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direstraits

☼ direstraits: Paxil withdrawal

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direstraits

thanks for the support,guys....it means a lot to me.

Ijust wish someone could tell me how long this will last...it would be a lot easier to cope.

 

it's so easy to believe it will never end when you're feeling so bad but I have to believe it will someday.

 

healing thoughts to all,ds

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direstraits

woke up this morning with dull headache,queasy, drained feeling.

tried to eat a sandwich hubby made me,ate most of it....gonna try to get out for awhile.the weather's so nice today ,in the 70's.

so tired of sitting around here all the time...praying I get relief soon from this misery.....soooo tired.

 

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Littlegrandma

70? Nice!!

 

sorry you’re still struggling. I hope getting outside helps rejuvenate you. It’s been a long winter. 

Hugs lg

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direstraits

thanks,lg....went for a drive with hubby,

unfortunately the sun was really bothering my eyes,felt like I could hardly keep them open..:(

at least I got out for about an hour...the warm breeze felt nice.

 

hope you're doing OK?

ds   xx

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Littlegrandma

Hey DS

i know what you mean about the sun. Feels like it’s boring holes through the eyeballs. Glad you got out though. Wish you felt better!!

xx Lg

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direstraits

thanks,lg

we'll get there someday!

hopefully before we're too old and decrepit to enjoy anything...lol!

 

hugs,ds

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Littlegrandma

I sure hope so, but I’m kinda losing the faith. I think I’m going to be a long timer like you. I remember when I first read your thread when I was new to SA. I wondered then and now how you could have endured so long. Almost 9 mo. for me with such a long way to go. I seem to be going in the wrong direction. The physical symptoms are excruciating which make the emotional pretty difficult to handle. 

 

We keep plugging along!!

xx lg

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direstraits

yeah,it blows my mind to think I've been dealing with this for almost 4 years!

but it hasn't been all bad or else I don't know if I'd be here.

it seems like you've been able to do a lot even with all you're going through...you must be pretty strong.

just keep putting one foot in front of the other....you can do this!

hugs,ds

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Littlegrandma

Thanks DS

big hugs back to you  xx

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Downbutnotout
6 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

Thanks DS

big hugs back to you  xx

How are you doing little grandma? 

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Littlegrandma
29 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

How are you doing little grandma? 

Hey D

im really struggling. I had a few hour reprieve Sunday morning, then all hell broke lose. Body pain, pressure in head w/ pain, nausea and anxiety through the roof.

Etc etc  Getting pretty down. My grandkids just left. It was a long day. Never thought I’d make it through. 

 

How was was your visit with your grandson? I see you had a good hour while playing mahjong. Take it when we can get it. But I don’t go back to wave gradually. It just hits like a ton of bricks. Always such a letdown after you’ve had a brief respite and a reminder of what life used to be. 

 

How are are you feeling tonight?

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Downbutnotout
49 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

Hey D

im really struggling. I had a few hour reprieve Sunday morning, then all hell broke lose. Body pain, pressure in head w/ pain, nausea and anxiety through the roof.

Etc etc  Getting pretty down. My grandkids just left. It was a long day. Never thought I’d make it through. 

 

How was was your visit with your grandson? I see you had a good hour while playing mahjong. Take it when we can get it. But I don’t go back to wave gradually. It just hits like a ton of bricks. Always such a letdown after you’ve had a brief respite and a reminder of what life used to be. 

 

How are are you feeling tonight?

Oh I’m so sorry to hear that. Yesterday was horrendous for me. Either it was because I drank a lot of pop, took my trazadone later, took a piece out, and took my beads late. I also went to a counselor and did my whole wretched history. Right now I’m focused on all the negative because of my state of mind. It made me very uncomfortable. I had another counselor who I told this stuff years ago. 

 My visit with my grandson wasn’t bad. He is the only on both sides and is a little spoiled.  I tried to show love to him. If there was a way to get emotion back, I would pay anything. I had to chase him around to get dressed. He’s 4. I had 3 kids and never had to do that with them. They were all pretty self sufficient by 4. I don’t know how you can watch your grandchildren feeling as bad as you do. That says something about your character. 

