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Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

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John

ADMIN NOTE Nobody on this site thinks any disorders magically go away by going off psychiatric drugs. If you think the drugs are controlling certain symptoms, you will need to take responsibility for learning to manage those symptoms without drugs.

 

Taking responsibility for your own health and behavior is key to going off psychiatric drugs. If you cannot do that, and the symptoms are hampering your life, perhaps going off drugs is not for you.

 

If you have a tendency towards obsessive anxiety about your health, no amount of reassurance from others here will have an effect on it. You must do the work yourself.

 

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), other types of talk therapy, and meditation are non-drug ways to manage habits of obsessive thinking. People also find their own effective self-treatments, such as taking up various sports or hobbies.

 

SurvivingAntidepressants.org is not a general mental health support site. If you wish to talk about your obsessive preoccupations, you may wish to visit http://www.depressionforums.org/or other general mental health support sites, and post on SurvivingAntidepressants.org only when you have questions about tapering.

 


 

Now that i'm once again in the throes of withdrawal (and I hope it IS withdrawal), I read incessantly for an answer of why I feel this way, and how to fix this (which i'll never find).  Since I searched for why my anxiety almost goes away (if not totally) at around 8-9pm,  I came across a story on depression, and how he described it, saying at first mornings arent so great, then during the day its better, and at night its sometimes gone.  They also mention weight loss (which I had when I went cold turkey because all my life, when I get scared or upset my appetite disappears), etc.  When this first started, I saw a psychologist, and I asked him if I had depression, and he said "no".  Also, does depression begin at a moments notice,and stays at such a high level for months?  I also dont feel worthless, guilty, or sad.  Here's what I read:

 

http://www.mentalhealth.com/story/p52-dps5.html

Edited by Altostrata
added admin note

 

 
 

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Petunia

There are a lot of horror stories and misinformation on the internet, if you keep searching for other explanations for your symptoms or a quick fix, its not surprising that you would get more confused or anxious.

 

I spent a lot of time doing just that before I found this site and realized what was going on.  It still took quite a while before I believed it fully.  I think you would be better off exploring this site and the many helpful links.  Search the internet for resources to help you relax and stay calm and stay occupied in more helpful ways.

 

Some things I have found helpful are guided meditations and meditation music.  Sleep hypnosis youtube videos.  Talks and interviews with a spiritual theme.  Talks, lectures and documentaries about things I'm interested in, but nothing too emotionally arousing.


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Nikki

John...

 

In your opening sentence you answered your own question ~ it's WD and much like you I drive myself absolutely insane trying to figure out what in God's name is wrong with me.

 

Doing this must be part of WD

 

When I re-read my posts when I am in a huge downer I see that I ask this question over and over again.  Then I settle down and I am able to say "It's psych drugs."  But it is very hard when going thru it.

 

We just want to feel normal again.


Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Meimeiquest

Hi John, I think there is an element of autonomic disruption in both depression and withdrawal, and that it is the elevated cortisol and related hormones that contribute to this symptom pattern. I still think Unraveling CFS is a most helpful book on this.


1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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Bellisimo

John, im there and really been there.. Been searching EVERYWERE for an answer and a solution on "what is wrong with me" i went to doc, forced him to take plenty of different tests of me, bc i was so sure i had a deadly deasese and was dying and was so pissed they didnt understand or helped me .. came out that all tests was fine..

Its hard feeling almost dead and tests shows nothing wrong with you =(


2007 - 2013: was on citalopram (tried to quit a few times, never worked, always went back on. max dose 40mg)

2012-2013: was tapering my citalopram all down to 2,5 mg then quit.
2013/aug: Took  my last pill 

W/D hit me bad after a few weeks off my medicine.

2014/August: 12 months off (much improved)

2015/April: 20months off. ( much improved, still some symtoms comes in waves, but not so intense.)

2015/june: 22months off. FELT different than before, all shakings suddenly stopped, feel much better. a fantastic feeling!

2016/Feb : 2 years and 6 months off, END of my suffering. I feel perfectly fine and back to normal. 
2018/Oct: Iam still feeling great. It is hard to believe my own story when I read back, what I went through!

 

 

 

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eva

All in all, I am not doing so bad. I have good days, and even good weeks sometimes. No real desparation or deep depression. Still alot of fatigue though, and alot of physical complaints, like stomach pain, gas, intestinal pain, shoulderpain with nerve pain in arm, sometimes swollen glands, tingling in hands or feet etc. That wouldn't be so bad if it wouldn'y worry me so much. It's less bad then it used to be but still sometimes I get really obsessed by my physical trouble, start looking things up on the internet and invariably end up terrified that i have cancer or some other terrible disease.

Anyone recognise this? I know I shouldn't look symptoms up on the internet as it is bound to scare me but sometimes I just can't stop myself. Do any of you have advise or tips on how to stop this? Is this something that happens with others as well?


1990-2013: prozac, 40 mg. daily

2013: st. Johnswort, 3 x 300 mg. daily

tapered st. Johnswort, now off it.

magnesium oil: applied to feet, at night

low dose naltrexone: 3 mg. daily

Taurine 3 x 500 mg.

calcium: 800 mg.

Fishoil

Amino acids complex

Ashwaganda, 2 x 450 mg.

August 2014: stopped supplements, reinstated prozac, first 10 mg., now 15 mg. , for severe anxiety and panic and total insomnia.

