direstraits: Paxil withdrawal

[Vonnegutjunky]

Hi Dire, just read all of your thread....whew! It’s long! Lol 

 

My waves and windows are very similar to yours, just more emotional than anything, just wondering do you think any of it is menopause? I was thrown into an early menopause, and I have not really had any hormone therapy or anything, just wondering if think some of this extended rollercoaster of emotions could be hormonal? 

[direstraits]

wow...I give you a lot of credit for that!

 

well, I went through instant menopause at 51 when I had a total hysterectomy.I'm 64 now,so that's way behind me.although to be honest I felt it ruined my sex life with my husband.

I did have HRT for awhile after but don't know if it did much.this was all happening while going on and off the ADs so was a difficult time.

 

I think I might have akathisia,I get this horrible inner agitation that makes me feel like I'm losing my mind and rageful.

I awoke with it early this morning,it was awful,took a magnesium and was able to go back to sleep a couple hours later.

I just never feel right and worry I never will at this point,maybe it's just a long wave I'm in,it's been mostly bad since February.

I'll be off 5 years in May...I just want to be done with this,I'm exhausted.

 

take care,ds

❤️

[Vonnegutjunky]

I completely understand how you feel - I never feel right either - Akathisia can be difficult - I got it from being on the Paxil - I’m sure once I’m off I’m get it there too - 

 

i have seen on Facebook many women in menopause struggle for what seems like an extended time - I just wonder if this plays a role in extending the withdrawal- 

 

sending you positive thoughts ❤️

[direstraits]

4 hours ago, Vonnegutjunky said:

I completely understand how you feel - I never feel right either - Akathisia can be difficult - I got it from being on the Paxil - I’m sure once I’m off I’m get it there too - 

 

i have seen on Facebook many women in menopause struggle for what seems like an extended time - I just wonder if this plays a role in extending the withdrawal- 

 

sending you positive thoughts ❤️

I was on Paxil too,it has to be the worst drug ever..

 

I've heard of women in their eighties still getting hot flashes so who knows what is happening as far as menopause goes.😕  

I guess I'm too old for hormones now?

I'm also thinking of getting my thyroid checked again.

 

thanks for the positive thoughts...same to you.xx

[Carmie]

Hi direstraits, 

 

Hope you’re coping okay, sending hugs🤗

[direstraits]

7 hours ago, Carmie said:

Hi direstraits, 

 

Hope you’re coping okay, sending hugs🤗

Hi Carmie

still feeling pretty rough...had loose bowels again this morning,don't know if it's infection or WD,I'm so confused...and so tired.

waiting to hear back from Dr. on getting thyroid checked again.

 

hope you're coping OK,sending hugs back.🤗

[Gridley]

42 minutes ago, direstraits said:

.had loose bowels again this morning,don't know if it's infection or WD

 

Of course I can't know if you have an infection, but diarrhea is a common WD symptom.

[direstraits]

23 hours ago, Gridley said:

Of course I can't know if you have an infection, but diarrhea is a common WD symptom.

thanks for your response,Gridley.

 

this is the worst I've been in a while...the internal agitation [akathisia?]is driving me nuts.

not too bad right now,but last night and early this morning was almost unbearable..gonna try Epsom salts bath.

it has to get better,right?🙏

[Gridley]

42 minutes ago, direstraits said:

it has to get better,right?

 

Yes, it will get better.  There will be waves and windows, but you will get increasingly better.  It can take longer than we'd like but it will come.  

[direstraits]

1 minute ago, Gridley said:

 

Yes, it will get better.  There will be waves and windows, but you will get increasingly better.  It can take longer than we'd like but it will come.  

thanks for the encouragement.

I just thought that after almost 5 years off I would be feeling so much better than this but I know it took Alto about 8 years to recover.

 

God give me the strength to keep going.🙏

[Carmie]

Hi direstraits, 

 

How are you doing? Has your diarrhoea subsided? Was it an infection, or was it withdrawals? I get it from withdrawals sometimes too. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

[Carmie]

Hope you’re doing okay direstraits.💚

[direstraits]

5 hours ago, Carmie said:

Hope you’re doing okay direstraits.💚

thanks,Carmie

I've been struggling a lot lately...lot of anxiety, fatigue,anhedonia,disturbed sleep,vision problems etc.

this is such an isolating experience,no one around you can really understand it.

I'll be drug free for 5 years in couple weeks.maybe that will be a turning point.🙏

 

I know you're having a difficult time too,I'm so sorry.

you still manage to do so much,you're so strong.

 

I hate seeing so much suffering here too.it overwhelms me sometimes.

 

here's to better days ahead for all of us!❤️

[Carmie]

Hi Direstraits, 

 

I’m sorry you’re still struggling so much. Yes, this journey really is a sad journey, there is so much suffering. I still try to look at the positives in my life though. Anhedonia has been pretty bad lately, but I continue to do things I love, even if I’m feeling numb. Neroli has started writing down what she’s grateful for, there are still many things to be grateful for despite the torture we are going through. 

 

I’m going to a show tonight at the Performing Arts Centre, which will be nice. It’s a Whitney Houston show by a South African singer, Belinda Davids. I’ve seen her before, she’s amazing. The music is such happy music. Last time my friends and I couldn’t stay seated the whole concert. We had to get up and dance.💃 The Show was down the Gold Coast, I’m not sure if we can stand up in our chairs at the Arts Centre. I’ve been to there heaps of times, but they weren’t events one would dance to, so we’ll see.

 

Yes, definitely direstraits, here’s to better days ahead.💚

[direstraits]

I hope you have a wonderful time at the concert, @Carmie!

 

I had abetter night last night,no anxiety or inner agitation,think I feel calmer this morning,hope I'm going into a window now.🙏

the last few weeks have been h*ll.😩

 

gonna try and get out for a walk,it's a beautiful day here.☀️

[Carmie]

So glad to hear you had a better night and morning direstraits, 

 

I hope you have many more of those. 💚

 

 

[direstraits]

didn't last long,carmie

I just don't know how much longer I can do this ...the inner agitation and anxiety is almost unbearable...had to leave a restaurant last night before we could order because I felt so horrible,so shaky inside,couldn't think straight,wanted to run out screaming(but didn't).

also I hadn't eaten much all day,maybe that had something to do with it.

 

this is torture living like this for 5 years,if it wasn't for my family I don't know if I'd still be here.

I don't know what to do anymore...I'm so exhausted and hopeless and angry.

 

thanks for your enduring support.💙

[Carmie]

Hi direstraits, 

 

I’m really sorry. I do know that feeling like you have to get away and can’t stay in a certain place, it happens when I have bad akathisia. It’s like you’re not in control of yourself. Fortunately I’ve been able to keep the akathisia to a minimum by tapering slowly. 

 

Yes, five years is certainly a long time to be in protracted withdrawal. I really am sorry. Alto had the same thing happen to her, but she did eventually recover. There is no quick fix unfortunately. It’s just trying to get through a minute at a time some days. 

 

Sending lots of hugs your way🤗

 

[Gracee]

You are having good days.   Use them as reminders that there will be more of them.    

[Carmie]

1 minute ago, Gracee said:

You are having good days.   Use them as reminders that there will be more of them.    

 

Well said Gracee 💚

[direstraits]

thanks,Carmie and Gracee

think I feel a bit better this morning,last night I was very itchy all over again but it went away.

 

I'm glad you enjoyed the show,Carmie.💙

hugs to both of you.🤗🤗

[direstraits]

this month has been the worst,will it ever end...I was able to get out for dinner last night but today feel bad as ever,so so sick.

 

anybody else out there feeling so bad after 5 years off the drugs?

 

I thought windows were supposed to get longer and waves milder as time goes on,don't see that happening.

 

does everyone really heal?

 

feel like my life is over.😪

[luv2knit]

I'm so sorry, DS.  I'm right there with you!  Coming up on 5 years off the end of July, and the last several weeks have been rough, with the akathisia being at an intensity I have not had for quite a while, and other symptoms worse as well.  I don't really have what I consider to be "windows and waves", but I've heard others who have healed say their last wave was the worst--so perhaps that is something to hold on to... I'm trying to see it that way anyway. 

 

Praying things improve for you soon!!

 

XOXO

 

[direstraits]

thank you,thank you for your post,luv...I'm just sobbing right now...it's been so hard lately.

 

somehow I managed to watch my grandson yesterday, even took a walk with him but today I'm paying for it.

 

so sorry you're suffering,too.it's just horrible how this goes on and on,isn't it?

9 hours ago, luv2knit said:

I've heard others who have healed say their last wave was the worst--so perhaps that is something to hold on to... I'm trying to see it that way anyway. 

you gave me hope reading this,thank you.

 

thanks for your prayers,praying for you ,too.

🙏🤗❤️

[powerback]

On ‎4‎/‎30‎/‎2019 at 9:38 PM, direstraits said:

this month has been the worst,will it ever end...I was able to get out for dinner last night but today feel bad as ever,so so sick.

 

anybody else out there feeling so bad after 5 years off the drugs?

 

I thought windows were supposed to get longer and waves milder as time goes on,don't see that happening.

 

does everyone really heal?

 

feel like my life is over.😪

💚🙏.sorry to hear its so rough lately DS .Total respect to you .we always seem to find the strength .

Take care.

[direstraits]

3 minutes ago, powerback said:

💚🙏.sorry to hear its so rough lately DS .Total respect to you .we always seem to find the strength .

Take care.

yes we do somehow....thanks for your support.❤️

keep hanging on.🙏

 

[Carmie]

Thinking of you,💚

[direstraits]

thanks ,Carmie 

feeling a little better lately..have been sleeping better,guess that helps...not as much inner agitation ,thank God.

We keep going,what else can we do?

 

hope you're doing a bit better?❤️

[direstraits]

was feeling pretty good Monday, that morning saw ants in the kitchen and sprayed them, then yesterday started feeling awful again,still feeling bad today.

do you think I could be reacting to the bug spray?

 

I feel like these drugs all poisoned us like bugs.😩

[coldturkmama]

It’s probably possible but could just be coincidence.

its funny you say that though because when I was ON antidepressants I felt like a numbed out sprayed bug. I used to say that all the time lol 

[direstraits]

Hi @coldturkmama!

thanks for your response,how are you?

I started feeling better after taking an Epsom salts bath yesterday,I recommend them for anxiety.

went for a nice ride with my husband in our new Jeep with the top off,beautiful sunny day felt wonderful.😊.

 

 

[coldturkmama]

3 hours ago, direstraits said:

Hi @coldturkmama!

thanks for your response,how are you?

I started feeling better after taking an Epsom salts bath yesterday,I recommend them for anxiety.

went for a nice ride with my husband in our new Jeep with the top off,beautiful sunny day felt wonderful.😊.

 

 

 

Im doing okay. I’ve had lots of anxiety lately so it sucks. Ughhh 

[direstraits]

34 minutes ago, coldturkmama said:

 

Im doing okay. I’ve had lots of anxiety lately so it sucks. Ughhh 

sorry about the anxiety.

I just started feeling worse again the last few hours,the internal torture,when will it end.😧

 

take care,ds💙

[coldturkmama]

2 hours ago, direstraits said:

sorry about the anxiety.

I just started feeling worse again the last few hours,the internal torture,when will it end.😧

 

take care,ds💙

 

I wish  knew

i have been having a lot of physical symptoms of anxiety. I’m not impressed.

[Carmie]

On 5/24/2019 at 12:02 AM, direstraits said:

Hi @coldturkmama!

thanks for your response,how are you?

I started feeling better after taking an Epsom salts bath yesterday,I recommend them for anxiety.

went for a nice ride with my husband in our new Jeep with the top off,beautiful sunny day felt wonderful.😊.

 

 

 

Hi direstraits, 

 

Glad you’re finding the epsom salt baths beneficial, and that you had fun on your drive. I’m looking forward to a drive to the mountains tomorrow with friends. Also going to a bird park. Yay!

 

Sending hugs 🤗

[direstraits]

On 5/25/2019 at 6:23 AM, Carmie said:

 

Hi direstraits, 

 

Glad you’re finding the epsom salt baths beneficial, and that you had fun on your drive. I’m looking forward to a drive to the mountains tomorrow with friends. Also going to a bird park. Yay!

 

Sending hugs 🤗

Hi Carmie,

nice to hear from you.hope you're feeling a little better.

hope you enjoy your drive to the mountains and the bird park,sounds like fun.

 

hugs back to you.🤗