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andy

andy: Hello tapering from Zyprexa

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andy

Hello I am Andy

 

18 months ago after the premature birth (26 weeks) and serious illness (NEC) of my daughter I had a classic nervous breakdown. I was exhausted and after 18 months of hospital visits I broke down completely both mentally and physically .The doctors put me on a high dose of citalopram which finished me off and i was admitted to a psych ward for 6 longs weeks. During the stay I was took off cit cold turkey and put on Seroquel. The stay was a blur and I felt spaced out and lost touch with reality, I became delusional and felt worse than when I was admitted. After I was admitted I was also given lorazepam to take when I wanted, the Seroquel was quickly dropped to a low dose and all hell broke loose ,once gain I was admitted for another 3 weeks where I was stopped again cold turkey and given Zoloft and Zyprexa. One of the problems I had was no understanding of medication , I would have taken sweets if they made me better ! in some ways I blame myself for being so naive.

 

 

I have somehow managed to get back to my day job and recently tapered (probably to quickly off Zoloft) after a month. I have tried to come off Zyprexa three times but the insomnia hits me like a brick 3 weeks after my last dose, I am now going to taper slowly at one reduction per month but I am now already down to 2.5mg .My mood feels better but I still struggle with insomnia and anxiety, sometimes its terrible first thing in the morning I am sure you all know the score.

 

Two courses of CBT have really helped me get a grasp of every day life and helped more than any med will ever do.

 

That’s me, btw my daughter made a miraculous recovery and is the reason I keep going every day :) Pleased to meet you all

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dalsaan

Hi Andy

 

Welcome to the forum. Glad to hear your daughter recovered and you are working through what to do re your antidepressants. That us some medication journey you have been on. Unfortunately not an entirely uncommon experience.

 

It's great that you have put your meds in your signature but could you go back and add some dates - when did you start, stop taper each one. For example when did you finish your Zoloft taper, when did you start your zyprexa taper, how have you got to 2.5. Having a very clear picture of your drug history helps us to make sense of your experience

 

Dalsaan

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andy

Hi Thanks Dalsaan,ive done my best but the last 2 years have been a bit blurry !

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Rhiannon

I would recommend you stop tapering now for a while and just hold on the low dose of Zyprexa for many months. Your brain has a lot of recovering to do from everything it has been through. Once you are feeling more stable and strong, you can finish that Zyprexa taper. I think if you keep going now you're going to continue to feel terrible and you'll still have a long recovery period once finally off the Zyprexa.

 

Your poor brain is scrambled from what it has been through and it is struggling to remodel and heal itself.

 

Given what I have seen other people go through, getting off faster now will not help you at all, you will still feel just as bad, and you will have even longer to recover at the end, and it will be a more painful recovery. If you take a break now you may be able to stabilize and heal and then you will be able to feel better and function better in your life from then on, even as you finish your taper.

 

Of course it's entirely up to you. This is just my opinion based on the hundreds of cases I've observed.

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andy

Thanks rhi after reading through the site today I intend to stabilise as long as it takes.The cold turkey stopping of previous drugs was ignorance on my part and never my choice

Thank you for your advice I don't intend to rush things

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dalsaan

Thanks Andy, we understand blurry here.

 

Keep a record of your symptoms (daily and in writing-easier to remember and see patterns), 

post these here if you need further support.

 

D

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andy

Ok so last night I had no trouble going to sleep in fact I fell asleep on the sofa by 10 o'clock, I woke at 4am and managed to control my anxiety but couldnt get back to sleep my brain was not going to switch off.Ive been here before and usually crack then go back on the tabs this time im going to try and stick it out.The weird thing is I dont feel that tired this morning ,since ive dropped a dose my mood has improved and I feel I have more energy.I also started taking magnesium last night so hopefully this will kick in soon

I read the news about Robin Williams yesterday ,it upsets me to hear anything related to suicide as I was down that path in the last 18 months,I guess it opens old wounds.

Today I am going to try and stay positive and get my head stuck into work,I might buy a sleep mask off ebay later on and see if it helps?

Take care all Andy

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coolranger

Hello Andy,

 

Glad to know your daughter is recovering and you are in the process of recovering. I am battling anti-depressant withdrawal after going cold-turky. My biggest problem is Insomnia. Do you still have Insomnia while in the process of tapering? Thank you!

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dalsaan

Hi Coolranger

 

Welcome to the forum, when you get a moment can you please introduce yourself by starting a new thread in the introductions forum and perhaps tell us something about your insomnia issues there.

 

Dalsaan

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andy

Hello Andy,

 

Glad to know your daughter is recovering and you are in the process of recovering. I am battling anti-depressant withdrawal after going cold-turky. My biggest problem is Insomnia. Do you still have Insomnia while in the process of tapering? Thank you!

hi yes but to be honestt ive had insomnia since ive been ill but the drugs made it a lot worse,i am confident time will heal me 

good luck

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coolranger

Thank you Andy for the reply. Sad to know you still have Insomnia.

 

Insomnia is the biggest challenge for me rightnow. I can cop-up with depression and anxiety. Today I am trying Tagara (Indian Valerian) for my Insomnia. Hope that helps :)

 

Good luck for you too.

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coolranger

Thank you Dalsaan. Sure will start a new thread in Introduction section.

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mlrp

Proceed conservatively and with caution re supplements when in w/d - ! There are many good threads and posts here on that topic. I avoid anything with Valerian - it gave me heart palpitations - and that was years before I got on ADs and subsequent w/d. Good luck!

 

And, welcome, Andy and Coolranger. This is the place for good information and excellent peer support. :-) 

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coolranger

Thank you mlrp. I hope Valerian is better than psychotropics. I will be cautious before taking it next time.

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Petunia

I read the news about Robin Williams yesterday ,it upsets me to hear anything related to suicide as I was down that path in the last 18 months,I guess it opens old wounds.

 

Me too,  the first thing I thought was 'I wonder if psychiatric drugs played a part in his decision to end his life'.

 

Ok so last night I had no trouble going to sleep in fact I fell asleep on the sofa by 10 o'clock, I woke at 4am and managed to control my anxiety but couldnt get back to sleep my brain was not going to switch off.Ive been here before and usually crack then go back on the tabs this time im going to try and stick it out.The weird thing is I dont feel that tired this morning ,since ive dropped a dose my mood has improved and I feel I have more energy.

 

This is good progress Andy, being able to get 6 hours of solid sleep is a promising sign.  Early morning waking and being unable to go back to sleep is very common in early withdrawal, it improves over time and resisting the urge to use drugs to get more sleep is important.  We can actually survive on a lot less sleep than we imagine.

 

Keep going the way you are, don't change anything and over time you will stabilize on that 2.5mg.  Here is the link to our symptoms and self care section, you may find some useful non-drug ideas to help manage symptoms as you recover.  This topic contains information about dealing with sleep issues:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/604-important-topics-about-symptoms-including-sleep-problems/

 

Please feel free to write whenever you want, you will find a lot of friendly help and support here.

 

Petu.

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coolranger

 

I read the news about Robin Williams yesterday ,it upsets me to hear anything related to suicide as I was down that path in the last 18 months,I guess it opens old wounds.

 

Me too,  the first thing I thought was 'I wonder if psychiatric drugs played a part in his decision to end his life'.

Feeling very sad about Robin. He is one of my favorates. The world has lost an amazing person. I am certain psychiatric drugs would have caused his sucide. Psychiatric drugs are the only category of drugs which make the same diesease worst which they are supposed to cure. Felling angry about the ignorance of the medical community. Can they get those good lost souls back??

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andy

thanks Petu,ya i slept till my alarm went off at 5.45 this morning  big result for me  :) but did have horrendous cortisol anxiety until i got up and got going :(

I never try and lie in now I always get up and get going its the only way I can combat morning anxiety

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dalsaan

Sleep in so important in this. I think you're right to get up and going.

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Rhiannon

Andy, you have a great attitude and I think you're going to do fine. It's just going to take some time. And there will be better days and worse days, don't let that worry you; over the long run you'll settle down eventually. Hang in there!

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andy

Thanks all

today I woke at 4.45 with bad anxiety it usually lifts but today it hasnt,its causing me to feel depressed.My inlaws are coming this weekend and I need to put on a positive face,Today I am questioning why I am putting myself through this,did the tablets actually help ? I dont know anymore its all a bloody blur.Zyprexa has made me fat and tired all the time but is that really so bad ? at least I could sleep on them and felt less anxious.

I wont give in just yet though and putting today down as a bad day !  :blink:  :wacko:  :unsure:  :angry:

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mlrp

Hi, Andy, 

 

I'd suggest take a look at the quote with which you conclude your signature for your answer. When I first got here, my klunky, haphazard taper from Wellbutrin (which was very conservative by my doctor's standards!) was likened to batting my brain around with a tennis racket. These meds are dangerous and the quacks haven't a clue (or don't want to know). Take a look around the boards, if you haven't already, on the topic of neuro-emotions - all the troubling feeling-states caused by the meds and withdrawal from them. Self-doubt about tapering is an oft-recurring neuro-emotion for me, and i know I'm not the only one.

 

And don't discount the bit of natural anxiety you might be feeling around the visit from your in-laws - in my experience I have noticed that small things that used to be a minor bother for me can now cause a full-blown wave of anxiety/depression, but again, it's the meds that have laid the groundwork for that to happen. Things do settle down with time, and windows of positive feelings do open.

 

Personally, I think you deserve much, much more out of life than to be fat and tired all the time. I know I do, even though that's what's happened to me, and I intend to fight the good fight. Only you can decide for yourself, of course, but it's early doors. Don't give up just yet. Brummies are made of tough stuff. Hang in there!

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andy

Thanks mirp ,I won't give in it's not in my nature I'm just feeling frustrated

Today has been a good day,rocky to start with but ended up good and that's all that counts isn't it

Love and prayers to everyone on this journey

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Karma

Hi Andy,

 

I agree with Rhi, you have a great attitude!  That will serve you well.  The waking anxiety will eventually settle.  I think you are finding that by moving through it you can get on with your day and move away from it.  I also agree with mlrp that natural anxiety can be heightened while withdrawing from these drugs.

 

I promise you that it does get better.  When I found this forum in 2011 I was having an awful time from decrementing too quickly.  As I stabilized I had incremental improvement in the anxiety (and for me irrational thoughts).  I don't remember that exact point when I realized that things were better, but at some point it did happen and from there I've had steady improvement.

 

Welcome to the forum.

 

Love and light to you,

 

Karma

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andy

Thank you for the warm welcome karma,another good nights sleep last night I think the magnesium is helping

Mild anxiety and depression but I can push through it for the day,I have to remain patient and hold on this dose

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andy

So a week has passed since I dropped from 5mg to 2.5mg ,I am still waking very early with a big cortisol spike but at least I am getting 5-6 hours sleep which is better than I used to.The weekend was mostly good with relatives visiting,I even managed a lie in Sunday morning,.

I still continue to get very stressed about work but needs must.I have considered the last few days if I need further CBT or therapy but decided to give it a miss for a while,Its hard to fit in around work and becomes another stress factor.

Heres to a positive week everyone  :)

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mammaP

Glad you had a good weekend Andy, hope the week goes well for you.  :)

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andy

sending you positive vibes mammap

I had another good nights sleep last night woke about 5.15 but felt good and not much anxiety this morning.The puffiness in my face and my complexion is getting better ,in fact im looking healthier all round. Zyprexa is a very strong drug with many phyisical side effects ,dropping a dose really has made a difference

I still do keep having doubts about the reasoning im coming off the drugs and how difficult this can be but will soldier on.I ordered some Taurine yesterday to take at night before i go to bed ,another hours sleep would be amazing !

 

Have a nice day everybody  :)

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Petunia

So a week has passed since I dropped from 5mg to 2.5mg ,I am still waking very early with a big cortisol spike but at least I am getting 5-6 hours sleep which is better than I used to.

 

How were you feeling before you dropped from 5mg to 2.5mg?  This is a 50% cut and I'm wondering if you might consider an updose seeing as it was only a week ago.

 

I also take taurine and find it helpful, it slows down my racing, anxious thoughts.

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andy

 

So a week has passed since I dropped from 5mg to 2.5mg ,I am still waking very early with a big cortisol spike but at least I am getting 5-6 hours sleep which is better than I used to.

 

How were you feeling before you dropped from 5mg to 2.5mg?  This is a 50% cut and I'm wondering if you might consider an updose seeing as it was only a week ago.

 

I also take taurine and find it helpful, it slows down my racing, anxious thoughts.

 

 

HI P

 

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andy

 

 

So a week has passed since I dropped from 5mg to 2.5mg ,I am still waking very early with a big cortisol spike but at least I am getting 5-6 hours sleep which is better than I used to.

 

How were you feeling before you dropped from 5mg to 2.5mg?  This is a 50% cut and I'm wondering if you might consider an updose seeing as it was only a week ago.

 

I also take taurine and find it helpful, it slows down my racing, anxious thoughts.

 

 

HI P

 

 

Hi Petu

I felt very lethargic and tired on 5mg although it did give me a good nights sleep,my anxiety was about the same as now but my mood was much worse.What I have found with zyprexa is you can take a crumb and feel ok but about 3 weeks after you stop it hits you hard with neuro emotions and insomnia.I think im going to stay at 2.5mg for a month and then see how I feel.I tried taurine last night and it made me very restless and i got a very bad nights sleep waking very 2 hours.

To be honest with you Petu when I read some of the other threads on here I think I have got off lightly and feel thankful for this in some way.One thing I wouldnt let the doctors do was put me on high doses of the drugs even though they kept pushing to do so

todays going to be a long day I need some sleep ! :)

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Petunia

Hi Andy,

It sounds like you are doing better on 2.5mg, so sticking with that is sensible.  I'm sorry taurine made you restless through the night, it just shows how different we all are.  I've tried so many different supplements which have helped others, only to get adverse effects myself.

 

I hope you got some sleep.

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andy

quite how I dont know but last night I had 8 hours blissful sleep,  the first time in over 2 years  :)  I even woke then dozed off for another hour into a restful dream,usually I wake with a jolt and go into horrible anxiety.I hope this lasts because if it does I feel I am on the road to recovery

have a nice day everyone  :D

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andy

Its been two weeks since i dropped to 2.5mg ,my sleep the last 3 days has been very broken and ive been waking very early.The anxiety isnt extreme but always in the background,I can live with it.

I am now not sure what is withdrawal and what is my normal anxiety,I see people post this same question on here over and over again.I keep recalling in my mind that I didnt have anxiety like this before I went on my very 1st dose of antidepressants .But the last 18 months has been a blur and I have forgotten what the normal me is,I now only know the anxious depressed me.

Even though ive had some good windows I have found the last few days quite hard,I just want to go back to being the normal boring person I was,that shouldnt be to much to ask ? To finish with a positive ,my mood is actually quite good if my sleep and anxiety were better I would be close to recovering

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Altostrata

Are you keeping a record of your daily symptom pattern? This can help reassure as you look back over windows.

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andy

Sort of ,I post on here and look back at what I've said.I had a bad day today but feel better now

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