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Ssriwarrior

Can we talk about anger towards big pharma?

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Ssriwarrior

Hello all,

 

I'm new here..not feeling like sharing all the details quite yet but in a nutshell I was medicated against my will at age 9 with Prozac, weaned myself off (by rebelling against my mother and cheeking the pills) by age 11. Had a stressful move to college and started back on SSRIs at 18 because I believed the myth of the medical model that doctors and psychiatrists kept telling me. Had several failed attempts at tapers due to misinformation by the dr. At the age of 32, I had a spiritual awakening and realized the drugs were BS and actually making me more anxious. Started weaning from 10mg of lexapro 09/13 and am now down to 2.5mg at 09/14. I have had some intense muscle pain with last taper and it has largely fueled my anger (maybe rage!) towards the drug companies.

 

To me, it feels like mind control at it's very finest. For years I had doctors telling me my brain was broken and there was something wrong with ME. So for years I believed I was a freak and weird and broken and had no faith in my own personal power. What a way to keep the individual complacent and in fear. Now even with protracted withdrawal symptoms I feel SO much better. Sooooooooo much less anxiety because 10 mg of lexapro was way to stimulating for me. So I'm re-working my identity of being this anxious and depressed person when it was really the drugs all along. My rage comes when I think about all the years I have "lost". 14 years of my adult life could have been lived differently. I may have chosen a different partner, a different job, and I sure as hell would never have taken an SSRI during my pregnancy when all the drs assured me it was safe. Oh the regret and guilt. And I also feel so naive for believing the lies all this time.

 

I can think positively and see how all this pain and deception can help me to help educate others on the dangers of the drugs, especially children!

 

I am a very private person so none of my friends and family (apart from my husband and my best friend) know what I have been going through in this withdrawl process. I am not ready to share my story with the folks in my life for fear of stigma but I'm also looking for ways to express this anger.

Thanks for listening and getting it.

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Altostrata

Good to see you here, Ssriwarrior.

 

Not to confuse you too terribly, I'm going to move this topic back to Finding Meaning as I think you bring up a good topic for discussion: How can you turn this justified anger towards constructive action for you and the world in general?

 

Please also start a topic for yourself in the Introductions forum to track your progress off the drug and out of withdrawal syndrome.

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btdt

Hello all,

 

I'm new here..not feeling like sharing all the details quite yet but in a nutshell I was medicated against my will at age 9 with Prozac, weaned myself off (by rebelling against my mother and cheeking the pills) by age 11. Had a stressful move to college and started back on SSRIs at 18 because I believed the myth of the medical model that doctors and psychiatrists kept telling me. Had several failed attempts at tapers due to misinformation by the dr. At the age of 32, I had a spiritual awakening and realized the drugs were BS and actually making me more anxious. Started weaning from 10mg of lexapro 09/13 and am now down to 2.5mg at 09/14. I have had some intense muscle pain with last taper and it has largely fueled my anger (maybe rage!) towards the drug companies.

 

To me, it feels like mind control at it's very finest. For years I had doctors telling me my brain was broken and there was something wrong with ME. So for years I believed I was a freak and weird and broken and had no faith in my own personal power. What a way to keep the individual complacent and in fear. Now even with protracted withdrawal symptoms I feel SO much better. Sooooooooo much less anxiety because 10 mg of lexapro was way to stimulating for me. So I'm re-working my identity of being this anxious and depressed person when it was really the drugs all along. My rage comes when I think about all the years I have "lost". 14 years of my adult life could have been lived differently. I may have chosen a different partner, a different job, and I sure as hell would never have taken an SSRI during my pregnancy when all the drs assured me it was safe. Oh the regret and guilt. And I also feel so naive for believing the lies all this time.

 

I can think positively and see how all this pain and deception can help me to help educate others on the dangers of the drugs, especially children!

 

I am a very private person so none of my friends and family (apart from my husband and my best friend) know what I have been going through in this withdrawl process. I am not ready to share my story with the folks in my life for fear of stigma but I'm also looking for ways to express this anger.