The body pain, anxiety and nausea sounds so awful. I feel your pain. I can relate to the anxiety. I have it all the time. I did do better today than yesterday. I may try working out tomorrow. I used to love it, and did it all the time. I keep wondering if I should go back and try another antidepressant that might work. This site has made me afraid. And my last 3 experiences weren’t too good. I really don’t think I can tolerate another ssri. The only one that ever worked was effexor. I’m thinking it was the placebo effect, but how do I know for sure? If I knew that my brain would snap back without it, I wouldn’t even consider it. I’m just afraid of staying like this. It’s been 8 months of pretty consistent misery. And I’m doing it to myself. When you get a reprieve does the physical stuff stop, and you feel normal? 

 

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direstraits

the last week has been pretty awful...I've been getting a lot of pain in my left eye (where cataract was) it was mainly at night but now bothers me during the day too.

 

went for another check-up yesterday and vision is fine,he examined eye and it seems OK.asked about eye drops ,I said I was using Visine,he said they're not any good ,gave me a couple bottles he had for dryness.

 

today isn't too bad but still feel like something is in my eye....sometimes it will suddenly disappear and then it will return again...very frustrating!

 

I don't know if it's WD related or from the surgery? any body that can relate to this ?

it's really taken a lot out of me.

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Athena

Hey DS, how is that eye pain going? I don,t know but I figure if the pain started after the surgery and it,s where the cataract was, there is a good chance it will improve right?  Especially if it is sometimes disappearing, I would take it as a good sign. Just like the sleep; in my case, when I have a better night I try to take it as a sign that my body is still able to sleep and that one day I will sleep like I used to. And you will too!

 

Maybe the coming spring will help us with all that! I don't know how the winter has been down in NJ but up here it has been CRAZY: long, very cold, with a looot of snow. This weekend it is still -10/-15 degrees Celsius... I hope the milder temperatures will help our bodies heal.

 

Hang in there DS, I wish you a beautiful Sunday

 

Love,

Athena

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direstraits
5 minutes ago, Athena said:

Hey DS, how is that eye pain going? I don,t know but I figure if the pain started after the surgery and it,s where the cataract was, there is a good chance it will improve right?  Especially if it is sometimes disappearing, I would take it as a good sign. Just like the sleep; in my case, when I have a better night I try to take it as a sign that my body is still able to sleep and that one day I will sleep like I used to. And you will too!

 

Maybe the coming spring will help us with all that! I don't know how the winter has been down in NJ but up here it has been CRAZY: long, very cold, with a looot of snow. This weekend it is still -10/-15 degrees Celsius... I hope the milder temperatures will help our bodies heal.

 

Hang in there DS, I wish you a beautiful Sunday

 

Love,

Athena

so nice to hear from you again,Athena!

the  eye pain seems to be gone,thank God,probably was related to the surgery.

right now I'm dealing with a lot of anxiety and inner restlessness,weakness...ugh, sometimes feels like I'm back to square 1.

today is my daughter's 40th birthday,boy if that doesn't make you feel old. :o

if it wasn't for her and my dear grandson,don't know where I'd be.

 

well,we're expecting what could be our 4th noreaster in about the last 3 weeks...it's been crazy!

yeah,,,can't wait for spring!

 

sending healing thoughts to you.

 

wishing you a beautiful day,too.

 

love,ds   xx

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Happy2Heal

hi DR just popping in to say hi!

sorry to hear you're not feeling well,  I hope it passes quickly

 

looks like you're getting the storm that they are *now* saying that we will miss out on, I'm in NH and we were supposed to get hit with that one too

I'm glad that's changed (as of today at least, who knows what they will say tomorrow lol)

but it's been SO frikkin cold!

it won't even get UP to the freezing mark til noon on Tuesday

 

brrr! this is Jan. weather, for pete's sake

that can put anyone in a bad place lol

 

Happy 40th birthday to your daughter!! funny thing, my daughter turns 40 this summer, and yes that does make me feel old

lol

 

all the best to you,

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direstraits

thanksfor visiting,H2H !

Yeah,feeling pretty rough lately but hope fully it lifts soon.

 

you give me a lot of hope ,being on the drugs for over 40 years and almost healed,I was on and off for 20 years so hopefully not too much longer to go!

 

I hope the warmer weather will help things along....can't wait.

 

thanks for the bday wishes for my daughter...where does all the time go?

 

well,take care and keep warm!

 

love,ds

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direstraits

I'm doing really badly right now...this inner distress is driving me nuts,so weak, burning tingling skin,no appetite...forced down some scrambled eggs and toast this morning....God I'm so tired of dealing with this sh#t!

haven't showered for a week and doubt if I'll make it in there today...how anybody works during this is beyond me...

 

does everyone recover from this? can someone honestly tell me this will end someday?

sorry ,just feeling at the end of my rope right now...it's gone on too long..

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Happy2Heal

sorry you're feeling poorly

 

it does get better, it really does

 

hopefully this wave means you're going to land at a much higher level of "healing" or recovery and feel so much better 

 

 

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direstraits
8 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said:

sorry you're feeling poorly

 

it does get better, it really does

 

hopefully this wave means you're going to land at a much higher level of "healing" or recovery and feel so much better 

 

 

thanks H2H

I hope to God you're right.

I'm really scared right now and hopeless.

just thought I would be so much better at this point.

what the hell have they done to us?what a crime against humanity..I'm so ANGRY for all the suffering caused by Pharma.

I hope there is such a thing as karma.....OK,rant over.

xx

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AliG

D.~ there are times when it's not so good. Those are the times when you and I need to breathe and take a step back ...  It's going to be ok ~  we will get there... in the end

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direstraits

thanks,Ali  :wub:

xxx

 

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AliG

Much love  :wub:  Hang in there - it's going to be ok . I know that it goes on for far too long ~ but it does start to lift, eventually. It can be slow and tedious, with many steps back and forward, but you have to keep positive thoughts, always. It's the only way ...

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direstraits

thanks so much for all the support and encouragement you've given me,Ali.

I really appreciate it...xx

 

I don't think this dreadful winter is helping,another noreaster starting today,tomorrow will be the worst of it with up to a foot of snow,maybe more! and it's the first day of spring!

I got cabin fever, tired of being stuck in this apt.

hoping I'll see improvement when the weather gets warmer....someday :)

 

much love,ds

xxx

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Littlegrandma

Hi DS

Sorry doesn’t seem enough. I hate to hear you’re still struggling.  I’m rooting for you. Waiting to hear you say, any day now, that the $hit has lifted and you’re in a forever window. Keep hanging on. I think you must be the most patient person I’ve ever met. Your day is coming soon. You deserve it. 

 

Hugs xx Lg

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Littlegrandma

Does that sound a bit like a  hallmark greeting card?  Lol

i meant every word!!

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direstraits

oh, lg

so kind of you...I'm crying .....I'm such an emotional wreck.

I had a horrible day with the awful inner torment and fatigue but thankfully has begun to lift in the last half-hour or so.

WD is definitely not for sissies.:)

hope you're coping OK today.

 

much love and hugs,ds

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Athena

WD is not for sissies indeed!! If I had the energy you would have made me laugh outloud, instead I had a good internal laugh :P

 

I hope you are having a better day today, and I wish you a nice Easter weekend.

 

Athena xx

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powerback
On ‎20‎/‎03‎/‎2018 at 6:15 PM, direstraits said:

thanks H2H

I hope to God you're right.

I'm really scared right now and hopeless.

just thought I would be so much better at this point.

what the hell have they done to us?what a crime against humanity..I'm so ANGRY for all the suffering caused by Pharma.

I hope there is such a thing as karma.....OK,rant over.

xx

HI D sorry for your troubles ,I relate to a lot you say here from someone  in the prolonged withdrawl camp we will get our peace someday.

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direstraits
33 minutes ago, Athena said:

WD is not for sissies indeed!! If I had the energy you would have made me laugh outloud, instead I had a good internal laugh :P

 

I hope you are having a better day today, and I wish you a nice Easter weekend.

 

Athena xx

I'm glad I could make you laugh(even internally) :)

I got that line from Bette Davis who said "old age is not for sissies"

thankfully the day is turning out better after a rough morning; spring finally arriving helps I think,in the 70's today....feels nice.

 

wishing you a Happy Easter,too!

hugs,ds

xx

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direstraits
36 minutes ago, powerback said:

HI D sorry for your troubles ,I relate to a lot you say here from someone  in the prolonged withdrawl camp we will get our peace someday.

hey,thanks for visiting,pb

 

I've been reading your thread and have thought of posting on your thread before but didn't for some reason.:unsure: 

I can commiserate with much that you write and am so sorry to read of your suffering...It's a hellish condition but we WILL get our peace someday.

You're a lot younger than I am so you have that in your favor....hang in there.

 

take care,ds

 

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powerback
2 minutes ago, direstraits said:

hey,thanks for visiting,pb

 

I've been reading your thread and have thought of posting on your thread before but didn't for some reason.:unsure: 

I can commiserate with much that you write and am so sorry to read of your suffering...It's a hellish condition but we WILL get our peace someday.

You're a lot younger than I am so you have that in your favor....hang in there.

 

take care,ds

 

No worries thanks for reading ,my self critic doesn't think I'm that young ,its just full of you haven't done this or that yet and constantly compares with others ,sadly its always been like this ,only now I'm tortured by it ,coming of meds has released the demon from prison but hopefully Il  get it back in some day or at least try to  cohabit   together someway and call a truce .

Maybe the biggest obstacle in this whole journey is myself and my fragmented character was developed a very long time ago in adolescence who knows [bit deep there hey :D]

Take care 

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direstraits
3 minutes ago, powerback said:

No worries thanks for reading ,my self critic doesn't think I'm that young ,its just full of you haven't done this or that yet and constantly compares with others ,sadly its always been like this ,only now I'm tortured by it ,coming of meds has released the demon from prison but hopefully Il  get it back in some day or at least try to  cohabit   together someway and call a truce .

Maybe the biggest obstacle in this whole journey is myself and my fragmented character was developed a very long time ago in adolescence who knows [bit deep there hey :D]

Take care 

You have plenty of time to do what ever you want,I'm sure.

I guess most of us here have been damaged by bad parenting but we have to learn to love ourselves and take care of us first.

not easy but we're worth the effort.

you seem very sensitive and thoughtful...you're a good person.

I'm rooting for you to go on to have a happy and fulfilling life.

hugs,ds

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powerback
12 hours ago, direstraits said:

You have plenty of time to do what ever you want,I'm sure.

I guess most of us here have been damaged by bad parenting but we have to learn to love ourselves and take care of us first.

not easy but we're worth the effort.

you seem very sensitive and thoughtful...you're a good person.

I'm rooting for you to go on to have a happy and fulfilling life.

hugs,ds

HI D ye your not far off with your surmising of me ,but the demon inside me doesn't see the sensitivity as a positive but since ive been sober and learned more about myself I am accepting this part of me .if anything I'm a pathological over thinker .

I cant really fault my parents they did the best with what they had ,if anything this withdrawl process has taken me from them ,they don't see me anymore because withdrawl is causing so much trouble for me.hopefully in a year or two it will get better for me .

Thanks for your kind words D .happy  Easter to and be well .

 

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Flowers

Hi DS

 

So sorry things have not been easy for you lately.

 

I hope you feel better very soon.

 

Much love

 

Flowers xxx

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direstraits

thanks so much,Flowers

actually think I'm doing a little better the last couple days...mostly physical right now.

 

how are you doing?

 

hope you have a Happy Easter.

love and hugs,ds

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