Heart Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 From my personal experience - don't trust that feeling of permanence - it's an illusion and as much a symptom as everything else. When I've had it, it's been the feeling that there was nothing I could consciously do to make anything better. But I think that, even then, my brain was healing the way a cut heals - all on it's own. I believe yours is healing too - there's no conscious control over it. Just hold on. You are not crazy. My heart goes out to you that you are going through so much pain right now. In 2004 was initially put on Effexor, but by 2007 I had a whole cocktail going - 112.5 mg Effexor, 200 mg Buproprion SR, 250 mg Depakote, and 27mg Concerta ER. I switched psychiatrists to get off of everything. Systematically, my new psychiatrist took me down – last to go was the Effexor, which he switched to Prozac to soften the reaction. My last pill was July 2011. Although with every change, up or down, I felt a bit rotten and flu-like, I would return to normal within a few weeks. Looking back, perhaps I felt a bit crabby, but I had no hint that I was in trouble until November 2011 when I experienced something odd - I got no buzz from an occasional glass of wine. By Jan 20112 I was hit, full force – insomnia, no dreams, pacing, twitchy, chemical despair – later: tingling sensations, audio distortion ... Many symptoms have improved, some have not, some have morphed. I am still struggling, 3 years out. Link to comment
btdt Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 Ditto to every word Heart just said... every word. peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
btdt Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 I know sweets,supplements,medications and any beverages that are not water set me off. Food is hard to tell, because the anxiety is the same level, except when I try the above mentioned. This is all crazy, will I always be this sensitive, what am I going to do if I become sick and need medications. The doctos that I've delt with all think im nuts and need to be hospitalized and medicated because im so mentally ill. Why do I get the feeling that this is permanent, I cant go on like this. Every supplement, medication now effects me mentally and physically. Im tired of being told that I'm doing this to myself, that im making myself think that im sensitive to medications etc. That this is all in my mind and I need to stop acting like this, snap out of it, just stop carrying on and go to another psych doctor and get on meds because I obviously need them. I cant even look at pictures of me prior to ever touching an antidepressant because I was me and during the time on because it wasn't me. Maybe I do have serious mental health issues and im in total denial. I want my mind and body back. I tired of feeling like im insane 24/7 and thinking u should run off to the psych ward because that's where I belong. I dont know how im going to handle taking my son today to see a specialist. I freak out when trying to leave the house. Ahhhhhh!!!!!! I told two doctors this wk that they should open their ears because I was going to educate them to the fact that all people who come of antidepressants are going to be hypersensitive to medication just like me and if they know it now they can get a jump on all the drug reactions their other patients are going to have in the future and maybe head off some of those reactions and a great deal of suffering. They both starred blankly at me... I think I just lost it when they said we have tried you on most medications for this and you can't take them. I had reach my height of tolerance at that point and a bit of truth needed to be told. It is not you making yourself sick that is nonsense and don't fall for it. You do not have a serious mental illness your having the same thing the rest of us here have or had. I don't know how you managed to take your son to the doctor but somehow I have faith you did it or arranged it or postponed it and will do it another day. Again my hat is off to you! I wish I could take this away for you or I hope what people here say helps... I wish you peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted July 31, 2014 Author Share Posted July 31, 2014 Hi everyone, thanks for the replies, sitting here crying, full of fear and anxiety. I did take my son to the specialist along with my 2 other kids and my husband. I don't know how I did it. The appointment was 2 1/2 hours long. I almost had a panic attack after the appointment. Then the anxiety died down somr but the physical crap kicked in. Managed to go out to dinnet after the appointment. I prayed to God and thanked him for getting me through, but to please let the window stay open. These moments with my family are precious. Being in this situation has made me realize how I took so many things, even simple things for granted. Now when there is a moment however so brief I grab onto it and don't want it to go,then when it fades im so sad. I hate this. Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