Thanks for listening and getting it.

"To me, it feels like mind control at it's very finest."

 

I completely agree did 18 years myself feel free to pm me. 

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mammaP

I am sorrry that you went through all that but glad that you are now free of the

drugs that controlled you for so long. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. 

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MatGMax

I wanted to look up the original dr who so proudly prescribed me ssri's and give her a piece of my mind.

 

Probably not a lot of use.

If I was generous I would say she was misguided and trying to help.

 

Cheers

 

Damien

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mockingbird

Hello all,

 

I'm new here..not feeling like sharing all the details quite yet but in a nutshell I was medicated against my will at age 9 with Prozac, weaned myself off (by rebelling against my mother and cheeking the pills) by age 11. Had a stressful move to college and started back on SSRIs at 18 because I believed the myth of the medical model that doctors and psychiatrists kept telling me. Had several failed attempts at tapers due to misinformation by the dr. At the age of 32, I had a spiritual awakening and realized the drugs were BS and actually making me more anxious. Started weaning from 10mg of lexapro 09/13 and am now down to 2.5mg at 09/14. I have had some intense muscle pain with last taper and it has largely fueled my anger (maybe rage!) towards the drug companies.

 

To me, it feels like mind control at it's very finest. For years I had doctors telling me my brain was broken and there was something wrong with ME. So for years I believed I was a freak and weird and broken and had no faith in my own personal power. What a way to keep the individual complacent and in fear. Now even with protracted withdrawal symptoms I feel SO much better. Sooooooooo much less anxiety because 10 mg of lexapro was way to stimulating for me. So I'm re-working my identity of being this anxious and depressed person when it was really the drugs all along. My rage comes when I think about all the years I have "lost". 14 years of my adult life could have been lived differently. I may have chosen a different partner, a different job, and I sure as hell would never have taken an SSRI during my pregnancy when all the drs assured me it was safe. Oh the regret and guilt. And I also feel so naive for believing the lies all this time.

 

I can think positively and see how all this pain and deception can help me to help educate others on the dangers of the drugs, especially children!

 

I am a very private person so none of my friends and family (apart from my husband and my best friend) know what I have been going through in this withdrawl process. I am not ready to share my story with the folks in my life for fear of stigma but I'm also looking for ways to express this anger.

Thanks for listening and getting it.

Hi Ssriwarrior,

 

Thanks so much for sharing your story because it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I was placed on Zoloft when I was 10 (and was sent to counselors and therapists before that), which made me always feel like there was something wrong with me. Then whenever I would have a hard time with something (like adjusting to high school or college) I would feel like it was just me and I would run back to the meds. 

 

Ironically, now that I'm off meds for the first time, I feel better about myself than when I was on them, now that I no longer am caught up in the lie that something is really wrong with me (though that belief is always there and tempting). Even though I am still suffering physically, I have come out of all of this a better person and am convinced it is something I had to go through. 

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Wildflower0214

HATE... One word response to pharma.

 

I saw a pharm rep in a dr office with my mom, and had the inclination to knock him out of his chair.

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WiggleIt

Can we talk about why all of us here are not going into lawsuits against the pharm companies?  It's too bad we've been on different meds, otherwise we'd be able to go into a class action suit.

Actually, for those who HAVE been on the same meds… why don't we?

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btdt

HATE... One word response to pharma.

 

I saw a pharm rep in a dr office with my mom, and had the inclination to knock him out of his chair.

Was that a neuro emotion  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

That just cracked me up... as i have been in some very similar places...there is nothing worse than being in the doctors office with yet another withdrawal symptom and sitting waiting forever... while the pharma guy butters up the boss to gives some other poor sucker these drugs. 

 

It is insult to injury then you get in there and get treated weird on top of it and there is nothing they can do to fix your dying liver.... oh ya I have been there with this one. 

