Jump to content

Jose 15 years is enough


Recommended Posts

Hello everyone.

 

It's nearly 8 months since I came off venlafaxine.

Slowly improving, going through the windows and waves pattern of recovery.

I went through a horrible period around months 4-5, now it's better. I can sleep relatively well now (6 hours) and I do have good days now and then.

 

However, mornings are still bad. Sometimes really bad. The anxiety and despair kick off shortly after waking up and they generally stay until noon, to then fade away or sometimes disappear suddenly. Sometimes it's like two different realities, difficult to understand.

I've read about the cortisol response in the forums.

 

I wanted to ask your opinions/recommendations on how to deal with the bad mornings. Is it better to take some supplements in the morning rather than before going to bed? Any activities / techniques that help you ease the morning anxiety?

 

Thank you so much

1999-2004 citalopram 10 to 20mg with 2-3 withdrawal attempts.
2004 fluvoxamine for 4-5 months aprox. Changed to venlafaxine because of the headaches and dizziness.
2005-March 2014 venlafaxine usually starting on 150mg and coming down to 75 or 37.5. Several withdrawal attempts.
In March 2014 I stopped taking 37.5mg of venlafaxine without tapering.

Went through 5 months of confusion, anxiety, insomnia and desperation. From then I am very slowly recovering, on windows and waves.

Symptoms: muscle stiffness and aches, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, memory loss, inability to concentrate or think straight, difficulty to speak, difficulty to read (improving).

Taking omega3, magnesium, calcium, vitamin E and probiotics.

Link to post
  • Replies 91
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Jose

    48

  • Altostrata

    6

  • alex

    5

  • bubble

    5

Top Posters In This Topic

Hi Jose. 

 

I have the same problem with mornings. And then it gets better as the day goes on. You said it perfectly, "it's like two different realities". My doctor says this is a symptom of major depressive disorder. But I never had these kinds of horrible anxiety/depression in the morning before taking antidepressants. This has been one of the most difficult things for me to endure since withdrawal. When this happens to me it's like since the moment I feel a touch of consciousness, a huge weight falls over me and I feel hopeless, jittery, tearful, unable to start the day. 

 

I really don't know what tips to give you except my understanding and compassion. 

 

In my case since it's EXTREMELY bad, often with akathisia and suicidal feelings, I take 0.5 klonopin. 

L-Tryptophan also helped for a couple of months but then my brain zaps got worse. 

I try to exercise almost every morning even when I think it's impossible to move, and I almost always feel better afterwards. 

 

I think these bad anxiety mornings will get better with time, once we continue healing. I hope so! I wish you happy mornings. Let me know if you found something to make you feel better during the mornings. As I would really could use some extra tips. 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

 Hi Jose, I moved your post here, to keep it with your progress notes.

Current: Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Jose--I'm delighted to hear that you're seeing ongoing improvement.

 

The mornings will get better too.

 

The pattern of bad mornings and good evenings is very typical in withdrawal and recovery. We attribute it to the daily fluctuation in cortisol levels. I hate it too! You and Cdav describe it perfectly. I get the same way, for a short time, after making cuts in my meds. 

 

I think there are a couple of threads on the topic with various suggestions. You could try searching using Google. Enter "survivingantidepressants cortisol"--

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1CASMAE_enUS594US595&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=survivingantidepressants%20cortisol

 

yes, it looks like we have a lot of discussion of it here.

 

Cdav, your doctor doesn't know what he or she is talking about. Symptom of MDD, indeed. Of course, the side effects of drug use and withdrawal always get blamed on the "illness." That way you can be $old even more drugs. 

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                   1

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

Link to post

Hi Jose. 

 

I have the same problem with mornings. And then it gets better as the day goes on. You said it perfectly, "it's like two different realities". My doctor says this is a symptom of major depressive disorder. But I never had these kinds of horrible anxiety/depression in the morning before taking antidepressants. This has been one of the most difficult things for me to endure since withdrawal. When this happens to me it's like since the moment I feel a touch of consciousness, a huge weight falls over me and I feel hopeless, jittery, tearful, unable to start the day. 

