Jerzgirl - Toxicity in body after med w/d?

[jerzgirl]

Hey all! Gonna try to keep this succinct and concise. Can't believe I've just discovered this site this week :-\
24 years old and female who, after five years realized I'd been had by the pharmaceutical industry and psychiatry. 2009, I was 19 and diagnosed with major depression/panic disorder/generalized anxiety/an eating disordee and went on lexapro. It caused a hypomanic episode and I was then declared to have bipolar two. abilify was introduced and over five years I went from 2 mg to over 15. My depression was resistant to ability. In fact, it got worse. I can't believe I didn't see the signs back then.
From 2009 to February 2014:
zonegran, lamictal, abilify, zoloft, lexapro, depakote, cymbalta, xanax, klonopin, ativan, serequel, buspar, lithium, Wellbutrin, Topamax.
Nothing helped and in fact I grew so suicidal I badly overdosed in 2011 and finally December 2012.
This year after a dreadful experience with Zoloft and wellbutrin, I told my psychiatrist I wanted off everything. He told me I would never be okay without medication and everything wrong with me was due to my bipolar etc. He told me I would struggle my whole life and that's when I had enough.

I quickly dropped from ability 15 to 7.5 and stopped in March without psych approval. Although he did tell me to just stop the Zoloft 50 (was he nuts!?!?)
I experienced the horrible w/d: Emotions, crying non stop, obsessive thoughts etc. It was bad. I mean BAD. You all know.
Then I developed muscle spasms :looked like I was hiccuping. The spasms, localized in my chest area were so scary and happening seconds apart. I went to the ER and was brushed off. A holistic doctor I consulted said it was my body detoxing. Made sense. He gave me pressure points to hold and after a few weeks I was back to normal.
Now the spasms are back this week. I can't afford to see the holistic guy again and acupuncture is expensive.

I'm wondering how much toxicity is in my body after five years, fifteen plus meds, and multiple od (3+ med overdoses, the last one nearly lethal). I wish I had tapered off slowly - but march I was so desperate and hasty after waking up to the fact that I had been lied to, misled, and duped by the psychiatry machine.
(As a note, I experience no other mental health side effects after w/d. No bipolar symptoms, OCD is gone, depression is cleared up). I wish I had never started this toxic stuff and had just gotten better therapy to deal with the underlying issues.
I feel for everyone else dealing with permanent effects of this awful stuff. I just want to be physically okay.

[jerzgirl]

Also, I apologize for not providing specific dates and dosing for each med. This has been a very draining and emotional battle. I want to now move on with my life. Forget this ever happened, to some degree, but these physical symptoms (spasms and occasional restlessness) scares me and makes me fearful to the damage this junk has done to my young body.

[dalsaan]

Hey jerzgirl,

 

welcome to the site.  That's some journey you have been on.  Many of us will be able to identify with each of the different elements of your experience although everyone's story is their own.

 

I'm a bit unclear what you have come off and how.

 

When you say you dropped quickly from 15 to 7.5 - How quickly?  and stopped - cold turkey from 7.5?

What happened with the Zoloft and Wellbutrin?

 

In regard to the spasms, are they the same as before?  as bad as before? how often are you having them?

Have you had any other physical symptoms

 

We like to make sure we are clear about your history and what is happening for you before giving too many suggestions.

 

Two things you might consider though is fish oil and magnesium.  Magnesium is a muscle relaxant.

 

Dalsaan

[dalsaan]

Here are some links to our topics on fish oil and magnesium.  I have also included another one on antidepressant withdrawal.  

 

fish oil - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

magnesium - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

antidepressant withdrawal - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-antidepressant-withdrawal-syndrome/

 

Dalsaan

[Rhiannon]

It sounds to me like what you're experiencing is withdrawal, not some "toxicity." Alternative doctors don't know any more about psych med withdrawal and effects than conventional doctors. They're all "educated" by the pharmaceutical industry and TV commercials.

 

Spasms and restlessness sounds like pretty typical withdrawal.

 

With your history (young age at onset, multiple meds and multiple switches in a short time, abrupt quitting without tapering) you're at high risk for protracted withdrawal.

 

If you quit Abilify as recently as March, and I can't tell when or if you quit Zoloft too (???), it's going to be a rough ride for you if you try to just ride it out. I wish I could say you'll be fine, and maybe you will, but most commonly people with a history like yours end up back on meds and back in the psychiatric system. It would probably be best to reinstate at a very low dose, stabilize, and then taper slowly. You're so young, you can still get well and get your life back.

 

Please read through our topics in the Tapering section as well as some of the people's stories on here, and please find the time and strength (you can do it gradually) to give us a clearer sense of your med history for the last year or so, what you took, when you quit, etc.