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Zoe

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@jeffelmexicano, I'm praying for you. I need a miracle, too, and miracles do happen.

Agree with gigi63 that you should stop tapering and HOLD until you stabilize. 💗🙏🤗

Lexapro: 2002-2006 (dose unknown)

Sertraline: 2006-April 2021 (50 mg/day) with exception of 2 failed discontinuation attempts in previous 5 years.

April - Aug 2021 (25 mg/day [half tablet]). Experienced flu-like symptoms in April. Also experienced insomnia and rage/irritability, which eventually subsided. Sept 2021 - Jan 2022 (12.5 mg/day [quarter tablet]). Feb 1-12, 2022 (~10 mg/day). Experienced depression and new onset acute anxiety. Discovered SA.org and realized I was tapering too fast. Feb 13, 2022, dose increased back to 12.5 mg/day to mitigate symptoms. April 2022 (~10 mg/day; switched to liquid formulation). May 2022 (~9 mg/day). Jun-Jul 2022 (~8 mg/day). Aug 2022 (~7 mg/day). Oct 2022 (~6.5 mg/day). Nov 2022 (~6 mg/day). Dec 2022 (~5 mg/day). Holding dose for at least 2-3 months due to crying spells and poor appetite/weight loss. Began taking Mg and fish oil supplements.  March 17, 2023 - increased dose to 6 mg/day. Feeling better. May 17, 2023 - decreased dose to 5.5 mg/day. July 22, 2023 - still haven't stabilized. Experiencing excruciating and unrelenting suffering.  July 28, 2023 - increased dose to 6/6.5 mg/day

August 2, 2023 - increased dose to 7 mg/day due to persistent dread and panic attacks.

October 2023 - increased dose to 10 mg/day.

January 2024 - Still feel bad despite 10 mg/day dose.

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1 hour ago, jeffelmexicano said:

I need a miracle

 

 @jeffelmexicano Your going to get it! God is working on it! We are all waiting for a miracle, my friend. It's just his timing and none of us know when, but take heart because he has overcome the world. Keep the faith and stay strong, Jeff. Be looking for a window just around the corner. I am praying for you right now ✝️ BIG hugs!

Chlo❤

•Celexa 40mg 1999-2021•COVID August 2021•Celexa stopped working•Zoloft 100mg Sept21'-Oct21'•Zoloft did not work •Lexapro 10mg Oct21'-Nov21'

•Lexapro did not work

•Lexapro 5mg Nov21'-1/17/22 switched to Lexapro liquid form 5mg 1/18/22•4.75mg 1/19•4.5mg 1/25•4.25mg 2/1•4.0mg 2/8

•3.75mg 3/28•3.5mg 5/23

•3.25mg 5/30•3.0mg 6/19

•2.75mg 6/26•2.50mg 7/10•2.45mg 7/18•2.40mg 7/25•2.35mg 8/1•2.33mg 8/26•2.27mg 9/15•2.21mg 9/23•2.16mg 9/30•2.10mg 10/14•2.04mg 10/24•1.99mg 11/18•1.95mg 1/02/23•1.90mg 1/09•1.80mg 1/27•1.75mg 2/21•1.70mg 3/6•1.65mg3/14•1.60mg 4/07•1.52mg 4/30•1.48mg 5/07•1.40mg 6/08•1.36mg 6/17•1.32mg 6/27•1.28mg 7/17•1.20mg 8/18•1.15mg 9/13•1.12mg 10/15•1.06mg 1/20/24•1.02mg 2/16•1mg 2/27•.98mg 3/02•D3•C•

•Magnesium Glycinate

Zinc•Omega3•Probiotic

•Mirtazapine 15mg

I don't know much, but 3 things I do. There is a God. His word is true. Stay close to Him and He will bring you through. Amen🙏

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13 hours ago, gigi63 said:

Jeff, you need to stop tapering.  Very very important to HOLD.  You are going to destabilize your CNS if you continue to taper.  HOLD until you stabilize out.  That can take quite a bit of time.  Stay put!  That is my best advice but prayer will follow!   

im not tapering thanks for the advice . why you think. im tapering

2021 - Seroquel 250mg and lorazepam 4,75 mg 

i was tapering 12,5 mg every 3  weeks and I was fine

start tapering 2022 November or December I can remember now im on 187,5 mg Seroquel on hold 

on January on 187,5mg  of Seroquel I skipped a dose of lorazepam of my 3 intakes and enter into wd. im on hold of both meds

my dose of lorazepam is still on 4,75mg 

03.7.23 Holding both doses 

May 25, 2023 - lorazepam reduced from 1,34 MG to 1,20 MG at night (total lorazepam: 1.25 morning, 1.25 afternoon, 1.20 mg evening = 3.7 mg), Seroquel still at 187.5 mg

June 23 2023 down seroquel to 151 ,8 MG 

July 7 136 mg seroquel -july28 123 MG seroquel 

Hold on all meds 

Down from 1,25 MG to 1,20 MG lorazepam 8 am dose _8.22.23 _ Hold both meds very unstable currently 1,20 MG am 1,25 MG 2 PM 1,20 MG 8 PM 123 MG seroquel 10 pm_ total lorazepam 3,65 MG 

 

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I thought you still were. If not good. My misunderstanding.  
 

if you read Alto and Brassmonkey and others, you will hear very clearly that increasing WD symptoms is destabilization. Need to HOLD to steady out. 
 

please do not make my mistake which was a too rapid taper, pushing through WD symptoms and then a crash/ destabilizing of my CNS after 10 months still tapering. As you would find , this is like a cold turkey and takes years to stabilize.  You are best to go very very slowly, listening to your body and stabilize before the next Small dose change.  Trust me, it will take as long as it will take for your body to adjust. Wether you destabilize or slowly taper but a very slow taper will be a much better ride.  There is no race to get off.  
 

prayers for you🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

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2 hours ago, gigi63 said:

I thought you still were. If not good. My misunderstanding.  
 

if you read Alto and Brassmonkey and others, you will hear very clearly that increasing WD symptoms is destabilization. Need to HOLD to steady out. 
 

please do not make my mistake which was a too rapid taper, pushing through WD symptoms and then a crash/ destabilizing of my CNS after 10 months still tapering. As you would find , this is like a cold turkey and takes years to stabilize.  You are best to go very very slowly, listening to your body and stabilize before the next Small dose change.  Trust me, it will take as long as it will take for your body to adjust. Wether you destabilize or slowly taper but a very slow taper will be a much better ride.  There is no race to get off.  
 

prayers for you🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

thanks for your advices Gigi I apriciete

2021 - Seroquel 250mg and lorazepam 4,75 mg 

i was tapering 12,5 mg every 3  weeks and I was fine

start tapering 2022 November or December I can remember now im on 187,5 mg Seroquel on hold 

on January on 187,5mg  of Seroquel I skipped a dose of lorazepam of my 3 intakes and enter into wd. im on hold of both meds

my dose of lorazepam is still on 4,75mg 

03.7.23 Holding both doses 

May 25, 2023 - lorazepam reduced from 1,34 MG to 1,20 MG at night (total lorazepam: 1.25 morning, 1.25 afternoon, 1.20 mg evening = 3.7 mg), Seroquel still at 187.5 mg

June 23 2023 down seroquel to 151 ,8 MG 

July 7 136 mg seroquel -july28 123 MG seroquel 

Hold on all meds 

Down from 1,25 MG to 1,20 MG lorazepam 8 am dose _8.22.23 _ Hold both meds very unstable currently 1,20 MG am 1,25 MG 2 PM 1,20 MG 8 PM 123 MG seroquel 10 pm_ total lorazepam 3,65 MG 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm being called to have extraordinary faith, 7+ year from a cold turkey and not remotely functional. Fear that I've lost too much to come back from, honestly. How do you all keep faith? I suppose God is keeping me going, bc even when I doubt that anything could be worth this much endless suffering, I keep going somehow. My family keeps me here as well. 

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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Hello sky blue.  I am so sorry for your protracted WD. Being almost seven years myself in one month, I know the fears of never stabilizing, of never healing. However, each day I open my eyes, like right now, I plead for another day of sustaining grace. We are called to trust. Trust that He is Lord in us, over us, and in our circumstance.  We know that if He willed, he could think the thought and heal us instantly. Yet, he has not. Therefore, he is using this. He is using our very protracted WD for his purposes.  We may not understand this. I don’t. He has the plan Skyblue. We must continue to rely on him, encourage one another, and press on. We must continue to hope for our healing, ask for it daily, then surrender to what is. There are more than a few who I have listened to, read about, who have had very protracted WD syndrome.  Many on this site. Alto took 11 years, Giak took over ten years, Marsha to years, aurorax, 10 years, Nicole Lampert PA, was at 11 years and still healing two years ago when the movie medicating normal came out. Claudius from this site, 8 1/2 years So, my friend, we are in good company.  Stay in today, stay close to Jesus. Trust and wait on Him alone. I know your weariness but even more importantly, our Lord does. His all sufficient grace is our supply. As our days, so shall be our strength. These are His promises.  He is not a man that he should lie.  

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Hello. I need prayer for this challenginig time at my work. It's been intense for a few weeks and I couldn't sleep, couldn't focus. May God have mercy upon me and deliver me from my work troubles. I'm not sure how long I can tolerate this.

Sep-Dec '12: Cymbalta (60mg), Zyprexa (1.25 mg), Lexappo (5 mg), Wellbutrin SR (150mg); Dec '12-Apr '13: Lithium Carbonate Tab (150mg), Wellbutrin SR (150mg), Rivotril (1mg); May '13-Feb '15: no record; Mar '15-Aug '21: Cymbalta (60mg), Seroquel XR (50mg), Rivotril Tab (0.5mg); Jul-Sep '21: switched from private to government psychiatrist who changed my drugs to Cymbalta (60mg), Quentiapine (50mg)(IR); however, Quentiapine (50mg)(IR) led me to poor sleep; Oct '21: Due to poor sleep, I requested Cymbalta (60mg), Olanzapine (2.5mg), Rivotril Tab (0.5mg, when needed)

Critial Stage: Nov '21-Jan '22: ceased drugs voluntarily in Nov '21. No major issue an offensive remark triggered my anger. Anger was intense and lasted unusually long. End of Jan-Feb '22: Doctor reinstated me with Cymbalta (30mg) only on 29 Jan '22. However; without Olanzapine (2.5mg), it caused poor sleep; End of Feb-Jun '22: after too much poor sleep, doctor replaced Cymbalta (30 mg) with Remeron (15 mg); Jul '22: attempted to tapper off slowly by 10% of last dose. It resulted in weird dreams and poor sleep; Aug-17 Nov '22: Resumed exactly 15 mg. My sleep restorerd and no more weird dreams; 17 Nov-11 Dec '22: Started to wake up after 2-4 hours of sleep for unknown reason; 12 Dec '22-May 23: 3-6 hous of sleep, partly due to work stress; Jun-Aug '23: 3.5 to 4.5 hours hours of sleep; Sep '23-present: take mirtazapine in morning and it resolves my insomnia.

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I’ll pray with you all too! I am very early in my overall journey into tapering. It’s a terrible thought that I’m only 7 weeks into being medicated on AD and short use of an AAP, and I am likely having a rough few years ahead of me. I trust in god and hope he will ease my suffering along the way, and I know his power and purpose will heal me in time. 

January 3rd: Hydroxyzine off and on 2 weeks

January 5th: 1 time trazodone. 

January 6th 2023: Olanzapine 5mg.
Jan10th 2023: Olanz 2.5 mg.Jan 19th:CT Olan

Jan 22nd 2023: Started Mirtazapine 7.5mg 2 week, 15mg 3 weeks, 22.5 3 weeks.

February 2nd reinstated Olanz 2.5mg. 
February 9th: 1.75mg after side effects. 
February 14th: stopped Olanz

currently only on: 22.5mg Mirtazapine.  

melatonin: 2mg l-theanine: 200mg mag: 300 mg valerian root: 400mg has been usedoff/on

 

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Hi all thought I'd drop in, new to this thread

 

Reading your comments lifted me that bit.. "knowing your brothers  and sisters throughout the world are going through similar sufferings" .. 

 

I want to join this prayer circle ❤️

Escitalopram:10mg 2010 - 2014 switched to - Fluvoxamine:300mg 2014-2021 many attempts at tapering, finally off Olanzapine:5mg June 2020

2.5mg, 2mg, 1.5mg, 1mg, .75mg, .5mg, .25mg, 0mg June 2021 Clomipramine 75mg 2020 Dec 50mg 2021 mar37.5mg 2022 june 25mg 2022 Aug 18mg 2022 oct15mg 2022 nov 12.5mg 2023 Jan

9mg 2023 Feb 7.5mg 2023 mar

 

 

 

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Please pray that I can make decisions easier. I keep double guessing myself. I am praying about which church meeting to go to. I need wisdom. Thank you! 

 

I have been meditating on theses verses....  that Christ is girded with righteousness and truth (Isaiah 11) and that Christ, the Word of God,  will ride a white horse and is called Faithful and True. (Revelation 19) 

Also, remember all who are part of Christ's church are "accepted in the Beloved" (Ephesians 1:6)

YOU and I are accepted in Christ!  It's amazing!  🙂 Keep looking up, brothers and sisters in Christ! He is coming back soon to take us HOME... maybe even before we finish our tapers and withdrawal. I can't wait to see Him face to face! 

 

July 2008. 1st Psychotic episode.      April 2016. 2nd Psychotic episode.        

August 2018.  3rd Psychotic episode. Hospitalized. Fall of 2018. Started Risperadone after the hospital. 

April 2019. Stopped Risperadone and replaced it with Abilify. I forget the dosage. 

1st try tapering off Abilify, (Fall 2020) got down to liquid Abilify (maybe .25mg or lower, I forget exact dosage) and almost went back into psychosis. Reinstated Abilify to stop psychosis. 

2nd try tapering off Abilify (2021)  Failed. But did not go into psychosis this time. Reinstated Abilify at high dose.

3rd try tapering off Abilify (2022) Went into psychosis June 2022. Self harm, hallucinations. Hospitalized after almost 4 years hospital free! 10 mg Abilify (morning) and 15 mg Abilify (night) in June 2022 at hospital.

4th try tapering off Abilify: September 2022. back down to 5mg. Abilify. January 2023: down to 4mg. Abilify.     March 2023: down to 3mg. Abilify    July 2023: went back up to 4 mg Abilify. 

 

 

 

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Isn't it great to be children of God!  Maybe we'll be raptured soon!

 

Hugs and prayers to all 🙏💗🤗

Lexapro: 2002-2006 (dose unknown)

Sertraline: 2006-April 2021 (50 mg/day) with exception of 2 failed discontinuation attempts in previous 5 years.

April - Aug 2021 (25 mg/day [half tablet]). Experienced flu-like symptoms in April. Also experienced insomnia and rage/irritability, which eventually subsided. Sept 2021 - Jan 2022 (12.5 mg/day [quarter tablet]). Feb 1-12, 2022 (~10 mg/day). Experienced depression and new onset acute anxiety. Discovered SA.org and realized I was tapering too fast. Feb 13, 2022, dose increased back to 12.5 mg/day to mitigate symptoms. April 2022 (~10 mg/day; switched to liquid formulation). May 2022 (~9 mg/day). Jun-Jul 2022 (~8 mg/day). Aug 2022 (~7 mg/day). Oct 2022 (~6.5 mg/day). Nov 2022 (~6 mg/day). Dec 2022 (~5 mg/day). Holding dose for at least 2-3 months due to crying spells and poor appetite/weight loss. Began taking Mg and fish oil supplements.  March 17, 2023 - increased dose to 6 mg/day. Feeling better. May 17, 2023 - decreased dose to 5.5 mg/day. July 22, 2023 - still haven't stabilized. Experiencing excruciating and unrelenting suffering.  July 28, 2023 - increased dose to 6/6.5 mg/day

August 2, 2023 - increased dose to 7 mg/day due to persistent dread and panic attacks.

October 2023 - increased dose to 10 mg/day.

January 2024 - Still feel bad despite 10 mg/day dose.

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2 hours ago, LizzieTish said:

Isn't it great to be children of God!  Maybe we'll be raptured soon!

 

Hugs and prayers to all 🙏💗🤗

Yes!! Oh how I wish this were true, but I have many friends, family, and others to help turn to God before that day. Lord, we are praying for the salvation of those that yet believe in you. Holy Spirit guide us to those, speak through us ♥️

Chlo❤

•Celexa 40mg 1999-2021•COVID August 2021•Celexa stopped working•Zoloft 100mg Sept21'-Oct21'•Zoloft did not work •Lexapro 10mg Oct21'-Nov21'

•Lexapro did not work

•Lexapro 5mg Nov21'-1/17/22 switched to Lexapro liquid form 5mg 1/18/22•4.75mg 1/19•4.5mg 1/25•4.25mg 2/1•4.0mg 2/8

•3.75mg 3/28•3.5mg 5/23

•3.25mg 5/30•3.0mg 6/19

•2.75mg 6/26•2.50mg 7/10•2.45mg 7/18•2.40mg 7/25•2.35mg 8/1•2.33mg 8/26•2.27mg 9/15•2.21mg 9/23•2.16mg 9/30•2.10mg 10/14•2.04mg 10/24•1.99mg 11/18•1.95mg 1/02/23•1.90mg 1/09•1.80mg 1/27•1.75mg 2/21•1.70mg 3/6•1.65mg3/14•1.60mg 4/07•1.52mg 4/30•1.48mg 5/07•1.40mg 6/08•1.36mg 6/17•1.32mg 6/27•1.28mg 7/17•1.20mg 8/18•1.15mg 9/13•1.12mg 10/15•1.06mg 1/20/24•1.02mg 2/16•1mg 2/27•.98mg 3/02•D3•C•

•Magnesium Glycinate

Zinc•Omega3•Probiotic

•Mirtazapine 15mg

I don't know much, but 3 things I do. There is a God. His word is true. Stay close to Him and He will bring you through. Amen🙏

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It is a true blessing and gift to be children of the Living God.  We are so blessed we are.  Yes, loved ones. We must continue to pray and lift them up.  The time is near. The times are right for the imminent rapture of the children of God.  I pray everyday, Lord, come for us. Please come.  Yes, our unsaved loved ones need prayer and the word of truth.  They need the Holy Spirit to open the eyes of their heart and ears to understanding.  Soon Lord, soon.  

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Hi everyone.  I would like to ask for prayer over my situation.  I’m having to decide whether to switch drugs or try and stabilize at 2 mg of Lexapro and continue tapering.  I have a young family to consider and I don’t want to emotionally wreck my children or marriage by making the wrong decision.  My husband is trying to be understanding but I know he misses his functional wife.  I’ve been praying for the peace that passes all understanding, but don’t have it yet.  I keep obsessing over all the things that could go wrong.  This can’t be what God’s plan is for my life!  
 

Any advice or prayers welcome.  🙏

Oct. 2012: Started Lexapro 10 mg for situational depression/anxiety   April 2014: Started tapering, to 7.5 mg.   Sept (?) 2014: Tapered to 5 mg.  

June 2015: Dropped to 2.5 mg.   2015: Dropped to 1.25 mg with liquid.  2016: Discontinued Lexapro Cold Turkey after delivery of baby .  Tried Zoloft 50 mg x 2 days.  Became inpatient and was placed on Lexapro 20 mg over course of two weeks.  

March 10: Discharged from hospital on Lexapro 20 mg, Klonopin 0.5 to 1.0 mg as needed for sleep (rarely used).  March 2016: 15 mg Lexapro.  Pdoc tried adding Wellbutrin, felt slightly manic and quit after 3 days.

May 2016; Lexapro 15 mg, Buspar 10 mg, Vistaril for sleep, and Lamictal 25 mg.   June 4 '16: 13.75 mg Lexapro, 7.5 mg Buspar, Lamictal 25 mg.  July '16: No more Vistaril!  

October 16:  Buspar, 3.75 mg.  Lexapro 11.7 mg.  Lamictal 25.  10/23: 11.1 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar, 25 Lamictal  01/17: 10 mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Buspar, CT Lamictal due to rash 

 

6/2022?: 1.9 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar   12/2022: health anxiety/virus, not sleeping well.  Tried melatonin, trazodone, Benadryl 0.25 mg Xanax prn for sleep    1/10: 2mg lex   1/13: 2.2 mg lex   1/22: back to 2 mg Lex   1/25:  7.5 mg Remeron for sleep    2/16: 1.875 Remeron for sleep

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I wish I could give you tapering advice. Have you reached out to the moderators? A week ago I increased my dosage of Zoloft/sertraline from 5 mg to 6 mg (original dose was 50 mg) and I'm feeling much better with minimal anxiety. I had been unable to stabilize after several months. Perhaps you might need to increase your dose slightly and hold for a while?

 

May the Lord give you strength and clarity of mind to find your purpose and walk the path He's laid out for you.

May grace and peace be granted to you from God the Father and the Lord Jesus. 🙏💗🤗

 

Prayer can eradicate anxiety and bring peace of mind ...

Lexapro: 2002-2006 (dose unknown)

Sertraline: 2006-April 2021 (50 mg/day) with exception of 2 failed discontinuation attempts in previous 5 years.

April - Aug 2021 (25 mg/day [half tablet]). Experienced flu-like symptoms in April. Also experienced insomnia and rage/irritability, which eventually subsided. Sept 2021 - Jan 2022 (12.5 mg/day [quarter tablet]). Feb 1-12, 2022 (~10 mg/day). Experienced depression and new onset acute anxiety. Discovered SA.org and realized I was tapering too fast. Feb 13, 2022, dose increased back to 12.5 mg/day to mitigate symptoms. April 2022 (~10 mg/day; switched to liquid formulation). May 2022 (~9 mg/day). Jun-Jul 2022 (~8 mg/day). Aug 2022 (~7 mg/day). Oct 2022 (~6.5 mg/day). Nov 2022 (~6 mg/day). Dec 2022 (~5 mg/day). Holding dose for at least 2-3 months due to crying spells and poor appetite/weight loss. Began taking Mg and fish oil supplements.  March 17, 2023 - increased dose to 6 mg/day. Feeling better. May 17, 2023 - decreased dose to 5.5 mg/day. July 22, 2023 - still haven't stabilized. Experiencing excruciating and unrelenting suffering.  July 28, 2023 - increased dose to 6/6.5 mg/day

August 2, 2023 - increased dose to 7 mg/day due to persistent dread and panic attacks.

October 2023 - increased dose to 10 mg/day.

January 2024 - Still feel bad despite 10 mg/day dose.

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Leahbean, I just read your tapering schedule and the addition of a few more drugs and tapering.  My best advice, STOP the taper.  Your CNS is destabilized.  You are experiencing WD symptoms. One does not continue the taper with these described symptoms.  Unfortunately, no new medication will resolve the withdrawal symptoms of another drug.  So adding drugs is not the answer.  Several moderator people on this site have written extensively about destabilizing from a too rapid WD.  You can consider updose a little bit and then, you must wait it out.  You cannot rush your system into stability. You must be kind and gentle to yourself.  I am speaking from experience, my own on this.  STOP the taper and just allow stability to come.  It won’t be in your time frame. It will be in your body’s time frame.  Again, adding medications is not likely to correct the WD from your lexapro taper. Your dose cuts appear to have been way too large.  25- 50 percent, then a cold turkey.  You must seriously read the information on this site regarding tapering, WD symptoms, stabilization after too quick a taper and cold turkey.  Another great resource is Inner Compass WD site where all of this addressed as well.  No, I think our Lord God is very sorrowful for our suffering as a result of these pharmaceutical drugs. Yes, He has a plan for your life and it is good because He is good.  Often however, we must bear the consequences of decisions we make. Even asking our bodies to ingest these drugs.  However, he will never leave you nor forsake you. He will give you the strength for each day and every moment. Prayers for your healing by His grace. Time, it takes a great deal of time. Acceptance, patience and perseverance all by His grace. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi all, I ask for prayer again. I thank you for those who have the strength to pray despite our conditions. Pray I'll be able to sleep well as usual and my work problems would disappear (although unrealistic request). I fortunately got a job which I expect it's less demanding and can wait for my 2.5-months notice period. However, my company is not doing well and colleagues are generally unhappy (more work, less staff due to downsizing...). I'm in no condition to work in such environment but somehow I survived with the little sleep I have and my anxiety. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

Sep-Dec '12: Cymbalta (60mg), Zyprexa (1.25 mg), Lexappo (5 mg), Wellbutrin SR (150mg); Dec '12-Apr '13: Lithium Carbonate Tab (150mg), Wellbutrin SR (150mg), Rivotril (1mg); May '13-Feb '15: no record; Mar '15-Aug '21: Cymbalta (60mg), Seroquel XR (50mg), Rivotril Tab (0.5mg); Jul-Sep '21: switched from private to government psychiatrist who changed my drugs to Cymbalta (60mg), Quentiapine (50mg)(IR); however, Quentiapine (50mg)(IR) led me to poor sleep; Oct '21: Due to poor sleep, I requested Cymbalta (60mg), Olanzapine (2.5mg), Rivotril Tab (0.5mg, when needed)

Critial Stage: Nov '21-Jan '22: ceased drugs voluntarily in Nov '21. No major issue an offensive remark triggered my anger. Anger was intense and lasted unusually long. End of Jan-Feb '22: Doctor reinstated me with Cymbalta (30mg) only on 29 Jan '22. However; without Olanzapine (2.5mg), it caused poor sleep; End of Feb-Jun '22: after too much poor sleep, doctor replaced Cymbalta (30 mg) with Remeron (15 mg); Jul '22: attempted to tapper off slowly by 10% of last dose. It resulted in weird dreams and poor sleep; Aug-17 Nov '22: Resumed exactly 15 mg. My sleep restorerd and no more weird dreams; 17 Nov-11 Dec '22: Started to wake up after 2-4 hours of sleep for unknown reason; 12 Dec '22-May 23: 3-6 hous of sleep, partly due to work stress; Jun-Aug '23: 3.5 to 4.5 hours hours of sleep; Sep '23-present: take mirtazapine in morning and it resolves my insomnia.

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Hi Mark. I will pray for you.  I know very well this is a very very difficult process and time. You are right to say that you cannot do this in your own strength.  We are minute by minute dependent upon our Lord Jesus Christ.  It is by His Spirit and power that you will walk upon this, your very high place of affliction.  Know this, He will beat you up. He knows your every detail and need. He will strengthen you as you rely upon Him.  So, go down low, very very low, and just ask him to help you, moment by moment for as long as we must walk this. He is faithful and true. He cannot fail you. He is our Great Lord Shepherd.  True!!!  I am praying for you🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

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You've got my prayers as well, Mark ✝️ God will sustain you in everything you do. He has brought us this far and will continue to. I find myself on my knees daily crying out to him and we must continue to talk, cry, praise, and think of him minute by minute. I have always said that the stronger the pain, the more the healing. He is working things out for our good and his glory. He is with us 💜 Hold on and Be still, our window is just around the corner. 

Chlo❤

•Celexa 40mg 1999-2021•COVID August 2021•Celexa stopped working•Zoloft 100mg Sept21'-Oct21'•Zoloft did not work •Lexapro 10mg Oct21'-Nov21'

•Lexapro did not work

•Lexapro 5mg Nov21'-1/17/22 switched to Lexapro liquid form 5mg 1/18/22•4.75mg 1/19•4.5mg 1/25•4.25mg 2/1•4.0mg 2/8

•3.75mg 3/28•3.5mg 5/23

•3.25mg 5/30•3.0mg 6/19

•2.75mg 6/26•2.50mg 7/10•2.45mg 7/18•2.40mg 7/25•2.35mg 8/1•2.33mg 8/26•2.27mg 9/15•2.21mg 9/23•2.16mg 9/30•2.10mg 10/14•2.04mg 10/24•1.99mg 11/18•1.95mg 1/02/23•1.90mg 1/09•1.80mg 1/27•1.75mg 2/21•1.70mg 3/6•1.65mg3/14•1.60mg 4/07•1.52mg 4/30•1.48mg 5/07•1.40mg 6/08•1.36mg 6/17•1.32mg 6/27•1.28mg 7/17•1.20mg 8/18•1.15mg 9/13•1.12mg 10/15•1.06mg 1/20/24•1.02mg 2/16•1mg 2/27•.98mg 3/02•D3•C•

•Magnesium Glycinate

Zinc•Omega3•Probiotic

•Mirtazapine 15mg

I don't know much, but 3 things I do. There is a God. His word is true. Stay close to Him and He will bring you through. Amen🙏

Link to comment

 

Call on Him without Ceasing
 
Christ Jesus, may my life, hidden in yours, be a continual prayer before you. I breathe you in, calling on you without ceasing, and I awaken to life in the exchange of the breath of your presence meeting me with your response. May our fellowship remain uninterrupted, like a continual conversation that ebbs and flows but never reaches an end.

I will not stop calling on you. Continually, I turn my attention toward you. May I be quick to offer the gratitude of my heart, seeing where you are already working in my life. There is no trial or circumstance that I am alone in. You are with me. You are my holy hope, my unshakeable foundation, and you are my close confidant. You respond to my cries with your very presence. You are my constant comfort and my courage. As I pour out my heart to you, I leave space to receive from the overflow of your abundant love that meets me in every moment. Thank you for always being so near, Lord. You are the strength of my life!

Chlo❤

•Celexa 40mg 1999-2021•COVID August 2021•Celexa stopped working•Zoloft 100mg Sept21'-Oct21'•Zoloft did not work •Lexapro 10mg Oct21'-Nov21'

•Lexapro did not work

•Lexapro 5mg Nov21'-1/17/22 switched to Lexapro liquid form 5mg 1/18/22•4.75mg 1/19•4.5mg 1/25•4.25mg 2/1•4.0mg 2/8

•3.75mg 3/28•3.5mg 5/23

•3.25mg 5/30•3.0mg 6/19

•2.75mg 6/26•2.50mg 7/10•2.45mg 7/18•2.40mg 7/25•2.35mg 8/1•2.33mg 8/26•2.27mg 9/15•2.21mg 9/23•2.16mg 9/30•2.10mg 10/14•2.04mg 10/24•1.99mg 11/18•1.95mg 1/02/23•1.90mg 1/09•1.80mg 1/27•1.75mg 2/21•1.70mg 3/6•1.65mg3/14•1.60mg 4/07•1.52mg 4/30•1.48mg 5/07•1.40mg 6/08•1.36mg 6/17•1.32mg 6/27•1.28mg 7/17•1.20mg 8/18•1.15mg 9/13•1.12mg 10/15•1.06mg 1/20/24•1.02mg 2/16•1mg 2/27•.98mg 3/02•D3•C•

•Magnesium Glycinate

Zinc•Omega3•Probiotic

•Mirtazapine 15mg

I don't know much, but 3 things I do. There is a God. His word is true. Stay close to Him and He will bring you through. Amen🙏

Link to comment

@Chlo, that is lovely. Thanks for sharing. 

 

Happy Easter, everyone! ✝️

Lexapro: 2002-2006 (dose unknown)

Sertraline: 2006-April 2021 (50 mg/day) with exception of 2 failed discontinuation attempts in previous 5 years.

April - Aug 2021 (25 mg/day [half tablet]). Experienced flu-like symptoms in April. Also experienced insomnia and rage/irritability, which eventually subsided. Sept 2021 - Jan 2022 (12.5 mg/day [quarter tablet]). Feb 1-12, 2022 (~10 mg/day). Experienced depression and new onset acute anxiety. Discovered SA.org and realized I was tapering too fast. Feb 13, 2022, dose increased back to 12.5 mg/day to mitigate symptoms. April 2022 (~10 mg/day; switched to liquid formulation). May 2022 (~9 mg/day). Jun-Jul 2022 (~8 mg/day). Aug 2022 (~7 mg/day). Oct 2022 (~6.5 mg/day). Nov 2022 (~6 mg/day). Dec 2022 (~5 mg/day). Holding dose for at least 2-3 months due to crying spells and poor appetite/weight loss. Began taking Mg and fish oil supplements.  March 17, 2023 - increased dose to 6 mg/day. Feeling better. May 17, 2023 - decreased dose to 5.5 mg/day. July 22, 2023 - still haven't stabilized. Experiencing excruciating and unrelenting suffering.  July 28, 2023 - increased dose to 6/6.5 mg/day

August 2, 2023 - increased dose to 7 mg/day due to persistent dread and panic attacks.

October 2023 - increased dose to 10 mg/day.

January 2024 - Still feel bad despite 10 mg/day dose.

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32 minutes ago, LizzieTish said:

@Chlo, that is lovely. Thanks for sharing. 

 

Happy Easter, everyone! ✝️

Happy Easter to you all, as well 💜✝️🤍 

Chlo❤

•Celexa 40mg 1999-2021•COVID August 2021•Celexa stopped working•Zoloft 100mg Sept21'-Oct21'•Zoloft did not work •Lexapro 10mg Oct21'-Nov21'

•Lexapro did not work

•Lexapro 5mg Nov21'-1/17/22 switched to Lexapro liquid form 5mg 1/18/22•4.75mg 1/19•4.5mg 1/25•4.25mg 2/1•4.0mg 2/8

•3.75mg 3/28•3.5mg 5/23

•3.25mg 5/30•3.0mg 6/19

•2.75mg 6/26•2.50mg 7/10•2.45mg 7/18•2.40mg 7/25•2.35mg 8/1•2.33mg 8/26•2.27mg 9/15•2.21mg 9/23•2.16mg 9/30•2.10mg 10/14•2.04mg 10/24•1.99mg 11/18•1.95mg 1/02/23•1.90mg 1/09•1.80mg 1/27•1.75mg 2/21•1.70mg 3/6•1.65mg3/14•1.60mg 4/07•1.52mg 4/30•1.48mg 5/07•1.40mg 6/08•1.36mg 6/17•1.32mg 6/27•1.28mg 7/17•1.20mg 8/18•1.15mg 9/13•1.12mg 10/15•1.06mg 1/20/24•1.02mg 2/16•1mg 2/27•.98mg 3/02•D3•C•

•Magnesium Glycinate

Zinc•Omega3•Probiotic

•Mirtazapine 15mg

I don't know much, but 3 things I do. There is a God. His word is true. Stay close to Him and He will bring you through. Amen🙏

Link to comment

Mark, I'm praying for you. I hope your condition and work situation improve soon. 🤗✝️💗

 

Pin on Faith & Prayer

Lexapro: 2002-2006 (dose unknown)

Sertraline: 2006-April 2021 (50 mg/day) with exception of 2 failed discontinuation attempts in previous 5 years.

April - Aug 2021 (25 mg/day [half tablet]). Experienced flu-like symptoms in April. Also experienced insomnia and rage/irritability, which eventually subsided. Sept 2021 - Jan 2022 (12.5 mg/day [quarter tablet]). Feb 1-12, 2022 (~10 mg/day). Experienced depression and new onset acute anxiety. Discovered SA.org and realized I was tapering too fast. Feb 13, 2022, dose increased back to 12.5 mg/day to mitigate symptoms. April 2022 (~10 mg/day; switched to liquid formulation). May 2022 (~9 mg/day). Jun-Jul 2022 (~8 mg/day). Aug 2022 (~7 mg/day). Oct 2022 (~6.5 mg/day). Nov 2022 (~6 mg/day). Dec 2022 (~5 mg/day). Holding dose for at least 2-3 months due to crying spells and poor appetite/weight loss. Began taking Mg and fish oil supplements.  March 17, 2023 - increased dose to 6 mg/day. Feeling better. May 17, 2023 - decreased dose to 5.5 mg/day. July 22, 2023 - still haven't stabilized. Experiencing excruciating and unrelenting suffering.  July 28, 2023 - increased dose to 6/6.5 mg/day

August 2, 2023 - increased dose to 7 mg/day due to persistent dread and panic attacks.

October 2023 - increased dose to 10 mg/day.

January 2024 - Still feel bad despite 10 mg/day dose.

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My prayers for Mark x

ADs for over 50 yrs most of that time on Parstelin an MAOI. Also ECT and anti psychotic drugs in the 1970s. In recent years have taken Citalopram for a short time then Venlafaxine + ER 75mg then 37.5. + Mirtazapine. Tapered down from that over many months. Suggested by another group to bridge to Fluoxetine as supposedly withdrawal affects less than with Venlafaxine.

26/06/23. Off Venlafaxine but still on 20mg Fluoxetine. 

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Thank you, God, for the brothers and sisters in Christ all over the world who have the gift to support one another in prayer, even to physically distant brothers and sisters. I pray You can teach me to be like them.

 

Teach me to enjoy my weekend and appreciate Easter rather than worrying too much about work. I trust work issues happen regularly according to Your plan that is good although I do not understand.

Sep-Dec '12: Cymbalta (60mg), Zyprexa (1.25 mg), Lexappo (5 mg), Wellbutrin SR (150mg); Dec '12-Apr '13: Lithium Carbonate Tab (150mg), Wellbutrin SR (150mg), Rivotril (1mg); May '13-Feb '15: no record; Mar '15-Aug '21: Cymbalta (60mg), Seroquel XR (50mg), Rivotril Tab (0.5mg); Jul-Sep '21: switched from private to government psychiatrist who changed my drugs to Cymbalta (60mg), Quentiapine (50mg)(IR); however, Quentiapine (50mg)(IR) led me to poor sleep; Oct '21: Due to poor sleep, I requested Cymbalta (60mg), Olanzapine (2.5mg), Rivotril Tab (0.5mg, when needed)

Critial Stage: Nov '21-Jan '22: ceased drugs voluntarily in Nov '21. No major issue an offensive remark triggered my anger. Anger was intense and lasted unusually long. End of Jan-Feb '22: Doctor reinstated me with Cymbalta (30mg) only on 29 Jan '22. However; without Olanzapine (2.5mg), it caused poor sleep; End of Feb-Jun '22: after too much poor sleep, doctor replaced Cymbalta (30 mg) with Remeron (15 mg); Jul '22: attempted to tapper off slowly by 10% of last dose. It resulted in weird dreams and poor sleep; Aug-17 Nov '22: Resumed exactly 15 mg. My sleep restorerd and no more weird dreams; 17 Nov-11 Dec '22: Started to wake up after 2-4 hours of sleep for unknown reason; 12 Dec '22-May 23: 3-6 hous of sleep, partly due to work stress; Jun-Aug '23: 3.5 to 4.5 hours hours of sleep; Sep '23-present: take mirtazapine in morning and it resolves my insomnia.

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Praying for your work issues to resolve, @Mark840.  

July 2008. 1st Psychotic episode.      April 2016. 2nd Psychotic episode.        

August 2018.  3rd Psychotic episode. Hospitalized. Fall of 2018. Started Risperadone after the hospital. 

April 2019. Stopped Risperadone and replaced it with Abilify. I forget the dosage. 

1st try tapering off Abilify, (Fall 2020) got down to liquid Abilify (maybe .25mg or lower, I forget exact dosage) and almost went back into psychosis. Reinstated Abilify to stop psychosis. 

2nd try tapering off Abilify (2021)  Failed. But did not go into psychosis this time. Reinstated Abilify at high dose.

3rd try tapering off Abilify (2022) Went into psychosis June 2022. Self harm, hallucinations. Hospitalized after almost 4 years hospital free! 10 mg Abilify (morning) and 15 mg Abilify (night) in June 2022 at hospital.

4th try tapering off Abilify: September 2022. back down to 5mg. Abilify. January 2023: down to 4mg. Abilify.     March 2023: down to 3mg. Abilify    July 2023: went back up to 4 mg Abilify. 

 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I found this beautiful, morning prayer video that I'd like to share with fellow Christians✝️. It includes prayers for peace and freedom from anxiety and depression. I struggle with prayer, so I pray along as I listen to it. 

 

Begin Your Day With This Prayer! ᴴᴰ - YouTube

 

Blesssings to all,

Elizabeth

Lexapro: 2002-2006 (dose unknown)

Sertraline: 2006-April 2021 (50 mg/day) with exception of 2 failed discontinuation attempts in previous 5 years.

April - Aug 2021 (25 mg/day [half tablet]). Experienced flu-like symptoms in April. Also experienced insomnia and rage/irritability, which eventually subsided. Sept 2021 - Jan 2022 (12.5 mg/day [quarter tablet]). Feb 1-12, 2022 (~10 mg/day). Experienced depression and new onset acute anxiety. Discovered SA.org and realized I was tapering too fast. Feb 13, 2022, dose increased back to 12.5 mg/day to mitigate symptoms. April 2022 (~10 mg/day; switched to liquid formulation). May 2022 (~9 mg/day). Jun-Jul 2022 (~8 mg/day). Aug 2022 (~7 mg/day). Oct 2022 (~6.5 mg/day). Nov 2022 (~6 mg/day). Dec 2022 (~5 mg/day). Holding dose for at least 2-3 months due to crying spells and poor appetite/weight loss. Began taking Mg and fish oil supplements.  March 17, 2023 - increased dose to 6 mg/day. Feeling better. May 17, 2023 - decreased dose to 5.5 mg/day. July 22, 2023 - still haven't stabilized. Experiencing excruciating and unrelenting suffering.  July 28, 2023 - increased dose to 6/6.5 mg/day

August 2, 2023 - increased dose to 7 mg/day due to persistent dread and panic attacks.

October 2023 - increased dose to 10 mg/day.

January 2024 - Still feel bad despite 10 mg/day dose.

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...

Hello fellow SA friends. I’m in need of prayer. After nearly three years of gentle tapering, my CNS feels likes it’s suddenly crashed. Over the last several months I overdid it, neglected self care, got into a toxic relationship, then ended the toxic relationship, and now two weeks later I’m suffering. It’s mainly physical symptoms that are plaguing me right now. I’m supposed to return to full-time, in-person work tomorrow (after two weeks off and after years of hybrid work) and I’m terrified. I need God to give me healing and wisdom and peace. Thank you all. 

2013-2015: paroxetine, with brief switch to sertraline, and brief combo with bupropion  • 2015: got off all antidepressant meds for approx 9-12 months, felt great 2015: fluoxetine, bad side effects, quit after two weeks 2015: escitalopram 15mg/day Summer 2019: attempted fast taper off escitalopram, reinstated to 15mg/day dose after six weeks • October 16, 2020: begin taper off escitalopram at rate of 1mg per 1 week (sometimes per 2 weeks) using 1mg/ml liquid from pharmacy • Jan 22, 2021: down to 3mg and holding due to worsening of WD symptoms • Feb 4, 2021: updose to 4mg holding • Feb 2021: tapering at 10% every 28 days Jul 2021: begin using microtaper of 2.5% per week Feb 2022: down to 1.43mg and experiencing worsening WD symptoms, updose to 1.45mg and holding • Mar 2022: resume microtaper schedule, lowest dose: 1.34 mg • Mar 2022: extended hold at 1.36 mg •Jul 2022: resume 10% taper • Apr 2-Jun 21, 2023 extended hold at 0.5mg • Jun 9, 2023 massive life stress situation triggered WD wave, Jun 15-16 took 5mg dose, Jun 17-21 back to 0.5mg dose • Jun 22 small updose to 0.58mg • Jul 1-2 tried 2.5mg, suffered adverse affects (anxiety, can’t eat, palpitations, electric jolts in chest) • Jul 1, 2023 - Jan 3, 2024 long hold at 1mg, slowly stabilizing after crash • Jan 4 resume taper  0.98mg Jan 11 0.95mg 

 

Supplements: vitamin D3 with K2, vitamin C, iron, magnesium glycinate, EPA/DHA essentials fish oil, melatonin(as needed)

Other prescription meds: levothyroxine 75 mcg (for hypothyroidism), lorazepam 0.25 to 0.5mg (as needed, which is almost never), zofran 2 to 4mg (as needed) 

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Dearest Catmama,

 

I said a prayer of healing for you, that God would bring you wisdom and restore you. I prayed you’d be surrounded by His awesome love and healing, and that He would dispel any anxiety, grief, and physical symptoms you're experiencing. May you be uplifted by His grace and feel yourself enfolded in the peace of His loving embrace💗🤗.

 

Jeremiah 17:14: Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for You are the one I praise. 

Lexapro: 2002-2006 (dose unknown)

Sertraline: 2006-April 2021 (50 mg/day) with exception of 2 failed discontinuation attempts in previous 5 years.

