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direstraits

☼ direstraits: Paxil withdrawal

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direstraits

thanks,Chessie

 

I'll check them out again..

 

Ithink alot of my problem is just feeling kinda stuck...I used to have a car,used to work plus take care of my disabled daughter.

 

now I feel like the disabled one...don't even get dressed most of the time...just lay around thinking about the past...this WD has relly left me a mess...going on 3 years. just trying to hold on and survive this...almost 62 and don't know what the future will look like but not feeling optimistic about it at this point...sorry, in a bad place right now.

 

thanks again for your concern,ds

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direstraits

I'm so sick...really don't feel like I can do this anymore...having SI...can't eat...it's not getting better.

 

I need help...I'm desperate.

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scallywag

Who can you talk with?  Have you tried any of the "warm" lines?

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manymoretodays

Hi dire.  Yah........would be good if you could visit with someone.  I still get some of that SI from time to time and then it passes........for longer and longer periods too as far as it passing.   Anything to get you out of your thoughts and past tripping might help right now........  Can you distract with tv or anything.......reading, music, sleep?  Who can you call or visit with?

 

Any hope of getting a car and being able to get on out on your own?  Or public transit nearby?  Maybe cabin fever stuff?  Or some seasonal shift what with Spring around the corner?

 

You can do it........you've been doing it...........and yah, it does get better.

 

It's New Jersey dire!  Maybe you gotta get out of New Jersey!  Just a bad joke.......but did you laugh?

 

Anyway......big hugs ((((((())))))))))  Try for just smoothies or pudding or anything........chicken soup?   Herbal tea can be great too.

 

Love you.......keep posting or even msg. me if you want to.

 

Best,

 

mmt

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AliG

DS. We can all have times of serious doubt when we think we can't go on - but then there is also just having a very bad day . There is a distinct difference. Which do you feel it is ?  I'm hoping that this will look better to you in the morning. If it doesn't then you might need to look to some counseling or at the very least talk to a friend. It could perhaps even be a family member that you feel comfortable talking to about this.

 

It is up to you to assess how much help you need at this time. If - like me, you are unwilling to go there with family or friends then you might need to call a hot line as SW suggested or look to some psych counseling and /or CBT therapy.

 

As you are not sleeping and have also had a very sad anniversary at the end of February ( 28th)  I'm not really surprised that you are struggling right now as both sets of conditions can certainly cause or exacerbate a wave. I have experienced very similar conditions and it had a similar effect.

 

Please let us know how you are and how bad it is / or isn't right now. I'm a little concerned because I've known you for a few years now and I know that you don't usually exaggerate. I'm hoping that it's just a convergence of factors at this particular point in time . 

 

Sending ((( hugs))).  

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direstraits

Hey guys...thanks for your replies....just a really bad wave I guess...started Sat. night with a jump in anxiety...I really wouldn't do anything ...couldn't do that to my family....it's just so wearing after dealing with it for so long and I' ll be 62 on Monday...not getting any younger,feel like life is passing by and this condition makes you feel even older!

 

anyway,as long as I have you guys I know I'llget through....thanks for all your support.

 

hey,mmt...haha....but NJ is actually a great place,I'm in south jersey with the pinelands and the jersey shore is beautiful,but I got a laugh from that.

 

hugs to all,ds

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MollyN

The world is a far better place with you in it direstraits - I'm so glad you were able to come on here and post about it. Feeling the weight of another birthday has an effect too and if I don't 'see' you then Happy Birthday for then!! xxxx

 

It's funny really, I must have set a notification to follow your thread back in the day, so each week there is a message or two from/to you in my inbox - so in some funny way I feel like we're friends because there you are - more regularly than most other people I know  ^_^

 

Big hugs and love to you and I hope your 60s are brilliant and your 70s/80s the best times of your life!

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direstraits

what a wonderful uplifting post...wow,wasn't expecting that...thanks so much,Molly,nice to meet you!

 

nice to know I have another friend out there....and thanks for the birthday wishes.

 

take care,ds

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megb

Hi Direstraits, 

I read a bit through your thread - I am fairly new to SA and like to see how the veterans are doing. It sounds like you've had quite the journey! I've had terrible SI a couple times when I came off too quickly..it is just AWFUL. I am praying that yours is lifted asap!! Can I ask how you think you are feeling in relation to what it was like in 2014 when you first joined? What medications/doses are you currently on?

-Meg 

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direstraits

Hi,Meg

 

thanks for posting...I've been off all drugs for almost 3 years...it's been ahell of aride but I'm hanging in.

 

symptoms have evolved over the years,sometimes it seems for the worse,but I've had some better days,too...it's areal roller coaster!

 

still in awave but alittle better than yesterday...was able to sit out in the sun..that felt nice...gonna get very cold and some snow tomorrow.

 

hope you're doing well.  ds

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manymoretodays

Hi direstraits, birthday girl,

 

Yah, I know that NJ must be a very nice place and was just testing you.  In fact I believe I was there once many many years ago.

 

Birthdays sometimes get weird for me too and then the day comes and it all can be very nice.  Is it next Monday?  Will send out all the positivity I can muster for your day!!!

 

In the 60's Fahrenheit here today......I kid you not.  I even opened some windows for a bit and it smells nice.  Alas though, winter is not over here......I expect it will be back for a day or a few before too long.  So glad you got some sunlight.  I did too......stood outside like a paralyzed war victim soaking up the rays for a bit.  Puttered around briefly in my yard.  I have no complaints though......really.  Spring is not always nice to me and winters aren't always doldrums either.......no rhyme or reason for my own patterns.  I am just glad they are changing/healing and life is good.

 

Happy, happy, healing healing birthday to you!  Do celebrate somehow even if it's just inside.

 

Love,

manymoretodays

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direstraits

paralysed war victim...you crack me up,mmt :) 

 

I know what you mean,though...we're the collateral damage of big pharma,I guess.

 

thanks for the birthday wishes, so sweet of you.

 

love you,many.

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direstraits

I think the cold I had last month has really taken atoll...I'm still coughing at times and sometimes have a weird taste when I cough.

 

and now WD symptoms are ramped up again..ugh

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manymoretodays

Happy Birthday direstraits!!!!  I will celebrate somehow in your honor today.  Stay young at heart and find new horizons........  Hope you are feeling somewhat lifted today.

 

Love and best,

mmt

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direstraits

thanks,mmt

 

How did you know purple is my favorite color?

 

nice to know people are thinking of you.

 

seem to be doing somewhat better,didn't have the horrible anxiety last night nor whenwaking up this morning...YAY!

 

just taking it easy awaiting tomorrow's snow storm...could get up to a foot!

 

hope you're doing OK.....lots of love,ds

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Flowers

Happy Birthday DS!

 

Thinking of you and hope things change for the better soon. Glad the anxiety has eased a bit!

 

Much love and hugs

 

xxxxxxxFlowers

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direstraits

thanks,Flowers,I know you're not feeling well so this means a lot to me...

 

I hope you start to see some relief very soon,you've suffered so much.

 

sending much love and healing thoughts...ds

 

XOXO

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Athena

Hi Dire! I hope you are feeling somewhat better. Oh I missed your birthday!! Happy birthday!! March 13th was my dear grandma's birthday too.

 

Big hug for your belated birthday, warm love and hope energies from Québec to New Jersey!

 

Athena xx

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direstraits

thank you,Athena!

 

fighting the restless legs again but not too bad.

 

hope you're doing well.

 

xxx

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direstraits

I'm just in a really bad place and don't know if I can cope anymore ...intensely replaying my past and feeling so overwhelmed and guilty...

 

I can't make any sense out of my life anymore..it's too much.

 

less than 100 in  the world with RCDP ( my daughter's disease)...you can google RHIZO KIDS if you're curious.

 

the last few years I was starting to be afraid that I might do something I'd regret...( was starting to lose control)

 

this coincided with going off and on the drugs and perimenopause...a very difficult time..

 

I'm just so tired of beating myself up over it all....just needed to get it out of my head....thanks for being here..

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megb

Dire, hang in there SA friend! You have come so very very far, don't give up!! We are all here for you. Everyone needs a good vent and cry - especially us that suffer WD daily. Keep trusting yourself to do 10 more minutes and then 10 more, 10 more, etc. Do you have something this weekend to look forward to? A nice walk, dessert, meeting a friend, warm bath? I always like to have some things to anticipate when I'm in a bad place. 

 

Do you often replay the past going on and off the meds? 

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manymoretodays

Oh Dire,

 

Not too many of us can make sense out of the world anymore........  I went and read about RCDP a bit........and I wonder what it was called back when I was doing pediatric nursing.  Soooo......some of it, your feelings, must be related to the death anniversary of your daughter and all that that brings up??  Maybe......Idk.  Sometimes it just gets tough.......I mean you had years upon years of the AD's and probably a very long stretch of just not being allowed to feel at all.  Plus all the darn regrets.......could haves, should haves.........look at me now.  You matter!!!  You HAVE achieved more than most of us do in our life times.........

 

Did you get the most recent cold temps and snow too?

 

Anyway......I will swing by and pick you up asap and we will go on off on the most amazing adventure yet!!!!  Hey, I would if I could.  I am pretty sure I will head Eastward for a visit come summer........probably Aug. or Sept.............so maybe we can meet on up somewhere and visit.  That would be cool.

 

You are doing great.......doing fine........the best is coming soon.......

 

((((Direstraits))))

 

Best,

 

manymoretodays 

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direstraits

Hi,Meg

 

thanks for stopping by...thanks for your suggestions; I just went for a drive with my husband but it's just so hard to enjoy anything right now the way I feel.at least I got out of the apt.for a while.

 

MMT,so glad you're there for me..you're a dear lady ...rhizomelic chondrodysplasia punctata...quite amouthful,eh?actually they diagnosed her with Conradi's syndrome at first which is less severe,I think.

 

anyway,maybe this latest obsessing is just all part of the WD...who knows...maybe didn't grieve properly while going on and off thepoison and dealing with caring for my Mom,now it's all catching up with me.

 

an amazing adventure sounds wonderful...just what I need ,if I can ever get myself back together again... :(  :wacko:  :angry: 

 

Love, dire....xxx

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direstraits

has anyone else taken a turn for the worse after having a cold or virus?

 

can't seem to get back to some kind of WD normal lately...worst I've been for a while.

 

just looking for some hope I guess that things can get better again...right now it doesn't feel like it ever will...

 

hardly functioning at all....don't want to live like this.

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manymoretodays

Yup.  I have gotten worse after URI stuff.  I think I got worse after taking a Z-pack the fall before last too.  This past fall when I got a cold and URI symptoms I didn't even go see the Dr.  But it was kind of a prodrome to a wave/wobbly ness I think........as well as the holidays........hmmm, weird.

 

Just know that the intensity does indeed fade and it gets better.  Even the memory of the worst of the waves fades.

 

You'll see.  Take it easy meantime.......force yourself out if you have to........call someone, try not to be alone with these kind of feelings.

 

Yes, it will get better again.

 

Join me for coffee or tea??  Lately I do a pinch of cinnamon and cur-cumin in my coffee and coconut milk and honey........it's so good!  Uh oh......came back to edit........it's cardamom not curcumin that I put in.

 

It is okay to hardly function just do not get lost in the feelings in isolation.  Okay?  You hear me??

 

Love, peace, healing, growth,

 

manymoretodays

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MollyN

Lots of love direstraits xxx Hang in there; spring and its growing sense of promise and newness is just around your corner xxx

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luv2knit

has anyone else taken a turn for the worse after having a cold or virus?

 

can't seem to get back to some kind of WD normal lately...worst I've been for a while.

 

just looking for some hope I guess that things can get better again...right now it doesn't feel like it ever will...

 

hardly functioning at all....don't want to live like this.

Hey, DS. Haven't been on in a while, but saw your post and wanted to respond. I got the flu the beginning of March. My worst (withdrawal) nightmare... 102°+ fever... couldn't eat for 5 days, etc. Lost 6 (more) lbs. Funny--while I was sick, my withdrawal symptoms, including akathisia, were 80% GONE! Once it was over, they resumed of course, and in fact have been worse than they have been in over a year. Just the last week, I've had a day or two that were a bit better, but yesterday was worse than ever! So sorry you're going through this, but you're not alone! Hang in there!! (((Hugs)))

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direstraits

just wanted to come on and thank everyone for posting...so appreciative of your love and support!

 

think I' m finally start to feel a bit better,was actually able to make dinner last night,haven't done that for a while,mood was better.

 

my daughter got me this healing necklace for my b-day last month...hope it works!don't know where I'd be without her and my grandson..

 

so good to hear from you,luv2knit...sorry you had the flu but I can relate to feeling better when being sick..I was aware of that a long time ago...feeling better mentally when I wasn't well physically...always wondered why that was?

sorry you took a turn for the worse again...hoping we see much improvement at the 3 year mark!  xxx

 

hey,mmt...that coffee and tea sounds good..I'll have to try it, thanks...xxx

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direstraits

thought I was really starting to get better the last several days..went food shopping Tuesday; hadn't done that in weeks.think maybe I couldhave been feeling some mania even? IDK...

 

thrown back into the pits today...just so damn tired of it all.

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Blondiee1915

Hi direstraits,

 

I read your post on the fatigue thread from 2015 and was wondering if you fatigue improved and how long it took to notice a difference . Thank you in advance

 

B

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direstraits

Hi Blondiee,

 

that's funny , I was just reading that today...unfortunately I still have a lot of fatigue, some times it lets up some what but always there to some extent..also I'm 62 years old so don't know how much that plays into it... <_<

 

I can't believe how long this can go on...almost 3 years off and still suffer a lot..but also getting days where I seem to be feeling pretty good...it's confusing and frustrating to say the least.

 

hope you're doing OK.

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Blondiee1915

I am sorry you are still not 100% recovered but it is so individualistic.  Some people recover faster than others for various reasons.  It is good you get some windows.  Frustrating and confusing that is for sure.  This whole process I question, I get frustrated, then when I feel somewhat okay I get strong and continue.  I just do not want to be on drugs anymore.  So this is the only way out.  The fatigue is very frustrating. I hope it gets better for the both of us.

 

Sending healing your way 

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direstraits

thank you....take care.

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direstraits

today marks 3 years off paxil...wish I could say I was recovered but what can you do but go with the flow...

 

I do think I'm headed in the right direction but just so tired of the whole process..just wish I could know when and if I would be healed,it would make it so much easier to cope...it's the not knowing that makes this so unbearable.

 

oh,well..1 day at atime is all we can do..

 

wishing all strength and hope....xxx

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Flowers

Hi DS - 3 years is such a long time.

 

I wish you healing and peace.

 

Love and hugs

 

Flowers xxx

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