

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1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

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Thank you GrandmaD for posting the Charles Stanley message on pain and suffering. Thank you Gigi63 for your candid input too. I, like so many others have been clinging onto the word of God during these agonizing days and nights of suffering that seem to have no end. I have YouTubed so many sermons on this subject over the last several months.... all by pastors I respect and trust. I especially like learning from those individuals who they themselves have suffered greatly during their lifetimes. My withdrawal brain wants to take these truths from me but I will not be denied! Hang in there fellow saints. God is with us. God is for us. God Loves us more than our little feeble minds can comprehend. 

12 years on Klonopin 1mg. (Until Aug. 1, 2016)

6 years on Zolpidem 10mg. (currently titrating)

Titrated Klonopin (5%/14 days) 10 month titration

Finished Klonopin titration (Aug. 2016)

Began Zolpidem taper Nov. 4, 2016. 5%/14 days

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On 11/15/2017 at 9:48 PM, grandmaD said:

If you need reassurance of being saved you might try and find Nicky Gumble and his series called "Alpha" - these are excellent and easily and understood and very simple.

GrandmaD, Thank you SO much for telling me about Nicky Gumble.  I've listened to some of his Alpha messages and really, really like what He says about our Lord Jesus Christ.  He presents the Truth in a clear and compelling manner.  

 

Please let me know of others like him that you have found.  Thanks again for the wonderful encouragement!

 

2016-Aug-Prescribed 2 mg Ativan & 10 mg Ambien; Oct-c/o from 20 mg Lexapro to 60 mg Cymbalta; Nov-Dec-Tapered off 10 mg Ambien    

2017-Jan-Feb c/o from 1.75 mg Ativan to 13 mg Valium & begin daily liquid micro taper; May-taper Cymbalta 60 mg to 48 mg with severe withdrawals.  Begin 11 month Cymbalta hold.

2018-Jan 11 completed Valium taper; Apr-Resume Cymbalta taper.  Interval dose progress: Apr 43 mg; May 40 mg; Jul 35 mg; Sep 29 mg; Dec 21 mg; 

2019- Apr 14 mg; Jun 11 mg; Aug 9 mg; Oct 7 mg; Nov 6 mg

2020-Jan 5.2 mg; Feb 4.8 mg; Mar 4.3 mg; Apr 3.9 mg; May 3.5 mg; Jun 3.3 mg; Jul 2.9 mg; Aug 2.7 mg; 28 Sep 2.4 mg/12 beads; 25 Oct 2.2 mg/11 beads; 22 Nov 2.0 mg/10 beads; 20 Dec 1.8 mg/9 beads

2021- 17 Jan 1.6 mg/8 beads; 14 Feb 1.4 mg/7 beads; 18 Mar 1.2 mg/6 beads; 18 Apr 1.0 mg/5 beads; 16 May

0.8 mg/4 beads; 13 Jun 0.6 mg/3 beads; 11 Jul 0.5 mg/2 beads; 8 Aug .03 mg/1 bead; 5 Sep 0 mg.

Brutal, agonizing, slow 4.5 year Cymbalta taper completed as of 5 Sep 2021.  100% psych drug free.  

 

 

 

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I am the child of a kind, strong and engaged Father. A father wise enough to guide me in the Way, generous enough to provide for my journey. There is no pit so deep that God’s Love is not deeper still. Never be afraid to trust the unknown future to our known God!

12 years on Klonopin 1mg. (Until Aug. 1, 2016)

6 years on Zolpidem 10mg. (currently titrating)

Titrated Klonopin (5%/14 days) 10 month titration

Finished Klonopin titration (Aug. 2016)

Began Zolpidem taper Nov. 4, 2016. 5%/14 days

Link to comment

Abovethestorm, I'm glad you also received something from Charles Stanley.  I was so full of why? why?  I guess we all want to know why the suffering and the purpose of it all and so on!  thank you for your reminder that I don't have to do this in my own strength, but to trust my Heavenly Father and remember His love, kindness and strength! 

 

Gardenlady, I'm glad this was helpful.  It's good to have a refresher course from Nicky every year.  I love his simplicity, so easy to understand.

As for other preachers, when my brain shut down and I couldn't pray or read and felt abandonded by God, I received great encouragement from Joel Osteen.  When my head started to improve and I could concentrate more and take more in, I received a lot of strength from Joyce Meyer.

 

Gigi 66  Heavenly Father I pray that you will sustain Gigi thru the storm and waves and help her to cling on to You. Let Your light shine and show her the way through. Amen  (By the way, I actually light a physical candle every day! and pray this prayer for myself:  "LOrd Jesus, you said you are the light of the world, please let Your light shine in my head, heart and soul today."

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

The Bible repeatedly warns us to beware of false teachers.  I am concerned that some of you are listening to false teachers.   Please visit this website and watch Justin Peters' video near the top of the page.  Towards the bottom of the page there is a list of false teachers.  Some have photos, some do not, so don't overlook them.  Next to their names you will see what teaching they are connected to.

 

I have not posted this message lightly.  I have recently been watching many videos about false teachers and the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR), the Word of Faith (WOF) movement, the Emergent/Emerging churches, seeker sensitive churches, new age beliefs and teachings entering the church, one world church, ecumenicism.  I attended pentecostal churches for 10 years as an adult and left just after the so-called Toronto Blessing was being encouraged in my church.  After I watching these videos I believe that God gave me discernment at that time and as a result I left the pentecostal church.

 

Please ask God to give you discernment about any teaching you listen to.  If you would like links to some worthwhile videos that I have watched on these topics, please send me a PM.

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

Link to comment
On 12/1/2017 at 10:01 PM, ChessieCat said:

The Bible repeatedly warns us to beware of false teachers.  I am concerned that some of you are listening to false teachers.   Please visit this website and watch Justin Peters' video near the top of the page.  Towards the bottom of the page there is a list of false teachers.  Some have photos, some do not, so don't overlook them.  Next to their names you will see what teaching they are connected to.

 

I have not posted this message lightly.  I have recently been watching many videos about false teachers and the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR), the Word of Faith (WOF) movement, the Emergent/Emerging churches, seeker sensitive churches, new age beliefs and teachings entering the church, one world church, ecumenicism.  I attended pentecostal churches for 10 years as an adult and left just after the so-called Toronto Blessing was being encouraged in my church.  After I watching these videos I believe that God gave me discernment at that time and as a result I left the pentecostal church.

 

Please ask God to give you discernment about any teaching you listen to.  If you would like links to some worthwhile videos that I have watched on these topics, please send me a PM.

On 12/1/2017 at 4:55 PM, grandmaD said:

Abovethestorm, I'm glad you also received something from Charles Stanley.  I was so full of why? why?  I guess we all want to know why the suffering and the purpose of it all and so on!  thank you for your reminder that I don't have to do this in my own strength, but to trust my Heavenly Father and remember His love, kindness and strength! 

 

Gardenlady, I'm glad this was helpful.  It's good to have a refresher course from Nicky every year.  I love his simplicity, so easy to understand.

As for other preachers, when my brain shut down and I couldn't pray or read and felt abandonded by God, I received great encouragement from Joel Osteen.  When my head started to improve and I could concentrate more and take more in, I received a lot of strength from Joyce Meyer.

 

Gigi 66  Heavenly Father I pray that you will sustain Gigi thru the storm and waves and help her to cling on to You. Let Your light shine and show her the way through. Amen  (By the way, I actually light a physical candle every day! and pray this prayer for myself:  "LOrd Jesus, you said you are the light of the world, please let Your light shine in my head, heart and soul today."

Grandma D. Thank you for your prayer. It is wonderful to know that you prayed for me.  I too pray for us all.  I would like to report a troubling situation and ask for feedback.  In our community we have a few large Christian non denominational churches. The senior pastor of this one 35 year old church took his life a couple of days ago.  The community is deeply distressed. We do not know all the details of this situation but I know a couple of things.  Depression is listed in the paper. Someone very close to the family told me that there were some significant family heartaches going on. Secondly, the local newspaper article stated he was under the care of a physician and a therapist. This troubled me. Why? Because i immediately thought, ok, there must be prescription drugs involved. As we all know, these drugs are very difficult and even dangerous. I thought to myself, what influence might drugs have had????  I say this because this act is so not like this mans character.  Obviously I also struggle with the deep sorrow of this in light of this mans many years walking with the Lord.  I cannot help but think psychiatric drugs were a factor.  How do I reconcile this sorrow and the questions in my mind that beg for understanding????  I am hopeful for some thoughts. Thank you again for the prayers. Very timely!!!!

