meljohn: Hi All - I have been trying to find info about all I am going through...

[meljohn]

so finally joined here.  

I have a few questions that some of you may be able to help me with.  Here is my quick story.  

To start, sorry  for anyone going through difficult times.  My Heart Feels for You.   

I had my very first panic attack about 3 months ago, after smoking some pot.  Haven't smoked in a loooong time, but had taken one hit off the same joint all week, but the final night - A Panic Attack.  Had a few more that week.  Petrified about death for 2 weeks.  Got pregnant, freaked out!!!  Had an abortion the next day.  I am 43.(have been pregnant 9 times, have 2 kids, 7 times babies weren't well - this time mommy wasn't well…)

Then had crazy anxiety, didn't know what to do with myself, pacing, extremely sensitive, walking the streets all night.   Oh, and have major insomnia.  Not even the kind where I fall asleep for a couple of hours and then wake up.  I just never fall asleep.  Insane.  Couldn't watch, listen or read anything. Too intense for me to do.  Have 2 kids so very difficult feeling this way with them.  Tried acupuncture, kinda helped a little.  

Finally saw doctors...

Started me on Klonapin think I was taking more than anyone I read about.  

25 drops the first time, which is 2.5mg.  Yeah I slept.  After that first time would take 12 -15 drops to go to bed.  And Lexapro 10mg in the morning.

Klonapin was making me kinda crazy after a week or so.  Then they changed me to..

10mg Valium and 25mg Seroguel to sleep.

I slept but was out of it for about 19 of the 24 hour day.   Not actually sleeping all day, still couldn't do that with my insomnia.  Once I am up I am up, but was in bed most of the day.  And I am not a hang out in bed person, ever.  They said stop taking SeroqueI and only use Valium to sleep.  

(When at the same time they make such a big deal about going cold turkey with these drugs.  I did have withdrawal symptom from stopping Klonapin and did with the Seroquel.  Didn't sleep all night.  But thought I would go another night and try to get off of it.  I read some scary stuff about it.  Well about everything.)  

Same day I was told I have very high thyroid anti bodies.  So they put me on Propranolol, a Beta Blocker 10mg.  Told to take it at night with the Valium.  

Anyway, haven't had panic attacks, since meds.  But just don't feel like myself at all.  Stopped drinking totally for the past 3 months.  Maybe I need a beer.  

After thyroid problem I thought they would take me off Lexapro but said I need to take that drug for at least 6 months.  That it is like and antibiotic.  Is that true?  

Still can't sleep without Valium.  Can I take melatonin with it, safe?  

I feel kinda numb, not anxious where I gotta get out of the house or freaking out, but am still feeling it in my tummy.  Where my anxiety usually starts, I guess for everyone.  Lost 13 pounds during the last month.  Gained a couple back.  Was told to swim 30 minutes everyday, which has helped.  I think.  I don't know…  this is all really scary.  

WOuld like to be off of everything, and follow a more natural solution.  But I never want another panic attack as long as I live.  Worst thing I have ever gone through.  

Thanks for all your posts.  They have scared me   and helped me!    

Thanks for any help or information.  

[Petunia]

Welcome Meljohn,

Thank you for joining and sharing your story, I'm sorry you have been through such a difficult time.  It upsets me every time I read about people ending up on a cocktail of drugs so quickly, when healthier treatments are available.  Like you, I had a bad reaction to pot, for me it was the first time I ever tried it, years ago, I had a panic attack that lasted 2 days, then increased anxiety for a while. Although that's not why I started on antidepressants.

 

Its not true that Lexapro is like an antibiotic, antidepressants don't cure anything, they just suppress symptoms, that's if they work at all.  Lexapro will not cure a thyroid problem, you need to be treated for that separately. Have you had your thyroid function tested?

 

From reading your post, I understand that at the moment you are taking Lexapro, Valium and Propranolol, is this right?

 

Please would you add your drug and tapering history to your signature, it makes it easier to see your situation with every post.  Please would you include all recently taken medications with dose and length of time taken.  Instructions are here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

How are you feeling now?  How is your sleep?

 

Its good that you haven't been on these drugs for very long, it may take a while to get off them all safely, but with our support, you will be able to.  There are safer, healthier ways to deal with anxiety,  its great that you have started swimming daily, I'm glad that its helping.

 

We recommend tapering all drugs by reducing 10% per month, and only one drug at a time, usually the most activating one first, in your case that would be Lexapro.  Here are some tips for safely tapering Lexapro:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/406-tips-for-tapering-off-lexapro-escitalopram/

 

Have a look through our symptoms and self care section for some ideas to help you feel better, especially the topic pinned at the top.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/

 

You will find a lot of friendly help and support here.

 

Petu.

[NervousKitten]

Hi Meljohn... I can relate to your story, i too have had panic attacks after smoking pot. Its activating for some people. There are a lot of helpful posting here (I'm pretty new here) and maybe you might find some solutions.

 

My panic attacks are frequent without medication and it takes a lot of patience and self-awareness to get through the attacks without meds. CBT has helped and I'm trying other solutions recommended here like epsom salt baths and meditation for now. They seem to be working so far, but I need to be consistent with the practice.

 

Be well!

[meljohn]

hi - thank u!  what meds were you on once that you stopped?   A lot of people like Kavinance PM. for sleep.  I just don't want to mix hard stuff.  See they make you scared to take the more natural stuff "because we don't know what the side effects could be" with the serious meds.  What is CBT?  

[meljohn]

oh I see your list of meds.  Just learning the site.  thanks.

[meljohn]

OMGosh - sounds like you have been through a lot!   Sorry.  At least I do have an extremely supportive family, because they have all been through this.  Have you had your thyroid anti bodies checked?  They don't normally do that test unless the regular one come out abnormal.  But many times it is normal, so they don't do the next round of tests.  

[meljohn]

Petu!  That was so sweet and kind of you to write me this.  I feel better and already.  My instinct is to get off all this.  I don't understand why I am still on the Lexapro.  Both the Endocrinologist and the Psychiatrist both felt I should stay on it now that I have been on it for 7 weeks.  ven though when I asked the Endo, if I came to her first discoing I had thyroid problem would she have put me on Lexapro, she answered no.  But, continue taking it.  ??  I will write my drug history and check out the sites you suggest.  Thank you for your time and care…

[Karma]

Hi Meljohn

 

High thyroid antibodies mean that your body is attacking itself.  Often this is due to consuming a food or foods that you are allergic to or intolerant of.  I also had high thyroid antibodies and learned that I was allergic to the protein found in wheat (gluten).  This is diagnosed as Celiac Disease, but one can also have non-Celiac gluten intolerance.  I went on a gluten free diet and that helped. But there was more.

 

I was also diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyroiditis because of the high thyroid antibodies.  This is when the patient goes from hyperthyroid (overactive thyroid) to hypothyroid (underactive thyroid) and it is difficult to balance how you feel.  This can cause sleep problems. 

 

The treatment path I pursued was to take natural dessicated thyroid to the suppression of the TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone).  This means I am taking a dose of thyroid that is sufficient to provide my body the thyroid it needs to function properly, but it also suppresses production of natural thyroid.  The effect is that I can balance how I feel by keeping a constant amount of thyroid available for bodily functions.  You will want to find a knowledge medical professional to help you with this.

 

Your Endo might be actively hostile to this treatment path or she might be open to it.  In the US most Endos are actively hostile to this treatment path.  I use a Nurse Practitioner to manage my thyroid treatment.  I suggest you find a medical professional that understands what high thyroid antibodies mean.

 

As Petu said, Lexapro doesn't cure anything.  I am appalled that you were told this. 

 

If you could add your recent drug history in a signature it would make it easier for us to make meaningful suggestions.  The link is in Petu's post.

 

You have a lot going on and it looks like you've been swapped from one drug to another rapidly.  This can cause your system to become hypersensitive.  We will want to help you get stable and figure out which drug to taper off of first. 

 

Welcome to the community.

 

Karma

[meljohn]

Hi Karma!  Thank you.  I have exactly  what you have.  They told me I will eventually (2 months or 5 years) have Hashimoto's as well.  But for now while I am in hyper mode take the Beta Blocker.  Did you do that?  Did you have any of the symptoms I have/had?  Anxiety, panic attacks, weight loss - InsoMnia?  Horrible.  I am not depressed, but if all this keeps up I can see heading there.   So you think the Lexapro is crazy to be on right.  The Endo said like I said in my other reply.  If I had gone to her first, she would not have had me on Lexapro.  Something to calm me down if I had a panic attack or anxiety and then still the beta blocker.  I am going to see a doctor in a couple of weeks.  Dr. Lee in Orlando who is suppose to be totally open to the natural path.  The ones here… drugs and more drugs.  Have you ever tried Kavanace?  Thanks so much for your response.  Mel

[meljohn]

After reading a lot on the site.  I was wondering if because I have only been on Lexapro for 7 weeks that I can be more aggressive about coming off of it?  What do you all think?  Seems like the longer you take it the harder the tapering off is.   Thank you.

[meljohn]

i hope my drug history is showing.  I filled it out and saved but when I post it doesn't show up.  ?

[Petunia]

After reading a lot on the site.  I was wondering if because I have only been on Lexapro for 7 weeks that I can be more aggressive about coming off of it?  What do you all think?  Seems like the longer you take it the harder the tapering off is.   Thank you.

 

7 weeks is long enough for you to experience withdrawal, but you may be able to taper faster.  We still recommend starting with 10% to see how you respond.  If you get no symptoms after the first cut, then next time you could perhaps lower the dose sooner, everyone is different and you need to listen to your own body and symptoms.

 

Your signature isn't showing up, would you try again, remember to click the save changes button.

[meljohn]

thank you petu.  cut a little off of my pill today.  i feel good!   think it was more than %10 because i used a knife.  need to buy a pill cutter today.  thanks!

[Petunia]

As your dose gets lower, you are going to have to be very accurate with measuring.  You might want to consider switching to liquid or investing in a good scale.  I'm happy to hear its started off well and you are feeling good.