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picchy Citalopram withdrawal

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picchy

Hello everyone,

 

I wondered if any of you can help. I never took antidepressants before until six years ago when my mum died (Citalopram 20mg).

 

I tapered very slowly over about six months and finally came off them in March of this year.

 

About two weeks later I had the most severe and frightening depression of my life. It went away and I had two months of feeling fine - so I thought the withdrawal was over.

 

However, the awful depression and anxiety returned and it's now been more than a month of hell. Out of depsperation, and because I didn't want to be stuck on SSRIs for life, I started taking moclobemide at a very low dose. The side-effects have been severe though (I also suffer badly from ME/CFS) and I'm not sure it's going to help. I never routinely had depression before - it was only when something awful happened.

 

Will going on other SSRIs after this time or back on citalopram (4 and a half months) even work - or will it make things worse? Will the MAO (moclobemide) make things worse?

 

I've become housebound due to the combination of severe depression and my ME and am desperate.

 

Thanks for any help,

Picchy

 

 


Sufferer of moderate ME/CFS since 2005

Started 20mg Citalopram in March 2008 due to bereavement

Was fine since then with no adverse effects or depression - so decided to taper off

Came off it in March 2014 after a five-month taper, which I thought was a long time

Experienced a month of uncharacteristic depression in April 2014

Two months feeling fine

In June 2014 return of depression then an overnight physical crash leaving me debilitated in July

Tried to take moclobemide at low dose for 2 weeks in July but severe reaction

Housebound since then, ME now severe

No meds taken

Female, 38 years old

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Addax

Hi Picchy.

I'm simply another member but wanted to welcome you to SA. A moderator and/or administrator will be along soon to help answer so e of your questions and provide you with some guidance, as well as have a few questions to help them inform their recommendations.

 

I'm sorry you're going through this difficult time. Withdrawal can be so scary sometimes... I think you'll be very glad you joined SA. You'll get a lot of support here from members and some very knowledgable administrators. Their advice and support has helped me a great deal.

 

So hold tight, someone will be along soon.

 

Again, Welcome!


1988-2012: Prozac @ 60mg to treat an eating disorder. Several unsuccessful attempts to discontinue.Fall 2012: Failed attempt to discontinue then -> 40mg Prozac and added 150mg Wellbutrin.Late summer 2013:Began slower Prozac taper.Spring 2014:Got to 10mg Prozac, 75mg of Wellbutrin -April 2014: 9mg Prozac & 37.5mg Wellbutrin 2x/day -> 9mg Prozac & 25 mg Wellbutrin 2x/day->9mg Prozac 1x/day & ~8mg Wellbutrin 2x/day -> 8.1mg Prozac, 0 WellbutrinSept '14: 8.1mg Prozac -> crashed hardOct '14: 10mg ProzacNov '14: 20mg -> 30mgDec '14: 30mg, Feb 10: 27mg. Mar 7: 25mg Mar 21, 2015: 20mg. May 21, 2016: 20mg and holding strong.

 

My experience: http://rxisk.org/antidepressant-withdrawal-a-prozac-story/

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picchy

Thank you SIlver Star x


Sufferer of moderate ME/CFS since 2005

Started 20mg Citalopram in March 2008 due to bereavement

Was fine since then with no adverse effects or depression - so decided to taper off

Came off it in March 2014 after a five-month taper, which I thought was a long time

Experienced a month of uncharacteristic depression in April 2014

Two months feeling fine

In June 2014 return of depression then an overnight physical crash leaving me debilitated in July

Tried to take moclobemide at low dose for 2 weeks in July but severe reaction

Housebound since then, ME now severe

No meds taken

Female, 38 years old

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Altostrata

Welcome, picchy.

 

Many people report unprecedented "black holes" emotionally as a withdrawal symptom. This sounds like what you're experiencing.