btdt Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 You had a moment tho and that is a great thing... and you did what needed to be done. I have great faith in you. Yes I know it is a battle but sometimes we have to be relentless to win.. and the choices are not so hot. I am glad you had a good moment I wish more for you. peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted August 1, 2014 Author Share Posted August 1, 2014 Thank you btdt, I hate mornings, the fear,anxiety,restlessness. I hate the constant feeling of it through out the day. Anyway I tried soaking my feet in a very small amount of epsom salt last night, I cant tell whether it made a difference or not. All I know is that i feel like climbing the walls for almost 2 years now and can't sit still. Is this considered akathesia? I feel like i have to keep moving and its torturous, its a constant inner termoil. If it is will it go away? I've read that this could remain permanent. I can't live with this for the rest of my life. Im so concerned and cant get the thought out of my head that this permanent. God help me. Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 Skylarblue, this does sound like akathisia. Needing to move all the time and inner turmoil. It does go away in time. I have read of many people who had this and it went away in time. You haven't been off the meds for long. And the good thing is your are off the meds so now you can start to heal. Your CNS has had a shock but will recover in time. I've yet to hear of anyone who had it permanently. And please, people, don't tell us of that one person you've heard about who had it permanently! Seriously, though, I haven't heard of that. When you read of people who've had it a long time, a lot of that time included being on the drugs that caused it. Then the body needs to heal off the drugs. I too am beginning my healing journey away from akathisia. We can do this. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted August 1, 2014 Author Share Posted August 1, 2014 Thanks for replying winning through, its so hard to stay positive. Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
btdt Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 Thank you btdt, I hate mornings, the fear,anxiety,restlessness. I hate the constant feeling of it through out the day. Anyway I tried soaking my feet in a very small amount of epsom salt last night, I cant tell whether it made a difference or not. All I know is that i feel like climbing the walls for almost 2 years now and can't sit still. Is this considered akathesia? I feel like i have to keep moving and its torturous, its a constant inner termoil. If it is will it go away? I've read that this could remain permanent. I can't live with this for the rest of my life. Im so concerned and cant get the thought out of my head that this permanent. God help me. It likely is. It does go away and the thought that won't leave you head is part of withdrawal too. If the epsom salt foot soak is not doing much how about the experience of just having your feet in warm water was it soothing in anyway? I have to draw back on your day with the family to take your son to the doctor there is your hope you had a small break and you are very early in this process ... having a break means you can heal... that is the proof right there. I know it is difficult and that the word is sorely lacking in expressing what your going thru I know... words fail us or me as I often can't get the words and often have been in places no words I know could do justice to...could be in part my vocabulary is lacking could be a lot of things but I want you to know I have been where you are and it did get better inch by inch and you will too. There may be some people who don't get over this I don't know it would not surprise me much if that is true however you have had that bit of proof and it is not going to be you. Even warm baths help you to relax and clean your system the skin is good for gently affecting your body I would also suggest not putting a lot on your skin at this time as in lotions ect... let you skin do the work it was designed to do. I think our skin is detoxing us I really do. Bathing allows it to do a bit better job... I am very careful what I put on my skin these days. Water... is good inside and out. Times is the essence of healing here I think. I wish you peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted August 7, 2014 Author Share Posted August 7, 2014 Hey everyone, just posting an up date. Lets see had a horrific panic attack monday morning, vomiting and laying on my bathroom floor shaking and twitching. Slept pretty decent Monday night, woke up Tuesday with anxiety but I didnt cry my eyes out, spent the day with my kids and husband. Had soft serve ice cream that night and barely slept. Yesterday was a really bad day, didnt sleep well again. Today ive been nauseous and running to the bathroom with frequent urination and pooping a lot, not diarrhea sorry for the tmi. Today I was anxious this morning, but the rest of the day ive been feeling exhausted. It seems when I sleep well, I do better. Also im noticing a strange body odor when I sweat, dont know what that's all about?? Tonight I go for my brain mri. Hope all of you are doing well. Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 Good luck with the MRI SkylarBlue. I will be thinking of you. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
