BCNSurvivor: Why did you decide to quit?

[BCNSurvivor]

Hi to everyone,

 

First time I write in S.A. (I'm from Barcelona, so please forgive my poor English skills). I've been on and off antidepressants (Celexa, Lexapro, recently Zoloft) for the past 10 years. Combined with benzodiazepines, they were initially prescribed to me in order to control insomnia, which my former doctor thought was brought on by anxiety issues (sounds familiar?). At that time, I never had had a real bout of depression. Only then, when I decided to withdraw and quit Celexa for the first time, I knew what the word depression truly means. Had to reinstate, of course, and... well, you know the story. Now I've been 6 months free from 50 mg. Zoloft, and still having issues --mainly psychological ones, and above all insomnia. 

 

I don't know you, but in my case the ADs worked pretty well at managing the anxiety I felt at night. So the question is: why on earth did I decide, again and again, to quit them? In my personal experience (I'm a highschool teacher and a freelance writer), besides the very known sexual side effects, I found that SSRIs numbed my ability to read and to write creatively. I mean, I still could read a good novel, of course, and enjoy it, but in a way I couldn't get deeply into it. Nor could I write anything with the freedom, depth and verbal fluency that I once had. 

 

So the process is always the same: I start taking the AD, feel emotionally better (and important: I need to take less benzos), but then I begin to sense that my creativity and writing skills are impaired, and I want badly to withdraw. 

 

Since I understand not everyone is here for the same reasons, my question is, why did you decide to quit? Since many people benefit from the effects of ADs, and quitting them is so awful, what were the reasons that took you to take the plunge? 

 

[Jemima]

Hello BCN,

 

I've moved your post from the Controversies discussion to Introductions because this is your first post about yourself.  Please continue to post your comments and questions about your own experiences with antidepressant withdrawal here.

 

Quitting antidepressants doesn't have to be awful.  The problem is that most doctors are completely misled by Big Pharma regarding how harmful psychiatric drugs are and how difficult they are to quit.  Please see our topic on the basics of withdrawing safely and comfortably:  Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

The problem with antidepressants that few people understand is that these drugs make structural changes in the brain that take a very long time to reverse.  This means that getting the drug out of your system as quickly as possible leaves the brain floundering without the chemical support it's become used to, and this is where the "awful" comes in.  Taking it slow and steady, even updosing from time to time, is the key to getting off these drugs as comfortably as possible.  Most doctors will tell you to quit within a few weeks and some even recommend taking the dose every other day, then every three days, et cetera, which is the worst possible way to get off these drugs.

 

When you have a chance, please add your psychiatric drug history to your signature, like this:  How to Add Your Drug History to Your Signature  This will help us to help you better when we understand your context.

 

Welcome to the Forum, BCN.  You'll find lots of solid information and friendly support here.