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NervousKitten is nervous and off her meds


NervousKitten

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Sleep has been disrupted lately. Good sleep between 11 pm and 4:30-5am. After waking, its nearly impossible to go to sleep again.

 

Working with the new therapist has produced some good results. I am much more aware of a particular anxiety producing symptom and looks like we are honing in on the first EMDR theme. This is pretty exciting to be able to see where some of my anxiety is coming from and hopefully to experience some relief.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Results from my sleep apnea test were negative, which is good news, but I was hoping for an explanation for my waking and tired feeling. Seeing a therapist weekly instead of every three weeks has also helped me greatly the anxiety I feel is still there, but it's more of a hum rather than screaming. I guess what I need is to feel like I'm heard and supported.

 

This past weekend I ended up back at the ER for sudden dizziness and while I was there my lady-time started. This is starting to look more and more like my monthly is causing my anxiety symptoms. Which would be good news, if I were regular, but since I'm not, I have to start linking anxiety symptoms earlier. I guess I wasn't good idea to go off my birth control around the same time as my Zoloft taper.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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  • Administrator

NK, you might look into vitamin and mineral supplements that are good for menstrual irregularities or pain, and take them regularly, or eat foods that contain them.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you for the suggestion. I will have to do some research as I am leary of taking anything, even supplements.

 

The past couple of weeks I have felt like I had missed out on a great deal of my life by being on the antidepressants. I don't know how to handle many of my emotions and really fail to see how I could have learned how to while I was on the numbing effects of antidepressant use. Having said that, I'm really doubting myself and my continued non-use. How much damage am I doi g to my body by being in this constant state of arousal and anxiety. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow, so i think i will discuss this with him.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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  • 5 months later...

It's been a few months since I have updated and I am still off of the Zoloft and seem to be doing well with self-care. The windows have been longer, however since the windows are the norm, when a wave comes, it's very challenging to remind myself that it will pass: that the waves used to be as long as my windows. These waves along with some of my social anxiety have got me thinking that I should be back on the medication, and that's a frightening thought. I imagined being off the meds and eventually getting to this point in my recovery and being a new person, but I'm not. I'm just as shy and have the same anxiety symptoms as before.

 

It's a long road without chemical support... lots of work through talk therapy and my EMDR therapy, eating well, making sure I've gotten enough sleep, recognizing irrational thoughts and counter acting them. The trips to the emergency room because I can't calm myself or wake up in a panic don't help either.  I have gotten much better at calming myself when I feel a crisis coming on, so I guess there's that.

 

I suppose the new behaviors will become second nature at some point. I'm feeling a little low right now since I thought I would be so much better. Feeling like this does beat withdraw symptoms though, and I guess that might give some people hope that the pain ends.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Nervous Kitten - meouw!

 

Just a few thoughts:  Your Qvar is a steroid and can be activating......

 

Make a note of the times of anxiety.  Is it anywhere near your dose of Qvar?  Or the day after an ativan (ativan withdrawal?).  It's a really excellent sign that you are getting windows  now, be patient - that means that your brain is normalizing - but BE PATIENT, it could take a year or so (give or take) before you are totally free of the damage from the AD.
 
I, too, get these "palpitations" or strong heart beats - but it is never over 100 bpm (you said yours was up to 96), and my blood pressure is never high.  I just call it "uncomfortable heartbeat" and at this point, the only thing I can do is wait for it to stop.  96 is NOT shocking, even if you are young - they wanted me to get up to 145 on my recent stress test (and I'm an old fart!).  And when I took hubby to ER for the same thing "uncomfortable heartbeat" or "palpitations," they practically laughed at him (behind his back) and told him not to come back unless it was real.  And this was in a man who has had a stroke.
 
I would encourage you - Petunia said this too:  Learn not to call your symptoms "anxiety" or "panic."  These are medical words that are so vague as to be almost meaningless.  Feel your heart beat.  Or the electricity under your skin, or your firing nerves or zapped/zapping brain.  Yes, these are darned uncomfortable, but I think rushing to the ER will make it difficult for you to learn to wait through it.  I don't know your age - but so far they've found nothing, right?  Be encouraged - you are well and healthy (even when you feel like crap).  Many of us get medical tests done during withdrawal to make sure we aren't dying (when we're convinced we really are!), but at some point you're still going to need to wait it out.
 
