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traumatized80

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 11-30-2013, 03:00 PM  #1

traumatized80

 

Join Date: Nov 2013

Location: PA

Posts: 13

Kindling or adverse reaction to SSRIS

Here is my long but very terrible story:

I would like to make you aware of a very serious and life threatening condition that I unfairly had to endure for close to 15 months. The condition is SSRI induced SEVERE Akathesia. It is my impression that you may not be familiar with this condition as it pertains to SSRI use or “kindling.” I come to this conclusion because I was reinstated on Lexapro (generic) in October of 2012 for situational depression and mild anxiety. 

Subsequently, i had this unspeakable and tourtuous reaction. It was then stated that this reaction was increased anxiety and depression and the medication was changed to Lexapro – name brand. One day turned into the next and was filled with 15-20 panic attacks each day and the inability to sleep, drive, listen to music or stand without my heart rate raising to well over 150. Believ ing that Pychicians have a oath to do no harm just as I do as a RN I continued to think that I had severe anxiety and no severe depression. I chose to go to another facility in hopes that they would be better able to help me with this . I explained that I was not sleeping, which was a huge change considering prior to the medication I loved to sleep! I explained that I would pace and pace and felt this inner turmoil and restlessness that I had never experienced in my life. This doctor prescribed Zoloft to me. I explained my concerns and was reassured that is was not the SSRI's because I had been able to take them in the last (5 years prior) and that Ativan would be added. It was explained to me that 75% of people had anxiety when starting SSRI's and that it would subside with the right one. 

With hesitation I took the medication. After the first dose I was unable to sit still, my onlymotion was a rocking motion over and over until my hips and calf muscles hurt. I then would burst in to tears. I stayed awake for four days. Began to be scared of shadows and movements of anyone in the house. I could no longer watch TV or suft the web. My heart beat out of control often at over 180 bpm when standing up. I was dizzy and had a burning over my body that I can only think the internal gates of Hell must feel like. I started be become disossiative and suicidal. I have a sense of impending doom I could never explain to you. I took the Ativan in hopes it was exactly what the ordering phycian had stated, “ anxiety.” I believed at this point I was completely insane. I begged for my husband to take me to an inpatient facility in which he did. I was admitted for 4 days, My cries were not heard once a gain and I was treated as if I just had a huge case of anxiety and panic with now what was diagnosed as a “major depressive episode.” 

I explained at this point that I thought it was the medication but, was quickly told that they were prescribing Paxil and Klonipin and if I did not take it I would be “ 302'd” Considering I was/am a RN and did not want that I decided to take the medication. My heart rate rapidly increased. To over 150 standing. I felt agitationed and scared for my life. I knew I had to get out of there. I was able to convince her to release me. I went straight to another facility thinking they would see this monster for what it was. I spent 7 days there. I did not sleep, I hardly ate, I was dissociative, I was now seeing numbers floating around and began to think I was schizophranic. I had no answers. The doctor there spent less than 5 minutes with me each day. He prescribed Neurotin to me on the 6th day. My hands and feet swelled up and when that happened he said he was sorry he couldnt help me and discharged me the next day. I was then medically hospitalized for my heart rate instability. One arrythmia after another with no clear explaination as to why. I would not sleep unless knocked out my IV Ativan. Once it started to wear off I was freaking out again, legs left like they were on fire and my whole body had to move.

My brain felt like it was melting and I was paranoid and scared of EVERYTHING. I was oriented the whole time. Which in a sense makes it that much more tragic. I was put on a small dose of a beta blocker. They could not give me a high dose because my BP would drop. I was discharged and told to see counseling. I did this. Two weeks later I had not slept, ate, or showered. At this point I was terrified to shower for fear that my heart would exploide. I layed on my parents couch and would fall asleep for 5 minutes at a time to be awoke but an adrenalin rush like no other. M y whole body hurt and I cried out al lday everyday. I wanted to die. I truly felt like I was in a state of fight of flight for months and noone could help me from my hell. I finally realized it was not going away on its one and went to yet ANOTHER facility with DIFFERENT doctors to seek help. Although the staff was empathetic they stated they had never seen such a thing. The doctor there insisted that it was a panic disorder and yet again prescribed me Lexapro and this time added 2 mg Xanax daily. The xanax seemed to help a little and I slept finally after months and months of pure hell. I spend 7 days there and was discharged unstable. Two weeks later I was back to the very same place in worse shape than ever. I had lost 65 pounds by this point. I had no energy to fight anymore. It was like I was on the worst acid trip of my life. My head was melting, I was buring all over like fire ants were attacking me. I will never forget the doctors exact words “ this is why you have to be careful with Xanax. People gain tolerance way to quick.” I gained a tolerance after 2 weeks???? I think not. He refused to change any medication and sent me home with the Lexapro (generic) and Xanax 3 mg a day. 

I realized as a nurse that this was not going to work. It was barely taking the edge off of the torment and as soon as it started to wear off I was pacing and crying hysterically. I weaned myself off of both of those medications approximately 2 months later. Unable to bare one more day. At this point I thought if the medication was out of my system that it would go away. WRONG!! I went through a protracted withdrawl so severe that I could hardly live life. Depression was SEVERE worse than I had ever felt in my life, I had allll the previous symptoms listed. However, the depersonalization and dissocitive issues got worse. I cried hysterically for hours. My heart was out of control. I could not even climb stairs. Desperate to find out what was happening to be I went to my “New” PCP in hopes that he would understand. WRONG AGAIN. He put me back on Paxil and ativan. I continued in this hell for 2 months. I wanted to truly end my life and told everyone who came in contact with me. I was forced to quit my job that I loved and didnt even know who I was anymore. I could not remember the smart, funny, intelligent person I was prior to ingesting the first pill. I thought to myself often “You are never coming out of this.” I admitted myself to another facility. I must say that I had never had acute issues as such prior to this year. I was never hospialized nor did I have anything more than a few days of depression here or there with what I would discribe as anxiety. This facility gained a more thorough evaluation and it was determinted that because of my previous history of PTSD contributed to being drugged at a night club that I was scared of the medication and it was not in fact a reaction to the meds. I went a long with the desperate for some relief and to live my life again. I was placed on liquid lexapro . I actually felt a slight bit better for the first few days. Then all hell broke loose. Same as above except this time I started to self harm. I began biting myself so hard I was bruising myself. I had night terrors so vivid when I woke up I did not know if I was in the dream or if I was awake. I paced and paced and called friends hysterically. I didnt eat, I didnt sleep. I was scared of my own house. I decided to go back to the same facility that prescribed me that medciation in hopes that the same doctor would see my deteriation and help. She seemed rather annoyed that I had someone drive me an hour to be admitted to that facility rather than go to one closer. 

I thought I was doing the right thing. After all in nursing we strive for continuem of care. She at this time told me that I was too severe to be in a short term treatment center and that she and I needed to look at more long term placement for myself. I was shocked but at this point agreed because I had lost my life, I had nothing to life for and the ( what I now know as Akathesia) physical symptoms were so severe I wanted to unzip my skin and run like hell. I was anxiety, paranoid, terrified, and over all not well. At this hospital I found out that I was pregnant. To my suprise since even sex was too over stimulating for me and my husband and I had hardly been able to engage in this for over 5 months. They say it only takes one time. I am a true testament of that. At this point I am not only terrified for my own life but for my unborn child as well. The doctor at this facility was just like the rest and did not want to listen to me about the physical symptoms. Night sweats were becoming severe. One of the nurses took pitty on me and took my orthostatic Bps. It was indicated that my heart rate was 75 sitting and 140 standing. HMMM Big jump dont you think? The doctor stated that this had been going on for quit some time and she found it hard to believe it was the drug inducing this. I tried to explain that this was no an issue prior to administration of any ssris. I as once again blown off and recommended for a 30-60 day treatment facility in Maryland. I went to this facility. While there I could not sit in a room of people. I had a hard to with physical sensations that I was told were “ parts” I was diagnosed with DID and PTSD. Although the psychiatrist was very nice. I do not think she wanted to look pasted the pTSD to see that this was not all “ body flash backs” I was indeed going through repeated exposure to Akathesia. 

I did not take medication while at this facility for over 30 days except for prenatal vitamins, an occassional zofran, ativan and they gave me a zyprexa one time. I began to slowly stabilize. Although it came in windows. I was so traumatized at this point that I believe it indeed had retriggered my PTSD. It was determied at this facility that I had Bipolar NOS with mixed states and rapid cycling. This is something I had NO signs of prior to this hell. Noone would look at the PHYSICAL symptoms and the end result causing more psychological symptoms. I was discharged and have been home for over a monthA few months ago I would not have been able to sit here and write this letter. It has now been recommended that I stay away from any psychotropic drugs t this point and I feel that this is appropriate. 


The reason for this letter is to make you aware of this condition and its effects of someones life. Listed below are the signs and symptoms of this condition. It took me going to a new therapist and new doctor to get a real diagnosis and regain my trust in myself and to not be worried that I was ggoing to have another episode because I was told I was bipolar. I must make you aware that I was NEVER suicidal in my life. During this time and as I still recover I could only pray for death as it had to be better than what I was going through. My brain felt like it had chemically melted into my neck and I was no longer in control of my cns.

 

PLEASE NOTE:  This Intro was posted twice.  I merged the two and hid the second post, so member responses may seem a bit out of order. ~Jemima

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Oh my, I'm so sorry you had to endure such a nightmare. It sounds like you have

 

found some relief since getting off the meds. Thank God for that. I can't believe

 

that not a single doctor would listen to you. That is extremely scary. I have

 

suffered from akathisia during withdrawal, but I can't even imagine the severity

 

of what you suffered. I'm so happy that you are on the road to recovery. I'm

 

actually amazed that you are recovering so quickly after what you have been through.

 

You deserve to have a speedy recovery. I wish you the very best.

2006-Cymbalta 60mg for lyme disease2009-Quit Cymbalta c/tFeb. 2010-Reinstated 60mg CymMar.2010 to May.2012 tapered Cym to 36mgMay 2012-Crossed over to 30mg CelexaMay 2012-Oct.2013 Tapered Celexa down to 2.5mgOct.2013-Switched to 30 beads CymbaltaDec.4,2013-Stopped Cymbalta at 17 beads<p>Akathisia hit at 6 wks off and continuesNow taking melatonin when needed for sleep.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Welcome to SA Traumatised80. I have moved your post to the introductions forum,

this is your thread about you and your experience and you can add to it whenever you like.

 

We are so glad you are here telling your story. Sadly it is one we have heard many times before,

far too many people are suffering terribly and needlessly from these drugs.   I am so glad that

you are feeling better and away from those clinics and doctors.  

 

How did you get off the drugs? Did you taper or cold turkey?  You will be giving hope to others

who are going through what you have been through,  seeing that you are recovering will be a huge 

comfort for them.  

 

You have been incredibly strong to get through it and I hope you continue to get better, so you and 

your baby come through this as well as you can be.

Thank you for joining us.    

 

 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Welcome to the forum, traumatized80.  Once you've had time to explore SurvivingAntidepressants.org I think you'll find we're all too well aware of the terrible side effects of SSRI treatment.  I'm sorry that you had to suffer through all of that and sorry that there are many here who will understand.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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OMG it makes me mad and sad at the same time when I read about this happening to people.  You are not on anything now and feeling somewhat better?

 

You are a survivor.  Strong person to have endured all of that. 

 

Glad you told us your story and that you are on the mend.

 

Nikki

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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I am not on anything now. However I am not doing too great. I still have major anxiety..burning skin... restless legs... depression .... sensitivity to sound and any stress... Some derealization although this is getting somewhat better. .. insomnia... panic... and terrible fear that I am going to live this way for the rest of my life. The bipolar diagnosis was never a thought till the bad reactions and the doctors jumping to that conclusion. ..I still get brain shivers.. and this loud electric buzzing in my head... that wakes me at night. .. my heart still races when I stand up but not 180 anymore.. more like 115... am I nutts?

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I did go to a neurologist who is supposed to be highly specialized. Well he just looked at me with his eyes crossed. He ordered a eeg. And said I might have a sensory disturbance... I'm lost.. sad.. and see no way out at this point.. it's been a long fight

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How are you now?

Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds

Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg.

Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg

May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg

Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45

Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg

Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg

Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89

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You're not nuts at all! I can't believe all you've been through. And a bad drug reaction does not constitute bipolar disorder at all, nor does prolonged withdrawal syndrome. How far out are you from your last dose of medication? Are you still pregnant?

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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  • Administrator

Welcome, traumatized.

 

I am very sorry about all you've gone through. Yes, we all had a lot more respect and trust for doctors once.

 

I am not on anything now. However I am not doing too great. I still have major anxiety..burning skin... restless legs... depression .... sensitivity to sound and any stress... Some derealization although this is getting somewhat better. .. insomnia... panic... and terrible fear that I am going to live this way for the rest of my life. The bipolar diagnosis was never a thought till the bad reactions and the doctors jumping to that conclusion. ..I still get brain shivers.. and this loud electric buzzing in my head... that wakes me at night. .. my heart still races when I stand up but not 180 anymore.. more like 115... am I nutts?

This sounds like classic prolonged post-withdrawal syndrome. See The Windows and Waves Pattern of Recovery http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-recovery/

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I add my welcome, also I am so sorry for all that you have been through. You have found a wonderful spot though for answers & healing & support. Sending hugs & prayers.

 

Jan. 1994 Pamelor

2000 switched to Zoloft 

2011 Zoloft pooped out- Dr. switched me directly to Lexapro15mg -had a horrible 6mths

2013 upped Lexapro to 20 mgs-pooped out

June 2013 Dr. added 150 Wellbutrin to Lexapro.

July 2013 Switched back to Zoloft 100mgs.Was still taking Wellbutrin. Lots of anxiety from the Wellbutrin

July 2013 Started to wean Wellbutrin- off by Sept.

Oct. 2013 added 400 mgs of Neurotin to the Zoloft

Jan 2014 Tapered off of the Zoloft and onto Prozac 30 mgs. Also still taking 400 mgs Neurotin

Feb 2014 Reduced Prozac to 13 mgs. Still taking 400 mgs Neurotin

Aug. 2014 Prozac 13 mgs. Finished with Neurotin. .7 Risperadol

 

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Your story is so similar to mine it's ridiculous. I am now pregnant too. It will be 2 years in June since my adverse reaction. How are you coping being pregnant and when are you due? My adverse reaction was to Lexa pro and I had every symptom you have had. It brought back some very traumatic memories. I was also hospitalized for 6 weeks. Sorry I can't write much it's hard for me to concentrate but I would love to chat with you.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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Hi.. I am 6 months out from the last time they tried Lexapro again and I am one month out from the Dr insisting I try rremeron for 3 days at a small dose which ended in total hell once more. I am still pregnant at 7.5 months...30 weeks with a little boy. It has been very difficult to go through pregnancy like this. I still have pretty bad symptoms... like an acid trip some days. They check my little guy often because of what I'm going through.. so far he is perfect. It's hard to swallow the many diagnosis these doctors have given me. Part of me wants to accept them and the logical part says.. no way Angela! ! My new psychiatrist says it's some sort of autonomic dysfunction but has no answers on how to help myself! I'm scared to death to take even a magnesium pill at this point. I take my multivit.oy because my little guy needs it. I've been traumatized. Even the drug commercials on TV trigger panic for me now.. pretty bad since I am. Nurse..well I was till I had to quit in Sept because of all this terror. Thank you all for your support. Until I read this site I thought I was bat shot crazy and had no reason to live. I have learned in the medical field that mental health can only be healed with medication. .. so it's a hard PILL to swallow when those very mess cause brain damage. I look forward to hearing from all of you!

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Count yourself lucky that your psychiatrist recognizes what you're going through as autonomic dysfunction and not some variety of mental illness!  He or she is way ahead of the pack.  At this point, no one anywhere knows how to get people through an adverse reaction to antidepressants or even protracted withdrawal. Unfortunately, most doctors just prescribe more and more drugs.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi and welcome,

 

I'm sorry you have been through such a horrific experience and I'm relieved you have made your way here so that you can finally get the support you need.  I've experienced a lot of the symptoms you have described, there really are no words to explain just how bad it can be at times.

 

I'm in protracted withdrawal from coming off Lexapro too fast, but I have also had adverse reactions to medications I've been prescribed for ongoing symptoms.

 

Count yourself lucky that your psychiatrist recognizes what you're going through as autonomic dysfunction and not some variety of mental illness!

 

Ditto what Jemima said, the good ones are rare.

 

We don't have any quick fixes or cures here, but you will find a lot of understanding and support when you need it.  Post as often as you like, this site can be a source of comfort when the waves of symptoms get strong.

 

Petu.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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I know this is a long ways from where you live, but there is an integrative psychiatrist in NYC. Her specialty is perinatal psychiatry and she would 100% get what you are going through. BUT I believe she is quite expensive, and she does not have a magic wand. She also sells access to a couple of lectures on integrative psychiatry from her website, kellybroganmd.com. But if you have a doc who identifies this as autonomic dysfunction, you are far ahead of the pack.

 

I'm so glad your baby is doing well. A source of joy in all this...but I can understand your concern as well.

 

What kind of nursing were you doing? I am doing pediatric private duty...thankfully even in my worst moments of disillusionment t I can understand why these kids who have been through so much need traditional care.

 

I think you're going to be just fine in the end.

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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Im very sorry for all you have been threw! I can relate to alot of what you have been threw. You have come to the right place though :-) alot of wonderful people here that truly do understand. Im glad everything is good with your son. That will be a true sence of joy.

Lexapro 1 1/8 mg and 10 mg Propranolol. I jumped down to 2.5 mg lexapro from 5 mg on oct 2 where I had been for 7 months and went from 2.5 mg to 1 1/8 mg not sure when maybe around nov 2 went back up to 2.5 mg December 30 . May 13 small cut lexapro 2.5 mg down to 2.4 mg 9/4/14 dropped 8.33% to 2.2 mg 10/13/14 dropped to 2mg lexapro. Back up to 2.2 mg 10/15/14. Dropped to 2 mg lexapro 11/26/14. Dropped 10% to 1.8 mg lexapro 1/11/15. 2/23/15 . Cut of 5%.

3/11/15 cut of 5% 5/3/15 cut of 5% 6/3/15 cut of 5% 7/19/15 cut of 5%. Continued small cuts of 5% every six weeks or so untill October 8th 2016 ,last dose . Last dose was 0.8mg. Currently taking 10 mg propranolol in the afternoon. 1400mg fish oil. 250 mg magnesium, 250 mg L-Taurine, 500 mg Tumeric. 40 mg Zocore simvistatin.

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  • Administrator

traumatized, your symptoms are from withdrawal syndrome, NOT a psychiatric disorder.

 

Please read these topics http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-antidepressant-withdrawal-syndrome/

 

particularly http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/392-one-theory-of-antidepressant-withdrawal-syndrome/

 

You may be able to work something out with your psychiatrist, who seems to have an unusual grasp of your condition.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Do you believe this is withdawl even though I was off the lexapro 1.5 years prior to trying it again and have been unable to take any mess since without terrible issues.. causing further depression. .dark depression and extreme anxiety. I was to the point last time that I started biting myself and scratches till I bled. I'm so worried about post partum. ..I'm glad I have you guys nnw.

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  • Administrator

Many people here have similar post-withdrawal hypersensitivity to other neuroactive drugs. This is part of the autonomic dysfunction. You need to treat your nervous system gently and let it heal.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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They tried zyprexa just one pill and my heart went crazy again. Dr didn't act concerned but I was scared to death. Hr was 150 as soon as I stood up. I feel like there is no way out of this... don't know if my drug reactions are a kindling effect..withdraw or if I am bipolar. Sorry everyone. . I'm having a very emotional day and carrying my little guy doesn't help.

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T, Read the DSM-5 description of bipolar disorder when you have time. Does that sound like your experience? Let's see, you couldn't believe you got pregnant. What is typical manic sexual behavior? Just sayin :)

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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Oh my this brought back a lot for me... a lot of what your talking about I have lived... I am sorry to have any company at all least of all a pregnant woman.  My heart goes out to you.  The reactions to medications is common I have it too and cannot take anything psych related.  I was a bit surprised ativan worked at all.. for me it caused a paradoxical reaction.  Please be careful with any further medications for a good long time.  You don't need any more trouble. 

I had the fluctuating bp and found it to be POTs when I was googling.  I could not express myself well and kept going to hospitals too looking for help... for some of the same an some different reason.  Can you eat?  I could not eat. 

I hope you can keep your body healthy for the babies sake and yours.  

 

Time is what heals this but it can take a long time.  Keeping yourself occupied and steady does not seem like a full time job to others who have not lived this but for those of us who have know it is a full time job. 

 

I don't have much advice just now other than not taking pills and be careful with supplements too.  Rest and don't trigger yourself with crap like tv and radio... any outside stuff shut it all down and make a nest to heal in.  There are many things in the self care thread to partake of.  Build yourself a safe place and tool kit from the things in self care and do just that take good care of you. 

I wish you peace. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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The ativan hardly worked. .. it would wear off in an hour and I'd be 10 times worse.it also caused heart ppaps and made me feel like I was disconnected from the world. Being pregnant has been a very big struggle. I cry everyday. .. It has been so long. I've pretty much lost everything I've worked so hard for n now I'm scared to be a lone with my baby.. irrational fears!!

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  • Administrator

Yes, a benzo can go paradoxical, making things worse.

 

Do you have friends who can keep you company? Is this your first child?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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You're not bi-polar. My doctor tried that one on me when I had a severe reaction to an SSRI.

I'm sorry to hear of your suffering...it's very un-heard of for people to react to drugs like we do.

 

I wonder just how many people out there have been mis-diagnosed?

 

There's got to be some way this can all be made more public?

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

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I do wonder how rare this all is. 

If I could suggest something it would be a relaxation.  Heat the spine I found helpful and the sound of the ocean on head phones. These things helped when I did not feel like I had to move when I had to move I walked more of a mad stomp as the sound of my feet hitting the ground was grounding to me and helped me feel like I was more real. I instinctively knew I was in trouble and I also learned the hosp and doctors were not going to help me.  Looking back and after reading others stories I think maybe I am lucky emerg docs did not put me on my pych drugs... maybe I really was lucky it is hard to say. 

 

Epson salt baths is one way to get magnesium into your body without a reaction I found this helpful too. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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  • 1 year later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi traumatized,

I'm responding here to your PM as well as there, so others have a chance to catch up with your situation and offer some support. It sounds like you are still experiencing some akathisia and asked what my experience of it was like.

 

Very similar to what you describe earlier in this thread, but not as extreme. I also reacted by feeling like I was frozen, too terrified to even move, so I didn't pace, not very often anyway. I tried it a few times, at other times in sheer panic I would run out the door and head to the park, to try and get some relief, but nothing ever took the feeling away.

 

A tortuous inner restlessness would be the way I describe it... completely physical.

 

Here are our akathisia related topics, I hope you find them helpful:

 

Akathisia vs restlessness, anxiety, agitation - Symptoms and ...

 

Blog: My Akathisia Experience by akathisiainfo - Symptoms ...

 

It would be great if you would put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature. Doing this helps people understand your context, it appears below each of your posts. Here are instructions for how to do it:

 

http://survivinganti...your-signature/

 

If you feel up to it, a short update here would be helpful too. I'm sorry you are experiencing this again, did it ever stop?

 

Petunia.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Traumatized,

 

I'm so very sorry for all that you have gone through, at the hands of the psychiatrists & doctors you encountered. No one should have to go through this. You have had a particularly hard time , but seem to be handling it , with a lot of strength.

 

A short update , would be helpful .  Are you still having akathisia ?  What are your other symptoms ? 

 

Ali.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hang in there, Traumatized! It's been a rough ride, but you will get through this!

 

Prayers!

 

XOXO

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi traumatized,

 

I was just re-reading your thread, and wondering how you were doing.  I don't know if you are up to posting but wanted you to know I was thinking of you.  Have you seen any improvements lately? 

 

US

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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  • 3 months later...
  • Administrator

How are you, traumatized?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi traumatized, I am wondering how you are too.  Hope you can check in and give us an update, hope things have improved. 

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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  • 5 months later...

Hi traumatized,

 

I received your PM and answered you but also wanted to say here that I'm of course very sorry to hear that you continue to struggle with the akathisia and other symptoms.  My heart goes out to you.  Please know it will get better and please let us know how you are doing when you are able to.

 

I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

With care,

 

US

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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Bumping, traumatized is really struggling, please if you can offer some support leave her a message. 

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

So that we can offer suggestions we need to know what symptoms traumatized is currently experiencing, as well as any changes that have occurred (eg life stressors etc), including any type of drug/s or supplements.

 

Traumatized, it would be good if you can post these yourself so that we can get accurate details.

Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions. 

  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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