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MollyN


MollyN

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Hi everyone, I'm extremely glad to find this group. I burst into tears when I found it.
Most of my antidepressant journey is in my signature, but my greatest fears are these:

Honestly as I withdraw I become the meanest most vicious woman you've ever met. I am mentally all over the place and filled with bitterness and hate. I'm so embarrassed, I was never like this prior to the drugs. I worry that is who I actually am now?! My husband just wants me to keep on taking them

Edited by scallywag
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Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Welcome Molly,

 

I am so saddened that you have gone through distress .. :(

 

It does not need to be that way with proper tapering .. I am delighted that you found this wonderful forum,

and already on your way to feeling better ..

 

Please hang in there .. Someone caring and knowledgeable will come along shortly, to help you ..

 

Wishing you blessings, 

 

Love, Lexicon

Hello,
I am tapering Lorazepam, and my daily dose is 1.125 mgs.

I followed a long hold for 5 months, ( Nov-March 2019) hoping to find some stability, 

but it did not work. So I resumed my taper and hold pattern.
For the last 3 years, I have been using a daily microtaper, cutting .001mgs per day, with holds as needed.
Symptoms are head pressure, labored breathing, palpitations, abrupt surges of dizziness, this being my worst symptom for now, internal tremors, my latest nemesis, unsteadiness, anxiety, plus many other symptoms that cycle in, and cycle out consistently. Not a day passes, without grief :(

I take no other meds.

January 2013 - 15 day quick taper off 10 mgs of Lexapro, and 25 mgs of Sertraline,

at a detox clinic.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Welcome MollyN,

Thank you for posting an introduction.  I'm so glad you found us at the beginning of your taper and have learned that coming off psyche drugs doesn't have to be so difficult.

 

Thank you also for filling out the signature section, what dose of Paxil are you on at the moment?

 

It sounds like you have explored our site and found some good information, but in case you haven't found it yet, here are our tips for safely tapering off Paxil:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/405-tips-for-tapering-off-paxil-paroxetine/?hl=%2Btips+%2Bfor+%2Btapering+%2Boff+%2Bpaxil

 

We recommend reducing by no more than 10% of the current dose with holds of 4 - 6 weeks in between, depending on symptoms.

 

You will find a lot of friendly help and support here.

 

Petu.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi MollyN,

 

Now you've got the right idea about tapering off Paxil - many of the people on this forum have had to back up and then go forward very slowly with their tapers. The important thing is to succeed as comfortably as possible, not go as fast as possible.

 

I did a too-fast taper off of Lexapro over two years ago and for months I flew into rages over practically nothing. I think you'll find that once you get settled with a comfortable dose of medicine, the anger will go away.  One thing I did notice, after reading up about the role of elevated cortisol in withdrawal (see the Symptoms and self-care discussion), was that bright light really set me off.  I started keeping the house as dark as possible up until one in the afternoon or so (when the irritability seemed to go away by itself), even wearing sunglasses in the house, and that helped a lot.  It's a good idea to always wear sunglasses outside during the day.  I found that I could only tolerate going out to get necessities at dusk and I did my best to be home before people started turning on their headlights.

 

Welcome to the forum.  I'm glad you found us early on. 

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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Thank you all so much xxxx that is such a lovely welcome!

Amazing about the bright light, I was just moaning a couple of days ago that I couldn't bear the light and wanted to get a pair of glasses that automatically darken.

I'm not actually sure what dose I'm taking presently, I cut off a wee slice on one side and one on the other, it was making the 3rd slice that set me off.. My poor family :(

I remember when I stopped 20mg suddenly years ago and went completely crazy, jogging on the spot for hours trying to get rid of the internal madness, then finally getting so scared and going to see a 24hour doctor and they prescribed a sedative! Blimmin heck! No mention of the wd of the paroxetine being the issue. Thank God I threw it in the bin, however I can see how quickly we can spiral downhill with new prescriptions making us worse and worse, until we don't know which way is up.

Are anger and rages common symptoms? How did your family cope Jemima?

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Extreme irritability is quite common in antidepressant withdrawal.  I'm retired, divorced with no kids, and live only with a sweet, beautiful cat, so I can't give advice on dealing with family. Thank God I never took out the rage on my kitty, although I think I may have accidentally scared her a few times. I do remember being very careful not to flip out on friends and acquaintances and walking out of stores because the bright light, music, and screaming children were just too much to take. (Beware of arts and crafts stores in the afternoon - that's where the stay-at-home-moms seem to go.)

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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Hi MollyN. Thank you so much for the sweet encouragement you posted on my thread.

 

It brought tears to my eyes. Please just take it slow and easy with your taper.

 

You are lucky to find this place just as you are starting out. It sounds like you

 

are starting from a good place now. Moving back to move forward was the right thing

 

thing to do. I wish you the very best on your journey. Keep

 

posting and letting us know how it's going.

2006-Cymbalta 60mg for lyme disease2009-Quit Cymbalta c/tFeb. 2010-Reinstated 60mg CymMar.2010 to May.2012 tapered Cym to 36mgMay 2012-Crossed over to 30mg CelexaMay 2012-Oct.2013 Tapered Celexa down to 2.5mgOct.2013-Switched to 30 beads CymbaltaDec.4,2013-Stopped Cymbalta at 17 beads<p>Akathisia hit at 6 wks off and continuesNow taking melatonin when needed for sleep.

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Hi MollyN

 

Another Kiwi   :)

I am tapering off Effexor XR, I also went a bit too fast and have backed up so i can now go forward slowly. Thank goodness for all these wonderful knowledgeable people, I don't feel so alone anymore. Hope your journey goes well!!

March 2012 Fluoxetine 20mg

June 2012 change to Escitalopram 20mg

August 2012 change to Venlafaxine, Effexor XR 150mg

March 2013 add Ropinirole 0.5mg for restless legs syndrome seriously disturbing sleep

Feb 10th 2014 begin tapering off Effexor 150mg by 25% as per Dr.

Feb 19th 2014 Bad headaches..relief in finding SA site.

Feb 20th Increase Effexor to 131.25mg. Head improves over next few days.

March 28th decrease Effexor by 5 % to 125mg. Brain fog + depression after 10 days but passes by.

May 6th decrease Effexor to 118.75mg depression + brain fog lasting 10 days

June4th-112.5mg, July 21st-106mg,August 30th-101mg

2015 - 5% decrease as able, January 2016-50mg + struggling.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thank you all so much xxxx that is such a lovely welcome!

Amazing about the bright light, I was just moaning a couple of days ago that I couldn't bear the light and wanted to get a pair of glasses that automatically darken.

I'm not actually sure what dose I'm taking presently, I cut off a wee slice on one side and one on the other, it was making the 3rd slice that set me off.. My poor family :(

I remember when I stopped 20mg suddenly years ago and went completely crazy, jogging on the spot for hours trying to get rid of the internal madness, then finally getting so scared and going to see a 24hour doctor and they prescribed a sedative! Blimmin heck! No mention of the wd of the paroxetine being the issue. Thank God I threw it in the bin, however I can see how quickly we can spiral downhill with new prescriptions making us worse and worse, until we don't know which way is up.

Are anger and rages common symptoms? How did your family cope Jemima?

 

Hi Molly, welcome to the site!

 

Be sure and read through the materials on tapering.  Just cutting off bits of the drug by "eyeball" method generally results in too much irregular bouncing around of dosages. It's better to either use a scale (if you want to cut "dry"), get a commercially available liquid, get a compounded liquid, or make your own liquid, so that you can know exactly how much you're removing and make sure your doses aren't bouncing around.

 

Being cranky is a very normal withdrawal symptom, as is that kind of inner glitchy restlessness crawliness. When I've made some cuts and I'm having withdrawal, I try to keep my head down at work and keep to myself, because I've said a few things I've later regretted there! I'm not sure how successful I'm being. I think they just tolerate me.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                   1

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Also, if you get your dosage controlled and hold your taper for a while, your moods should improve. It could take a month or three. Once you're pretty stable you'll find you can control the symptoms by controlling and pacing the taper and adjusting it according to your needs (external stressors for example, whatever else is going on in life, etc.)  If you take it slowly you may make a believer out of your husband.

 

And as for that, I recommend getting a copy of Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker, when you get a chance.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                   1

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you all so much! Yes, the eye balling was a mistake most definitely don't recommend it :)

I visited the pharmacy, unfortunately got a young chap in his first job I think, when I inquired about paroxetine in a liquid, he was quite confused, when I told him it was to taper off it he looked at me askance.. Sigh... Anyway bought a pill cutter and took 3/4 of the 20mg tablet, which must have been more than I was taking with my haphazard slices, since I've felt ok since. I really do need a liquid or scales though to half that next quarter though, I doubt going from 3/4 to 1/2 will be successful, thanks again lovely people xx

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Well that was brilliant, I found a link on the 'Tapering' posts to an NZ pharmacy that makes up the liquid of paroxetine, fabulous service, not too too expensive and just up the road.. Feeling like tapering at 10% might actually be a reality xxxx

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • Administrator

Welcome, MollyN.

 

Yes, that's why we're here. Glad you found the information you needed.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 9 months later...

Hi :) it appears I'm a slow learner and promptly forgot all the good advice I've been given!

 

8 months later armed with my trusty (and not especially sensitive cutter) I reduced from 15mg to 10mg of stupid stupid hateful paroxetine (Paxil)... And no one gets a prize for guessing what's happened! Yep feeling terrible, ESPECIALLY in the mornings!! Is this normal?!?! Feeling flat as a pancake, except when I'm angry:(

 

So back to basics, will re contact doctor to get script for compounding pharmacy liquid and start acting like a grown up. Thank you thank you for this site and all the people here who understand this nightmare xxxx

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment

Also can someone explain cortisol for me and what happens with this during our ssri usage and tapering? (Simple is best ;))

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Welcome back Molly,

I'm sorry you're feeling awful, but its not surprising after such a large cut. When did you make this reduction?  If it was in the last few days, I suggest you go back to your previous dose and then stabilize before beginning a proper taper.

 

We suggest reducing by no more than 10% of the current dose every 4 weeks, this reduces the risk of withdrawal symptoms arising.  Please read through this which will explain why:

  

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?  (The general philosophy of gradual tapering)

 

Here are our tips for safely tapering off Paxil:

 

http://survivinganti...ing +off +paxil

 

This thread may answer your questions about morning cortisol:

I. Hate. Cortisol. Mornings.

 

Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing.

 

Petu.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Thank you so much Petu for the links above. I loved the I.hate.cortisol.mornings! There is something so reassuring in reading shared experiences.

 

Here I'm sitting in the 10mg, and generally the symptoms caused by the silly 5mg drop appear to be easing...

 

In a disturbing aside, recently my 13 yr old daughter had a tantrum and went to live with her father full time (he and I have been divorced 6 years). She is a deeply anxious highly strung dear girl and her nature has not at all been helped by her background, her father has suffered from severe depression for decades and has spent numerous periods in institutions and suicide attempts (hence my PTSD from those terrible years) . her father emailed me yesterday to check I was ok with her being prescribed sleeping meds for her insomnia and anxiety. My gut relation was to say no, I don't want her being sent down this road... Does anyone have any experience with children, anxiety, insomnia, medication?

