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Irishguy4u: introduction


Irishguy4u

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Hello everbody,

I am new to this forum and I think it is wonderful, where people can talk and get answers about their withdrawal from anti depressents. I had been on effexor ex since 2000, quit cold turkey for about 3 months and the anxiety was so bad, I went back on effexor 150 mg, I was switch over to, Zoloft in May of 2014 and took buspar for anxiety as needed. I started feeling very depressed and was switched to Brintellix for about one month. 6 weeks ago, I stopped the meds again cold turkey ( I know stupid) should have tappered. I have been feeling waves of depression that I have never felt before. I have been taking The Omega 3 to help with the depression. Some days I feel, like I am losing my mind. I know everybody else on here has their own stories and problems. I guess I am looking for reassurance, or advice.

Thank you for listening

2000 Started on Paxil 75 mg, for about 3 months, switch to Effexor 100MG for 6 months, up the dose to 150mg for 12 yrs.

2011 pooped out on Effexor and went cold turkey off all meds for approx 4 months, experienced brain zaps, headaches, terrible anger and rage. In Nov of 2012, after a relationship breakup, experienced horrendous anxiety. In Jan 2013 went of Vibryid 50 mg for one month and put back on Effexor 225 mg. I still experienced anxiety, and given buspar 50 mg as needed. May 2014 switched off Effexor to zoloft 100mg and increased to 150mg. Stayed on Zoloft to July 2014, taken off of zoloft because of depression( something I never had) August 2014 placed on Brintellix 10 mg ( for major Depres Dis), I was feeling more depressed. Weaned off of Brintellix for 3 or 4 days, and now I am drug free since August 24th 2014,March 2015, I have been off off Meds for 7 months and I can tell you it has not be easy, Extreme fear, anxiety and depression. I am starting to feel better. I have been told I am bipolar, becasue of mood swings. I believe I am still in withdrawal.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello Irishguy, welcome to SA.  I am sorry that you are suffering from the effects of all those drugs.

Sadly doctors know very little about the drugs they are prescribing and I am saddened that you were 

prescribed the last one for MDD when you were obviously suffering from withdrawal and adverse effects

of previous drugs.  You have been on and off sa few in quite a short space of time and it is a bit too 

complicated for me so I am going to put out a call for other staff to come and see what they would 

advise for you.  

 

I am glad that you are here, you are not alone with this and we are a friendly bunch who support each

other.  You are not losing you mind, you are suffering but will get better. I have to end this now because

my lappy is about to die but wanted to say hi and welcome. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Mammap, thank you so much for your input and your advise. I am trying to remain strong and work through the waves of depression and the lost feeling ( just like so many others) I really do appreciate your encouraging words.

2000 Started on Paxil 75 mg, for about 3 months, switch to Effexor 100MG for 6 months, up the dose to 150mg for 12 yrs.

2011 pooped out on Effexor and went cold turkey off all meds for approx 4 months, experienced brain zaps, headaches, terrible anger and rage. In Nov of 2012, after a relationship breakup, experienced horrendous anxiety. In Jan 2013 went of Vibryid 50 mg for one month and put back on Effexor 225 mg. I still experienced anxiety, and given buspar 50 mg as needed. May 2014 switched off Effexor to zoloft 100mg and increased to 150mg. Stayed on Zoloft to July 2014, taken off of zoloft because of depression( something I never had) August 2014 placed on Brintellix 10 mg ( for major Depres Dis), I was feeling more depressed. Weaned off of Brintellix for 3 or 4 days, and now I am drug free since August 24th 2014,March 2015, I have been off off Meds for 7 months and I can tell you it has not be easy, Extreme fear, anxiety and depression. I am starting to feel better. I have been told I am bipolar, becasue of mood swings. I believe I am still in withdrawal.

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  • Administrator

Welcome, Irishguy.

 

When you switched from Zoloft to Brintellix, how did you do it? Did you have any symptoms after that?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Welcome irishguy.

 

I'm glad you found this site, but I'm sorry your experiencing withdrawal symptoms. I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel like you're losing your mind. It's a horrible, scary feeling because while your experiencing it you're convinced it's true. Our minds can be very mean to us during withdrawal.

 

Withdrawal is different for everyone but as you look through this site I'm sure you'll see a lot of commonalities and things you identify with.

