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☼ direstraits: Paxil withdrawal

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Carmie
22 hours ago, direstraits said:

Hi Carmie

thanks for checking in.

had a pretty good day...we drove down to Smithville,a place that has lots of shops and restaurants,they were having an Italian festival and were really crowded.we walked around awhile and stopped for a hot dog then headed home stopping for ice cream along the way...beautiful day.

 

I'm sorry to read how much you've been suffering with the cfs but sounds like you've had some better times ,too.

wow,you were playing with a snake..yikes! we had one get in our apartment we used to live in...luckily our cat noticed it and we were able to call for help to have it removed.

 

well,I hope you have a good day and start feeling better.

 

sending big hugs ...ds

xxx

 

Hi direstraits, 

 

Your day sounded amazing, such fun! It is so good to get out n about when one can as it really does lift the spirits. I’m downthe Coast at my sister’s place still but I haven’t had a lot of strength to get out n about much. 

 

She’s got a nice backyard though and yesterday we sat out there doing crosswords n snacking. Yummy! I’ll be going out in the garden again today. I finished my hot air balloon diamond painting yesterday too. There were 28 colours and it took me forever but it was a nice distraction while in waves. I brought over a tiger one n a flower one too n my sister n nephew did those. They had around ten colours in them so could be finished in an afternoon.

 

Every time I come around here I come with a different craft for everyone to do. Last time I bought paints n canvases. Let’s see what it will be next time.😀 Today I’ll see how far I’ll get in crocheting my blanket. I’m making a friend a blanket in his footy colours. A great distraction.

 

Yes, you certainly have to be careful with snakes. The python I was playing with wasn’t venomous, though he was massive. I had a friend who used to own snakes too. I just find animals fascinating, they put a smile on my face. One has to try n get as many smiles as one can when going through withdrawals because withdrawals certainly aren’t a smiling matter. 

 

Take care n I hope you enjoy many more day trips 💚

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direstraits

had a dreadful night...woke around 1:30 am with the strangest feeling on my side like I felt itchy but I couldn't find where it was,it was extremely distressing and I felt like I could lose my mind!OMG how much can one take? I started to pray for help and my husband got me a magnesium and eventually did go back to sleep but still feeling pretty crappy this morning, lots of anxiety and inner vibrations.

was this akathisia do you think? still wonder if I'll ever feel like myself again.,so scared that I may be permanently damaged.😢

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direstraits

also, I took a Tylenol last night after we ran out of ibuprophen,could this have caused this?

any comments welcome.

xx

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Carmie
On 10/10/2018 at 2:25 AM, direstraits said:

had a dreadful night...woke around 1:30 am with the strangest feeling on my side like I felt itchy but I couldn't find where it was,it was extremely distressing and I felt like I could lose my mind!OMG how much can one take? I started to pray for help and my husband got me a magnesium and eventually did go back to sleep but still feeling pretty crappy this morning, lots of anxiety and inner vibrations.

was this akathisia do you think? still wonder if I'll ever feel like myself again.,so scared that I may be permanently damaged.😢

 

On 10/10/2018 at 3:32 AM, direstraits said:

also, I took a Tylenol last night after we ran out of ibuprophen,could this have caused this?

any comments welcome.

xx

 

Hi Direstraits, 

 

How are you doing today? Any more beach walks? Have you had any more of the night you describe above? I get akathisia but it’s something really hard to explain unless one has it. Has the itching gone?

 

I know that it can feel like we will never be ourselves again. We are still in there though despite all the pain we are going through. 

 

Im glad magnesium helped you get back to sleep. I haven’t tried using magnesium yet or fish oil but I’m sure I will at some stage. It’s in the back of my brain in the one day I will try this list. 

 

Wishing you a happy day☀️☀️☀️

 

 

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direstraits

thanks for stopping by, @Carmie

I feel terrible and I'm getting so tired of dealing with this day in and day out.I just never feel right and I don't believe I ever will at this point.

I'm sorry to be so negative but how much can one take.

I know how much you're suffering too and it breaks my heart.

 

it suddenly went from summer to winter here and I guess that's not helping either.

 

the strange itchy feeling has gone but still have plenty of other symptoms.

 

maybe you should try the magnesium,it might help.

 

I hope you have a better day today.

love,ds❤️🤗

 

 

 

 

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Carmie
1 minute ago, direstraits said:

thanks for stopping by, @Carmie

I feel terrible and I'm getting so tired of dealing with this day in and day out.I just never feel right and I don't believe I ever will at this point.

I'm sorry to be so negative but how much can one take.

I know how much you're suffering too and it breaks my heart.

 

it suddenly went from summer to winter here and I guess that's not helping either.

 

the strange itchy feeling has gone but still have plenty of other symptoms.

 

maybe you should try the magnesium,it might help.

 

I hope you have a better day today.

love,ds❤️🤗

 

 

 

 

 

Hi again direstraits, 

 

I’m so sorry you’re feeling so terrible at the moment. Yes, it certainly feels like it’s never going to end sometimes. I feel that having some direction in life outside of thinking about withdrawals helps me to keep going. We still have to lead some kind of life despite what we are going through. I think it’s really important not to stop living because of this horrific thing called withdrawals. 

 

I know it is extremely hard. I’ve been in survival mode lately but I’ve continued to do things that I am able to despite my limitations. I think I have this mindset because of the illness I’ve had for twenty four years. I’ve had to live within limitations for such a long time that I guess it’s an ingrained mechanism. 

 

I try and think of  what I can do instead of what I can’t do. I know it’s hard when you see all these people with great health n energy and without the horrors of withdrawals leading such active lives but comparing ourselves to others is not a good way to go. I try n think: what can I do for myself today?

 

At the moment I can barely stand up but an hour ago I was doing housework and other things. I have yet to have a shower but that’s next on the agenda when I have the strength to stand up again. I’ve got crafts I want to do today n I’m going to watch some DVDs or Netflix. 

 

It’s easy to feel guilty when you can’t do all the things you’re “supposed” to do. I think we need to get rid of a lot of the “shoulds.”

 

So, you’re in winter now. Do you get SAD? I have friends here that get depressed when we get a week of rain which isn’t very often. We have sunshine most of the year. Queensland is the Sunshine State☀️. I don’t get depressed at all when it’s raining, I love the rain, I sometimes walk in it. Major water freak here💦😀

 

Yes, I will definitely eventually get magnesium. I might check it out this week if my brain remembers. I don’t have a lot of brain power lately. Which magnesium are you taking and how much do you take? 

 

Sending hugs 🤗💚

 

 

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manymoretodays

Oh Dire.......I'm so sorry it's still so Dire.

 

Is it seasonal for you at all?  Just wondering as I do know many who tend to hit some tough stuff this time of year.

And oh brother, the outside light is getting less and less as we speak.......I mean in the daytime-evening. 

Have you ever tried a "Happy Lite".......:D:D:D........oh dear, I couldn't resist those smiley faces.......forgive me Dire.  Well, they look kind of like off color carved pumpkins.......so they are seasonal!!!  Anyway......I generally add a bit of "Happy Lite" to my regimen soonish here.  I have an old model from Costco.  I see they now carry smaller ones.  I use it at a distance and then sometimes when I'm doing fine, detailed work, of some kind, and just need really good lighting.  Some of the craft stores even carry lights that can be mood lifting.

 

Carmie,

I just use a Nature's way brand of Magnesium, citrate blend......capsules......so I can use partial capsules.  I often mix half a capsule, or even a third in a liter of water.  And then sip it. 

I'm also an Epsom Salt user, magnesium sulfate, which I also get at Costco cheaply.........I take baths in it.  Much less than they recommend, one or two handfuls.  Both of those work great for me if I'm feeling stressed.

