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Marriages destroyed by SSRI SNRI - Topix

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mylifeisback

What ever happened to Meredith? Did her husband recover? Her story is the first one that I came to, hers was much like mine. I never did see her pots anymore after PP. I truly believe that my faith in God and my prayer to him brought me to PP and Meredith.

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btdt

Last I heard from her things were going well I am hoping all is still well... people don't always keep up after thing are resolved. 

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mylifeisback

Thanks btdt for the reply.

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Worriedmom

I thank you also, btdt, for your reply to me.  I guess I have misunderstood the reason DIL's feelings changed.  I know you're right though.  There are many stories of spouses walking out while still on the meds.  Seems to me, though, that most happen with a change in the drugs somehow - like an increase in dose, or c/t, or change of brand?  In any case, there definitely needs to be more education before people are put on them.  

 

I admire you, btdt, for your untiring dedication to helping the victims of these meds.  I could see in my reading, that you were a rock-solid source of wisdom and experience on the PP forum, and on through the years to here.  I feel like I know you, I've read so many of your replies to hurting people.  May God bless you for all you do.  I would've had a much harder time getting through these painful months without you.  Thank you.  

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btdt

When I think personality change I think of Sara Carlin...yet most don't see it being the drug.  

http://fiddaman.blogspot.ca/2010/06/sara-carlin-ontario-canada.html

 

there was an inqest there were recommendations 

not sure if anything changed 

http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2010/06/28/carlin_family_praises_suicide_inquest_results.html

 

I should really follow it up... I am sure all those things you say could bring on a change and the drug alone can too... maybe all the above we don't know there is not any research. 

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btdt

I found the link to serotonin lowering dopamine... it is here


 


"Dr. Glenmullen points out, however, that neurotransmitters like serotonin, adrenaline, and dopamine are connected by complex circuitry and function interdependently. Changes in one neurotransmitter can set off changes in another. Thus, the idea that Prozac-type drugs work "selectively" on serotonin is an illusion. When the level of serotonin is artificially increased, the primary reaction in the brain is a drop in dopamine--a powerful secondary effect that was not understood when the new class of serotonin boosters was introduced. The severe effects of the SSRIs are thought to be caused by the connections between the serotonin and dopamine systems. "Drugs producing a dopamine drop are well known to cause the dangerous side effects that are now appearing with Prozac and the other drugs in its class," Dr. Glenmullen writes. His term for these compensatory reactions in the brain is "Prozac backlash."[57]"


 


http://blog.garynull...ing-Madness.pdf


 


This is not the original source that suggested partners cheat because of lowered dopamine causes them to not feel love... and cheating and risk taking bumps up the dopamine... I have not been able to find that article since topix closed but this is the reasoning behind it...


peace all 


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btdt

I think the marriages thread is a good place to start and I know some of the people there who are aware of many more stories going back years as they use to be on the same topix site I was some made it some didn't... you were already there at the beginning... I am posting this tidbit in both place so more people will see it... 

 

"

Medical studies have shown that changes in serotonin transporter metabolism appear to be associated with many different phenomena, including alcoholismclinical depressionobsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD),romantic love,[3] hypertension and generalized social phobia.[4]"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serotonin_transporter.

 

 

another tidbit... same link

 

"This transport of serotonin by the SERT protein terminates the action of serotonin and recycles it in a sodium-dependent manner. This protein is the target of many antidepressant medications, including those of theSSRI class.[1] It is a member of thesodium:neurotransmitter symporter family. A repeat length polymorphism in the promoter of this gene has been shown to affect the rate of serotonin uptake and may play a role in sudden infant death syndrome, aggressive behavior in Alzheimer disease patients, post-traumatic stress disorder and depression-susceptibility in people experiencing emotional trauma.[2]

 

I think we know the agressiveness is not just in alzheimers .......as if

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btdt

I thank you also, btdt, for your reply to me.  I guess I have misunderstood the reason DIL's feelings changed.  I know you're right though.  There are many stories of spouses walking out while still on the meds.  Seems to me, though, that most happen with a change in the drugs somehow - like an increase in dose, or c/t, or change of brand?  In any case, there definitely needs to be more education before people are put on them.  

 

I admire you, btdt, for your untiring dedication to helping the victims of these meds.  I could see in my reading, that you were a rock-solid source of wisdom and experience on the PP forum, and on through the years to here.  I feel like I know you, I've read so many of your replies to hurting people.  May God bless you for all you do.  I would've had a much harder time getting through these painful months without you.  Thank you.  