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment

Hi.  My daughter is now 15 and she has developed anxiety and panic attacks over the past 3-4 years.  I really feel bad about it as I am guessing she has been reacting to my anxiety over the years.  I tried to get her to go to a counsellor to start with and she did that a couple of times but really would not engage (sit there the whole hour looking at the counsellor and not talking) so then I got the GP to recommend some CBT therapy and she refused to go to that.  When her exams came around last November she was a mess and I went to the doctor again thinking they could give her a short acting benzo just to get her through the 4 exams but the GP said absolutely no way she would ever prescribe something like that to a 15 year old.  I guess I was pleased with that response as I really don't want her to go down that road as their brains are not fully developed for many years yet to come but at the same time she didn't complete two of the exams because of the anxiety.  Sorry I don't have any answers, but as your daughter is only 13 I personally would try as many other alternatives as I could first before putting her on a SSRI.  I would consider something short term for sleep if really needed if herbal remedies etc didn't work.  Its good that your ex is asking for your input.

On and off Paroxetine 20mg 2003-2014 for panic disorder with agoraphobia.  Came off three times via the 'Prozac bridge' but only managed to be off for 3,5 and 9 months before panic attacks started and I rushed back to the doctor asking for more paxil.  After the last relapse the doctor decided to give me prozac instead and the start up activating effects nearly killed me.  Went to my first psychiatrist at that point who instantly put me on 40 mg paxil.  I couldn't tolerate it that high, became a raging alcoholic within days and manic, so dropped back to 20mg.  That's when I finally I finally felt I had hit rock bottom and started desperately searching for information on these drugs.  Discovered the real truth and found out about the 10% taper and CBT etc.  Tapered without too many problems over 13 months until hitting a bad patch at  3.1mg.  Jumped off 3.1g on 27th April 2014.  Got instant relief from coming off and was off for 8 months doing ok battling the panic attacks with CBT.  Ups and downs particularly insomnia, down to 1-2 hours sleep a night for 6 months.  17/1/15 had a breakdown, panic attacks lasting all day and night, no sleep for three days straight.  Referred to the mental health crisis team for intervention.

20/1/14 started 10mg clomipramine and 1 mg lorazapam at night.

 

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Hi.  My daughter is now 15 and she has developed anxiety and panic attacks over the past 3-4 years.  I really feel bad about it as I am guessing she has been reacting to my anxiety over the years.  I tried to get her to go to a counsellor to start with and she did that a couple of times but really would not engage (sit there the whole hour looking at the counsellor and not talking) so then I got the GP to recommend some CBT therapy and she refused to go to that.  When her exams came around last November she was a mess and I went to the doctor again thinking they could give her a short acting benzo just to get her through the 4 exams but the GP said absolutely no way she would ever prescribe something like that to a 15 year old.  I guess I was pleased with that response as I really don't want her to go down that road as their brains are not fully developed for many years yet to come but at the same time she didn't complete two of the exams because of the anxiety.  Sorry I don't have any answers, but as your daughter is only 13 I personally would try as many other alternatives as I could first before putting her on a SSRI.  I would consider something short term for sleep if really needed if herbal remedies etc didn't work.  Its good that your ex is asking for your input.

 

Thank you peach for your reply, we care so greatly for our children, it's a terrible thing to watch them suffer :(

 

I no longer have ANY faith in these drugs. None. My daughter has been 'difficult' since she was a baby, very highly strung, sensitive to light/getting dressed/undressed everything, unfortunately as my first child I was woefully I'll equipped to understand that this was 'just her' and I tried to make her 'be more like the other easy going kids' as she got older. But as her siblings came along, I've grown to realise that so much of how we are is in our nature, because the next 4 children are far far more was going etc and yes, in this child's case she absolutely would have been more likely to thrive with an extremely stable family, but I also recognise she would have bought those parents to there knees as well. (Which is a very long winded way to say don't hold yourself responsible!)

 

Like your daughter with schooling, my daughter is now doing poorly at school, I've offered to homeschool her, even just for a year as a trial, mainly to give her poor mind a break from the complex social interactions she finds incredibly taxing.

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment

Oh and You had to give up coffee! That's terrible, I'm realising I have to give up my beloved sugar... But my morning coffee?! Please no!

