Addax: 30 years with Fluoxetine and tapering

[Addax]

Just a check-in. Still at 20mg/day. I was going to attempt a slow taper after not experiencing a single withdrawal symptom for over a year, and realizing a significant improvement and stabilization  in my ability to tolerate stress. However, I was hired into a new position and I know better than to attempt a taper during a time of change and associated stress.  

 

So yeah. Doing well overall and thinking that a year from now will be a good time to start tapering off the 20 mg.  

 

On on a side note, this year marks 30 years of Prozac for me. For some reason the freaks me out.

[direstraits]

happy to hear you're doing well @Addax !

hope your taper goes smoothly when you're ready.

wow,30 yrs. of Prozac,unbelievable....and they say they're not addictive!

wishing you all the best.

take good care.

ds

[Addax]

Still at 20mg. I’m in the throws of peri menopause but life is going well. I feel relatively good overall. I can cry, which is huge for me AND I have laughed out loud at things, which is huge at the other end. One of the things that startled me was when I noticed the range of emotional experience expanded.  I enjoy it immensely. 

 

I keep planning to taper again, but I’m so SO scared of the potential disruption to my life. My experience of acute withdrawal is still haunting... I’m procrastinating finding a doc that understands SSRIs and withdrawal (i moved a couple years ago)... My goodness... so much dread comes up when I think about what I went through getting from 60mg to 20mg. Intellectually I know it will be different because I know now that slower than what is typically recommended on this site can work for me and mitigate symptoms... but still... ugh.

 

In short, I function well, I feel good, but I’m not liking these damn perimenopause symptoms...

[ChessieCat]

17 minutes ago, Addax said:

I’m procrastinating finding a doc that understands SSRIs and withdrawal

 

You don't need a doctor who knows and understands withdrawal etc, you just need a doctor to prescribe your drugs.

 

It is because not many medical professionals understand about tapering and withdrawal that this site exists.

 

When you decide to start tapering you could always start with a small reduction (1% or 2%) just to prove to yourself that you won't experience what you did last time.  That way you will learn to trust the tapering process without adding stress.

[Steve61]

4 hours ago, Addax said:

Still at 20mg. I’m in the throws of peri menopause but life is going well. I feel relatively good overall. I can cry, which is huge for me AND I have laughed out loud at things, which is huge at the other end. One of the things that startled me was when I noticed the range of emotional experience expanded.  I enjoy it immensely. 

 

I keep planning to taper again, but I’m so SO scared of the potential disruption to my life. My experience of acute withdrawal is still haunting... I’m procrastinating finding a doc that understands SSRIs and withdrawal (i moved a couple years ago)... My goodness... so much dread comes up when I think about what I went through getting from 60mg to 20mg. Intellectually I know it will be different because I know now that slower than what is typically recommended on this site can work for me and mitigate symptoms... but still... ugh.

 

In short, I function well, I feel good, but I’m not liking these damn perimenopause symptoms...

I haven’t even consulted my doctor on tapering or withdrawal. I just get my repeat prescription from him and all the rest I  get from this site. I don’t think that he would have any understanding about how reducing small amount  of my ad can affect me. I don’t need him to understand, I just need the drug so that I can taper myself. 

 

It must be quite a daunting prospect to start tapering again. Good luck 🤗

[Addax]

So another check-in just over a year after my last. I cannot believe it was over 6 years ago that I had been in the throws of withdrawal and then found this forum.  the thought of that experience remains incredibly scary.  I just read the article on I wrote for risk.com ( the link if anyone is interested https://rxisk.org/antidepressant-withdrawal-a-prozac-story/)

 

The big news is that I have felt so good for so long that I have begun to taper again. I’ve also been reading research that indicates that long-term fluoxetine use appears to contribute to bone loss, so that was a motivating factor as well. 
 

I went from 20mg to 18mg almost a month ago. I think I was inspired to write today because I’ve experienced a few symptoms that are eerily similar to those I remember from the period I suffered horrendous withdrawal, albeit, SIGNIFICANTLY milder... so far, anyway. They include slight low mood, demotivating, ruminating, muscle twitching, and some vision shifting type thing.  I feel them but they are mild and tolerable. I didn’t expect to feel any symptoms this soon. I think it was 3 months after discontinuing that they started last time and in 2012, and were absolutely debilitating by the 4 month.  Perhaps is because I’m starting from a much lower dose.  I’m using a compound pharmacy, which is super easy.

 

My current plan is to do the 18mg for 90 days, then drop 1mg every 90 days until I get to 10 mg. Of course I’ll extend beyond 90 days if it feels like things get too rough.  Once I reach 10ml, I’ll examine how things are for me and either hold or continue dropping by .5mg.  
 

I am nervous as hell. The symptoms, although mild, have me feeling uneasy and questioning whether I should do this.  
 

Regarding the concern about bone loss, I’m hoping to have a dexa scan done as well as an MRI of my lower back - I have repeatedly injured my lower back over the last several years.

 

I’d like to track my progress here, again, and catch up on what has been going on with others.  
 

fingers crossed!

[direstraits]

Hi Addax, 

Good to see another old timer here. 😉

So weird that you mentioned prozac and bone loss.. I just found out I have osteoporosis in my hip and low bone density in other hip and back.

     I was reading about the connection between Ads and bone loss...scary.

If we only knew what we were getting into with these drugs.

      Well, I wish you well with your taper and your tests.

            Take care,ds.  Xx

 

 

[Rosetta]

That was a very good article.  @Addax

[Addax]

I noticed today that the muscle twitches seem to have subsided.  The low mood and demotivation seems to passing as well. Not sure about the ruminating.  It may be a window and a wave may follow, but I hope not. I’m very much hoping that things go well. I’m nervous though. My symptoms of withdrawal didn’t knock me on my ass until a few months The last times so my anticipatory distress may not pass till then. Of course, my worry that I will end up a prisoner of my couch and ruminations may stick around until 5 years after my last teeny tiny dose of fluoxetine, which won’t be for a couple years from now.  I really am hypervigilant about withdrawal symptoms. I honestly believe I experienced a post traumatic response following my experience of withdrawal in 2014/2015. 
 

One of the other differences now in comparison to 2014 is that I take vitamin supplements and am on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to treat my perimenopausal symptoms. I have no idea is that will make a difference, but maybe if someone reads this and they know of an interaction they’ll drop a note about it here. As an aside, the HRT was completely effective in treating my pet menopausal symptoms. 
 

 

Edited January 7, 2023 by Addax

[Addax]

Those mild withdrawal symptoms seem to have abated. This is very reassuring.

[Addax]

Okay. Did my 90 days at 18mg. Other than those initial thingy-things it’s all good. Phew! My doc’s office leaves a lot to be desired and by the time they got the correct prescription called in I was about 4 or 5 days without anything. I did have an almost full bottle of 20mg, but it took a couple days for the scale to get to me so I could measure out 16mg.  In any event I’ve now been at 16mg for 3 days. I know it’s a larger drop than the recommended 10%, but I think it’s a small enough difference that any impact will be small. If this goes well and the pattern is similar to the last drop, then I will drop 1mg every 60 days until I get to 9mg. From there it’ll be significantly slower and I’ll likely have to switch to liquid in between the 1 mg doses. We’ll see. That won’t be for awhile.

 

Prozac/Fluoxetine has always dampened my range of affect. The range increased dramatically when I got to 20mg (down from 60). It was amazing to be able to cry and belly laugh again.  I always knew for all those years that I wasn’t able to cry, but it wasn’t until I laughed out loud during a movie that I realized it had been a couple decades since I’d laughed hard. So at 20 mg I was crying and laughing again. It was honestly kind of weird and My reactions felt like they might be too extreme… but they weren’t. Not at all. Well, I recently experienced that silent laugh where you can’t quite catch your breath and tears are running down your face. I don’t know if it had anything to do with the 2mg drop, but it was great… except that it was in response to a joke I was telling and ultimately ruined because I was laughing too hard. 😛

 

Now it’s 16mg for 90 days. 🤞

[Addax]

I’ve been at 16mg for about a month now. As far as I know I haven’t really experienced withdrawal symptoms. I say, “as far as I know” because I’m also at the end stages of peri menopause, so my crankiness and fatigue could be do either or both factors. 
 

