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WinningThrough: Does it get better?


WinningThrough

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Does the sertraline rev you up or make you sleepy?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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It makes me sleepy. I've been more exhausted in the last few weeks than I've ever been in my life. It's a weird combination of feeling drugged up, wiped out and still having horrible inner restlessness, but being too exhausted to pace. Citalopram used to make me feel wired but sertraline is the opposite.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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aww so sorry for you to go through this :(

 

But look at me, i took citalopram for like 6 years and i quit, and as u know as u read my story im soo much better now.

Its so hard and so painful to go through this but its the only way, sadly .. time is the key

 and im soo sure you will be ok also, just hang in there, the things u go thru we all did and do its very common, this athathsia almost killed me, really i used to have it soo often too .. BUT its not often now, trust me iut will also go away

2007 - 2013: was on citalopram (tried to quit a few times, never worked, always went back on. max dose 40mg)

2012-2013: was tapering my citalopram all down to 2,5 mg then quit.
2013/aug: Took  my last pill 

W/D hit me bad after a few weeks off my medicine.

2014/August: 12 months off (much improved)

2015/April: 20months off. ( much improved, still some symtoms comes in waves, but not so intense.)

2015/june: 22months off. FELT different than before, all shakings suddenly stopped, feel much better. a fantastic feeling!

2016/Feb : 2 years and 6 months off, END of my suffering. I feel perfectly fine and back to normal. 
2018/Oct: Iam still feeling great. It is hard to believe my own story when I read back, what I went through!

 

 

 

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Ah, thanks Bellisimo. It really helps to know how well you are doing and how things are turning around for you.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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Day 12 of reinstatement at 1mg. Things have been up & down. Spent Monday & Tuesday in bed. Usual crying spells etc. Yesterday was better. Got up and drove to a friend's house, locally. Spent a few hours there and saw her children. Managed to laugh a few times. Didn't have the crippling exhaustion.

 

Today, fought off a crying spell. Just don't want to give in to it! Tired but not as exhausted. Easier to move my eyes. Still zapping but they may be a little less intense.

 

Feel like someone got a giant eraser and wiped out all the happiness and creativity from my head. Am going to start visualising happiness and creativity being put back into my head. Going to start visualising myself healed.

 

Feel worthless and useless. I used to be there for everyone & now, I can barely do anything. Enough of the self pity, Winning Through.

 

Sticking to the no gluten, no dairy and no sugar diet. Have started listening to a CD with positive subliminal messages. Have put myself on two distant healing lists. Am lucky enough to get 6-7 hours of sleep a night. I am very lucky in that respect.

 

This is the acute stage. It will get better.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Yes, it will.

 

Reinstatement at a very low dose will cushion the worst of the withdrawal, but you still have to go through it.

 

And there will be many ups and downs along the way. That's completely normal. Worse days and better days, worse weeks and better weeks. Just keep walking through it and taking care of yourself. You're doing great.

 

Eventually the better times will be more often and last longer, and the worse times will come less often and be shorter, and you will find that gradually you realize you're feeling better and better more and more, and you will emerge. 

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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aw im so sorry for you and yes i know the akathisia , how bad it is :( Hugs!

2007 - 2013: was on citalopram (tried to quit a few times, never worked, always went back on. max dose 40mg)

2012-2013: was tapering my citalopram all down to 2,5 mg then quit.
2013/aug: Took  my last pill 

W/D hit me bad after a few weeks off my medicine.

2014/August: 12 months off (much improved)

2015/April: 20months off. ( much improved, still some symtoms comes in waves, but not so intense.)

2015/june: 22months off. FELT different than before, all shakings suddenly stopped, feel much better. a fantastic feeling!

2016/Feb : 2 years and 6 months off, END of my suffering. I feel perfectly fine and back to normal. 
2018/Oct: Iam still feeling great. It is hard to believe my own story when I read back, what I went through!

 

 

 

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Thank you Rhi and Bellisimo. You're keeping me going x

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello Winning Through,

 

I've wanted to write on your thread many times already but just found myself too exhausted. Now it's rather late again but I'd at least like to say hi on this occasion. I was particularly touched by your post where you shared how low you were feeling and felt bad about burdening us. I of course totally shared the sentiment of the others that we are actually honoured to be entrusted with your genuine feelings.

 

I also wanted to add that we were writing some time ago, I think on Petu's thread, that this is not a facebook (thankfully) but a place which allows us to be genuine and avoid labeling natural human experiences as negative just because they don't agree with the command of the times to be "happy" at all times and hide our true feelings.

 

I hope you are feeling at least a bit better, at least occasionally.

 

best,

bubble

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Thank you, Bubble! That's really lovely and means a lot to me. :-)

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm really glad I've finally made it :)))

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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To updose or to not updose. That is the question.

 

A while ago I reinstated at 5mg, a miscalculation (I'd wanted to do 2mg). Thing is, it did help the brain zaps and exhaustion. But, I backed off because of the rapidly building adrenaline rushes, fast heartbeat, chest tightness etc and a horrible symptom returning that I just can't talk about here. But it's one I couldn't accept. My mood was also worse and my terrors were worse.

 

So now I'm on 1mg..been on this about 2.5 weeks. Spend most days in bed beyond exhausted but unable to sleep, still getting crying spells, internal shaking, still constantly having to move my legs, too scared to do simple things like get dressed etc etc. I had a better day on Monday when I was able to get up and go out. Had this last Wednesday too. I get odd days..on these I'm a 2 out of 10 compared to the usual 0 out of 10. This is pretty much how I was when I came off the sertraline and was on nothing except that my mood is worse and the terror is worse. My mood and terror were worse on 5 mg too. On nothing I was able to go out some days. I'm SO sensitive to ssris.

 

Sorry for the negativity. I'm trying to do whats best but I'm just not sure what that is! Sticking to the 1mg and keeping the diet clean. Not sure what else to do. I guess I have to just keep pushing through. Wish I could get a few minutes relief.

 

There is no easy answer at this stage. I have a feeling that whatever I do, I'm going to have to go through this. Thanks for listening.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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Hi WT, I am so sorry for all your troubles. I have been reading some about orthomolecular medicine, I don't know if that would interest you. I thought of you because they believe the people who have the strong adverse reactions are what they call "overmethylators." Their videos don't have a lot of specific information on treatment dosages, but if you want to check them out, they are at mensahmedical.com in the resources section, or you can google Walsh Institute. I can't recommend this approach, I am just looking into it because I am so tired of all this.

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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Hi Meimeiquest

 

Thank you for your kind reply. The orthomolecular medicine sounds interesting and I'm definitely going to look into it.

 

I don't know your story but I'm going to read it now.

 

Thank you.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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Hi WT, I wanted to say hello. I have got nothing profoung in my head right now...so just saying hello and sending hugs across the Channel.

Put on trazadone for 8 weeks. Psychic akathisia started on 100 mg. Not a single doctor believed me telling me it is all anxiety in my head. Terrible suicidal urges. Got voluntary hospitalised. Acknoledged adverse reaction, put me off cold turkey. Instalated mirtazapine to block the reaction of trazadone. 5 weeks on mirtazapine.acathisia worsened, suicidal, homicidal urges. Nobody believed. Finally they stopped mirtazapine cold turkey. My heighest dose of trazadone was 200 mg, of mirtazapine 30 mg. Since the c/t, suicidal, acathisia continuing.

tried promethazine for sleep. Tried atarax. Currently taking klonopin for 10 days. Good for sleep, but my condition worsening. Unable to tell if it is klonopin or a bad wave.

In the former hospital i took twice gabapentin. It should be all my medication.

i was offered promethazin for sleep 25 mg and also small amount of quetiapine. Both are antipsychotics, even if ptomethszin very weak. Terribly afraid.

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Thanks WH :-) How are you feeling?

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi WT--

 

If I recall correctly you are extremely sensitive to the drug, getting bad symptoms from taking it, is that correct? So you're sort of between a rock and a hard place as far as dosages are concerned.

 

You could try a small updose if you want to see if that will help a bit, to say 1.5 mg or so. However, I suspect even if it does help a bit, you'll end up back here after a while. The small reinstatement does cushion the worst of the withdrawal (yes, it can be worse than this) but it doesn't prevent it. 

 

If you do updose a wee bit, don't change your mind if you feel worse tomorrow and go back down. The fluctuation in doses will just make things worse.  And symptoms really do sort of just come and go regardless of dosages, so reacting to them every time is pointless and does more harm than good. Best to just commit to a course and stick with it, or if you make changes make them small and gradual and very slow.

 

I'd say either go with a very small updose or hang in there and stick it out.  Reread the section on "waves and windows", keep getting support here and anywhere you can in your life, and read over our Symptoms and Self Care section for suggestions on coping with symptoms. Unfortunately there's not an easy fix.

 

I'm so sorry for your suffering. I'm glad you found us, though.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Thanks Rhi :-) I thought I'd wait and see what you said. I will stick at the 1mg. You're right..even with updosing, I'll likely end up back here and I think updosing will just stress me out.

 

Today's been one of those bad days.

 

I guess I'm getting sort of waves and windows. Getting out on Monday and last Wednesday probably meant I was getting small windows which has got to be really good. I'm only 8 weeks out so even tiny windows is a good sign. And my eye is feeling a little better than it was so I think healing is happening. I need to look at the positives and there are some.

 

Thanks again :-)

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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  • Administrator

What is your daily symptom pattern? And when do you take any drugs?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi WT,

 

I just read through your whole thread to try and get a clearer picture of what might be going on.  The main things which stood out were that your problems started with a bad reaction to augmentin, it caused akathisia which was misdiagnosed as anxiety/depression, and you were then started on Citalopram, which you also reacted badly too. 

 

From there, more and more psyche drugs were tried, in increasingly large doses, which were causing more and more harm.

 

As Alto noted, early in your thread, you are probably one of a minority of people who have bad reactions to SSRIs and should never take them.  My guess it that you are probably sensitive to a lot of medications.

 

Its really difficult to tell if what you are going through now is a continued adverse effect, or withdrawal.  But from what I read, it seems that your reinstatement hasn't helped, not in any obvious way and given the fact that you are so sensitive to these drugs, I think you will heal faster on the lowest dose possible or none at all.

 

It might help to read back through your thread and see if you come to the same conclusion as me.  I'm happy that you decided to stick with the 1mg for now because it also seems that your nervous system reacts badly to changes in dosage too.

 

No matter what you do, you are going to experience windows and waves of symptoms as you recover.  As someone else mentioned, you are in a bit of a rock and hard place situation, but my sense is that you will do better once you are completely off these drugs and if it were me, I would be heading in that direction rather than thinking about taking more.  It still may take a while for you to recover, but you will.  Then perhaps you could explore the area of medicine Meimei mentioned and learn about your own individual biochemistry and unique reactions to some drugs.  Its a complex subject though and very new.

 

I hope you keep getting more and more of the better days, keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

 

Petu.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Link to comment

What is your daily symptom pattern? And when do you take any drugs?

Hi Alto :-)

 

Drugs: sertraline 0.5mg 10am, 0.5mg 10pm

 

Supplements: morning - omega 3, magnesium, vitamin e, afternoon - omega 3, bedtime - omega 3, magnesium, vitamin e

 

Symptom pattern:

 

Wake up with internal shaking and suicidal ideation. Have to move my legs around. These things all last until I go to sleep at bedtime. Get a hot flash and all over sweats. Get out of bed, feel dizzy then get hit with loads of brain zaps. I can still bring the zaps on by moving my eye although I think that may be improving slightly. I am still getting the zaps all day. Not sure but they may be decreasing in intensity.

 

Some mornings, I get an instant crying spell, some I don't. I can get hit with crying spells at any point of the day.

 

Some days, the eye pressure and inability to focus are worse than others. The last couple of days they havent been so bad. The sweats are improving. I don't have the extreme thirst I had.

 

I still have sinus problems and clicking and popping sounds in my head and eye.

 

My vision is blurry.

 

Most days the exhaustion is profound but I can't sleep during the day. On occasional days, my energy is better. Windows?

 

I feel extremely weak.

 

Although I don't have a visible tremor (my tremor was terrible on the higher doses), my hands always feel shaky when I use them.

 

Everything is still like climbing everest after eight months. I still feel terror for no reason, I still have the extreme inner turmoil (akathisia).

 

Evenings tend to be my best times, maybe because my boyfriend is home from work then.

 

I do manage to sleep at night. I never slept on citalopram but since coming off it, I've been able to sleep. I've started having the occasional nightmare the last few nights.

 

Still very cognitively impaired. Very occasionally I manage to play the piano and very occasionally now I'm able to feel emotion when I do it. I'd love to try to do more of that.

 

Thanks Alto. I hope you're coping ok.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

Link to comment

Thoughts to you. It's such a difficult battle to face day in, day out....but somehow we get through it.

 

I was wondering if you had reported these adverse effects anywhere? The amount of people who suffer adverse effects that go un-noticed or documented anywhere must be huge.

 

I can provide a couple of links if you like?

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment

Yellow Card Uk - database for adverse drug side effects.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment

Thanks Muddles. I reported my reactions in that recent survey and definitely want to report them everywhere I possibly can. I don't always have the wherewithal to do it but yes please, any links would be great.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

Link to comment

Rxisk.org

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Yep, the symptoms come and go. That seems to be the pattern for everyone, and the trick is learning to ride them out and support your healing CNS as much as possible through the process.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

Link to comment

Uff - I just wish doctors were aware of Akathisia induced by antidepressant's. I don't think most of them know it actually exists.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment

Thanks Alto. I'm on that one! I'm bry on that. It was that site that made me realise what was wrong with me. The lady who runs it is lovely.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

Link to comment

Hi WT,

 

I just read through your whole thread to try and get a clearer picture of what might be going on.  The main things which stood out were that your problems started with a bad reaction to augmentin, it caused akathisia which was misdiagnosed as anxiety/depression, and you were then started on Citalopram, which you also reacted badly too. 

 

From there, more and more psyche drugs were tried, in increasingly large doses, which were causing more and more harm.

 

As Alto noted, early in your thread, you are probably one of a minority of people who have bad reactions to SSRIs and should never take them.  My guess it that you are probably sensitive to a lot of medications.

 

Its really difficult to tell if what you are going through now is a continued adverse effect, or withdrawal.  But from what I read, it seems that your reinstatement hasn't helped, not in any obvious way and given the fact that you are so sensitive to these drugs, I think you will heal faster on the lowest dose possible or none at all.

 

It might help to read back through your thread and see if you come to the same conclusion as me.  I'm happy that you decided to stick with the 1mg for now because it also seems that your nervous system reacts badly to changes in dosage too.

 

No matter what you do, you are going to experience windows and waves of symptoms as you recover.  As someone else mentioned, you are in a bit of a rock and hard place situation, but my sense is that you will do better once you are completely off these drugs and if it were me, I would be heading in that direction rather than thinking about taking more.  It still may take a while for you to recover, but you will.  Then perhaps you could explore the area of medicine Meimei mentioned and learn about your own individual biochemistry and unique reactions to some drugs.  Its a complex subject though and very new.

 

I hope you keep getting more and more of the better days, keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

 

Petu.

Petu

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my thread. I really appreciate it.

 

I'm glad to say today I'm having one of those slightly better days. I've got dressed and am sitting on the couch which is an improvement on lying in bed in my old dressing gown, looking like I've been dragged through six mangles! May manage a walk in the garden today and a little bit of housework. I've started watching Simon's Cat videos on YouTube. I find these cheer me up.

 

On all the brilliant advice here, I've decided not to updose. I'm staying on the 1mg for now with the aim of gradually weaning off altogether over time. On these better days, I believe I will heal!

 

I'm glad to say that my eye, although far from right, has been better the last few days. My magnesium CALM powder has arrived today so I'm going to give that a try in place of my magnesium tablets.

 

Thinking of you and everyone else here.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

Link to comment

Please hang in there WT. I get some windows in between the waves. Akathisia is a challenge for me. I'm also extremely sensitive to med changes. I believe the answer for me is to continue to get off the meds not add more. Focus on the positive. I got dehydrated and went to the ER where they gave me an IV. I tried to explain to them about WD and the doctor didn't really know too much about it. Thank God for this forum so we can learn and support one another. God bless. May you continue to improve in Recovery.

Link to comment

Thanks Happy free. I've just realised that I never replied to this lovely message. Hugs.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

Link to comment

Something's occurred to me. I've been wondering why I had occasional brain zaps BEFORE I ever took any antidepressants. I had them for a few years but only for a day or two before a period when I was still having them. I put the zaps down to menopause/chronic fatigue/candida (to be honest I also had various neurological things going on for a long time which I also put down to all these things. Things like tinnitus which I've got used to, eye floaters, twitching muscles, occasional shooting nerve pains up my legs, visual disturbances, stuff like that. None of it ever bothered me too much, I just accepted it all and got on with it).

 

I've now remembered that about 15 years ago, I took a herbal remedy for candida for about 4 months. This remedy had St. John's wort in it. I don't know how much. When the four months were up, I just stopped it. I don't really remember when I had the first brain zap. I also vaguely remember taking a little bit of St. John's wort a few years ago when starting a stressful new job. I think I only took a few tablets. I don't remember much else about it.

 

Since brain zaps are usually caused by anti depressants, I'm now wondering if the St. John's wort could have caused the brain zaps. I'm not sure it's that important now, but it's an interesting thought.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

Link to comment
  • Administrator

St. Johns Wort could have caused the reaction.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

Looking at the positives..

 

Brain a lot less zappy the last couple of days

 

Eye is feeling better than it was

 

I've upped my fish oil dosage the last couple of days

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

Link to comment

Hello

 

Looking for reassurance.

 

I'm frightened. My vision is so blurred. It's suddenly got a lot worse. I managed to go out for a walk just now and everything was so blurred. I'm shocked at how quickly this has happened. The last few days it's deteriorated rapidly.

 

My rational brain is telling me that this is withdrawal. My withdrawal brain is terrified. Maybe symptoms are cycling or something. My brain zaps are still happening but I'm getting less of them. My left eye feels better..less pressure..easier to move it from side to side. Easier to open and close it. Symptoms heal only to be replaced by new ones.

 

I'm getting so frightened.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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