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment

Haha, yes it was quite an adjustment to give up the coffee but it started making me literally shake and the jitteriness lasted for hours.  Only really noticed it once I completely came off the paroxetine.  I still find myself boiling the jug at work and standing there wondering what I am going to do with it since I love the routine of going to the kitchen to ****** a break and make a drink..I usually take some herbal tea but there's no substitute for the real thing:)

On and off Paroxetine 20mg 2003-2014 for panic disorder with agoraphobia.  Came off three times via the 'Prozac bridge' but only managed to be off for 3,5 and 9 months before panic attacks started and I rushed back to the doctor asking for more paxil.  After the last relapse the doctor decided to give me prozac instead and the start up activating effects nearly killed me.  Went to my first psychiatrist at that point who instantly put me on 40 mg paxil.  I couldn't tolerate it that high, became a raging alcoholic within days and manic, so dropped back to 20mg.  That's when I finally I finally felt I had hit rock bottom and started desperately searching for information on these drugs.  Discovered the real truth and found out about the 10% taper and CBT etc.  Tapered without too many problems over 13 months until hitting a bad patch at  3.1mg.  Jumped off 3.1g on 27th April 2014.  Got instant relief from coming off and was off for 8 months doing ok battling the panic attacks with CBT.  Ups and downs particularly insomnia, down to 1-2 hours sleep a night for 6 months.  17/1/15 had a breakdown, panic attacks lasting all day and night, no sleep for three days straight.  Referred to the mental health crisis team for intervention.

20/1/14 started 10mg clomipramine and 1 mg lorazapam at night.

 

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You're so right, it is in part the routine that's so comforting :)

Reading people's experiences on this site has become my new hobby, it's a club none of us wish we belonged too... Well anyway, here I am sitting on 10mg of devious Paxil and waiting.....

 

Here's a bit of positive feedback from a medical doctor that gives me a spark of hope for the profession: my husband suffered something pretty traumatic in March of 2014, he started getting migraines and feeling extremely down, lost interest in everything etc... He went to his regular doctor who said "you've had something really horrible happen to you, of course you're going to feel terrible. I'm not going to give you anti depressants because what you're feeling is a normal response to trauma, do some exercise, cut down the alcohol and you'll get better with time." I wish my doctor had had the same wisdom. Life is just had sometimes and to be 'treated' with drugs rather than supported through a natural grieving process is a travesty in my opinion.

Have a lovely symptom free day everyone xx

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment

Update so I don't forget, started 1 capsule of Krill oil omega 3 suppl. (From a slightly expired pack I found in the fridge!)

 

Have also resigned from work to reduce stress, last days will be in April. Although my job is really quite fulfilling in some ways (I work for a human rights organisation) by the time I've paid child care, the amount of lost earnings is made up by the savings I make being in charge of our household and family. Not letting all our finances slip into disarray like they have done in the last year I've been working. I will try and find work for 2 days a week, even if I have to volunteer to get an opportunity. We will also downsize to a smaller, cheaper home this year.

 

 

Something a great poster wrote in cdav's thread got me thinking about health and how we should prioritise it. Time to put myself first?

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Yes, Molly, that's what this condition teaches us.

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Molly, sorry to hear you are having the terrible mornings? Do you wake up in a hellish state of terror? It's really common, it seems. I still do not love mornings, but my terror went away in late December. Hang in there.

2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink.

2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ...

Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.
2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures.

:o 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years.

I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body.

2015: I  began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning.

I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral.

And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. 

I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up.

In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body.   :unsure:

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Update so I don't forget, started 1 capsule of Krill oil omega 3 suppl. (From a slightly expired pack I found in the fridge!)

 

Have also resigned from work to reduce stress, last days will be in April. Although my job is really quite fulfilling in some ways (I work for a human rights organisation) by the time I've paid child care, the amount of lost earnings is made up by the savings I make being in charge of our household and family. Not letting all our finances slip into disarray like they have done in the last year I've been working. I will try and find work for 2 days a week, even if I have to volunteer to get an opportunity. We will also downsize to a smaller, cheaper home this year.