 

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dekiru

I do this too. Sometimes I actually want to find something that explains my symptoms that isn't withdrawal, so that maybe it could be cured and there would be an end point.


01/2006 Put on Prozac for anxiety and panic attacks 08/2008 Came off Zoloft after tapering don't remember taper, lost weight, felt like had cold constantly, very panicky, pain everywhere (misdiagnosed fibromyalgia), head funny.05/2010 put back on Zoloft03/2012 came completely off Zoloft followed Dr standard taper- no appetite, lost weight (0.5 stone), flu-like feelings constantly, pain everywhere, head funny, nausea, very panicky, very strong emotions etc Lost 1 stone.04/2013 improving. actually put on some weight and hungry most of the time. Still burning pain joints, stomach upset, headache/feel faint and emotions very strong. Chest very painful too.01/2014 improving still. Gained weight!! Still hungry. Still headache/feel faint and strong emotions and chest/shoulder muscles painful. Periods irregular and very painful. Very tired. Joints burn only if eat refined sugars. Started eating fruits again.03/2014 2 years off. Now intolerances developed to nuts and soya. Permanently hungry, Emotions strong but started healing psychological reasons I was put on antidepressants with therapist. Shoulder pain bad, heady often, very tired.06/2014 flu-like symptoms returned, many intolerances, stomach painful, skin crawling feeling, muscles painful, very emotional. :-((

09/2016 over 4.5 years off, no real changes in symptoms, still much pain, headiness, heart weird, digestion bad, hormones unbalanced, nausea yet very hungry, tired, flu like symptoms etc etc.

<p>taking - vit C, probiotics and digestive enzymesI have Aspergers Syndrome.

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mammaP

I think many of us can relate to this. The suffering is real but tests always come back fine.

It would be a  relief knowing there is something that can be fixed, or an explanation to give

people for why we are so ill. It's an awful thing to go through.

 

I found it much easier when I knew that my symptoms were caused by the drugs and withdrawal.

Just knowing that meant that I could be sick in peace on bad days and know that it will eventually

get better. It took a long time to sink in and believe it and I have Alto and this site to thank for 

teaching me.  Acceptance is the key here, once we accept that it is drugs/withdrawal  we can 

learn to ride the bad times knowing they will end.  It isn't easy, especially when there are people

to look after or a job to go to, it's a nightmare I wouldn't wish on anyone. except the pharma bosses

and shrinks of course, It would be good if every one of them had a taste of withdrawal ! 


**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Bellisimo

oooh ive been sooo hypocondric during my withdrawal and still is, It feels so weird feeling THIS BAD and go to doc and take tests and it coming back fine. I mean its so weird, but thue , these drugs are really a mess up for the brain :( I feel so angry at myself for trusting the docs to put me back on the medicine over and over again when i was suffering withdrawal but i thought it was something else, like doc told me.


2007 - 2013: was on citalopram (tried to quit a few times, never worked, always went back on. max dose 40mg)

2012-2013: was tapering my citalopram all down to 2,5 mg then quit.
2013/aug: Took  my last pill 

W/D hit me bad after a few weeks off my medicine.

2014/August: 12 months off (much improved)

2015/April: 20months off. ( much improved, still some symtoms comes in waves, but not so intense.)

2015/june: 22months off. FELT different than before, all shakings suddenly stopped, feel much better. a fantastic feeling!

2016/Feb : 2 years and 6 months off, END of my suffering. I feel perfectly fine and back to normal. 
2018/Oct: Iam still feeling great. It is hard to believe my own story when I read back, what I went through!

 

 

 

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Nikki

Bellisimo.....being scared seems to be the norm for most of us when getting off and on these drugs.  Everyone experiences it.

 

Physical symptoms don't really bother me that much.  It is the emotional/mental stuff that scares me.  You had to satisfy your questions on what you were feeling by going and getting tests.  It does not make you a hypochondriac.  It makes you normal and concerned for your own well being.

 

You are trying to care for yourself.  And you are doing the best you can.....

 

Would it help you to know that we all get scared.

 

Hugs


Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Altostrata

Do you have health anxiety? What are good ways to deal with it?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Wildflower0214

I don't think it would be a relief to know if something is wrong. Because even if it is, WD has made me so sick I couldn't even be treated for it. I can't even add food.

 

So, I chose not to get tested for anything. I can't handle it if there is something wrong, especially when I can't take supplements or adjust my diet, let alone take any new med. That is basically how I deal with it... I choose not to engage with that line of thinking right now because I recognize my inability to handle it.

 

To me, all the testing and anxiety that comes with it seems pretty pointless at this juncture. I would never discourage anyone who feels it may help to know if there is some underlying issue. But, I believe it to be the right decision for me to postpone such inquiry until a later date.


2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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Marta

I have health anxiety sometimes. Internet is the trigger. Usually I let myself search everything all horrible deseases until the fear passes...it will calm down naturally when you look for 10 deases at the end you ricognize that you can't have all.


Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can SURVIVE!06/2012 - 02/2015 CIPRALEX 10mg (for master degree last year deep stress and abdominal pain somatization) 02/2015 - 04/2015 tapering from 10mg to 0mg for 4/3 weeks FREE feeling totally "normal" then SUDDENLYnever-had-before huge anxiety, burning skin sensation, painc, fear, not able to cry, never-had-before insomnia, totally lost appetite, little loss of vision in one eye, sweating, chest pain, short breath, restlessness, accelerated heartbeat for ONE MONTH ZERO IMPROVEMENT30/05/2015 CAN'T bear anymore => reinstated 8mg 06/2015 same symptoms (my GP gave me also benzo for anxiety but I threw them away) 07/2015 same, few tiny improvemets 08/2015 general improving + trying a phosphate supplement (LOW dose) 09/2015 quite stable (supplement finished, no effect) 10/2015 start tapering 7mg 11/2015 6mg 12/2015 5mg 1/2016 4mg 2/2016 4mg 3/2016 3mg (hopefully) ->fail back to 4mg AGAIN....8/2016 3mg stable<p>

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Theon

I used to have health anxiety, it was one of the reasons why I was put on prozac. 

 

Now I am too numb emotionally to have health anxiety lol

 

I used to cope with it with exercising and avoiding to look stuff on the internet


About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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Altostrata

Added Admin Note to post #1.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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LoveandLight

Aww Theon lol well it worked in a way didn't it..?

 

Not minimising your pain..it's just these drugs are like sledgehammers!


2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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Theon

Aww Theon lol well it worked in a way didn't it..?

 

Not minimising your pain..it's just these drugs are like sledgehammers!

 

Yes, it worked quite well for my health anxiety ... by numbing all my emotions and taking away part of my personality... probably what it is supposed to do.


About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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Theon

A thought that I wanted to post here is that the opinions of people with health anxiety are turned down very very easily by saying that it is part of your health anxiety.

 

What I mean is, as an ex-sufferer from health anxiety (before prozac took my emotions away), I used to worry really a lot about the prozac that I was prescribed, but my therapist always told me that those worries were induced by my anxiety and that they were not true... well, they turned out to be true at the end... 


About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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Serenity23

Hi John, I think there is an element of autonomic disruption in both depression and withdrawal, and that it is the elevated cortisol and related hormones that contribute to this symptom pattern. I still think Unraveling CFS is a most helpful book on this.

 

I'd like to ask my doctor to test my cortisol levels because I seem to be having symptoms of adrenal insufficiency from being off Zoloft. What are the "related hormones" I should ask to test for? How is cortisol related to AD withdrawal?


Since 1990s: Various meds depression/anxiety. A little benefit from Effexor; Zoloft/Sertraline. Unsuccessful tapers

Feb 2015: Neurological crash / Hemiplegic Migraine after Sertraline taper slower than pdoc's suggestion 50-37-25-12-6-0mg.

Found SA. Reinstated 25mg Sertraline

July 2015:  Medical occurrence thought to be due to Sertraline. Told to D/C. Hypomania/anxiety resulted. Reinstated

Sept 2016: Increased to 37mg Sertraline due to depression/anxiety symptoms or more likely withdrawal symptoms

Dec 2016: Insurance company refused to fill 37mg (1 1/2 pills) Given 25mg.

2017: Started taper, got fearful of possible withdrawal effects, stopped.
May 2018: Still dealing with side effects. New pdoc. 25mg Lamictal added to 25mg Sertraline. 5 mg Melatonin added. Feeling better. Would still like to wean off Sertraline and then Lamictal, but holding for now. I have a very sensitive system with meds.

No other meds. Supplements: Multivitamin, Vitamin D, Probiotic, Fish oil.

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Meimeiquest

I would first recommend reading The Adrenal Reset Diet, about much more than diet, as it explains the limitations and issues of testing. Adrenaline is a major related hormone, and all the hormones relate to one another, like insulin, TSH, sex hormones, and neuro hormones AKA neurotransmitters.

 

Cortisol is a stress hormone, and withdrawal is a major stressor. And I still think Unraveling CFS has a lot to offer.


1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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manymoretodays

Hmmmm.......just thinking about how I deal with health related anxiety.  Pretty well I think, for now.  I do get obsessed with all the various possibilities from time to time, but they pass fairly quickly.

 

I guess I just become glad after the obsession passes.......to know what kind of things I may need to attend to in the future as far as further medical work ups, and such.

 

Oh and trust my inner voice sometimes helps.  I mean, for me, I believe I will know if there is something that needs immediate attention.  Sometimes that radar IS a little off but mostly........it's good.

 

For now.......it's a day at a time.  Sometimes an hour even.  But definitely making progress.

 

I did the whole adrenal thing for awhile......while I was still on some medication(possibly more than one) or other.  It can result in a lot of time and money invested.  It certainly was not curative of my symptoms of both W/D and psycho drug medication effects.   I based what I did on a book called "Adrenal Insufficiency" I think, forgive me........when I find it........I will post if my guess was correct or not.

 

I will look into the book you mention MQ......Unraveling CFS.......as that may be real helpful for me.

 

At this point though.......I just want to read more fiction, like I used to.........for enjoyment.  :-)

 

You should see the list of stuff.......non fiction.........that I have to pursue at this point........LOL.  I will, however, prioritize as I have been doing.  One can only do what they can at any given point.


Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Gibby

I worry about my health all the time, it takes a lot to convince me that I'm actually okay. I still get checkups every six months to monitor all my vitals and other than very slightly elevated cholesterol, everything is always perfect or near perfect. Yet still I worry. I never get sick.

 

I mostly think that any change in how I'm feeling is part of a downward spiral back into the years between 2010-2013, when I was taking zopiclone every night and felt bad almost every day. Even right now I'm worried that I need to updose something just because I've had bad sleep a few nights in a row. Someone like me never wants to be right about what they are worrying about!