 

Usually when people are recently off an antidepressant and get withdrawal symptoms, reinstatement of a very low dose of the antidepressant -- in your case, citalopram -- relieve or reduce the withdrawal symptoms. Then, one would stabilize for some months and taper with very, very small reductions to go off completely.

 

However, since you've gone on moclobemide, an MAOI, your situation is more complicated. One must allow a washout period after taking an MAOI before taking an SSRI like citalopram.

 

With moclobemide, the advised washout period is unusually short http://www.medicinesresources.nhs.uk/upload/documents/Evidence/Medicines%20Q%20&%20A/NW%20QA151.4%20switching%20antidepressants%20-%20MAOIs,%20SSRIs,%20TCAs%20and%20related.doc -- 2 days.

 

Still, if I were you, I'd allow a week. Withdrawal syndrome and adverse effects of moclobemide may have made your nervous system very sensitive to any kind of psychiatric drug or even some foods or supplements.

 

Given that, I would not try any more than 1mg citalopram if you want to try this. There are no guarantees. With the moclobemide adverse reactions and other drugs you may be taking, your nervous system may be so sensitive you cannot take any additional neuroactive drugs.

 

Citalopram comes in a liquid so you can take very small amounts, see information about titration here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2023-tips-for-tapering-off-celexa-citalopram/

 

What other drugs are you taking? Put them all in this Drug Interactions Checker http://www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.html and post the results in this topic.

 

How did you go off citalopram? What was the last dose you took?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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picchy

Thanks so much for the reply.

 

I came off citalopram 4 and a half months ago and tapered very very slowly. Because it's been so long I don't even know if going back on it will help. What do you think?

 

I was hoping the MAO might help but it's had an agitating effect so far. I've only taken it at a tiny dose for 11 days though so I don't know if I should give it a chance for the side-effects to wear off or not.

 

I don't take any other drugs.

 

Started citalopram March 2008 at 20mg when my mum died.

 

Tapered over six months and stopped March 2014.

 

Had month of severe depression followed by 2 months of feeling fine. Since then the depression has come back badly for over a month.


Sufferer of moderate ME/CFS since 2005

Started 20mg Citalopram in March 2008 due to bereavement

Was fine since then with no adverse effects or depression - so decided to taper off

Came off it in March 2014 after a five-month taper, which I thought was a long time

Experienced a month of uncharacteristic depression in April 2014

Two months feeling fine

In June 2014 return of depression then an overnight physical crash leaving me debilitated in July

Tried to take moclobemide at low dose for 2 weeks in July but severe reaction

Housebound since then, ME now severe

No meds taken

Female, 38 years old

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Altostrata

It's very likely you are sensitized to psychiatric drugs and will have adverse reactions to any of them.

 

Please see non-drug ways to manage emotional symptoms http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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picchy

Hello everyone,

 

I've found so much useful information on this site that just doesn't seem available anywhere else - so thank you.

 

However I'm still unsure if my situation is protracted withdrawal or not.

 

A couple of weeks after I came off Citalopram (Celexa) 20mg I had the worst, most frightening depression of my life. I am confused because after a month of this it went away, and I felt completely fine for two months. But then it came back and has lasted even longer (probably due to it coinciding with a bad episode of my ME/CFS). The thing is I don't seem to be getting the additional physical symptoms others mention - only the worst and longest episode of depression and anxiety I've ever had.

 

I worry that this is the first time I've had to cope with my mum's death without the blanket of drugs and I've just developed a new, much worse type of depression. Combined with the ME it might just all be too much.

 

My history:

 

Developed severe ME/CFS in 2005 which still persists, though was improved before my recents bouts of depression made it worse. Didn't need antidepressants even though I lost my job and become housebound.

 

Took Citalopram 20mg when mum was diagnosed with terminal illness in March 2008.

 

Stopped the drug in March 2014, after a slow taper of 5/6 months I think. Should never have stayed on it that long and at that dose.

 

Two weeks later - I got a month of severe depression.

 

Two months of feeling fine.