 

 

Something a great poster wrote in cdav's thread got me thinking about health and how we should prioritise it. Time to put myself first?

Sounds like a good plan Molly, I hope you find something you love to do for the 2 days and hope you find a nice place to move to. It's very positive and

great to put your health first.  It absolutely is time to put yourself first!

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

Link to comment
  • 7 months later...

Hello lovely folks!!! It's been 7 months since I last posted, I hope you'll doing really well xxxx

 

In the world of slow learners - I am a winner!!

 

I refilled by script for loxamine (paxil) about 6 days ago and there was something wrong with it!

 

I've taken this drug for years and years and I felt withdrawal symptoms despite absolutely no missed doses and no reduction. I phoned the pharmacist - he said no change in product, phoned the manufacturer they said no change in product but took every detail of my life bar my shoe size (actually that might have been question #83) and said they'd pass it on to their 'Global Something Something Division'.

 

 

So I did what anyone would do(?!) I thought if I'm going to feel bad as though I'm reducing I may as well actually reduce, soooo I've dropped from 10mg which I've been on for 9 months to 5mg (only because it was the only reasonable way I could cut the 20mg tablet)

 

Feeling pretty sketchy, day 5 now, grim balance issues, cycling from nearly tears to nearly anger to nearly despair. Soooo this is interesting, it's definitely not as intense as drops in the past have been, but they are definitely there and I feel moderately stretched internally, like my nerves are stretched.

 

Hanging tight, willing myself though the day - the one thing I have really going for me right now is that life is really stable, I'm not working, I've been focusing on my finances (which have always been pitiful - still a bit pitiful but at least I know where the dollars are and not getting worse and hopefully with patience slowly better!) So it's easing the burden I think. 

 

I really do hope you're all ok out there xxxxx

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Molly, thanks for popping by to update. Sorry to hear that you had a bad experience with your recent batch of paxil. I may have been made by a different company, and lots of people can tell the difference with some becoming quite ill. I believe that the active ingredient can legally be up to 20% more or less, I need to check that out though because my memory is shot but I do remember that there can be a significant difference. The trouble with cutting by 50% of the dose is that you don't know if you were suffering because you were getting LESS of the drug or suffering from having MORE than usual. If the dose was actually less, and then you cut by 50% it is a massive drop.  I would go up slightly and hold  to avoid the awful withdrawal that you had before. I hope you feel better soon.

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

Link to comment

Thank you a million times over mammaP!!! I can't tell you how reassuring it is to have someone validate my feelings that 'something' was different with the drug and that other folks have experienced it too - it really helps xxxxxx

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Hi folks, I finally got my s**t together and organised liquid paxil, cost a sweet fortune - in a 1mg to 1ml suspension.

I'll be back hiding out on here for a while I think, the drop from 10mg to 5mg is horrible, I feel so down and angry and have terribly short temper, I either want to cry or rage. The symptoms have definitely become worse after the initial head spins eased. Too sad :'( 

 

I've also injured my back, which has meant the tennis that I'd taken up to try and ease the symptoms is on hold. Definitely not my happiest time xxx

 

I hope you're all doing better xxxx

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment

Actually wondering if I should reinstate to 6mg, or even 7mg, I can't stand feeling so bad. Plus of course it's not just me, if I could just sit at home in the dark hating everything I might get through, but I have little people relying on my not to be a raging inferno :( .. .

 

 

looks like I reduced from 10 to 5mg on 12 September '15, so that's .. oh man my poor brain can't even work it out... a month or so? Is it to late to reinstate a bit? Should I just hang in there?

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment

lol and now the 3rd post in a row - sorry I'm hiding in my bedroom since whenever I'm out with the children I shout at them and my back is so sore ...

 

anyway, I've been thinking on something that a friend of mind talked about recently that I thought I'd share with anyone struggling. 

 

This friend had really struggled with life. She is a single parent of two boys and she's extremely creative and struggles with her own brain and it's significant capacity, a great deal. She's had diagnoses of bipolar and adhd. She would spend many years barely functioning as she struggled to cope with her vision of what her life should be (bought up in a charismatic christian household - and feeling like a failure that she wasn't married and ministering to the poor and needy -  instead she was the poor and needy)

She would fall from one dysfunctional relationship to another until her situation became increasingly dire and she was sexually attacked by an ex partner. He was imprisoned, but within a month of release attacked her at knife point.

 

She described how after 3 months of barely functioning after the attack, she had to make a decision.  She felt she had no family who cared - her beloved mother had died the year earlier, no friends who she felt could be bothered with her any longer and she lived with overwhelming fear in a half stupor, mainly sleeping the days away.

 

From this blackest point in her life (she had also been on paxil for 7 years at this stage).She decided that she was either going to kill herself or start living.  She says at this point, she knew she was 'nothing' that she had nothing to prove to anyone, and she found freedom in the 'nothingness'.

 

She threw herself into becoming well. She sold her old car for $2000 and spent the money on multiple sessions per week dance therapy and touch therapy and dbt with a psychologist for 5 sessions (she'd been seeing a counselor for years, until the counselor also withdrew from her in the year prior to the 'end of herself'). She goes to the gym 5 days a week and eats a whole food diet. She gave up sugar caffeine and alcohol.

 

She was aware that the few people that were still in her circles thought she was crazy and self obsessed, but with a single minded focus she attended these sessions multiple times a week for an entire year. Every part of her was single-mindedly focused on becoming whole. She described how stopping the pysch drugs 'just kind of happened' as she built up the other parts of her life.

 

She started acting at 38, and is regularly on stage now and is making a modest living (for now ) with advertisements and minor tv roles. She describes how she is finally free of her own and other people's expectations and judgement, that she could never have put herself out there on the stage if she cared what people think of her. She says it is real freedom, and she also knows that she is whole in her 'nothingness'. (She described it far better than I ever could)

 

I'm hiding in my room reflecting on her journey and what it has to teach us. I lack consistency and perseverance, how could I do what she did? How could I learn to put myself first, to spend the money and the time to invest in myself to be well? She says it was utter desperation that drove her. The pain in my life has been more of a slow burn than the extremes in her's, yet the sadness and the deep emptiness are very similar. We both met and bonded as domestic abuse survivors and I've adored her from the moment I met her. She's a heroine.

 

I'll ponder on this :)

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi MollyN,  would go up 1 mg and see how it goes. Cutting 50% twice has left your poor brain struggling. 

 

Your friend sounds like an amazing person, and I'm glad that she found herself and is happy. 

I'm glad too that she didn't suffer withdrawal, hopefully she never will, she deserves to be happy! 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Hi Molly  :)

 

Thank you for the beautiful words on my thread. I found them very touching.

 

Your friend sounds very inspirational - as do you.

 

Juggling daily tasks and family needs during withdrawal is a mammoth task. Give yourself the credit due to yourself for all that you are achieving.

 

Try not to reduce doses to much. It is a huge shock to your system which can have brutal effects. Gradual reductions will cause fewer problems, especially as you reach a lower dose.

 

Try to show compassion to yourself in terms of the anger, mood and behaviour changes that take place during withdrawal. These effects are very common. You are not alone in experiencing these things.

 

I too have extreme light sensitivity and wear sunglasses in all seasons. Channelling the Jackie O look  ;)

 

Meditation may help you to relax and release negative energy. Have a look at you tube for guided meditations that may be soothing to your current symptoms.

 

I wish you continued healing and look forward to following your progress.

