Addax: 30 years with Fluoxetine and tapering

[Addax]

4 hours ago, Fifree said:

I'm finding myself with a little more energy and focus... less inclined to sit around playing games on my phone which is a really good thing. I've been wondering wth was wrong with me with that for years and now I realise it was an insidious side effect.

So many insidious side effects! It was actually a bout with some pretty funky symptoms that led me to attempt to discontinue in 2012. Withdrawal symptoms were brutal and I ended up reinstating (still no idea about withdrawal) but I noticed the symptoms remitted in the weeks following my discontinuation.  That’s when I cut to 40 and added Wellbutrin to combat the fatigue Fluoxetine caused. 

 

4 hours ago, Fifree said:

So there are definitely wins in this process. At the same time, I'm finding myself a bit less patient with my children's emotional dependence on me.

I don’t have children, but according to my friends who do, their tolerance waxes and wanes, with a lot of waning going on. So add to that the whole withdrawal thing and I suspect your lowered tolerance is probably pretty not at all unusual. So if you’re playing the game of “is it me or withdrawal?” I’d go with it’s just withdrawal.  I went through a bout of intolerance with my dogs’ behavior, also in 2012. Just normal dog behavior that prior to being in withdrawal probably didn’t even register, but in withdrawal it provoked intense irritability and anger.  I felt like a horrible dog mom.  Interestingly, my second horrific withdrawal experience (described in the rxisk article) opposite happened, and they became a source of comfort.  So if I defined myself using the experience in 2012, I’m intolerant of dogs, but fast forward to 2014 and beyond, and I tolerate all kinds of dog behavior, maybe to a fault. Although, I’m less tolerant of people - of all ages 😆. 
 

 

[Thorin]

Hey Addax,

 

can you share a link to your article please? You may have already done so but I can’t see it.

 

thanks

 

[Fifree]

2 hours ago, Thorin said:

article

Hey there Thorin.   It’s in Addax’s signature block. 

[Thorin]

13 minutes ago, Fifree said:

Hey there Thorin.   It’s in Addax’s signature block. 

Oh cool. I’ll check it out. Thanks Fifree 😊

[Thorin]

@Addax just read your article. Sounds like a horrific experience. Must’ve taken a lot of courage to try again! Well done!

[Addax]

14 hours ago, Thorin said:

just read your article. Sounds like a horrific experience. Must’ve taken a lot of courage to try again! Well done!

Thank you, Thorin. It really was horrific. It looms large during this taper. I’m nervous for weeks after every cut, and symptoms, regardless how minimal, can strike intense fear in me that it’s going to happen again. Just writing about it now causes tears to well up, my breathing to get short, and my chest to tighten. The hopelessness and feeling of helplessness were unreal.  I thought I would be stuck there forever. But I was 100% wrong.  We’re all 100% wrong when we think it’s forever… 😊
 

[Thorin]

32 minutes ago, Addax said:

Thank you, Thorin. It really was horrific. It looms large during this taper. I’m nervous for weeks after every cut, and symptoms, regardless how minimal, can strike intense fear in me that it’s going to happen again. Just writing about it now causes tears to well up, my breathing to get short, and my chest to tighten. The hopelessness and feeling of helplessness were unreal.  I thought I would be stuck there forever. But I was 100% wrong.  We’re all 100% wrong when we think it’s forever… 😊
 

My heart goes out to you when I read this and I can honestly say I can relate well to the feelings of fear (terror/panic?) that you speak of. I still panic when I get symptoms also although it IS improving. But you’re right. We were both 100% wrong when we thought we’d be there forever. Look how far you’ve come on your taper, successfully! And I’m at a point where I feel well enough to continue on my taper. I never thought that would happen. Ultimately I think we’ll be ok. We just have to get through a controlled, appropriate taper and deal with the things that made us decide to go on meds in the first place and hopefully some of those issues have passed since we started meds!

[Addax]

On 3/15/2023 at 8:13 PM, Thorin said:

Ultimately I think we’ll be ok. We just have to get through a controlled, appropriate taper and deal with the things that made us decide to go on meds in the first place and hopefully some of those issues have passed since we started meds!

Yes. You’re 100% right. 

