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Can we talk about anger towards big pharma?


Ssriwarrior

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"My rage comes when I think about all the years I have "lost"."

 

I feel exactly the same way. I feel like I was a guinea pig.

I entered the world of Psych drugs in 1994 ,after the birth of my first child, having been diagnosed with post-partum depression.

I have been prescribed Zoloft, Prozac, and Lexapro for depression over the years, but Prozac 20mg has been a steady.

I also have been prescribed almost all of the mood stabilizers but found the weight gain intolerable so I never took them for more than a few months at a time.

I was prescribed Xanax shortly after the anti-depressants in 94. I took Xanax for almost 10 years. I was then switched to Clonopin with a dose ranging from .5mg 3xs daily up to 1mg 3xs daily.

I currently take clonazepam 1 mg prn.

 

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strongereachday

I can get on my soapbox all day about these drugs, and I definitely have. luckily I have someone that listens. also im filing a lawsuit against remeron the drug I was on. I feel its my responsibililty to spread the word about the danger of these drugs. peace love and healing

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I can get on my soapbox all day about these drugs, and I definitely have. luckily I have someone that listens. also im filing a lawsuit against remeron the drug I was on. I feel its my responsibililty to spread the word about the danger of these drugs. peace love and healing

Congratulations on getting  a lawyer... I could not get one or would have filed too. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi guys , I finally found a good thread to share some news.

 

There is a movie called   BOUGHT: The Truth Behind Vaccines , Big Pharma and Your Food

 

It goes for 30 minutes and is screeing FREE via facebook for the next few days.

 

Please share this with anyone you think may be interested.

 

Fresh  :)

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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antidepressantsNoMore

I got into an argument with a doc a while back. It got really heated when she told me that anti-depressants work and they will help my anxiety. I told her they make my anxiety worse. I asked her if she ever prescribed anti-anxiety medication, and she said that the anti-depressant would help. I asked her how she would treat my symptoms of anxiety. She said she would start with an a/d.

 

I got pretty angry and told her that she was wrong in trying to shove a/d down her patients' throats and it was a way for her along with big pharma to make money. She asked me to leave her office. That's the last time I went to a doctor.

 

I take 5-HTP whenever I feel I need extra serotonin, it's been 15 months and I haven't been depressed.

trintellix 1 mg and rexulti .5mg

 

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  • 2 months later...
GardeniaBlossom

I'm also very angry, and I don't plan to forgive the pharmaceutical industry. Ever. I do intend to use the information I have when I recover. I don't know how I will use it yet, but I have to make the past 16 years of my life count for more than the almost unbearable suffering I've endured. I believe this anger is healthy. I need to feel it. I was deeply injured. I was told by doctors that whatever I did the one thing I should not do is stop taking the "medications." That was exactly what had disabled me for years. I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone. I had no support and no information when I came off the "medications" and was not well enough to do the research I needed to figure out how to taper safely. I had no idea that there was such a thing as discontinuation syndrome. 

 

Anger can lead to action. Anger can energize and inform and empower. This energy is important. It is necessary.  It's what can lead to change.

 

I have continued to see my doctors in part to show them what is possible. Since they have seen me improve both my psychiatrist and physician admitted they were wrong. My physician apologized to me. She told me not to stop taking the medication. I told her that being told not to stop the medication allowed me to take my power back, something I needed to do for 16 years. Then, she asked me to send her links to The Harm Reduction Guide to Coming Off Psychiatric Drugs, Anatomy of an Epidemic, and The Ashton Manual, because she wanted to read them. That is change that happened, because I was angry. I was also skillful and had resources to offer her. Anger is not all change requires, but I will not relinquish the energy that my anger contains.

After being on (over 25) psychiatric meds continuously during a 16 year period, I began in July 2014 to taper off 1mg Klonopin. In September 2014, I came off Brintellix, Trazadone, Zoloft, Proprityline & Hydroxyzine in 2 weeks on my own without knowledge on how to taper properly. I've been off all psych "meds" since 10/2014 and am currently experiencing protracted withdrawal.

 

Medication history: Vibryd, Wellbutrin, Lithium, Prozac, Xanax, Celexa, Cymbalta, Trileptal, Lamictal, Abilify, Zoloft, Trazadone, Citalopram, Effexor, Seroquel, Klonopin, Paxil, Brintellix, Protriptyline, Lexapro, Pristiq, Buspar, Clonidine, Lorazepam, Notriptyline, Hydroxyzine, Serzone.

 

Introduction: http://bit.ly/1SIxWwl.

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btdt, the punchline of One Flew Over the C's N is that Jack Nicholson ends up having a forced lobotomy.

 

I camE really close to consenting to ECT. Oddly, the doc wanted me to stop drinking first, and was worried I would have seizures if I quit beer cold turkey.

 

WHAT SO HE COULD WIRE ME UP AND INDUCE HIS "SPECIAL" SEIZURES?