 

Dire, I think you had told me that you used the Barlean's omega 3's(fish oil) that I've stuck with.  So....thank you, thank you.  I know for awhile I did not think I could tolerate fish oil and then was able to again.  So.  Well.  That.

 

(((((Direstraits)))))

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

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direstraits

:)thanks for stopping by, @Carmie and @manymoretodays

yesterday was really bad but think I feel  a little better this morning.

 

I don't think I have SAD.don't really feel depressed anymore, it's the WD symptoms that are unbearable at times,which I guess would be enough to make anyone depressed.😟

I think I have more anger than anything that this can happen to people and nobody gives a flying f.😠

 

Carmie,I take SlowMag magnesium,not with any regularity though.

 

mmt,I didn't recommend the fish oil but glad it works for you.:)

 

big hugs to you both!

xx

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Carmie

Hi direstraits, 

 

Thanks for popping by my thread. How are you coping, how is the weather there now? I hope it becomes sunny for you again soon so it picks up your spirits.

 

I don’t have much concentration this morning so I can’t read much today but I just wanted to say hi and I hope you cope as best as you can.

 

Sending hugs n sunshine your way🤗🤗☀️☀️

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direstraits

thanks Carmie,you're so sweet.

had my grandson here this morning and we took a nice long walk,I was surprised how much energy I had for a change.

today was cloudy and in the 50's F. supposed to be sunny and upper 60's F. for Halloween,looking forward to that!

 

sorry you're still struggling so much,hope you feel better soon.❤️

 

hugs and sunshine back to you! 🤗☀️ xxx

1 hour ago, Carmie said:

Hi direstraits, 

 

Thanks for popping by my thread. How are you coping, how is the weather there now? I hope it becomes sunny for you again soon so it picks up your spirits.

 

I don’t have much concentration this morning so I can’t read much today but I just wanted to say hi and I hope you cope as best as you can.

 

Sending hugs n sunshine your way🤗🤗☀️☀️

 

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direstraits

spiraled down yesterday into a very bad place..feeling self loathing, so much anger,feelings of worthlessness,not wanting to be here anymore...lots of crying.

my poor husband,how much more can he take...I don't wanna be like this anymore.

 

I think the election has me at my wits end..so scared for our country.😢

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coldturkmama

I try not to watch news or pay much attention to the Government. It’s all a crap storm lol 

just whatever will be will be, try not to get roped in.

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Carmie

Hi direstraits,

 

Im so sorry you are feeling so down n out. Sometimes we do need a good cry. 😢This journey certainly is hard. I just try n focus on an hour at a time n do what I can. I just finished my latest flower diamond painting of flowers💐 n a cuppa next to them. I only have one diamond painting left to do of an owl 🦉in winter with a scarf n hat on. He’s soooo cute. I did order another four off eBay though. They are pretty cheap on eBay. 

 

One must keep on finding distractions to get through this journey. Do you have anything lately that grabs your attention? Have you spent some more time with your grandson n gone for walks? I hope you continue to find some things that can help distract you.

 

I’m still deciding what to do next in the arts n crafts area. I used to do lots of crosswords too, I might start doing some again. I’ve got a crossword book here. I think I spent a year or two doing Words With Friends on my iPad while going through bad withdrawals. That was a great distraction too.

 

I bought this board game called Ticket To Ride 🚂 ages ago but I haven’t played it as yet. My friend has the American map one n I have the European map. You need to get the trains to their destination. This friend actually messaged me today n said I must come over some time n she’ll show me how to play it. I think two to four players can play. 

 

It must be very hard to be in protracted withdrawal. They will come to an end one day, although you’re probably thinking it’s never going to end. It will one day though n you can look back on this turmoil you’re going through n go: “Yay! I made it!” 

 

What symptoms have gotten better over time? That’s always something positive to focus on.