btdt Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 Hey everyone, just posting an up date. Lets see had a horrific panic attack monday morning, vomiting and laying on my bathroom floor shaking and twitching. Slept pretty decent Monday night, woke up Tuesday with anxiety but I didnt cry my eyes out, spent the day with my kids and husband. Had soft serve ice cream that night and barely slept. Yesterday was a really bad day, didnt sleep well again. Today ive been nauseous and running to the bathroom with frequent urination and pooping a lot, not diarrhea sorry for the tmi. Today I was anxious this morning, but the rest of the day ive been feeling exhausted. It seems when I sleep well, I do better. Also im noticing a strange body odor when I sweat, dont know what that's all about?? Tonight I go for my brain mri. Hope all of you are doing well. Could be the ice cream. The smell I find interesting as I had this a long long time ago. I still lived in my house and recall trying to clean the swimming pool... I could smell myself it was gross. It may not be anything like what I had but I had to take a drug called metronidazol to get rid of it. I think I took 3 bottles of it... it is flagil gee I think I may have spelled them both wrong now. sorry if this is not helpful... likely not the same thing I had one more symptoms I am going to pm you... WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
btdt Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 What the heck I had vaginosis I had not been well but they could not find anything wrong with me at the clinic and I had not doctor. Long story short I had two test the same day one showed it the other did not show a thing ... lucky for me one of the doctors had experience and said I know what this is and treated me before the test came back indeed that same day she started treatment. PATHOGENESIS AND MICROBIOLOGY — Bacterial vaginosis (BV) represents a complex change in the vaginal flora characterized by a reduction in concentration of the normally dominant hydrogen-peroxide producing lactobacilli and an increase in concentration of other organisms, especially anaerobic gram negative rods [6-9]. The major bacteria detected are Gardnerella vaginalis, Prevotella species, Porphyromonas species, Bacteroides species, Peptostreptococcus species, Mycoplasma hominis, Ureaplasma urealyticum, and Mobiluncus species [6]. Fusobacterium species and Atopobium vaginae are also common. The mechanism by which the floral imbalance occurs and the role of sexual activity in the pathogenesis of BV are not clear, but formation of an epithelial biofilm containing G. vaginalis appears to play an important role [10-13]. Hydrogen-peroxide producing lactobacilli appear to be important in preventing overgrowth of the anaerobes normally present in the vaginal flora. With the loss of lactobacilli, pH rises and massive overgrowth of vaginal anaerobes occurs. http://www.uptodate.com/contents/bacterial-vaginosis It is not likely what you have but it did come to mind I don't want you to stress about it but maybe get checked if the smell continues I did not have symptoms ... bit unwell but I had been a long time unwell and the smell cleaning the pool was high as I was sweating a lot on a very hot day. The doctor told me a lot of women get this and it has to do with body systems not anything else. Maybe others know more about it or could tolerate researching it. I am not up to it at the moment. It is interesting that the ice cream brought this on maybe.. Do you generally avoid sugar... sorry I can't recall. I hope you tests goes well and really this may be nothing to do with you... just thought I would mention it in case. peace to you WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 Thanks everyone for the replies, im really not doing that great, the constant anxiety, fear is killing me. My dog is sick, she started intermittently vomiting Wednesday morning. Being a vet tech I know what to do. She is no better, she vomited again 2:30 this morning the small amount of boiled hamburger and rice that I offered her last night. Ive been up all night full of anxiety and worry. She needs to go to the vet, I don't know how we're going to afford it. Of course my husband is yelling at me to call the vet. He always places the responsibility of everything on me with the pets, the kids. How does he expect me to take 3 kids and the vomiting dog to the vets. I'm so scared