Aliwill - Prozac Taper

[Aliwill]

Had PND after the birth of my first child 14 years ago. Took Ad's for about 3 months but didn't like them. Put on a lot of weight. When pregnant with my second child I was scared of suffering again so went to Psych and asked what I could do to prevent PND. Told him about the weight gain and he said that he would try a 'new AD that wouldn't put on weight' After the birth of my baby I started 50mg Zoloft.

 

At the start it was great. Felt great, no PND and no weight gain. After about 12 months I started packing on the weight but didn't put it down to the AD as it had taken so long to happen. I just beat myself up instead, kept telling myself I needed to eat better. Followed this pattern for about 4 years but tried to come off it a few times. Would get to about 3 months off and would start to feel awful.

 

Even though I had never suffered with depression in my life other than the PND, my doc told me that it was obviously me and that my brain just needed the AD's to function normally. So I would go back on them. It was amazing after just 1 day I would feel better.

 

About 4 years ago I was told by a friend that AD' were associated with weight gain. Over the years I'd put on 25kg's and didn't believe that it could all be AD's (in my mind no medication could be that destructive, it must have been me, I was just weak, even though I'd never had a weight issue before the AD's) I came off 50mg Zoloft straight away with no symptoms. The weight just dropped off me, my appetite was back to normal and life was great.

 

At the 4 month mark my life changed forever. I fell in a heap. Was so anxious I asked to be admitted to hospital. I didn't sleep for weeks and had these strange waves of panic, even terror. For someone who had only had PND once this was a terrifying experience. My doctor tried to diagnose me with many illnesses and admitted that she had never seen someone so bad, but that I just didn't fit into any of her diagnostic tools for a confirmed diagnosis. I feel very lucky that she didn't label me just to get a diagnosis. At this stage she put me back on AD's 40mg Lovan (the Prozac equivalent in Australia) and with in 2 months I was back to normal. I asked her why the Lovan and she said it wouldn't put weight on and she knew how concerned I was about this. I also talked to her about it being AD withdrawal and she said that AD's don't effect people like that. She was however supportive of me dropping to the lowest dose possible after I had balanced out again.

 

Over the next 2 years I got my dose down to 10mg. I would drop by half but then leave it about 4 months before I dropped again. I had done this pretty painlessly so decided it was time to come off again. I had doc's full support and again did really well for about 3 months. Weight dropped off again and I thought that this time I may actually get there. 3 months later and I was a mess again.

 

Withdrawals are different to anything I can describe and I knew immediately when they started that I'd have to get back onto the AD's. I was devastated. Back to 40mg Lovan. Each time a have gone back on the antidepressants the weight has piled back on. A bit more each time. I feel like a shell of the person I once was, lost all confidence in myself and my life. Over the last 2 years I have again gotten the Lovan dose down again. This time to 5mg. I thought that with such a small dose it may be different this time. I came off about 2 months ago. The withdrawal symptoms are back but I have kept them at bay by taking 1x5mg dose each time I get the dreaded headache(it's the first sign for me that I am in withdrawal, it's not a normal headache but feels like my brain is in a vice that is tightening)

 

I have been going well like this but as I get further it's getting harder and I'm having to take doses more often to ward off the symptoms. If I take a dose it pretty much goes away overnight. The last few days I've had to take 2 in a row though so I know that my withdrawal isn't working this time either. I made the decision reinstate and drop further, I was looking for ways to further break down the tablets, so that I could do this and I came across your site. I am wondering if I should just reinstate back to 5mg and start the taper or if I can go to a smaller dose eg 2.5mg. Stabilise and then start the taper. I've been off for 2 months. (With the occasional dose during that time). I am also concerned that I am able to get off the drug seemingly easily however I seem to have a delayed response with withdrawal. Has anyone else encountered this.

 

FYI I also take 5 high grade fish oil tabs daily. 1 x 3 mg melatonin to sleep. Metformin for pre-diabeties. (Another side effect of the weight gain from this drug) and a progesterone cream. My intention is to wean off the progesterone after the AD's. Any suggestions.

Edited September 11, 2014 by Petu
added paragraphs for readability

[Petunia]

Welcome Aliwill, thank you for sharing your story, I'm sorry you have been having such a hard time coming off Lovan, it sounds like you have been experiencing a delayed withdrawal reaction from tapering too fast and stopping too soon.  What symptoms are you having now.

 

Many people arrive here after following the advice of well meaning, but ill informed doctors.

