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☼ Ramsnic: Effexor ruined my marriage


Ramsnic

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  • Mentor

Yes, and sadly, where I live, a trip to hospital, with my history, would mean instant administration of drugs, and locked in....... Sometimes, it is necessary to reinstate some low dose of the drug you were previously on, if necessary, to cope this hell.  It worked for me   luckily it was only one drug I needed to go back on.  I had to try it for a week in different dosages to get it it right.  Dont give up.
 

Edited by Petu
removed unnecessary long quote

1992 Dothiepin 375mg 8 weeks, exhaustion/depression.  Serotonin syndrome, oh yes!  seizures . Fell pregnant, 3rd baby, Nitrous Oxide, 3 weeks mental hospital pp psychosis. zoloft tegretol.

Feb 1996 ct tegretol, tapered Zoloft 8 weeks. as (unexpectedly)  pregnant. Steven died after 3 days.(Zolft HLHS baby).  98 had run in with Paxil, 2 tablets, 3 weeks taper, survived.
2005..menopause? exhausted again. Zyprexa, mad in three days, fallout....  Seroquel, Effexor, tegretol,   and 8 years of self destruction. Failed taper.
Damn 1/4 valium... nuts again! .fallout, zoloft 100mg  seroquol 400mg mirtazapine 45 mg  tegretol 400mg.  Mid 14 3 month taper. Nov 14 CRASH.
Mid 15 ....   75mg  seroquel,  3 x 1800mg SJW  2 week window end of December followed by 6 week wave
5/2 68mg seroquel, 2.5 x 1800mg SJW::::20/2 61mg seroquel, 2.5 x  SJW::: 26/2 54mg seroquel, 2 x SJW::::21/3 43mg seroquel, 1 x 2700SJW :::: 23/4 36mg seroquel 1 x 1800 SJW
15/5 33mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::   28/5 30mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::;  18/6 25mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::::, 11/7 21mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::, 26/7 18mg seroquel 1/2 SJW:::, 9/8 12mg seroquel :::, 16/8 6mg seroquel ;;;;, 12/9 0 jump.

23/9  3mg.....,  27/9 0mg.  Reinstated, 6mg, then 12mg.............  LIGHTBULB MOMENT,  I have  MTHFR 2x mutations.  CFS and issues with MOULD in my home. So I left home, and working 150km away during week, loving it.

Oh was hard, panic attacks first week, gone now, along with the mould issues.

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  • 2 months later...
 

Please someone I need help as I am about to tell my wife I am leaving her...


 


My wife had a really bad case of postpartum depression and was hospitalized for a month in February 2014.  They prescribed Effexor and by the end of April 2014 she was back to normal and life was bliss.  By Sept / Oct of 2014 I started to notice changes in her personality that match what I have been reading in all the posts above.  Exaggerated behaviour, extreme highs and lows, extreme aggression, lack of focus, sketchy personality and mannerisms.  She started smoking cigarettes (half a pack a day) and weed (every 2 hours).  She shoplifts from stores because she gets a high from it and has for some reason gotten into 3 car accidents in the last few weeks.  She has been unfaithful, has had an affair with at least 2 men (from what I know) and has no real remorse or empathy at all.  Ive hacked her phone as there is no trust between us at all and saw all the messages (deleted and undeleted) she has sent to people / guys I dont know, talking about me and our marriage like it doesnt mean anything at all, like Im a joke.  That was the worst part, when I read those messages I knew that this was not the same person or I was conned into marrying a monster.  We've been married for only 2 years. 


 


All her family and friends notice this change and Im at the end of my rope.  I cant trust her with our 1 year old daughter as I am afraid that she will have an episode / tantrum / freak out moment and hurt her.


 


In 48 hours I am about to sit her down and tell her that Im taking our daughter and leaving her.  I have read the posts and am sympathetic for sure but I have to protect myself, my sanity and most importantly my daughter.  I feel like I have been using the information in these posts as a crutch to excuse her for this behaviour but how can a drug make you lose all sight of right and wrong like this?  My main concern is that she didnt start acting like this until she was on the drug for 6 - 7 months.  Usually when you take medication you should start seeing these effects soon after no?