to do anything. I really think I have a severe anxiety disorder, everything little bit of stress puts me in a tail spin. Im constantly in fight or flight, crying mess. I really think im afraid of my kids and husband. I dont know if this is withdrawal or not anymore, I have panic attacks everyday,some times several times a day,im so sick to my stomach most of the time, Im not used to being like thus. I try so hard to use breathing exercises, mindfulness, my mind constantly races. Im going to end up back in a mental hospital. I cant take living like this any more, its not normal. I cant stand being around people and watch them lead normal lives. The thought of being alone with my kids freaks me out, just being alone scares me, what am I going to do???? Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
pokiok Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Hi Skylarblue, I'm sorry you're feeling this way, I understand. The anxiety has taken 17 lbs off me since this all started 3 months ago as I just don't want to eat. Also MAJORLY afraid to be alone with my kids, so fearful that something will happen to me. I try to keep the anxiety in check with diversions like crosswords, reading, etc. but that doesn't always work. When it doesn't work, I'm a mess, pacing and wringing my hands. Luckily for me, my husband is super understanding and helpful so it takes that out of the equation but there is no hell on earth quite like this one. I feel like I've been ruined by these meds and that I'm a mere shell of the person I used to be before kids. I want so much to be the mother I always imagined myself to be but just getting out of bed to get them breakfast can be a chore, never mind running around playing tag with them. We're in the fight, keep on fighting. You're a tough cookie or you wouldn't have made it this far, so keep going. I'm here to talk if you need as I'm essentially feeling the same way you are at the same time. Chin up! 1995-Zoloft 100mg 1996-Off Zoloft C/T 2000-Zoloft 100mg 2002-Off Zoloft after 50mg decrease then C/T 2006-Zoloft 50mg 2009- Off of everything except occasional Xanax as needed for anxiety Fall 2009-Pregnant with extreme morning sickness, doc prescribed Zoloft again 50mg Summer 2010-Zoloft and Klonopin for anxiety Fall 2011-Quite Zoloft C/T had severe withdrawal, ended up on Lexapro Fall 2011- Lexapro 20mg and Klonopin .5mg May 2014-After weaning myself down to 5mg of Lexapro,I quit. I was fine for the first month August 4th-started back on 5mg of Lexapro, hoping to do a proper taper this time. Also on .5mg of Klonopin and .25mg of Xanax as needed. Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 The anxiety is so bad today that I threw up. My stomach is in knots. Im so exhausted but can't settle down. I eat and feel like I'm going to vomit. This has to be a severe anxiety disorder. My dog was admitted into the vet hospital for iv fluids and medication to help stop the vomiting. I know the protocol well, but I keeping thinking the worse case scenario. I know she's just a dog, but she's my hemroid and her being sick is stressing me out,the stress is putting me over board, this is not normal behavior. Will I ever be able to cope and function normally again. I dont want to rely on drugs to function. Not like I could take anything anyway. I had your normal anxiety over normal life stuff but it wouldn't make me non functional and vomit my guts out. This is crazy!! Is there anyone who is going through or has been through this??? Im tried of having a mental break down over everything. Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted August 9, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 9, 2014 I'm sorry you are having this added stress skylarblue, its true that stress makes withdrawal symptoms worse, I think you need to focus on trying to stay calm, your dog is in good hands now, imagining the worst is not helping. An important part of recovering from antidepressant withdrawal is learning how to not make symptoms worse than they need to be. Have a look through our symptoms and self care section, especially the pinned topics: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/ I noticed that you ate some ice cream the other night, I'm wondering what your diet is like in general. Many people find they become sensitive to various foods and drinks while in withdrawal, including things like alcohol, caffeine, sugar, chocolate, spicy and processed foods. I hope your dog, and you feel better soon. Petu. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 How did the MRI to, skylarblue? The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 Sorry, I meant how did the MRI go? The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted August 10, 2014 Author Share Posted August 10, 2014 Not doing well, ive been very nausous,vomiting, the tremors and shaking are really bad, can't sleep, barely eating. It now seems food that I could tolerate last week I can't believe now, what's happening to me Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