 

I know it’s probably cold where you are so I’m sending some sunshine your way☀️☀️☀️

 

 

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direstraits

thanks for writing to me @Carmie

it's been a rough week  but 'm hanging in there...I did have a decent day on Thursday when we drove down to Smithville and walked around a bit..I guess I'm just getting so worn down the longer it goes on.

 

I'm glad you're finding plenty of things to distract you...I love music ,too...it's helped me a lot through this mess.

 

the birds sound wonderful! I love them and all animals. love being out in nature ,too,it's so beautiful and comforting.

 

I love doing crossword puzzles though haven't done them lately.I have abook of them and a word search book my daughter got for me,have to get back into that.

 

as far as symptoms I think the best thing has been the depression has mostly gone which is pretty big deal!

 

thanks as always for your support and hope we both have better days ahead.

 

sending love and healing,ds

❤️🤗❤️🤗

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Carmie
On 11/11/2018 at 1:50 AM, direstraits said:

thanks for writing to me @Carmie

it's been a rough week  but 'm hanging in there...I did have a decent day on Thursday when we drove down to Smithville and walked around a bit..I guess I'm just getting so worn down the longer it goes on.

 

I'm glad you're finding plenty of things to distract you...I love music ,too...it's helped me a lot through this mess.

 

the birds sound wonderful! I love them and all animals. love being out in nature ,too,it's so beautiful and comforting.

 

I love doing crossword puzzles though haven't done them lately.I have abook of them and a word search book my daughter got for me,have to get back into that.

 

as far as symptoms I think the best thing has been the depression has mostly gone which is pretty big deal!

 

thanks as always for your support and hope we both have better days ahead.

 

sending love and healing,ds

❤️🤗❤️🤗

 

Hi Direstraits, 

 

Nice to hear that your depression is better, that must be a relief for you. Sorry you’ve had a rough week though, I’m with you there. Glad you had a decent day on Thursday, what’s at Smithsville?

 

I’m glad you like music too, Yes it certainly can help when going through withdrawals. I didn’t have the brain power to even watch DVDs today so it was music n crocheting. Crocheting is a no brainer, I just do the same stitch over n over making blankets. That has really been my go to when I’ve been in extreme waves. Good old wool! Another go to has always been editing photos. I can get so involved in that. 

 

I hope you enjoy your crosswords once you start doing them again, Im going to start doing them sometime in the future again too. My brainfog has just been so severe recently though. I’m a bit better tonight than I was today so I though I’d check in on SA. 

 

Sending sunshine your way☀️☀️☀️

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Flowers

Hi DS

 

So sorry you have been going through it again.  It was good you got a great day for your drive to Smithville.  If your depression has lifted that has got to be a good thing too.

 

I know it is hard with this just going on and on.  I am getting bad anxiety late in the afternoon/evening  -  Just got to take one day at a time.  

 

I am sending my love and hugs as always.

 

Flowers xxx

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direstraits

thank you so much @Flowers

really needed this right now....bad day

 

love and hugs back to you.

xxx

 

 

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Flowers
1 hour ago, direstraits said:

thank you so much @Flowers

really needed this right now....bad day

 

love and hugs back to you.

xxx

 

 

We will get there DS . 

 

Thinking of you.

 

Hugs

 

xxxx

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direstraits

❤️🤗

hope you're doing OK.

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direstraits

went to the movies today with my daughter and grandson...today was his 7th birthday...was so worried how I would feel but thankfully did OK...PHEW!

 

hadn't been to a movie in 3 years. 

 

thankful for small victories.😊

 

hope all are coping OK.

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wantrelief

Oh wow, DS....that is great you were able to go to the movies with your family - that sounds like a pretty big victory to me!  

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direstraits

thanks @wantrelief

hope you have a good day. ❤️

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Flowers

Hi DS

 

How lovely that you got to the cinema with your family.  You did well as dipping our toes in the water again can be quite daunting. Hope these good days continue for you.