 

No thanks. My ancestors survived beer drinking better than I survived psychiatry.

He did gee I am now glad I can't remember it... I forget things a lot even the gist of things.... 

 

You dodge that bullet thanks to beer :)  I wonder what my ancestors did I heard my father had a still... :)

 

There in lays the paradox... if it is good for their bottom line or not... they have all the data so they can say anything they like " propriety" interests of course... bottom line trumps all. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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  • 2 months later...

Ahem. Stoking up the fire in the anger room. WHY IS THERE NOT ample information on SSRI withdrawal on all the (overkill) baby sites (like the What to Expect site, for example)? Why does my health plan state that reducing by 25 mg every two weeks will get me off of Zoloft no problem, and why does my highly trained, excellent and lovely doc tend to think that's pretty normal as well?! Why did Andrew Noonan not touch on withdrawal symptoms and SAFE TAPERING PRACTICES in his recent, dramatic NYTimes Magazine cover article on depression, ssri's, and pregnancy? Why did he not disclose in that article that his father owns the company that sells Celexa? As a feminist, I'm disgusted. As a consumer, I'm furious, clawing the walls. I've had sexual dysfunction since I was 20. I now want to have a baby with my husband of seven years in the manner I'm comfortable with, which is my right, and means I do not want to be on these drugs while pregnant if I can help it. There is an absolute dearth of accessible information out there that is sanctioned by pharma, U.S. Government, or hospitals on realistically safe tapering. I having to delay childbearing for at least a year, most likely, beyond what I was hoping for. These are major, life affecting pressures, all because of the medicine. Which I take because my parents weren't very good at caring for me. Have some sense, nobility, and compassion Big Pharma! Grow some balls and educate yourselves, smart doctors! This is outrageous. Think of all the money and blogs and books spent on lavish, individualized weddings for the wealthy consumer of today. A huge number of young women take ssri's. There is a pathetic lack of resources and energy devoted to guiding them safely and successfully through the tapering process... What are weddings for anyway?! The time and psychological energy I'm having to lavish on research and implementation on this process is ridiculous. Thank heavens for this forum, is all I can say.

 

I'm done for now but imagine there's much more where this came from. Any suggestions on how to quell the anger are appreciated. The fact that doctors and greedy companies perpetuate all this makes it feel way personal for me, as my parents are doctors and investors. I just transfer my anger at my folks into this situation... It's exhausting. Thanks for listening. I know you all feel the same way, and some have much more difficult stories than I do. This is just my anger story.

Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly.

** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))**

50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil

6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea).

8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck.

 

Medicine History:

Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen.

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We can get revenge in a legitimate and effective way, but that will require financial resources, manpower, and technical expertise.

 

Complaining on this website will do nothing to change the system - we need action, and there are numerous tactics out there than can effectively attain this goal.

 

I have some ideas on an effective revenge strategy, maybe we could chat via PM.

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manymoretodays

Todays anger at psychiatrists and OB/GYN's/other folks who call themselves Dr.'s who rely on psychiatrists and the pharmaceutical industry.  Not so much at my own ignorance at the time.......that was 1992, when I had my child.  It wouldn't have made any difference I don't think........even if they had enrolled us into some kind of long term follow up for babies exposed to MAOI's in utero and while breast feeding.  It would have led to earlier drugging of him, no doubt.  He has not been drugged yet but........or something worse.......my psychiatrist at that time..... is now doing something called capsulectomies...........I shudder.  Darn fellow is old, getting real old, and still practicing and esteemed.  I saw him just in passing......oh, maybe a few years ago too.  He looked at me with vague recognition..........I shuddered.

 

I don't think it will be so much anger, but as someone said above.........anger channeled into something else..........when I get him(now adult child) to sign the required HIPPA's and get him now the help he needs.......so I don't lose him.........and work to get him the kind of help that I feel he needs, so I don't lose him to something else while he still lives........

 

There is action at this point.......just not enough........as said above........no funding for.........a few do fund it by their own work I believe.

 

In any case.......I will do my best personally to keep all those letters after my name intact...... with CEU's.............best I can do for now.  I can hold a poster somewhere, anywhere........let me know Osk.  :)

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Osk, I would be very interested in what you have in mind too. I am limited in what I can do. When I had more energy I did a lot of activist stuff. But I'm interested in your ideas.

2001-04 Polypharmacy to include Paxil,Celexa, Risperdal, Seroquel, Depakote, Ambien, Geodon, Valium, Ativan, Haldol

03/04-11/04 Abilify

11/04-05/07 CT Abilify Non symptomatic

6/07 took Valium, began to experience altered reality and physical symptoms of withdrawal from Valium.

