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Cberg: Hello, I'm a newbie


Cberg

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Hello,

 

I'm from South Florida. Originally from upstate New York. Married to a wonderful man for 48 years. If I were to give my history , I would be writing all night. lol So, my present problem is that several years ago I was put on Paxil for nightmares and depression. For many reasons I wanted OFF and almost one year ago started a slow taper. I began at 20 mg, but I think I was on that for a short time and went down to 15 and stayed there for several years. So I started my taper at 15 mg (if I remember correctly) and after 10 months am now down to 4.25 mg. However, while I've had problems all along with severe nausea (especially in the morning after I get up, heacaches, and feeling a lack of ambition and motivation, I am now experiencing pulsating throbbing in the back of my head and depersonalization. The depersonalization is a continuous feeling of 'looking inward' and I positively hate it, It scares me and feels like it won't ever go away.

 

I also had severe panic disorder for over 15 years, had 21 shock treatments, numerous hospitalizations, but it was back in the 1970's before anyone even knew what panic disorder was. When I finally got the proper treatment and help, I was able to get my life back and returned to college for 16 years, and worked for many years also. The panic disorder is not really a major problem for me now, although I do get anxious with the taper -- like a free floating anxiety. Not a panic attack. If I'm put under enough stress I can still get a panic attack but have been through training in how to cope with them so I use what I've been taught, I get through the attack and go on with my life. (It was not like that for the 15 years that I was so ill however)

 

I could really use some support. Thank you in advance.

 

Cberg

began tapering Paxil 10 months ago.

Started at 15 mg. now down to 4.25 mg.

Had panic disorder and agoraphobia for 15 years back in the 70's

Edited by Altostrata
name change for privacy

Cberg

15 years of panic disorder back in the 1970's. Under pretty good control now.

Started Paxil two years ago for nightmares and depression after many eye and back surgeries

Started slow taper two years ago

Started at 15 mg. now down to 2.35 mg.

Symptoms during w/d included severe nausea in the morning, headaches, pulsating/throbbing in back of head

lightheadedness, depersonalization, lack of ambition or motivation to do anything

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi,

 

Welcome to the forum.  I'm glad to hear you have been going relatively slowly with your taper.  However, your body is perhaps saying its still too fast and your nervous system has been destabalised.   When did the new symptoms kick in?   What was the last dose you were on where you felt ok?

 

I'm thinking you probably need a long hold (no drops) to allow your system to find some stability again and you may even have to updose a bit to get that.  It depends a little on the answers to the above questions

 

Dalsaan

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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Hello Cberg,

 

Sorry to read about your panic attacks and other problems. For me a honest prayer to GOD really helps. I would suggest you to try the same. Hope you have not mistaken me.

 

Glad to know you are married to an amazing person. Our spouse can be the best blessing in the world. For me my wife is :)

Edited by Altostrata
name change for privacy

April2014 - Jul : Paxidep 25mg (Paroxetine) & Rivotril .5mg  (Clonazepam)
30Jun - 18Jul   : Inderal 10mg Propranolol
30Jul - 8Aug    : Nexito Plus (Clonazepam (0.5 mg),Escitalopram (5 mg))  & Bupron sr (Bupropion Hydrochloride (150 mg))
9th-Aug         : Cold Turkey from all medication

Now Insomnia, extreme mood swings from severe anxiety to depression

 

--

Psychotropic drugs no magic bullet! It does more harm than good. Work on the root cause of mental-illness for freedom and happiness.

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Hi Cberg

Welcome and hope you find help among the participants!

 

Have you looked into perimenopause as a co contributor to your symptoms?

I'M A WEANER!  :D 
atavan PRN ,Paxil approx 20 yrs ago for major depression
Switched to Klonopin PRN through to current
Paxil wore out
Changed to Effexor 
Depakote added
enormous weight gain - flat affect - led to depression - dropped depakote
Dropped Effexor, changed to Paxil 
PDoc added mixed salts amphetamines for ADHD - took for 2 yrs - was ok at first but had to cut as symptoms too intense -  then the crash was too much. STOPPED
Vyvanse started in 2013 (APRIL) - more smooth than IR amphetamine tabs---Have not used vyvanse daily in full amt since May 2013 

Paxil CT withdrawal 10/2012  :wacko:  Klonopin CT WD

Switched Klonopin to Xanax prn  - too strong

WD CT from XANAX after taking for a while - it was awful but can be done if you hold on!

Back to Klonopin PRN - working very hard to avoid taking it at all. 