 

See:  What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms

 

We suggest reducing by no more than 10% of the current dose every 4 weeks, this reduces the risk of withdrawal symptoms arising.  Please read through this post which will explain why:

 

http://survivinganti...0-of-my-dosage/

 

Please do not taper using the skipping days method.

 

... the nervous system does best in a stable environment. Help your nervous system adapt to life without drugs by maintaining as much stability as you can. This is the way you can take care of yourself and help your nervous system to recover. We are our own worst enemies when it comes to stressing our nervous systems! Examples:
 
3.a. Do not suddenly quit taking your drugs. Do not skip doses to taper. These big, fast changes are the opposite of providing stability for your nervous system. Skipping doses causes the amount of the drug in your bloodstream to go up and down. Do not do this for any psychiatric drug.

 

Please see:  Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable

 

I agree that reinstating a small dose, taking it regularly to stabilize and then beginning a proper taper would be best.  Perhaps 1mg - 2mg may be enough.  Reinstatement is best done immediately upon appearance of withdrawal symptoms. The more time that passes, the less likely it is to work.  Here is some information about reinstatement to help you decide if its something you would like to try:

 

http://survivinganti...rawal-symptoms/

 

I'm sorry for overloading you with such a lot of information, but by learning how to safely taper, you are more likely to succeed at getting off lovan and staying off.  Here is one more link, its our tips for safely tapering off prozac/lovan (fluoxetine):

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/759-tips-for-tapering-off-prozac-fluoxetine/

 

Please stay in touch and let us know what you decide, you will find a lot of friendly help and support here.

 

Petu.

[Aliwill]

Gold Star. Thank you so much for your quick reply. I have spent the morning reading and re reading the information on this site and it makes so much sense. I had come to the conclusion that I would reinstate as well. My symptoms have only just started so I'm hoping that reintroducing will quickly solve the issue. My biggest question was 'how much'. I initially thought 2mg from what I have read here but am happy to see that maybe a smaller dose may do the trick. I think that I will start on 1.5. (Hopefully a happy medium). How long should I do this to see if it works? If after a week or so I'm not feeling better should I increase to 2mg? I have also been looking for information regarding when to make the final jump. I realise that rushing things will not help but really want to work out a LOSE end plan. I was feeling so good reducing the way I was and had had very little symptoms but realise that this close to the end I have to slow down. Will reinstate now. I will let you know how I go. I hope that you can answer these couple of questions for me.

Thanks and don't worry, I'm not in a disastrous state but after going through this before I clearly recognise the early symptoms.

Looking forward to your reply.

[Petunia]

Unless you have an immediate bad reaction, observe your symptom pattern for about a week to see if the reinstatement is helping. If you have an immediate bad reaction, reduce or stop taking the drug.  If after a week you notice no improvement or a very slight improvement, you may want to increase slightly, or you can wait and see if more improvement occurs over the next couple of weeks.

 

After reinstatement, the amount of time needed to alleviate withdrawal symptoms (stabilizing) varies according to the individual. Relief can be felt immediately, after some weeks, or after some months.

 

Be patient after you reinstate. Reinstatement may not immediately eliminate all withdrawal symptoms. You may still experience   waves of symptoms, which usually lessen as time goes on.

 

Reinstatement is a try, wait and decide kind of process, try a small amount, wait and watch what happens, decide what to do based on what happens.  Stay in touch and let us know what's going on and we can help to guide your decisions. Keep notes on paper of your dose, when taken and your symptoms, rate them for their severity, this way you get good clear understanding of what's happening.

 

Really its impossible to plan when you will become medication free, some people can go faster, some slower, everyone is different, it all depends on how your nervous system responds to the lowering level of the drug.  If withdrawal symptoms are still present, then holding at the current dose is advised.  Some people experience significant withdrawal symptoms with each cut others notice hardly anything.  If you are not getting symptoms, then you can possibly taper faster and stop sooner than someone who's nervous system is struggling with the reduction of medication.  Ideally, a person would taper as low as possible, gently tapering to a tiny amount so as to disrupt the nervous system the least possible when changing from something to nothing.

 

A slow taper will not only minimize withdrawal symptoms, it will give you the best chance at getting through the post-withdrawal year or two without having to go back on the drug. 

 

This article explains why its important to taper slowly at low doses, the charts begin at page 4.

 

http://survivinganti...-concentration/

[Aliwill]

Petu. Thanks again. Your advice is very helpful. At the moment my withdrawals are bearable. I wouldn't want them to get any worse but I am certainly not losing the plot. Just very uncomfortable. I understand what you are saying and I can only hope that this will work for me. To tell you the truth, I have read a lot posts on this forum today and I feel that people are going through so much with multiple drugs. I just thank god that. I am only dealing with one. I am feeling fairly disillusioned though. There just seem to be so few success stories on this site, or others. I have read so many stories of people getting really low on the meds then having to return to larger doses and failing to get off. I wish there was more positivity surrounding the path that I am about to undertake, it all seems too hard. As I stated in my intro, the main reason I want so desperately to get off these drugs is the weight gain and how it effects my confidence and how I feel about myself. If I didn't have that side effect I don't know if I'd bother. Any positive info you can send my way at the moment would be really helpful. I just want to know that this can work. I am also fearful of the first 12 months off the drug. Will it be as bad as these withdrawals. I have heard horror stories of ongoing symptoms. I don't know that I could cope. Sorry for all the negativity. I probably shouldn't have read everyone's stories today as I think it has made me feel worse. I just need some positivity. Even the moderators on this site are still battling their withdrawals.

[Petunia]

I understand your concerns Aliwill.  One of the problems with sites like this is that they attract people who are suffering and looking for help, once people start to feel better, they tend to disappear and not post any more, that's why there is a lot of negativity and so few complete success stories. 

 

People who have already done a too-fast taper or cold turkey often end up suffering for many months or even years, that's what happened to me, I tapered too fast and then spent months playing around with other medications trying to fix myself, by the time I found this site it was too late for me to reinstate, my nervous system was already too messed up, you're in the position where you can do it right.

 

Most of the difficult situations are caused by long term use, multiple drugs combined with too fast tapers or going CT.  Once members become stable and proceed with a slow, safe taper, most of them do very well.  Those who stick around and document their progress are rare.  Its best not to read the 'horror' stories at the this point, when you become stable and have gained some confidence with tapering slowly, you will feel much better.

 

Prozac is one of the easier drugs to taper from. As long as you are willing to be patient, there is no need to worry about withdrawal symptoms.  With the ability to do small cuts and long holds its possible to avoid all but minor discomforts.

 

 

I have heard horror stories of ongoing symptoms. I don't know that I could cope.

 

You are coping with what it feels like to go CT off 5mg, its not going to get worse than this now that you have reinstated and are going to taper properly. By learning how to taper safely, you gain the ability to control withdrawal symptoms.  By tapering slowly you will be protecting your nervous system while helping it adjust to lower and lower levels of the drug.

 

Rhi explains it brilliantly here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6447-best-of-sa/?p=91582

 

Its true that some moderators are still going through withdrawal issues, but others are much better and consider themselves recovered.  I have confidence that you will be one of our success stories.

 

Petu.

[Aliwill]

Petu,

I can't begin to thankyou for your feedback. If I could, I'd give you a huge hug. Please know that you are really helping me understand the in's and out's of this roller coaster, and you are making a difference to me. It certainly helps to be able to talk about this for the first time.

 

I'm actually feeling OK. I think that because I reinstated as soon as I really realised that I was having difficulties I have been able to avoid a disaster. I'm still having waves of anxiety (I certainly wouldn't want it to get worse, but it is manageable) I'm also still having heart palpitations, which I hate, but I know will settle down eventually. All other symptoms are certainly settling after my reinstatement, and it's only been 3 days, so I'm remaining positive. The only problem I'm having is that my symptoms get worse after I have taken the meds, I am wondering if the dose is slightly high. I will give it another few days and if that doesn't improve I will try reducing, just a little bit, to see if that settles it. What are your thoughts.

 

My intention is to then hold until l've been symptom free for a few weeks then start the slow taper. For the first time I am not feeling defeated by this drug because I actually have a plan.

 

I am wondering if anyone who has tapered from Prozac can tell me at what dose some of the side effects started to disappear. Do I have to wait until I am totally off this drug or will they dissipate as my dose reduces. As I have stated, I'm really concerned about the weight issues and I have suffered from a very much reduced sex drive. I know my husband will look forward to that one returning. The sexual function has only been an issue for me on Prozac. The Zoloft didn't have this effect. As all of you, I wish I had been told of all these issues BEFORE I started on this road.

 

Even now, with all the evidence, Dr's are not telling people of the potential side effects before commencing someone on these medications. My sister started it a couple of years ago, after the death of my brother, and was told be her Doc that it was completely safe. luckily she only stayed on it for a couple of months. Even then though, she had some difficultly getting off it, but did succeed eventually. I can't wait for the legal system to catch up with this farce, it's going to be as big as big tobacco, and I for one am going to love watching the fallout. I'm just not convinced it will be sooner rather than later. I may have to wait until I'm in old age to see it. I have however noticed that there are some firms in the UK and the States taking on cases. It may be worth noting for those of you that live in these countries. Register your interest in the class actions. The only way we can get info out there is to make a stand.

 

Again, thanks for listening to my rant, it does really help to get this off your chest.

 

I look forward to replies. It's helping me stay positive, rather than reading the negative stuff on Google.

[Petunia]

I'm actually feeling OK. I think that because I reinstated as soon as I really realised that I was having difficulties I have been able to avoid a disaster. I'm still having waves of anxiety (I certainly wouldn't want it to get worse, but it is manageable) I'm also still having heart palpitations, which I hate, but I know will settle down eventually. All other symptoms are certainly settling after my reinstatement, and it's only been 3 days, so I'm remaining positive. The only problem I'm having is that my symptoms get worse after I have taken the meds, I am wondering if the dose is slightly high. I will give it another few days and if that doesn't improve I will try reducing, just a little bit, to see if that settles it. What are your thoughts.

 

 

If you are feeling better in general on 1.5mg, then don't change your dose.

 

• After reinstatement, the amount of time needed to alleviate withdrawal symptoms (stabilizing) varies according to the individual. Relief can be felt immediately, after some weeks, or after some months.
• Once you feel withdrawal symptoms are reduced after reinstatement, give your nervous system time to stabilize before attempting dosage reduction. Think in terms of months, not days.
• Be patient after you reinstate. Reinstatement may not immediately eliminate all withdrawal symptoms. You may still experience waves of symptoms, which usually lessen as time goes on, see:

About reinstating and stabilizing to stop withdrawal symptoms

 

2.c. Do not jump around in dosage. For most drugs, it takes about 4 days for the change to fully register in your system. Unless you have an IMMEDIATE bad reaction, wait at least 4-7 days to see how the change affects you.

 

... the nervous system does best in a stable environment. Help your nervous system adapt to life without drugs by maintaining as much stability as you can.

 

Please see:  Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable

[lexhex]

It sounds like the only reason you want to come off the medication is because of the weight gain. Were you having any other negative symptoms? Did you feel good while you were on the Lovan at a moderate dose? I aks this because you may be barking up the wrong tree to solve your problem. If your issue is weight gain - then treat the weight gain. Make a serious lifestyle change to your diet and exercise routine for 6 months. If that brings the weight down, the meds may not be the problem.

 

Of course if you are having other symptoms that are related to the drugs, than by all means keep trying to taper down.

 

Looking back now, if I had the chance to make different decisions, I would have NEVER stopped taking the Lexapro I was on. I was having no side effects, slept like a baby, enjoyed my food, was positive about life and felt so good I thought I was CURED. That is the only reason I stopped. The withdrawal I went through and am still going through has absolutely NOT been worth it. So think hard about how you REALLY feel. If you feel good, let it be, and make other choices to change what you don't like about your body.

[mammaP]

It sounds like the only reason you want to come off the medication is because of the weight gain. Were you having any other negative symptoms? Did you feel good while you were on the Lovan at a moderate dose? I aks this because you may be barking up the wrong tree to solve your problem. If your issue is weight gain - then treat the weight gain. Make a serious lifestyle change to your diet and exercise routine for 6 months. If that brings the weight down, the meds may not be the problem.

 

Of course if you are having other symptoms that are related to the drugs, than by all means keep trying to taper down.

 

Looking back now, if I had the chance to make different decisions, I would have NEVER stopped taking the Lexapro I was on. I was having no side effects, slept like a baby, enjoyed my food, was positive about life and felt so good I thought I was CURED. That is the only reason I stopped. The withdrawal I went through and am still going through has absolutely NOT been worth it. So think hard about how you REALLY feel. If you feel good, let it be, and make other choices to change what you don't like about your body.

Lexhex, we are here to support people coming off anti depressants and not to encourage them to stay on them. 

Some AD's do cause weight gain for many people and it is only when they are down in dose or off that the weight

finally starts to go. Many many people feel well on their meds and decide they do not need it any more, taper too

fast and suffer the consequences. These drugs make changes in the brain and nervous system and they need time

to adjust while tapering. Withdrawal is horrendous but can be avoided by tapering slowly and carefully, then getting

on with life without drugs. Some people do stay on them for years but many, myself included end up very very sick and

disabled when they turn paradoxical and start having terrible side effects. 

 

Aliwill, my side effects started to subside as I tapered and I felt better and better with every drop. Sadly I went too fast 

and stopped too soon which led to withdrawal.  Once you have stabilised and started your taper you will feel better. 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, aliwill.

 

It seems to me you have sufficient reasons to want to go off Lovan! It may be your pre-diabetes state is entirely due to the drug.

 

Over time, these drugs have a general deteriorating effect on health. It's always wise to take only the drugs you absolutely need. It sounds like you got past the PND danger zone a long time ago.

 

It may take some time for reinstatement to fully take effect. Adverse effects tend to be dosage-related, so let's cross fingers this small amount will not trigger weight gain.

[Fresh]

Hi Aliwill , it's been a long time , how are things going for you?

 

Best wishes , Fresh

[Aliwill]

Hi all. It's been about 9 months since my last post. I'm doing well. Have had a few stumbles but on the whole am doing fairly ok. I'm down to 2mg of Prozac which I make from a dissolvable tablet. I have been luckier than most here as I've been able to take bigger drops without too much trouble. 20-10-5-4-3-2.5-2 I do allow myself to have much longer holds though so it probably all evens out. And if I've ever destablized I've held for months at a time. As you will notice the drops are getting smaller the lower I'm going so that probably makes sense. My next drop is planed for only .25 mg so just a tiny bit more than 10%. This however is not my question. My biggest problem has been massive weight gain with these drugs. How low have others gone before the weight starts to come off or do I have to be off it totally before I see an improvement. What has happened for others. If the weight starts to move I don't care if it takes me another year or so to get down from 2mgs. If I have to be totally of then I am a little more impatient. On a side note. Although I don't post here regularly I sometimes come and read others stories. I spent this afternoon doing just that and it made me so sad and angry. Probably a good idea for me to stay away from all the horror stories. I feel for everyone going through this and send all my love and best wishes to you all.

[Aliwill]

I need to add that when I found this site I was on 5mg so have certainly not made all those drops in 9 months. The whole process so far has taken me 2.5 years. Just thought I'd clarify that.

[AliG]

 You've done well.   I  wish I had known.   Good on you.

[Aliwill]

We are all doing well AliG. Considering we didn't ask for this. I had a couple of huge disasters before I found this site. and a long way to go. 2mg seems so small yet still so big. Where are you at. I think I've read that you are withdrawing from Prozac too?

[Aliwill]

Updated my signature to more accurately reflect my journey so far. 

 

I am currently holding to stabilize after a hiccup. I have destabilized about 3 weeks ago. I believe it was due to Tramadol that I took in March for pain after an operation. I didn't realize it was an SNRI, my doc never told me even though they knew I was tapering my AD. They had asked me why I was on only 4mg Prozac and I told them I was tapering my meds because I had had problems in the past with 'Discontinuation Syndrome'. I'm really angry at this but it is just another case where doctors stuff up. Surely they would think not to introduce an SNRI when I'm tapering my SSRI. Apparently not.  My withdrawals have always been delayed, even on Zoloft, which is why it took me so long to have my lightbulb moment that it was the drugs were causing my difficulties and not ‘my depressed state'. Do you think that I am correct in believing this? Or is it that I am on such a low dose and all changes will now be hard? I've had a pretty easy ride so far compared to some other stories here (although it has not been easy in the whole scheme of things if you look at my signature, just compared to some stories here) but I'm at the pointy end of my taper and am a little unsure. This is why I have decided to swap to a micro taper for the last haul. 0.1mg per week is the plan at this stage. (After I stabilize) Hopefully that will work and I will be drug free in the future.

 

I have read over the few posts on my thread and just want to say something. Lexhex, your advice to stay on my meds because my only side effect was weight gain, was unfortunately not helpful. I have had many more side effects from these meds including dramatic weight gain, exhaustion, where I can't get through a day without a sleep, head pressure, migraine headaches, tingling in my feet, inability to put thoughts and ideas into action and decreased cognitive ability. (It has already taken me 1.5 hrs to write this post.) When I have gone cold turkey I think I have had just about all of them except DP, and I've always had the ability to love, which I am very grateful for. I have been very lucky though that reinstating so far has always allowed me to stabilize within a couple of months. Lucky me, I guess. I also know that this may not continue so will always be careful with everything surrounding these drugs. 

 

These side effects have left me with a limited ability to work. I certainly couldn't manage full time only part time. At this stage I am running my own photography business but don't have the capacity to give it what I should to make it grow. I am lucky that I have a supportive husband, but the financial stress has certainly been felt. 

 

Yes, for me the weight gain is huge and the reason I started trying to discontinue in the first place. As a woman who never carried any weight it has been very upsetting to have people treat you differently because you are 'fat and obviously lazy' But you know you have tried EVERYTHING to lose the weight including not eating a thing (And I mean NOTHING but water for almost a week in desperation to move a few pounds), then to get on the scale and ZERO, still exactly the same as before. The emotional effects of this side effect are huge, and personally devastating. The way I feel about myself and how I look is not conducive to a healthy wellbeing. So in light of that, I'd ask you not to comment on the reasons why people want to get off these drugs. Everyone’s reason for discontinuation is valid and should be supported.  Ok rant over.

 

I have also read, on another post on this site,that Prozac is one with the least success stories. Post is titled 'Is Prozac the evil drug". I must admit this post has gotten me really concerned that I'll never get free of this. Rationally I know that this shouldn't be the case but am having a bit of a melt down due to my current destabilization. So looking for support that this is not the case and Prozac is no worse than the others. Direction to a success story from a Prozac taper would be really really helpful.

 

I have always been a 'lurker' on this site, but it has given me so much hope that I just may be doing it properly this time regarding tapering that I have decided to post semi regularly during my last push, so as to record my journey and also hopefully give others hope that this can be done.

 

Wish me luck.

[Petunia]

I have also read, on another post on this site,that Prozac is one with the least success stories. Post is titled 'Is Prozac the evil drug". I must admit this post has gotten me really concerned that I'll never get free of this. Rationally I know that this shouldn't be the case but am having a bit of a melt down due to my current destabilization. So looking for support that this is not the case and Prozac is no worse than the others. Direction to a success story from a Prozac taper would be really really helpful.

 

 

Prozac is no harder to taper from than any other antidepressant, in fact its one of the easier ones, especially if you taper slowly enough at a pace which is right for you. Because of its long half life, withdrawal symptoms may be delayed and this may cause people to taper faster than they should, meaning that withdrawal symptoms may catch up with them unexpectedly later. This is the only reason I can think of that would make it seem harder.

 

Here is a recovery story post:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8232-nicoleflys-life-after-prozac/?p=150939

[Aliwill]

Such a quick response. You always come to my aid and I am eternally grateful. I thought it was just me over reacting due to my destabilization but when I am destablized I lose the ability to be really rational so thanks for putting me on the right track. A few deep breaths and I will read the whole tread but the post you directed me too made me feel hopeful again. Thanks again.

 

What are your thoughts on the Tramodol. Could it be that that caused my current destabilization?

[Petunia]

Yes, I agree it was most likely the Tramadol which caused destabilization.

[Aliwill]

This was actually posted on another thread by clearday. It resonates so much with me that I'd like to add it to mine. It explains so eloquently how we have all ended up in this mess. 

 

 

Thanks Clearday

 

 

The more stories you read on here, the less confused you will be -

 

Almost every story on here is some version of the same story:

 

We were put on antidepressants to treat some “condition”;

 

Perhaps the medication helped, and we stayed on the medication for some time, often a few years or more;

 

Unknown to us, our nervous systems became extremely dependent on these medications;

 

The day came when we wanted to come off the medication, for any number of reasons;

 

We found out that coming off these medications caused unexpected, bizarre, and horrific mental and physical withdrawal effects;

 

Our doctors told us that these withdrawal effects were “a relapse of our original condition”, and that we “needed” to go back on these medications in order to feel better;

 

Things only got worse from there, and no one could help us out of the deep hole we had fallen into, we had no idea what had happened to us, thanks to an incredibly mismanaged modern medical establishment;

 

We stumbled on to these forums where it all became quickly clear that we had been severely harmed by use of these antidepressant medications, most often SSRI/SNRIs;

 

And this was very clear to us, because only WE had been on these drugs, only WE had experienced these horrible, almost unbelievable withdrawal symptoms firsthand;

 

And we saw that we ALL had experienced broadly the SAME basic withdrawal symptoms, getting struck down by them in basically the SAME manner, over the SAME lengthy time period, as we came of these drugs;

 

And that our doctors had failed to inform us ahead of time of the great risks of physical harm of taking these powerful nerve-altering drugs;

 

And they failed to recognize the damage themselves, and made the problem so much worse by pushing more medications on us;

 

And that it took a long time, but many of us healed once we got off these drugs.

[Aliwill]

Still holding.

 

Symptoms from my last destabilization have definitely gotten a lot better but not gone totally. I can feel myself building up a little. I find that when I am due for my period and a few days after that, my symptoms are worse even if I have those middle of the month days where I'm 100% fine.  I find withdrawal defiantly throw's my cycles out. I go from having a very regular cycle of 26 days (I've always been 26 days) to cycles all over the place when my CNS is out of whack. 19 days, 22 days, 40 days. When they are like this I find my symptoms fluctuate with these cycles. When my periods settle back to a normal 26 day cycle, my symptoms all go away. I know that these symptoms are not normal PMT and they are definitely withdrawal symptoms, (waves of anxiety, knot in the stomach, head pressure, morning cortisol waking etc.) I don't have them at all when I'm not withdrawing.

 

I actually see this as a blessing rather than a curse. I have something very concrete to work with, when I go through a cycle with zero symptoms and they are regular, it means my body has found its own equilibrium, and I am ready for my next taper.

 

The only negative is that I have to have very long holds as I have to wait for my periods each month to see if I'm ready to take the next taper.

 

It won’t be this month, symptoms are pretty good, just not perfect yet. Maybe next month.

 

Do any other women find themselves in the same situation? Or anyone understand why this happens?

 

(Sorry to the Gent's for this post, but, I think fairly appropriate for woman)

[Aliwill]

With a heavy heart, and a few tears of disappointment, I up dosed to 2.5mg last night.

 

My symptoms had continued to worsen, High anxiety, fear, negative thoughts, elastic band feeling around my head, then the last couple of days, the dreaded depression. (I have rarely suffered with this; my symptoms have always been on the anxiety side) I am due for my period in the next week, which could be a contributing factor, however the symptoms just got too bad to wait.  So, I hope that I have made the right decision.

 

As I am unsure what has caused my recent destabilisation, either just dropping too quickly, or a reaction from the anesthetic and tramadol from an operation a few months ago, it was very hard to pinpoint the correct dosage to choose. I still believe that my operation has caused this, as I had been travelling on so well, but can't really say anything for certain. If it is the operation then I am in effect, in withdrawal from a totally different drug, so very nervous of the outcome and whether these symptoms will continue.

 

I have started to have thoughts surrounding the fact that I am on such a small dose that I may not get any further, this may be me, and I’m stuck on this forever. I try really hard to turn these thoughts around but I am really scared. I now know that I have a long taper in front of me, even from the small doses that I am on, I thought I was so close, but am realizing that I still have a long way to go. It feels like a death, the death of a dream. I just hope that once I stabilize I can continue on this journey and that the lower I go, my side effects start to lose hold, they haven't yet, so am unsure how low I need to go before I see positive results, hopefully before I hit the end.

 

I need to go to my signature and update my last dosage, I'm so sad that it is up and not down. I do this with tears in my eyes.

[Fresh]

I believe you'll get past this Ali.   It may feel like a defeat to have up-dosed , but I see it as you taking control over this process as best as you can.  And that's a very powerful step.

 

Looking at your signature , it's not really surprising that your boat was rocked.

"Feb.2015 , 4mg prozac.

 March 2015 , 3mg prozac.

 April 2015 , 2.5mg prozac

 May 2015 , 2mg prozac."

 

I'm seeing big decreases (25% , then 33.3% , then 20%) each month.   It's going to take you a while to re-stabilize after this type of taper.

 

On another note , you might check in with cdav - her symptoms are also closely related to her cycle.   It's wonderful if you can use this as a wellness-marker to inform you about each cut.

[Aliwill]

Looking at your signature , it's not really surprising that your boat was rocked.

"Feb.2015 , 4mg prozac.

 March 2015 , 3mg prozac.

 April 2015 , 2.5mg prozac

 May 2015 , 2mg prozac."

 

I'm seeing big decreases (25% , then 33.3% , then 20%) each month.   It's going to take you a while to re-stabilize after this type of taper.

 

On another note , you might check in with cdav - her symptoms are also closely related to her cycle.   It's wonderful if you can use this as a wellness-marker to inform you about each cut.

 

I know, I know.  Thats why I am so unsure if it is the taper or the operation. I have always been able to do really big cuts at higher doses, before I found this site I went from 10mg to 5 mg with no issues. 50% drop. I did have very big holds though. Months.

 

I thought that after I dropped from 10-5  with no side effects that a 1mg drop would be OK. Obviously not. The smaller doses are definately a different beast. I understand that now.

 

I'm planning a micro taper after this, but don't know how micro to go. Is 0.1mg small enough and how long should I wait between drops? My symptoms are always delayed, so if I wait months between drops, I'll still be taking this **** for years. It will take so long even from my already low dose.

 

I have to get through this first. But trying to think about a positive future, rather than dwell on my current situation.

 

Thanks for directing me to cdav. I'll definately look at her thread. I hate putting all my cycle information here, but it seems to have an enormous effect on my withdrawal, so I do use it as a guide to my wellness.

 

Thanks so much for replying to my post. It feels so good to have a sounding board.

 

(((((Hugs))))) to you.

[Fresh]

I made a mistake Ali - you didn't do a 33% drop , it was half of that , 17% (sorry).    But you got the point , this year has seen big cuts without long holds , and you've paid the price.

 

You may not need to go to the other extreme of teeny tiny cuts.    I think I'd try a 5% cut when I was ready , and give it a month to see what the fall-out is.    

You've come such a long way , and this is the last leg.   

 

Sending love and blessings . . . you'll be back on track soon , and will feel much more positive.

 

[LoveandLight]

So sorry your feeling bad right now, but as fresh said hopefully you'll be back on track soon. And look how far you've come!

 

You were taking 40mg of Prozac before!

[Aliwill]

Thanks to Fresh and LoveandLight.

 

This site is so good for reassurance. And it is very much appreciated. Yes I have learnt, Slower next time.  And I HAVE come such a long way.

 

It just sucks when you are not feeling OK.  I really don't know how the CT people do this for years on end.

 

So glad that re-instating has so far worked for me. Don't want to push my luck though. I NEVER want to feel that way again.

 

And to finish off, I just want to say, I blooming well hate these pharmacutical companies and what they have done to us. I want to say it with much stronger words here, but don't want to offend anybody, so will keep it clean. I'm sure you both know what I'm trying to say.

 

I'm just preying for the day when these drugs are known for what they do.

 

Love and healing to all on this journey.

[Altostrata]

Yes, good to hear a little updose worked for you.

 

See

 

"Is it always going to be like this?"

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Recovery

[Aliwill]

Ok. So the updose worked for a few days and then I was struck with symptoms again. The anxiety is killing me.

 

I tried to updose slightly more (from 2.5-3) but this was too activating. After 2 days I dropped back down to 2.5. The first day back at 2.5 was ok. Still had symptoms but manageable but today I'm back to high anxiety, sweats, head pressure and headache, can't manage to get much food down.

 

Still unsure if it's a delayed reaction to tramadol (after an op 5 months ago) or I have Continued to drop too quickly. I've been getting symptoms for about 6 weeks (since June 10) but the last few days have been worse. This is worse than my cold turkey drop from 5mg and harder to stabelize.

 

My questions are, what should I do. Should I just keep holding and if so how long may it take to feel better. Or should I go back to my dose of 5 which I was stable at for a long time before the op. Or should I go back to 20mgs and start again.

 

The only problem with any updose is that I'm really scared that it will be far too activating and I'll end up even worse. Yet if I don't will this destabelization last months and months longer or even worse years.

 

I need someone to give me some advise I'm starting to get desperate and very confused about what to do. Alto I'd love your input to this?

 

Thanks in advance.

[Aliwill]

Forgot to mention. The symptoms were ok for the first (30 days) month including through my period. Morning cortisol that became ok during the day then some anxiety in the evening. On the 30th day I felt depressed (but was also 5 days out from my period) so I updosed to 2.5.

 

Felt ok for another few days the got my period and felt better. Back to morning cortisol and evening anxiety.

15 days after updose I felt anxious all day and depressed so decided to updose to 3. The next 2 days were really bad so decided to drop back to 2.5. The first day after drop was ok then symptoms really bad today.

 

I'm trying to give you as much information as possible so that you can give me informed advice.

 

Hope this helps.

[Altostrata]

If you read The Windows and Waves Pattern of Recovery , you will see that you will have bad days and good days.

 

It can be difficult to hold on through a wave, but that's where we learn patience in dealing with this condition. Gradually, the windows become larger and waves smaller.

 

That is how healing happens. It can take many months. Please be patient.

[Fresh]

Checking up on you Aliwill . . . how are you going at the moment?

 

If you've been in the Australia room lately , you'll see that there's a class action lawsuit that

you may want to be involved with , you just need to contact the lawyers.

From your first post and the reaction you describe to stopping zoloft , you're eligible.

 

Hope you didn't lose a motza on the Cup ,  

Fresh