07/08. Abilify 2 mg, 12/08 Abilify 1 mg, 03/09 Abilify 0 mg, 03/08-06/11Altered reality but fully functional

10/12 hospitalized, Invega Depot, 2 shots discontinued, severe insomnia

6/14-10/14 flexeril, discontinued, developed insomnia; 10/14 10 mg Doxepin I week, no help with insomnia; 10/14 Remeron for two days, paradoxical reaction

Present Risperdal 1mg, clonazepam 2 mg, Restoril 15 mg. Went from .5 to 1 to 1.5 to 2mg of clonazepam in 2014. Also in 2014, tapered from 2 mg risperdal to 1.5 (fairly slowly but still too fast) and had to up dose back to 2 mg. Got liquid risperdal and started from 2 mg again.

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I feel no need for revenge, just a weary desire for change. Not being an activist personality myself, I can't think of what to do. I have had some wonderful assistance from doctors, too, so I'm not against openminded, good doctors at all. Once I've calmed down (after a rant such as the above!) I really think my concern is the lack of information available. Making more information available to the general public is what I feel should happen. It's time for a major newspaper to discuss this topic, allowing plenty of space (in my opinion) on the implications this has for women. For younger women, who start the medicines around college age without getting adequate explanation about how to go off of them safely if they choose to do so when anticipating getting pregnant, and who may not understand the implications of sexual dysfunction that the SSRI's can cause for many. Older women, who are told they need SSRI's for menopause. Women deserve better than simply a pill, and we should be informed that these pills are tools- and how to use them as such, including how to effectively and safely quit using them if we desire. I wish there was a journalist who felt fired up to write about it for a large audience. 

Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly.

** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))**

50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil

6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea).

8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck.

 

Medicine History:

Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen.

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I feel no need for revenge, just a weary desire for change. Not being an activist personality myself, I can't think of what to do. I have had some wonderful assistance from doctors, too, so I'm not against openminded, good doctors at all. Once I've calmed down (after a rant such as the above!) I really think my concern is the lack of information available. Making more information available to the general public is what I feel should happen. It's time for a major newspaper to discuss this topic, allowing plenty of space (in my opinion) on the implications this has for women. For younger women, who start the medicines around college age without getting adequate explanation about how to go off of them safely if they choose to do so when anticipating getting pregnant, and who may not understand the implications of sexual dysfunction that the SSRI's can cause for many. Older women, who are told they need SSRI's for menopause. Women deserve better than simply a pill, and we should be informed that these pills are tools- and how to use them as such, including how to effectively and safely quit using them if we desire. I wish there was a journalist who felt fired up to write about it for a large audience. 

 

 

I differ from you in that I would like revenge on someone who's ruining the lives of millions of people.  These are evil human beings - anyone that can do this to an innocent human being is evil and needs to be stopped by any means necessary.

 

Anyone who defends psychiatrists is no better than someone who defends an unknowing Nazi concentration camp employee - in my opinion.  Sure there are like FIVE psyciatrists in this world who are doing the right thing, but the other 1,334,321 of them are destroying lives.  Any doctor that prescribes this stuff is complicit in the act of murder, and serious injury and deserves to be punished for his/her actions.

 

They need to be stopped.

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I agree with Osk, this is a big problem of the world.

 

I think that every psychiatrist that has even a tiny suspicion of the fact that these drugs bring more harm than good to a very big percentage of the patients who take them is complicit of the act of murder.

 

If I was a psychiatrist and suspected that I am harming my patients, at least I would investigate further and be very very careful with prescribing drugs and of course don't prescribe them as if they were candy (thing that most of them do).

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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Same pain from taking antidepressants; same anger about it; different life experiences; different option slightly on this topic- but I'm very glad to have found a community that includes you all. It's hard struggling with all of this on one's own. And I respect your opinion as I am sure you speak from your true experiences just as I speak from mine. I was VERY priveledged to have found an excellent psychiatrist, my current doctor, who was not the one who put me on the medication to begin with.- I do disagree with her sometimes, but all in all, she has helped me change my life via talk therapy, and she is currently supporting me as I direct my taper off of medicine, as she has in the past. I didn't enjoy being compared to a Nazi apologist though. I think we've all put up with enough; we might as well not get personal in that way. Godwin's law is excellent at turning constructive conversations into an Internet chuckle at the flip of a switch!

Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly.

** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))**

50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil

6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea).

8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck.

 

Medicine History:

Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen.

Link to post

 

I feel no need for revenge, just a weary desire for change. Not being an activist personality myself, I can't think of what to do. I have had some wonderful assistance from doctors, too, so I'm not against openminded, good doctors at all. Once I've calmed down (after a rant such as the above!) I really think my concern is the lack of information available. Making more information available to the general public is what I feel should happen. It's time for a major newspaper to discuss this topic, allowing plenty of space (in my opinion) on the implications this has for women. For younger women, who start the medicines around college age without getting adequate explanation about how to go off of them safely if they choose to do so when anticipating getting pregnant, and who may not understand the implications of sexual dysfunction that the SSRI's can cause for many. Older women, who are told they need SSRI's for menopause. Women deserve better than simply a pill, and we should be informed that these pills are tools- and how to use them as such, including how to effectively and safely quit using them if we desire. I wish there was a journalist who felt fired up to write about it for a large audience. 