-Started on Citalopram 20mg & Zopiclone 7.5mg in August 2010

-Given olanzapine 2.5mg due to not sleeping through the night with zopiclone

-Went up to 40mg Citalopram sometime in 2011 after disastrous flirtation with Wellbutrin

-Tapered off zopiclone by January 2013 (take as PRN sometimes)

-Went up to 5mg olanzapine for one day due to a weird crash in June 2013, could not taper down past 1.85mg subsequent to that

-Latest CT of olanzapine Aug 31st-September 4th 2015, went back on, re-evaluating everything

-Late Nov 2015: Dropped from 5ml liquid citalopram to 4.875ml. 

-Jan 10/2016: Back up to full dose of citalopram. Not tapering anything at the moment

-Jan 2018: Cut to 1.8mg of olanzapine from 1.825

-Mid-August 2018: Cut from 1.8mg olanzapine to 1.76mg. Probably withdrawal symptoms emerged about ten days later. 

 

 

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pocketnurse

I am totally with the health anxiety thing here and believe it or not being a nurse doesn't make it any easier. It stems I think from coming to terms with being hurt by people who are supposed to help you heal and get better. This won't have been the intention but that doesn't make it any easier.

 

I am open to many complimentary and alternative practices as I now believe that the medical profession is too far up it's own a$*e to see that damage is being caused. 

 

I do firmly believe that in the not too distant future the tide will turn and medicine will see the error of it's ways with regards to psychiatric medicine just think Thalidomide, hailed as a wonder drug in the 60's but what a legacy it left behind.


1995-1998 various SSRIs then withdrawal

2000 Sertraline

2003 Sertraline then changed to Prozac to attempt withdrawal.

2004 failed at withdrawal so Citalopram.

2010 attempted slow withdrawal over 12 months but failed- sever episode depression 2012

2012 3 days of Mirtazepine with bad reaction so started escitalopram 20mgs

2013 started very very slow taper with a number of slight reinstatements

Currently on between 0.5 and 1mg escitalopram drops at day.

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Serenity23

I do firmly believe that in the not too distant future the tide will turn and medicine will see the error of it's ways with regards to psychiatric medicine just think Thalidomide, hailed as a wonder drug in the 60's but what a legacy it left behind.

 

Thalidomide, and the similar mess of the drug DES (Diethylstilbestrol), which was advertised as the "wonder drug" for pregnant mothers and left the children with a host of medical problems including infertility, miscarriages, cancer, etc. If I remember correctly, the DES offspring have a slightly higher occurrence of depression/anxiety as well.


Since 1990s: Various meds depression/anxiety. A little benefit from Effexor; Zoloft/Sertraline. Unsuccessful tapers

Feb 2015: Neurological crash / Hemiplegic Migraine after Sertraline taper slower than pdoc's suggestion 50-37-25-12-6-0mg.

Found SA. Reinstated 25mg Sertraline

July 2015:  Medical occurrence thought to be due to Sertraline. Told to D/C. Hypomania/anxiety resulted. Reinstated

Sept 2016: Increased to 37mg Sertraline due to depression/anxiety symptoms or more likely withdrawal symptoms

Dec 2016: Insurance company refused to fill 37mg (1 1/2 pills) Given 25mg.

2017: Started taper, got fearful of possible withdrawal effects, stopped.
May 2018: Still dealing with side effects. New pdoc. 25mg Lamictal added to 25mg Sertraline. 5 mg Melatonin added. Feeling better. Would still like to wean off Sertraline and then Lamictal, but holding for now. I have a very sensitive system with meds.

No other meds. Supplements: Multivitamin, Vitamin D, Probiotic, Fish oil.

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antidepressantsNoMore

I've experienced all forms of anxiety: social, ocd, health, generalized. Anxiety is a ***** to deal with. WD made anxiety 10 times worse no doubt. It is a shame there isn't more knowledge about anti-depressant wd. The doctors say they know the long term use of a lot of ssri's but know barely anything about the long term effects of stopping them.


2 Years free of w/d.

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HopeforBetter1110

Can this also be in regard to mental disorders and not just physical symptoms? I obsess and lose sleep over thinking I have certain severe mental pathologies and am triggered when I see certain words.


Last taper was off of Lamictal (Lamotrigine): Started drop from 225 mg in April 2014 by going down 25 mg every 2 weeks. Then to 12.5 mg every 3 weeks. Then 10 mg every 3 weeks. Then 5 mg after 3.5 weeks. (using the chewable, dispersible pills) I had gone down to 30 mg, but was far too sick and went back up to 35. I then dropped back down to 30 mg, then 1 mg drops until 25 mg. Dropped off completely at 25 mg because the symptoms from taking the pills were becoming more unbearable than the withdrawal at times. Completely off as of 5/11/15. Update 10/28/15: Reinstated 0.0625 mg, meant to take 0.25, measured wrong. Only took 2 days.

I've gotten off of: Abilify, PRN Klonopin (0.5-1 mg) - no taper as took it infrequently, and Effexor (300 mg). Abilify and Effexor were rapid tapers around the beginning of 2014. After tapering Effexor and Abilify I tried taking Remeron and Topamax for a short time with very bad side effects. (I have taken numerous psych drugs over the years (starting in my early teens), but these were the ones I was on when getting off completely).

On 2/9/15, received a Promethazine injection for nausea, which caused pain, numbness, burning, shooting pain and was prescribed pain meds (made me sick and didn't help), 5 days of Prednisone, and some sort of anti-inflammatory. I had been doing somewhat better with Lamictal taper until this point.

