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anacleta: Desperate with PSSD


anacleta

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I'm 26 years old, Italian female. i help me with google translate .

I took abilify (10 ml) from March 2013 and citalopram ( only 8 drops ) from April 2013.

I began to see the sexual side effects starting citalopram .

first drug I masturbate every day and I had many orgasms.

with medication, suddenly I have never masturbated , with no sexual stimulation .

I found my first boyfriend this year, and I climbed the drugs because I wanted to live my life one of my greatest and deepest desires : to live sexuality so intense and full with passion and involvement .

in February 2014 I was only 4 drops of citalopram.

I suspended citalopram 3 MONTHS AGO , abilify 2 months ago.

and my sexuality has not come back.

NO LONGER ABLE TO BE horny .

My body no longer responds to visual stimulation , porn videos , fantasies, stroking by the boy : (

after the suspension I've tried masturbating almost every day , and I saw that I can achieve orgasm after a very prolonged stimulation of the clitoris, but without excitement is not very pleasant , indeed sometimes it is forced and almost give up without reaching orgasm. once, I reached in a few minutes , but now I can put even 30 minutes or 1 hour! is horrible : ( the thing that hurts me the most is not being able to be arousal .

I am distressed for 2 months , I feel deprived of a most valuable part of myself. I have ALWAYS dreamed of one day living sexuality shared . sexuality that grew up with me, that has always made me want, daydream , explore my body and pleasure . and now that I have the opportunity to live with a guy , MY sexuality is no longer with me.
I feel mutilated , castrated . and I think about suicide every day, because I know that the PSSD can last for years or forever.

I'm sorry to even leave my testimony full of despair and pessimism, on this forum : (but this is .

perhaps a few decades , doctors and pharmaceutical companies open their eyes to this injustice and find a solution but in the meantime .... I and others are the victims PSSD with no solution.

someone tells me that " 3 months of the suspension are few , I can hope to heal ." but I have lost my sexuality for over a year ! and I do not read people who say they have recovered after a few months of the suspension .. but I read people who claim to NOT be recovered after many years ...

Tomorrow morning I begin to take bupropion, one of the few hopes I have left . I 'll let you know . I would not want to die, I want to live , live my sexuality , passion , enjoy, love : (

 

ps. I had no withdrawal symptoms with abilify, or with citalopram.
only this horrible PSSD and I would not call it a withdrawal symptom

 

thanks for listening

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Please, I would not recommend trying bupropion. You say you're only 2-3 months off. That is very early and not long enough to be trying medication. Listen, pills are the reason for your problems, pills are not going to be the solution to them. If you were many years out and with had no improvements, perhaps that would be a different story entirely however its just too early to be experimenting when your body might be trying to heal. 

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I empathize the pain you must be going through since i also have PSSD that hasn't improved yet. However, i've read and heard of many cases where it tooks many years to heal, but they still healed nevertheless and thats a lot better than having to rely on medication for sex. Live healthily, sleep, relax, eat well, etc and allow time for you body to rebalance. I know 2-3 months seems like much but you had an adverse reaction to these medications which can take a long time to resolve. 

 

Hang in there.

2010 - citalopram 10mg 
2011 - 20-40mg, 1 month taper, PSSD & Anhedonia - Elavil 10mg during taper.
Clonazepam when needed after a month of daily use. 
2012 - Off Elavil - Zoloft (sertraline) 25mg - 50 mgs for 6 months + Buspar for a while. Pssd & anhedonia improved on zoloft, now has gotten a lot worse since a year off. 

 

Off all drugs since October 2012.

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chemistry thanks, I'm already taking bupropion for 3 days. I really can not do to wait for years with the option to NOT see improvements. I think about suicide every day for this monstrous condition that I find myself living.
 

my sexuality has been wiped out, how can I live with this privation and castration? I will not resign myself to this.

 

I'm sorry for you too : (

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Dearest Ana, i feel your pain. I really do. I have this too, although not as severe as you.

 

Drugs will not solve your problem. It can potentially make it worse. Chemistry gave you good advise Stay drug free, eat well, go into therapy. You will get better. I do not believe PSSD is permanent at all. Stay away from all drugs and you will heal.

Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010

Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks

Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better.

Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION

Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012

Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill 

Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma

Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 

 

6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms

Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged 

 

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Yeah i'd just like to add. 

 

You said : "and I do not read people who say they have recovered after a few months of the suspension"

 

I have seen many who took less than  6 months to see improvements. Many. Those people are probably more common then those who have long term issues, because sexual side effects with anti depressants are very common. Most people get better within the first 6-12 months. Some take longer to heal, sometimes much longer. I understand your pain, I understand how you feel trust me, its just so early to experiment with other drugs. It's not worth the risk. You can heal. try to stay positive. theres a life after these meds. Hang in there. 

2010 - citalopram 10mg 
2011 - 20-40mg, 1 month taper, PSSD & Anhedonia - Elavil 10mg during taper.
Clonazepam when needed after a month of daily use. 
2012 - Off Elavil - Zoloft (sertraline) 25mg - 50 mgs for 6 months + Buspar for a while. Pssd & anhedonia improved on zoloft, now has gotten a lot worse since a year off. 

 

Off all drugs since October 2012.

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thanks again, really.

I think that my testimony of despair will have much longer life than me.

I came across this "syndrome" when it is still unknown to medicine. in the future who knows. who will live will see.

I do not think I can live with this disability for other years. because there is no guarantee of recovery, and I do not have faith.

I'm just castrated as a pedophile or a rapist deserve.

if I were stronger, then I could resist and wait to get better. and not only that, I try to make myself useful to others, spreading the news that the PSSD exists even if rare, open an Italian blog of information. follow the research. but I'm not strong.

my life has stopped, because I lost a part of myself that removed meaning to my life and I do not accept it.

so sweet and sad to think autoerotism found out when I was a kid, and all the erotic fantasies that accompanied it, and which have evolved with me, until a little over a year ago. how many dreams about making love with passion.

yes, it seems absurd that bupropion can give me back the response to sexual stimulation, arousal and pleasure. but I'm in a hurry to do this test.

as seems absurd to me that my brain can reconstruct spontaneously where it has been damaged.

I'm almost incredulous of my horrible fate.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Anacleta, I'm not going to argue with you, you sound like you have made up your mind. 

 

Brains do heal and regenerate. I have been doing this work a long time and I have seen it over and over again. People heal. It takes time and care.

 

Good luck to you. We're here if you need us.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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2 weeks of bupropion, no effect good or bad for now.

 

5 days of ALL these supplements:

l-arginine, inositol, ginkgo, ZMA, choline 600mg powder, omega 3, maca, brewer's yeast.

 

no effect for now

 

 

I feel doomed and ruined my life forever ... but with this monstrous condition I will not live long. god I had not suffered enough in my life?

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  • Administrator

Welcome, anacleta.

 

There is no sure cure for PSSD. It's a part of psychiatric drug withdrawal syndrome. You need to let your whole nervous system recover from the drugs. As it recovers, you will see changes in your PSSD.

 

This can take a long time. Trying to hurry it up with drugs and a bunch of supplements sometimes upsets the entire nervous system again. You must be very careful with the supplements.

 

To heal the nervous system, many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

How is your sleep now?
 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I fall asleep late, but  I sleep many hours and sleep is good, I have  many dreams , but I do not do  erotic dreams

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  • Administrator

Don't worry, they'll come back in a while.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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