 

 

I differ from you in that I would like revenge on someone who's ruining the lives of millions of people.  These are evil human beings - anyone that can do this to an innocent human being is evil and needs to be stopped by any means necessary.

 

Anyone who defends psychiatrists is no better than someone who defends an unknowing Nazi concentration camp employee - in my opinion.  Sure there are like FIVE psyciatrists in this world who are doing the right thing, but the other 1,334,321 of them are destroying lives.  Any doctor that prescribes this stuff is complicit in the act of murder, and serious injury and deserves to be punished for his/her actions.

 

They need to be stopped.

 

 

Same pain from taking antidepressants; same anger about it; different life experiences; different option slightly on this topic- but I'm very glad to have found a community that includes you all. It's hard struggling with all of this on one's own. And I respect your opinion as I am sure you speak from your true experiences just as I speak from mine. I was VERY priveledged to have found an excellent psychiatrist, my current doctor, who was not the one who put me on the medication to begin with.- I do disagree with her sometimes, but all in all, she has helped me change my life via talk therapy, and she is currently supporting me as I direct my taper off of medicine, as she has in the past. I didn't enjoy being compared to a Nazi apologist though. I think we've all put up with enough; we might as well not get personal in that way. Godwin's law is excellent at turning constructive conversations into an Internet chuckle at the flip of a switch!

 

Unfortunately, you are not the only one on this website who still has sympathy for the psychiatrists. 

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I had alot of really bad thoughts and feelings towards harming Pharma companies or people who know about the dangers . Very scary during acute WD somedays I wanted blood. Those thoughts were very counterproductive and scared me as I am not a violent person. I think the raw state my mind and body were in caused these feelings. Right now I don't ever want to think about Pharmaceutical companies.

Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant  30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently.  using zantac as needed.  Benzo is currently 0.10mg 

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  • Moderator
manymoretodays

Nor I.  They don't make me feel violent.  The thoughts.

 

But sure make me feel like the world is a bad place type thing.........a whole different fear.

 

This to Mort-  How are you feeling on the 5mg. of Lexapro?  I could maintain pretty well on just that for a long while.  I will try to find your intro.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

"My rage comes when I think about all the years I have "lost"."

 

I feel exactly the same way. I feel like I was a guinea pig.

 

That definitely hits home with me big time. I was the medication during my teenage years and all the way up to 26 years old. I feel like I've missed out on things in my life because the medication pretty much destroyed my will to do even basic things with friends and family. I've stayed home besides going shopping, going out to eat with friends or family, going to the movies, concerts, taking trips to the beach, to the bigger city I'm a few hours from, or really anything.

 

Now that I think of it, the medication did seem to almost control me because now that I don't take it, I feel like I want to do things way more now and I don't feel like I have a mental block keeping me from wanting to do it or enjoy it. Deep down I just feel like these people that make these medications don't care for the general well-being of people. If they did, why would they create something they KNOW is harmful to the body and brain? I would always hear the term from doctors that say "the benefit outweighs the risks", but I'm not so sure I agree with that statement. I personally feel like as a society, we're just getting way overmedicated.

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  • 3 weeks later...
antidepressantsNoMore

I wasted a good five years of my life. It sucks wasting time but you know what? You can learn from the wasted time. So the most important thing is that you leanred from these wasted years and if you did, then they truly aren't wasted because life is a learning experience.

trintellix 1 mg and rexulti .5mg

 

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Very true ADnomore it will be a lesson learned. I learned a lot about the medications we think are safe and the medical community as a hole. Ill never trust them again. I also know that life will be experienced at a higher level than ever before.

Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant  30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently.  using zantac as needed.  Benzo is currently 0.10mg 

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RisperidoneHell

Risperidone has given me anhedonia and massacred my libido. I will never ****ing forgive!

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Moderator
manymoretodays

HATE... One word response to pharma.

 

I saw a pharm rep in a dr office with my mom, and had the inclination to knock him out of his chair.

 

Did I ever elaborate on the one time I got "fired" as a patient by one Dr. who called himself a Psychiatrist?  I was at my wits end nearly and had called in and talked to the receptionist in the preceding days.  The previous appointment I did have to wait until the rep. came out........past the time of my scheduled appt.

 

And once again.......on arrival........there sits the rep. or else we walked in together.  And I asked him....."do you mind if I go in first.......my appointment is scheduled for now".  I didn't really wait for an answer.  The Dr. came on out, with his patient and went over his scripts.......Klonopin was one of them.  I completely overheard the casual manner in which he encouraged this patient to take it.

 

Anyway......I went in and sat down and threw MY papers on the floor and and basically just talked in this strong way I sometimes have......... :blink:

 

The payoff.  Wasn't much.  But this was an older gentleman, whose nurse in the hospital(I had been in the hospital.....a small rural one, very nice stay really), did pretty much all of this Dr.'s work for him.  To the point of suggesting meds., filling in with histories, etc. 

 

He pretty much reddened from head to toe, shook a little.......and in a wavering voice.......fired me.  Gave me an outdated referral form to boot.

 

Rambling.....I know.  Sleep escapes me.........and I do hate to say it, but that was fun in retrospect........ :)   I do try harder to behave in utterly frustrating circumstances now...... ^_^

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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  • 4 months later...

Hello all,

 

I'm new here..not feeling like sharing all the details quite yet but in a nutshell I was medicated against my will at age 9 with Prozac, weaned myself off (by rebelling against my mother and cheeking the pills) by age 11. Had a stressful move to college and started back on SSRIs at 18 because I believed the myth of the medical model that doctors and psychiatrists kept telling me. Had several failed attempts at tapers due to misinformation by the dr. At the age of 32, I had a spiritual awakening and realized the drugs were BS and actually making me more anxious. Started weaning from 10mg of lexapro 09/13 and am now down to 2.5mg at 09/14. I have had some intense muscle pain with last taper and it has largely fueled my anger (maybe rage!) towards the drug companies.

 

To me, it feels like mind control at it's very finest. For years I had doctors telling me my brain was broken and there was something wrong with ME. So for years I believed I was a freak and weird and broken and had no faith in my own personal power. What a way to keep the individual complacent and in fear. Now even with protracted withdrawal symptoms I feel SO much better. Sooooooooo much less anxiety because 10 mg of lexapro was way to stimulating for me. So I'm re-working my identity of being this anxious and depressed person when it was really the drugs all along. My rage comes when I think about all the years I have "lost". 14 years of my adult life could have been lived differently. I may have chosen a different partner, a different job, and I sure as hell would never have taken an SSRI during my pregnancy when all the drs assured me it was safe. Oh the regret and guilt. And I also feel so naive for believing the lies all this time.

 

I can think positively and see how all this pain and deception can help me to help educate others on the dangers of the drugs, especially children!

 

I am a very private person so none of my friends and family (apart from my husband and my best friend) know what I have been going through in this withdrawl process. I am not ready to share my story with the folks in my life for fear of stigma but I'm also looking for ways to express this anger.

Thanks for listening and getting it.

 

I'm so sorry. I was also drugged at 13, so I share some of your concerns. I could've written parts of what you wrote. My hatred and anger get frightening at times, but they give me courage and strength to keep living because I've struggled with suicidality so much. And far more frightening is the fact that, over the last several years, I feel it collapsing helplessly and ineffectually - onto myself. I know the suicidal urges are from the anger turned inward. I also know that a part of that has to do with drug damage - when I was put on the cocktails and extreme doses, I felt my energy (which was always really strong before) drain and bleed.

 

I deleted most of the rest of my post. I'm experiencing a lot of cognitive fog right now, and I don't know how much sense I'd make.

Age 13 - Prozac, 20 mg. On and off.

14 - Paxil. 2 months.

15 Effexor. 2 weeks. Toxic reaction, panic, never the same since. Back to prozac. Increased to 80 MGS! I weighed less than a 100 lbs!

18-20. Drug-free! So much of me came back, emotion, memories. But my brain was affected. Panic, no coping skills...

20-22. Hell. Cocktails + Paxil back up to 80 mgs. Hell.

Terrible, messy withdrawal in isolation, most of my 22nd year.

Now 31. Never the same since.

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I started a topic somewhere and totally forgot where it was. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Im healing slowly but im super pissed about the whole thing. I wish we had the man power to take down this whole industry. Too many people aren't lucky enough to find this website and don't have the knowledge not to know how to heal. Maybe when Im stronger ill get more involved to do something of I figure out what to do.

Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant  30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently.  using zantac as needed.  Benzo is currently 0.10mg 

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  • Moderator
manymoretodays

Well.  Here in the U.S. there is a new one out...........another drug to add to your current failed AD regimen.

 

It starts with an R..........maybe has an x in it.

 

My source.  Another television advertisement.  I was so hoping that Latuda would be the last of them developed.

 

Interesting, as the advertisement gives some credence and even a percentage of those whose AD hasn't worked for much more than the initial upper response.  Of course they don't say it like that.  Nor do I trust their accuracy as far as the percentage of failure rates with AD's, never mind subsequent problems developing, nevermind the hello that might result if you ditch the first AD medication altogether.  And of course no acknowledgement of the range of human emotions as a human attribute that should be honored and dealt with in an entirely different manner.

 

When is it going to end Big Pharma? ? ?  When are you and insurance companies going to resume health care?  When are our physicians going to stand up to this atrocity called practicing medicine in the now 22nd century?

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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  • 1 month later...

I can't stand doctors, pharmaceutical companies, pharmacies filled with so called "dupediments". I have been duped too many times, but no more.