Current Supplements: Omega-3 with Co Q-10: 1000 mg x 2, Vitamin C with Bioflavonoids and Rose Hips: 500 mg x 2, Multivitamin, Vitamin D, Probiotics

 

Dx: Asperger Syndrome (originally misdiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD), GAD, and PTSD

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Roxyrich

As scared as I am, mostly the physical symptoms seem less scary than the mental ones.

I feel bad today but my anxiety seems to run away, and I really have to distract myself to calm it down,and even though I know it's wd I can't help thinking when this is over,a lot of symptoms will remain.

I know someone with experience will shake their head and mutter the phrase, wd,it's wd.

I hope so.


Opiates 18 months 2010 to 2012

Prozac 12 months 2012 to 2013

Prozac 7 doses of prozac late November 2015.

Adverse reaction on the 7th dose.

Stopped cold turkey on the last week in November 2015.

Immediately suffering from acute w/d.

Severe insomnia, anxiety, burning head.

Doctor prescribed propranolol for anxiety, adrenaline rushes.

 

Propranolol 10mg 4× a day.

Nearly 3 months after reaction, new symptoms include,

Awful insomnia,burning head.waves of depression and suicide ideation.

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crhawk

Health anxiety is what got me into this mess.  Every ache and pain, I was convinced it was cancer.  It is a miracle I can even say the word.  I used to not even be able to say the word cancer or type it.  If a commercial came on tv related to it, I instantly got anxiety.  So I guess that is an improvement. 

 

For some reason, ever since having my daughter 9 years ago, that anxiety and worry all ramped up heavily.  I think it is the realization that we are mortal.  We worry about our kids, our own lives and well being to care for them.

 

I began having real health issues almost immediately after she was born and that did not help.  It literally went from one to the other.  As soon as I figured one out and it got treated, literally another would immediately start.  In March of 2014, while sitting in my office chair at work, I got a horrible pain near my shoulder blade.  Tried walking it off, had my husband come from work to try and rub it out...it was terrible pain.  And never let up.  My doc did an EKG and chest xray.  Both were fine. I kept being told it was muscular.  I wanted MRI's, did not want the CT because I had already had about 4 of them in the previous 3 years due to my other health problems, and was worried about the radiation. More health anxiety.  Anyway, finally got approved for a thoracic MRI while pregnant with my second child.  It showed nothing other than a couple minor disc bulges.  I was sure the pain was caused by something serious.  Since then, the pain has also moved up into my head and neck and caused unbearable occipital neuralgia.  I have had nerve blocks in my head (only thing that has helped, but short term only), epidural injections in my spine, PT for a year, chiro, massage...nothing has helped.  I have since had a cervical MRI (another minor bulge), brain and head MRI, and finally gave into the chest CT when I was convinced it was something in my chest or chest wall/muscles.  Nothing showed up.

 

However, before the CT scan, I was desperate and STUPIDLY as usually, went online to do my own "research"...I found something called a pancoast tumor that sounded EXACTLY like what I had been experiencing...like word for word.  I was convinced this is what it was, and went into a complete anxiety attack.  Nothing could calm me. Of course this was at night, as it usually is, and I'm sure you can all relate to that.

 

Anyway, so there I go and head to the ER...around midnight, by myself.  Of course my pain has ramped up hugely by this point as well.  Husband had to stay home with the kids, parents in bed.  All I wanted was imaging to determine if this was going on.  All the stupid PA would give me was a shoulder xray.  I told him about my tumor concern and he said I'd have to get a CT or MRI from my doctor.  He gave me a pain killer, which did not help much.  So, the a****** decided to give me a shot of Haldol (with "off-label use for pain"). 

 

Dystonic reaction from the haldol...absolute HELL...somewhat recovered from that, then my regular doc thought Zoloft might be a good idea to help with my health anxiety and my worries about this dystonic reaction experience.  One 50 mg pill and I was back in HELL....this hell has continued for over 4 months now. 

 

Now all my concerns, maybe even obsessions, are dealing with the adverse reaction hell.  I'm convinced this is permanent...after all, Haldol has actually killed people.  It has crippled people.  I have to come here for hope.  My parents want me to run the gamut with blood tests and an EEG.  But I know it will show nothing, and I can take no medications, so what's the point.  I know it is 100% from the meds because that is where it began.  So now I find myself looking up things online about this mental issue.  It is far worse than anything I have experienced physically.  I still have the pain in my back/side and now I am unable to even take the occasional pain med to help with that.  Can't even take Ibuprofen.  But I rarely worry about that any longer, because now I have this to worry about.  WHY IS IT ALWAYS SOMETHING???

 

So even though I believe it was a completely incompetent ER PA that REALLY caused this...if I could have just chilled the hell out and stopped panicking, I'd maybe never be here.

 

I need to completely change my way of thinking.  I know that having these worries is bad for our health.  I just don't know how to change it.  I'm going to try acupuncture, hypnotherapy and start meditating more regularly.  Maybe try to read some books, although reading is incredibly difficult for me anymore. 


