celexahell: Has Citalopram destroyed me in one week? Is this even possible?

[schizor]

GiaK how do you define 100 procent recovered?

[GiaK]

actually I don't think in terms of recovery at all. Recovery implies going back to what one had before...I have no interest in that. 

 

I use the term recovered because that is what was being used here. I have no interest in recovery. 

 

I can tell you I am indeed being transformed however and that's the way I like it. 

 

Those who use the term recovery, I believe mean it to mean they have functioning like they had before they got sick. 

[Altostrata]

I would like to see this off-topic discussion in celexahell's topic move on to other places in the site, such as

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Recovery
 
"Is it always going to be like this?"

The importance of feeling good

Creating a new self after withdrawal

What does healing from withdrawal syndrome feel like?

 

btdt, we've discussed this before: Stop taking over other people's Introductions topics. This topic is for celexahell's musings and progress, not yours.

[celexahell]

Do you get any sensations? I don't even get hungry or thirsty?! How weird is that!

Same here. Never hungry, thirsty, tired, or fully awake. Things don't quite taste or smell as rich either. Basically reality is completely destroyed in every sense of the word. I don't see myself making it to 30 at this rate. I'll feel bad for my family but they are the ones the recommended this crap and frankly there's no way one can live this way, emotionally void, slow, tired, and asexual. I wish I could be positive but there's nothing to be positive about. Six dumb pills of an unnecessary, haphazardly prescribed drug have destroyed the vivid person I once was, and I cannot and will not live like this.

[Muddles]

You will recover - I believe this.

[celexahell]

You will recover - I believe this.

 

 

Thanks. What makes you believe this? I literally have no emotions anymore and feel horrible 24/7. Plus castration.

[Muddles]

It will take time but have read people get over adverse reactions.

 

I was going to say you were unfortunate to have this reaction, but maybe we should turn it around.

 

Why don't we say you are fortunate? Fortunate to have had this reaction. Had you not, you may have been stuck on it for years...unable to get off and when you did suffered horrendous withdrawels on top of what you have now...for a long time.

 

I read a few posts about a lady who suffered from an adverse reaction after being on Prozac for a couple of months. She was recovered by 18 months.

 

This will be you! You're free from meds and on the to recovery. I can't wait to say that.

[Muddles]

And this lady had a lot of other side effects too.

[alex]

Very well said Muddles!!

[celexahell]

It will take time but have read people get over adverse reactions.

 

I was going to say you were unfortunate to have this reaction, but maybe we should turn it around.

 

Why don't we say you are fortunate? Fortunate to have had this reaction. Had you not, you may have been stuck on it for years...unable to get off and when you did suffered horrendous withdrawels on top of what you have now...for a long time.

 

I read a few posts about a lady who suffered from an adverse reaction after being on Prozac for a couple of months. She was recovered by 18 months.

 

This will be you! You're free from meds and on the to recovery. I can't wait to say that.

Please link me to the story. I literally have no emotions and feel castrated. I know everyone thinks they have it the worst but I really believe I do have it the worst. I am barely on this planet anymore.

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

 

I really believe I do have it the worst

 

You don't. Not by a long shot. By any chance have you read any other threads here? Any?

 

Muddles is attempting mightily to support you, everyone here is. Trying to help you change the channel. What are you doing to help your own recovery and support the ones that are trying to help you? Maybe you are doing it in PM's, I don't know. Have you read Muddles thread for instance?

 

Please put your drug history in your signature. Instructions are in the beginning of your thread.

 

Are you taking fish oil and magnesium? What are your daily activities, what are you doing to assist in your recovery?

[WinningThrough]

Believe me, you don't have it the worst.

[celexahell]

Believe me, you don't have it the worst.

Maybe I don't, but feeling castrated, emotionally void, and practically mentally retarded; when I used to be absolute stud, and the most fluid intellectually capable person is just criminal.

[dalsaan]

 

 

I really believe I do have it the worst

 

You don't. Not by a long shot. By any chance have you read any other threads here? Any?

 

Muddles is attempting mightily to support you, everyone here is. Trying to help you change the channel. What are you doing to help your own recovery and support the ones that are trying to help you? Maybe you are doing it in PM's, I don't know. Have you read Muddles thread for instance?

 

Please put your drug history in your signature. Instructions are in the beginning of your thread.

 

Are you taking fish oil and magnesium? What are your daily activities, what are you doing to assist in your recovery?

 

I'd be interested to hear the answers to these questions, they are more helpful (and more respectful of others) than the constant constructing yourself as the worst, permanently damaged etc.

[celexahell]

 

 

I really believe I do have it the worst

You don't. Not by a long shot. By any chance have you read any other threads here? Any?

 

Muddles is attempting mightily to support you, everyone here is. Trying to help you change the channel. What are you doing to help your own recovery and support the ones that are trying to help you? Maybe you are doing it in PM's, I don't know. Have you read Muddles thread for instance?

 

Please put your drug history in your signature. Instructions are in the beginning of your thread.

 

Are you taking fish oil and magnesium? What are your daily activities, what are you doing to assist in your recovery?

Yes I'm taking FO and Mag. I excercise at least three times a week and I've been improving my diet. I spend time with friends and listen to music as much as possible. Yet I feel absolutely dead all day, and castrated. What kind of life is this anyway?

[mammaP]

 I excercise at least three times a week and I've been improving my diet. I spend time with friends and listen to music as much as possible. Yet I feel absolutely dead all day, and castrated. What kind of life is this anyway? 

 

I would say that is a very productive life.  You are able to exercise, listen to music and be with friends.  Do I take it you 

are able to go to work and function there too?   Be very thankful for the ability to do those things.  

Go to beyondmeds.com and see how Monica lived,  bedridden and unable to even brush her teeth. 

Emotional blunting and anhedonia are terrible, but you can function and exercise which will help you to

heal.  I do not know why you refuse to believe that you can get better. Google neuroplasticity and 

you will see that the brain can heal, even from physical damage.  

 I'm sorry you are suffering but your recovery is in your hands. Time and patience are needed, you have time,

try and cultivate the patience. 

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

 

Yet I feel absolutely dead all day, and castrated. What kind of life is this anyway?

 

This is your life, right now. We are trying to help you deal with it. We know it does not help your healing to keep posting the same thing day after day after day after day and we tell you so but it is not getting through to you. Every single person who reads your thread every day is going through the same struggle, oftentimes much worse than you. They (we) have life problems and other serious serious illnesses to boot. Yet all you can concentrate on is your castration which will reverse itself in time. In a long time, however,  which you are just making even longer by continuing to dwell on it. Do you know that now that it is apparent that you are sensitive to AD's that there are other things in life you need to watch out for? We're here to tell you about them so your life does not get worse.

 

We are here to support each other. So how about offering some of us some support? And while you are at it, put your drug and supplement history in your signature the next time you post. Your thread is 6 pages long already.

[celexahell]

 

 

Yet I feel absolutely dead all day, and castrated. What kind of life is this anyway?

This is your life, right now. We are trying to help you deal with it. We know it does not help your healing to keep posting the same thing day after day after day after day and we tell you so but it is not getting through to you. Every single person who reads your thread every day is going through the same struggle, oftentimes much worse than you. They (we) have life problems and other serious serious illnesses to boot. Yet all you can concentrate on is your castration which will reverse itself in time. In a long time, however, which you are just making even longer by continuing to dwell on it. Do you know that now that it is apparent that you are sensitive to AD's that there are other things in life you need to watch out for? We're here to tell you about them so your life does not get worse.

 

We are here to support each other. So how about offering some of us some support? And while you are at it, put your drug and supplement history in your signature the next time you post. Your thread is 6 pages long already.

I know I need to "change the channel" but it is so incredibly difficult. The feeling of complete emptiness and loss, and that my entire inner world has been rendered void and null. With the feeling of emptiness comes apathy, like every single thing is pointless and life is aimless. Especially knowing how emotionally connected I used to be, and now being a mere shadow of that.

 

How long do you think it will take until I wake up one day and say, 'wow, I don't feel like a corpse today!'. It seems that improvements are so gradual and slow... it's honestly just insane that a few tiny pink pills can cause such devastating troubles for someone.

 

My brain literally does not work the same. I can literally feel the misfiring of the neurons.

[thisismyname]

[celexahell]

What?

[schizor]

i too would like to see a 100% recovery story.also saying that people who dont post here anymore because they are recovered is not rigt because they could also give up the fight commited suicide or be homeles and not being able to post here because its almost impossible to keep a job in this state

[alex]

 because they could also give up the fight commited suicide

 

Ok....so,are you going to give up, or are you going to fight for your recovery...???

Because if you are going to fight, you better change you channel and start looking, thinking for more positive things.

I am a 60 years old,jobless man;and I have been giving the good fight for 2 years now.

How old are you and how long have you been struggling??

ACCEPTANCE, PATIENCE,BALLS, and overall, and despite everything:GOOD ATTITUDE.

Are you able to do something so fundamental for your life as sleep?? I don`t.

[mlrp]

Depression (even that induced by drugs) is insidious and sometimes manifests in a person's psyche by causing the sufferer to actively persist in the depressed state. Some will even develop a "loyalty" to their depression. This isn't to say they aren't suffering.

 

You may be "getting" something by staying depressed and feeding it with negativity. Perhaps reinforcing the depression allows you to maintain your (justified) anger at this wrong having been done to you, or "keeps you too sick to improve," thereby "proving" your hypothesis that no one ever really recovers, or recovers enough to have a life worth living. I did both of these things and occasionally still fall into those traps.

 

It does, as Alex frankly puts it, take balls to do the work to fight the symptoms, and to persist in that regard even when one doesn't really believe there's any point in so doing. Metaphorical balls, of course, because I accept that you have been chemically castrated. But then I'm a woman, so my balls are pretty euphemistic, too.

 

My unsolicited observations. Take what you like, and leave the rest.

[dalsaan]

 

 

Yet I feel absolutely dead all day, and castrated. What kind of life is this anyway?

This is your life, right now. We are trying to help you deal with it. We know it does not help your healing to keep posting the same thing day after day after day after day and we tell you so but it is not getting through to you. Every single person who reads your thread every day is going through the same struggle, oftentimes much worse than you. They (we) have life problems and other serious serious illnesses to boot. Yet all you can concentrate on is your castration which will reverse itself in time. In a long time, however, which you are just making even longer by continuing to dwell on it. Do you know that now that it is apparent that you are sensitive to AD's that there are other things in life you need to watch out for? We're here to tell you about them so your life does not get worse.

We are here to support each other. So how about offering some of us some support? And while you are at it, put your drug and supplement history in your signature the next time you post. Your thread is 6 pages long already.

I know I need to "change the channel" but it is so incredibly difficult. The feeling of complete emptiness and loss, and that my entire inner world has been rendered void and null. With the feeling of emptiness comes apathy, like every single thing is pointless and life is aimless. Especially knowing how emotionally connected I used to be, and now being a mere shadow of that.

How long do you think it will take until I wake up one day and say, 'wow, I don't feel like a corpse today!'. It seems that improvements are so gradual and slow... it's honestly just insane that a few tiny pink pills can cause such devastating troubles for someone.

My brain literally does not work the same. I can literally feel the misfiring of the neurons.

So you acknowledge you need to change the channel and then you go on to do the exact same thing you've been advised not to do (by people who have been there and some a lot worse than you)

 

I will not be engaging with you or commenting on your thread any further. We have very little time and resources and can't use it providing feedback to someone who doesn't take it. I recommend you see a face to face counsellor to address your issues and your investment in them.

 

Dalsaan

[celexahell]

Depression (even that induced by drugs) is insidious and sometimes manifests in a person's psyche by causing the sufferer to actively persist in the depressed state. Some will even develop a "loyalty" to their depression. This isn't to say they aren't suffering.

 

You may be "getting" something by staying depressed and feeding it with negativity. Perhaps reinforcing the depression allows you to maintain your (justified) anger at this wrong having been done to you, or "keeps you too sick to improve," thereby "proving" your hypothesis that no one ever really recovers, or recovers enough to have a life worth living. I did both of these things and occasionally still fall into those traps.

 

It does, as Alex frankly puts it, take balls to do the work to fight the symptoms, and to persist in that regard even when one doesn't really believe there's any point in so doing. Metaphorical balls, of course, because I accept that you have been chemically castrated. But then I'm a woman, so my balls are pretty euphemistic, too.

 

My unsolicited observations. Take what you like, and leave the rest.

So tell me what we're your initial symptoms and how did they resolve, over what time frame? That's nice you have accepted that my sexuality is ruined, because I certainly have not. Anther day, wasting away.

[celexahell]

Another day of no emotions, barely remembering who I am, and castration.

[celexahell]

I can totally see why people end up killing people due to these pointless evil drugs. Not that I would ever do such a thing, but I can see how this non-existence encourages suicide or other destructive behaviors.

[celexahell]

I would gladly do a 5 year prison sentence if it meant coming out and being like I used to be.

[schizor]

it would be a good deal because existing in this state is many times worse then prison

[Chemistry]

Its funny because in 5 years you'll more than likely be long recovered by then so...

[schizor]

freedom after jail is 100% sure. recovery after withdrawal as far as i read is not 100% sure it will happen.

[celexahell]

freedom after jail is 100% sure. recovery after withdrawal as far as i read is not 100% sure it will happen.

Exactly.

[alex]

"Each thought that you have,creates your future.Think positive."

[ricardo7]

Not only the prison is bliss but also the isolation compared to this nightmare. Α prisoner can feel emotions by memories, he is able to relative to other prisoners etc., and even a big disaster is preferable than being emotionally dead! Personally, I believe , without exaggeration, is the worst thing that can happen to a human, losing all feelings and sexuality. People who never experienced it, can't understand how serious and horrible this condition is. Αlso, Knowing that no one ever will pay for this crime is also unbearable. IT ISN'T SOMETHING THAT GOD SENT TO US. Ιf you have a car or medical accident someone undertakes the responsibility (in most cases).Τhese stupid ''scientists" never warned us about the risks. If you go with  toothache they will prescribe you SSRI's . It's all about the money...

 

Εmotional anesthisia with PSSD is the absolute hell and I can understand you completely Celexahell.  Ι have exactly the same.

We need hold on. We can't let the drugs win, we have to keep telling them NO. There is hope...

[btdt]

I am feeling unwelcome here sorry if I took over you thread feels to me like all sorts of people are taking it over but that is just mho  I feel I have been here before in this situation.  Interesting.

peace to you

[btdt]

 

 

 

I cant stand to hear people laughing, Im so jealous because they can experience this emotion and I can not.

 I've had EXACTLY the same feeling...and many other people around here.

It has gotten much better.As you start to feel better, and live your life again, that "difference" with other people fades away.

 

And then it comes back...

 

 Maybe for you....very negative post; the last thing we need in this forum...

 

Peace to you too.

 

I am sorry you found my post negative it was not meant that way at all. 

peace to you too