I would relish the chance to tell my gp to f off and shove Zoloft into her mouth and the f pdoc who hooked me up on Mitrazapine.

Pharmaceutical companies are scum bags and soul feeders.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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Indigo , the ignorance is criminal neglect. How can they prescribe, and give dangerous advice such as infrequent dosage, when they have zero knowledge of the catastrophic effects??

If a Naturopath prescribed a product that caused patients to experience such catastrophic symptoms, they would be exposed in the Media, some current affair program, as a Chartatan, an irresponsible 'low life '. In Australia we see this all the time, how Natural therapists are 'Lynched by Media', courtesy of Gov and Pharma.

Society, throughout history, had this very misplaced 'respect' for physicians.

The problem is,...as individuals, in isolated protest, we are powerless to affect change.

ANGER as an outlet of 'pain' and frustration, can be therapeutic, but if it internalised, will just further poison our system.

Unless members in their individual countries, are prepared to 'come together' to compile their individual experiences and either expose it in the Media, or a class action, we may as well go forward with our healing with a calm acceptance of our situation, using our stories to help others, and contacting those Brilliant Researchers, and forward thinking Medicos out there who are fighting a the battle on our behalf.

I'm damned if I am going to let these Pharma/Physician Charlatans cause more damage to my brain by flooding my body with Anger causing cortisol, and other toxic neurochemicals. The Pen is a mighty sword.

An international withdrawal class action lawsuit... interesting there was for a time and international antidepressant withdrawal support site 

http://antidepressantwithdrawal.info/

 

I guess it would have to be an international court that would hear the case and where does one find an international lawyer as none in my country or none I have ever called would touch it. 

 

The only  antidepressant withdrawal litigation was in California it settled long ago ... most internet references to this case have been scrubbed from the net... you can guess who did it... 

 

interesting concept..

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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The brainwashing that has occurred on a mass scale across the globe about "chemical imbalances" and "needing to be on meds for the rest of your life"…? Totally ingrained. 

 

I thought I was alone in my need to get off these horrendous drugs. Thank goddess I'm not!

 

I have even taken my approach to paracetemol and ibuprofen to an extreme where I won't have either if I can withstand the pain.

 

Pharma and dox trying to keep us trapped in a chemical straight jacket will not succeed. We are the trailblazers.

 

I'm angry but I am harnessing my focus to being med free before I "take it to the streets".

 

The truth will always out.

Off Lithium (1000mg) since December 2016

Off Lamictal (50mg)since June 2016

Off Abilify (5/10mg) since 2015

 

It's diagnonsense! 

So, I threw it to the wind and kept walking...

And I will never go back.

 

 

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Hi everyone. Im just so angry! It seems like they will never stop giving me meds. Its like i have tried to change the system for years and only a little change has come. I have been kind, i have been accepting, i have been angry and now i am angry again because it seems like now matter what i do they just seems to keep fithing me back. I have seen and said some issues in my family that i get punished for every day for saying. My relation to my mother is now fine despite i still se some isues. Its a serious question. What do we do to change the mental heath system? Because im not in the mood for a big fight right now.

When I was 15 years old i had a kundalini rising. It was a wake up call from what I had been my whole life, a person who always did what others told me to do and never loved anyone. I was a very scared child because my mother was always very worried. In december 2010 i got locked in a psychiatric hospital. I was there for almost a half year, they felt they could do nothing to help me. Then I got locked in again i august 2011 and got the strongest antipsuchotic drug there is, Cisordinol, its not allowed in the US. I was a zombie for one year, my psychologist said I had got a prefrontal lobotomy, that I had PTSD and the the only thing worse was war torture. My parents did nothing else than bullying me with the things i couldn´t. For a couple of years, I did nothing. I mourned over my life who I had lost and time flew as it does to those who had lost their sence of time. In december 2014 I was close to death because of the drugs. From around march 2015 things started to turn the right way for me, my near death experience was a wake up call for me, I was filled with love and accept and I met my boyfriend. I was also at a psychiatric hospital again from january 2015 to september 2015. When I got out I thought that now was my life starting to go the right way for me. I stopped with the medication from one day to another and it was the worst mistake I ever made. I was in withdrawal and I started to forget and it just continued to be worse and it still does. Along with that I got locked in again from january 2016 to may 2016. I had no other choise than to take medication otherwise they would let me do nothing. The place where I live now forces me to take medication, otherwise I cant live there and I have nowhere else to live. I had left my first boyfriend despite i still loves him and believes that we one day can be together again but I felt that he didnt understood what I was going through. I have a new friend/ boyfriend who I feel understands my feelings and that it is okay to be sad and frustrated. Whenever my mom is visiting me I just wanna vomit and thats one of my main problems. Please write to me if you find me interesting or you have experienced something similar to me.

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Sorry for my bad english. Im danish. Please write if you do not understand what i am saying

When I was 15 years old i had a kundalini rising. It was a wake up call from what I had been my whole life, a person who always did what others told me to do and never loved anyone. I was a very scared child because my mother was always very worried. In december 2010 i got locked in a psychiatric hospital. I was there for almost a half year, they felt they could do nothing to help me. Then I got locked in again i august 2011 and got the strongest antipsuchotic drug there is, Cisordinol, its not allowed in the US. I was a zombie for one year, my psychologist said I had got a prefrontal lobotomy, that I had PTSD and the the only thing worse was war torture. My parents did nothing else than bullying me with the things i couldn´t. For a couple of years, I did nothing. I mourned over my life who I had lost and time flew as it does to those who had lost their sence of time. In december 2014 I was close to death because of the drugs. From around march 2015 things started to turn the right way for me, my near death experience was a wake up call for me, I was filled with love and accept and I met my boyfriend. I was also at a psychiatric hospital again from january 2015 to september 2015. When I got out I thought that now was my life starting to go the right way for me. I stopped with the medication from one day to another and it was the worst mistake I ever made. I was in withdrawal and I started to forget and it just continued to be worse and it still does. Along with that I got locked in again from january 2016 to may 2016. I had no other choise than to take medication otherwise they would let me do nothing. The place where I live now forces me to take medication, otherwise I cant live there and I have nowhere else to live. I had left my first boyfriend despite i still loves him and believes that we one day can be together again but I felt that he didnt understood what I was going through. I have a new friend/ boyfriend who I feel understands my feelings and that it is okay to be sad and frustrated. Whenever my mom is visiting me I just wanna vomit and thats one of my main problems. Please write to me if you find me interesting or you have experienced something similar to me.

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CallaLily

I hear you, friend! I'm fricken angry too!

 

What meds are you currently on? Can you update you signature so that we can better help you out?

 

HUGS!

 

Cayperz

Off Lithium (1000mg) since December 2016

Off Lamictal (50mg)since June 2016

Off Abilify (5/10mg) since 2015

 

It's diagnonsense! 

So, I threw it to the wind and kept walking...

And I will never go back.

 

 

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geminigirl

INFOWARS and NaturalNews.com talk about the truth about how the doctors are corrupt and sleeping with BIG PHARMA.

 

DO not trust BIG PHARMA OR DOCTORS OR FDA. The whole system is corrupt. You should see naturopaths or natural healing doctors.

 

Unfortunately, the whole system has gone haywire.

2010 started 10 mg celexa, 2011 went up to 20 mg

06/2014 started tapering (20 mg,10 mg alternate days)

19/09/2014 crashed at 10 mg

20/09/2014 updosed to 20 mg to try and stabilize- Never stabilized and CNS basically plummeted

August 31 2015- Started my 5% taper anyways

May 3 2016- At 14 mg the tapering caught up with me- Withdrawal included severe anxiety, feeling like im on speed, suicidal and homicidal ideation, akathesia, feeling like I was on heroin, memory loss, PGAD, feeling like I was on an acid

May 4 2016- Updosed to 15.5 mg to try and stabilize

​June 4- Started taking 2 mg 5 times a day which adds up to 10 mg because of akathesia when taking my full dose. Akathesia symtpoms smaller

July 27th- Dropped from 15.5 mg to 10 mg because could no longer tolerate taking drug- bad side effects mainly akathesia and emotional deadness.

​Oct 11- Improved a lot since May 4th after my crash. Withdrawal symptoms still left- DR/DP, emotional anasthesia, akathesia, tingling in head, feeling like my body and face disappears, messed up sound interpretation, perception and difficulty reading social and emotional cues during DR/DP, apathy, inability to tell if I am in dream or reality, disturbed sleep. Started having few windows

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I first took meds, got addicted and now it is not possible for me to stop. I used to live with taking a little medication and i lived with it. Now in january the redidence where i lived got me locked in again. Its a demand for the residence that i take medication for me to live there. Just before i asked them to thrm to help opn my foot but they where "oh so busy" so I said Its fun ny youre so busy with your workshop when your job i to help me. I was told by any her members of the stab that is should speak Nicely to the staff. Then They sauna

id "Its danner time" and first i fint answer but they

When I was 15 years old i had a kundalini rising. It was a wake up call from what I had been my whole life, a person who always did what others told me to do and never loved anyone. I was a very scared child because my mother was always very worried. In december 2010 i got locked in a psychiatric hospital. I was there for almost a half year, they felt they could do nothing to help me. Then I got locked in again i august 2011 and got the strongest antipsuchotic drug there is, Cisordinol, its not allowed in the US. I was a zombie for one year, my psychologist said I had got a prefrontal lobotomy, that I had PTSD and the the only thing worse was war torture. My parents did nothing else than bullying me with the things i couldn´t. For a couple of years, I did nothing. I mourned over my life who I had lost and time flew as it does to those who had lost their sence of time. In december 2014 I was close to death because of the drugs. From around march 2015 things started to turn the right way for me, my near death experience was a wake up call for me, I was filled with love and accept and I met my boyfriend. I was also at a psychiatric hospital again from january 2015 to september 2015. When I got out I thought that now was my life starting to go the right way for me. I stopped with the medication from one day to another and it was the worst mistake I ever made. I was in withdrawal and I started to forget and it just continued to be worse and it still does. Along with that I got locked in again from january 2016 to may 2016. I had no other choise than to take medication otherwise they would let me do nothing. The place where I live now forces me to take medication, otherwise I cant live there and I have nowhere else to live. I had left my first boyfriend despite i still loves him and believes that we one day can be together again but I felt that he didnt understood what I was going through. I have a new friend/ boyfriend who I feel understands my feelings and that it is okay to be sad and frustrated. Whenever my mom is visiting me I just wanna vomit and thats one of my main problems. Please write to me if you find me interesting or you have experienced something similar to me.

Link to post

The they said Its dinner time , and They just keep standing in the door opening and said th same things over nd over again because i didnt answer (i dont eat their food) and at least i got mad and said "i have told you a thousand times i dont wanna know that because i font eat your food so stop telling me". And then the same members of the staff that have told me to be Nice said "speak Nice, Sara, speak Nice or we will make strichter rulles for you." Its so unfair

When I was 15 years old i had a kundalini rising. It was a wake up call from what I had been my whole life, a person who always did what others told me to do and never loved anyone. I was a very scared child because my mother was always very worried. In december 2010 i got locked in a psychiatric hospital. I was there for almost a half year, they felt they could do nothing to help me. Then I got locked in again i august 2011 and got the strongest antipsuchotic drug there is, Cisordinol, its not allowed in the US. I was a zombie for one year, my psychologist said I had got a prefrontal lobotomy, that I had PTSD and the the only thing worse was war torture. My parents did nothing else than bullying me with the things i couldn´t. For a couple of years, I did nothing. I mourned over my life who I had lost and time flew as it does to those who had lost their sence of time. In december 2014 I was close to death because of the drugs. From around march 2015 things started to turn the right way for me, my near death experience was a wake up call for me, I was filled with love and accept and I met my boyfriend. I was also at a psychiatric hospital again from january 2015 to september 2015. When I got out I thought that now was my life starting to go the right way for me. I stopped with the medication from one day to another and it was the worst mistake I ever made. I was in withdrawal and I started to forget and it just continued to be worse and it still does. Along with that I got locked in again from january 2016 to may 2016. I had no other choise than to take medication otherwise they would let me do nothing. The place where I live now forces me to take medication, otherwise I cant live there and I have nowhere else to live. I had left my first boyfriend despite i still loves him and believes that we one day can be together again but I felt that he didnt understood what I was going through. I have a new friend/ boyfriend who I feel understands my feelings and that it is okay to be sad and frustrated. Whenever my mom is visiting me I just wanna vomit and thats one of my main problems. Please write to me if you find me interesting or you have experienced something similar to me.

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I was just over with my boyfriend (we are now exes we made a Deal about that yesterday ) and he just said "No, No ! No" so I had to go away again. Seriously i cant figure out what is going on in that mans head. Just yesterday he came to see me and said "you have been a great friend for me Sara" and gave me a hug and then we sat and talked for ten minutes and today i cant see him.

When I was 15 years old i had a kundalini rising. It was a wake up call from what I had been my whole life, a person who always did what others told me to do and never loved anyone. I was a very scared child because my mother was always very worried. In december 2010 i got locked in a psychiatric hospital. I was there for almost a half year, they felt they could do nothing to help me. Then I got locked in again i august 2011 and got the strongest antipsuchotic drug there is, Cisordinol, its not allowed in the US. I was a zombie for one year, my psychologist said I had got a prefrontal lobotomy, that I had PTSD and the the only thing worse was war torture. My parents did nothing else than bullying me with the things i couldn´t. For a couple of years, I did nothing. I mourned over my life who I had lost and time flew as it does to those who had lost their sence of time. In december 2014 I was close to death because of the drugs. From around march 2015 things started to turn the right way for me, my near death experience was a wake up call for me, I was filled with love and accept and I met my boyfriend. I was also at a psychiatric hospital again from january 2015 to september 2015. When I got out I thought that now was my life starting to go the right way for me. I stopped with the medication from one day to another and it was the worst mistake I ever made. I was in withdrawal and I started to forget and it just continued to be worse and it still does. Along with that I got locked in again from january 2016 to may 2016. I had no other choise than to take medication otherwise they would let me do nothing. The place where I live now forces me to take medication, otherwise I cant live there and I have nowhere else to live. I had left my first boyfriend despite i still loves him and believes that we one day can be together again but I felt that he didnt understood what I was going through. I have a new friend/ boyfriend who I feel understands my feelings and that it is okay to be sad and frustrated. Whenever my mom is visiting me I just wanna vomit and thats one of my main problems. Please write to me if you find me interesting or you have experienced something similar to me.

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