 

Love Flowers xxx

 

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direstraits

Thanks @Flowers for your continuing support.🤗

 

hope you're doing well.

 

take care,ds.

❤️

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Carmie

Hi direstraits, 

 

Just popping in to see how you’re doing.💚

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direstraits
2 hours ago, Carmie said:

Hi direstraits, 

 

Just popping in to see how you’re doing.💚

thanks for stopping by , Carmie

lots of anxiety this morning but I guess I've been worse.

hope you're coping OK. ❤️

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coldturkmama

hope You are doing well :) 

anxiety is just the worst!

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direstraits
11 hours ago, coldturkmama said:

hope You are doing well :) 

anxiety is just the worst!

thanks so much ,ctm

a little bit of a meltdown on Thanksgiving but hanging in there...have to watch my grandson later today, hoping  I get through OK.

hope you're doing well.

xx

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coldturkmama

I’m doing better!! :) I was having a hard time but things have settled down. 

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direstraits
12 hours ago, coldturkmama said:

I’m doing better!! :) I was having a hard time but things have settled down. 

that's wonderful, ctm!

 

I had a good day with my grandson,he was such a good boy...he's the light of my life.❤️

don't know where I'd be without him and my daughter.

 

Love and healing to all, ds 

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manymoretodays

Hi Dire,

So good to hear of your good days and time with your grandson!

Happy gratitude and holidays!

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

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direstraits
22 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi Dire,

So good to hear of your good days and time with your grandson!

Happy gratitude and holidays!

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

thank you,mmt.

hope you had a good holiday.

take care,ds

xx 

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Carmie

Hi Direstraits,

 

How are you doing? I’m sorry to hear your anxiety has been bad n you had a bit of meltdown. I’m sure we all know those meltdowns very well. Everything just gets too much n we become totally overwhelmed, and those nasty neuro - emotions take over n we don’t even recognise ourselves at times. We really want ourselves back, don’t we? Where on earth have we disappeared to at times? This isn’t us at all!

 

That’s lovely you had fun with your grandson. I hope you have many more of such lovely occasions.

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

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direstraits

thanks for stopping by, @Carmie

yes, we really aren't ourselves in WD and it scares the hell out of me sometimes, having no  control over my emotions or thoughts at times.

I just want to be myself again,I'm not even sure who that is anymore.😧

 

I hope you're feeling a little better.

sending hugs back.🤗💙

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Carmie
5 minutes ago, direstraits said:

thanks for stopping by, @Carmie

yes, we really aren't ourselves in WD and it scares the hell out of me sometimes, having no  control over my emotions or thoughts at times.

I just want to be myself again,I'm not even sure who that is anymore.😧

 

I hope you're feeling a little better.

sending hugs back.🤗💙

 

Hi direstraits, 

 

Yes, it’s definitely weird. It’s like our minds are being controlled at times n we can’t do anything about it. I think when in bad waves we need to be kind to ourselves n rest more n don’t expect too much of ourselves. Just go with the flow, or as Claire Weekes says accept the feelings and just float with them.

 

If we try n fight against them we just become worse. We can’t fight withdrawals because they are physiological. We can’t think our way out of them, no amount of positive thinking will get rid of anhedonia for instance. 

 

We just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other n keep doing things to distract ourselves during this process. My latest project is making wooden bookmarks. I buy the jumbo popsicle sticks, paint them n write and draw on them. I drill holes in them n add jute string. It kept me sane yesterday. I’m going through really bad waves. 

 

Yes, it’s all a very scary process. People who haven’t gone through withdrawals have absolutely no idea how horrific they are. 

 

Here’s to this roller coaster ride eventually stopping. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

 

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direstraits

I was just reading your thread and I'm so sorry you're suffering like this, @Carmie

I hope you get some relief very soon.

much love and hugs,ds

❤️🤗

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