 

I laughter comes from recognizing myself in your words and how on a couple of occasions I could not resist a confrontation of small sorts... I could not stop myself.  I recalled thinking later it must have been neuro emotion.. those are the ones that get us put in jail right?  Luckily I don't want to go to jail I can barely stand being out of jail... jail would do me in.  Maybe or maybe I would just adjust nobody could ever say anyone in withdrawal can't adjust as we do it a million times more than normal people... sorry I think I am rambling with no end in sight... 

peace

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btdt

Can we talk about why all of us here are not going into lawsuits against the pharm companies?  It's too bad we've been on different meds, otherwise we'd be able to go into a class action suit.

 

Actually, for those who HAVE been on the same meds… why don't we?

If you can find a lawyer who will take it that would be a great plan.  Nothing should stop you from trying it is your right to seek damages when you have been injured but the system is bent....

 

I live in Canada and I called every lawyer who does this sort of work here and no takers I even called some who specialize in this in the states no takers... it is impossible to go to court without a lawyer on such a thing. 

Other I am sure will tell you that you would have to have taken the drug before all the warning were put on them.. I of course did having taken them since they hit the store almost... that long. 

 

 

There are other reasons or excuses I have heard... they can't fight pharma as they have lawyers on payroll and can keep a lawyer in court for decades and $$$$ cost so much... a small firm could not afford to take a case against pharma.  

 

There is some talk about the process in a book called Death by Prescription by Terrance Young.

 

I think going thru the process of calling lawyers was actually good for me in ways I can't quite name.

peace 

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Wildflower0214

 

 

HATE... One word response to pharma.

 

I saw a pharm rep in a dr office with my mom, and had the inclination to knock him out of his chair.

Was that a neuro emotion :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

That just cracked me up... as i have been in some very similar places...there is nothing worse than being in the doctors office with yet another withdrawal symptom and sitting waiting forever... while the pharma guy butters up the boss to gives some other poor sucker these drugs.

 

It is insult to injury then you get in there and get treated weird on top of it and there is nothing they can do to fix your dying liver.... oh ya I have been there with this one.

 

I laughter comes from recognizing myself in your words and how on a couple of occasions I could not resist a confrontation of small sorts... I could not stop myself. I recalled thinking later it must have been neuro emotion.. those are the ones that get us put in jail right? Luckily I don't want to go to jail I can barely stand being out of jail... jail would do me in. Maybe or maybe I would just adjust nobody could ever say anyone in withdrawal can't adjust as we do it a million times more than normal people... sorry I think I am rambling with no end in sight...

peace[/quote

 

 

 

I'm glad it made you laugh! I had a thought to hit him upside the head with my purse. Like swing it really good with some momentum and knock him straight in the back of the head! And then take all of his pamphlets and rip them up into pieces and throw them all over the office and then take his briefcase and run it over with the car!!!! Oh I'm sorry, I'm on a tangent. I'll stop now.

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btdt

 

 

 

 

HATE... One word response to pharma.

 

I saw a pharm rep in a dr office with my mom, and had the inclination to knock him out of his chair.

Was that a neuro emotion :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

That just cracked me up... as i have been in some very similar places...there is nothing worse than being in the doctors office with yet another withdrawal symptom and sitting waiting forever... while the pharma guy butters up the boss to gives some other poor sucker these drugs.

 

It is insult to injury then you get in there and get treated weird on top of it and there is nothing they can do to fix your dying liver.... oh ya I have been there with this one.

 

I laughter comes from recognizing myself in your words and how on a couple of occasions I could not resist a confrontation of small sorts... I could not stop myself. I recalled thinking later it must have been neuro emotion.. those are the ones that get us put in jail right? Luckily I don't want to go to jail I can barely stand being out of jail... jail would do me in. Maybe or maybe I would just adjust nobody could ever say anyone in withdrawal can't adjust as we do it a million times more than normal people... sorry I think I am rambling with no end in sight...

peace[/quote

 

 

 

I'm glad it made you laugh! I had a thought to hit him upside the head with my purse. Like swing it really good with some momentum and knock him straight in the back of the head! And then take all of his pamphlets and rip them up into pieces and throw them all over the office and then take his briefcase and run it over with the car!!!! Oh I'm sorry, I'm on a tangent. I'll stop now

This is the sort of thing other people don't get ... and they wonder why I am on the computer all the time.. guess tangets are common too 

peace

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Wildflower0214

 

 

 

HATE... One word response to pharma.