Effexor 37.5 started 02/2013, 75mg by 03/2013, 150mg by 05/2012 (approx)  :blush:

Effexor 150mg 3/10/2014 Microtaper -3beads  :unsure:

3/11/2014-4beads ,3/12/14 - 5, 3/13/14 -6, 3/15/14 - 7, 3/18 - 8, 3/22 - 10, 3/24 - 12, 4/6 - 13, 4/7 - 14, 4/11 - 16 - on 4/19 ran out of brand took generic. Bad move. Back on brand on 4/20 and updosed 2 beads. 5/1 - 15, 5/6 - 16, 5/9 -17, 55/10 -17, 5/15 -18, 5/21 -19, 5/24 -20, 6/3 - 21, 6/6 -23, 6/13 -24,6/19- 25, 6/21 -26, 6/25 -27

6/28 -28, 6/29 -30, 7/3 -34, 7/8 -35, 7/17 -36, 7/30 -41,7/31 -42, 8/2 -43, 8/3 -44, 8/5 -45, 8/14 -48, 8/26-50, 9/24 -53, 10/24 -55, 12/1 -57, (lost the tally sheet, thus taper info for some of it), 4/19-63, 4/26-64, 4/30-65 Switched to wt reduction - now @ -.068, 7/14 -.070, August 2015 -.074, between Sept & October 10 -.077, Nov. -.078(feeling great), -.090 as of 1/10/16, down to  -.101 since January 2016 (it is now 6/24/16), -.105 as of 8/13/16
 
 

Ladies, please don't underestimate the possibility of perimenopause. The symptoms can be similar to, may intensify & in some cases mimic protracted w/d from ssri's & benzo's. 

 

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Thank you everyone.

 

As far as when did the symptoms kick in, I noticed the head throbbing about a week ago. The depersonalization has been on and off the whole time. But in the past month or so I feel like it's there a LOT. It's very disturbing. I have had periods before where I held at a certain dose for a while so I think that's a good idea and I will do it again. I'm just so anxious to get OFF this crap that I was trying not to extend it any more than I had to, but I think you are right Dalsaan.

 

Yes, coolranger, I pray constantly. Right now I'm praying more for Israel and the christians trapped on the mountain in Iraq, though. The latter has had me so upset. it is such a horrendous situation. I think it's even worse than what Hitler did. Very disturbing.

Cberg

15 years of panic disorder back in the 1970's. Under pretty good control now.

Started Paxil two years ago for nightmares and depression after many eye and back surgeries

Started slow taper two years ago

Started at 15 mg. now down to 2.35 mg.

Symptoms during w/d included severe nausea in the morning, headaches, pulsating/throbbing in back of head

lightheadedness, depersonalization, lack of ambition or motivation to do anything

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P.s. It just occurred to me I probably should not have said what I did about Israel and the people trapped on the mountain. I happened to be watching coverage on t.v. and it was disturbing me and it just came out my fingers. I will not make comments like that again. I'm very sorry. I know this is not the place for that.

Cberg

15 years of panic disorder back in the 1970's. Under pretty good control now.

Started Paxil two years ago for nightmares and depression after many eye and back surgeries

Started slow taper two years ago

Started at 15 mg. now down to 2.35 mg.

Symptoms during w/d included severe nausea in the morning, headaches, pulsating/throbbing in back of head

lightheadedness, depersonalization, lack of ambition or motivation to do anything

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Silver star, yes I've been taking bio-identical hormones for a number of years and I'm doing well in that department.

 

Cberg

 

Started taking Paxil several years ago for nightmares and depression

Currently tapering off Paxil for 10 months

started at 15 mg now down to 4.75 mg

History of panic disorder back in the 1970's - has been under good control for many years.

Symptoms during w/d has been nausea, especially in the morning, total lack of ambition to do anything, head pulsating/throbbing

and depersonalization.

Edited by Altostrata
name change for privacy

Cberg

15 years of panic disorder back in the 1970's. Under pretty good control now.

Started Paxil two years ago for nightmares and depression after many eye and back surgeries

Started slow taper two years ago

Started at 15 mg. now down to 2.35 mg.

Symptoms during w/d included severe nausea in the morning, headaches, pulsating/throbbing in back of head

lightheadedness, depersonalization, lack of ambition or motivation to do anything

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi, welcome to SA.  If you don't find things are getting better pretty soon it would be worth considering upping

the dose a little to help with the withdrawal symptoms. It does sound like you have gone too fast for your 

brain to keep up.  I know you've gone slowly but some people need to go mega slow in order to get off with

minimal discomfort.    

 

I moved your thread on depersonalisation to an existing one that is in the symptoms and self care forum. 

More people will see it there.   :)

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Oh, thank you! I was just going to re-do my post here because I could not find it.

 

Also, can you tell me how to avoid having to type my history over each time with my signature? There has to be a way. lol It's just too much to type all that each time..

 

 

 

Cbegens

Cberg

15 years of panic disorder back in the 1970's. Under pretty good control now.

Started Paxil two years ago for nightmares and depression after many eye and back surgeries

Started slow taper two years ago

Started at 15 mg. now down to 2.35 mg.

Symptoms during w/d included severe nausea in the morning, headaches, pulsating/throbbing in back of head

lightheadedness, depersonalization, lack of ambition or motivation to do anything

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm sorry I should have given you the link to the topic that tells you how to do that! 

 

Here it is.    http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Thank you. I figured out how to do it with your URL, but the one thing I can't figure out is after I type my post, how I make the signature appear on the posting? I don't see how to do that in the instructions. Thanks!

 

Cberg

Edited by Altostrata
name changed for privacy

Cberg

15 years of panic disorder back in the 1970's. Under pretty good control now.

Started Paxil two years ago for nightmares and depression after many eye and back surgeries

Started slow taper two years ago

Started at 15 mg. now down to 2.35 mg.

Symptoms during w/d included severe nausea in the morning, headaches, pulsating/throbbing in back of head

lightheadedness, depersonalization, lack of ambition or motivation to do anything

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Oh, does it appear by itself? Because i just typed the above post to send to you and I notice my signature is there but I didn't do anything so I guess it does. That's cool! Thanks again.

Cberg

15 years of panic disorder back in the 1970's. Under pretty good control now.

Started Paxil two years ago for nightmares and depression after many eye and back surgeries

Started slow taper two years ago

Started at 15 mg. now down to 2.35 mg.

Symptoms during w/d included severe nausea in the morning, headaches, pulsating/throbbing in back of head

lightheadedness, depersonalization, lack of ambition or motivation to do anything

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

P.s. It just occurred to me I probably should not have said what I did about Israel and the people trapped on the mountain. I happened to be watching coverage on t.v. and it was disturbing me and it just came out my fingers. I will not make comments like that again. I'm very sorry. I know this is not the place for that.

 

This is your thread, CBerg, and aside from obvious no-nos like obscenities, high pressure proselytizing, or lengthy off-topic rants, I hope you'll feel free to express yourself as you wish. If a current event is disturbing you, it's perfectly okay to make a brief mention of that as is writing of your religious beliefs as they relate to your well being in withdrawal.

 

I agree with what other staff have said above:  it might help to updose just a tiny bit to help with your symptoms. You might consider going halfway back to the dose where you were before this last cut. Paxil is a particularly nasty drug to taper.

 

Getting the drug out of your system as fast as possible is actually not the right way to do things. These drugs make physical changes to the brain and withdrawing the drugs too quickly leaves the brain without the chemical support it needs for these artificial structures. The idea of a long, slow taper is to very gradually take away that chemical support, giving the brain the time it needs to repair itself and regrow a normal structure. Withdrawal symptoms that don't clear up in a week or so generally mean that the taper is going too fast.

 

Here's our general topic on tapering:  Why Taper By 10% of My Dosage?   Ten per cent is the absolute max for a cut, with a month on hold in between, but many of our more successful members have found that tapering by 5% or even less allows them to function well and be comfortable.

 

Welcome to the forum. You'll find lots of good information and friendly support here.

Edited by Altostrata
name change for privacy

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi everyone,

 

I woke up today riddled with anxiety. I had to take medication it was so bad. This hasn't happened in a long, long time.

 

I guess I just want some comfort and to be told I'm not alone and will get through this.

 

Cberg

Cberg

15 years of panic disorder back in the 1970's. Under pretty good control now.

Started Paxil two years ago for nightmares and depression after many eye and back surgeries

Started slow taper two years ago

Started at 15 mg. now down to 2.35 mg.

Symptoms during w/d included severe nausea in the morning, headaches, pulsating/throbbing in back of head

lightheadedness, depersonalization, lack of ambition or motivation to do anything

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Hi,

 

Just saw your plea for TLC...yes we all need this during withdrawal-- period. You will find your way...I am sorry you got the morning anxiety...some people benefit by getting their am cortisol checked and if you are female? may benefit from bioidentical hormone treatment which has helped me with the am anxiety...I understand how difficult it is I really and truly do...as someone who has gone thru w/d and still in the healing process...If it helps you truly are not alone in your struggles with this...it takes time, patience, understanding, a lot of self love and care and it always helps when someone can offer some type of compassionate response....I hear you, I feel you...I understand...really I do...I know you may or may not feel that taking the medicine because you had to may feel like a setback in some way however we all must make our own choices in w/d for what feels best for us and at what time....I hope that the medication dose was slight and I hope that it helped alleviate a portion of your anxiety...sometimes listening to soft music or distraction assists in calming our nerves or just plain self talk...hope this helps and please know that there are many struggling with same issues.....

 

abilifyneedshelp88

med exp since 1985- abilify, latuda, Seroquel, risperadol, zyprexa, Haldol. latuda, saphris, mellaril, thorazine, lithium, tegretol, Depakote, lamictal, Prozac, pamelor, wellbutrin, Ativan, klonipin, etc.

 currently only on remeron: 3/13/14-6/5/14- 15mg

6/20/14 -9.5mg < 0.75-1.5 per week

7/12/14-3.75mg

8/11/14- 0.6mg of Remeron (almost off)

8/16/14--last dose of remeron...now completely drug free....

11/21/14-- 95 DAYS DRUG FREE!!!!

 

I do not give out medical advice only personal experience.

dx: BPI, II, CKD, secondary hyperparathyroidism, Chronic pain, fibro,

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Thank you so much Abiify. I have been taking Bioidentical hormones for many years.

Does everybody think they will NEVER feel good again when they are in a setback? I get filled with despair, hopelessness, and dreadful, awful thoughts. Do others experience this?

 

 

Thank you,

 

Cbergens

Cberg

15 years of panic disorder back in the 1970's. Under pretty good control now.

Started Paxil two years ago for nightmares and depression after many eye and back surgeries

Started slow taper two years ago

Started at 15 mg. now down to 2.35 mg.

Symptoms during w/d included severe nausea in the morning, headaches, pulsating/throbbing in back of head

lightheadedness, depersonalization, lack of ambition or motivation to do anything

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Chin up cberg I've been where you are many times and it does get easier that's a fact

Take care

2012 put on Citalopram and diazepam for 3 months for "depression" after filling in a 3 minute form at the doctors, had a massive reaction with panic attacks and extreme anxiety,never suffered panic attacks or anxiety before citalopram.Told to quit cold turkey which led to two hospital admissions during 2012/2013

December for 6 months Seroquel dosage adjusted up and down 50mg ,150mg ,100mg, caused severe tinnitus ,told to quit cold turkey

2013 January for 12 months Lorazapam given to me like sweets,told to quit cold turkey

2013 May Zoloft for 6 months ,told to quit cold turkey, reinstated 50mg tapered 2nd time over a month (to fast but I survived)messed up my sleep

Zyprexa April 2103 5mg until august 2014 ,dropped by doctor down to 2.5mg for one month went well but sleep was very poor for 3 weeks

End of 2015 I had to reinstate back up to 5mg due to constant insomnia that wouldnt go away Started a slow taper and found an understanding doctor who listened to me while I reduced
May 2016 drug free, sleeping and doing well in life again, it can be done http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12078-finally-off-zyprexa/

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 Hang in there CBerg - it will get better!! Been there, done that, do that. I hate those setbacks, it can be so disheartening. I had one of those days last week. I finally thought I was feeling a bit better & bam the anxiety comes out of nowhere & hits you again. This too will pass....

Hugs to you!!

 

Jan. 1994 Pamelor

2000 switched to Zoloft 

2011 Zoloft pooped out- Dr. switched me directly to Lexapro15mg -had a horrible 6mths

2013 upped Lexapro to 20 mgs-pooped out

June 2013 Dr. added 150 Wellbutrin to Lexapro.

July 2013 Switched back to Zoloft 100mgs.Was still taking Wellbutrin. Lots of anxiety from the Wellbutrin

July 2013 Started to wean Wellbutrin- off by Sept.

Oct. 2013 added 400 mgs of Neurotin to the Zoloft

Jan 2014 Tapered off of the Zoloft and onto Prozac 30 mgs. Also still taking 400 mgs Neurotin

Feb 2014 Reduced Prozac to 13 mgs. Still taking 400 mgs Neurotin

Aug. 2014 Prozac 13 mgs. Finished with Neurotin. .7 Risperadol

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi cberg,

I moved your topic requesting TLC from tapering to your own thread.  You can use this thread as your ongoing journal to track progress and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want.  I hope you are having a better day today.

 

Petu.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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