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direstraits

☼ direstraits: Paxil withdrawal

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direstraits

thank you my dear friend....having a bad time today...hope you're coping OK.

 

much Love and Hugs,ds

 

xxx

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manymoretodays

Hi dire,

 

Oh no......I am rooting from afar for you to get some strings of better days again soon, like yesterday!  Anything that you have found to help at all?  I like that you laugh at my sometimes "have to" have a lighter take on life.......it seems it just comes naturally sometimes for me.  Perhaps part of my own backwards upside down ness that makes a lot of sense and is sometimes how I am.

 

My own boy, son, still celebrating a bit of his birthday as it was a big one......25, a quarter of a century.........well he did 68 days sober and then even before his bday......decided to drink a bit again.  Pretty normal I guess as far as that goes and still seeking anyway..........  I don't know......he is still working fairly hard and .......I guess I am just glad I am not 25 myself and so proud of him sometimes.......and myself too, in that ability to let him find his way and just be here.......really able to be here at last.  Thankful for that.

 

And oh.....I still have some tears once in awhile and fears and mostly only get a little angry.......like today, at things like the freeway!  Oh.......I could go on about the freeway.  Then on the other hand.......I can drive it again and I like driving.  Any hopes for a vehicle for you in the future?  Maybe something like that would help?  More time with your daughter.......I just love that she gave you a healing necklace for your birthday.........  Or more trips to the coast? 

 

I so wish I knew......just what.........would help you now turn that corner.  All I can think of is that I hope and I will send intentions that an inkling, a spark, comes real soon.  Cruise around the site........go to the links..........or just relax and listen to music............. 

 

Thank you for your post on mine too.  Hugs.  Love.

 

manymoretodays 

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direstraits

always happy to hear from you,mmt..

 

I started to feel better as the day went on...got outside in the hazy sun for a bit,maybe that helped.

 

I haven't driven a car in over 4 years...really miss that..my husband has been riding a bike (motorcycle) from his work lately,so I do have access to a vehicle but my eyes are so bad right now I wouldn't be able to drive..God I hate this..

 

we're going down the shore on Saturday,if I'm up to it,so looking forward to that..

 

watching my grandson tomorrow evening...he's the best.

 

Happy Birthday to your son! wishing him well.

 

thanks for all your concern and caring...you're a dear soul...xxx

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direstraits

had a pretty good day Saturday...started out a little rough but I really wanted to get out and go to the shore like we had planned.

 

it was supposed to be a cloudy day but when we got there the sun was shinlng although it was quite windy but still a beautiful day.

 

we walked the boardwalk alittle and got our traditional sausage sandwich and lemonade...then walked on the beach briefly..I really was glad we went even though it tired me out.

 

yesterday I watched my grandson for a few hours so today I'm pretty wiped out.

 

wanted to get a shower but just don't have the energy...oh well,on we go.

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Happy2Heal

glad to hear you're getting some good times even with the not so good

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direstraits

thanks,catnapt...hope you're doing well.

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Flowers

Hi DS

 

So glad you were able to get out on the shore as planned!

 

These little excursions keep us going even though we are tired afterwards. Well done!

 

Hugs Flowers xxx

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direstraits

hey,Flowers,thanks...how are you doing?

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direstraits

restless night...lots of lower back pain...aspirin helped but can't seem to get rid of it.....so weak when getting out of bed..it feels never-ending and hopeless...

 

still can't believe this is happening 3 years out...these drugs are just evil.

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doggiemama

I know the feeling I'm also 3+ years I'm much better than I was but know were near I was before I started this junk. So we just carry on Strongs for you

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direstraits

thanks for stopping by,doggie mama

 

I'm not really sure I can say I'm much better than before right now...this is just awful.

 

how much can one take..I'm scared.

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Blondiee1915

restless night...lots of lower back pain...aspirin helped but can't seem to get rid of it.....so weak when getting out of bed..it feels never-ending and hopeless...

 

still can't believe this is happening 3 years out...these drugs are just evil.

I also get a lower back pain and what helps me is putting a small pillow in between my knees it takes some pressure of. Not a cure but feels better

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direstraits

thanks for the suggestion,Blondiee

 

hope you're coping OK....xx

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AliG

Hey DS. I believe we have to keep moving or we start to eventually seize up. It is so easy during this process to stop moving, but yoga helps. Have you tried it yet?

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direstraits

right  now I can hardly get off the couch,but have been wanting to try it...just can't seem to get going w/anything..

 

I have a combo exercise bike,elliptical,recumbent bike but can only do a couple minutes at lowest tension.

 

feel like i wanna jump outta my skin right now :angry: ...

 

xx

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manymoretodays

Hi Dire, here are a couple of Qigong practices(I hope) to help awaken joy and healing.  Very simple......very effective.  Haola!

 

http://blog.theshiftnetwork.com/blog/discover-3-qigong-practices-awaken-joy-healing-within-videos?utm_campaign=Qigong04&utm_medium=email&utm_source=infusionsoft&utm_content=05202017+content

 

I wish I was on the beach today.......will walk though......many streams.......

 

Love, recovery/healing, peace, growth and gentle hugs

 

mmt

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direstraits

thanks,mmt....xxx

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LexAnger

Hi DS,

Just stopping by to see how you have been doing. Read the first page of your thread and then decided to jump to the last page see how you are lately, oh dear, I'm so sorry about how much you went through these years. It sounds you are off Paxil since late 2014 but still in heavy WD. My God, I wish so much we can be near each other to provide some comfort and strghenth for the rest of the journey.

 

You are in my prayer now, I hope the healing time is in the corner for you!

 

Lots love and hugs,

Lex

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direstraits

thanks for visiting my thread,Lex.

 

appreciate the love and support!

 

hang in there!  we'll make it yet!

 

xxx

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miT

hang in there!  we'll make it yet!

 

For sure. Lasting change is always preceded by a big crisis.

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Flowers

Hi DS

 

Just wondering how you are doing? I hope you are still getting some good days. 

 

Love from Flowers xxx

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direstraits

that's so weird, I was just thinking about asking you the same!

 

last few days have been pretty rough....the ruminating about the past,feeling guilty,blah blah blah.

 

just feeling so SICK....ugh I hate complaining but it is what it is I guess.

 

I did have a decent day last Tuesday,went to dinner w/ hubby,daughter and dear grandson which I enjoyed.

 

never feel like I did beforeWD and so scared I never will after 3 years of this BS.

 

how are you doing?  I think of you often.

 

Love,ds     xoxo

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Flowers

Yes it is scary but if you can see some improvement you are heading in the right direction.

 

These good  days( like yours last Tuesday) will get us through somehow. There is hope. 

 

Thanks for visiting my thread and your good wishes are always appreciated.

 

Take care DS.

 

Love from Flowers xxx

 

 

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Happy2Heal

sorry things have been rough DS, I hope they turn around soon

 

and you are so overdue for a window!

all the best

 

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direstraits

thanks for visiting, Happy2Heal...appreciate the support!

 

I read your thread and know you struggle a lot,too..hang in there.

 

hugs and healing thoughts,ds

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Happy2Heal

you're welcome

 

I so wish I could take everyone's pain away....

but as hard as this is, I know at least for myself, I've learned a lot and grown a lot, so it's not all bad.

would have preferred an easier way to learn these things, but then maybe I wouldn't have worked quite so hard  :/

 

we're all going to get thru this and be so happy to come out the other side

 

hoping that comes soon!!

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direstraits

I think we'll just appreciate life so much more when this hell is over...something to look forward to.

 

we've just got to stay strong until that day arrives.

 

xxx

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direstraits

Ijust can't deal with this torture any more...3 years of suffering is way too much...I'm really considering going back on something...I just don't see this ever ending...most of you are still tapering and will probably recover,Ijumped off after a quick taper and years of on and off,many times.

 

I can't live like this anymore...I have to do something!! do you think it's dangerous after all this time?I'm so scared that my life is over.

 

do you really think I will recover from this?I need someone to give me some hope...I really am afraid of losing my mind at this point.

 

God help me.

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Madeleine

I'm sorry you are suffering in this way. I can't advise re: going back on.  But, I can say that another member just came back today after being off for at least 2 years, and then being away from the forum for quite a few months. She was doing really poorly when she decided not to come here -- and today she came back and posted saying she is finally feeling better.   Could your hypothyroid condition be also causing some of what you are feeling? 

 

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direstraits

thanks for replying to me,Madeleine

 

I do need to get my thyroid checked...keep putting it off.

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Martina23

Direstraits, dont lose hope, you should have there someone who will give you hope, dont get on something. Can it be something other? Some women issue or so, hormons. I dont suffer that much anymore. But some intrusive thoughts + images I have still. So I am also not totally cured. But with three years out you should at least feel a bit better. Do you feel that at least something is better? Maybe you can do some kind journalling how you feel and make progress each day.

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direstraits

Hi,Martina

 

glad you're doing better...thanks for visiting my thread.

 

I do have better days but never feel like I did before this WD started...just getting so worn down ..

 

yesterday was really horrible..I probably should have stayed home but forced myself to go out to breakfast and then rode down to the shore..it was so hot and humid and there's no air in our truck...I was totally miserable and weak,just wanted to go back home....I did have trouble getting to sleep the night before b/c my back was aching so bad,but that went away.

 

anyway still feeling weak and miserable today....just feel like life is passing by and I'll never be well again.

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Martina23

What can I help you, swimming doesn't help or sport? I think you need to bring away this feeling weak and miserable. And you have to speak with someone, like to overcome this trauma from withdrawal. But surely sport or walking, relax and talking how you feel. 

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Flowers

Hi DS

 

Sending you a big hug! I know what these days are like when you are pushed to breaking point. We are only human and continual suffering is awful.

 

So unfair when we want to do something simple like take a ride out in the car but cannot even manage that. I hope that everyday is  not like that and you get some good days?

 

Do get your thyroid and anything else checked out just to make sure there isn't anything else going on that could make you feel this way. We sometimes are ready to assume it is all down to WD. 

 

I am thinking of you and hoping you have a good day soon.

 

Much love DS

 

Flowers xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

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direstraits

Flowers, thanks so much for your concern and kind words...:wub:  I really appreciate it.

I seem to be doing better today,thank  God...it's a crazy ride isn't it?

I really don't wanna go back on anything, I just get so desperate sometimes...I almost feel like I'm possessed by something, that I'm not myself,I holler at my husband and say awful things that I regret and then feel guilty about.

I'm lucky he's been so supportive and understanding through all this.

just have to keep hanging in there I guess and have faith that we will recover one day.

 

hope you're doing well.....much love and healing thoughts,ds   xoxo

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Flowers
49 minutes ago, direstraits said:

Flowers, thanks so much for your concern and kind words...:wub:  I really appreciate it.

I seem to be doing better today,thank  God...it's a crazy ride isn't it?

I really don't wanna go back on anything, I just get so desperate sometimes...I almost feel like I'm possessed by something, that I'm not myself,I holler at my husband and say awful things that I regret and then feel guilty about.

I'm lucky he's been so supportive and understanding through all this.

just have to keep hanging in there I guess and have faith that we will recover one day.

 

hope you're doing well.....much love and healing thoughts,ds   xoxo

Glad today is better.  Yes it is crazy - never knowing what each day will bring is more than crazy!

I feel just like you do sometimes when I feel at the end of my tether and everything gets on top of me. 

Your husband has been good to you  through this and will know it is not the real you having a go at him. 

 

I am in a peculiar pattern of two week waves and windows. Had a good window and now back in a wave. Just taking each day as it comes and trying to get through it.

 

We can help each other through this - 

 

Love from Flowers xxx

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