Cberg: Hello, I'm a newbie

[Cberg]

Hello,

 

I'm from South Florida. Originally from upstate New York. Married to a wonderful man for 48 years. If I were to give my history , I would be writing all night. lol So, my present problem is that several years ago I was put on Paxil for nightmares and depression. For many reasons I wanted OFF and almost one year ago started a slow taper. I began at 20 mg, but I think I was on that for a short time and went down to 15 and stayed there for several years. So I started my taper at 15 mg (if I remember correctly) and after 10 months am now down to 4.25 mg. However, while I've had problems all along with severe nausea (especially in the morning after I get up, heacaches, and feeling a lack of ambition and motivation, I am now experiencing pulsating throbbing in the back of my head and depersonalization. The depersonalization is a continuous feeling of 'looking inward' and I positively hate it, It scares me and feels like it won't ever go away.

 

I also had severe panic disorder for over 15 years, had 21 shock treatments, numerous hospitalizations, but it was back in the 1970's before anyone even knew what panic disorder was. When I finally got the proper treatment and help, I was able to get my life back and returned to college for 16 years, and worked for many years also. The panic disorder is not really a major problem for me now, although I do get anxious with the taper -- like a free floating anxiety. Not a panic attack. If I'm put under enough stress I can still get a panic attack but have been through training in how to cope with them so I use what I've been taught, I get through the attack and go on with my life. (It was not like that for the 15 years that I was so ill however)

 

I could really use some support. Thank you in advance.

 

Cberg

began tapering Paxil 10 months ago.

Started at 15 mg. now down to 4.25 mg.

Had panic disorder and agoraphobia for 15 years back in the 70's

Edited August 21, 2014 by Altostrata
name change for privacy

[dalsaan]

Hi,

 

Welcome to the forum.  I'm glad to hear you have been going relatively slowly with your taper.  However, your body is perhaps saying its still too fast and your nervous system has been destabalised.   When did the new symptoms kick in?   What was the last dose you were on where you felt ok?

 

I'm thinking you probably need a long hold (no drops) to allow your system to find some stability again and you may even have to updose a bit to get that.  It depends a little on the answers to the above questions

 

Dalsaan

[coolranger]

Hello Cberg,

 

Sorry to read about your panic attacks and other problems. For me a honest prayer to GOD really helps. I would suggest you to try the same. Hope you have not mistaken me.

 

Glad to know you are married to an amazing person. Our spouse can be the best blessing in the world. For me my wife is

Edited August 21, 2014 by Altostrata
name change for privacy

[NewMe]

Hi Cberg

Welcome and hope you find help among the participants!

 

Have you looked into perimenopause as a co contributor to your symptoms?

[Cberg]

Thank you everyone.

 

As far as when did the symptoms kick in, I noticed the head throbbing about a week ago. The depersonalization has been on and off the whole time. But in the past month or so I feel like it's there a LOT. It's very disturbing. I have had periods before where I held at a certain dose for a while so I think that's a good idea and I will do it again. I'm just so anxious to get OFF this crap that I was trying not to extend it any more than I had to, but I think you are right Dalsaan.

 

Yes, coolranger, I pray constantly. Right now I'm praying more for Israel and the christians trapped on the mountain in Iraq, though. The latter has had me so upset. it is such a horrendous situation. I think it's even worse than what Hitler did. Very disturbing.

[Cberg]

P.s. It just occurred to me I probably should not have said what I did about Israel and the people trapped on the mountain. I happened to be watching coverage on t.v. and it was disturbing me and it just came out my fingers. I will not make comments like that again. I'm very sorry. I know this is not the place for that.

[Cberg]

Silver star, yes I've been taking bio-identical hormones for a number of years and I'm doing well in that department.

 

Cberg

 

Started taking Paxil several years ago for nightmares and depression

Currently tapering off Paxil for 10 months

started at 15 mg now down to 4.75 mg

History of panic disorder back in the 1970's - has been under good control for many years.

Symptoms during w/d has been nausea, especially in the morning, total lack of ambition to do anything, head pulsating/throbbing

and depersonalization.

Edited August 21, 2014 by Altostrata
name change for privacy

[mammaP]

Hi, welcome to SA.  If you don't find things are getting better pretty soon it would be worth considering upping

the dose a little to help with the withdrawal symptoms. It does sound like you have gone too fast for your 

brain to keep up.  I know you've gone slowly but some people need to go mega slow in order to get off with

minimal discomfort.    

 

I moved your thread on depersonalisation to an existing one that is in the symptoms and self care forum. 

More people will see it there.  

[Cberg]

Oh, thank you! I was just going to re-do my post here because I could not find it.

 

Also, can you tell me how to avoid having to type my history over each time with my signature? There has to be a way. lol It's just too much to type all that each time..

 

 

 

Cbegens

[mammaP]

I'm sorry I should have given you the link to the topic that tells you how to do that! 

 

Here it is.    http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

[Cberg]

Thank you. I figured out how to do it with your URL, but the one thing I can't figure out is after I type my post, how I make the signature appear on the posting? I don't see how to do that in the instructions. Thanks!

 

Cberg

Edited August 21, 2014 by Altostrata
name changed for privacy

[Cberg]

Oh, does it appear by itself? Because i just typed the above post to send to you and I notice my signature is there but I didn't do anything so I guess it does. That's cool! Thanks again.

[Jemima]

P.s. It just occurred to me I probably should not have said what I did about Israel and the people trapped on the mountain. I happened to be watching coverage on t.v. and it was disturbing me and it just came out my fingers. I will not make comments like that again. I'm very sorry. I know this is not the place for that.

 

This is your thread, CBerg, and aside from obvious no-nos like obscenities, high pressure proselytizing, or lengthy off-topic rants, I hope you'll feel free to express yourself as you wish. If a current event is disturbing you, it's perfectly okay to make a brief mention of that as is writing of your religious beliefs as they relate to your well being in withdrawal.

 

I agree with what other staff have said above:  it might help to updose just a tiny bit to help with your symptoms. You might consider going halfway back to the dose where you were before this last cut. Paxil is a particularly nasty drug to taper.

 

Getting the drug out of your system as fast as possible is actually not the right way to do things. These drugs make physical changes to the brain and withdrawing the drugs too quickly leaves the brain without the chemical support it needs for these artificial structures. The idea of a long, slow taper is to very gradually take away that chemical support, giving the brain the time it needs to repair itself and regrow a normal structure. Withdrawal symptoms that don't clear up in a week or so generally mean that the taper is going too fast.

 

Here's our general topic on tapering:  Why Taper By 10% of My Dosage?   Ten per cent is the absolute max for a cut, with a month on hold in between, but many of our more successful members have found that tapering by 5% or even less allows them to function well and be comfortable.

 

Welcome to the forum. You'll find lots of good information and friendly support here.

Edited August 21, 2014 by Altostrata
name change for privacy

[Cberg]

Hi everyone,

 

I woke up today riddled with anxiety. I had to take medication it was so bad. This hasn't happened in a long, long time.

 

I guess I just want some comfort and to be told I'm not alone and will get through this.

 

Cberg

[Abilifyneedhelp88]

Hi,

 

Just saw your plea for TLC...yes we all need this during withdrawal-- period. You will find your way...I am sorry you got the morning anxiety...some people benefit by getting their am cortisol checked and if you are female? may benefit from bioidentical hormone treatment which has helped me with the am anxiety...I understand how difficult it is I really and truly do...as someone who has gone thru w/d and still in the healing process...If it helps you truly are not alone in your struggles with this...it takes time, patience, understanding, a lot of self love and care and it always helps when someone can offer some type of compassionate response....I hear you, I feel you...I understand...really I do...I know you may or may not feel that taking the medicine because you had to may feel like a setback in some way however we all must make our own choices in w/d for what feels best for us and at what time....I hope that the medication dose was slight and I hope that it helped alleviate a portion of your anxiety...sometimes listening to soft music or distraction assists in calming our nerves or just plain self talk...hope this helps and please know that there are many struggling with same issues.....

 

abilifyneedshelp88

[Cberg]

Thank you so much Abiify. I have been taking Bioidentical hormones for many years.

Does everybody think they will NEVER feel good again when they are in a setback? I get filled with despair, hopelessness, and dreadful, awful thoughts. Do others experience this?

 

 

Thank you,

 

Cbergens

[andy]

Chin up cberg I've been where you are many times and it does get easier that's a fact

Take care

[Zoe]

 Hang in there CBerg - it will get better!! Been there, done that, do that. I hate those setbacks, it can be so disheartening. I had one of those days last week. I finally thought I was feeling a bit better & bam the anxiety comes out of nowhere & hits you again. This too will pass....

Hugs to you!!

[Petunia]

Hi cberg,

I moved your topic requesting TLC from tapering to your own thread.  You can use this thread as your ongoing journal to track progress and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want.  I hope you are having a better day today.

 

Petu.