Many people have walked and done the "I don't love you any more" story after taking the drugs a couple of months see Dwaynes story for instance here he started at the Topix site.  If anyone has copies of related instances saved please show others how to view them.  Roy the guy who started the topix marriages destroyed site is another I believe his wife changed shortly after starting to take the drugs.. that is what got him wondering about it to start with.  I think the timeline depends on how well the drug user metabolises the drug some are slow metabolisers some are fast it is genetic so timeline varies. 

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btdt

I think the marriages thread is a good place to start and I know some of the people there who are aware of many more stories going back years as they use to be on the same topix site I was some made it some didn't... you were already there at the beginning... I am posting this tidbit in both place so more people will see it... 


 


"


Medical studies have shown that changes in serotonin transporter metabolism appear to be associated with many different phenomena, including alcoholismclinical depressionobsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD),romantic love,[3] hypertension and generalized social phobia.[4]"


https://en.wikipedia...nin_transporter.


 


 


another tidbit... same link


 


"This transport of serotonin by the SERT protein terminates the action of serotonin and recycles it in a sodium-dependent manner. This protein is the target of many antidepressant medications, including those of theSSRI class.[1] It is a member of thesodium:neurotransmitter symporter family. A repeat length polymorphism in the promoter of this gene has been shown to affect the rate of serotonin uptake and may play a role in sudden infant death syndrome, aggressive behavior in Alzheimer disease patients, post-traumatic stress disorder and depression-susceptibility in people experiencing emotional trauma.[2]


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hurtspouse

Thought I'd come back to update you all. After my last post back in February, I really had decided to move on. Something clicked in me. I didn't come back on here, or bother with him anymore (except for dealing with the children). Straight away, Something strange happened; My change in behaviour seemed to wake him up enough to realise that he wanted to come back to me. I didn't allow it. I did allow him to visit us more often, and during that time he has become very warm and loving to me again (not just the children). I am happy to say that since the end of May, he is back home and we are trying to mend our relationship. He is making a real effort with us all, and if he has his bad days he keeps his distance a bit because he doesn't want to take out his anger on us. It's going to take a long time I think for recovery. He still doesn't show much remorse or understand our pain, just his own which is hard to deal with. I haven't asked any questions, I've just put all the blame for our heartache on the devil pills. It WAS the pills!! No one in either families believed me! But they do now!

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hurtspouse

A big problem I have now is my hatred for doctors, I saw the doctor that put him on the Paxil the other day and it took all my energy not to go and punch her in the face. She KNEW what these pills could do! I went with him at the start for his appts, and after he was put on them for about 6 weeks he went for a check up. She was brazenly flirting with him in front of me (wearing a skirt and opening her legs slightly as she spoke to him, giggling etc) and the widening of his eyes prompted the b**** to smirk at me, as if to say 'you're in trouble!'

 

I don't care what anyone says. Doctors and the whole medical establishment know what is happening here! They know what these pills do. And it makes me so MAD!!!

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scallywag

Thought I'd come back to update you all. After my last post back in February, I really had decided to move on. Something clicked in me. I didn't come back on here, or bother with him anymore (except for dealing with the children). Straight away, Something strange happened; My change in behaviour seemed to wake him up enough to realise that he wanted to come back to me. I didn't allow it. I did allow him to visit us more often, and during that time he has become very warm and loving to me again (not just the children). I am happy to say that since the end of May, he is back home and we are trying to mend our relationship.

HS -- I'm glad you're all back together again. It's astounding what happens when one person changes the dynamic as you did. Perhaps with time, your husband will come to see that you suffered too. 

 

That doc he had sounds like quite the self-centred, um ...., character. Good thing she's out of your lives.

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btdt

A big problem I have now is my hatred for doctors, I saw the doctor that put him on the Paxil the other day and it took all my energy not to go and punch her in the face. She KNEW what these pills could do! I went with him at the start for his appts, and after he was put on them for about 6 weeks he went for a check up. She was brazenly flirting with him in front of me (wearing a skirt and opening her legs slightly as she spoke to him, giggling etc) and the widening of his eyes prompted the b**** to smirk at me, as if to say 'you're in trouble!'

 

I don't care what anyone says. Doctors and the whole medical establishment know what is happening here! They know what these pills do. And it makes me so MAD!!!

Welcome to my world  the anger man I get that so bad at time... it scares me and lately I have been thinking it will affect my chances of going to heaven as the good books says forgive and try as I may I can't seem to muster it yet... at least.  if you see the thread called lets pray for each other you will see the fallout of all that... I am working it but I am so pissed... the more I know the worse I get... so I stopped reading about it .. buying books at least I stopped buying books .. I need more self control to stop reading about it and I don't have that yet... part of me doesn't want it... 