 


I should add that this is her second marriage.  During her first marriage she cheated on her husband as well which caused it to end.  She said she was young and was pressured to marry through family but I just dont know anymore.  Did I marry a monster that was just hiding all this inside all this time?  Or is this another case of Effexor gone bad?  Is it possible for her to start this kind of behaviour after 6 - 7 months of taking the drug?  Am I just fooling myself?


 


Please someone help, I have 2 days to make my decision and I dont want to break up my family and what I thought was the perfect marriage...I thought I was with my soul mate.


 


Bitter


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Oh and one more thing...

 

Ramsnic, how are you doing?  Youre last post was from December 2014 and Id really like to know how you feel now?  I hope and pray that you are safe and happy!

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Hey Bitter.

 

I've replied to your other post in marriages destroyed by SSRIS too.

 

I'm doing great now!

I got off it on the 7th November and went to hell trying to deal with what I'd done while in this drug.

In December I contenplated taking my life. It was a horrific time. Waking up to the pain and suffering I'd caused my family was unbarable but then I saw a specialist who told me to change my diet (stop eating wheat, soya, sugar and dairy) as depression is caused through food allergies.

I did what he said and take loads of vitamins. I have allergies to most foods which I found was hidden by the tablets. Anyway since changing my diet snd taking vitamins I feel amazing. Probably healthier than before I got unwell all those years ago.

I never thought I'd live again but I work full time again and my life's amazing. I thank God daily for giving me back my life. My X husband is a good friend. I have had to accept I lost him through this but at least we are friends.

 

I pray you fight harder than he did and get her off this poison. She is your wife behind this horrific drug.

I did things I cannot bare to think about but at least now I'm free.

 

God bless. X

Effexor Free. Day 1. 25/09/14

7 years and today I can see what I did snd it's hard to live with.

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  • Administrator

Very happy to hear you're doing better. I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol

 

 

to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 3 months later...

Update. It's been 6 months and everyday got better and better. I took supplements as listed above, somewhere, for 2 months. But the main things that helped was eliminating wheat!! I don't eat wheat dairy soya and only a little sugar. This got rid of the foggy feeling in my brain. I started to have energy and to live again. Things seemed pointless before but once I stopped feeding my brain junk food and chemical infused processed food nothing upset me to the point I couldn't cope. I manage stress like everyone else now. I still feel sad about what I did on that medication but I try not to dwell.

I'm happy to share my story to help others. I'm honestly recovered from that poison.

If your going through withdrawal take it really slowly. The suicidal thoughts came with withdrawal but for the grace of God I survived. You will too. X

Effexor Free. Day 1. 25/09/14

7 years and today I can see what I did snd it's hard to live with.

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That's great to hear..what vitamins are they?

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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Sorry I see it now..wow that's a lot of stuff..are you still taking them?

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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I took the vitamins for 2 month to boost my system while I. Changed my diet. Now I get goodness from food only.

Don't let the list of vitamins put you off. All j can say is I have my life back better than it was before but I believe that's through good diet.

Effexor Free. Day 1. 25/09/14

7 years and today I can see what I did snd it's hard to live with.

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i bought a book called optimum health and it listed all the vitamins and foods you should eat.

Everything I read I did. How can diet be so detrimental to our mind.... Look at the chemicals in it and you see why.

 

Hormones in milk from what they pump in the animal to get it to produce more and more.

 

Hormones in meet used to fatten it up to slaughter.

 

Chemicals used to make food last longer.

Processed foods that have no goodness in them.

 

I had all my vitamins checked by the doctor and I was down on all of them before.

People with depression generally are low on Vit D.

The list in one of my comments above shows what I took to boost my system. I was nervous taking them all each day but I can't tell you what it feels like to wake early and have energy to do things. Anyway I hope this is useful. God bless x

Effexor Free. Day 1. 25/09/14

7 years and today I can see what I did snd it's hard to live with.

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  • Administrator

Yes, what we eat can make a big difference.

 

How are you feeling now, withdrawal-wise?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 1 year later...

Update. It's been 2 years and I'm healthy and happy. I eat no processed food and take the odd suppliement.

I have learnt to live with what happened to me on those tablets. I can't change it.

I just pray for those going through withdrawal that they don't give up. Get off this poison and get your mind back.

Effexor Free. Day 1. 25/09/14

7 years and today I can see what I did snd it's hard to live with.

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Hi Ramsnic,

 

Thanks for posting this, its been two years since Ive communicated with you and in my situation, I was the husband.  I was about to leave my wife as she was going through the same symptoms as you were with Effexor.  

 

Its been 2 years, my wife and family are together and my wife is now completely drug / anti depressant free and like you, follows a strict diet with the help from supplements.  I am sorry for the pain that you have gone through and I am thrilled that you are back to a happy state in your life..  I have to say that if it wasnt for you I would have given up on my wife and left her in a really bad place.

 

Thanks for sharing your story, it has had a huge impact on us and kept our family together.

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Wow Bitter!!

 

I'm so pleased you stayed with your wife and have made it!

Not many people survive this.

I'm delighted to read your message!

I read back and it sounded like you went to hell and back in your relationship. I'm so pleased my story helped you both.

I'm sure it hasn't been easy but well worth the fight. Especially for your little child.

 

Lovely to hear good news came from my sharing my experience. I hope many more people read and share their stories.

 

God bless you and your family. X

Effexor Free. Day 1. 25/09/14

7 years and today I can see what I did snd it's hard to live with.

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Great story well done.

I am off all meds 16 months I had been on olanzapine, Effexor zanex and assorted sleeping meds for approx 2 years.

Weaned off 375 mg effexor over two years, I had previously come off xanax, rivotrill and olazapine. Reinstated 75mg of effexor on the 22/12/16

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  • 1 year later...

I know this is old but I hope someone answers. A 16 months ago my childhood sweetheart and best friend wife and mother of my children was having a lot of stress at her new job, she went to a dr and they prescribed her Effexor... two months later she told me she didn’t love me anymore and hadn’t for a while. She started dating online and working two weeks met a stranger in a hotel... she started smoking weed and just all completely out of character. Was even mean and hurtful to me... 3 months later she had a break down and said it was the pill and she loved me and she would never leave me told my family hers everyone it was the pill. She checked herself into a psychiatric ward to get off...72 hours later they sent her home with Prozac.... they said she could use it to ween off... for 4 months I had my best friend back... her dr moved to a new state and her new dr prescribed her clonazepan and trazadone to help with the insomnia. Within 3 weeks the problems started.... completely numb. Emotionless. All her daily activity came to a haunt. She began to blame me for ever problem she had and kicked me out... she could care less what happens to me:::: I’ve sent her numerous articles again. Because the person I am speaking to now isn’t my wife. It is just a shell of her once again... she has began to ween off the Prozac because she wants to prove to me it’s not the drug and she is making the decisions but all the signs of the drug are there even some of the Effexor behavior, dating,drug use, lack of emotion toward our children, no remorse for her actions. My question is how long until she snaps out of it like last time? Is she has stopped cold turkey off of 20mg Prozac... which I think made all the symptoms intensify because she won’t ween off. And does the fact that she is still taking the clonazepan and trazadone matter? I know that this isn’t my wife. The change came to rapid and all the warning signs were there. And I have already been here once.

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Hey. It's so sad to read your experience. The only option is to get her off the medication. 

I had to undergo a full lifestyle change. 

I changed my diet and removed all processed food and allegins as theyre linked to depression and anxiety. 

I don't take any form of medication. 

I do take natural supplements like St Johns Wort if I feel down or anxious. I recently lost my father and this option is helping loads. 

I'm praying for you both. May God give her the insight to know the tablets are ruining her life. If she gets off them she will see the horrific change in her personality and behaviour. Please let her read this whole thread. Let her see what I lost and maybe it will help her see she had to reduce the tablets. She must reduce slowly and expect to feel very very depressed (the withdrawal effect) but she will get through it. Then change her diet. 

God bless you xx 

Effexor Free. Day 1. 25/09/14

7 years and today I can see what I did snd it's hard to live with.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to ☼ Ramsnic: Effexor ruined my marriage

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