Link to comment

I think it is understandable to have these questions, I think we all do.  to be quite honest, when I hear news like this, no matter whether the person is Christian or not, my first response is ALWAYS - were prescription drugs involved?  I never had so many suicidal thoughts as when I was going through w/d and was certainly not prone to suicide or depression before this poison. 

 

Unfortunately, that aspect (prescription drugs) never comes out in the media because they would never believe it could be related, besides big pharma who make billions have to much to lose and don't want bad publicity.

 

I also believe we are living in dark days and that Jesus is coming again soon.  He is our only hope and the hope of the world.  I think the church is under great attack many years now.  The US is going downhilll fast and now we will follow, as they just passed a law in our country to legalise homosexuality.

 

I know many on this site who said they were Christians but have lost their faith as a result of w/d.  I have another friend who is going through other issues and in the same boat - I think our faith is being severely tested.  That is why I posted that post from Revelations about being an OVERCOMER.

 

Realise your faith is being tested and determine in yourself to stand firm, hold your ground no matter how bad it gets.  Remember all the trials Paul went through and check out Josh 1:9 for encouragement. 

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

Link to comment

Chessie cat, I appreciate your warning about false teachers and agree this is something we all need to be on the alert for and we need to pray for discernerment every day. 

 

Your link tells of many "false preachers" but you cannot believe anything the internet says.  If I wanted to bother, I could probably find dirt on the preachers you currently listen to.  Added to that, cults have been on the rise for quite some time now.

 

I am sorry for your bad experience at Toronto  - I did hear of it here at the time and I got very hurt also as a result because of a lady who went there and saw and heard and brought it back... this is not the place to discuss that now  ... but yes, people get very hurt.

 

First I would say to stay balanced - don't go to the other extreme.  You can imagine if you you took all the "bad" bits out of every book you read, you would never read another book.  If you did the same with every movie, you would never watch another one.  For example, many people absolutely HATE "the shack" whereas I was blessed by it due to a devastating relationship with my mother, could not relate to a "male" image of God, but that movie somehow has brought healing to me in both those areas.   I believe that if our Heavenly Father wants to heal us, he can use ANY MEANS POSSIBLE!  After, all, didn't he use a donkey to get through to Baalam?

 

Secondly, I had a beautiful mentor when I was first converted to Christianity, like the mother I never had (and the Lord used her to heal me n that area also -and she is now in her 90's!!) and had/have great respect for her advice and never forgotten it:  She said:

"to pray for discernment before reading or watching anything and ask the Lord to sift out the chaff and blow it away and to retain the grain that you need to hear/see."

 

Finally and most important of all - remember, that NO ONE MAN HAS ALL THE TRUTH...ONLY GOD HAS ALL THE TRUTH.

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi GrandmaD, I most certainly agree with your comments.

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

Link to comment
On 12/6/2017 at 7:11 PM, grandmaD said:

I think it is understandable to have these questions, I think we all do.  to be quite honest, when I hear news like this, no matter whether the person is Christian or not, my first response is ALWAYS - were prescription drugs involved?  I never had so many suicidal thoughts as when I was going through w/d and was certainly not prone to suicide or depression before this poison. 

 

Unfortunately, that aspect (prescription drugs) never comes out in the media because they would never believe it could be related, besides big pharma who make billions have to much to lose and don't want bad publicity.

 

I also believe we are living in dark days and that Jesus is coming again soon.  He is our only hope and the hope of the world.  I think the church is under great attack many years now.  The US is going downhilll fast and now we will follow, as they just passed a law in our country to legalise homosexuality.

 

I know many on this site who said they were Christians but have lost their faith as a result of w/d.  I have another friend who is going through other issues and in the same boat - I think our faith is being severely tested.  That is why I posted that post from Revelations about being an OVERCOMER.

 

Realise your faith is being tested and determine in yourself to stand firm, hold your ground no matter how bad it gets.  Remember all the trials Paul went through and check out Josh 1:9 for encouragement. 