 

I don't know if all doctors know or don't know the harm caused by these drugs I read all the time that only some people have trouble with them and most don't.. to which I say wait .. they will even if they seem ok now wait one day it could happen.  So for now we are the minority... having difficulty with ssri drugs... especially of this type the severe personality changes ect... but it is becoming more and more known as more people realise what these drugs can actually do.  

 

I think one day there will be a tipping point where so many of the ordinary people know about and finally talk about the problems with these drugs they will cease being a top seller at least in the English speaking world... cause we are talking here.  Many people who for years thought they were crazy are figuring out the drug made them crazy.  For some it is affecting how they relate to their doctors and how they do NOT want to take the drugs offered DUE to NO TRUST in the medication... it started with lies from drug companies and fraudulent drug trial results... the fact that it went on so long was in part because of doctors there is no reason for any doctor not to know now ...not with the amount of information online... but some rely only on pharma created resources which still lie... we need to educate our doctors so they can stop hurting people. If they don't want to be educated they then can find some new patients... that is how I see it... good luck with your job when the only thing you know how to do is give out pills and people will not take your pills anymore...

 

Glad he is back and that it is working out... 

I wish you peace

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alchemist

This discussion has been going on since 2007 in a Topix forum that has been deleted, so I have created this facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/AntidepressantsDestroyMarriages in hopes that those who were discussing this topic will find it and continue to support each other. Many people came to that thread because they found themselves married to a stranger after their spouse started taking an SSRI/SNRI. These drugs change the chemical balance of the brain causing people to change almost overnight. Spouses devoted to their husband/wife and children suddenly are no longer connected and no longer feel love. Instead, because of these same chemical imbalances, they are drawn to having affairs, going on spending sprees, gambling, partying, lying, and doing anything that gives an immediate thrill. They become selfish people who leave the well-established, healthy family they helped to build. They tear their family apart and walk away. 

It was this thread where people learned that it was the drugs that caused this shift in their loved ones thinking/behavior. Unfortunately, this is just one of many dangerous side effects of these drugs. We have been duped by the pharmaceutical companies into believing that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, but this has since been proven to be a scam as there is no way to measure the chemicals in the brain. If they can't measure them, how do they know there is a deficiency or imbalance? No, instead, big pharma marketed this as being the cause of the epidemic of depression and anxiety and in turn they have made billions of dollars in profits while the side effects of these drugs cause: 

Destruction of marriages
Infidelity
Gambling addictions
Alcoholism
Anxiety
Suicide and homicide ideation and successful attempts
Hot flashes
Vision loss
Hypothyroidism (doctors are prescribing this for Graves' disease now)
MS/Parkinson symptoms
Seizures
Anhedonia (inability to experience pleasure)
Insomnia
Sexual dysfunction
Violence and mania

just to mention a few.

Unfortunately, even if the unmedicated spouse is able to convince the medicated spouse that the sudden change in affection/behavior has been caused by the drugs (very difficult to convince the drug user of this), stopping this medication or any of the SSRI medications can be absolute torture. If not tapered slowly, the withdrawals can be horrific and last a long, long time, leaving people wondering why they ever started them in the first place. 

These drugs are dangerous. They are being prescribed for everything from hot flashes to fibromyalgia to depression/anxiety. After all is said and done, these drugs do more harm than good. 

So I am restarting this topic and hope those who were here before will find their way back.

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mylifeisback

SSRIS are bull crap they destroy people and families, I am living proof.

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btdt

This discussion has been going on since 2007 in a Topix forum that has been deleted, so I have created this facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/AntidepressantsDestroyMarriages in hopes that those who were discussing this topic will find it and continue to support each other. Many people came to that thread because they found themselves married to a stranger after their spouse started taking an SSRI/SNRI. These drugs change the chemical balance of the brain causing people to change almost overnight. Spouses devoted to their husband/wife and children suddenly are no longer connected and no longer feel love. Instead, because of these same chemical imbalances, they are drawn to having affairs, going on spending sprees, gambling, partying, lying, and doing anything that gives an immediate thrill. They become selfish people who leave the well-established, healthy family they helped to build. They tear their family apart and walk away. 