 

June/July - return of severe depression/anxiety.

 

July 2014 - stupidly tried Moclobemide (an MAO) for the depression but it made me really sick at a very low dose so am stopping.

 

I know now I should have taken even longer to come off the CItalopram. Not 5/6 months but maybe 2 years. I would like to reinstate and come off even more slowly but feel it's too late now. Any thoughts welcome.

 

My situation is complicated by having ME, which means my nervous system is already in a state of over-arousal and anxiety. Since the severe depression/anxiety and ME make each other worse I am feeling hopeless now about my ability to recover from either.

 

By the time I get the Moclobemide out of my system it will be around 5 months since I stopped the Citalopram. Has anyone reinstated after that time and had any success?

 

Gratitude to anyone who can respond.


Sufferer of moderate ME/CFS since 2005

Started 20mg Citalopram in March 2008 due to bereavement

Was fine since then with no adverse effects or depression - so decided to taper off

Came off it in March 2014 after a five-month taper, which I thought was a long time

Experienced a month of uncharacteristic depression in April 2014

Two months feeling fine

In June 2014 return of depression then an overnight physical crash leaving me debilitated in July

Tried to take moclobemide at low dose for 2 weeks in July but severe reaction

Housebound since then, ME now severe

No meds taken

Female, 38 years old

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Petunia

Hi Picchy,

I merged your question from symptoms with your own thread because its related to your own situation rather than symptoms.  You will get a better response here.

 

Petu.


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Altostrata

picchy's question answered above in this topic.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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picchy

Please help - have been too sick to post until now.

 

After coming off 6 years of Citalopram I had a couple of bouts of uncharacteristic depression and anxiety, which I thought was bad enough. Then during the second wave of depression I had an overnight crash and became utterly sick and debilitated with the most excruciating and severe depression I could ever imagine. Nearly three months later I am still housebound and had to have my blinds shut for a month because I couldn't even stand daylight.

 

Although I've had ME/CFS for 9 years it was moderate and I could still function. I have never ever been this ill and debilitated, and I wonder how I can ever recover from withdrawal since I'm reacting to everything - light, chemicals, stress, viruses.

 

Has anyone been this ill? I feel like giving up because I can't see how I can recover. And if I do improve and the unbearable depression comes back in a wave I don't think I can survive.

 

Please help anyone,

Picchy


Sufferer of moderate ME/CFS since 2005

Started 20mg Citalopram in March 2008 due to bereavement

Was fine since then with no adverse effects or depression - so decided to taper off

Came off it in March 2014 after a five-month taper, which I thought was a long time

Experienced a month of uncharacteristic depression in April 2014

Two months feeling fine

In June 2014 return of depression then an overnight physical crash leaving me debilitated in July

Tried to take moclobemide at low dose for 2 weeks in July but severe reaction

Housebound since then, ME now severe

No meds taken

Female, 38 years old

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Lexy

Hi welcome to the forum.

Unfortunately I cannot advise, I'm sure someone will come in to help you. Please hang on.


Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds

Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg.

Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg

May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg

Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45

Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg

Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg

Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89

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Meimeiquest

Yes, people have been bed bound and recovered. People will be more able to help you if you can provide more information about how you came off the medicine, over what length of time and at what does you stopped it. Do you take any other drugs? Welcome to the forum!


1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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Meimeiquest

*dose (love spellcheck)


1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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areyouthere

The most important information we need right now to help you is the following:

 

** When was the last dose and how many milligrams of citalopram were you taking.

 

Depending on how long ago your last dose was you may have a good chance of reinstating at a lower dose, stabilizing to feel much, much better and then to taper very slowly off of that.

 

Here are some things to read until someone with much more expertise than I stops by. Hang in there. There is hope.:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3079-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-stop-withdrawal-symptoms/


Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone

1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox.

b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b]

2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax

November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b

Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax

My mantra " go slow & with the flow "

3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day)

4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day.

10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro.

1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms.

1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. :) 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut.

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picchy

Thanks everyone. Unfortunately it's far too late to reinstate as I came off in March after a five month taper (was on 20mg for six years).

 

Then when the crash happened overnight and I became utterly debilitated and unable to eat with extreme depression I stupidly tried to take a different one at a low dose for 2 weeks (moclobemide). This made things so so much worse and then I began to get horrible brain zaps and frightening unreality, total intolerance to daylight.

 

I can't believe I can be this sick and have now very severe ME and recover.


Sufferer of moderate ME/CFS since 2005

Started 20mg Citalopram in March 2008 due to bereavement

Was fine since then with no adverse effects or depression - so decided to taper off

Came off it in March 2014 after a five-month taper, which I thought was a long time

Experienced a month of uncharacteristic depression in April 2014

Two months feeling fine

In June 2014 return of depression then an overnight physical crash leaving me debilitated in July

Tried to take moclobemide at low dose for 2 weeks in July but severe reaction

Housebound since then, ME now severe

No meds taken

Female, 38 years old

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Wildflower0214

Hang in there! People do recover from this. You can. I feel like total crap and have been sensitive to all kinds of things and had sensations I can't even begin to list! Don't give up. It's the WD talking. Not your true emotions. Take one hour at a time. Please know you are not alone!


2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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Altostrata

picchy, I merged your two Intro topics. This keeps your journey in one place. Please bookmark this topic and add to it.

 

What are your current symptoms?

 

Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/
 


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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picchy

Thanks so much. This difficulty is I feel so alone - and I live alone with no family help.

 

I had two bouts of depression before this happened, but no physical symptoms. Then I had an overnight crash after sitting outside in the sun during the day. I woke up shaking, sweating and icy cold. The next day I felt utterly debilitated and my appetite just switched off. I had the most intense unbearable depression and terrible anxiety, and felt suicidal for two months solid - something I've never felt in my life. My physical condition worsened again just after sitting outside and getting too cold, then I was bedbound for a couple of weeks with flulike symptoms. Then I got extreme light sensitivity, unreality, head numbness and tingling.

 

For all of this time I've been unable to distract myself as I can't watch TV, I struggle to use a computer, can hardly read or listen to music. I can hardly go outside or stand up and I walk like a zombie. I just sit all day unable to think straight and not feeling remotely like myself at all. I'm terrified that getting too cold or too much sun will trigger the same crash again.

 

I already had ME for 9 years but was much recovered and even at its worst it was never remotely this bad. I am terrified that I slip back into the severe suicidal depression as I just don't have the support to go through this alone and don't feel safe.

 

It's been like this every day for three months, albeit with some of the symptoms coming and going and some easing off. I've no idea if I'm in a window or a wave and therefore what to expect.

 

Picchy


Sufferer of moderate ME/CFS since 2005

Started 20mg Citalopram in March 2008 due to bereavement

Was fine since then with no adverse effects or depression - so decided to taper off

Came off it in March 2014 after a five-month taper, which I thought was a long time

Experienced a month of uncharacteristic depression in April 2014

Two months feeling fine

In June 2014 return of depression then an overnight physical crash leaving me debilitated in July

Tried to take moclobemide at low dose for 2 weeks in July but severe reaction

Housebound since then, ME now severe

No meds taken

Female, 38 years old

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Wildflower0214

From what I know these are all pretty typical. Im so sorry your going through this and are unable to distract yourself. I went off an AD way too quickly and am in the middle of an awful wave. Petu or one of the others may be able to give you some practical advice, but know that I am praying for you. Hold on. This will not last forever. You are in my thoughts.


2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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Meimeiquest

I am so sorry for all your troubles.

 

I don't have ME, but I have been chronically fatigued since 1999 (except for the Adderall/Nuvigil years, something I wouldn't recommend). I wouldn't be surprised if there is a connection between ME and hard withdrawals, the symptoms can be very similar.

 

Anyway, I have been reading some of the work of Sarah Myhill, MD. I would guess you have heard of her, being from the UK? Anyway, she suggests listening to readings when one is sick and needs to rest. I have listened to something verbal when I am sick my whole life, it works much better than music for me and TV is it of the question. Anyway, she gives the phone number of a place in the UK where this is available. I would be glad to run it down if you think you could use it. I know your problems go far beyond that, and I wish there were easier answers.


1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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picchy

How is your current wave affecting  you JDM? Thanks for your kind message.


Sufferer of moderate ME/CFS since 2005

Started 20mg Citalopram in March 2008 due to bereavement

Was fine since then with no adverse effects or depression - so decided to taper off

Came off it in March 2014 after a five-month taper, which I thought was a long time

Experienced a month of uncharacteristic depression in April 2014

Two months feeling fine

In June 2014 return of depression then an overnight physical crash leaving me debilitated in July

Tried to take moclobemide at low dose for 2 weeks in July but severe reaction

Housebound since then, ME now severe

No meds taken

Female, 38 years old

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picchy

Thanks Meimequest. I've been listening to the radio (just talking / stories and not upsetting news) throughout the whole episode as haven't been able to do anything else. Am only just able to use a computer a little and go outside for maybe five minutes. The thought I could relapse back to the awful state I was in is terrifying.

 

I was doing the Gupta Amygdala Retraining Programme for my ME before this happened and it was helping, since it's designed to calm down the nervous system. I'm trying to pick it up again as I don't know what else could help.

 

It's frightening that even sitting in the sun or getting too cold outside could cause another crash. Or probably stress of any kind.


Sufferer of moderate ME/CFS since 2005

Started 20mg Citalopram in March 2008 due to bereavement

Was fine since then with no adverse effects or depression - so decided to taper off

Came off it in March 2014 after a five-month taper, which I thought was a long time

Experienced a month of uncharacteristic depression in April 2014

Two months feeling fine

In June 2014 return of depression then an overnight physical crash leaving me debilitated in July

Tried to take moclobemide at low dose for 2 weeks in July but severe reaction

Housebound since then, ME now severe

No meds taken

Female, 38 years old

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Wildflower0214

Well, it's all over the place, here's a list to let you know you are in good company. :)

Intrusive suicidal thoughts

Didn't sleep for three days straight! Not a wink

Irritability

Agitation

Feeling 'high' like on drugs... Almost like an upper and downer at the same time

Anxiety

Feelings of rage

Serious Depression

Weeping

Restlessness

Twitching in legs

Cold burning feeling in arms and legs

Headache

At moments, suicidal ideation, although it's better when I keep my mind off of it. It's worse in the mornings.

Inability to handle noises or bright lights

WELCOME to the wave.

I have also had bizzare reactions to too much sunshine, it made me agitated. Lol

It will pass! It may take forever but it will! Your nervous system is healing. I'm so sorry you are alone!!! This site has literally been a lifeline for me, in addition to God. How are you today?


2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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picchy

Sorry that's just so awful. Have you had these episodes before and come out of them, only for them to return? It sounds like how I felt for two months solid. I'm still really struggling with depression and physical incapacity - only being able to get of the house for maybe five minutes a couple of times a day. Also I don't feel myself at all, don't do anything, feel the fear kicking in when I have to spend a day alone.

 

Many of the symptoms have calmed down a lot such as not being able to open my blinds for a month, and this horrible state is heaven compared with before. Does it mean this is a 'window' and I have to go back down to where I was? I couldn't bear it.


Sufferer of moderate ME/CFS since 2005

Started 20mg Citalopram in March 2008 due to bereavement

Was fine since then with no adverse effects or depression - so decided to taper off

Came off it in March 2014 after a five-month taper, which I thought was a long time

Experienced a month of uncharacteristic depression in April 2014

Two months feeling fine

In June 2014 return of depression then an overnight physical crash leaving me debilitated in July

Tried to take moclobemide at low dose for 2 weeks in July but severe reaction

Housebound since then, ME now severe

No meds taken

Female, 38 years old

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Petunia

Many of the symptoms have calmed down a lot such as not being able to open my blinds for a month, and this horrible state is heaven compared with before. Does it mean this is a 'window' and I have to go back down to where I was? I couldn't bear it.

 

Hi picchy,

If you can open your blinds now, that's a good sign your nervous system is calming down.  Light sensitivity is a common symptom of withdrawal.  I had it badly, but its also reduced for me.

 

I don't think this is a window, just evidence that your 'baseline' is improving.  Its possible that when you get a wave, and most people do, its possible the sensitivity may come back temporarily.  I still have to be careful in the mornings and generally feel more comfortable with bright light later in the day.  Just pay attention to your own body and patterns and adjust what you do to keep yourself as comfortable as possible.

 

The Windows and Waves topic may help you to understand how recovery often happens.

 

If you are able to get outside for 2 five minute walks each day, that's great, just do as much as you can while remaining comfortable.  In early withdrawal, a little is better than a lot until you find out how much stimulation you can tolerate.  If something becomes unpleasant, then stop.  Many of us have made the mistake of doing too much when we have been in a window, thinking it will be ok, only to find that we crash the next day and symptoms increase again.  Its ok to just enjoy a time of feeling better without having to do anything different.

 

Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature.  Putting a short version of your drug history in your signature helps people understand your context, it appears below each of your posts.  Here are instructions for how to do it:

 

http://survivinganti...your-signature/

 

If you start to get anxious without company, and you can't call someone for a chat.  Come here to the site and post about how you are feeling if it helps, or read and post on other threads.  You are not alone in going through this, even though it can feel that way sometimes.

 

I'm glad you are feeling a little better.

 

Petu.


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Wildflower0214

Picchy,

I don't have enough experience to say if it is a window or not. Petu knows much more. I'm only 4 months into this. But, I would say that every wave for me has felt much different. I have improved in areas only to lose ground in others. It seems very confusing. It is helpful to read the threads on here. Other people's experiences help me a great deal. You can go to the beginning of mine and tell where I was a few months ago. Not a happy camper. :( but, I'm not there anymore, in a different place now. Better in some ways, two steps back in others.

 

How are u?


2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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picchy

Thanks JDM,

 

When you say you've had waves over the past 4 months, does that mean you've felt normal in between and then crashed? I haven't been able to find your thread.. Hope it improves for you soon and stays that way.

 

I can't see much progress and my ME has become so severe and the other symptoms never really lifted I can't imagine how long it will take me to even reach a window.

 

Piccy


Sufferer of moderate ME/CFS since 2005

Started 20mg Citalopram in March 2008 due to bereavement

Was fine since then with no adverse effects or depression - so decided to taper off

Came off it in March 2014 after a five-month taper, which I thought was a long time

Experienced a month of uncharacteristic depression in April 2014

Two months feeling fine

In June 2014 return of depression then an overnight physical crash leaving me debilitated in July

Tried to take moclobemide at low dose for 2 weeks in July but severe reaction

Housebound since then, ME now severe

No meds taken

Female, 38 years old

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picchy

Thanks so much for the message Petu.

 

I'm confused about what a window is... Do you feel normal in a window and then crash?

 

I feel so debilitated I can't imagine how long it will take me to feel normal, and the thought that I'll then crash again is just overwhelming.

 

Thanks,

Piccy


Sufferer of moderate ME/CFS since 2005

Started 20mg Citalopram in March 2008 due to bereavement

Was fine since then with no adverse effects or depression - so decided to taper off

Came off it in March 2014 after a five-month taper, which I thought was a long time

Experienced a month of uncharacteristic depression in April 2014

Two months feeling fine

In June 2014 return of depression then an overnight physical crash leaving me debilitated in July

Tried to take moclobemide at low dose for 2 weeks in July but severe reaction

Housebound since then, ME now severe

No meds taken

Female, 38 years old

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picchy

Also I wondered if people on the forum ever call each other on the phone? I feel it would help me enormously, and mostly I can't use a computer. I'm based in the UK and was hoping maybe UK-based people could call each other for support?


Sufferer of moderate ME/CFS since 2005

Started 20mg Citalopram in March 2008 due to bereavement

Was fine since then with no adverse effects or depression - so decided to taper off

Came off it in March 2014 after a five-month taper, which I thought was a long time

Experienced a month of uncharacteristic depression in April 2014

Two months feeling fine

In June 2014 return of depression then an overnight physical crash leaving me debilitated in July

Tried to take moclobemide at low dose for 2 weeks in July but severe reaction

Housebound since then, ME now severe

No meds taken

Female, 38 years old

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Wildflower0214

No, actually I haven't felt normal at all, just not debilitated. I wish I were in the UK, I'm in the US or I would def call you. Speaking over the phone def helps. I will keep you in prayer though.


2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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Petunia

I'm confused about what a window is... Do you feel normal in a window and then crash?

 

 

Hi picchy,

A window is a period of time where you feel normal, or very close to normal.  Occasionally, people don't have windows, but recover gradually, but most recovery from these drugs happens in a windows and waves kind of pattern.

 

It can take a while to get your first window, and at first it may just be a matter of minutes, or an hour or two.  Some people alternate between windows and waves.  But I have found I have a kind of baseline of ongoing withdrawal symptoms.  I will get hit with a wave, when these symptoms get worse for several days, then go back to baseline.  I've had 3 or 4 real windows so far, each one lasted a few hours and was a complete surprise.

 

I know you are having problems using a computer but if you read through the Windows and Waves topic a little at a time, it will help you to understand.

 

I hope you start to feel better soon.

 

Petu.

 

It can be difficult to have a window and then have to go back to feeling bad again.  But once they start, you know that your brain is capable of achieving that state and will do again.


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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picchy

Thanks Petu,

 

I think I'm having trouble making sense of my situation because I also have ME/CFS which has severely worsened after the w/d crash. Therefore I'm not sure I can switch from feeling normal to having symptoms again like an otherwise healthy person can - or at least someone who didn't already have a compromised nervous system (which is what ME is).

 

Maybe I'll be like you and have a baseline of ongoing w/d symptoms - that's a helpful definition for me.

 

Having ME as well as w/d makes me very scared about being able to recover.

 

Thanks for helping Petu.


Sufferer of moderate ME/CFS since 2005

Started 20mg Citalopram in March 2008 due to bereavement

Was fine since then with no adverse effects or depression - so decided to taper off

Came off it in March 2014 after a five-month taper, which I thought was a long time

Experienced a month of uncharacteristic depression in April 2014

Two months feeling fine

In June 2014 return of depression then an overnight physical crash leaving me debilitated in July

Tried to take moclobemide at low dose for 2 weeks in July but severe reaction

Housebound since then, ME now severe

No meds taken

Female, 38 years old

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picchy

And thanks JDM - how are you doing?


Sufferer of moderate ME/CFS since 2005

Started 20mg Citalopram in March 2008 due to bereavement

Was fine since then with no adverse effects or depression - so decided to taper off

Came off it in March 2014 after a five-month taper, which I thought was a long time

Experienced a month of uncharacteristic depression in April 2014

Two months feeling fine

In June 2014 return of depression then an overnight physical crash leaving me debilitated in July

Tried to take moclobemide at low dose for 2 weeks in July but severe reaction

Housebound since then, ME now severe

No meds taken

Female, 38 years old

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Link to post
Wildflower0214

Well, I'm better than I was yesterday. Lol I'll keep u posted on sustained progress. I hope and pray you are well.

 

:)


2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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