Thank you for your thoughts GrandmaD.  I am grieving the loss and feel so sad. I do not know all the details at all. One thing I did find out from s very reliable person was that just six weeks ago, the pastor was started on psychiatric drugs. Not sure what but she said through tears, we could see he had lost the light in his eyes after that!!!’  I have read And listened to Peter Breggin and Charles Whitfield.  These drugs are so bad for us.  Will be so glad to one day be free of the drug. Going very slow, very slow now!!!!

Link to comment
On 12/6/2017 at 7:22 PM, grandmaD said:

Chessie cat, I appreciate your warning about false teachers and agree this is something we all need to be on the alert for and we need to pray for discernerment every day. 

 

Your link tells of many "false preachers" but you cannot believe anything the internet says.  If I wanted to bother, I could probably find dirt on the preachers you currently listen to.  Added to that, cults have been on the rise for quite some time now.

 

I am sorry for your bad experience at Toronto  - I did hear of it here at the time and I got very hurt also as a result because of a lady who went there and saw and heard and brought it back... this is not the place to discuss that now  ... but yes, people get very hurt.

 

First I would say to stay balanced - don't go to the other extreme.  You can imagine if you you took all the "bad" bits out of every book you read, you would never read another book.  If you did the same with every movie, you would never watch another one.  For example, many people absolutely HATE "the shack" whereas I was blessed by it due to a devastating relationship with my mother, could not relate to a "male" image of God, but that movie somehow has brought healing to me in both those areas.   I believe that if our Heavenly Father wants to heal us, he can use ANY MEANS POSSIBLE!  After, all, didn't he use a donkey to get through to Baalam?

 

Secondly, I had a beautiful mentor when I was first converted to Christianity, like the mother I never had (and the Lord used her to heal me n that area also -and she is now in her 90's!!) and had/have great respect for her advice and never forgotten it:  She said:

"to pray for discernment before reading or watching anything and ask the Lord to sift out the chaff and blow it away and to retain the grain that you need to hear/see."

 

Finally and most important of all - remember, that NO ONE MAN HAS ALL THE TRUTH...ONLY GOD HAS ALL THE TRUTH.

Very well said, yes, I agree also. Asking for discernment and perspective, Our Lords perspective.  GrandmaD, I surrender myself multiple times daily to the Lord as I am completely reliant upon His Grace and Strength. This has been a very difficult and even frightening journey, with the multitude of discontinuation symptoms and exaggerated neuro emotions!!!!  I just know without Him, the struggle would be even more intense.   Thank you for the verse. Indeed, our Lord is here in this moment by moment with us!!!!  Praise you Lord Jesus Christ!!!! 

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This is a great reminder too, thanks - to surrender ourselves many times throughout the day.  I especially try and do that before attempting to do any task, etc.  How quickly we forget, though now I have had a pretty good week, I have forgotten to do this!  Your reminder was very timely, oh Lord, I am so sorry!

 

It is tragic about your pastor and must have come at a huge shock.

 

"Lord comfort gigi in her distress and time of grief and put Your everlasting arms around her and hold her up during this difficult time, and not only gigi, but for all the believers in her congregation, in Jesus name amen."

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

Link to comment

Gigi, have you found any more info regards your pastor's untimely death?

 

FYI: http://kellybroganmd.com/truth-is-we-all-could-be-woody/

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

Link to comment

GrandmaD, thank you for your thoughtful prayer. I have felt Our Lords arms around me and I have also felt His peace. Thank you so much.  

 

GrandmaD,  I did find out some a couple of facts.  The Pastor had been suffering from depression but had just recently taken a leave from his duties. Many situations that I am not sure of were contributing to what seems to me may have been emotional exhaustion.  Various intense issues within the church and his extended family. But what they all were I cannot say. He was recently seeing a physician and a therapist but the most horrible fact that I had found out was that just six weeks prior to his death, he was started on psychiatric drugs. How many and what, I do not know. A friend of mine said, her parents saw the pastor at a school function for the grandchildren a couple of weeks before his passing and they had told my that the pastor looked totally not himself.  Another source from the church who was also involved in ministry at the church began to cry and told me directly that after the pastor started the medication, “ It was just six weeks ago and we saw the light of life leave his eyes.”   The service was last week.  The Pastors brother who has worked in ministry with him for over 30 years said at the service, “I know my brother and I know my brother never ever would have done this had he been in his right mind!”   Also, my girlfriend said many at the service were talking and saying it was the medication.  

 

GrandmaD, I too believe it was that.  The medication.  I have done much research over the past couple of years since I went into WD. I have read and listened to many, Peter Breggin, Charles Whitfield, Irving Kirsch, and  several others and I do believe it was the drugs that put the light out in His eyes!!!!  Tragic!!!  

 

Thank you you for inquiring and for your prayers. Thank you so much!!!! I continue to pray for us all!!!!

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  • 5 months later...

I have a question. When we pray for God to help us, do we need to do something for Him in return? I can’t even think about reading the Bible or attending church. I have so much anxiety and fear regarding spiritual life. I also have a hard time reading due to my cognitive difficulties. I can just barely grab ahold to my thoughts to form prayer my mind is in such a mess. I have a blank mind and severe depersonalization/derealization every day. I would like to know if He answers despite all this.

(Took Respiradone, Strattera, Celexa, Lexapro, and Pristiq prior to these.)

These were all taken over the course of approximately 10 years

10/7/15 - Fluvoxamine Maleate 100 MG

7/26/16 - Amphetamine Salts 10 MG

10/5/16 - Olanzapine-Fluoxetine 6-25 MG

11/1/16 - Olanzapine 2.5 MG AND Fluoxetine HCL 10 MG

11/08/16 - Amantadine 100 MG AND Aripiprazole 5 MG

11/22/16 - Trazodone 50 MG

12/1/16 - Aripiprazole 5 MG *LAST DOSE - COLD-TURKEYED*

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11 hours ago, Pearlsky said:

I have a question. When we pray for God to help us, do we need to do something for Him in return? I can’t even think about reading the Bible or attending church. I have so much anxiety and fear regarding spiritual life. I also have a hard time reading due to my cognitive difficulties. I can just barely grab ahold to my thoughts to form prayer my mind is in such a mess. I have a blank mind and severe depersonalization/derealization every day. I would like to know if He answers despite all this.

Most definitely. God is a loving Father not a merchant. Prayer is a relationship not 'you help me I help you'. Don't worry about what you can do or not right not. He already sees what is in your heart. Just relax and talk to Him, tell Him everything. I assure, He is listening. 

 

"Christ did not do away with suffering. He did not even wish to unveil to us entirely the mystery of suffering. He took suffering upon Himself and this is enough to make you understand all its value. All of you who feel heavily the weight of the cross, you who are poor and abandoned, you who weep, you who are persecuted for justice, you who are ignored, you the unknown victims of suffering, take courage. You are the preferred children of the kingdom of God, the kingdom of hope, happiness and life. You are the brothers of the suffering Christ, and with Him, if you wish, you are saving the world." - Address of Pope Paul VI, to the poor, the sick and the suffering, 8 December 1965

 

I'm sorry if I presumed something. I myself am Catholic and this message is one of the many that helped me and I think it's beautiful, but if it bothers you in any way I want you to know I had the best intentions when suffering this question. Never give up hope! ❤️

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • 1 month later...

I found this video very helpful.  Maybe others might find it helpful too:

Trust in God: the Key to Peace  -- a talk by  Fr. Jacques Philippe.  
(He speaks in French, but then it's translated into English. )

 

200 Zoloft; 10 mg Zyprexa; 4 mg valium as of May 2021;  Valium taper: July 16: 3.5 valium; July 30: 3 mg (paused valium taper); Aug. 23: 2.5 mg
Zyprexa: July 26: 8.75 mg; Aug. 9: 7.5 mg; Aug. 30: 7.1 mg

-------
Dec 1, 2016. 10 mg zyprexa for 1.5 month. Started taper mid-Jan. 2017. Cut 1.25 mg every 2 weeks; smaller cuts 2.5 mg down. Stopped at .6 mg. May 7, 2017: zyprexa free. 
Zoloft: Dec1, 2016, 200 mg. Started taper: Jun12, 2017: 197.5 mg; Jun19,:195 mg; July 2:185mg; July 9,:180 mg; July16,: 175; July 23: 170; July 30: 165; Aug6: 160; Aug13: 155; Aug. 20: 150; Aug.27: 146 mg; Sept3: 145 mg; Sept10:143 mg; Sept17:140 mg....Nov5: 122 mg...Dec3:112.5 mg; Jan14, 2018: 95 mg...Jan28: 90 mg; Feb21:80 mg; Mar11: 75 mg; May2:70 mg; May15: 68 mg; May28: 65 mg; Jun9: 62 mg;Jun25: 60 mg:July22: 55 mg; Aug25: 45 mg. Aug28: 50 mg...Oct 28: 38 mg; Dec.4: 30 mg; Jan8,2019: 25mg; Feb6: 23.5 mg; Apr1:17.5mg; May1:1 mg; May 5: 18;  May 18:15mg; June 16:12.5mg; Sept 10:11 mg; Sept.16:10 mg; Oct. 1: 9mg; Nov. 27: 8mg; Dec.5: 7mg; Jan.1,2020, 6 mg; Feb1: 5 mg; May 1: 2.5 mg; Jn 1: 2 mg; Jy 1: 1.5 mg

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  • 1 month later...

Father God thank you for sending Jesus the ultimate healer to us. I pray for all of the people here that we may get through this and that we help each other the best we can in Jesus name Amen 

Paxil 2007-2010

Celexa 2010-2018 - 20mg down to 10mg now 

Lamotragine 2010- present 225 mg 

Adderall 10mg 2010-2018 

Bupropion 2011

Straterra just for 2 weeks in 2018 

Ecitalopram 2 weeks in 2018 

 

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Amen

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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Question for the religious people here. I believe in God but I don't believe in man made religions. I think we all go to the same place in the afterlife. There aren't 'separate' heavens for different religions that's just non sense in my opinion. 

 

1. If God is so good why does he allow us to suffer? 

2. If God only gives us what we can handle then why do people commit suicide? 

3. If God is truly loving doesn't he all love all people? Gay/lesbian, black white brown yellow purple?

2000 - took accutane for my acne 2001 - On Paxil for about 6 months. Stopped due to side effects mainly severe stomach pain, extreme fatigue, headaches

2006 to 2009 - Went on 150mg of Wellbutrin/Bupropion for about 3 years. Side effects were again stomach pain, fatigue and frequent urination. Didn't feel like it helped my anxiety/depression so I stopped cold turkey. I did not have any major problems after going cold turkey at the time.

2009 to 2012 - Starting taking 100 mg of 5htp and whack load of other supplements(multivitamin, omega 3, protein shake, amino acids, sage, magnesium, vitamin D3, apple cider vinegar pills) every other day. Helped with my anxiety/mood quite a bit.

April 2012 - first signs of sexual dysfunction(pre-cum all the time especially when going to the bathroom to pee and not aroused), but issues were minor. But also had feeling as if I am ready to ejaculate all the time.

June 2012 - major weight loss, was about 15 pounds underweight and severe stomach pain and cramps

Nov 27 2012 - Took last pill of 5htp 50mg. Worst issue severe sexual dysfunction(can't get or sustain an strong erection, loss of feeling, no orgasm, no desire for sexual activity, delayed ejaculation, pre-cum when i'm not aroused, feeling of arousal all the time without thoughts) and frequent urination which is why I stopped taking 5htp and all other supplements completely cold turkey. Experienced the following side effects the past year while still taking the supplement and while getting off;

Feb 2013 - started major symptoms of PGAD Dec 2013 - severe muscle tension. Neck shoulder and headaches and migraines.

-insomnia,hives,eye twitching, restless legs, frequent urination/tingling sensation/arousal(PGAD), upset stomach, cramps, bloating, diarrhea, severe sexual dysfunction(no erection, no feeling, no orgasm, delayed ejaculation, premature ejaculation, constant arousal, morning erection not as strong as it used to be, cold damp genitals) brain zaps, dizziness, nausea, chills, fatigue, anxiety. Lack of natural body sweat especially when active.no emotion,tinnitus
Nov 27, 2018 - 6 years off since I took my last pill of 5HTP, 8 years since taking last pill of Wellbutrin

Present Issues - sexual dysfunction and PGAD(frequent urination, Cold feeling in Genitals, etc) - 6 years

headaches, shoulder and neck tension - 5 years 
vertigo - 1 year

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