It was this thread where people learned that it was the drugs that caused this shift in their loved ones thinking/behavior. Unfortunately, this is just one of many dangerous side effects of these drugs. We have been duped by the pharmaceutical companies into believing that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, but this has since been proven to be a scam as there is no way to measure the chemicals in the brain. If they can't measure them, how do they know there is a deficiency or imbalance? No, instead, big pharma marketed this as being the cause of the epidemic of depression and anxiety and in turn they have made billions of dollars in profits while the side effects of these drugs cause: 

 

Destruction of marriages

Infidelity

Gambling addictions

Alcoholism

Anxiety

Suicide and homicide ideation and successful attempts

Hot flashes

Vision loss

Hypothyroidism (doctors are prescribing this for Graves' disease now)

MS/Parkinson symptoms

Seizures

Anhedonia (inability to experience pleasure)

Insomnia

Sexual dysfunction

Violence and mania

 

just to mention a few.

 

Unfortunately, even if the unmedicated spouse is able to convince the medicated spouse that the sudden change in affection/behavior has been caused by the drugs (very difficult to convince the drug user of this), stopping this medication or any of the SSRI medications can be absolute torture. If not tapered slowly, the withdrawals can be horrific and last a long, long time, leaving people wondering why they ever started them in the first place. 

 

These drugs are dangerous. They are being prescribed for everything from hot flashes to fibromyalgia to depression/anxiety. After all is said and done, these drugs do more harm than good. 

 

So I am restarting this topic and hope those who were here before will find their way back.

I warn people against going to any facebook pages related to problems with these drugs tho they may be a great way for people to learn about this site or another private one started.. going to fb is like giving up all of your anonymity if you think PHARMA is here you right I am sure of it how likely are they to be on a fb page which identifies each users where all your information is sold... hello not a good idea...

 

see the post I made called facebookistan... you will understand then...

 

I did go to the new old page today and tried to find the new page that was attempted I could not find it.. but on the link I had I found a gem on the very last page post 847 it is a copy of something i posted on that site years ago tho the first page is missing and there is not link to the original... if anyone has the original I would sure like a copy...

 

what happens on these drugs

 

 Part 2

Some will become manic. Mania includes but may not be limited to such things as

 

• increased energy, decreased sleep 

• overly irritable 

• fast emotional changes 

• inflated self-esteem 

• increased sexual drive 

• overspending 

• poor judgment

 

The retrospective study I read says that slightly less than 9% will experience mania as a side effect of these drugs. A report on Fox News today said there are 30 million people in the US on these drugs at any one time and that 5% are manic or psychotic. Psychotic just means they have lost touch with reality. Perceived feelings begin to emerge which often times include blaming their significant other for everything bad that has ever happened or for things that never happened. The phone call just to see how they’re doing that was once viewed as sweet or considerate is now viewed as “checking up on me”

 

With that being the case and with more than half being women or girls it doesnÂ’t take much reasoning to figure out what happens when they experience an increased sex drive, become disinhibited and exercise poor judgment. I use women here as the example merely because itÂ’s much easier for them to act out sexually than it is for men. That however in no way precludes men from engaging in this type behavior for the exact same reasons.

 

It has also been reported in trial data that some people will actively pursue such things as pornography when they never were inclined to do so before. These are all things that may be outside “their normal behavior” Keep that simple phrase in mind “their normal behavior” it’s the key to understanding what has happened or is happening now.

 

Some will say at this point that sex had nothing to do with MY decision. The sexual scenario was just an example. The out of character behavior can and does come in virtually any form including but in no way limited to excessive spending, gambling, vivid violent dreams directed towards the loved one that create a fear of what you might do and the list goes on.

 

Soon with the help of the drug they begin to rationalize what theyÂ’ve done. Believing these new activities feelings and fears are really who they are and what they want they simply walk away from their previous life to pursue the perceived utopian existence they have discovered under the numbing mind altering influence of their medication.

 

Having rationalized they begin to feel threatened. Their secrets arenÂ’t safe, so now what? The hard wired survival mechanism known as fight or flight kicks in.

 

Part 3:

 

Fight or flight

What is the "fight or flight response?"

 

This fundamental physiologic response forms the foundation of modern day stress medicine. The "fight or flight response" is our body's primitive, automatic, inborn response that prepares the body to "fight" or "flee" from perceived attack, harm or threat to our survival.

 

What happens to us when we are under excessive stress?

 

When we experience excessive stress—whether from internal worry or external circumstance—a bodily reaction is triggered, called the "fight or flight" response. Originally discovered by the great Harvard physiologist Walter Cannon, this response is hard-wired into our brains and represents a genetic wisdom designed to protect us from bodily harm. This response actuallycorresponds to an area of our brain called the hypothalamus, which—when stimulated—initiates a sequence of nerve cell firing and chemical release that prepares our body for running or fighting.

 

What are the signs that our fight or flight response has been stimulated (activated)?