 

When you have time look through the various forums. To start here's a link that contains lists of links for very topics within this website: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/604-important-topics-about-symptoms-including-sleep-problems/

1988-2012: Prozac @ 60mg to treat an eating disorder. Several unsuccessful attempts to discontinue.Fall 2012: Failed attempt to discontinue then -> 40mg Prozac and added 150mg Wellbutrin. Late summer 2013:Began slower Prozac taper.Spring 2014:Got to 10mg Prozac, 75mg of Wellbutrin -April 2014: 9mg Prozac & 37.5mg Wellbutrin 2x/day -> 9mg Prozac & 25 mg Wellbutrin 2x/day->9mg Prozac 1x/day & ~8mg Wellbutrin 2x/day -> 8.1mg Prozac, 0 WellbutrinSept '14: 8.1mg Prozac -> crashed hardOct '14: 10mg ProzacNov '14: 20mg -> 30mgDec '14: 30mg, Feb 10: 27mg. Mar 7: 25mg Mar 21, 2015: 20mg. May 21, 2016: 20mg and holding strong. Taper restarted April 2021 to 18mg, July 2021 to 16mg, currently 15mg. 

 

My experience: http://rxisk.org/antidepressant-withdrawal-a-prozac-story/

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Hi Altostrata, Addax, I was on Effexor 150mg and they bridged be with Zoloft,I think 50 mg and then bumped me up to 100mg. When this happened, I felt depression like I never felt before, I thought it might be the Zoloft ( I still don't know what caused the depression and I am currently off all meds and dealing with serious depression) Something I never experienced before. They just told me to stop the zoloft and start taking 10 mg of Brintellix, I felt fine for about 2 weeks and the depression returned. I weaned off of Brintellix for about 5 days and stopped cold turkey ( not the smartest thing) Omega 3 sup have been helping me a lot. I just dont understand the depression, it is a huge withdrawal sympton? I am trying to figure out if the depression is situational or withdrawal. Thank you so much for all your support. God Bless all of you.

2000 Started on Paxil 75 mg, for about 3 months, switch to Effexor 100MG for 6 months, up the dose to 150mg for 12 yrs.

2011 pooped out on Effexor and went cold turkey off all meds for approx 4 months, experienced brain zaps, headaches, terrible anger and rage. In Nov of 2012, after a relationship breakup, experienced horrendous anxiety. In Jan 2013 went of Vibryid 50 mg for one month and put back on Effexor 225 mg. I still experienced anxiety, and given buspar 50 mg as needed. May 2014 switched off Effexor to zoloft 100mg and increased to 150mg. Stayed on Zoloft to July 2014, taken off of zoloft because of depression( something I never had) August 2014 placed on Brintellix 10 mg ( for major Depres Dis), I was feeling more depressed. Weaned off of Brintellix for 3 or 4 days, and now I am drug free since August 24th 2014,March 2015, I have been off off Meds for 7 months and I can tell you it has not be easy, Extreme fear, anxiety and depression. I am starting to feel better. I have been told I am bipolar, becasue of mood swings. I believe I am still in withdrawal.

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Why the move from Effexor to Zoloft?

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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Hi Meimequest, I was on Effexor for a long time and I think it pooped out on me. I went off of it cold turkey in 2012 for about 3 months and had serious anxiety. When I reinstated the Effexor I continued to have major anxiety of about a year and a decision was made to try something else, They picked Zoloft. To be honest with you I had all my faith in these professionals and I don't think they knew what they were doing.

2000 Started on Paxil 75 mg, for about 3 months, switch to Effexor 100MG for 6 months, up the dose to 150mg for 12 yrs.

2011 pooped out on Effexor and went cold turkey off all meds for approx 4 months, experienced brain zaps, headaches, terrible anger and rage. In Nov of 2012, after a relationship breakup, experienced horrendous anxiety. In Jan 2013 went of Vibryid 50 mg for one month and put back on Effexor 225 mg. I still experienced anxiety, and given buspar 50 mg as needed. May 2014 switched off Effexor to zoloft 100mg and increased to 150mg. Stayed on Zoloft to July 2014, taken off of zoloft because of depression( something I never had) August 2014 placed on Brintellix 10 mg ( for major Depres Dis), I was feeling more depressed. Weaned off of Brintellix for 3 or 4 days, and now I am drug free since August 24th 2014,March 2015, I have been off off Meds for 7 months and I can tell you it has not be easy, Extreme fear, anxiety and depression. I am starting to feel better. I have been told I am bipolar, becasue of mood swings. I believe I am still in withdrawal.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

When you quit the effexor and was off it for 3 months you would have become sensitised to it

and reinstating at a high dose could well have caused more problems. We advise reinstatement

at very very low doses which are often enough to ease the withdrawal symptoms. 

 

After consulting with others It is possible that a tiny dose of zoloft may help if you want to try it, I

think I would start with 1mg and go up in tiny increments if necessary. It may take a few days before

you notice any difference, if things get worse then stop immediately. You can then start a slow taper

from that when you are stable.  Zoloft is available in a liquid that would be easy to to taper such small 

doses. 

 

Here is the thread for tapering zoloft http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1441-tips-for-tapering-off-zoloft-sertraline/

 

And about reinstating to stabilise  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3079-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-stop-withdrawal-symptoms/

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Hi MammaP,

Thank you for your great advice, I am on my 7th week and somedays I feel awful, Thanks to the support and different articles on this site, I have been able to educate myself

about the withdrawal ( esp cold turkey) I am affraid to reinstate, even though it is a wee bit. I know that my emotions ( Neuro emotions) are on a hair trigger. I keep telling myself

that this is NOT me and it is the brain healing itself. I am using different supplements and they seem to help somewhat. I pray for all the folks on here going through this dreadful struggle.

I want to tough it out, and I think with the support from this forum, I/WE can do this.

Thank you again for your support

 

Irishguy

2000 Started on Paxil 75 mg, for about 3 months, switch to Effexor 100MG for 6 months, up the dose to 150mg for 12 yrs.

2011 pooped out on Effexor and went cold turkey off all meds for approx 4 months, experienced brain zaps, headaches, terrible anger and rage. In Nov of 2012, after a relationship breakup, experienced horrendous anxiety. In Jan 2013 went of Vibryid 50 mg for one month and put back on Effexor 225 mg. I still experienced anxiety, and given buspar 50 mg as needed. May 2014 switched off Effexor to zoloft 100mg and increased to 150mg. Stayed on Zoloft to July 2014, taken off of zoloft because of depression( something I never had) August 2014 placed on Brintellix 10 mg ( for major Depres Dis), I was feeling more depressed. Weaned off of Brintellix for 3 or 4 days, and now I am drug free since August 24th 2014,March 2015, I have been off off Meds for 7 months and I can tell you it has not be easy, Extreme fear, anxiety and depression. I am starting to feel better. I have been told I am bipolar, becasue of mood swings. I believe I am still in withdrawal.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I can understand your reluctance to  reinstate, none of us here wanted to do that but it really 

is the best way to avoid distressing withdrawal symptoms which can go on for years for some people.

Some can quit and not have any ill effects at all but those people are usually those who have only been

on them for a short time.  It isn't failure or weakness it is doing what is best for your brain and nervous system. 

I did not want to reinstate after a month off effexor and a whole year of tapering but the withdrawal was getting

worse. I reinstated just 1mg and it helped within a day or 2.  

 

I'm not trying to scare you or push you into it, it's your call. I just want you to be aware of all that we have learned

and experienced here at SA. 

 

Keep us posted won't you?  :)

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

MammaP,

It has been two weeks since I last posted. I really am considering reinstatment of a small dose to combat the withdrawal symptoms, I has been over two months since I have been off my meds. Is the window still open for reinstatement or will I cause more harm. I know you are not a Medical professional, you seen to have a lot more knowledge that most Doctors.

 

Any Advice on the reinstatment?

2000 Started on Paxil 75 mg, for about 3 months, switch to Effexor 100MG for 6 months, up the dose to 150mg for 12 yrs.

2011 pooped out on Effexor and went cold turkey off all meds for approx 4 months, experienced brain zaps, headaches, terrible anger and rage. In Nov of 2012, after a relationship breakup, experienced horrendous anxiety. In Jan 2013 went of Vibryid 50 mg for one month and put back on Effexor 225 mg. I still experienced anxiety, and given buspar 50 mg as needed. May 2014 switched off Effexor to zoloft 100mg and increased to 150mg. Stayed on Zoloft to July 2014, taken off of zoloft because of depression( something I never had) August 2014 placed on Brintellix 10 mg ( for major Depres Dis), I was feeling more depressed. Weaned off of Brintellix for 3 or 4 days, and now I am drug free since August 24th 2014,March 2015, I have been off off Meds for 7 months and I can tell you it has not be easy, Extreme fear, anxiety and depression. I am starting to feel better. I have been told I am bipolar, becasue of mood swings. I believe I am still in withdrawal.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi everybody,

Just looking for some insight? I have been off of Effexor for 10 weeks now. During this withdrawal process, I mostly battled depression. I have been taking Omega 3 supplements and Vitamins. The last couple of days, the depression has subsided and now I have awful fear and Anxiety. Is this another phase of the withdrawal? I am trying to remain so strong and positive throughout this journey.

2000 Started on Paxil 75 mg, for about 3 months, switch to Effexor 100MG for 6 months, up the dose to 150mg for 12 yrs.

2011 pooped out on Effexor and went cold turkey off all meds for approx 4 months, experienced brain zaps, headaches, terrible anger and rage. In Nov of 2012, after a relationship breakup, experienced horrendous anxiety. In Jan 2013 went of Vibryid 50 mg for one month and put back on Effexor 225 mg. I still experienced anxiety, and given buspar 50 mg as needed. May 2014 switched off Effexor to zoloft 100mg and increased to 150mg. Stayed on Zoloft to July 2014, taken off of zoloft because of depression( something I never had) August 2014 placed on Brintellix 10 mg ( for major Depres Dis), I was feeling more depressed. Weaned off of Brintellix for 3 or 4 days, and now I am drug free since August 24th 2014,March 2015, I have been off off Meds for 7 months and I can tell you it has not be easy, Extreme fear, anxiety and depression. I am starting to feel better. I have been told I am bipolar, becasue of mood swings. I believe I am still in withdrawal.

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Hello,

I have off my last Med for about 11 weeks now, I went off my last Med Zoloft Cold turkey. I was experiencing awful depression. The depression has subsided and lately I am experiencing tremedous bouts of anxiety and fear. Some days are unbearable as most of you experienced. My question is it too

late to reinstate? I am lost hear and looking for any advice. I am not sure if I can reinstate to alleviate these symptoms or not. Any advice is appreciated

2000 Started on Paxil 75 mg, for about 3 months, switch to Effexor 100MG for 6 months, up the dose to 150mg for 12 yrs.

2011 pooped out on Effexor and went cold turkey off all meds for approx 4 months, experienced brain zaps, headaches, terrible anger and rage. In Nov of 2012, after a relationship breakup, experienced horrendous anxiety. In Jan 2013 went of Vibryid 50 mg for one month and put back on Effexor 225 mg. I still experienced anxiety, and given buspar 50 mg as needed. May 2014 switched off Effexor to zoloft 100mg and increased to 150mg. Stayed on Zoloft to July 2014, taken off of zoloft because of depression( something I never had) August 2014 placed on Brintellix 10 mg ( for major Depres Dis), I was feeling more depressed. Weaned off of Brintellix for 3 or 4 days, and now I am drug free since August 24th 2014,March 2015, I have been off off Meds for 7 months and I can tell you it has not be easy, Extreme fear, anxiety and depression. I am starting to feel better. I have been told I am bipolar, becasue of mood swings. I believe I am still in withdrawal.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Irishguy,

I merged your new topic with your original one, its one intro topic per member, you can add to it as your wish.

 

If I were you I would give reinstatement a try, at 11 weeks out, its possible it will work. 

 

Reinstatement of a small amount of the drug can often work well to alleviate withdrawal symptoms.  According to medical knowledge, reinstatement is the only way to alleviate withdrawal symptoms.  Reinstatement is best done immediately upon appearance of withdrawal symptoms. The more time that passes, the less likely it is to work.  Here is some information about reinstatement to help you decide if its something you would like to try:

 

http://survivinganti...rawal-symptoms/

 

 

After consulting with others It is possible that a tiny dose of zoloft may help if you want to try it, I

think I would start with 1mg and go up in tiny increments if necessary. It may take a few days before

you notice any difference, if things get worse then stop immediately. You can then start a slow taper

from that when you are stable.  Zoloft is available in a liquid that would be easy to to taper such small 

doses. 

 

Here is the thread for tapering zoloft http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1441-tips-for-tapering-off-zoloft-sertraline/

 

And about reinstating to stabilise  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3079-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-stop-withdrawal-symptoms/

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Hi Petu,

Thank you for your advice, I know it was the wrong thing to do Cold Turkey, now I am paying for it, I may try the

reinstatement of a small dose, to help relieve the symptoms.

Thank you for replying

2000 Started on Paxil 75 mg, for about 3 months, switch to Effexor 100MG for 6 months, up the dose to 150mg for 12 yrs.

2011 pooped out on Effexor and went cold turkey off all meds for approx 4 months, experienced brain zaps, headaches, terrible anger and rage. In Nov of 2012, after a relationship breakup, experienced horrendous anxiety. In Jan 2013 went of Vibryid 50 mg for one month and put back on Effexor 225 mg. I still experienced anxiety, and given buspar 50 mg as needed. May 2014 switched off Effexor to zoloft 100mg and increased to 150mg. Stayed on Zoloft to July 2014, taken off of zoloft because of depression( something I never had) August 2014 placed on Brintellix 10 mg ( for major Depres Dis), I was feeling more depressed. Weaned off of Brintellix for 3 or 4 days, and now I am drug free since August 24th 2014,March 2015, I have been off off Meds for 7 months and I can tell you it has not be easy, Extreme fear, anxiety and depression. I am starting to feel better. I have been told I am bipolar, becasue of mood swings. I believe I am still in withdrawal.

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  • 4 months later...

IrishGuy, how are you doing? You were in a tough position when you first posted, and I hope you are still fighting to regain your health.

2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink.

2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ...

Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.
2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures.

:o 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years.

I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body.

2015: I  began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning.

I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral.

And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. 

I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up.

In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body.   :unsure:

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