 

I really don't know what tips to give you except my understanding and compassion. 

 

In my case since it's EXTREMELY bad, often with akathisia and suicidal feelings, I take 0.5 klonopin. 

L-Tryptophan also helped for a couple of months but then my brain zaps got worse. 

I try to exercise almost every morning even when I think it's impossible to move, and I almost always feel better afterwards. 

 

I think these bad anxiety mornings will get better with time, once we continue healing. I hope so! I wish you happy mornings. Let me know if you found something to make you feel better during the mornings. As I would really could use some extra tips. 

Thanks Cdav, will let you know.

Best wishes to you too.

1999-2004 citalopram 10 to 20mg with 2-3 withdrawal attempts.
2004 fluvoxamine for 4-5 months aprox. Changed to venlafaxine because of the headaches and dizziness.
2005-March 2014 venlafaxine usually starting on 150mg and coming down to 75 or 37.5. Several withdrawal attempts.
In March 2014 I stopped taking 37.5mg of venlafaxine without tapering.

Went through 5 months of confusion, anxiety, insomnia and desperation. From then I am very slowly recovering, on windows and waves.

Symptoms: muscle stiffness and aches, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, memory loss, inability to concentrate or think straight, difficulty to speak, difficulty to read (improving).

Taking omega3, magnesium, calcium, vitamin E and probiotics.

Link to post

Hi Jose--I'm delighted to hear that you're seeing ongoing improvement.

 

The mornings will get better too.

 

The pattern of bad mornings and good evenings is very typical in withdrawal and recovery. We attribute it to the daily fluctuation in cortisol levels. I hate it too! You and Cdav describe it perfectly. I get the same way, for a short time, after making cuts in my meds. 

 

I think there are a couple of threads on the topic with various suggestions. You could try searching using Google. Enter "survivingantidepressants cortisol"--

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1CASMAE_enUS594US595&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=survivingantidepressants%20cortisol

 

yes, it looks like we have a lot of discussion of it here.

 

Cdav, your doctor doesn't know what he or she is talking about. Symptom of MDD, indeed. Of course, the side effects of drug use and withdrawal always get blamed on the "illness." That way you can be $old even more drugs. 

Thanks Rhi, I will have a look at these.

Best, Jose

1999-2004 citalopram 10 to 20mg with 2-3 withdrawal attempts.
2004 fluvoxamine for 4-5 months aprox. Changed to venlafaxine because of the headaches and dizziness.
2005-March 2014 venlafaxine usually starting on 150mg and coming down to 75 or 37.5. Several withdrawal attempts.
In March 2014 I stopped taking 37.5mg of venlafaxine without tapering.

Went through 5 months of confusion, anxiety, insomnia and desperation. From then I am very slowly recovering, on windows and waves.

Symptoms: muscle stiffness and aches, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, memory loss, inability to concentrate or think straight, difficulty to speak, difficulty to read (improving).

Taking omega3, magnesium, calcium, vitamin E and probiotics.

Link to post

 Hi Jose, I moved your post here, to keep it with your progress notes.

Ok Bubble, thank you. Jose

1999-2004 citalopram 10 to 20mg with 2-3 withdrawal attempts.
2004 fluvoxamine for 4-5 months aprox. Changed to venlafaxine because of the headaches and dizziness.
2005-March 2014 venlafaxine usually starting on 150mg and coming down to 75 or 37.5. Several withdrawal attempts.
In March 2014 I stopped taking 37.5mg of venlafaxine without tapering.

Went through 5 months of confusion, anxiety, insomnia and desperation. From then I am very slowly recovering, on windows and waves.

Symptoms: muscle stiffness and aches, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, memory loss, inability to concentrate or think straight, difficulty to speak, difficulty to read (improving).

Taking omega3, magnesium, calcium, vitamin E and probiotics.

Link to post
  • 2 months later...

Hello everyone.

I've been 10 months off any medication after I stopped taking 37.5mg venlafaxine, no tapering.