 

When our fight or flight response is activated, sequences of nerve cell firing occur and chemicals like adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol are released into our bloodstream. These patterns of nerve cell firing and chemical release cause our body to undergo a series of very dramatic changes. Our respiratory rate increases. Blood is shunted away from our digestive tract and directed into our muscles and limbs, which require extra energy and fuel for running and fighting. Our pupils dilate. Our awareness intensifies. Our sight sharpens. Our impulses quicken. Our perception of pain diminishes. Our immune system mobilizes with increased activation. We become prepared—physically and psychologically—for fight or flight. We scan and search our environment, "looking for the enemy."

 

When our fight or flight system is activated, we tend to perceive everything in our environment as a possible threat to our survival. By its very nature, the fight or flight system bypasses our rational mind—where our more well thought out beliefs exist—and moves us into "attack" mode. This state of alert causes us to perceive almost everything in our world as a possible threat to our survival. As such, we tend to see everyone and everything as a possible enemy. Like airport security during a terrorist threat, we are on the look out for every possible danger. We may overreact to the slightest comment. Our fear is exaggerated. Our thinking is distorted. We see everything through the filter of possible danger. We narrow our focus to those things that can harm us. Fear becomes the lens through which we see the world.

 

We can begin to see how it is almost impossible to cultivate positive attitudes and beliefs when we are stuck in survival mode. Our heart is not open. Our rational mind is disengaged. Our consciousness is focused on fear, not love. Making clear choices and recognizing the consequences of those choices is unfeasible. We are focused on short-term survival, not the long-term consequences of our beliefs and choices. When we are overwhelmed with excessive stress, our life becomes a series of short-term emergencies. We lose the ability to relax and enjoy the moment.

Part 4: 

Over time many medicated partners will file for divorce. Not realizing the thing that changed was the delicate balance in their brain caused by the drug. Believing with all their heart and soul that they are in control of their feelings and finally doing what they want in their life. 

 

By now you may be thinking if all this is true, then why are they seemingly so happy and content with the new life. The answer to that is simple. ItÂ’s because itÂ’s new and never before experienced and because of that it can elicit a Dopamine response when the old ways couldnÂ’t. Not because itÂ’s better, simply because itÂ’s new. 

 

LetÂ’s fast forward just a bit. Now weÂ’ve gotten to this point the excitement of the new life and in some cases the new partner begins to wear off. The shine tarnishes and the spark cools. The drugs are now out of their system and theyÂ’ve done some healing and the decisions they made and their current situation donÂ’t make as much sense as they once did. Maybe some feelings that were believed to be gone are beginning to sneak back into the picture

 

While just going back and trying to work things out might be the obvious step it isnÂ’t that easy. Even if the person now realizes it was the drugs and most wonÂ’t at this point the situation is very complex. Now you have someone that walked away from the people they loved and who loved them but they question why did I leave, why did I think those things are they really how I feel? How do I know that what I feel now is real?

 

If that isnÂ’t enough there are also feelings of shame, embarrassment, wondering how anyone could forgive what happened. Financial and legal problems health concerns and the list could go on.

 

If the person returns it will only be after they have completed the necessary journey. For some this may only take a few days and itÂ’s done. For others the journey will be longer with twists and turns that may include divorce and even getting married to someone else. The journey like the little pills that set the whole thing in motion is unpredictable and unique to each individual.

 

I don't recall this part it may have been added by the user who posted it... 

 

 

Part 5:

How does a couple overcome all of this? 

 

First both people have to understand it was the drug that caused the behaviors and actions. 

 

For the jilted partner this is simply not the time to let macho or feminist attitudes control your thinking. This is the time to remember your wedding vows. For better or for worse for richer or poorer in sickness and in health. If you were never married but made a commitment, if you really loved the person, the same applies. 

 

How much should you be required to give or how long do you hang on to the hope that the love of your life will return? In my mind the answer is simple, how long would you want them to wait if the situation were reversed? They deserve at least that much time. 

 

Now for those that walked away. Please donÂ’t let pride stand in the way of what could be the best thing to ever happen to you. Consider how much the other person must love you to have fought for your return. Please donÂ’t pass up the chance to be rejoined and happy again. The chance to see how the things you had dreamed of turn out. The chance to dream new dreams together and for life to be better than it has ever been before. I would beg of you to make the contact. Have no doubt that those who loved you before will love you again. By the time itÂ’s gone this far the outcome may be up to you, Please ask.

In many cases there will be no apologies expected no details to relive. In many cases a phone call or email that simply says something like I miss you and want to come home will be more than enough.