[Addax]

2nd week of the brassmonkey slide started today at 7.6mg. Last week went alright, but I suspect missing those two days destabilized me a bit. It’s hard to say. Fluoxetine has a long half-life, but it seems that missing two todays would cause a dip. Plus, I believe at lower doses the med is metabolized more quickly… which seems like it would effect the half-life - making it shorter? 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

I say “destabilized” because I was definitely feeling more off. More fatigued, more blue, and more anxious, less motivated. However, there’s that stupid game, “Is it _________ or withdrawal?” Plus, work has been inordinately unpredictable and stressful, so that maybe a contributing factor as well.  Plus I got the shingles vax last week and that left me feeling pretty crappy for three days - at least I was forwarded about that part.  Ok. so writing that out I can clearly see there was lots of nuttiness over the last week. So maybe even if I weren’t tapering I would feel the same way.  I’m glad it’s Friday.

[Addax]

The whole thing with being more sensitive to reductions at lower doses is no joke. I feel that drop from 7.8mg to 7.6. Some relatively intense irritability and tearfulness yesterday morning, with some irritability and fatigue sticking around for most of the day. All mostly subsided by late afternoon/early evening. This is interesting because, while it’s substantially less intense than my experience in 2014, it follows the same pattern - my circadian rhythm. Which makes sense given the cortisol connection. Highest upon waking, then tapering off as the day progressed. 

The irritability and tearfulness were not exactly out of nowhere, but the feeling of irritation and disappointment/sadness was a bit out of line with the context. I work hard to engage in meta cognition, and it was very hard to believe that my thoughts and feelings were exaggerated and essentially an over reaction. I’m not sure I bought into it 100% until the evening when I was feeling better.
 

One thing I did to manage things yesterday was to deliberately set aside time to express my anger and sadness. I used the 17 minute car ride home from the gym to swear and cry - hard! Luckily it wasn’t a high traffic time, and the car that pulled up next to me at the stoplight was set back several feet. As nutty as it probably looked, it was cathartic.  It makes me laugh a little to think about it now. 

One thing I need to be mindful of is that when I’m engaged in doing something my symptoms take a backseat. Like several seats back. 
 

As troublesome as it sounds like yesterday was, it was a FAR cry from 2014. Far. Thousands of miles far. Not debilitating, but definitely annoying. While it helped that I knew the symptoms were withdrawal and not me (given my previous experience), there was a part of me that sat with a lot of anxiety and dread and that I was going to fall off the cliff I fell from in 2014. That didn’t happen, and so far today is starting off better than yesterday.

 

If withdrawal was a person, and I ran into them yesterday, I would have throat punched them. And if they had male bits, I would kick them in the nuts, too.  Same goes for their big pharm sibling. 🤬

[j1290]

2 hours ago, Addax said:

The whole thing with being more sensitive to reductions at lower doses is no joke.

I looked at my old blog and I was able to do really large drops of effexor until I got into that transport curve, whatever it's called and wham!  hit me right up side the head.  It was 2.5% drops from there on out 😆

 

3 hours ago, Addax said:

The irritability and tearfulness were not exactly out of nowhere, but the feeling of irritation and disappointment/sadness was a bit out of line with the context.

I hear you.  When the emotion keeps flowing like a river when I cognitively know it's not matching the event...it's a WD thing.  An odd sensation I hope to quickly forget exists 😊

 

3 hours ago, Addax said:

I used the 17 minute car ride home from the gym to swear and cry - hard! Luckily it wasn’t a high traffic time, and the car that pulled up next to me at the stoplight was set back several feet. As nutty as it probably looked, it was cathartic.  It makes me laugh a little to think about it now. 

I think WD is a time when I've had emotions that are simply not under my control as my brain is destroying and rebuilding new cells and pathways to accommodate less meds.  If there's a better, convenient place to express the more active of those feelings than while driving around without an audience, I don't know where it is.  Man, the places this WD takes us!   

 

3 hours ago, Addax said:

a part of me that sat with a lot of anxiety and dread and that I was going to fall off the cliff I fell from in 2014

Once bitten twice shy for sure!   A bad spell with tapering leaves a very lasting impression.   

 

Always enjoy your updates.  Glad to hear I'm not the only one that gets the grrrrrrrr in the morning from WD!   It's irksome for sure.  

[Addax]

5 hours ago, j1290 said:

I think WD is a time when I've had emotions that are simply not under my control as my brain is destroying and rebuilding new cells and pathways to accommodate less meds.

I do try to keep that in mind… the angst and awfulness is healing in action.  Our brain filling in the space the drug(s) leave behind. 
 

5 hours ago, j1290 said:

Glad to hear I'm not the only one that gets the grrrrrrrr in the morning from WD! 

There is such an odd reassurance in our shared experiences.  Like, it’s comforting to know that this whole abnormal experience is at least withdrawal normal. And the morning grrrrrrs appear to be part of that withdrawal normal. 
 

 

[Addax]

I have been hit with some symptoms. M*****F*****!! A day after dropping to 7.4.

 

I’m not ready to attribute the flu-like symptoms to withdrawal.  The idea that they are that is incredibly disheartening for some reason. I’m maybe a little blue and irritable, but those feel real and in response to feeling physically unwell, rather than the iatrogenic blueness and irritability I’ve felt before. If this is withdrawal, then it’s the first time I’ve had physical symptoms like this during this portion of my taper. Typical flu-like stuff. Achy, tired, feel feverish… what is freaking me out is the feeling that there is a thin film over my eyes that makes things in my near vision blurry and I can’t rub away. The kicker with that part is that I experienced during my bad withdrawal experience as well as related to season allergies. So who knows?! I suppose it could be histamine related stuff … which doesn’t clear things up because that gets wonky during withdrawal as well. 
 

One of the reasons… or maybe it’s THE reason, I want to reject the idea that how I’m feeling is withdrawal is that it means I’ll need to slow my brassmonkey slide. So if it’s set at 10%, maybe 5%. It so bums me out… but it’s still moving forward, yeah? 
 

In defense of it not being related specifically to the recent drop, but not completely deflecting blame from tapering and withdrawal, last week was particularly stressful in relation to work. Unfortunately, the nature of my job means there will be sporadic instances of high stress. I have managed them fine, but at my low dose and the decent down the now nearly 90 degree portion of the sert curve, it’s not surprising my brain and body are more sensitive to stressors and slightly less capable of managing them as well as when I was it a higher dose. 
 

Just for the record:

Dropped from 7.6 to 7.4 yesterday 

Began feeling tired and achy by evening

Woke-up feeling worse, to include feeling feverish

Feeling mad and distressed because I’m feeling, tired achy, and feverish. ((Grumble, grumble))

 

[Thorin]

4 hours ago, Addax said:

have been hit with some symptoms. M*****F*****!! A day after dropping to 7.4.

Bugger!

 

4 hours ago, Addax said:

I’m not ready to attribute the flu-like symptoms to withdrawal.  The idea that they are that is incredibly disheartening for some reason. I’m maybe a little blue and irritable, but those feel real and in response to feeling physically unwell, rather than the iatrogenic blueness and irritability I’ve felt before. If this is withdrawal, then it’s the first time I’ve had physical symptoms like this during this portion of my taper. Typical flu-like stuff. Achy, tired, feel feverish… what is freaking me out is the feeling that there is a thin film over my eyes that makes things in my near vision blurry and I can’t rub away. The kicker with that part is that I experienced during my bad withdrawal experience as well as related to season allergies. So who knows?! I suppose it could be histamine related stuff … which doesn’t clear things up because that gets wonky during withdrawal as well. 

Hard to know whether it’s WD isn’t it. The eternal question. Me or the meds? Time will tell you what it is. If it’s WD is it tolerable?

 

4 hours ago, Addax said:

One of the reasons… or maybe it’s THE reason, I want to reject the idea that how I’m feeling is withdrawal is that it means I’ll need to slow my brassmonkey slide. So if it’s set at 10%, maybe 5%. It so bums me out… but it’s still moving forward, yeah? 

Is your goal no WD at all or tolerable WD where you know what it is but can handle it? But you’re right. As long as you’re progressing that’s all that matters.