EMDR is awesome.  I have a friend in Phillippines who survived earthquakes and tsunamis and floods and storms and had her house flooded twice who gets anxiety now, and EMDR is excellent management for that.  Also I know they are using it on returning veterans, when they have post-war symptoms.  Do you now have some EMDR that you can do at home?  Hubby's brother has an arrow chart that he uses twice a day to "reset" his left / right brain attention.
 
There are other things you can do at home, while you are waiting to heal. 
 
Gentle calming yoga:  
 
 
A guided meditation for acceptance of symptoms:
 
Your 4:30 am wakeup with cortisol - can you do an EMDR exercise, or a mindfulness exercise, or something and then go back to sleep?  I haven't read everyone's thread - but this 4:30 am cortisol wake-up seems to be classically common.  My personal cortisol is exactly the opposite of yours, but to read about what others have done for their cortisol, and what their experiences are like, try here:
 
 
In fact, most of your symptoms seem to be fairly common (if scary) withdrawal symptoms.  It's awesome that you are able to work through this, now if we can just keep you out of ER!
 
You say you are reluctant to take anything at all - and yet every now and then you ask us about celexa or zoloft or another AD.  Seriously, if you want to stay off AD's, try some magnesium and fish oil.  You can start them slow, like 1/2 tab of magnesium, try it for a week or two, then add a fish oil for a week or two, then if this is working and settling in with you, you can add more if you like.  The magnesium is required for nearly ALL of the neurotransmitters and neuron firing of the brain and is an essential element to your healing.  If you would consider celexa (a dangerous drug) then why not try magnesium (an essential mineral)?  Just be sure you don't get mag oxide, the common cheap form - it's pretty much worthless.
 
A bonus benefit is that magnesium is good for your heart.  You can probably feel that when you take an epsom salts bath, that it helps calm your heart (which is a muscle) right down.
 
To learn more about why magnesium and fish oil and what kinds, try here:
 
Sorry for all the links - it seems like you are doing really well, I thought I would load you up with some tools to help you get through this!

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Thanks for the links JanCarol, it  helps to see what other see when I share about my experience. It's hard to see above the temporary lows sometimes.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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Cortisol morning this morning. My anxiety has been ramping up lately and I'm very grateful for the reminders from JanCarol. 

 

I've been keeping a journal of my symptoms and I haven't started any new meds, changed my diet or exercise, my stress level is about the same as well. The only thing I can attribute it to is longer daylight hours or some sort of hormonal imbalance, or a wavish type thing. What makes me think it's a wave is that my desire to go back on the Zoloft has become strong. 

 

My symptoms:

  • Horrific nightmares (dead babies, sudden storms with impossibly black clouds, catastrophic flooding)
  • Waking hallucinations (giant fuzzy spiders crawling into the corners of my room)
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Persistent choking sensation/palpitations
  • Low level anxiety (thankfully no panic attacks)
  • A little weight gain (2 lbs in two weeks, probably from eating convenience/comfort foods)
  • Becoming despondent (not caring if my anxiety symptoms hurt me or not)

 

I think my strategy to get a better handle on this is to clean up my sleep hygiene:

  • Finding light sources that could be disturbing me
  • Not using my cell phone in bed
  • Not eating for 2 hours before bed
  • Meditation with epsom salt footbaths before bed
  • Gentle stretching

These recurrent symptoms are a cake walk compared to what I was experiencing then I first came on here. But it's very, very hard to keep going when they keep coming up.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi NK,

I'm sorry you are dealing with a nasty wave, I don't know why, but many of us seem to be going through a particularly rough patch at the moment, I've noticed it here and on other sites I frequently visit.  I'm happy you have stayed strong and Zoloft free :) this wave will pass, like they always do.  I can't improve on  the excellent advice JanCarol has offered.

 

One thing I'm a little confused about, in your signature you have '2014 June Ativan', what does this mean?  Did you stop taking it, start taking it, are you still taking it?

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Today has been hard for me. The palpitations (skipped/extra beat about 3-5 times a minute) are still there, and now my chest hurts from being tense all the time, which is creating this really bad negative feedback loop. I've done a good job not panicking about it though. I checked my medical record as I know I've had palpitations in the past and noticed that they happened around February of last year too. There must be something about this time of the year that causes hormonal changes. 

 

Last night I did epsom salts foot soak and a 5 minute meditation. This helped me to get to sleep and I had normal dreams, but I didn't sleep very well. This is so frustrating and at times unbearable. I do know that every time I successfully get through these episodes, my brain has created a new pathway and this will help me in the long run. It's the constant reminding myself that it's just old behavior is very laborious. 

 

 

One thing I'm a little confused about, in your signature you have '2014 June Ativan', what does this mean?  Did you stop taking it, start taking it, are you still taking it?

 

I have the pills still to take in an emergency i.e. if I am convinced I need to go to the ER, I will take an Ativan and if my symptoms don't resolve somewhat, I will go to the ER. I do everything in my power to use my breathing tools instead. I haven't taken one since November of 2014 though, so I think it's just there for comfort.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks for explaining that NK, perhaps you could add a note to your signature that they are just for emergency use, it will save having to explain it again if someone else asks.

 

I'm sorry you've had a difficult day and glad you made it through, I know this is hard, I'm going through the same thing.  I love what you say here:

 

 I do know that every time I successfully get through these episodes, my brain has created a new pathway and this will help me in the long run.

 

... because its true.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Thanks for the tip Petu, I'll add it to my signature.

 

The palpitations had started to subside on Monday night, but I ended up freaking myself out by checking my pulse before bed and it was 54. So I called the advice nurse and they recommended that I see my doctor. I came very prepared to my appointment the next day as I have been keeping pretty good record of all of my symptoms. He was able to tell me what was concerning and what was not and he helped me to understand the results from my holter monitor I had a little over 6 months ago. During that monitor, my heart rate was as low as 47, so this is normal for me. 

 

And I just realized something very validating. From all the tests I've had, I can see where my baseline is; and that's most important, not what normal is for anyone else. My "normal" has changed from when I was on ADs and I seem to have a very hard time accepting that.  My body in it's no medication homeostatic state is taking some getting used to. These sensations are normal, for me, and I need to learn how to cope with that. The combination of not having the AD buffering these sensations and my hyperawareness of my body caused by the withdrawal symptoms has made acceptance very challenging.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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Today my symptoms are very low :D  and although this is exciting, I've noticed that my brain is trying to sabotage it with thoughts of events from my past that I can't control. I'm so used to my default being panic that I have no idea how to act when things are okay. It makes me think that all the years of ADs made me very lazy when it comes to self-regulating my emotions and processing old trauma.

 

Right now, things are okay: I am employed and go to work everyday; I have two really great cats; I've been making new friends; I've set up and stuck to healthy boundaries with my family; I eat well (admittedly I could be eating better; I get some exercise each day.

 

There are certain things I will never have control over and thinking about them isn't going to help. With all the symptoms I've had over the past year, I suspect that I might started going through perimenopause. I'm only 39, so it's a little early, but I've also never had kids which can be a factor, but the hot flashes, irregular cycle, hair loss and palpitations as well as the anxiety could mean that. But I don't know. A lot of this stuff could be from withdrawal as well. I have a blood test this week to see if ovulation has stopped, so I'll have a better idea of what I'm actually dealing with. 

 

It does make me think about how I've wasted all this time on solving my anxiety and depression instead of having a family. It makes me very sad. And there isn't anything I can do about it. And today, I just need to enjoy this window. It's supposed to be 76 degrees today and sunny. I have a lot to be grateful for.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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Ooh lovely..enjoy the weather..I totally feel the same about time lost etc..if it's any consolation..

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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Thank you Lightandlovely, it is consoling to know that someone else feels that way... I feel alone in this journey.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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Hi NervousKitty,

 

I know what you mean, about having the feeling that you are sabotaging your windows by your own thoughts. 

For me it helps to think that another wave will come, and then another window, and that I can't do anything to change this. This gives me the feeling that I do not have to control things, and I can just let it go...

I have read on this forum the inspiring words that it is already hard enough to handle w/d, that you should not burden yourself with a feeling of "this w/d is even more difficult because I am not doing what i can to make it less difficult".

 

How did the EMDR work for you? Apparantly my CBT-therapist is using this on me right now, and I had no clue what it was :-)

 

Pieuw x

started on 10mg Sipralexa (Lexapro) in january 2010 for general anxiety disorder/panic attacks (possibly burn-out from studying).
stayed on it for 4,5 years.

started to reduce Lexapro with this "schedule" (and ignored doctor's advice to quit in 14 days):
- 10mg to 5mg on 16/07/2014 (no WD symptoms)
- after 8 weeks: 5mg to 2,5mg on 12/09/2014 (
1st week: heavy sweating at night; mood swings (angry), brainfog/derealization)

- after 7 weeks: 2,5mg to 2mg on 03/11/2014 (1st week: heavy sweating at night; from 2nd week on: mild brain zaps, eye floaters, mood swings)
- after 14 weeks: 2mg to 1,5mg on 14/02/2015 (
1st week: heavy sweating at night; from 2nd week on: shaking, trembling, severe anxiety attacks, loss of appetite, insomnia, very depressive feelings; from 3rd week on: shaking and trembling reduced, sometimes a "window" but anxiety always returns, very dark thoughts)

- updosed to 2mg on 07/03/2014

 

supplements: Metarelax (magnesium + Vit B ); Omega 3-fish oil; Sedinal drops in case of extreme anxiety;

acupuncture + CBT  

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Hey Pieuw... the EMDR works really well for me in dealing with some old core themes. Since going through a few sessions about these, I've been able to start working on my panic symptoms. The challenge here is that I can't replicate some of the panic I feel during the sessions, which is important with processing. There is a way to do a type of EMDR by yourself that I'd like to learn so that when I do have my panic, I can process it right after when I feel safe, but still have access to the feelings.  Waiting until my weekly session to use the paddles can be challenging since I do a really good job at thought stoppage (AKA avoiding my feelings).

 

What has your experience been like? 

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

Link to comment

I've only had one session of EMDR last week, but that was before I had learnt anything about w/d on SA, so I was still very anxious and panicky about my condition. Probably too anxious to have a great effect from the EMDR.

I was - and still am - a bit sceptical as well: I'm not really seeing how re-living a childhood memory of my parents leaving me on scoutscamp without saying goodbye, will make me deal with these recent irrational fears I have.

Then again, my therapist is a far relative of my mother's, so I am confident that she only has my healing in mind.

started on 10mg Sipralexa (Lexapro) in january 2010 for general anxiety disorder/panic attacks (possibly burn-out from studying).
stayed on it for 4,5 years.

started to reduce Lexapro with this "schedule" (and ignored doctor's advice to quit in 14 days):
- 10mg to 5mg on 16/07/2014 (no WD symptoms)
- after 8 weeks: 5mg to 2,5mg on 12/09/2014 (
1st week: heavy sweating at night; mood swings (angry), brainfog/derealization)

- after 7 weeks: 2,5mg to 2mg on 03/11/2014 (1st week: heavy sweating at night; from 2nd week on: mild brain zaps, eye floaters, mood swings)
- after 14 weeks: 2mg to 1,5mg on 14/02/2015 (
1st week: heavy sweating at night; from 2nd week on: shaking, trembling, severe anxiety attacks, loss of appetite, insomnia, very depressive feelings; from 3rd week on: shaking and trembling reduced, sometimes a "window" but anxiety always returns, very dark thoughts)

- updosed to 2mg on 07/03/2014

 

supplements: Metarelax (magnesium + Vit B ); Omega 3-fish oil; Sedinal drops in case of extreme anxiety;

acupuncture + CBT  

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Have you done any research on EMDR yet? There are a few articles I've seen that explain why it works on symptoms today when the target is something that happened several years ago. Here are links to Scientific American, and another indepth article.

 

I have no idea why it works on me, even if it's a placebo effect, I don't care. It's worth it to be where I am today.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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Hello lil' wave :(

 

After two no anxiety days I'm starting to get anxious feelings for seemingly no reason. Chest tightness mostly and then ruminating thoughts about what the chest tightness could mean. Went for a walk and that helped a little bit. I seriously had no anxiety, I felt like one of the normals must feel. 

 

I really dislike these feelings. I suspect that it might be caused by hormones and tomorrow I get a blood test done to check my lady-time hormones, Hopefully this will show either low or high numbers and I can attribute these feelings to being a lady  :P

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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Testing came back abnormal, so I guess that's part of the reason for my anxiety.

 

Today is a wave day, palpitations started up again last night and off and on this morning. My doctor mentioned that he could prescribe beta blockers, but I don't think that would be beneficial since my system is still sensitive. This cycle makes me feel insane.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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  • 1 month later...

The past 6 weeks I have improved and in the last two weeks have been feeling so much better. I'm sleepy again! The intense anxious feelings have been replaced by the need for sleep. I haven't been to the ER for anxiety since January. The only change I have made since the last update was that I no longer drink milk on a daily basis. I had read that for my menstrual issues, the hormones in milk could be causing a disruption... so I cut back to one 12 oz cup a week and the sleepiness and less anxious feelings seem to be side effects. 