 

I saw a pharm rep in a dr office with my mom, and had the inclination to knock him out of his chair.

Was that a neuro emotion :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

That just cracked me up... as i have been in some very similar places...there is nothing worse than being in the doctors office with yet another withdrawal symptom and sitting waiting forever... while the pharma guy butters up the boss to gives some other poor sucker these drugs.

 

It is insult to injury then you get in there and get treated weird on top of it and there is nothing they can do to fix your dying liver.... oh ya I have been there with this one.

 

I laughter comes from recognizing myself in your words and how on a couple of occasions I could not resist a confrontation of small sorts... I could not stop myself. I recalled thinking later it must have been neuro emotion.. those are the ones that get us put in jail right? Luckily I don't want to go to jail I can barely stand being out of jail... jail would do me in. Maybe or maybe I would just adjust nobody could ever say anyone in withdrawal can't adjust as we do it a million times more than normal people... sorry I think I am rambling with no end in sight...

peace[/quote

 

 

 

I'm glad it made you laugh! I had a thought to hit him upside the head with my purse. Like swing it really good with some momentum and knock him straight in the back of the head! And then take all of his pamphlets and rip them up into pieces and throw them all over the office and then take his briefcase and run it over with the car!!!! Oh I'm sorry, I'm on a tangent. I'll stop now

This is the sort of thing other people don't get ... and they wonder why I am on the computer all the time.. guess tangets are common too

peace

 

I'm on here all the time, but it's either tangents on here or screaming profanities in the the parking lot.

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btdt

"I'm on here all the time, but it's either tangents on here or screaming profanities in the the parking lot. "

 

That would make a good SA t-shirt :) odd the things we laugh at... before this we would think people who thought such things were mad now we see it as our gaining sanity.  So much of this process is unrelated to anything in the real word it is no wonder people feel so very alienated. 

peace 

thanks for the laugh :)

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indigo

I am also furious how these drugs are pushed on children. Also how they are blatantly advertised on T.V.

where,though "side-effects" are listed by law, thee is no mention of the nightmare of trying to get off them.

I'm also a very private person and only share my struggle withdrawing from prozac with my husband

and one close friend. Thank you for your post. I think of the people who are dealing with this without

any support, or worse. .  cavalier ignorant medical advice. For years when wanted to withdaw

from prozac, my doctor told me to just cut back to a capsule every other day for a week, then every third day and so on for a month.

Considering the severe consequences I suffered from this, I'm outraged this is still common advice.

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westcoast

WiggleIt: I also tried to find a lawyer and no one would consider it. We need some insider info as to why.

 

I have thought about trying it without a lawyer. I mean, I would tell the truth and offer ample evidence that I was not manic or crazy before all this. I have records at pharmacies of who prescribed what. So how can it not be winnable, either against the doctor or the drug companies? YES I KNOW THAT IS NAIVE. My real beef is with the FDA. They use our tax payments to protect us, and they don't protect us. Just checked the Effexor label. They don't warn of psychosis during withdrawal. They do say not to discontinue without your doctor's supervision, but psychosis is not listed as a possible outcome. That needs fixing.

 

As for drug reps, I saw one telling another one how easy it is to sell Seroquel in prisons, because the inmates love it. I tried to tape the conversation on my phone but accidentally switched it off. Dang.

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btdt

They very likely have it covered...

 

  • Effexor XR Side Effects in Detail - Drugs.com
    www.drugs.com › Conditions › Panic Disorder › Effexor XR
    •  
    •  
     

    Learn about the potential side effects of Effexor XR (venlafaxine). ... manic reaction,psychosis, suicidal ideation, abnormal/changed behavior, homicidal ideation  ...

     

    The last time I looked Effexor side effects was 36 pages long... and they add to and changed it many times over the years. 

    http://www.pfizer.ca/en/our_products/products/monograph/258

     

    Just now I am doubting myself as to where to find the information... hmm brain acting odd again maybe..sorry think that is it.

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westcoast

What I meant was that they don't list psychosis as a withdrawal side-effect. But I also didn't know they listed it as a medication side effect.

 

Hard to believe they can sell a drug that is known to cause psychosis in some users. And is difficult or impossible to quit. There's a nice little package!

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westcoast

Odd wording on drugs.com for side effects of Effexor:

 

Actions that are out of control

talking, feeling, and acting with excitement that you cannot control

 

Why can't they just say mania? Or symptoms of bipolar disorder? Just say this darned drug might make you a candidate for Lithium.

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btdt

I think if you don't live alone some of those things may be noticed by others who are watching you... 

"Actions that are out of control

talking, feeling, and acting with excitement that you cannot control"

 

If you live alone it can be missed.  

When my Effexor was increased from 150 to the next level the fourth wk I was on it.. I happened to have company the day I started the higher dose and from the outside I had worried people pushing me to call my doc who lowered the dose.  I missed it that time.  I did normally live alone and I think the 150 caught up with me later when nobody was around.  I could not see it from the inside. Funny thing about mania. 

 

They can't put those words on the paper as it would push the 

"taking this drug could uncover bipolar" theme off the dock

patients may not think a drug that caused mania was worth the risk of taking to treat whatever it is they are trying to treat which may be less of a problem than mania will become in their lives...

I did not know what mania was when I started on these drugs I had never heard the word.

 

Have you noticed how everybody knows these "pharma" words now..mania bipolar I have heard school kids talk about psych issue using words I am sure did not exist when I was their age.... they know concerta...add adhd odd... blah blah blah.. their friends this and that.. this kid has this and on and on it goes... it is ridiculous ...............

 

Where do these kids go from here... they are brainwashed by drug names and disorders from grade school it is becoming the new normal advertised on tv now like barrel of monkeys were when I was a kid it use to be k tel slinkys and snowball fights now it is ... shooting games  on the rv and psych drugs...what kind of world will that make I wonder.  Actually I guess it is one where half the folks stay home broke eating pills playing violent games on tv while the other half give the drugs and pay them disability. ...sorry went off the rail there... carried away again. 

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westcoast

Actually that was interesting and insightful. I have turned into a sedentary internet viewer since my ordeal. And yes, good old Slinky and Silly Sand and other physical toys were good. Realty-based.

 

I don't know what is in store for countries with high tech and low health. I just hope the unmedicted can help lead us away from where we are headed. I'm too sick to change the world right now.

 

P.S. I wonder how many of our doctors were pill-poppers themselves?

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Wildflower0214

I'm back to wanting to smack all pharm reps. It comes in cycles...the rage. Hate it. I hope it passes as I get better

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btdt

It does but it turns into something worse.. a slow burn in your gut that flashes in front of your eyes when you try to sleep at night and ever time you get another hit from anywhere you will think of the reserves you would have now to deal with it if it were not for pharma... not sure it is any better. 

peace

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Muddles

I'm back to wanting to smack all pharm reps. It comes in cycles...the rage. Hate it. I hope it passes as I get better

I don't think the 'pharma rage' will ever leave me!

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LoveandLight

Nor me. Furious.

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Wildflower0214

It has to pass. I'm not going to allow this to follow me throughout my life.

 

All of us have a right to be angry. But, I have found in other areas of my life that anger is insidious and eats us alive.

 

They have taken enough from me. I won't allow anger to eat at my spirit indefinitely. They are not worth it.

 

Right now I'm too sick to deal with tryng to forgive. But, I will. Eventually.

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LoveandLight

Yes, me too.

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LoveandLight

Lol just realised totally contradicted myself..I cannot forgive right now but if will not allow it to be with me forever.

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btdt

Actually that was interesting and insightful. I have turned into a sedentary internet viewer since my ordeal. And yes, good old Slinky and Silly Sand and other physical toys were good. Realty-based.

 

I don't know what is in store for countries with high tech and low health. I just hope the unmedicted can help lead us away from where we are headed. I'm too sick to change the world right now.

 

P.S. I wonder how many of our doctors were pill-poppers themselves?

 

I do wonder about the sane leading the way... it is was supposedly the sane that put us here. Was it not?  This is what got us here in the first place everybody who has not lived this thinks the "systems" are taking care of everything just fine except maybe their taxes ect.  They pay the high tax to have no responsibility in this to hand it off to those who specialize as it is too complicated for the common man... everything is so complex or so it seems... when you only look at the small bit that is known or pretended to be known... like the chemical imbalance still showing up on afternoon womans shows... from doctors mouths I seen it in the past month.  Not one thing has changed to cause the sane ordinary man to doubt psychiatry or pharma. Very few ever have it cross their minds very few. 

 

I too wonder about our doctors what drugs are they taking when they give us the happy pills we all gobble up... 

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RubyTuesday

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

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btdt

I know I watched that movie a few times yet I can't recall what it is about other than a hosp I think they break out I think. Not sure.

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Wildflower0214

You know, I know I have to learn how to move past this and forgive even pharma. Simply because, I believe anger is toxic, and I refuse to hurt myself carrying it around. I've been hurt enough. I don't need anymore, especially not self inflicted.

 

But, I don't know how I will ever forgive. I think that is when I will know I am truly healed, when I can move beyond the anger.

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Sujema

I am also furious how these drugs are pushed on children. Also how they are blatantly advertised on T.V.

where,though "side-effects" are listed by law, thee is no mention of the nightmare of trying to get off them.

I'm also a very private person and only share my struggle withdrawing from prozac with my husband

and one close friend. Thank you for your post. I think of the people who are dealing with this without

any support, or worse. . cavalier ignorant medical advice. For years when wanted to withdaw

from prozac, my doctor told me to just cut back to a capsule every other day for a week, then every third day and so on for a month.

Considering the severe consequences I suffered from this, I'm outraged this is still common advice.

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Sujema

Indigo , the ignorance is criminal neglect. How can they prescribe, and give dangerous advice such as infrequent dosage, when they have zero knowledge of the catastrophic effects??

If a Naturopath prescribed a product that caused patients to experience such catastrophic symptoms, they would be exposed in the Media, some current affair program, as a Chartatan, an irresponsible 'low life '. In Australia we see this all the time, how Natural therapists are 'Lynched by Media', courtesy of Gov and Pharma.

Society, throughout history, had this very misplaced 'respect' for physicians.

The problem is,...as individuals, in isolated protest, we are powerless to affect change.

ANGER as an outlet of 'pain' and frustration, can be therapeutic, but if it internalised, will just further poison our system.

Unless members in their individual countries, are prepared to 'come together' to compile their individual experiences and either expose it in the Media, or a class action, we may as well go forward with our healing with a calm acceptance of our situation, using our stories to help others, and contacting those Brilliant Researchers, and forward thinking Medicos out there who are fighting a the battle on our behalf.

I'm damned if I am going to let these Pharma/Physician Charlatans cause more damage to my brain by flooding my body with Anger causing cortisol, and other toxic neurochemicals. The Pen is a mighty sword.

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indigo

I can't think about much about Big Pharma while I'm recovering. Though I've done a lot of political activism in my time,

at the moment the most political thing I can do is get these drugs out of my system and support others doing the same.

I am deeply thankful to those who set up this website and staff it, and feel encouraged that people like Peter Goetze

and Will Hall are doing the political work to expose this "criminal neglect"

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westcoast

btdt, the punchline of One Flew Over the C's N is that Jack Nicholson ends up having a forced lobotomy.

 

I camE really close to consenting to ECT. Oddly, the doc wanted me to stop drinking first, and was worried I would have seizures if I quit beer cold turkey.

 

WHAT SO HE COULD WIRE ME UP AND INDUCE HIS "SPECIAL" SEIZURES?

 

No thanks. My ancestors survived beer drinking better than I survived psychiatry.

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