After 6 weeks I crashed and have been suffering from protracted withdrawal. The first 5 months were particularly bad, it's gradually getting better. This struggle is helping me build resilience in many ways, but as many of you know sometimes desperation takes over and it is difficult to bear.

I've been on the windows and waves journey, on a hard wave right now.

 

Depending on how things progress in the next months I might consider coming back on medication and taper from there.

My question is, if I do it, is it best to go back to venlafaxine or should I better go with a longer life kind of drug?

 

Ultimately, would appreciate if you could share your experiences about going back to the meds after a long period of withdrawal. Does it make sense at all? Frankly speaking, I'm at a point where I wonder whether I made the right choice. Proud of what I have achieved so far, but sometimes doubtful of the long term perspective.

Thank you all.

1999-2004 citalopram 10 to 20mg with 2-3 withdrawal attempts.
2004 fluvoxamine for 4-5 months aprox. Changed to venlafaxine because of the headaches and dizziness.
2005-March 2014 venlafaxine usually starting on 150mg and coming down to 75 or 37.5. Several withdrawal attempts.
In March 2014 I stopped taking 37.5mg of venlafaxine without tapering.

Went through 5 months of confusion, anxiety, insomnia and desperation. From then I am very slowly recovering, on windows and waves.

Symptoms: muscle stiffness and aches, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, memory loss, inability to concentrate or think straight, difficulty to speak, difficulty to read (improving).

Taking omega3, magnesium, calcium, vitamin E and probiotics.

Link to post
  • Administrator

Jose, I moved your post here, to update your Intro topic.

 

At 10 months off, no one can predict how taking any antidepressant will affect you.

 

It's a good sign you've seen some improvement. It can take many months or years to recover from cold turkey.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post

Jose, I moved your post here, to update your Intro topic.

 

At 10 months off, no one can predict how taking any antidepressant will affect you.

 

It's a good sign you've seen some improvement. It can take many months or years to recover from cold turkey.

Thank you Altostrata.

Anxiety is not as bad as it was, the mornings are getting better, and I'm often able to sleep 6 hours solid, although I generally wake up feeling tired.

Exercise, meditation and breathing do help me very much, but sometimes the balance doesn't last very long, and as soon as I encounter a frustrating or stressful situation I go into 'tunnel' mode, where obsessive thoughts and desperation take over. The perspective is totally lost then.

One paradoxical thing about the windows and waves pattern is that when the last wave hits it can trigger the most stressful thoughts and emotions, evolving around questions like "is this ever going to end?", "how, after all this time and the progress made, can my situation get so bad again?". Sometimes it's impossible to acknowledge or recognize any improvement at all, even when the facts are there to prove there is much improvement.

I'm working on accepting the possibility of irreversible damage and keep working from there. Then it probably won't be so bad. Worrying and catastrophizing only makes things worse, so psychological work is a remarkable task here, with the complication that you're trying to build psychological resilience using a system that is unstable. Anyway this is something all of us here know.

I hope you and the peers in this group are improving, best wishes from my heart.

Jose

1999-2004 citalopram 10 to 20mg with 2-3 withdrawal attempts.
2004 fluvoxamine for 4-5 months aprox. Changed to venlafaxine because of the headaches and dizziness.
2005-March 2014 venlafaxine usually starting on 150mg and coming down to 75 or 37.5. Several withdrawal attempts.
In March 2014 I stopped taking 37.5mg of venlafaxine without tapering.

Went through 5 months of confusion, anxiety, insomnia and desperation. From then I am very slowly recovering, on windows and waves.

Symptoms: muscle stiffness and aches, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, memory loss, inability to concentrate or think straight, difficulty to speak, difficulty to read (improving).

Taking omega3, magnesium, calcium, vitamin E and probiotics.

Link to post

Hola Josè.

Going back on medication is very personal.My advice is don't do it.You can make things a lot worse.

10 months off is not much;as a matter of fact, it can be the worst moment.

I almost died at 9-10 months off.But I survived, and I'm glad I did, because now, 2 and a half years off, I am seeing big improvement.

The fact that you are able to sleep is a blessing in this process.

 

Hang in there, it WILL get better.Don't poison your brain again.