History of Wellbutrin, Neurontin, Buspar, Paxil and others in 1990's - teenage years

Xanax .5 mg as needed 2010-2015

One injection of Haldol in ER 10/9/2015 - dystonic reaction (ongoing issues)

One 50 mg pill Zoloft 10/31/15 adverse reaction/s that are ongoing

Xanax .125 mg every 3 hours as needed, .25 mg at bedtime 1/8/16-1/21/16Xanax .25 mg every 3 hours (1.25 mg/day) 1/22/16 - 2/9/16Xanax .25 mg/5 times a day (1.25 mg/day) starting 2/10/16, then tried 6 times/day (2x.25, 4x.1875)Xanax .25 mg/6 times a day (1.5 mg/day) starting 2/19/16

Tapering off of Xanax, switching to Diazepam, starting June 29, 2016, then starting taper soon there after

Completed Xanax taper early Sept 2016, crossover to 20 mg/day Diazepam

Currently at 2 mg Diazepam/day = 1 mg bedtime, 1 mg morning

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Kittygiggles

Hi everyone,


 


I was requested kindly by a moderator to reproduce my post on a thread here. I've edited it only slightly as I've had time to reread it. I also want to direct people prone to health anxiety to a useful book, which challenges sufferers to embrace the scary things that really worry them, like death, serious illness, and the uncertainty of health (Overcoming Health Anxiety: A Self-Help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques (Overcoming Books) Paperback – November 26, 2009):- 


 


 


Here's my largely unedited post: 


 


"I am not a clinical psychologist or licensed CBT practitioner. However, I am a sufferer (albeit recovering) of health anxiety. I suspect you have health anxiety and tackling it will make everything easier to deal with. Earlier in your thread you said 


 


"I know I think about things obsessively." Health anxiety overlaps with OCD a great deal, it is a form of obsession. Understandably but in common with OCD, you are seeking reassurance that your health is okay. Seeking reassurance feels great when you receive it but it is addictive and actually makes health anxiety worse. It is okay to check important symptoms with a doctor but health anxiety makes it almost impossible to discern what is worth troubling yourself and a doctor with and what isn't. 


 


You need to recognize anxiety as something that leads to panic, and whilst both of them feel like they are continuous, they do actually end after a predictable period. When you are anxious or panic, it lasts up to roughly an hour, often 15 to 45 minutes. These numbers aren't that important and are probably not particularly accurate (but they are not wildly inaccurate either), what is important is that once you come down from a panic or anxiety episode, your faulty obsessive thinking kickstarts another episode straight after it. Being in this state repeatedly is exhausting, as I am sure anyone reading this will agree with. Being anxious or panicking is so tiring physiologically but also psychologically, which makes breaking free of it difficult.


 


If you break the cycle just once, you will feel better immediately! Learning to recognize when you are anxious and quelling it with breathing and calming exercises, as well as rational cognition, will fix health anxiety permanently. Each time you break the cycle, you get better at it until it becomes second nature. The goal of this is to feel serenity in the face of uncertainty about your frightening symptoms. 


 


You also said in your thread:


 


"This is more than health anxiety." Don't underestimate health anxiety! As you probably know by now, it can be terrifying, leading to panic and thoughts that you are about to go crazy, lose consciousness, or die. Usually, when you have severe health anxiety, the last thing on your mind is that you have it, instead you're preoccupied with the fear of your symptoms. These symptoms are real to the sufferer but non-sufferers often fail to appreciate that, preferring to dismiss health anxiety as trivial and often using the old moniker of hypochondriasis to describe it.


 


You should always see a doctor if you have symptoms that are inexplicable and could be serious. However, next time you go to the doctor with any symptom that worries you try to take notes (yes by writing them down) of how you felt before the appointment, during it, then afterwards. You should notice that your anxiety and/or panic levels fluctuate. This is your first clue that your problem could just be health anxiety and not a symptom that you need to worry about excessively.


 


The goal is not to stop you seeing a doctor or researching data from reputable sources about your symptoms, which you should whenever you think it is justified. The first step is to get you to make, wait for, and attend appointments calmly, having eliminated your anxiety: this will give you clarity during your appointments and in some cases, make you realize that an appointment may not be necessary. You can always cancel them if you find a symptom has diminished or isn't as serious as you thought. The same applies to researching symptoms: do so when you are calm and reacting not from anxiety but out of rational curiosity. Eventually, you'll be like most people: making occasional appointments calmly, without anxiety driving any aspect of your decision. You will be able to manage your symptoms and avoid the horrors of a relentless panic spiral. 


 


Recovering from health anxiety takes time and work, but the CBT that treats it starts working immediately. I am not 100% yet (I'd say about 90%) but I am so much better. I have avoided so much worry and agony, as well as needless appointments with specialists and doctors, and hundreds of hours of researching symptoms, thanks to health anxiety-focused CBT. Without it, withdrawal would have been impossible to get through.


 


SA has a lot of resources to help you identify symptoms that may be caused by withdrawal. Your medication will also tell you of dozens of symptoms you may encounter as you continue taking it. These are commonplace and mostly do not need medical intervention. 


 


To those overwhelmed by health anxiety and panic, even to the point of crisis, as I have been, I recommend the abovementioned book, a licensed and reputable CBT practicioner, and/or this crisis website: "No Panic" (https://www.nopanic....k/panic-attack/). Withdrawal sufferers have enough to deal with, we don't need health anxiety making our life harder! 


 


I hope you all feel better soon and I hope I made some sense  :)"



2012: 2 weeks of paroxetine, I cannot recall the dose. Strong side effects, stopped cold turkey, had intense, horrible withdrawal thereafter

2012 to 2016: Fluoxetine 40mg daily, sometimes 20mg daily, a couple of bad tapers under doctor's advisement, increasingly bad withdrawal symptoms with each major dose change

Oct 2016 to June 2017: 10-month reinstatement of 20mg fluoxetine daily to stabilize. A very difficult period but withdrawal gradually improved

July 2017: At 20mg (100%), started a linear tapering regimen using water titration (20mg fluoxetine into 300ml of water).