 

Tilly x

1999 - 2004 Paroxetine 20mg  -> 2004 - 2007 Citalopram 20mg -> 2007 -  short term Trazedone use (insomnia) -> 2007 - 2009 Fluoxetine 20mg  ->

2009 - Jan 2012 Citalopram 20mg  (Spring / Summer 2012 protracted withdrawal & related agoraphobia) -> 2012 - September Restarted Citalopram - unbearable start up effects. Discontinued in under 1 week -> Oct 12 -   October 2014 Escitalopram - 10mg prescribed. Started on 5mg and worked up to 10mg in 2.5mg increments  -> Oct 2014  - 5mg; 30/03/15 2.5mg; 15/04/15 3.5mg; 20/05/15 2.9mg;  19/09/15 2.8mg; 30/10/15 2.7mg; 13/11/15 2.6mg. Holding until March.

Diet:  mostly pescatarianl & lots of veg. Weekly offal for b vitamins.  Turmeric, nigella seeds, avocados, apple cider vinegar, coconut products daily. Lots of fluids: water, lemon juice, coconut water, herbal & green tea (decaffeinated).

Supplements: vitamin C 4000mg, Omega 3 fish oil - high DPA & EHA, vitamin E 400iu, vitamin D3 5000mg (Winter only - from sun in Spring / Summer), probiotics.

Current Symptoms: chronic fatigue, erratic sleep, extreme photophobia, eye floaters, noise sensitivity, tinnitus, cognitive & speech difficulties, dizziness, irregular gait, poor co ordination, severe facial and upper body muscle tension, head and neck pressure.

Coping Strategies: good nutrition, cooking, gardening & growing my own food, cycling, dancing, yoga, photography, sewing & creative pursuits, self massage, pampering, meditation, journalling, nature, cuddling cats & humans, laughter & humour, gratitude, self care, aromatherapy, audio books, word games & believing in myself, my potential and my future.

 

"Everything I need is within me" - Shakti Gawain

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Thanks mammaP for your sound advice lol I often read on people's threads when they are in severe WD that they'll ask for advice then get given it from staff, then ask same question again, be given same advice again repeatedly - 'the poor lambs they're so confused' I thought - then looked at my own record of needing help and entirely ignoring the advice to my detriment to realise I'm entirely the same! (although not anymore! ;) I am going to faithfully reduce in a sensible slow and steady rate.... ... ..)

 

Thanks Tilly - you're so encouraging! like you say withdrawal while 'caring' for little people is incredibly challenging and ups the guilt I feel exponenially - it's one thing to damage yourself, quite another to feel like your damaging vulnerable young people. I have to be on top of my game to parent them all as it is, so right now it's tortuous. I am absolutely triggered by their fighting, especially my young girls, their screams send me to instant and explosive rage - acting straight from the amygdala I can't seem to press pause. However tomorrow is another day (and I must say that for the rest of today after experiencing their mother's desperate rage they were very well behaved including hours spent in the city, in cafes, libraries, parks etc. )

 

I read a very interesting post from dalsaan and others about 'drama' and part included a reminder to not post too often because we need to be out doing things :D I did heaps today, so hope I'm allowed ;) I must say I find the rest of the world just too prickly presently, I find this a safe harbour while I'm in the difficult part of withdrawal. However this time... wait for it... 

 

It's all about upping the Self Care at the same time as withdrawing from the drug! (I know - revolutionary right?! hehehe I'm a s.l.o.w learner!)

So I thought I'd keep a little record of the things I'm going to try to start to improve my life ready for LAP (life after paroxetine)

 

Molly's Get Well Strategy

 

1. Signed up for 10 individual sessions of pilates.

  • The advantages: Working towards good physical health!
    • I've damaged my back (further sudden excruciating pain today while in town with umpteen children in tow who were soaking wet from playing in a fountain arrrgghhh) I don't know what's exactly wrong with it, but I do know my core strength is non existent and will be a significant contributing factor. I must say I'm scared by all the pain killers I'm taking presently,  but I can't get relief to sleep without them.
  • The challenge:
    • Not entirely sure how to afford the $610 but I'm not letting that stop me for now.

Well, it's a start at least :)

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment
  • Administrator
It's all about upping the Self Care at the same time as withdrawing from the drug!

 

 

You got it! You might want to start out with some physical therapy for your back rather than leaping into a strenuous workout regimen.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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