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

Link to post

Hola Josè.

Going back on medication is very personal.My advice is don't do it.You can make things a lot worse.

10 months off is not much;as a matter of fact, it can be the worst moment.

I almost died at 9-10 months off.But I survived, and I'm glad I did, because now, 2 and a half years off, I am seeing big improvement.

The fact that you are able to sleep is a blessing in this process.

 

Hang in there, it WILL get better.Don't poison your brain again.

Hola Alex!

Thanks for your encouraging and supportive words.

You're right, it's not such a long time. In fact, when I decided to quit venlafaxine I told myself it would be a long process, one year, two years, possibly longer.

One of the fundamental reasons why I became depressed and went into antidepressants many years ago is a low tolerance for frustration, or in other words, my tendency to catastrophize about problems and inconvenience, giving up easily. So it is a necessary learning process to build up new perspectives and resilience, but you know, when fear and desperation take over there is no end in sight.

Things do improve. I'm also learning to recognize that it is not so much about changing myself and evolving onto something else, but to truly accept who I am and move on from there, with compassion and love. This feeling alone takes so much anxiety off.

We keep walking then.

Very happy to read you are feeling well.

Thanks again.

Jose

1999-2004 citalopram 10 to 20mg with 2-3 withdrawal attempts.
2004 fluvoxamine for 4-5 months aprox. Changed to venlafaxine because of the headaches and dizziness.
2005-March 2014 venlafaxine usually starting on 150mg and coming down to 75 or 37.5. Several withdrawal attempts.
In March 2014 I stopped taking 37.5mg of venlafaxine without tapering.

Went through 5 months of confusion, anxiety, insomnia and desperation. From then I am very slowly recovering, on windows and waves.

Symptoms: muscle stiffness and aches, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, memory loss, inability to concentrate or think straight, difficulty to speak, difficulty to read (improving).

Taking omega3, magnesium, calcium, vitamin E and probiotics.

Link to post
  • 4 weeks later...
  • Administrator

Jose, how are you doing?

 

Please do post here from time to time. Reading your Intro topic can be a good way to see how far you've come.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post

Jose, how are you doing?

 

Please do post here from time to time. Reading your Intro topic can be a good way to see how far you've come.

Alto, thank you for asking.

I'm approaching my first anniversary since I stopped the venlafaxine.

In a nutshell, I am progressing slowly. Anxiety is not as bad as it was and I can sleep for 5 or 6 hours more days than not.

The background noise of anxiety and depression is there most the time though.

I do all sorts of things to help my recovery: yoga three or four times a week, exercise also every other day, supplements (omega3, magnesium, vitamins E, D3 and C, probiotics), meditation, mindfulness, breathing exercises, spiritual readings, you name it. I am also on psychotherapy (emotional behavioral type) and it is helping control obsessive negative thoughts, I see myself much more capable of breaking the downward spiral.

I still have many physical or mental symptoms though, and these make me feel really bad at times, particularly the slow thinking, or inability to think sometimes, the blockages, the memory problems (I keep forgetting all sorts of things even though I repeat them many times), difficult concentration, numbness... The body aches many times, flu-like symptoms like many friends report here. Lack of coordination/stability and wobbly legs.

But I must say, these symptoms come and go. I am on a 2-3 month-long wave where these issues have shown up regularly, but the last few days I have been improving.

Overall, I'm better than I was a few months ago. Very tough and challenging journey, though.

I have come to terms with the fact that it will still take many months to see a clear improvement, so I start from there.

I truly appreciate the compassion and the courage of all of you here. Keep walking.

Will keep posting, I really hope my experience can help others like those of others are helping me.

Jose

1999-2004 citalopram 10 to 20mg with 2-3 withdrawal attempts.
2004 fluvoxamine for 4-5 months aprox. Changed to venlafaxine because of the headaches and dizziness.
2005-March 2014 venlafaxine usually starting on 150mg and coming down to 75 or 37.5. Several withdrawal attempts.
In March 2014 I stopped taking 37.5mg of venlafaxine without tapering.