mlrp Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Hi Skylar, I'm so sorry you are suffering so much. I'm pretty new here myself so don't have much to offer except peer support. Some of what you are experiencing sounds similar to what I was going through immediately before and for some months after I was put on psych meds. I had been emotionally traumatized by my relationship with my mother and had all the sx of PTSD (hyper-vigilant, sleep deprived, night terrors) - this ultimately manifested in stomach pain, nausea, and an aversion to food that were so severe, I was given an urgent colonoscopy and endoscopy (imagine prepping for a colonoscopy when you're already going on maybe 1 or 2 hours of sleep a night and have excruciating stomach pain - not fun). I became anorexic for a time and dropped about 20 lbs in two months. I could barely bring myself to eat anything - maybe a 1/4 c. of tuna, a few red pepper strips, half a tinned peach, and something like jello, every day. I never did vomit - not sure why because the nausea was extreme. I was also having extreme panic attacks that lasted for hours on end - most of the day in many instances. I was put on Remeron for sleep and because SSRIs were upsetting my stomach too much. The colonoscopy and endoscopy revealed nothing noteworthy. All of my symptoms were stress-induced. I wish I had been able to resist being put on the psych drugs because they have now become the problem (I'm working through my Mom issues with therapy and 12-step). Of course, our situations are very different in many ways so I don't know how much this will help except to let you know that I had similar symptoms and survived and, while I have a long way to go in terms of w/d and remaining anxiety/depression (which may be the w/d - who knows?), 14 months later I am much better than I was then. I don't know how I managed to continue to go to work. Sometimes I was just a body in a chair, doing the minimum to get by, and faking the rest. I took long walks a few times a day through the huge gallery I was working in when the panic attacks were just too much for me to sit still. I relied heavily on my 12-step program and breathing exercises just to make it from one minute to the next during the worst of the panic attacks. Literally one minute at a time. I know you are already doing many things like breathing exercises - I hope you will persevere. For some reason, I found the information on this link helpful when trying to understand and deal with my panic attacks. http://www.anxietyandstress.com/dealingwihpanicattacks.html It sounds as if, in addition to the pharmacology horror you've been put through, you have a ton of added stressors in your life. Do you have any kind of support system you can rely on at home or among friends? If your husband is "yelling" at you and expecting you to take the dog to the vets along with the kids, it sounds as if he isn't able at this time to be that for you...? So many of our loved ones suffer from the long-term stress of caring for us. This is bordering on none of my business except to suggest the importance of having even one or two individuals in "real" life to whom you can turn for unconditional support. My husband happens to be supportive but I need more than even he, as only one person, can provide. This is where my 12-step and group therapies come in. I offer this in support and empathy with your sufferings, and hope I haven't been too intrusive. As Alex says, keep on walking. 04/2013 diagnoses: severe insomnia, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia. PTSD (my diagnosis) Original scripts: 30 mg mirtazapine (Remeron) (1x day), 75 mg Bupropion HCL (Wellbutrin) (2x day), and 0.5 lorazepam (1x day or as needed) 05/05/14: Onset of acute Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms after haphazard "taper" of 6-8 wks. 05/10/14: Joined this site. 05/11/14: Reinstated approx. 25 mg Wellbutrin (1x day) 05/14/14: Switched to 12.5 mg Wellbutrin (2x day) 06/28/14: Changed lorazepam dosing to .25 mg 2x a day - seems to be reducing anxiety flare-ups 07/28/14: Dosing Wellbutrin in a (home made) solution form 12.5 mg (2x day) 08/15/14: Remeron 28 25.2 22.7 20.5 18.5 16.7 15.1 13.6 mg (home made) solution 05/16/15: Have been dosing lorazepam at .5 mg in the morning, .25 mg in the afternoon, and .25 mg at bedtime. Anxiety has increased somewhat, possibly due to tolerance. Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted August 10, 2014 Author Share Posted August 10, 2014 Hi mlrp, I really don't have a support system. My parents live in Connecticut, and my in laws are not supportive at all. Ive lost my friends, their sick of me crying and being anxious all the time. Ive been in therapy for 2 years, all the therapists do is suggest more meds and ect. My husband cant take it anymore, 2 years of this and he doesn't understand why im not getting better. I've never been like this before. All I know is that the celexa that I was taking was stopped cold turkey during my 3rd pregnancy and ive not been right since a month after my baby was born. Its been down hill since then. Everyone justs acts like im doing this on purpose, who in there right mind would waht to be sick like this. I hate living like this, I thought I would be doing better by now. But thanks for your kind words. Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