 

peace all

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btdt

I thank you also, btdt, for your reply to me.  I guess I have misunderstood the reason DIL's feelings changed.  I know you're right though.  There are many stories of spouses walking out while still on the meds.  Seems to me, though, that most happen with a change in the drugs somehow - like an increase in dose, or c/t, or change of brand?  In any case, there definitely needs to be more education before people are put on them.  

 

I admire you, btdt, for your untiring dedication to helping the victims of these meds.  I could see in my reading, that you were a rock-solid source of wisdom and experience on the PP forum, and on through the years to here.  I feel like I know you, I've read so many of your replies to hurting people.  May God bless you for all you do.  I would've had a much harder time getting through these painful months without you.  Thank you.  

 

It can be something as simple as stopping or starting birth control pills or a liver that gets a cysts or many things that can change how the dose of the drug is or is not absorbed..menopause too or peri menopause... lots of things adding a ppi stomach drug or a statin for cholesterol .. can change how much of these type of drugs actually get and  how long they stay in the system.. any other drug that is metabolised by the same pathway... look up P450 on here to learn more. 

 

don't admire me nobody wants to be me... 18 years drugged.. complete personality change on the last one wrecked my life lost job home ... 3 years hard 5 years protracted... couple with multiple chemical sensitivities now back to food sensitivities and memory issues again... add it all up that is 

 

drug roll ... 26 years caught up in ssri snri bull... nothing to see here folks... 

 

peace

 

ps I was banned from pp and not one of the people who had much to offer there other than experience... I posted more at effexoractivist and the effexortopix both are gone mostly now... bits of pieces if your good at google 

peace

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btdt

For me it all started in a quest to learn how to heal myself all the rest is fallout from there... one can't help but learn when doing the same thing year after years for years on end. 

What worries me is the kids who never had a chance to know who they are without drugs coming here or a site like it in the next 20 years in hard withdrawal.  Why have all our efforts to date to get this known not worked... why? I am full of why's today... maybe there are missing bits of the master plan we have not figured out how to crack yet. Maybe. 

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mylifeisback

I finally found a therapist that believes and knows what these drugs can do. In just one session she helped me tremendously. I will definitely be going back.

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Coopergirl1

Mylifeisback- I am so happy for you. When I heard that news it was like something good happening to me too.

 

Now, I have a question for all of you. Right now I am down to 16.5 mg of zoloft ( many say its not even a real dose ) ..which I know it isnt but my feelings for my boyfriend have not returned. I feel like I feel nothing and it scares me so much. I havent told him that because I dont want it to be the case that I just dont love him. I know 16.5 is low but can it be enough to mask feelings still? I know I loved him before my change of medication and dosage..the higher I went the more I felt nothing. I have been on ssri for 2 years and 3 months. Please, any help is appreciated.

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hurtspouse

Coopergirl, my partners feelings for me got worse while he was tapering and for a year off of the pills. He has only recently started getting feelings for me again. He seems a bit afraid of these intense feelings at times! But it does come back in time. My advice would be to 'fake it until you make it.' Deep down you know that you love your husband. Even if you can't always feel it. It will come back. I wish you all the best.

 

Mylifeisback, I am so happy for you! I hope with this new therapists support, you can both heal together.

 

I would like to thank big pharma. Yes really! You almost destroyed us. But it's not often a couple get to fall head over heals in love- twice! So thank you for that. We won- not you! :P

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btdt

I hope you shard the name of the therapist that is helping you.  Happy to hear of the find. 

 

For anyone still doubting the extreme personality changes with these drugs check this out and keep a copy for the non believers.... share it with them... 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12659-richard-bain-tells-murder-trial-anti-depressant-drugs-changed-him-before-2012-pq-attack/

 

I will say before you read it that docs and others will say yes but he was not taking his med right... let me tell you it is common for a confused drug afflicted mind to not take the meds right ... to not be able to think well enough to do so... 

 

others Sarah Carlin for instance started illegal drug use while on an AD many have and alcohol abuse and use too... all is common... 

 

common to man... 

 

It is the doctors and drug regulators we have to convince in order to get some help for this... as most don't believe it..... choose not to believe it. 

 

peace all

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Area1255

SSRIS are bull crap they destroy people and families, I am living proof.

Indeed they are. My ex she started an SSRI and ever since she no longer has any need for social contact (or contact with reality for that matter). 

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Area1255

I've seen countless people express their hatred toward SSRI's; and with only a few rare exceptions these drugs in particular, generally diminish all 'true' quality of life.

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btdt

The drugs have the ability to make you stupid and detached from your self it is a creepy thing to try to explain to people who have not lived it a few I have found on here know exactly what I am talking about sadly not many of the partners who took the drugs associated with this thread have yet to come here and talk about this interesting debilitating diabolical affect. 

 

I am one of the people who lived so I feel very sorry for the man who happened to dawn a bath robe and get a gun... it could have been me while drugged... the rest of his personality change is very much like my story.  I think it takes a long time to come out of it... and when you do generally your life and psyche are in shreds ... it is a lot of work to get thru it IF you happen to find the right information IF you ever get off the drugs... 

 

Finding the information is a crap shoot I would be surprised if 1% of the people who live this and who need the information actually find it or actually have the right support to heal to get to a place of understanding this affect of these drugs on some of us on them.  I do not think it is as rare as some suspect I think it common and unrecognised for what it is.  When a patient tells the doc the corresponding symptoms they get bigger and better drugs which further disable the brain and delay or prevent healing.  That is my experience the fact that I am here to talk about it is not an accident.  A long time ago I realised that doctors do not know the people they see well enough to know if they were having extreme personality changes or not... it would be loved ones who would know.  When I found the topix marriaged thread I thought bingo I found a back door into this issue as it is exactly what I suspected... docs think they patients are fine because they don't know them... before drugs when they were well.  They do not know what the people valued.. so don't see it when they throw themselves away. 

 

it is very real... very powerful my term I coined for the living of this state is too dense to know your dense.. dense meaning brain disabled.... 

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mylifeisback

I want to share this with you all to let you know how very bad these drugs are. Saturday night while eating dinner with my son and his new wife's family my husband started to tell my son's father in law about my son's last year of high school. He told him that the last year of my son's High School was the worst year and that when my son went to graduate he went to him and said dad I don't want to go to graduation my husband told my son's father-in-law that that was the happiest day of his life because he did not have to go to that graduation. My son did graduate he did go to graduation and my husband was there the drugs had him so messed up that he doesn't even remember his son's graduation. These drugs take so much away from us memories that never can be replaced.

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dewayne76

(back for a night... I guess) 
It's been a while, I'm trying to catch up tonight. I rarely come back.... "moving on" is hard, so one of the things I do is try not to think about these sites anymore. Incidentally the best thing for me, is to ignore it all. The quest, the sharing, the spreading the word... is overbearing. And sometimes, pointless. So many people just shrug it off and look at you like you're an idiot. 

Forgetting. My ex... doesn't remember telling people on our biggest night at the haunted house, that she was sexually active at 13 yo. Bragging about whoring around. Truth? I don't know. She told me during our marriage that she had a few 'bad things' happen, so I was just waiting for her to open up again and get more details on that. So she either twisted it in her mind and made it braggable, or she didn't want to tell me how sexually active she was. 

She didn't remember throwing away family relics that she'd never gotten rid of. 
She didn't remember me being there at her father's funeral. She bawled on my shoulder so much at graveside that my shirt was soaked. 
She didn't remember her social security number. It seems like I noticed at the tax office one day that she had to pull her card out to read it out. 
She didn't remember paying her divorce retainer on our anniversary. 
She didn't remember leaving our two year old in the bedroom, locked in, alone, so she could go party and get high / drunk. (Which she never did drugs or get drunk. didn't like drinking)

I can attest, this sh!t really messes people up, and one of the biggest things I noticed, is the total lack of memory of things they've done. If they truly can't remember, and they're still assholes? Wow, that's truly a wacked out brain. I no longer look at her as the same person.. because she's not. 

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dewayne76

Also, I tried hard to read as much as I could, didn't make it. I just wanted to say, there were a few people to speak directly towards me, and I even wrote in after that, but don't guess I saw the messages then, but I did tonight> To those of you who spoke to me, about me helping others out so much and all that, thank you for your kind words. You know who you are if you wrote it. I didn't realize how impactfull (I totally just made up that word) my story had become. So again, thank you for the kindness and prayers. It means a lot to me. I'm about to head over to my thread and post an update.  

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hurtspouse

Dewayne, you, mms, and mlib were the first of many stories I read which convinced me that my partners behaviour was due to the pills. I honestly don't know what I would have done without these forums. So thank you to each and every one of you.

 

15 months out from his last Paxil pill and we are still trying to make things work. It still feels like I'm doing all the work and he is still extremely selfish. I feel like a puppet, him being the puppet master. I'm wondering how long I can hang in there. My family think I'm crazy for allowing myself to be treated this way. 5 years of being unloved. We've only been together for 9. More unhappy memories than happy now. We have had some nicer times in the past couple of months. But this past week he's been distant again, which makes me paranoid after everything. This is so hard!

 

Sorry I just needed to get things off my chest. This battle is so hard and evidently far from over.

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dewayne76

I'm so sorry you're still in this situation. I just deleted a whole big message, because I feared it would be taken the wrong way. 

I was just merely saying, that you need to DO FOR YOU! We all have breaking points, and if you come to yours, and decide you're just tired of fighting, and ready to make changes to allow yourself to be happy, then you'll have, I'm sure most everyone here's support, if not everyones. Because we all know how this can be for people. I'm sorry, but you're not here to be a measly "Puppet". 

Fight if you must, and make sure that you're still HAPPY while doing it. I want you, as well as everyone else on these forums, to be truly happy. I know, it's not worth it to just be a potato, waiting for change and not being happy. I'm glad it's in the past and I'm to the point of just living with the wake of it. 

Good luck to you. 

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hurtspouse

Thanks dewayne for your words. I've developed somewhat of a think skin through the difficult times in life so I doubt you would have offended me. My mother was physically and emotionally abusive. My grandad abused me. My ex boyfriend was controlling and abusive. This is one of the reasons I fear I am heading for my breaking point. I can't keep playing the victim...

 

The only reason I stay is because of my memory of who he was 'before'

 

These pills really mess you up. I explained on here once that I was put on citalopram for 4 months. I obtained my medical records a few days ago, and was absolutely stunned to find out I was on it for 13 months! It completely altered my perception of time. I'm still in shock.

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mylifeisback

Hurtspouse, my husband never seemed to quit loving me, he was just doing crazy stuff. He thought that I didn't love him.it has been close to 4 years now and he doesn't seem to remember much and he still has issues. For the most part he seems to be better.if on the other hand struggle with him being with other women and all that I do not know that he did. I come back to this site and read a lot and it helps. Hold on like I am and maybe one day it will get better. But in the mean time we have to take care of ourselves.

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hurtspouse

Hi mlib. That's what I'm trying to do. It's just difficult when he's in another wave. He has been opening up a lot more recently. He told me he feels more in love with me now than he ever has. He said that on the pills he knew he loved me, but felt uncomfortable being around me. I haven't been hounding him with my insecure questions since he moved back and being more laid back seems to be prompting him to ask me questions about what he was like. We was looking through old photos the other day and it was heartbreaking when he said that he had very little memory of our daughter when she was 2-4. When he opens up about things like that, it helps me to see that he is a victim as much as the rest of us...

 

I hope things are better for you now Mlib. How have you and your husband been getting along with the new therapist?

 

Like dewayne, I also would love to read happy conclusions for everyone on this site.

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mylifeisback

Hurtspouse, I am really having a hard time, sometimes I feel like I do not love him anymore and to much has happened. I have a very hard time with infidelity it haunts me. Then other times I feel sorry for him. And at other times I believe meds was the reason and other times I feel l8ke he was just having a good time. I catch him lying a lot and that throws me way back. He clings to me like he did when we were first married and I have no me time because he wants to be with me. When he was doing all his crap he didn't care where I was or what I was doing, to tell you the truth is like that freedom (but not how I got it).I need some freedom now but I am afraid that he may cheat again and also a part of me is afraid to leave him alone.I am very mixed up and confused.that is why I found a new therapist, I feel so wishy-washy. This is so hard to understand.

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hurtspouse

You just described my feelings totally. When my partner isn't with me- I worry that he'll be up to no good. When he is with me I feel a bit claustrophobic. I also question my feelings a lot. However, he has changed for the better. He used to keep his phone hidden all the time from me, now he leaves it laying around, unlocked. He reassures me all the time by being a lot more open with me. It's just going to take a while for me to regain my trust. I wonder if we'll ever feel that wonderful carefree love again. God I hope so. He said he wants us to have a chance to finally be happy so I am sticking around to try. He's been working hard at changing his diet and doing a bit of exercise on his better days. So it's heading in the right direction. I think I'm going to get back into horse riding to get some me time. The way I see it, if he looks elsewhere while I'm living my life- I will be done for good. Life is too short to keep living in fear. I hope you too can find the courage to live for you again. You deserve it.

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mylifeisback

Hurtspouse, I am trying to get on withis my life, I am trying to get a new business together and do some classes with my other business. I have never been through anything like this before in my life. If a person had not been through thisome, they would not understand. Mine also leaves his phone and wallet out where I can see it, that is one thing he did not do while drugged. He kept his phone in his truck and he would put his wallet and keys in the pocket of his pants and while sleeping he would put them right by his side of the bed. Isn't strange how they knew to keep secrets? I want this to go away. My husband is trying so hard, he is better to me now than ever before, why did I have to go through hell to get a good husband? It is all so crazy.

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