Went through 5 months of confusion, anxiety, insomnia and desperation. From then I am very slowly recovering, on windows and waves.

Symptoms: muscle stiffness and aches, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, memory loss, inability to concentrate or think straight, difficulty to speak, difficulty to read (improving).

Taking omega3, magnesium, calcium, vitamin E and probiotics.

Link to post
  • 2 months later...

Hello dear friends.

This is an update, some 14 months since I stopped taking venlafaxine.

After my last post I went through a beautiful window of around 3 weeks. It felt like heaven after what I had been through.

I'm back on a wave since then, some stressful situations have contributed to this but I am managing well overall. Physical symptoms are gradually improving, I think mainly because of exercise.

As for the mind, slowly improving, learning to accept this pain so I it becomes easier to manage. A lot of psychological work to build the right blocks while my system recovers.

I am working particularly hard on coming off my obsession about depression and medication withdrawal, because I realized I get stuck in these ideas and make it worse. So trying to focus on little things that do me good, the little pleasures, nudging myself into self acceptance and compassion, and building loooots of patience.

I hope you guys are finding and living the things that help you get better.

Love,
Jose

1999-2004 citalopram 10 to 20mg with 2-3 withdrawal attempts.
2004 fluvoxamine for 4-5 months aprox. Changed to venlafaxine because of the headaches and dizziness.
2005-March 2014 venlafaxine usually starting on 150mg and coming down to 75 or 37.5. Several withdrawal attempts.
In March 2014 I stopped taking 37.5mg of venlafaxine without tapering.

Went through 5 months of confusion, anxiety, insomnia and desperation. From then I am very slowly recovering, on windows and waves.

Symptoms: muscle stiffness and aches, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, memory loss, inability to concentrate or think straight, difficulty to speak, difficulty to read (improving).

Taking omega3, magnesium, calcium, vitamin E and probiotics.

Link to post

Hi Jose

 

Your post was lovely to read - so glad you are doing well and coping with the waves as they come along.

 

It really helps me to read how others are finding ways to cope with the WD symptoms. You are clearly doing all you can possibly do to help yourself get through this.

 

I wish you well on the rest of your journey.

 

Best Wishes

 

Flowers xxx

15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM.  MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct  temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.  JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month.  28.5 mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed.  13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize  1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at  50 mgs at night.  Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and  Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. 

XANAX  Jan 27  - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover.   Feb 14 2019  Updosed Xanax by .0625  Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily.  Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. 

Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM  20mg  taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE  .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm.  XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight.  SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm.   7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm.  2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19  .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg  x 2. 23.1.20  .23 mg x 2.  20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20  .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2.  18.6.20 .11mg  x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2.  2.12.20 .06 mg x 2.  8.1.21 .05 mg x 2.  4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2.  7.4.21  .02 mg x 2.  9.5.21 .01 mg x 2.  21.6.21 .01 mg x 1.  11.8.21 ZERO!

 

Link to post

Great job Josè.

You'll get there.

 

Un fuerte abrazo.

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

Link to post

Hi Jose

 

Your post was lovely to read - so glad you are doing well and coping with the waves as they come along.

 

It really helps me to read how others are finding ways to cope with the WD symptoms. You are clearly doing all you can possibly do to help yourself get through this.

 

I wish you well on the rest of your journey.

 

Best Wishes

 

Flowers xxx

Thanks Flowers.

I wish you the best, too. This is a very difficult struggle that requires help from many dimensions, and knowing about progress of others in this forum is one of them.

All the best to you.

Jose

1999-2004 citalopram 10 to 20mg with 2-3 withdrawal attempts.
2004 fluvoxamine for 4-5 months aprox. Changed to venlafaxine because of the headaches and dizziness.
2005-March 2014 venlafaxine usually starting on 150mg and coming down to 75 or 37.5. Several withdrawal attempts.
In March 2014 I stopped taking 37.5mg of venlafaxine without tapering.

Went through 5 months of confusion, anxiety, insomnia and desperation. From then I am very slowly recovering, on windows and waves.