Im still worried about bone loss induced by long term SSRI use. I haven’t requested to schedule a dexa scan, but need to. I just read beta blockers have been shown in mice to inhibit the bones loss induced by SSRI… but Im always skeptical of the generalizability of animal studies.  Plus, another side effect of long term SSRI use can be bradycardia, which I have. Beta blockers are contraindicated for individuals with bradycardia. (((Sigh)))

[Addax]

Started 15mg today. If I had adhered to the 10% guide I could have done 1.6/1.5. But I’m nervous. My experiences of withdrawal in 2014 still kind of haunts me.  When I hit the 6 month mark after just dropping to 18 mg from 20, and being at 16 mg, I was pretty hyper vigilant for a while… I did have an episode or two of ruminating some kind of impending doom. It was the first time I’d experienced that since 2014 and just the second time in my life. Granted, it was nowhere near my experience in 2014 but it was definitely uncomfortably familiar.  And scared me. Luckily, it as short lived. Some periods of low mood, but it’s tough not knowing what might be withdrawal and what is peri menopause. Or both. All in all, it’s really not been too bad. Laughing and crying happen easier. I mean that in a good way. I actually hadn’t thought there was any numbing left until I got teary eyed reading a book and also laughed so hard I entered silent laugh mode. I’m not just vacillating between the two, I’m not laughing or crying at odd or inappropriate times, of too frequently. It’s just that when it happens I actually laugh or I actually tear up or cry instead of thinking, “why am I not crying?” Or “why don’t I laugh out loud?”… I knew I used to.  It’s not like those things stopped as soon as I started taking Prozac. It was a progression. I don’t remember the moment I realized I had stopped crying. Couldn’t cry? Same with laughing… I don’t fake laughter anymore. How strange is that? I’ve probably mentioned those things in other posts… I guess I’m still in awe.  

 

[Addax]

Coming to the end of the 90 days at 15 mg.  A few mild bumps after about 3 weeks at 15, but they only lasted a couple days. One them scared me because it was something I had experienced back in 2014 during my time in withdrawal hell. It like a strange pressure tingling around my mouth and nose - it makes me think of what it my feel like if I was transforming into a wolf and growing a muzzle. So strange to even acknowledge that publicly. It’s the only way I can think to describe it.  Regardless, it was short lived a long with a few other things that I still have trouble separating from parimenopausal symptoms. The most difficult part is the re emergence of stronger emotions.  It’s something I’ve experienced in a relatively linear fashion in relation to my taper, and I have welcomed it despite hating the discomfort of the negative emotions.

Way back in my history I described how Prozac/fluoxetine negatively effected my emotional range. No laughing, no crying, no anger… but not exactly to the point of complete numbness.  Unfortunately, my ability to feel guilt and remorse was deadened along with the others. The result being that I acted selfishly and recklessly. I had begun to feel significant guilt and remorse for my transgressions. The feelings increased in intensity with each drop in dose… along with increased ability to experience the good emotions too.  The last month, however, has been the most difficult: the guilt has been severe and managing it has taken so much of my cognitive and emotional energy I have had little energy to do much else outside of daily work and life obligations. My anger at myself and my fear of the pain my past behavior  would cause if revealed is intense right now… as is the rage I am harboring towards Eli Lily and other pharmaceutical companies.  I am 100% responsible for my behavior, but I have no doubt that had I had the capacity to feel guilt and remorse with the intensity I do now, and that I recall feeling when I was younger,I would not have behaved so horribly. Do I know that for fact? No. But I am supremely confident that is the case.  
I hate how selfishly and recklessly I acted. I hate myself for it. I hate the guilt and shame I’m experiencing now. I know some of it maybe withdrawal related in terms of negative rumination, but they are not handicapping me this time. And as crazy as it sounds, I am thankful that I can feel them again.

[Addax]

Another check-in

it was a rough few months. Nothing close to the nightmare in 2014, but the waves were a bit steep some days. The guilt, irritability, and anticipation of something bad happening we’re more prominent about 4 weeks after a drop in dose.  Irritability might be a bit of an understatement… 😋 

 

I’m fully functional and outside of warning my husband that I’m grumpy, no one would know anything is wrong. I don’t think.
 

I’m stable now and gearing up to try a 2 mg drop. If it doesn’t go well I’ll go back to 1 mg until I get below 10.

 

I have learned that at 14mg cannabis is not a good idea. I rarely consume it and usually when I do it’s a very small amount in an edible form. It’s usually calming, but I’m now sensitized to it in such a way that it is more anxiety provoking and generally unpleasant. So no more of that.

 

The idea of getting below 10 has me very scared…

[ChessieCat]

3 hours ago, Addax said:

The idea of getting below 10 has me very scared…

 

If you still feel this way when you get to this stage you might consider doing a longer hold and enjoy some taper-free time before recommencing your taper.  And you might also consider only making a small reduction, eg 1% (not 1mg) which might help you to become more comfortable with getting below 10mg.

 

If you make a reduction and are stressed about doing it then you can end up with anxiety symptoms which you misinterpret as withdrawal symptoms.

 

I found this diagram very helpful in understanding how anxiety can affect the body.  From https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/anxiety-self-help/

 

[Addax]

@ChessieCat, thank you for the suggestion. My plan is to do just that. Get to 10 and stay there for a good long time.  I know blood levels drop pretty drastically after 10mg. So while this taper has been pretty decent as far as tapers go, even 6 years after my horrendous withdrawal experience, I’m still she’ll-shocked and terrified of reliving it. 
 

I’m not sure a 1% drop is necessary, but I’m thinking 5% rather than 10% after I go from 10 to 9. I’ll have to see what the compound pharmacy can do or if the have it in liquid form.  That won’t be for a while though.

 

The morning anxiety sucks. However, the increase in cortisol and the feeling of anxiety in the morning is also a symptom during perimenopause, so I don’t actually know which to blame. So confusing where the anxiety is coming from is familiar to me. 😉

 

I actually have to be a little careful right now. I’m feeling slightly over confident about my current taper and am tempted to do a deeper cut to get to 9 mg sooner. I requested my next prescription be 12 mg. A 2 mg drop. Im regretting it a bit, but it’s already on its way. I’ll see how it goes.  Too bumpy and I’ll just hangout at 12 longer. 

Thank you again for dropping by!
 

 

[Addax]

I can’t believe it’s been over 8-years since I started on this forum… 

Quick update. I’m come up on 8 weeks on 10 milligrams/day. Some bumps around week 4-6. Weepiness, perseveration on negative thoughts.  There was some blurry vision, which was disturbing because it reminded me of my withdrawal in 2014, which Triggers a lot of fear… Then it was all gone. 

Mood is good. Some waking anxiety, some irritability, but that might be perimenopause related too.

Sleep is good

No muscle twitches

No sensitivity

No GI issues

No immediate need to lie down. 

No light sensitivity

…. Basically, so far so good.  
If I recall, 10 mg is a point where blood levels drop dramatically. Scarier is that it may take another month or two to feel that drop.  And I’m scared.  The idea of feeling the way I did in 2014 is pretty terrifying. 

 

[ChessieCat]

Have you looked at this Brass Monkey Slide?

 

It is a gentler taper and give you more control over it because you can hold for longer at any point in the reduction cycle.

[Addax]

@ChessieCat. I haven’t! But I will now. Thank you!

My taper is actually going well and it’s been very slow. I just have these brief lapses a few days after a drop. Completely tolerable, but annoying and they freak me out until they’re gone - 2014 still looms large in my memory. Memory of the experience caused so much unease that I held at 20 mg for over 5 years.  I haven’t actually been actively tapering for 8.  The taper from 20 to 10 was 1.5 years. Before that, in 2014, the taper from 60 to 0 was a matter of weeks or months. Which sounds so crazy to me now.  Clearly I reinstated. Stabilizing at 20 and held tight until around February 2021. 
 

My fear of experiencing 2014 again may cause my posts to sound more dramatic than intended. 
 

Thank you again, Chessiecat.

[Addax]

16 weeks at 10mg. The 4 month mark. This is significant because 4 months seemed to be when withdrawal hit me the hardest he two times I was in withdrawal, the 2nd tie being the worst. So last week was a pretty big wave. Relatively, anyway. Mood was low, tired, then some muscle twitch by my eye which I know isn’t unusual even if your not in withdrawal. However, since I haven’t had it in years, it weirded me out. Today I’m having some flu-like symptoms. It actually wasn’t until I identified them as such that I thought to check her to see how many months I’d been at 10mg.  So my plan is to go a wait and see when these symptoms pass, then go another month, then begin my next 10% drop to 9 mg. 
aside from last week and now, these flu symptoms (body is achy, feels like I have a fever, want to sleep) things have been great since I last wrote.  
I will probably always have the experience of waiting to the other shoe to drop until it’s been a few years after my last dose of fluoxetine ever, but if that’s the worst thing, I’ll take it.

[Addax]

So I hung tight at 10mg until the beginning of this week, when I dropped to 9mg.  I had felt so good at 10mg that I thought about doing a 20% reduction to 8mg. However, I know that these last 10 have the potential to be precarious. If I remember correctly withdrawal symptoms hit sooner after a drop once the dose is below 10. having said that, I’ve been feeling quite blue and irritable since the drop. I don’t know if I’m attributing the symptoms to the drop when they are in fact actually perimenopause/hormonal cycle shifts symptoms.  I take HRT for the peri symptoms, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the symptoms are entirely gone. 

 

and I’ve been experiencing regular incidence of postural hypotension. This has been something I’ve experienced for years and is a reported side effect of SSRIs, but it has become significantly more frequent. 
 

Color me blue, pissy and frustrated.

Edited December 17, 2022 by Addax
To add info

[Addax]

I just realized that I have now been taking Prozac/fluoxetine for 32 years. I was at 25 years when I started here.

 

 

Edited January 7, 2023 by Addax
Mathematical error

[Addax]

It’s been a week since my drop to 9mg. I had been feeling down and irritable. Last week wasn’t my favorite. Some of it may have been hormonal because I started my period at the end of the week. Perimenopause seems to add an extra level of uncertainty, and I’m quite non-plussed about it.  
 

I just read back through my journal here. My gratefulness to @Altostrata,@Rhiannon and @rapunzel2 quickly re-emerged.  It also made me thankful that I listened to them.  Hell, I’m just thankful for them all over again, and will remain so.
 

Getting from 20mg to 10mg was slow but here I am. No life disruption. But the fact that I am here from 60mg seems crazy.  And at no moment did an eating disorder emerge - the reason I was prescribed Prozac in 1988 in the first place. Depression and anxiety, aside from what emerges in withdrawal has not been an issue. What I mean by that is that there were periods when I stopped taking Prozac in my early 20s, having no idea withdrawal was a thing, and would feel lousy and down, and I would be told it was depression and/or anxiety returning… which I never really understood because there was no “returning.” Prior to Prozac I had never been diagnosed with either, nor ever felt either that was consistent with contex.
And I had almost forgotten that I’d been taking Wellbutrin for a period back in 2014 and that had complicated things because I had no idea about Bupropion’s effect on how Fluoxetine was metabolized by the liver and the relationship to plasma levels of Fluoxetine.

 

So 9mg… I’ve stepped off the elbow. If you’re reading this and have seen the graphs of plasma concentrations at lower doses, “elbow” will make sense.  So this is the scariest part for me. As I have said over and over, my withdrawal experience back in 2014 remains lurking and wont let me forget the potential is there to feel that again. If after 8 weeks I feel ok enough To make another drop, I might have a little party. 

Edited September 23, 2023 by Addax
Added context

[Altostrata]

You're welcome!

 

Often, when you're at the elbow, taking a vacation from tapering to allow your nervous system to rest for a while facilitates taking the final slope.

[Addax]

Two weeks at 9mg of Fluoxetine. I forgot to mention that I had to empty 11mg out of old 20mg capsules to get the 9mg because of a delay in getting my 9mg from the compound pharmacy. It’s an online pharmacy, which is great, but the staff at my PCP’s office consistently questions the non-commercially available dose and no matter how much I explain and re-explain, the idea of titration and compounding seems allude them.
 

The PCP just goes a long with my request but his staff,  who actually facilitate the prescription, struggle for some reason. They will sometimes send the wrong prescription strength to the pharmacy - I think because they think the dose is wrong and/or the drop down options on their computer system does not list non-commercially available doses. I have called ahead, sent messages, and tried educate the staff but there always seems to be a bump in the road that causes a delay. It was annoying at first, but now it’s become kind of comical.  Well, except this time. This time is anxiety provoking because it’’s a longer lag and because of where I am in my tapering and my scale isn’t always great.
 

Also, the age of my 20mg capsules has me wondering about degradation of their potency.

 

In addition, the intense irritability I have felt since a few days after my drop doesn’t seem to be exclusive to peri menopause symptoms. I’ve had irritability but not as intense as the episodes I’ve been feeling lately. So while I can’t parse out which is more responsible, my guess is that they both suck individually and suck even more in combination. 

I tried to wait to describe the intensity of my symptoms until they have been around a bit or remitted, to avoid catastrophizing. So here I am.  Irritable and easily angered. The irritability/rage, which was prominent during my 2012 experience of withdrawal (but not recognized as such) was far more intense than what I’ve been experiencing now, but it’s still sucks. Knowing there is cause (for lack of a better word) has made it easier to suppress my urge to express my irrational angry responses. Because Of what I know about withdrawal I engage in a lot of metacognitons (thinking about my thoughts) which makes it easier to rationally dispute whatever is going on in my head that’s making me SO angry. This is not to say that my irritation itself was not justified; however, the intensity was not. Something that I would cause me to roll my eyes became the urge to shake or shove the “offender” and rattle off insults. 

The great news? The intensity of the irritability and anger has definitely dissipated from where it was a week and a half ago. It went from a constant rumbling in my head to sporadic bursts that have become milder.  So, using the previous example, where I would roll my eyes, I now want the throw the socks tossed next to the hamper (rather than in) at the “offender” . This is a significant step down from wanting to throwing a brick at them while yelling obscenities after finding the socks leaning on, but not in, the hamper. 

 

 

[Altostrata]

Can you get 5mg capsules compounded and take the rest in liquid? This may minimize the quality control worries.

[Addax]

I hadn’t thought of that but it seems like it would work well. Especially with the less than 1mg drops I’ll be making going forward. 

One thing about my PCP is that he seems comfortable acknowledging that he knows little to nothing about withdrawal and so allows me to tell him what to prescribe… or he’s burnt out and just doesn’t care 🤷🏻‍♀️. Either way, he’ll be fine prescribing the 5mg. 
 

Thank you, @Altostrata
 

[Addax]

So for several days I have felt very good and the irritability is no longer looming. 

I was reminded again, today that my horrible withdrawal experience in 2014 was also due to an almost simultaneous taper of Wellbutrin.  As much as I sometimes feel haunted by the experience  I’m kinda thankful for this reminder because, 1) I successfully got off bupropion, and 2) tapering just Prozac is likely to be much smoother given I don’t have to deal with the interaction of the two and the increased plasma levels of fluoxetine. 

 

[Soup]

@Addax just was reading through your story . So sorry this happened to you as well as so many of us . Glad to see you are getting through . Are you fairly functional through this tapering process ? You are very brave I am impressed by your stamina . 

[Addax]

 

@Soup,Thanks for stopping by and for you kind words. 

Yes, it was treacherous for I bit, for sure. I have been stable and functional for several years now. There have been a few minor blips since I restarted my taper almost 2 years ago, but they have been manageable and minimally disruptive; and by disruptive I mean internally. I have tapered very slowly this time. I don’t know if it’s stamina or just acceptance and patience. 😊

   

[Addax]

At 9 mg for about a month now. Two weeks of feeling pretty irritable and angry with a pretty sudden remission. I’m going to credit a long hike in the outdoors with the sudden remission.  
 

Im considering dropping to the next dose a couple weeks sooner than planned. I was intending to do 10% every 60 days, but being that things have really leveled out and remained so for a couple weeks, I’m thinking 45 days. I’ll see how I tolerate it. 
 

Part of me thinks it’s a dumb idea because I’m at the SERT elbow, which means there is significant potential to feel drops more intensely.  But my curiosity about how I’ll respond is getting the better of me.  
 

As I wrote on someone else’s thread, my intention is to avoid withdrawal symptoms as much as possible. While I might be able to tolerate some treachery, i don’t want to have to.  I definitely don’t want to have to deal with it in my professional life.  But it’s hard for me to be patient. I just want to get it over with. The tedium of tapering, anticipating symptoms, wondering if what I’m feeling is withdrawal symptoms or normal, is maddening. And of course, withdrawal symptoms in and of themselves suck. 
 

Something’s I recently learned from journal articles: While fluoxetine’s half-life is long, it can take over 80 days for it to be completely out of your system. This is probably the reason it took several months for withdrawal symptoms hit me so terribly hard last time.  That research findings are consistent with my experience is reassuring. It’s difficult to articulate why. Maybe it’s a feeling of validation. Maybe it reveals that there is some predictably in all this.  When I read it I immediately thought, “okay, when I get to 0, if I’m okay at 4 months, I’ll be okay forever.”  The 3-4 month mark after any drop has been important to my assessment of how things are going anyway. Now it feels like I’m not just informed by on my own anecdotal evidence… if that even makes sense.
 

[Addax]

Quick note. I just read through my recent posts. The ones over the last year or so.  What I noticed is that I wrote about some rough waves but I honestly can’t recall them now. That is except for the last bit of irritability. It’s was kind of creepy reading it and not remembering that I wrote it, let alone experienced it. Maybe it’s a good thing? I can’t seem to stop mentioning 2014, but as I sit here I know I had some hiccups but I don’t recall some of the waves I wrote about this year and definitely not how bad they seem to have been… relatively. I’m actually sitting here wondering, “was it as bad as I made it sound or was I being hyperbolic?” I’m going to go with it was as bad as it sounded. I’m not prone to hyperbole.

[Altostrata]

You might want to try 5% every month rather than a 10% decrease every 60 days. If it's easier, you may be able to increase to 6% every month, etc.

 

You'll be able to put the pieces together in retrospect! This is why the Success Stories are so valuable. When you're in the thick of it, every bump seems huge.

[Addax]

@Altostrata, You know…I think I might do just that. It’ll take a bit because of the lag between putting in the request for a new prescription and getting it from the compound. I’m also go to go with the liquid as you suggested.  If I do as you suggested, I can get a 90 day supply of 5mg capsules and use the liquid to supplement the other MGs as I taper down to 5.  I’ll have to workout what amounts to ask for and write it out in detail, otherwise, between the dr.’s office staff and the customer service at the online pharmacy, who knows what I’d end up with.

Thank you, Alto!

[Addax]

There is a delay in getting my prescription filled by the compounding pharmacy and my scale died, so I’m unable to weigh anything. I sit at 9mg. It’s fine. I feel good. Did notice some increased frequency in the occurrence of tinnitus. It’s short lived, but freaks me a little. 
After reading other member’s threads, and interacting with a couple, I found myself trying to identify what changes I have notice since decreasing the amount of fluoxetine I take. I think looking back there are some that are more emotionally charged than others. Some have come suddenly, or I didn’t recognize the build up. That would be the ability to cry and the ability to laugh hard, and experience a normal range of guilt and remorse. Not that I was a consciousless psychopath. No. Nothing like that. I just didn’t have benefit of having a healthy level of guilt informing some of my decisions and behavior and at times made some selfish decisions that would have been unacceptable to the me I remembered and the me now. Now, guilt is present and accounted for, and if my memory serves me well, it’s at the pre-Prozac levels. 

I have written in my thread here about changes, to include No bruxism, no yawning, level of fatigue is consistent with my how much sleep I did or did not get…I know there are others…

I feel love more deeply, and my attachments to the people I love are stronger. Again, not that I didn’t have those things during the decades I was on higher doses or Fluoxetine, but they were severely blunted like the other feelings.

On the flip side, I also dislike people with greater intensity, and am less tolerant… of course that could also be my age. 😉

 

There are more…but as I’m taking stock of the changes and more are coming to mind, I’m becoming angry and very sad thinking about the years those things… those parts of me…were not fully present, and I lost out on the full experience of a lot of things, good and sad. And now I’m crying… lovely. FFS! 🙄

Sometimes I get on my own nerves. 🙃
 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 21, 2023 by Addax
Grammar