 

I hadn't had a period for 45 days and within a week of no milk it came back. My second cycle on no milk came on day 27. I'm hoping this keeps up and I'll be somewhat regular from now on. 

 

The psych meds and the birth control were most likely masking the symptoms of my sensitivity to the hormones in cows milk. How bizarre.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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  • Administrator

Good to hear, NK.

 

Could be you have a sensitivity to milk itself. For some people, food sensitivities have a drastic effect. You might want to minimize dairy in your diet.

 

How are your other symptoms?

 

Please stop by often and let us know how you're doing.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I eat a mostly vegan diet now, with occasional hard/dry cheeses for flavor and my once a week mocha treat. These seem to have minimal impact on my symptoms and honestly, the last mocha I had I didn't really enjoy and think my palate is changing. Eliminating meat from my diet also removed a substantial amount of hormones and antibiotics. I've been bad about it lately, but I was minimizing my sugar/white flour intake as well. My time has gotten limited because of school, work and new social activities that have taken time away from preparing whole grain foods that replace the sugar/white flour.

 

My other symptoms have become more manageable... I think because I'm not hopped up on cortisol/stress hormones all the time. The chest tightness still comes up, but now I can see that it happens because of a trigger, not because of some unknown cardiac problem. This awareness helps me to accept that I will die someday, and when that time comes, I'd much rather be focusing on the trees, or birds or the color of the sky instead of on the pain and the unknown because I can't control those things. My diet also helps with coping as well as I eat a diet that is intended for preventing heart disease and is one that someone who had a heart event would be put on, so I feel pretty comfortable that I'm doing everything in my power to not let cardiac events happen. 

 

This extended window has been pretty great actually, and although I might encounter another wave in the future, I know I can handle it.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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  • Administrator

Hurray!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 2 months later...

I have been doing well the past few weeks with some small anxiety-related chest tightness. Today, though, has been challenging. I woke up in a bad mood and now that I'm at work I am having the same chest tightness (that manifests as sudden pain) that I had experienced during the worst of my withdrawal symptoms.  It's very disconcerting and I'm not sure what has triggered it. Some ideas are:

 

1. This would be the first day of my PMS week according to Hormone Horoscope so my hormones are all over the place which I know can be triggering.

2. I've been dealing with constipation lately and have been giving myself gentle abdominal massage and started eating prunes to help move things along. The thought is maybe I've been massaging something out of the fat in my abdomen (like old meds or hormones) that my body just doesn't know what to do with so it's reacting in it's previous way of overreacting.

3. There is something physically wrong with me. I'm not convinced that there is, all my tests point to being healthy so I just need to take a wait and see approach to this. Which is very challenging since I don't want to experience any pain, so I had rushed myself off to the doctor previously.

 

I really hate feeling this way and want to be normal. I am grateful that I have had time to enjoy my life without these symptoms though and am trying to focus on that.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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  • Administrator

Hi, NK.

 

Have you been taking fish oil and magnesium as JanCarol suggested? Both can help with constipation and anxiety, particularly if you also make sure to drink plenty of water.

 

Women with withdrawal syndrome often find their symptoms are worse at certain times in their menstrual cycle.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I'm afraid of fish oil (the possible rancidity of the oils triggers my health anxiety as most research has pointed to rancid oils of all kinds being especially bad for promoting cardiovascular disease) and have given up the magnesium foot baths because I was feeling so good! I guess I'm under a little wave right now and should probably reinstate them until this passes. Thanks for the reminder :)

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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  • Administrator

Ingesting magnesium can help with anxiety and constipation. Foot baths may not get enough mag into you to help constipation.

 

Fish oil generally helps people with withdrawal symptoms. The concerns about rancidity are overblown. Get fish oil from a reputable company and see if it helps.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 weeks later...

The foot baths seemed to have helped and I'm feeling more stable now.

 

I was poking around my medical record and on my ongoing medical conditions I noticed something. There was a new entry in my file that says:

 

MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER, RECURRENT EPISODE, IN FULL REMISSION

 

Don't know exactly why, but this makes me incredibly happy to see. And this entry was made this year, a year after I stopped my antidepressants. 

 

Now, it's time to work on the other diagnoses: PTSD, GAD and Anxiety Disorder. 

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

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