April - Aug 2021 (25 mg/day [half tablet]). Experienced flu-like symptoms in April. Also experienced insomnia and rage/irritability, which eventually subsided. Sept 2021 - Jan 2022 (12.5 mg/day [quarter tablet]). Feb 1-12, 2022 (~10 mg/day). Experienced depression and new onset acute anxiety. Discovered SA.org and realized I was tapering too fast. Feb 13, 2022, dose increased back to 12.5 mg/day to mitigate symptoms. April 2022 (~10 mg/day; switched to liquid formulation). May 2022 (~9 mg/day). Jun-Jul 2022 (~8 mg/day). Aug 2022 (~7 mg/day). Oct 2022 (~6.5 mg/day). Nov 2022 (~6 mg/day). Dec 2022 (~5 mg/day). Holding dose for at least 2-3 months due to crying spells and poor appetite/weight loss. Began taking Mg and fish oil supplements.  March 17, 2023 - increased dose to 6 mg/day. Feeling better. May 17, 2023 - decreased dose to 5.5 mg/day. July 22, 2023 - still haven't stabilized. Experiencing excruciating and unrelenting suffering.  July 28, 2023 - increased dose to 6/6.5 mg/day

August 2, 2023 - increased dose to 7 mg/day due to persistent dread and panic attacks.

October 2023 - increased dose to 10 mg/day.

January 2024 - Still feel bad despite 10 mg/day dose.

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  • Mentor
12 hours ago, catmama said:

Hello fellow SA friends. I’m in need of prayer. After nearly three years of gentle tapering, my CNS feels likes it’s suddenly crashed. Over the last several months I overdid it, neglected self care, got into a toxic relationship, then ended the toxic relationship, and now two weeks later I’m suffering. It’s mainly physical symptoms that are plaguing me right now. I’m supposed to return to full-time, in-person work tomorrow (after two weeks off and after years of hybrid work) and I’m terrified. I need God to give me healing and wisdom and peace. Thank you all. 

Hi Catmama

One thing I've always believed is that God gives us what we need right at the moment we need it--not a second before and not a second late.  He will give you what you need to get through your work day and flourish.  He is stronger than your anxious mind.  Prayers to you!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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  • 1 month later...

Please pray God would give me strength to manage my anxiety and depression. They're disturbing lately. I've little control.

Sep-Dec '12: Cymbalta (60mg), Zyprexa (1.25 mg), Lexappo (5 mg), Wellbutrin SR (150mg); Dec '12-Apr '13: Lithium Carbonate Tab (150mg), Wellbutrin SR (150mg), Rivotril (1mg); May '13-Feb '15: no record; Mar '15-Aug '21: Cymbalta (60mg), Seroquel XR (50mg), Rivotril Tab (0.5mg); Jul-Sep '21: switched from private to government psychiatrist who changed my drugs to Cymbalta (60mg), Quentiapine (50mg)(IR); however, Quentiapine (50mg)(IR) led me to poor sleep; Oct '21: Due to poor sleep, I requested Cymbalta (60mg), Olanzapine (2.5mg), Rivotril Tab (0.5mg, when needed)

Critial Stage: Nov '21-Jan '22: ceased drugs voluntarily in Nov '21. No major issue an offensive remark triggered my anger. Anger was intense and lasted unusually long. End of Jan-Feb '22: Doctor reinstated me with Cymbalta (30mg) only on 29 Jan '22. However; without Olanzapine (2.5mg), it caused poor sleep; End of Feb-Jun '22: after too much poor sleep, doctor replaced Cymbalta (30 mg) with Remeron (15 mg); Jul '22: attempted to tapper off slowly by 10% of last dose. It resulted in weird dreams and poor sleep; Aug-17 Nov '22: Resumed exactly 15 mg. My sleep restorerd and no more weird dreams; 17 Nov-11 Dec '22: Started to wake up after 2-4 hours of sleep for unknown reason; 12 Dec '22-May 23: 3-6 hous of sleep, partly due to work stress; Jun-Aug '23: 3.5 to 4.5 hours hours of sleep; Sep '23-present: take mirtazapine in morning and it resolves my insomnia.

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Mark, we are praying for you.  Know this, the neuro anxiety and neuro depression are all to be expected.  Acceptance is what has worked best for me.  Our Lord God is faithful.  He will make you to stand. He will sustain you.  We do not walk this difficult journey in our own strength.  It is His grace, acknowledged or not, His grace that gets us through moment by moment.  So, call upon Him, and press into Him close.  Pray for acceptance and patience.  

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Thanks for your encouragement. I shall reach Him. Sometimes I wish I'm a child and don't have responsibilities in this condition. I'm in no condition to live independently and give to society (work to earn a living, church activities, etc). Everyday I got to put a mask (confidence at work, smile with friends) when I'm feeling depressed and anxious.

Sep-Dec '12: Cymbalta (60mg), Zyprexa (1.25 mg), Lexappo (5 mg), Wellbutrin SR (150mg); Dec '12-Apr '13: Lithium Carbonate Tab (150mg), Wellbutrin SR (150mg), Rivotril (1mg); May '13-Feb '15: no record; Mar '15-Aug '21: Cymbalta (60mg), Seroquel XR (50mg), Rivotril Tab (0.5mg); Jul-Sep '21: switched from private to government psychiatrist who changed my drugs to Cymbalta (60mg), Quentiapine (50mg)(IR); however, Quentiapine (50mg)(IR) led me to poor sleep; Oct '21: Due to poor sleep, I requested Cymbalta (60mg), Olanzapine (2.5mg), Rivotril Tab (0.5mg, when needed)

Critial Stage: Nov '21-Jan '22: ceased drugs voluntarily in Nov '21. No major issue an offensive remark triggered my anger. Anger was intense and lasted unusually long. End of Jan-Feb '22: Doctor reinstated me with Cymbalta (30mg) only on 29 Jan '22. However; without Olanzapine (2.5mg), it caused poor sleep; End of Feb-Jun '22: after too much poor sleep, doctor replaced Cymbalta (30 mg) with Remeron (15 mg); Jul '22: attempted to tapper off slowly by 10% of last dose. It resulted in weird dreams and poor sleep; Aug-17 Nov '22: Resumed exactly 15 mg. My sleep restorerd and no more weird dreams; 17 Nov-11 Dec '22: Started to wake up after 2-4 hours of sleep for unknown reason; 12 Dec '22-May 23: 3-6 hous of sleep, partly due to work stress; Jun-Aug '23: 3.5 to 4.5 hours hours of sleep; Sep '23-present: take mirtazapine in morning and it resolves my insomnia.

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