 

4 hours ago, Addax said:

defense of it not being related specifically to the recent drop, but not completely deflecting blame from tapering and withdrawal, last week was particularly stressful in relation to work. Unfortunately, the nature of my job means there will be sporadic instances of high stress. I have managed them fine, but at my low dose and the decent down the now nearly 90 degree portion of the sert curve, it’s not surprising my brain and body are more sensitive to stressors and slightly less capable of managing them as well as when I was it a higher dose. 

It absolutely makes sense that you would get some WD now, particularly if you’ve been experiencing a bit of stress. I hope it doesn’t get any worse for you!

[Addax]

7 minutes ago, Thorin said:

Is your goal no WD at all or tolerable WD where you know what it is but can handle it?

I would love no WD, but I’ve anticipated that there would/will be some symptoms along the way.  My goal is to keep them tolerable to where they don’t disrupt my work and have minimal impact on other parts of my life.
 

21 minutes ago, Thorin said:

. The eternal question. Me or the meds? This me will tell you what it is. If it’s WD is it tolerable?

 

What’s a little nutty is that even though I’ll feel better at some point, unless I go to the doc for a flu test  I may never know whether it’s flu, a bad cold, or withdrawal symptoms. 

 

These physical flu-like symptoms are a disruption because I actually feel like I have the flu or a very bad cold. If today had been a workday I would’ve taken a sick day.  I am feeling better than I did this morning, so there is that. So they are tolerable, but disruptive… which makes them intolerable. 

 

[Thorin]

35 minutes ago, Addax said:

I would love no WD, but I’ve anticipated that there would/will be some symptoms along the way.  My goal is to keep them tolerable to where they don’t disrupt my work and have minimal impact on other parts of my life.

Sounds like a realistic and achievable goal.

 

35 minutes ago, Addax said:

These physical flu-like symptoms are a disruption because I actually feel like I have the flu or a very bad cold. If today had been a workday I would’ve taken a sick day.  I am feeling better than I did this morning, so there is that. So they are tolerable, but disruptive… which makes them intolerable. 

Can absolutely relate. I really struggle when it all disrupts my work. I’m at the point now where I just have to accept that today is a bad day and the only way to make it better is to be kind to myself and listen to my body. If I need a sick day I’ll take one. I don’t like it at all, but getting off meds and remaining slightly sane is more important. What’s hard is a I don’t have any savings so most of the time I just push through. Keep us updated with how you feel. Glad you’re already feeling a little better.

[Addax]

8 hours ago, Thorin said:

I’m at the point now where I just have to accept that today is a bad day and the only way to make it better is to be kind to myself and listen to my body.

Wise words. I struggle with accepting it some days. I sometimes myself so angry to be in this position and wish I could find the Eli Lily researches and drug reps who ignored very early research findings indicating dependence and withdrawal were issues with Prozac. I spend too much energy in that headspace when I don’t feel well, knowing it won’t make me feel any better.

[Addax]

Yesterday was awful. I felt awful. It just sucked. And I don’t know what to attribute it to, which is kind of maddening.  I guess it kind of doesn’t matter because if it was a virus type thing, I would have just had to wait it out, and if it was WD related I would also have had to just wait it out. There are some indications it was withdrawal related. Looking back I was doing some ruminating about work and career stuff - all negative thoughts, of course. It was not unlike thoughts I’d had in 2014, just not nearly as hopeless and I was able to distract myself from them by focusing on how bad I felt - So much ridiculousness! Like one symptom trying to outdo the other. Brain and body on opposing sides. They can both go pound sand! 
 

So today… I’m back to baseline. Essentially, A-O-K, but as I do, I’m waiting for a shoe to drop. Another indicator it was WD related. I am incredibly thankful for the quick turnaround.
 

My taper drops are scheduled for Fridays… if my experience yesterday and last week were any indication of when I’ll feel the drops, then Friday is the best possible day. I’’m willing to sacrifice my Saturdays, and if I have plans, I’ll hold until the following Friday.  

 

 

[Thorin]

15 hours ago, Addax said:

spend too much energy in that headspace when I don’t feel well, knowing it won’t make me feel any better.

I understand spiraling like that. I tend to spiral and look for potential solutions to my symptoms when struggling. Don’t think I’ve ever got anywhere with it really but it stops me feeling so hopeless. 

[Addax]

I was scheduled to drop from 7.4 mg to 7.2 today. However, when it came time to take the fluoxetine I balked. I didn’t panic, exactly. But I’ve not been feeling as well as I had been prior to last week’s flu-like stuff. Symptoms have been physical. Fatigue, upset stomach, with some emotional stuff: a little blue, insecure, focus on potentially but unlikely negative outcomes … but I think what is contributing to my trepidation most is a bout of Akathisia Tuesday night. I felt the restlessness running up and down my spine and succumbed to the urge to twist and arch to relieve it. I won’t lie. It scared me, even caused something akin to flashbacks. I had the thought, “****, here I go…” and found myself questioning whether I could tolerate how I’d been feeling this week for another 19-20 months (my approximate 0 dose and a little beyond). Or whether I even wanted to, even if I could.  I didn’t feel tortured, per se, and I functioned fine at work, and actually find I feel better while working then left with my thoughts, albeit with my imposter syndrome has been on full blast, which causes me to be more reserved and to personalize too much.

 

I did come through it, and I am thankful the akathisia only last one night, but I am shaken. Or Maybe I’ll call it humbled…
 

I am holding another day, at least. But probably longer. There is something kind of empowering about holding… maybe because it adds an elements of predictability, control, and confidence that dropping can sometimes take away. 

If my drop to 7.2, when I do it, causes too many bumps I may hold more often. I would say make smaller weekly drops, but I’m not sure I can accurately measure 0.1 drops. A different syringe, perhaps. I’ll have to check it out. 
 

Magnesium. Check! I think it’s time to be deliberate in bringing Yoga and attentional training back into my daily routine. 

(((Sigh))) 

[Thorin]

6 hours ago, Addax said:

Magnesium. Check! I think it’s time to be deliberate in bringing Yoga and attentional training back into my daily routine

This is a good idea. I add management strategies as I need them. Do you have a good therapist/support to help you through this?

[Addax]

11 hours ago, Thorin said:

Do you have a good therapist/support to help you through this?

Therapist? No. Which is kind of ridiculous given how huge a proponent I am of people being in therapy during this process to the point where I consider it a necessity. But my husband is as supportive as anyone could be and as much as I’ll let him be.  But I don’t share everything with him all the time. I’m not hiding anything, per se, but given how symptoms and not feeling well can suck me into my head, the less I talk about them in my daily life the better it is for me. I try to compartmentalize and keep it here on this site. And if I had a therapist I would use that space for it as well. Also, faking well has its benefits, so that’s another reason.

My husband was with me during the ordeal in 2014 and knows as much as anyone who hasn’t been through it could, so it’s enough to tell him I feel badly and he’ll have a general idea what I mean and do his best to comfort me or go along with my charade of feeling fine when I’m not.

 

Goal this week: find a therapist. If my symptoms are going to be like they were this last week, even if it’s just occasional, it will help. 

 

[Thorin]

15 hours ago, Addax said:

Goal this week: find a therapist. If my symptoms are going to be like they were this last week, even if it’s just occasional, it will help. 

I’m glad your husband can help. That’s fantastic. I’ve found my therapist invaluable throughout this process and am not sure I would have made it this far without her help. It really does make it easier. Hope you find a good one if you do look for one. Good luck!

[Addax]

Held at 7.4mg for an extra week and am glad I did. Today I did 7.2. I’m a little nervous. I have been wondering whether my missed dose a few weeks ago, Fluoxetine’s long half-life and some work related stress were the culprit rather than that week’s drop. Of course, I’ll never really know. I DO know that the flu-like symptoms I had two weeks ago were withdrawal symptoms because they occurred again last Sunday, although significantly milder.

 

The Brassmonkey taper would have me hold for two weeks after the 7.2. However, I’m tempted to go to 7.0 and hold there. Why? Because it’s and even 7 and seems like a good place to hold rather 7.2 or 6.8.  It’s a silly reason but that’s my reason.

 

My next group of drops has two decimal places and it’s stressing me out. I may stick with .2 drops a week until I get to 6. It’s a very small difference at this point; however, it’s a risk. It may be small differences volume wise, but may be a significant difference qualitatively.  The idea of having to use two syringes is daunting. 
 

I had an appointment with a new prescriber. A psych Nurse practitioner. I had made the appointment a bit ago after my PCP got nervous in response to my request for a divided dose. In the end my PCP wrote a prescription for the liquid Fluoxetine solution and I’ve been using it since. But I kept the appointment to get the prescription for 5mg capsules to do the split dose. 
 

It had been so long since I had to present my “case” for tapering and talk about withdrawal and my two horrible withdrawal experiences. I was pretty vague about the details but emphasized how horrible 2014 was. It was just too much to talk about and as I was talking I could see the doubt creeping onto the NPs face. I went into the appointment thinking, “Prescribing and med management is what she does and there’s so much info out there now this will be a walk in the park.” Nope. The NP repeatedly asserted that withdrawal isn’t typically as bad as I described, and she’d never heard of withdrawal being so difficult, especially being that it’s fluoxetine with it’s long half-life …  She then told me a story of putting someone on 80mg of Prozac and how they had no problem coming off.  She repeatedly questioned whether my “withdrawal “ experience was actually the emergence of severe depression or anxiety, and batted around the diagnosis of major depressive disorder. She also theorized out loud that another medication might be an alternative to tapering to prevent a relapse of depressive symptoms. I finally could not hold my tongue and said, “Look, I am one hundred percent confident that my experience was withdrawal. If you feel a need to call it depression or anxiety, than call it iatrogenic depression or iatrogenic anxiety. What I experienced and what I felt was 100% because of the drug…”  I was so angry.
 

Afterward, I thought how invalidated and demoralized I would feel and how vulnerable I would be if I didn’t know what I now know. I kept thinking about how many times this scenario plays out but people go in to appointments like this and don’t know about dependence and withdrawal and end up on more of the med they are taking or have another med added. Like the poor person she had on 80mg. How is it that someone whose job is probably 90% writing prescriptions and doing med management has no idea? Like, WTAF?!
 

In the end she wrote the prescription for the 5mg and told me she leaves it in my hands.  She was also receptive to me emailing several articles to her…

 

Of course being reluctant to rock my boat, I may stick to just solution.  At least she’ll have the articles and perhaps our interaction inspired enough curiosity that she’ll look for more.

 

 

 

[Thorin]

16 minutes ago, Addax said:

had been so long since I had to present my “case” for tapering and talk about withdrawal and my two horrible withdrawal experiences. I was pretty vague about the details but emphasized how horrible 2014 was. It was just too much to talk about and as I was talking I could see the doubt creeping onto the NPs face. I went into the appointment thinking, “Prescribing and med management is what she does and there’s so much info out there now this will be a walk in the park.” Nope. The NP repeatedly asserted that withdrawal isn’t typically as bad as I described, and she’d never heard of withdrawal being so difficult, especially being that it’s fluoxetine with it’s long half-life …  She then told me a story of putting someone on 80mg of Prozac and how they had no problem coming off.  She repeatedly questioned whether my “withdrawal “ experience was actually the emergence of severe depression or anxiety, and batted around the diagnosis of major depressive disorder. She also theorized out loud that another medication might be an alternative to tapering to prevent a relapse of depressive symptoms. I finally could not hold my tongue and said, “Look, I am one hundred percent confident that my experience was withdrawal. If you feel a need to call it depression or anxiety, than call it iatrogenic depression or iatrogenic anxiety. What I experienced and what I felt was 100% because of the drug…”  I was so angry.

This is so horrible and ignorant. They said all the worst things they could probably say. Completely invalidating your experience and assuming they know you and your experience better than you do. Sorry you had that experience but glad you got your prescription. 

[j1290]

If only I knew long ago what I know now.  I used to be completely unquestioning.  These days I try not to rock the boat either.  

[Addax]

On 4/7/2023 at 7:41 AM, Thorin said:

This is so horrible and ignorant. They said all the worst things they could probably say. Completely invalidating your experience and assuming they know you and your experience better than you do. Sorry you had that experience but glad you got your prescription. 

It was ignorant. And it was like some crazy stereotype response that is talked about here on SA.  All those stories of ignorant and invalidating prescribers captured by one prescriber.  I didn’t feel invalidated. But only because I knew what my experience was and is and what caused it and I knew she was coming from a un- informed/misinformed place. If I didn’t know? I’d have a stronger or another med.

 

On 4/7/2023 at 11:18 AM, j1290 said:

If only I knew long ago what I know now.  I used to be completely unquestioning.  These days I try not to rock the boat either. 

I think about that a lot. If only I had known…

The info was out there at least as early as 1991 - which is frustrating to know. That was just 3 years after I was prescribed fluoxetine. 

 

 

 

[Addax]

Could the bumpy ride over the last couple of weeks been a response to my abrupt switch from capsule to liquid? I knew it was recommended that a crossover be done in steps, but due to the amount of filler in the capsules I didn’t know how I would know know that I was getting 5mg of the powder if I tried to extract 5mg from the powder. So I just jumped to liquid. Maybe it was the impetus for the bumpy ride, maybe it was just one of the factors. I don’t know. But I’m putting the link to the thread that includes instructions for crossing over, here in case I need a reminder or someone reading this needs it.

 

I dropped to 7.2 Friday. So far, no signs of a negative reaction to the drop. The good news is, it seems I have stabilized and feel quite good.  I will continue with liquid only despite the NP having written the script for the 5mg. No boat rocking!

[j1290]

 

4 hours ago, Addax said:

The good news is, it seems I have stabilized and feel quite good.

 

Congratulations!  That's fantastic news!!!🥳

[littlebird]

Just now, j1290 said:

4 hours ago, Addax said:

The good news is, it seems I have stabilized and feel quite good.

 

Congratulations!  That's fantastic news!!!🥳

 

Yaaaaay! I'm so glad to hear this news. 🎉

[Thorin]

9 hours ago, Addax said:

I dropped to 7.2 Friday. So far, no signs of a negative reaction to the drop. The good news is, it seems I have stabilized and feel quite good.  I will continue with liquid only despite the NP having written the script for the 5mg. No boat rocking!

Excellent! It makes life easier!

[Addax]

Drop to 7.0 mg today… 

One of the things I like about the brassmonkey taper is that despite the micro amount of each drop, and that it’s still just 10% every month, the weekly tiny drops makes it feel like I’m zipping along faster. 
 

The last week has been good. Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m symptomatic or if I’m looking for symptoms so find something that could be a symptom.  Of course, now that I just dropped .2mg, I’ll spend the next few days waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop.  Why can’t I just be okay with feeling okay? 
 

 

 

[Addax]

Decent week aside from some anxiety upon waking, and one 3AM surge of panic. It’s the strangest thing to wake up anxious and spent the first 30 seconds feeling and fearing that things are going to spiral out of control (withdrawal style) only for it to suddenly pass as if that 30 seconds hadn’t been a thing.  WTF, brain?! 
 

I waited an extra day to drop. I am a little nervous about those 30 seconds becoming 60 seconds or all day, but I can bump back up to 7mg if need be. 

I dropped to 6.8. I can’t figure out how to get the .03 in there. Hopefully, .03 won’t trip me up. If anyone knows how to do .01 etc., let me know.

[Thorin]

1 hour ago, Addax said:

Decent week aside from some anxiety upon waking, and one 3AM surge of panic. It’s the strangest thing to wake up anxious and spent the first 30 seconds feeling and fearing that things are going to spiral out of control (withdrawal style) only for it to suddenly pass as if that 30 seconds hadn’t been a thing.  WTF, brain?! 

Have definitely experienced this. Haven’t had it in a good while now though thankfully. I hate it.

[Addax]

I thought I figured out the .03mg thing with a 1ml syringe. However, upon preparing my dose this morning I realized it was .3mg, putting me at 7.1 rather than 6.8, yesterday. Sooo… I took 7.0 today and will do so until my next scheduled drop on Friday. ((Sigh)). I don’t think there will be consequences because it was 7.0 a day off 7.1, then back to 7.0, but we will see.

[Addax]

It was a good week, and despite several anxiety provoking situations, withdrawal symptoms did not spike, so I felt like I was in a good place to drop. Dropped to 6.8mg yesterday, and so far so good.