Jump to content
btdt

Marriages destroyed by SSRI SNRI - Topix

Recommended Posts

mylifeisback

I was the worst person to him and he was also very mean to our children but no one else. the prostitute said he was as nice to her as anyone could be. But he did turn really angry with a co-worker/friend when he started telling me what my husband was doung.

Share this post


Link to post
hurtspouse

That must have been a horrible time for you mylifeisback. I was wondering if it is normal for partners to still be distant and quite hostile post ssri use? Partner is 3 months and 1 week post Paxil now. He keeps saying that he doesn't know how to be with me, so he is just cold and often ignores me. It is so hurtful, and quite clear that he doesn't understand the pain he has, and is still causing me. Will he ever start to care again?

Share this post


Link to post
AnotherAnon

hurtspouse, It can take a while for them to turn around. My SO was on Effexor for 6 months, it took at least that long for her feelings to even begin coming back. She was cruel and off the wall, waiting for the "shift" is like watching grass grow. You dont notice a difference, you dont notice a difference, you still dont notice a difference...then one day you wake up and there is some warmth again. It comes in small waves. The appreciation slowly starts coming back, sometimes it's a confused appreciation. "I know I should love you...I feel confused". 

I think this thing is bigger than any of us know and I think there is more to the physiology than any of us know. Like I posted a couple of weeks ago, 1 month on Lamictal (NON SSRI, Mood Stabilizer) sent my SO into another mania. She has been off it for over a week, really no difference at all yet. She's confused again. She loves me, wants to be with me, leaves me notes in the morning. Then tells me she is confused and I get silent treatment when I get home. She has no idea how badly I am trying to heal, but I cannot heal in this relationship without her support and love.

Share this post


Link to post
dmpjhp

AnotherAnon,

How long has she been off the Effexor? Just wondering if it could still be withdrawal from that also. My ex would rollercoaster for months from warm feelings, confused feelings and then BAM hate me again. Literally, just stop all communication after a pleasant night out to eat. Began divorce papers less than a month later, no conscience whatsoever.

I just can't wrap my head around him believing that I am so evil and everything is my fault. How can the damage be that severe and last for so long?

Others are starting to see changes in him that have nothing to do with me.

Share this post


Link to post
hurtspouse

AnotherAnon, that is exactly how I feel. He keeps telling me to be happy and keep busy. But I feel so ill/anxious/depressed that I'm pretty useless most days. I can only keep up with the 180 plan on my good days. How can we possibly heal when we are still being treated this way! It is such a cruel waiting game. I'm booked in for a counselling session this Thursday so I'm hoping that will help. AA do you have some support? Family, friends or counselling? My family have pulled through for me (I've told them the minimum details) but I don't want to overburden them with my misery, which I why I'm going to counselling. Interestingly, my SO has agreed to come with me when his head clears a bit. So that is encouraging (he was previously against going).

Share this post


Link to post
AnotherAnon

AnotherAnon,

How long has she been off the Effexor? Just wondering if it could still be withdrawal from that also. My ex would rollercoaster for months from warm feelings, confused feelings and then BAM hate me again. Literally, just stop all communication after a pleasant night out to eat. Began divorce papers less than a month later, no conscience whatsoever.

I just can't wrap my head around him believing that I am so evil and everything is my fault. How can the damage be that severe and last for so long?

Others are starting to see changes in him that have nothing to do with me.

 

dmpjhp, She has been off Effexor for about two years. During her pregnancy she became much warmer. There were days that I actually felt and recognized the same love she had for me before Effexor. Immediately after the birth she was warm too. Then it went away. Then she became hypomanic (no drugs at all). She got violent one night and seemed to act like she did on Effexor (minus the cheating). Took her to a psych as it was affecting our home life, and she got the bipolar diagnosis. Started Lamictal and Zyprexa and became manic. She's off the Lamictal now but is still manic and very agitated. I know that "Bipolar" is like a bad word on these forums - but I truly do feel she has a mood disorder, and apparently it can be kicked off w/o any medications. Some medications have only made it worse. Looking for the one(s) that can start to reverse the mania and anxiety.

 

AnotherAnon, that is exactly how I feel. He keeps telling me to be happy and keep busy. But I feel so ill/anxious/depressed that I'm pretty useless most days. I can only keep up with the 180 plan on my good days. How can we possibly heal when we are still being treated this way! It is such a cruel waiting game. I'm booked in for a counselling session this Thursday so I'm hoping that will help. AA do you have some support? Family, friends or counselling? My family have pulled through for me (I've told them the minimum details) but I don't want to overburden them with my misery, which I why I'm going to counselling. Interestingly, my SO has agreed to come with me when his head clears a bit. So that is encouraging (he was previously against going).

 

hurtspouse, it is about as cruel as it can get. I'm the bad guy for expecting and longing for her affection. I'm not a sex hound, I ******* love her and I miss being with her. There is a melancholy feeling when we are playing with our son together on the floor or preparing dinner. We are great parents. Our son is happy and healthy. It all makes me love and want her even more. I find her even more attractive watching her as a mother. The more I want her the less she wants me. But again, she keeps saying how confused she feels. That she knows she loves me. I have limited support. I began seeing a therapist. It's nice to tell someone everything but this situation is weird and even the therapist seems lost. I have very few friends, who are also friends with my SO. I do not want to say anything and risk their response being less than ideal. I am going with her to every one of her psych appointments, and she is giving us both some light therapy. She recognizes the mania (actually caught it before I did) and is trying to guide us both. But it really seems like she needs to be medicated and we're just trying to figure it out. 

 

I'm glad you're going to therapy. It can start off really slow. The first couple of visits dont seem like much until they get to know you. I would suggest Cognitive Behavior Therapy if available. I understand what you mean about not wanting to tell friends/family too much. Because then you have to follow up at some point and qualify that things are better (if that happens). This **** really confuses people.

Share this post


Link to post
Elvisface

Good Evening or Morning!

 

I am SO of a lexapro abuser. I prolly won't be the first are last to say this. My wife on lexapro did things she would never do. She became a drug addict, a drunk, and used sexxed to get drugs so there was no paper trail for me to follow.

 

She is 9 months off lexapro, she started having guilt on the 6th month and came clean to me about everything. Now she crys everyday and complains she feels raped.

 

I am at the point where I can almost separate her from the mess the lexapro made. I wish I could run away, I planned to after I got her through withdraws. But I see her now, she is beautiful to me again.

 

I have stumbled around this board for sometime. I have talked to the great Dwayne on facebook. I wish I could repay him some how.

 

I think we can make it threw this. If I can just focus on the good and move past the other woman lexapro created.

 

Forgive my Grammer I am on a mobile and I'm from south louisiana.

Share this post


Link to post
Elvisface

Also we can't find a marriage therapist that believes ssri can do this to someone, so both have trouble venting this grief.

 

I know we have a long road ahead of us. I not afraid to be the first to write a really great success story.

Share this post


Link to post
hurtspouse

Elvisface I am looking forward to reading your success story very soon! It sounds like you have been to hell and back, but the wife that you knew before the pills is returning. I hope you can heal together. I imagine it takes a long time with lots of talking and venting and soul searching before you can both move on from this.

Share this post


Link to post
hurtspouse

So my partner just sent me a very open text which kind of gave me an insight into his jumbled, 4 months post Paxil brain:

 

"I know that! But like I said I still did these things and weather I was on these pills or not I still have the guilt and shame! My head still is all over the place some days I feel like the old me some days I feel like the bad me. And while I'm like all this I can't get close to you because I hurt you so much I can't and won't hurt you anymore than I have already."

 

It looks like he has finally figured out that his personality changes were due to the pills.

Share this post


Link to post
Elvisface

 I am in the process of making a better life for my family, after my beautiful wife turned into the crypt keeper. I just want to thank all of you I stalked all your stories for the last few months. I still use them and other post to reinforce my beliefs. I thank all you so much.

My stages:

 

1. before the weekend 6 months off the meds She told me all the BS - I lost it. I made her write it all out. So I could take it to the lawyers office after the weekend.

2.  Disgust anger

3.  Sadness/Anger

4. Trying to control emotions, start listening to her try to explain her emotional numbness, don't believe it.  

5. Monday comes I decide to go to work and put divorce on hold.Go to marriage therapist (maybe someone can help us) Neither do believe my wife's story, makes my wife and I feel even worse

6. 7th month: After counseling one day I drank a half of 5th of wild turkey, mentally abuse my wife and lots of pushing her around, try to kill myself. I got put in an institution for 2.5 days. I had to go into mandatory groups there with ppl who had been abused by ssri for years, and i could see how sick they were. Women with stories way worse than my wife's. Psych ward tried to put my on Zoloft, i played nice and said i would take them, I was ready to go. I learned my lesson and wanted the heck outta there. I flushed them as soon as I got home. 

7. I begin trying to understand my situation. I found many sites that backed her story up. I started to believe it more and more.

8. I put myself on the 8 step program in dealing with adultery (youtube)

      This was the hardest part, because it involved acceptance. In my case was hard bc my wife would never do this without the meds. I            kept pushing all of it side because of the whole personality thing.  I made her explain to me as much as she could. It was like ripping         a band off. You have to accept that this happened to your wife. 

9. Now there is no reason to keep digging up the dead. We can move forward. 

 

 

I still have some PTSD like symptoms, but seeing how she feels horrible. I decided to remove my ego from the situation. I recommend this to everybody. Do not fall on your insecurities. This nightmare is worse on them, than you. They were the sleeper. This happened to them physically and mentally. You were just unaware of the coma.  

 

 

My wife feels depressed and ashamed now that the fog has lifted on her brain. She knows it will take time to heal.  I was wondering if you have any wisdom to share for her. I try to explain that it wasn't her, and to release the cross that she bares for the other personality. She still has to work at the same job that she worked at before, she says this is huge trigger. She is in the process of finding another job. 

 

Please PM or reply with any info to help her through this. All I can do is tell her I am going to see her through this, and hold her. 

 

Have great day and good luck to everyone!!!

Share this post


Link to post
hurtspouse

Thanks elvisface. I think you're right, but I'm disappointed to find that he does occasionally feel remorse, then goes back to unfeeling again. He won't come near me either. He is really distant and still makes insulting 'jokes' about me and the children. Plus he is still staying out of the house as much as possible. Still chatty and a little flirty. It's such a struggle waking up each morning wondering if he will have improved, even slightly. I'm so scared that I may never get him back.

 

AA how have you been lately? Any improvement?

 

Wishing each and every one of you peace and happiness.

Share this post


Link to post
Elvisface

Hurtspouse, I'm sorry it is hell. As long as he is not popping the pills and or self mediating... he should come to baseline, I've always heard so much about the 6th month.

 

Thanks for the wishes! Back at ya!

 

Ya where is AA???

Share this post


Link to post
manymoretodays

Nor I.........on btdt.

 

This in an interesting thread.  One thought comes to mind.........maybe off topic a bit...........self care is not self love.  Also something about co-dependency..........and that may be further off topic..........

 

Just read through some of the last 2 pages or so.  And you know........it's kind of weird but some of this stuff happens to people without psycho drugs and such too.  So.......I don't know much..........especially on the drawing of conclusions anymore.  But I am learning a lot I think or feel like I can understand more and more different viewpoints.

 

This coming from someone who is very thankful for a much needed divorce, which was of course, done primarily during some psycho drugging and/or withdrawal.

 

It sure is a crazy world sometimes.  And painful.  And a whole bunch of good stuff running along in between.

Share this post


Link to post
AnotherAnon

Well....not sure what to think anymore. I thought we had moved past our issues after the antidepressants. However...

 

This past weekend my partner (recently diagnosed as bipolar) had a manic episode and assaulted me and her mom. She  shoved while me while I was holding our son and punched me several times. She started throwing stuff at both of us. She destroyed the apartment and attempted to break my car windows as I was driving away with our son. She is very mentally ill. She really has no idea how bad this is. I removed our son from the home and she doesnt really understand why. She is furious with me and everyone else. The cops couldn't do much because she played it off. 

 

I know that a lot of people here do not agree that just because you respond poorly to antidepressants mean you are bipolar. However, in her case, she definitely has a mental illness. I've tried for years to get her adequate treatment. Antidepressants flair up her mania, but she needs something. Like a lot of therapy and possible some medications. 

 

Now I am seeking custody of our son if she does not get the help she needs, and I'm not even sure what help she does need. So frustrating to watch your family unravel. 

Share this post


Link to post
manymoretodays

Well....not sure what to think anymore. I thought we had moved past our issues after the antidepressants. However...

 

This past weekend my partner (recently diagnosed as bipolar) had a manic episode and assaulted me and her mom. She  shoved while me while I was holding our son and punched me several times. She started throwing stuff at both of us. She destroyed the apartment and attempted to break my car windows as I was driving away with our son. She is very mentally ill. She really has no idea how bad this is. I removed our son from the home and she doesnt really understand why. She is furious with me and everyone else. The cops couldn't do much because she played it off. 

 

I know that a lot of people here do not agree that just because you respond poorly to antidepressants mean you are bipolar. However, in her case, she definitely has a mental illness. I've tried for years to get her adequate treatment. Antidepressants flair up her mania, but she needs something. Like a lot of therapy and possible some medications. 

 

Now I am seeking custody of our son if she does not get the help she needs, and I'm not even sure what help she does need. So frustrating to watch your family unravel. 

 

I have never heard of that theory above........ responding poorly to AD's means you are bipolar.   The one I have heard of is that AD's can induce bipolar in susceptible individuals.   It does sound like she has some severe behavior and anger issues going on right now.

 

I think what "we" are after is full disclosure when being prescribed psycho meds...........as to the pros and cons and health risks, and much more judicious use of them.  As well as more holistic(mind, body, spirit, social) treatment and unlabeling............kind of off topic again.  Perhaps better services for families in crisis as well.

 

I hope that things work out well for all of you involved in your family.  And that help for you all is accessible and affordable.  That support comes for you from somewhere.  Understanding support.  That you are given choices.    And it does look like you are getting some of that here.   Sincerely.  You as well, Elvis.

Share this post


Link to post
AnotherAnon

I really appreciate everyone's support. I hate that so many of us are still going through the relationship roller coaster, for whatever reason. As someone said above, these behaviors can and do happen even without medications. Some people really are ill. And we all respond to medications differently. I am currently on Celexa myself. As much as I hate these drugs, it has taken a huge edge off for me and right now is really helping me to cope. It will not be long term. 

 

My girlfriend and I are currently on a break while she gets treatment. She is going to therapy multiple times a week. She stopped taking her meds and seems to actually be chilling out. But this is confusing because initially she was going nuts before the meds and when starting the meds began chilling out. She cycles so quickly and things quit working. I HATE that in this country mental health support is damn near impossible if you dont have insurance. This country needs to take care of it's citizens mental needs.

Share this post


Link to post
hurtspouse

Thank you so much TeaBea! I think I will take one tonight and see how I go, then one just before my hospital appointment. Then I will not take any more. I'm trying not to worry, but with all that this year has brought me, I feel I am at breaking point.

 

On another note, I have noticed my SO returning a bit more. He is calling me terms of endearment again (baby, darling etc) and he sounds more warmer towards me. But the reality of his behavioural changes whilst medicated doesn't seem to have sunk in yet. But baby steps I guess!

Share this post


Link to post
alchemist

I have created a facebook group regarding the destructive effects of antidepressants on marriages. Please visit the group page and share your story. You will be helping spread awareness to this issue which is destroying relationships, lives, and society as a whole. Thank you. https://www.facebook.com/groups/439450402922935/

Share this post


Link to post
hurtspouse

No real improvement here 5 1/2 months out from his last pill. If anything he is worse than when he was on the Paxil. He is moody and picks fights with my eldest daughter daily. He's been sleeping on the sofa and has made no move to show affection of any sort towards me. He will get in from work and give our youngest child some time and attention for a while, then spend the rest of the evening playing games on his phone and going on Facebook or playing on the Xbox. He doesn't care or ask how I'm doing. Just expects me to continue keeping house, walking his dog, (which is excitable and too strong for me) and cooking at his specified time. I am a total doormat and getting sick of it!!! He complains that he feels awful all the time and takes it all out on me as if it's my fault (because it couldn't possibly be his precious paxils fault!!).

 

To top it all off we need to renew our mortgage and our 'mortgage advisor' got in touch with me. This is one of the ladies he was texting inappropriately over a long period of time. It brought it all back for me, I feel like it's everywhere I look. Songs, places, anything can trigger that gut wrenching pain and it hits at the worst times. I can be just drifting off to sleep when I feel a massive shot of adrenaline straight in my stomach (that's the best way to describe it) then I won't sleep for ages after. So getting a letter from this woman was extremely upsetting.

 

I told SO that I would rather find a new mortgage advisor or handle it ourselves. His response? 'I haven't got time to be messing about with all that, just email her yourself and she will sort everything!' Cold hearted £@?!:r!!!

I don't know how much more of this I can take. I really am starting to think that I've lost him forever. I think I'm going to have to get my business up and running ASAP because I can't continue like this, and may need to ask him to move out for my own sanity.

 

I googled ptsd and have every single symptom.

 

Sorry for the rant, just needed to get it all out.

Share this post


Link to post
DevastatedWife

Nor I.........on btdt.

 

This in an interesting thread.  One thought comes to mind.........maybe off topic a bit...........self care is not self love.  Also something about co-dependency..........and that may be further off topic..........

 

Just read through some of the last 2 pages or so.  And you know........it's kind of weird but some of this stuff happens to people without psycho drugs and such too.  So.......I don't know much..........especially on the drawing of conclusions anymore.  But I am learning a lot I think or feel like I can understand more and more different viewpoints.

 

This coming from someone who is very thankful for a much needed divorce, which was of course, done primarily during some psycho drugging and/or withdrawal.

 

It sure is a crazy world sometimes.  And painful.  And a whole bunch of good stuff running along in between.

 

 

No real improvement here 5 1/2 months out from his last pill. If anything he is worse than when he was on the Paxil. He is moody and picks fights with my eldest daughter daily. He's been sleeping on the sofa and has made no move to show affection of any sort towards me. He will get in from work and give our youngest child some time and attention for a while, then spend the rest of the evening playing games on his phone and going on Facebook or playing on the Xbox. He doesn't care or ask how I'm doing. Just expects me to continue keeping house, walking his dog, (which is excitable and too strong for me) and cooking at his specified time. I am a total doormat and getting sick of it!!! He complains that he feels awful all the time and takes it all out on me as if it's my fault (because it couldn't possibly be his precious paxils fault!!).

 

To top it all off we need to renew our mortgage and our 'mortgage advisor' got in touch with me. This is one of the ladies he was texting inappropriately over a long period of time. It brought it all back for me, I feel like it's everywhere I look. Songs, places, anything can trigger that gut wrenching pain and it hits at the worst times. I can be just drifting off to sleep when I feel a massive shot of adrenaline straight in my stomach (that's the best way to describe it) then I won't sleep for ages after. So getting a letter from this woman was extremely upsetting.

 

I told SO that I would rather find a new mortgage advisor or handle it ourselves. His response? 'I haven't got time to be messing about with all that, just email her yourself and she will sort everything!' Cold hearted £@?!:r!!!

I don't know how much more of this I can take. I really am starting to think that I've lost him forever. I think I'm going to have to get my business up and running ASAP because I can't continue like this, and may need to ask him to move out for my own sanity.

 

I googled ptsd and have every single symptom.

 

Sorry for the rant, just needed to get it all out.

 

 

Hurt Spouse - manymoretodays posted this a while back and it's completely true.  This is what makes it harder for me to go through all of this crap because it's hard to discern character flaws or actions vs drug induced or withdrawal based actions.  This is where I am now.....I'm going to an IC and am trying to work through everything but he isn't.  So this is what I plan to do.  I'm going to have a conversation with him because I can't be the only one working to change this.  He has to figure out why all of this occurred and he can't blame the drugs solely because there was something underneath of it that allowed him to a.) take the drug without questioning it and b.) remaining on them (ie: I believe he liked the escape).

 

I have extended the grace to attempt to rebuild this mess of a marriage but I cannot do it alone and if he isn't trying to find out his why then I can't trust him.  He says that he would never behave this way again but as I said he hasn't done the work to prove to me this is the case.  I don't feel safe with him (I don't mean physically), I can't trust him, I need to be emotionally connected and he just reverted back to his pre-drug self.  I've done a lot of soul searching and thinking about this and I'm in a good place either way it goes.  I am not afraid to be alone because the truth is, I've been alone for a very long time and you are alone right now too.

 

You should not tolerate this and you need to protect your children.  Every time he lashes out at them or you, it destroys their spirit and changes who they are.  It is better to healthy alone than deal with that kind of chaos.  I can't tell you what to do nor would I but just know that you deserve better than that and you can't help or save anyone that won't save themselves.  Also - there is a chance that he has changed and not for the better, that person you fell in love with could have either changed (from the drugs either temporarily or permanently)or his true colors are shining through.  Unfortunately that is something that all of us in this boat have to figure out.

Share this post


Link to post
mylifeisback

I can say that now almost 3 years cold turkey I finally see my husband really suffering from all that he did while drugged. Do I understand what happened no I do not, do I feel that Celexa did it all I am not sure but I do see a change in him. I see him trying to make it up every day. I still am not 100% sure if I will ever overcome this mess. he claims it was the drugs and not him.it takes time a long time for the drugged to really see what has happened and what it has done to us.It is up to us if we can make it through to the other side and it's not easy at all.I pray we sll will makevit.

Share this post


Link to post
hurtspouse

Thank you for your replies devistatedwife and mylifeisback. I know exactly what you mean about working out the difference between the two personalities. To be quite honest I can no longer remember what he used to be like and I really do try. As time passes the happy memories fade. The other day I came across an old birthday card he'd given me. Inside it said the most loving things, I just couldn't believe he had once written it. I burst in to tears because I would do literally anything to have him like that again. Why oh why did I ever take him to the GP for his anxiety?! You're right though, my children do deserve better as do I. But I can't quit just yet. I will get through Christmas and make a fresh start in the new year one way or the other. Life is too short to keep living with a hostile stranger.

Share this post


Link to post
mylifeisback

I feel the same way as I also sent my husband to ou GP for depression following his son's death. I now know that he wasn't depressed he was mourning and that needs talking therapy not pills.

Share this post


Link to post
Elvisface

Santa_On_Meds.jpg

 

 

Got bored today, so I vented. 

Share this post


Link to post
manymoretodays

Lol.  Tis the season Elvis.

 

I don't even know about the talking therapy.......re:grief anymore.  Most especially involving men and the way they box stuff up.  Lord knows though, if he is willing......by all means, if you have the means.........start the search........and luck be with you in finding a good one.

 

Sounds sound hurtspouse.  Are you out working and such?  That can be really good therapy for an unhappy homelife.  Used to work for me for a long time.  I don't know much but that infidelity can do a number........on a marriage, from what I hear.  I think equally something to keep in mind is that the single life is no picnic either.......if you can agree on separation maybe...... and can afford it.........and then start dating him again in awhile or something.  I don't know.  They all wander.......at least mentally and with imagery and such, at some point........men, that is.........I mean I think they do from what they say when they are honest.  Maybe the meds. just gave him some false bravado that would have never previously surfaced.

 

But sheesh, yah..........get a new realtor or mortgage broker or something.  She should be history in my humble opinion.  Or go make friends with her..........sorry, wish I knew.

Share this post


Link to post
manymoretodays

Shoot......too late to edit.  And I should disclose that I felt manipulated and deceived and was taken in by an online......... then text relationship, with a married guy.  From a mental health site no less.  I finally ended it.  And no.......wouldn't want to be friends with his wife at this point.  I mean he was nasty towards her.   Nor will I be so vulnerable in that way again.  I suppose it had it's place in my education to date though.  Maybe she saved you from some further abuse emotionally........I don't know.......that was my final rationale for my own behavior.  To forgive myself.  To forgive him.   Live and learn.  It isn't always easy.........is it?

 

I am surprised she contacted you guys really.  It might be interesting to hear her side of the story.......or not.......probably wouldn't help you let go of the resentment......

 

I can't sit around and blame neuroemotions and withdrawal on everything though.  Stuff happens.  One learns to let go of it.......or I did.  It took awhile.

Share this post


Link to post
hurtspouse

Manymoretodays I did actually contact her. SO had his iPad connected with his iPhone but started leaving the iPad at home for me and the kids to use (big mistake!). His texts and emails all came through on the iPad! That is how I caught him! I've never been one to snoop and trusted him completely before. I messaged this lady straight away and asked her what was going on. It was clear to me that he was the chaser. She was politely telling him no throughout. She agreed to not speak to him anymore and the letter was sent to me (even though we have a joint mortgage). I'm not working just yet but have something great planned in the new year which I'm really excited about! I'm just going to focus on that for now and also making Christmas extra special for my children. I will assess the relationship situation later on. But I'm mentally preparing to become a single parent. I can't go on feeling like this and neither can my children, and I'm not sure I can overcome everything. He has always denied physically cheating on me, but I feel in my gut that he has. It is a deal breaker for me.

Share this post


Link to post
manymoretodays

Sounds good. You seem to have your priorities straight and plenty to keep you busy. This is such complicated stuff. I hope he comes to his senses again or if not can be a decent co parent. I know that good men exist still or they can morph into that goodness....Lol.

Share this post


Link to post
hurtspouse

My brain is always in overdrive lately and it just occurred to me that my SO went on strong antibiotics about 2 months post Paxil. Do you think this may have slowed down his healing?

Share this post


Link to post
manymoretodays

Hey, it is possible from what I have read.  And me too........now on ABX(antibiotics) and wavering a bit more.

 

I have read(here) that it can throw one off a bit.  In my case they have helped, even in a couple of days with the physical symptoms I was having, but whoosh back to the so familiar......grit and bear it.  Do what I can.  Prioritize and possibly.......not step back completely but just hold.   I suppose I will do a brief search.  Not obsess.  Sometimes one has to do what they have to do.  Listen to ones body and such.

 

So many other factors too.........for me, it is hard to know what is what exactly.  I'm a year out now from Lexapro........5 months out from a brief stint of low dose Adderal.........so many others as well in the preceding years and still titrating down on Trileptal/oxcarb.......... anyway.........overall in such a better place as a whole.  That is......feel more whole than ever.

 

Both here and in real life I have heard that the "fluroquinilones(?sp)" can do a real number on the nervous system.  That's a class of ABX.

 

Other than that.......I don't know much.

 

Read around is about all I can offer........I'm not sure that the moderators come around to the relationships section too much.......I think that the gist here is to help with those who wish to get off their meds. in a safe manner and then support for that.

 

Thank you ..........somehow the posts in this section have helped me in some way.........in this interesting journey of mine to date.

 

........symptoms and self care section.......I found some stuff on ABX..........for me, right now.........it's a just a increase in the anxiety type stuff........

 

And Lol.......sorry for such a long answer to your question "do you think this may have slowed down his healing?"

 

I will say sure, it's possible.........but there are really no absolutes to it/direct answers........W/D stuff........just some patterns and collective experiences and tools/ideas/great people to help manage it..........as well as knowledge beginning....... barely to hit the mainstream........

 

I hope that your spouse takes an interest one of these days and possibly comes on board..........just as I hope my son takes control of his present difficulties due to alcohol use...............we can't do it for them...........this I do know.

Share this post


Link to post
manymoretodays

Effexor was the medication that sent me into a long enough hypomania to pull off my much needed divorce.  I think I was on Seroquel too at the time, as well.........for my balancer, so to speak.

 

Not suggesting this by any means........just reminiscing a bit, as things come back to me.

Share this post


Link to post
hurtspouse

Thanks for sharing manymoretodays. I think you're right that he has to be more proactive in his health/recovery. Every time I send him a link, he ignores it. Or might click on it while for a few minutes, read a little bit, then tell me 'he can't be bothered'. It's so frustrating!

Share this post


Link to post
hurtspouse

He's gone again! 15 year old daughter saw him browsing dating profiles on his phone this morning while I was upstairs. He kept denying it. I tried to talk to him but he tried passing the blame and saying that we are stressing HIM out! He has become a complete sociopath. Im done. Sorry I wish I could've brought you some good news.

Share this post


Link to post
alchemist

If any of you use twitter check out #SSRIdivorce 

Share this post


Link to post
hurtspouse

I was wondering if anyone has considered gathering all of the research done on this subject including a collection of people's personal stories? I feel a burning need to spread awareness on the devastating effects of these drugs. The hacker group 'anonymous' could help us tremendously. It is at least worth a try?

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy