luv2knit

[chicken]

I will tell u this site makes me worse sometimes. Ruminating. And I would be better off if I never read anything by Dr. Shipko. Too much information is never good.

Yes, according to George Orwell,  sometimes ignorance is bliss

[luv2knit]

Exactly, Chicken!

[luv2knit]

I'm either coming down with something, or am in a really bad wave.  My bad days seem to be coming more frequently, instead of further apart.  I've had bad insomnia since the withdrawal started, only getting a few hours of sleep a night for almost three months.  The last few nights, I have barely gotten any sleep at all.  There is nothing I can take, because I have paradoxical reactions to everything.  I tried to drink chamomile tea the other day that was made with dried chamomile leaves.  The first cup was OK, and in fact seemed to take the edge off the akathisia a little.  Drank another cup before bed, hoping it would help with sleep, and it backfired.  After that, I had a decent day, and a tolerable day, but got up this morning--after having panic attacks throughout the night--totally exhausted.  The nausea is back, I hurt all over, and am visibly shaking.  Thought I was past some of this.  This has been a really bad day, both mentally and physically!  Praying for some sleep tonight, and a better day tomorrow:(  

 

Those of you with akathisia--does the windows/waves pattern apply to this as well?  It seems like most of the accounts of akathisia I have seen, it just sort of gradually gets better, instead of the windows and waves?!  Is this the case?

[Wildflower0214]

I wish I had answers for u! But I am praying for u!!!

 

I think you are right about it fading over time.

[luv2knit]

Thanks, JDM. Certainly need those prayers. If it does just fade with time instead of following the windows and waves pattern, mine seems to be different.

[Rhiannon]

I think pretty much everything follows the windows and waves pattern to some extent. Definitely have seen many people have that with akathisia, better times and worse times. Pretty normal. 

[luv2knit]

Thank you, Rhi! That makes me feel better!

[Wildflower0214]

How ya doin?

[luv2knit]

Hanging in there, JDM, thanks. I think I am coming down with a virus on top of everything else. I had a decent day yesterday, though. How about you?

[Wildflower0214]

Hanging in there, JDM, thanks. I think I am coming down with a virus on top of everything else. I had a decent day yesterday, though. How about you?

Well, I'm dealing with an ativan interdose WD situation I think. But, nearly difficult to tease it out from the Effexor WD. So, I had to start another thread in the Benzo section. Lol fun times. I spent all day arguing with compounding pharmacists who didn't want to take the miniscule dose I'm on and split it up into four separate doses.

 

I also asked my APN who I saw today why she was pushing me to get off the Ativan, which I am not ready or stable enough to do. She responded with the following in a text. It is a direct quote

 

"my supervising MD is freaking out that I’m compounding meds. The FDA is on prescribers like water on rice. There will soon be a day (very quickly, actually), when NONE of us APNs can prescribe controls. I don’t want to rock the boat any more than I have, and I’d rather have you come down slowly than just go off cold turkey, which is what some APNs are being instructed to do."

 

Nice to know my tapering schedule is directed by her own desire to save her own a**, and not my best interest. I fired her shortly after this text.

 

Anyways, I'm complaining. I'm sorry. I hope you get over that virus ASAP!!!

[luv2knit]

Oh wow! Not good. If I had tapered slower, I probably wouldn't be where I am now... I just didn't know Good luck. Keeping you in my prayers!

[Altostrata]

I have a feeling that lots of doctors are going to see more of benzo withdrawal syndrome now they've gotten the word benzos are no good.

[luv2knit]

OK, so the virus thing (or whatever) didn't turn out to last too long--just basically a bad day.  My pattern thus far has been really crazy, though, and I am really wondering what this means, or if it is just normal for AD withdrawal.  I keep a journal, and I rate my akathisia (most troublesome symptom) throughout the day.  Of course, my rating scale wouldn't mean much to anyone else, but I think you can get the idea of what I am saying.   I rate the entire day"OK" if my akathisia is in the "3" to "4" range, or perhaps only goes up to "5" for a short time (my perception of the severity).  I rate the entire day "So-So" if akathisia is primarily in the "5" range, but perhaps goes up to a "7" (pretty severe to me--with a lot of psychological symptoms) for a short time one or more times throughout the day.  If the akathisia stays in the "7" range most or all of the day, I rate the entire day as "Bad".  That being said, here is the way my progress (or lack thereof) has gone.  It seemed I started out in September alternating, with about every other day being "Bad" and alternate days being either "OK" or "So-So".  Then it seemed to be every 2nd or 3rd day "Bad" and alternating days "OK" or "So-So".  A few weeks ago, I had the better part of 10 days to 2 weeks in the "OK" or "So-So" range, with only an occasional half day being "Bad".  Following this, I had about 5 days straight that were "Bad".  Yes, I'm assuming this was a bad "wave", but it just doesn't seem to make sense with the way the rest of my "progress" has gone.  Since then, I alternated "Bad" days with "OK" or "So-So" days a time or two, and have finally actually had an "OK" day and a "So-So" day.  Am I going backwards here, with all these bad days together, or is this pretty much the way it goes?  Or more likely, am I just totally over thinking it?   Keep in mind I was only on and withdrew from one AD.  I was getting pretty optimistic there for a week or so, and then "BAM"!  The worst wave I have had yet.  As you can tell, I'm pretty new to this.  I went off Zoloft the end of July after a too-fast taper (6 weeks), and did not experience the withdrawal symptoms until about a month later, approximately the beginning of September.  Just trying to get a feel for whether this is "normal"--if there really is a normal with this!!  Anybody??!

[luv2knit]

I might add here that my insomnia is still really bad--not really ever getting more than a few hours sleep total a night, and it seems like my worst days follow the nights when I get the least sleep (which makes sense to me).

[tgirl]

Hello L,

Sorry you are having trouble sleeping. I am too!

Just wanted to drop bye and say hello.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Much love.

[luv2knit]

Thanks so much tgirl--Appreciate it!

[Wildflower0214]

Luv,

Akathisia back in full swing. How do u sleep? Does it ramp down at night?

[luv2knit]

I don't sleep well at all. It's 4:50, and I've been awake since 1:00. Sometimes it ramps down at night, but still can't sleep most of the time:( Think I'm going into another wave. Sorry, JDM. It sucks.

[Wildflower0214]

What time do u go to bed? Do u have sensations? What is yours like?

[Wildflower0214]

I go for nights with no sleep at all. A lot of people who have it seem to sleep, a maybe that's not what I have I don't know. I have awful crawly sensations on legs and arms.

[mammaP]

I'm another one with that awful insomnia, I wish I had the answer to it. 

[Wildflower0214]

I'm another one with that awful insomnia, I wish I had the answer to it.

Ya, mine seems to be mainly contributed to the sensations. Or I jolt when I almost fall asleep. Do u just not get tired...or exhausted but can't sleep? I was ok, and then had to have a filling and they numbed me and that's was a couple days ago and I've had two nights with no sleep out of 3.

[luv2knit]

By "sensations" and "it", are you referring to the akathisia, JDM? I feel like I am jumping out of my skin, and sometimes shake visibly. The numbness and burning in my hands and feet is also worse when the akathisia ramps up. Anxiety, depression, agitation, and impulsiveness is also part of the package.

[luv2knit]

Those of you with insomnia--if/when you are exhausted during the day, do you just go with it and take a nap? I'm always afraid it will mess up my sleep for the next night? What works?

[Wildflower0214]

By "sensations" and "it", are you referring to the akathisia, JDM? I feel like I am jumping out of my skin, and sometimes shake visibly. The numbness and burning in my hands and feet is also worse when the akathisia ramps up. Anxiety, depression, agitation, and impulsiveness is also part of the package.

Yes, I believe that's what it is. I still don't know how you guys sleep like this! I couldn't take a nap if someone paid me to do it. When u lay down and your legs wanna move, how do u deal with that?

[luv2knit]

I just can't help but doze off from time to time. I don't know if I would be able to actually lay down and take a nap. I haven't had more than a few hours sleep any night in the last three months. My insomnia is definitely not caused totally by my akathisia. Even if I'm not outwardly twitching, I still don't sleep.

[Wildflower0214]

Even if your outwardly twitching you still sleep? Ya. I'm pretty tired. I'm sorry to be so gloomy.

[luv2knit]

No, I don't sleep, even if I'm not twitching, so I don't think the akathsia is the only reason for the insomnia. I have akathisia symtoms all the time to some degree. It just varies in intensity. I think one thing that helps me is that the main chair I sit in is a rocker/recliner. Could care less about the recliner, but I have to have that rocker to move those legs. It is in this chair that I often doze off. Thankfully, though, the akathisia usually subsides for me before bed--although sometimes it is RIGHT before bed. I can go to sleep, but wake up an hour later twitching. If not twitching when I wake up, I will lay there and try to go back to sleep. If I am twitching, I end up getting up.

[Wildflower0214]

I'm sorry!!!!!! :( so sorry!!!! My arms feel funny too. Do yours?

[luv2knit]

My hands, feet, and most of the time arms and legs as well. I also have a lot of pain in my back and arm that I think may be related. I'm old, what can I say?!

[WinningThrough]

Hi luv2knit. I'm so sorry you're stricken with akathisia too. Thinking of you.

[luv2knit]

Thanks Winning Through! You too?

[WinningThrough]

Yep, I have it too. Take care.

[Wildflower0214]

 

No, I don't sleep, even if I'm not twitching, so I don't think the akathsia is the only reason for the insomnia. I have akathisia symtoms all the time to some degree. It just varies in intensity. I think one thing that helps me is that the main chair I sit in is a rocker/recliner. Could care less about the recliner, but I have to have that rocker to move those legs. It is in this chair that I often doze off. Thankfully, though, the akathisia usually subsides for me before bed--although sometimes it is RIGHT before bed. I can go to sleep, but wake up an hour later twitching. If not twitching when I wake up, I will lay there and try to go back to sleep. If I am twitching, I end up getting up.[/quote

What do you do all night?

[luv2knit]

Feel like I am in the middle of a nightmare.  Surely this can't really be happening.  What started out as a so-so morning turned into a really bad day, because I was one hour late getting my noon "snack".  This makes absolutely no sense.  It is now 5:00 at night, and my akathisia is still ramped up.  I am agitated, irritable, depressed, and feel miserable.  This is not the first time this has happened, but I try to keep myself on a pretty strict schedule with food, etc., because it seems to work out better this way.  This is just unreal, though

[Wildflower0214]

Feel like I am in the middle of a nightmare. Surely this can't really be happening. What started out as a so-so morning turned into a really bad day, because I was one hour late getting my noon "snack". This makes absolutely no sense. It is now 5:00 at night, and my akathisia is still ramped up. I am agitated, irritable, depressed, and feel miserable. This is not the first time this has happened, but I try to keep myself on a pretty strict schedule with food, etc., because it seems to work out better this way. This is just unreal, though

Sorry!!!! :-/ stuff like that throws me off too!