Symptoms: muscle stiffness and aches, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, memory loss, inability to concentrate or think straight, difficulty to speak, difficulty to read (improving).

Taking omega3, magnesium, calcium, vitamin E and probiotics.

Link to post

Great job Josè.

You'll get there.

 

Un fuerte abrazo.

Gracias Alex. I hope you are well.

Un abrazo fuerte.

1999-2004 citalopram 10 to 20mg with 2-3 withdrawal attempts.
2004 fluvoxamine for 4-5 months aprox. Changed to venlafaxine because of the headaches and dizziness.
2005-March 2014 venlafaxine usually starting on 150mg and coming down to 75 or 37.5. Several withdrawal attempts.
In March 2014 I stopped taking 37.5mg of venlafaxine without tapering.

Went through 5 months of confusion, anxiety, insomnia and desperation. From then I am very slowly recovering, on windows and waves.

Symptoms: muscle stiffness and aches, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, memory loss, inability to concentrate or think straight, difficulty to speak, difficulty to read (improving).

Taking omega3, magnesium, calcium, vitamin E and probiotics.

Link to post
  • 5 years later...
cathnz
On 5/20/2015 at 9:55 PM, Jose said:

Hello dear friends.

This is an update, some 14 months since I stopped taking venlafaxine.

After my last post I went through a beautiful window of around 3 weeks. It felt like heaven after what I had been through.

I'm back on a wave since then, some stressful situations have contributed to this but I am managing well overall. Physical symptoms are gradually improving, I think mainly because of exercise.

As for the mind, slowly improving, learning to accept this pain so I it becomes easier to manage. A lot of psychological work to build the right blocks while my system recovers.

I am working particularly hard on coming off my obsession about depression and medication withdrawal, because I realized I get stuck in these ideas and make it worse. So trying to focus on little things that do me good, the little pleasures, nudging myself into self acceptance and compassion, and building loooots of patience.

I hope you guys are finding and living the things that help you get better.

Love,
Jose

@Josehow are you doing these days? Your post above reminds me so much of how I feel 😭

 

Aug 2004 - Dec 2006: Aropax ( 20mg - 30mg). Aug 2007: Fluoxetine (for 3 weeks).

Sept 07 - July 12: Lexapro ( 10mg - 20mg). Pooped out July 12. Titrated down off Lexapro over 3 weeks and switched to Paroxetine (with Xanax to cover switch for 2 weeks).

Aug 2012 - Aug 2019: Paroxetine (titrated up to 20mg in first few weeks,, dose reduced to 15mg . for 7 years until it 'pooped out'.

4th Aug 2019 - Reduced dose of paroxetine to 10mg (for 1 day) - under phychiatrists directions. Last dose of paroxetine.

5th Aug 2019 - Switch to 15mg Mirtazapine.

5th Aug - 15th Aug 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine plus intermitent use of Lorazapm (0.25- 0.5 . Also used 12.5mg Quetiapine for 3 nights for sleep.

23rd Aug 2019 - Ended up in crisis team. Mirtazapine increased to 30mg. Diazapam 10mg twice daily.

30th Aug 2019 - Mirtazapine 30mg + Diazapam reduced to 7.5mg twice daily

6th Sept 2019 - Mirtazapine 30mg + Diazapam reduced to 5mg twice daily

13th Sept 2019 - Mirtazapine increased to 45mg. Diazapam increased back up to 10mg twice daily.

20th Sept - 29th Sept 2019: Mirtazapine 45mg. Diazapam being reduced from 10mg down to 0mg this week (in 2mg increments couple of days).

30th Sept - Thursday 3rd Oct 2019: Mirtazapine 45mg. WORST ANXIETY EVER. Akathisia. Couldn't stay still. Suicidal idealization.

Friday 4th October - present: Reduced from 45mg to 30mg (straight drop to alleviate akathisia - reduction definitely helped alot but still not gone completely)

 

 

, Vit B6, Curcumin, Magnesium (no adverse effects from adding these supplements - have helped akathisia somewhat).

* Everything done from 23rd August under care of outpatient crisis team management.

 

Untitled document.docx

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy