Jump to content
SurvivingAntidepressants.org is temporarily closed to new registrations until 1 April ×

LexAnger: tapering or no tapering, generic vs. name brand lexapro


LexAnger

Recommended Posts

All my dear SA friends,

I can't express my heartfelt appreciation to each of you for your sincere care, love, support and help pulling me out of the pit of despair while in own horrific battles.

 

After All,  i found its not something i can do for real to leave all my loved ones especially my son and my mom harmed in such a manner.

 

I want to clarify that my main despair is from the disability caused by the back injury, and recent severe reactions to msg and aspartame. If not for the multiple trauma added to the original wd, things could have been very different and likely quite promising in terms of wd. I hope this fact can be encouraging to others. My sincere apology for any distress caused by the lack of clear explanation in my original post.

 

I will continue hanging in as everyone else does. I may need some time away for my extremely vulnerable nerve system,  but will come back whenever possible. 

 

Love you all from bottom of my heart. 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

Thanks again alto!

I will try a DO when I'm able to manage visiting one.

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Please at least see an orthopedist or rehabilitation specialist as soon as possible.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

Hi alto, I went to an spine specilist ( is it the same as an orthopedist) 2 weeks after the injury. He ordered the mri. I saw another one for mri interpretation as the first one was not willing to listen any details and wanted run away immediately entering the room. The 2nd orthopedist told there was some dislocation between l5-l1, and I should be able to run a marathon in 2 months.  Now it's 2.5 months past, I'm still pretty much same except for the pain is not constant and severe. Still can only take vertical position and walk a bit on flat surface. 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

So sorry for what you are going through.  This is such a cruel situation.  I hope you can take a walk today. - Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

Hi Lex,

I was so worried about you!

glad you posted.

so sorry for all that has happened to you lately,that;s terrible.

but I know you're strong and can get through this too.

we love and care about you here and are always here for you.

I pray you get some relief from all this very soon!

never give up!

much love,ds

xx

went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct  back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs.

Link to comment

Hi Lex,

 

I wanted to second what DS has written and thank you for posting to let us know you are ok....I too was very worried about you.  I am really sorry for everything you've been through with Lexapro and now with what has happened since quitting.  You are such a strong person, Lex. I really hope you get some relief very soon.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Lexanger, 

 

Just wanted to say too thanks for posting. Everyone on here has been very worried about you.

 

Im really sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. Glad to hear the pain has subsided a little though. I wish we could do something to help. 

 

Wanted to send you BIG, BIG hugs🤗🤗🤗

 

 

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

Link to comment

Tears allover me receiving so much loving, caring, encouraging and overwhelmingly heartwarming messages! 

 

I just don't have any words to express myself, only to continue being strong until I can be an encouraging success to others.

 

Still in great struggle with most challenging wd sxs that were ramped up by the multiple trauma. Aspartame seems the worst culprit so be extremely careful even no obvious sxs. 

 

I am not able to respond promptly due to the severe nervous breakdown, dp/Dr, insomnia, anxiety and very deliberating physical sxs but you are all in my daily thoughts. Back seems a bit better some days. Hope it continues improving, and with this huge stressor off, my nerve system can calm down too.

 

Love,

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
5 hours ago, LexAnger said:

Tears allover me receiving so much loving, caring, encouraging and overwhelmingly heartwarming messages! 

 

I just don't have any words to express myself, only to continue being strong until I can be an encouraging success to others.

 

Still in great struggle with most challenging wd sxs that were ramped up by the multiple trauma. Aspartame seems the worst culprit so be extremely careful even no obvious sxs. 

 

I am not able to respond promptly due to the severe nervous breakdown, dp/Dr, insomnia, anxiety and very deliberating physical sxs but you are all in my daily thoughts. Back seems a bit better some days. Hope it continues improving, and with this huge stressor off, my nerve system can calm down too.

 

Love,

Lex

 

Hi Lex, 

 

Thanks for your message to everyone, it was lovely. People really have been worried about you. Don’t worry about not being able to respond promptly to messages. I see you are going through so much. 

 

Yes, trauma can certainly ramp up your nervous system. I’m glad to hear your back is a little better though, looks like time is the healer there too. 

 

Sorry anxiety etc is so bad for you now, I too hope that when this trauma settles down a bit the anxiety too will settle. I know when I’ve had really stressful situations my nervous system is so much worse, and I can barely think straight. It does eventually settle again.