June 2019: Currently at 0.200mg (1.00%). I have many symptoms, most I attribute to fluoxetine, some to withdrawal, and the rest to hypothyroidism. Continuing to reduce anyway.

July 2019: Jumped from 0.066mg (0.33%) to 0.000mg (0.00%); I'm now free of the poison.

 

My introduction thread: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/14226-kittygiggles-generic-prozac-fluoxetine-stabilization/

 

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StuckOnMeds

Don't underestimate health anxiety! As you probably know by now, it can be terrifying, leading to panic and thoughts that you are about to go crazy, lose consciousness, or die. Usually, when you have severe health anxiety, the last thing on your mind is that you have it, instead you're preoccupied with the fear of your symptoms. These symptoms are real to the sufferer but non-sufferers often fail to appreciate that, preferring to dismiss health anxiety as trivial and often using the old moniker of hypochondriasis to describe it.


Morning 
 Zoloft  (start ‘96 with 1 one year hiatus-present) 200 mg: ⬇️Nov 11, 17 to 150mg; ⬇️Dec 19, 17 to 100mg ⬇️Jul1, 2018 to 75mg ⬇️ Sept 17,2018 to 62.5  ⬇️May 10, 2019 to 50 mg

Wellbutrin XL (2013-2020)  mg ⬇️ January 01, 2020 to 150 mg ⬇️ February 23, 2020 to 0  🚫

• Lorazepam (2012?-2018) 0.5 mg (am) and 0.375 mg ( 3 pm): dropped 3 pm Sept 19, 17;  Mar 27, 18 dropped am dose after tapering 3 months🚫

 

Night
Clonazepam (2012?-present) 1mg ⬇️ Jul 6, 19 to .75 mg ⬆️ Jul 29, 2019 to .825 ⬆️ July 30, 2019 to 1 mg

Trazodone (2011?-present) 50 mg

 Risperidone (2013-2018)2 mg: 0.18 mg (liquid) dropped to 0 Jun 23, 18 after 3 yrs tapering🚫

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StuckOnMeds

I have never heard of this term, but I have experienced it many times. In fact it is where almost all of my anxiety comes from. It is such a cyclical pattern and can go on and on and on if you don't use some sort of tool to stop the cycle.

 

Right now, I am scared to death of withdrawal symptoms. And rest assured that I have been called a hypochondriac many many times. But withdrawal is no joke. People who haven't been through withdrawal can not possibly understand how consuming the experience can be.

 

I noticed that you mentioned CBT. I took a 9 month course in DBT, which was transformative. Now I recognize that I'm having anxiety (health anxiety) and use a variety of techniques to overcome it. I do a thing where I fake smile until I feel better. It may sound ridiculous, but it works. I also meditate and perform deep breathing exercises. There are many free guided meditations on Amazon Prime. Distraction and/or laughter can also be quite powerful. I have a list of movies that I watch for distraction and laughter. And for some reason my mind equates Seinfeld with comfort and safety. I also distract with logic games.

 

Anyway, thank you for finally putting a name to the anxiety I've had for so long!!


Morning 
 Zoloft  (start ‘96 with 1 one year hiatus-present) 200 mg: ⬇️Nov 11, 17 to 150mg; ⬇️Dec 19, 17 to 100mg ⬇️Jul1, 2018 to 75mg ⬇️ Sept 17,2018 to 62.5  ⬇️May 10, 2019 to 50 mg

Wellbutrin XL (2013-2020)  mg ⬇️ January 01, 2020 to 150 mg ⬇️ February 23, 2020 to 0  🚫

• Lorazepam (2012?-2018) 0.5 mg (am) and 0.375 mg ( 3 pm): dropped 3 pm Sept 19, 17;  Mar 27, 18 dropped am dose after tapering 3 months🚫

 

Night
Clonazepam (2012?-present) 1mg ⬇️ Jul 6, 19 to .75 mg ⬆️ Jul 29, 2019 to .825 ⬆️ July 30, 2019 to 1 mg

Trazodone (2011?-present) 50 mg

 Risperidone (2013-2018)2 mg: 0.18 mg (liquid) dropped to 0 Jun 23, 18 after 3 yrs tapering🚫

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Bobo32
On 18/03/2014 at 11:35 PM, mammaP said:

I think many of us can relate to this. The suffering is real but tests always come back fine.

It would be a  relief knowing there is something that can be fixed, or an explanation to give

people for why we are so ill. It's an awful thing to go through.

 

I found it much easier when I knew that my symptoms were caused by the drugs and withdrawal.

Just knowing that meant that I could be sick in peace on bad days and know that it will eventually

get better. It took a long time to sink in and believe it and I have Alto and this site to thank for 

teaching me.  Acceptance is the key here, once we accept that it is drugs/withdrawal  we can 

learn to ride the bad times knowing they will end.  It isn't easy, especially when there are people

to look after or a job to go to, it's a nightmare I wouldn't wish on anyone. except the pharma bosses

and shrinks of course, It would be good if every one of them had a taste of withdrawal ! 

 

So does it completely go away in the end ? I have cognitive issues since i took zyprexa and i only took it for 3 months. Is it more accurate to call it withdrawal or brain Injury ? Wish i could go back to my old self 


2004-2007 paxil

2015- zoloft 3 months zyprexa 3 months lexapro 3 months xanax

Med free since Feb 28th 2017

Mostly experiencing PSSD

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Undiagnosed1

Was looking for some insight to my situation, In 2015 I got sjs from an antibiotic "bactrum" it was horrible

looked like I had walked through a house fire. Icu, burn unit the whole 9 yards

 

Went a year after recovery from that and thought I had no issues. Then was bitten by a black widow at work caused convulsions and ruptured a hernia.

 

Started having panic attacks and you know where this goes....

 

Now I know I was suffering from health anxiety. 

 

I'm off all meds and feel like I'm starting to level out. 

 

But of course I'm still struggling with health anxiety except now it's to the max 

Due to horrible withdrawal I put myself through. 

 

The health anxiety is a major hurdle for me. The self awareness is terrible, every twinge, itch of dry skin, headache, stomach pain etc makes me focus on myself.

 

I'm just looking for some support or tips

Someone to talk to who's also experienced this and maybe we could support one another.

 


december 25th 2016 gabapentin 900mg 1500mg increased january 5th 2017 between may and june decreased from 1500 mg to 700 mg 

december 25th 2016 remeron 15mg 2 week taper stopped febuary 26th withdrawal leveled out in may 

december 27th 2016 coreg 12.5mg x2 a day

december 28th 2016 trazodone 100mg january 6th 75mg january 8th 50mg january 10th 25mg january 15th 37.5mg june 12th 25 mg 

hydroxyzine 25 mg prn 

colozopam .5 only taken .25 in two moths 

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SkyBlue

Hi everyone,

 

One thing I've found useful, instead of the black-and-white "I'll never google symptoms again" is to tell someone (for ex., my therapist)

that I'm not going to health-google for 48 hours, or over the weekend, or a more manageable time period. 

 

 


Current: 2019: 0.04 mg Paxil!! This is real. Soon, after taking Paxil my entire adult life, I will be free.

Long story short: After 18 years on Paxil, "tapered" almost completely off over a month, at doctor's advice in July 2015.

Self-care includes magnesium, reasonable exercise, mindfulness, this forum and nutrition/eating enough food.

Also on 100 mg Zoloft unfortunately!! (which I now will have the knowledge to taper properly)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Longer version: On Paxil since 1996--anxiety & depression caused by (undiagnosed) under-eating / eating disorder.

Doctor kept increasing dose, up to 60 mg; it never really helped but said it really was the best "med" for me.

Rapid doctor-led "taper" July 2015, down to 5 mg, with Zoloft as a "cross-taper" = Essentially a cold turkey. 

Severe withdrawal but didn't know it; believed it was my "underlying condition," and kept tapering, 5mg to 4 to 3  to 2 to 1.  

Feb 2016: Found SA! As of June 2016, tapering from 1mg at rate of 5-10% per month, Brassmonkey Slide! 

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xyz

the first time i withdrew from benzo, i had health anxiety and went into panic attack, i thought i had breast cancer, then ovarian cancer, then glaucoma, then bone cancer, then meningitis, then MS.

i had all the tests done, repeated them 3x, googled some more, then went into a panic attack where i didn't sleep for a full week and was put back on benzo again.

 

and frankly my withdrawal this second time was so bad that i wished i were dead at time.

i am way much better now but this has thickened me, when i have physical weird thing going on, i tell myself it is all withdrawal. and it is.

 

death doesn't seem as scary now.

and i don't google symptoms anymore. i know them well enough by now.

 

 


june 2014 to feb  2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of  intrusive Tinnitus

april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg

june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg

oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold

march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily

may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably

LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19

LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19

April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro

 

 

 

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lalala
On 7/13/2017 at 7:47 PM, Bobo32 said:

 

So does it completely go away in the end ? I have cognitive issues since i took zyprexa and i only took it for 3 months. Is it more accurate to call it withdrawal or brain Injury ? Wish i could go back to my old self 

Is it hard to  get of xanax when used in withdrawal im  panicking about taking benzos but i need them 


2007-2016 citalopram 20mg -40mg

tappered and discontinued all of oct 2016 6 month taper  (wd symptom  insomnia and some ocd anxiety)

Nov.2016 -May 2017 cipralex 20mg

June-Sept 2017  xanax 0.25- 0.50mg   3 times a week

June 2017- Sept. 25.2017  Paxil  20mg - last week was 30mg bc of drug feeling reaction

Sept 27 - Oct 12 2017 Fluxatine 20mg

discontinuation Oct 13-18th 2017 withdrawal  from paxil and fluxatine

Reinstated Oct 19- 23 Fluxtine 10mg, Oct 24- 2 2017 Fluxatine 5mg,  Nov 2-19 2017   Fluxatine 10mg Dec-Jan 4 2018 Fluxatine 20mg, Reinstated Feb 18 2018  fluxatine 1mg, didnt work  June 6  Celexa  5mg than 10mg, June 3 Klonopin  .5 - 1mg,    june 11 oxazepam 5-10mg,   zopiclone in june  7.5mg  on and off,    June 24 reduced  to  5mg Celexa 

Nov. 20 2018 titration k  0.02mg reduction from 0.5- 0.380mg,  Nov.  25 2018  mourol 1 dose for cystitis

March started Brassmonkey method   0.30 k   current 0.28 k

celexa 5mg

 

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