btdt Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Not doing well, ive been very nausous,vomiting, the tremors and shaking are really bad, can't sleep, barely eating. It now seems food that I could tolerate last week I can't believe now, what's happening to me This can happen and did to me. Do you have a list of the foods that you can't tolerate? There may be a clue in the list. I was asked this before when I was having food issues. It happened more than once. What are the foods your reacting to? Could you be ill? WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
lexicon Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Hi Skylarblue. I am saddened with what you are going through I wonder if you would be willing to have someone other than the doctors you have been seen look at your situation, and give an opinion . In our Tapering Forum, Pinned, there is the thread " Recommended doctors, Therapists, or Clinics " Among the doctors recommended, there is Dr. Kelly Brogan .. She will consult via phone, or Skype .. Maybe Dr. Brogan will be a good alternative to explore, other than psyche doctors who prescribe one med after the other .. Just a thought .. Thinking about you, and wishing you healing blessings Love, Lexi Hello, I am tapering Lorazepam, and my daily dose is 1.125 mgs. I followed a long hold for 5 months, ( Nov-March 2019) hoping to find some stability, but it did not work. So I resumed my taper and hold pattern. For the last 3 years, I have been using a daily microtaper, cutting .001mgs per day, with holds as needed. Symptoms are head pressure, labored breathing, palpitations, abrupt surges of dizziness, this being my worst symptom for now, internal tremors, my latest nemesis, unsteadiness, anxiety, plus many other symptoms that cycle in, and cycle out consistently. Not a day passes, without grief I take no other meds. January 2013 - 15 day quick taper off 10 mgs of Lexapro, and 25 mgs of Sertraline, at a detox clinic. Link to comment
pokiok Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Hi Lexicon, I tried to get a Skype appointment with Dr. Brogan and was informed she doesn't do them. Just thought I would let you both know. This was last week.... xx 1995-Zoloft 100mg 1996-Off Zoloft C/T 2000-Zoloft 100mg 2002-Off Zoloft after 50mg decrease then C/T 2006-Zoloft 50mg 2009- Off of everything except occasional Xanax as needed for anxiety Fall 2009-Pregnant with extreme morning sickness, doc prescribed Zoloft again 50mg Summer 2010-Zoloft and Klonopin for anxiety Fall 2011-Quite Zoloft C/T had severe withdrawal, ended up on Lexapro Fall 2011- Lexapro 20mg and Klonopin .5mg May 2014-After weaning myself down to 5mg of Lexapro,I quit. I was fine for the first month August 4th-started back on 5mg of Lexapro, hoping to do a proper taper this time. Also on .5mg of Klonopin and .25mg of Xanax as needed. Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted August 11, 2014 Author Share Posted August 11, 2014 Thanks for the reply lexi, and thank you pokiok for the info. Still feeling horrible, ive been nausous with bouts of vomiting for a week now. Im on a paleo diet, but it seems everything I eat now is upsetting my stomach. No word yet on my brain mri. Hugs and prayers Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
btdt Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 If every type of food is a problem maybe check your sugar the only other thing I can think of is histamine... there is a thread about histamine foods here on SA I had food issues never did get to the bottom... from not being able to eat to not digesting to could not keep it down... for a time every time I ate I would fall alseep... no answers were found. Part of this time I had no doctors and had to rely on clinics hit and miss interest in these issues. I am glad it has settled some perhaps it will work its way out soon. For me all these things came and went. Stress cannot be under estimated especially when you system is already taxed. To this day I have issues dealing with stress it makes everything worse. Waves can bring all sorts of things including these symptoms stress can bring on waves. It is a circle. Glad to hear you doing better. Peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted August 15, 2014 Administrator Share Posted August 15, 2014 Please look at histamine intolerance -- we have a topic or two about it. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 Not doing well, I haven't slept in 3 days, can't nap. My body shakes all the time and gets worse at night. I drench the bed in sweat,my heart races, I cry to the point of exhaustion and I can't get my body and mind to settle down. Im so irritable all the time, every little thing I snap at or totally overreact to. Im so exhausted. I think im starting with early menopause symptoms, I have almost all the symptoms. Ive tried eliminating food with high histamine, it doesn't matter what I eat, I constantly suffer. I cant live off of water and lettuce. Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 I can't take this anymore, my emotions are out of control, im tired of not sleeping, crying everyday, over reacting to everything. Maybe I am bi-polar, I cant function normally or care for my 3 kids. My husband expects me to just do it all, he wants me to leave and he will raiee the kids. Im tired of taking out my frustration on my family. Im so exhausted, I want to sleep or just take a nap and I can't. We are going to lose everything because im behaving so crazy. 2 years of this!! I feel like im a bi-polar, adhd, schizophrenic, hormonal mess with every anxiety disorder rolled into one. I have no family to help me with my kids, my husband resents me, my kids are out of control, my whole life is falling apart. I just cant see this all being withdrawal, it doesn't explain the hormonal imbalances, my hair thining, my nails peeling, the erratic menstrual cycles, acne all over my body. I dont know what to think anymore, my mind races all the time, I cant sit still, 2 years of this!!!! My parents took my 2 older boys to Connecticut yesterday to visit for a week and I felt nothing when they were leaving. What kind of mother am I,I dont even miss them, when I told them I loved them,I didnt feel it. I feel nothing except for fear,anxiety, sadness, anger, exhaustion and frustration, thats not normal. Im tried of being like this. Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
Muddles Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 I'm crying for you because I know what living this hell is like. I'm sitting here with Akathisia - kicked off from having a bit of chocolate! Crying to my husband that I can't take anymore. I too couldn't care less if my children are here or not...nothing like I use to be as I could never bare a night without them. My hair is also falling out and my periods have stopped...I'm only 35 so it's not menopausal. I don't have any answers but just know you are not alone and that this is not your fault. It is withdrawel and one day this will pass. It's so difficult when there are young children involved. Prayers for you. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 Thank you muddles, I was just thinking of you. This is all too much, I dont know how much more I can take, I wish I could reinstate something just to take the edge off of some of the symptoms and tapper. Im 38 so I think hormones are also playing big time into this, but I cant tolerate HRT, tried 6 months ago when I was in ovarian failure it ramped up all my symptoms. I don't know what to do, maybe I should leave, my poor kids are so ruined by this. Thank you so much for reaching out to me, you have been so kind to me,you have such a big heart. This has to go away for us. Sending you hugs and prayers Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted August 17, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 17, 2014 Hi Skylarblue. I really feel for you it is a terrible situation to be in. One day it will be better. Possibly in such a gradual way that you don't even notice until one day you realise that something is different to how it was x weeks ago. I honestly don't think that leaving will be any good for you. Being alone when you are feeling so bad is terrible because there is no distraction, it is just you and all these horrific symptoms. Believe me being alone with withdrawal is a nightmare, it's hard now but when all motivation is gone and there is no-one to care for it is a slippery slope into a worse pit than this one. Your children love you and need you, even the way you are is better than no mom. It is criminal the way you have been treated, but you will bounce back again. Mamma hug. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
Muddles Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Have you looked into natural hormonal cream? I say all of the things you say. It's so god damn hard going from the mothers we were to what we are now...it's the hardest bit for me. Hugs and prayers to you. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 I tried natural bio identical HRT, I cant tolerate vitamins,fish oil,Probiotics. All which I took for years with never any problems. I miss my morning cup of coffee, an occasional piece of dark chocolate. This sensitivity crap better not remain permanent. Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 Hi mammap, big hugs right back at you Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
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