 

Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

 

 

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Oh dear LexAnger,

 

Of course I prayed on Sunday past.......... walked outside and with all the muster I could muster sent some positive intentions out there for you.  The next thing I knew there was word that you were online and then.......that you were okay........in that not okay way that many of us have felt at some time or other.

So glad you felt us all carrying you along in your darkness.

 

I used to get sciatica spasms when pregnant, and occasionally after I gave birth many many years ago.  You might notice everything is many many for me now.  B)  What worked for me was to straighten on up and get my back up against a wall........painful as all the movement required to do that was.  Just good posture and back against the wall.  And it worked every time.  Give it a try if you haven't yet.  You never know.......

 

Oh and this, it will surely make you smile:

Monty Python - Ministry of Silly Walks video (4.5 minutes)

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

Link to comment

Oh so dear of you carmine and mmt!

I'm holding the faith still that my body is fighting for it's home state and the sxs will lesson to a level I can manage. 

 

You are so right carmie that the natural healing probably the best and some time the only way for true healing. My body is not good taking anything literally except for the clean food so it's the only option I am left with. It can be a good thing although sometimes you feel the great need of fast fix.

 

The video is so hilarious, it put a smile on my miserable face which is very lovely to have. I trumy bive your prayer was heard! Thank you so much for the tip on stretching! I will definitely try it gradually. My lumbar is still very weak now, can't manage much stretching yet, but I do believe stretching is the way to align the muscles properly for the nerve pain. Having too many issues at the moment each prevent from strategy good for the other.

Hope you both are having a fair day! 

 

I want to say that in this most inhumane experience, I found the greatest humanity among everyone. Such a blessing! 

 

Love and hugs

Lex 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment
1 hour ago, LexAnger said:

Oh so dear of you carmine and mmt!

I'm holding the faith still that my body is fighting for it's home state and the sxs will lesson to a level I can manage. 

 

You are so right carmie that the natural healing probably the best and some time the only way for true healing. My body is not good taking anything literally except for the clean food so it's the only option I am left with. It can be a good thing although sometimes you feel the great need of fast fix.

 

The video is so hilarious, it put a smile on my miserable face which is very lovely to have. I trumy bive your prayer was heard! Thank you so much for the tip on stretching! I will definitely try it gradually. My lumbar is still very weak now, can't manage much stretching yet, but I do believe stretching is the way to align the muscles properly for the nerve pain. Having too many issues at the moment each prevent from strategy good for the other.

Hope you both are having a fair day! 

 

I want to say that in this most inhumane experience, I found the greatest humanity among everyone. Such a blessing! 

 

Love and hugs

Lex 

 

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

Link to comment

That last sentence is what will sustain you in the darkest times. Well said!

 

Humanity  has stepped up big time  to rally around you, Lex. Grab onto anyone and anything that will keep you moving forward.  I hope you find someone or something to

help you do so.  This IS an in-humane experience we are going through but we are here on earth to help each other. Despite your inhumane struggle, you continue to nurture others. You are an inspiration to many. 

 

Grace

 

 

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

Link to comment

Thinking of you.  Wish I could take it all way and leave you with nothing but blissful relaxation. -R

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

Dear Grace and rosetta,

I hear your every word and am now open to help as i really can't handle by my own ability and strength. I was a hard headed type in asking and accepting assistance in general including the great struggling these years but now I know I have to change. This may be a way God planned for me to welcome great people to my life! 

 

Last Saturday when I was in deepest despair, your messages came for rescue along with many others, i showed them to my son, he commented by saying 'that is really nice'. I know how he meant as he is a man of not using big word in praising.

 

It happened last Saturday was also my birthday. I requested to be home alone as i was so unwell, but my son still came with flowers, cakes, and a card with message of understanding, love, support and encouragement that brought  all my tears every time I read it. My friends all around plumbed in for various help too showing their support.

 

Everyone here either in the front or behind the scene held me up with their own wondered soul and body. 

 

So I know I have to stay even stronger. I have been thinking about the meaning and purpose of all these suffering for all of us. Except for the bloody lessons I learned that can save others  lives by spreading the danger and educating others, I think it also is for me to experience and accept true friendship, love and humanity.

 

Love 

Lex

 

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment
34 minutes ago, LexAnger said:

So I know I have to stay even stronger. I have been thinking about the meaning and purpose of all these suffering for all of us. Except for the bloody lessons I learned that can save others  lives by spreading the danger and educating others, I think it also is for me to experience and accept true friendship, love and humanity.

This is so beautiful, Lex.  Thinking of you - WR.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

Link to comment

Yep...acceptance...of help, of what has happened to us, of the possibility of hope, and the fact that, though inhumane, our purpose just may be to help and even educate others. I often wish this could be someone else’s purpose, but it is what it is. We are here to help others. Hopefully the recent deaths of a few “famous people” (whose lives were no more or less important than anyone else’s) will make a dent in the compassion and understanding society lacks for mental illness and even chronic pain. I often tell my husband I think I need to shave my head for people to respect, and not dismiss, my chronic pain and depression issues. 

 

You are re-framing last Saturday. It took you less than a week to bounce back. You WILL survive, Lex. 

 

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

Link to comment

Oh grace, thank you so much!

even I'm in the same depth of struggling, I found once I lowered my expectation, meaning accepting the situation that I would not think I could, I lived through the past few days. So you are so right about acceptance!

 

i hope it's just a bad tornado taking its course and is moving out of my path.

 

hope you are coping well!

lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

Almost every day is different for me. I never know what to expect so I have accepted that that is how I have to live and it makes it easier.  If others don’t accept me as I am, I choose not to include them in my life. 

 

Yes, acceptance is key!  

 

Keep fighting the good fight. 

 

Grace

 

 

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

Link to comment
On 6/14/2018 at 9:24 AM, LexAnger said:

 

i hope it's just a bad tornado taking its course and is moving out of my path.

 

 

 

I hope so too - and SOON!  So many times it seems like one tsunami after another!  Cling to whatever piece of driftwood you can find and when the lifeboat arrives, climb in!

 

 Just wanted to drop in and say sorry I've not been able to keep up with posts but still keeping on with you and standing with you through your horrendous journey and pray that some light soon begins to shine for you.  much love and big hug x

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

Link to comment
On 6/14/2018 at 6:56 AM, LexAnger said:

 I have been thinking about the meaning and purpose of all these suffering for all of us. Except for the bloody lessons I learned that can save others  lives by spreading the danger and educating others, I think it also is for me to experience and accept true friendship, love and humanity.

 

 

I hope you might get something from this sermon.  It helped me but I still don't get it right all the time!  I think the bottom line to our suffering is we have two choices, either to get better or get bitter.  I have noticed my tendeny is to get bitter, so I have LEARNED THAT MUCH!  Now to ask God to help me change that!  I think this depends a lot on our nature, personality and upbringing.  Not that easy, for sure!  Like you I am asking the Lord to help me a "flower of acceptance with joy"!!

Adversity - Charles Stanley.docx

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

Link to comment

Ah, acceptance!  That is hard to hold onto, but it does help us through this.  I hope today is easier for you, Lex.  Remember also compassion for yourself.  You are doing the best you can and that is good enough!  I'm very impressed with your fortitude and your willingness to look at the problem from different angles.  Acceptance is a choice.  Compassion for one's self is a choice.  Choose them.  You deserve them and the peace they bring, Lex.  I think it's pretty clear that your son thinks the world of you.  That convinces me that you are pretty special!  Give yourself what no one else can -- self love and kindness.

Peace, Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

How are you, Lex?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

My eyes wet again reading the caring, understanding and wise messages from you all grace, grandmad, rosseta! God bless your hearts my dear friends and peer worior! 

 

So to keep everyone updated, here is an update.

 

9 months since stopping lex

3 months since back injury and reaction to mri

2 months since 3 msg reactions,

1 month since aspartame reaction

 

 

I'm still in great struggle everyday and minute. Trying to make through each day is all I aim to.  by end of the day I would claim a victory and thankful if the sxs lesson some to regain a glimpse of strength and hope.

 

The new sxs from the recent reactions losing consiceness, hearing, seizures like, high anxiety, heat pounding and shortness of breath  are not as terrifying or constant as the past few weeks.

 

Anxiety died down wuote a lot so much that I can sleep normal hours most night and not waking up with nervours breakdown. Even when i cant skeep, its a pure insomnia without anxiety feeling. I'm getting more peace with the back injury not feing depressed as often. So overall mentally there are good improvement. Yesterday on the way home from sauna, I was so disconnected and didn't buck up. I don't panic even being caught by police. 

 

The original wd sxs are still 10 times more intense and long lasting, Very unbearable needling pain, headache, body aches, severe numb, muscle spasm, burning, shortness, ear pain, and hearing, stiffness and tightness, swollen. These combined with the back pain, and the pains from piriformis and the very strange twist feeling from sciatic dislocation, 

 

I used to be able to take care of myself by doing the very basic stiff like grocery shopping, cooking and dishes during the little period when the sxs are not completely disabling, but now it's very difficult as those little breaks are not there most of days. I'm getting help from friends for groceries now and cooking the simplest food possible without much cooking involving. I use my limited energy for sauna still as the pain is very hard to bear and sauna is the only thing helps. Many days I have to go twice to get through the day.

 

The lambar is healing nicely which is helping greatly with both mental and physical. I can walk more normally when wd sxs allows. 

 

So am I better now than the past month? I would think so even I'm still highly disabled and in great pain everyday like never. The lessoning of the mental sxs is huge in how I feel the overall condition.

 

I keep thinking why my situation is so extreme even I slow tapered the lex and jumped at such a low dose. I wonder if it can be even worse if I cold turkey without tapering. Did the taper actually help at all?  On the other hand, I also wonder if I tapered too fast the last 3.2mg in 1.5 years. 

 

Will never get an answer but still wonder.

 

Hope everyone is coping better.

Love,

Lex

 

 

 

 

 

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

Lex, thanks for posting as I was also wondering how you are.  It is so heart-breaking to read your posts, it makes me so sad and so mad!!

 

I can't believe it has been 9 months since you stoppped the Lex!  That is unbelievable.  Do you think what you are going through is from stopping and it has accumulated and caught up with you.  Surely it couldn't be just the msg and the aspartame? 

 

Your symptoms are still horrific, just the same and my heart goes out to you.  Many of them similar to my experience.

 

It is interesting about your insomnia as I am having similar to you - awake and no sleep but without the anxiety and palpitations, so I don't mind it!  It is nice to be able to sleep even if it is for a bit longer than before!

 

I don't know how you are able to do this, knowing myself about stiffness, muscle pain, cramps and spasms, the nervous shooting pains and  needling, etc. plus the back pain!  I'm glad the sauna's help, at least.  And glad you have some friends to help you, what a blessing.  Imagine if you didn't have anyone, how would a person cope?  I know if I didn't have my hubby I would've starved and not paid bills.

 

3.2 in 1.5 years too fast?  Not sure.  What % taper were you doing and how often?  I went down 1mg a year for first 2 years and since then been coming down .5mg so that would add up to 1.25mg over 1.5years about half of what you did.  I've been doing a 2.5% taper.  You went twice as fast so it must have been a 5% taper???  Which is still considered a slow taper!  I just wonder if it was that last 1mg that you tapered very rapidly that was the cause and it is catching up with you.  I know when I did a CT from a full dose it was 6 months before I started to go down hill and then it hit me like a tsunami out of hell suddenly.

 

Please continue to sauna,rest, relax and WAIT this out, painful and difficult as it is.  I trust that time will go quickly and begin to ease off.  Big hug and much love xxx

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

Link to comment

Hi Lex, I feel so much compassion for you. Its an incredible journey you have had getting off  this Lex. Its amazing how you have coped. You really do sound like you are struggling through each day. 

 

I hope today might be a bit easier for you. I can't believe the world doesn't know about all these medications, how hard, and nearly impossible it is to come off them all.   Its an international disaster. I feel sorry for every single one of us on SA. It is a real shame we are all struggling like this. 

Risperidone 1mg    (since July 2017)

                      1.5mg 7th Feb 2018

                      1mg     28th March 2018

               1st 10% mgpw (pill weight) drop 21 april 0.205mg - 0.184mg

 

Gabapentin 900mg  (since April 2015)

                      600mg  1st April 2018

                      300mg.  5th May 2018  lasted 2.5 weeks. 

                      900mg.  25th. May 2018  reinstated to original long term dose.

Amyltryptline 30 mg (since August 2015)

Link to comment

Dear grandmad, hearing your caring words soothe my soul and heart! 

 

I know you have been going through as much all these years and it breaks my heart to think of it each time! I hope your long holding provides a bit relief and you will see another nice window soon! I can't imagine I can endure this much for this long without knowing your aspiration and strength.

 

Although I would never know for sure, my gut feeling is, the recent setback is the main cause of this most challenging time. Among all these incidents, aspartame caused the major and greatest damage to my already sensitized system, and the back pain has been causing huge and continuous mental anxiety and depression along with worded physical sxs as i couldn't exercise or get out to cope the original wd. 

 

If not experiencing it myself, I wouldn't believe aspartame can be so deadly. Of course the magnitude of the damage is also due to my weakened system from wd. 

 

Without the back injury and severe pain it caused, my mental status would be 100% better, or should I say I wouldn't have had mental sxs at all. Every single mental attach was triggered by the thought of the back injury.

 

So I don't think my current situation was caused by cumulative effects of lex wd. My pre setback wd was still bad, but it was different and manageable. I had no mental sxs, even with heavy physical sxs, I was able to handle the basics with a light routine like going to office every other day, chatting with coworkers a bit, taking care of very light work writing emails, meeting with my son on weekend for lunch, going to gym every evening. Even all those takes great effort but I still could push and make it. Now I can't do any of those and really struggle to get through each day just staying alive and feeding myself.

 

Thankfully I'm seeing slight improvements in wd sxs these couple days. But the sciatic joints pain and buttock miscle pain is causing more disabilities and mental stress than wd does now. I cant even lying down now without triggering the pain. Sleeping is constantly disturbed by the pain which triggeres anxiety then messes up the healing from wd.

 

Still can't bieve all the mess caused by a quick visit to physical therapist. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

Hi sunnylou, 

Thank you so much for your continuous support! 

 

As incredible as the wd agony, I'm more struggling over the back injury and all the crazy pain and mental and other physical harm it caused. 

 

Another round of experience with medical professionals of all types, they only do more harms than help! 

 

So many doctors visits, the most they can and would do is not able to do anything including a careful evaluation and serious diagnose, if not harm you in any ways.

 

This world is getting really sin in this field.

 

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment
3 hours ago, LexAnger said:

Dear grandmad, hearing your caring words soothe my soul and heart! 

What a sweet soul you are and such a gratefull heart you have despite your distress, may God bless you and send healing on His wings to you! x

I know you have been going through as much all these years and it breaks my heart to think of it each time! I hope your long holding provides a bit relief and you will see another nice window soon! I can't imagine I can endure this much for this long without knowing your aspiration and strength.

I don't consider myself strong at all, actually.  I just want to get off this poison, and I am determined to do so.  However, like you it causes mental anguish when I think about the suffering of myself and others from being put on a drug we should never have been put on.  So many times I've toyed with the idea of CT and be done with it, but I am too scared based on times I've tried to go from 2.5% up to 5% taper and another time I felt great after a 3 week taper so I tapered (instead of waiting 8weeks as usual) and I went downhill and ended up doing a 6 month hold.  Same thing happened another time after a 6 week taper when I felt good...  I also am convinced that the tablet is toxic and causing damage, but a mod has told me it's such a small dose, not to worry about that.

Although I would never know for sure, my gut feeling is, the recent setback is the main cause of this most challenging time. Among all these incidents, aspartame caused the major and greatest damage to my already sensitized system, and the back pain has been causing huge and continuous mental anxiety and depression along with worded physical sxs as i couldn't exercise or get out to cope the original wd. 

I think you are right.  Back pain is very debilitating and causes depression, I have experienced that myself as you know.  I guess that is just a matter of time and rest for your back injury to heal.  I once went to physio for my back pain (before being put on a/d) and was given traction and this caused such damage I still suffer from that with sciatica, leg pain and constant aching.  Just so you don't go have traction ....!!!

If not experiencing it myself, I wouldn't believe aspartame can be so deadly. Of course the magnitude of the damage is also due to my weakened system from wd. 

What is that anyway?  Is that fake sugar?  Yes, I still don't get just how weak my system is.

Without the back injury and severe pain it caused, my mental status would be 100% better, or should I say I wouldn't have had mental sxs at all. Every single mental attach was triggered by the thought of the back injury.

I understand that completely and it sure makes sense.  As you heal your attitude will also.

So I don't think my current situation was caused by cumulative effects of lex wd. My pre setback wd was still bad, but it was different and manageable. I had no mental sxs, even with heavy physical sxs, I was able to handle the basics with a light routine like going to office every other day, chatting with coworkers a bit, taking care of very light work writing emails, meeting with my son on weekend for lunch, going to gym every evening. Even all those takes great effort but I still could push and make it. Now I can't do any of those and really struggle to get through each day just staying alive and feeding myself.

I would have to agree that your previous w/d was going ok.  Not wonderful, but you were able to accomplish many things.

Thankfully I'm seeing slight improvements in wd sxs these couple days. But the sciatic joints pain and buttock miscle pain is causing more disabilities and mental stress than wd does now. I cant even lying down now without triggering the pain. Sleeping is constantly disturbed by the pain which triggeres anxiety then messes up the healing from wd.

I'm sorry to hear that you cannot even lie down.  I was like that before I was put on the a/d (and I must admit - the a/d helped with the constant back spasms).  At least now days I can lie down and get some relief.  It is just the constant relentless pain that I think is so unbearable and gets to us.  Can you tolerate any painkillers or anti-inflammatorys?

Still can't bieve all the mess caused by a quick visit to physical therapist. 

So true! 

Look after yourself, you are so precious and much loved my myself and I'm sure many others here! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

Link to comment

Hi LexAnger,im so sorry and sad to hear that your pain sufferring.You are really too strong to make it through during these difficultly. im really hope and wish you will getting better improvement soon. Eat healthier, relax, stay away stress and take more rest. Hugs and take care.😙

Mid December 16 lorezapam 1mg and lexapro 5mg

Early April17 updosed lorezapam 2mg, mid Apr17 taper 1.5mg, mid May17-1.25mg, early Jun17- 1mg, mid Jun17-0.75mg, mid July17-0.5mg, End July 17 reduce from 0.4mg, 0.3mg,0.2mg until 0.1mg.lorezapam free on 9 August 2017.

Early Mar17 updosed to Lexapro 10mg , end Mar17 reduced 7.5mg, mid May17 reduced 0.5mg, End Aug17 reduced 2.5mg, early Sep17 -1.5mg, Mid Sept-1mg, End Sept - 0.5mg .lexapro free on 26 September 2017

 

Supplement- omega fish oil and magnesium citrate only.

Link to comment

oshh i forgot.😊3.2mg for 1.5yrs taper is too fast...i dont think.For me i taper too or super fast because i used only 1 month ++ to taper my 5mg lexapro. Now only still floating in the sea with waves together.Take care. 

Mid December 16 lorezapam 1mg and lexapro 5mg

Early April17 updosed lorezapam 2mg, mid Apr17 taper 1.5mg, mid May17-1.25mg, early Jun17- 1mg, mid Jun17-0.75mg, mid July17-0.5mg, End July 17 reduce from 0.4mg, 0.3mg,0.2mg until 0.1mg.lorezapam free on 9 August 2017.

Early Mar17 updosed to Lexapro 10mg , end Mar17 reduced 7.5mg, mid May17 reduced 0.5mg, End Aug17 reduced 2.5mg, early Sep17 -1.5mg, Mid Sept-1mg, End Sept - 0.5mg .lexapro free on 26 September 2017

 

Supplement- omega fish oil and magnesium citrate only.

Link to comment

Oh dear grandmad, your words are like from an angel! My heart is filled with so much warmth and tenderness and the feeling of beloved by the kindest soul and heat! Thank you so much my dear friend for offering the most precious love, care and support!

 

I can't believe you had a similar experience with the physio on your back! Its so heartbreaking the amount of trust we can have in the medical professionals for our health and lives! I hope it's now only history for you and your back is fully healed by time.

 

Yes, aspartame is the artificial sweetener. Please watch out for this evil substance. It's in all kinds of products, the so called sugar free, diet food or drinks. Together with msg, both are exitoneurotin that kill Neuro cells by over exciting them.

 

Giving all the reactions I had to almost everything including vitamins, I have to stay away from all meds including pain killers. I am just too scared of messing up the wd even more.

 

Thank you for the warning about traction! I will 've very cautious about pretty much everything except for natural healing. 

 

I hope your sxs are manageable lately. I wish so much there is a miracle that I can take away all the pains and agony from you. Its so unfair for the most beloved person and a tender soul to go through this!

 

Lots love and big hugs! 

Lex 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

Hi miracle, 

 

Thank you so much for your kind words and support! 

 

How are you lately? I pray things turn suddenly for lots better like a miracle as your user name calls! 

 

Yeah, this thing is so confusing I will never know what it would be like if I tapered differently. Guess for now just to look forward and keep moving. 

 

Sending you healing vibe and lots hugs!

 

Lex

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

Lex, maybe you are in the 10 month wave a bit early.  That means it should end pretty soon, I hope.  Thinking of you!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

Thank you so much rosseta for your kind thoughts and encouragement!

 

I hope today is a better day for you!

 

I did feel slight improvement in wd in the area of spirit for the past couple days seeimg some improvement of my back issue, but mow back to the trap again feeling anxious since last night triggered by the back issue that worsened from a stretching exercise in the therapist.

 

All my mental is caused by and goese with the back problem amd worry about its not healing. Then the whole wd thing goes with my mental. 

 

I simply can't find a way to distract, as my body constantly feels the pain, numb, and wrong sensation of the back etc. Regardless what position I take or not able to take.

 

 

Can't believe the harm this therapist caused me! 

 

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy