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alexrosear: my introduction


alexrosear

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Hello all! I've been having a troubling time and at last I've found a place where people can listen.

 

For around two months I had been very stressed by university decisions and having a major existential and academic crisis. After taking my exams my mind was working at 1000000 miles per hour and I  was constantly stressed and evaluating everything. I'd found my self slowed down and constantly riddled by worry and regret and anxiety. I began taking '5-htp' which I was told would help somewhat. I then discontinued it and went on holiday and when I came back I felt slightly better. However my psychiatrist recommended going on Sertraline and prescribed it for me. I didn't really want to take it as I was feeling better but my family pressured me into it so I took it.

 

That night, I was lying in bed and my brain was racing with worries and regrets and stressing and suddenly I felt something attack those thoughts, resist against them and dull them down. Initially, this frightened me inordinately but then I thought 'this is what this drug is meant to do' and just sort of let it happen. I then felt it attack against my verbal fluency and vocabulary and writing and evaluative skills. This seriously scared me and I felt my whole body fill with immense tension and stress and anxiety and felt as though I had gone into overdrive. My brain went into overdrive and I felt as though I'd never sleep again. I took it the next day and insisted that I stop it and didn't want it in my brain anymore so I went to the doctor and she told me the psychiatrist should never have prescribed it for me in the first place. She told me to stop it. I stopped taking it after only two days. The symptoms persisted and the world felt weird, dull and my perception of it awry. I suddenly developed this intense headache unlike anything ever experienced before - it was as though my whole brain was disintegrating. Like someone'd opened up a door in the sides of my head and it was all disintegrating away. This went away.

 

I then started the 5-htp again, foolishly, unaware that it interacts with sertraline. I then stopped the 5htp after a couple of weeks of feeling strange, slowed down and sick. I hadn't slept at all since the sertraline. I then went away to Cambridge for a week to study English Literature and felt weird, slowed and dulled. Talking to people was hard and I found it difficult to form sentences, opinions and have conversations. Anyway, sitting in the lectures the pain in my head came on 10 fold. IT waslike my whole mind was disintegrating and I couldn't focus or concentrate or anything. I was petrified this and scared that at anymoment I may have a stroke or faint or something serious. I came back from Cambridge and told my parents and they simply thought I was psychotic, anxious and depressed. I insisted something was physically wrong with me and pushed to try and see a doctor. We went to the doctors who told me what I was experiencing wasn't real aand the drugs had no effect on me. They then prescribed my Valium because they said it was anxiety . I didn't want to take it but my parents forced me to. The Valium spaced me out and blunted my thoughts significantly. I then started to feel my brain shake and pump and wobble and light would effect me and I found myself talking strangely and so forth. It felt like my whole brain was sick and trying to be sick, like there's some horrible nocuous chemical eroding my brain and intelligence.

 

I was walking around school confused and now it's like my brain has just shut down. I've discontinued the valium now but everything is wrong. I am completely Depersonalisation, I can't really remember my life and short term memory or process any new information or understand anything. My speech is terrible and I can't talk to people because when I do I frost over and it's like there's no-one inside me. it's like the lights have been turned off inside my own head and every day it is worse. No doctors think there is anything wrong and they just want to put me on Prozac and anti-psych meds now to shut me up. I don't know what to do anymore. My whole life is falling apart. I've gone from being someone who was intimidatingly intellectual, confident, creative, gregarious, sociable, quick witted, eloquent and so on to a bumbling, seemingly half brain dead zombie with no emotions, thoughts, feelings, opinions, memories or anything. Bear in mind I am only 17.

 

What do I do? Every day it gets worse. The headaches are worse, the DP is worse, my cognition is worse, emotion lability is worse and the doctors are having none of it other than wanting to prescribe MORE ADs and APs. It feels like my whole brain is fizzling and wrong.

 

Thanks! Any advice or similar experiences would be welcomed inordinately

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

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Hi Alexrosear and welcome.  I am happy you found this site.  I think it will be very helpful with what you are going through.  I am very new here myself and someone will be along soon with valuable insight I am sure!  I just wanted to welcome you and let you know that I have been experiencing similar symptoms (from my tapering of Cymbalta) in regards to memory and difficulty with forming sentences and conversation.  It is alternately disconcerting, frustrating and terrifying.  Hang in there and try your best to take care of yourself.  

Previous brief history with Celexa, Wellbutrin (2007? for smoking cessation), one month on Lamictal in 2009, one month on Remeron 2009. Prescribed Cymbalta approximately 2009 initially at 60 mg then 30 mg and finally 20 mg.  

January of 2014 was changed to generic then in February of 2014 I missed two days = severe withdrawal (suicidal thoughts, uncontrollable crying, isolation, etc). February 2014- switched back to name brand Cymbalta and started tapering from 20 mg by counting beads.  Average rate was about ten beads every 1-2 weeks

Approx July 2014 - slowed down taper, removed 3-5 beads every 1-2 weeks. 

October 9,2014 - 13 beads/ January 1, 2015 - 12 beads/ February 13, 2015 - 11 beads/March 13, 2015- 10 beads

May 17- 9 beads/ June 20, 2015 - 8 beads/ October 8, 2015 - 7 beads

 

Supplements:  Vitamin E, fish oil, magnesium. cod liver oild-ribose, sunflower lecithin, DMAE, choline, inositol, ubiquinol coQ10, B-complex vitamin D3

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Hi, AlexRosear,

 

You are in the right place for help. I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

 

None of this is your imagination and you describe very adroitly the sense that something foreign has been physically altering your brain, because it has.

 

It can be exceedlingly difficult to resist the pressure of family members and doctors (read: quacks) to continue these medications or switch to new ones. Please avoid making any further changes until you can obtain more knowledgable advice from moderators and others here. Armed with knowledge, you will be the best, most effective agent for your own recovery. And you will recover.

 

It will be most helpful if you can create a signature here that includes a succinct history of what you have been, or were, taking (medications and supplements), at what dosage, and for how long.

04/2013 diagnoses: severe insomnia, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia. PTSD (my diagnosis)

Original scripts: 30 mg mirtazapine (Remeron) (1x day), 75 mg Bupropion HCL (Wellbutrin) (2x day), and 0.5 lorazepam (1x day or as needed)

05/05/14: Onset of acute Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms after haphazard "taper" of 6-8 wks.

05/10/14: Joined this site.

05/11/14: Reinstated approx. 25 mg Wellbutrin (1x day)

05/14/14: Switched to 12.5 mg Wellbutrin (2x day)

06/28/14: Changed lorazepam dosing to .25 mg 2x a day - seems to be reducing anxiety flare-ups

07/28/14: Dosing Wellbutrin in a (home made) solution form 12.5 mg (2x day) 08/15/14: Remeron 28 25.2 22.7 20.5 18.5 16.7 15.1 13.6 mg (home made) solution

05/16/15: Have been dosing lorazepam at .5 mg in the morning, .25 mg in the afternoon, and .25 mg at bedtime. Anxiety has increased somewhat, possibly due to tolerance.

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Alex--

 

You're actually very fortunate that you are off the drugs and didn't stay on them long. We've seen this before, particularly with younger folks, very short use causing problems that continue even after they quit taking the drugs, and that last a while before fading.

 

Please don't panic. You will get your brain back. You are not the first person this has happened to. It's true that the authority figures in your life will probably not believe or credit your experience, or they will tell you it's something else, some new problem, or caused by something else. The drug companies have done a great job of infiltrating and taking over all physician education from med school on up, and there's been very little decent research done on the problems caused by these drugs, and most of that has been done in other countries. So your doctors aren't likely to know much.

 

Since this all started with you being overwhelmed and overstressed to begin with, and the best way to heal your brain now is by giving it calm support and a low stress environment, I would recommend taking a look at your life and seeing how you can reduce stress. You may need to take some "down time" from that highly competitive college environment for a bit. Maybe see a therapist who can work with you on stress reduction and coping skills (and make it very clear that you have had bad reactions to psychiatric meds so that is not an option that you will entertain, you are looking for nondrug solutions). Take a vacation, take a semester off if you can, take a reduced course load, and explore ways that you can structure your life with some fun and relaxation and reduced stress.

 

These are just my thoughts, not a prescription or anything. All I know is that, first, you are going to recover, so you can relax about that, even though it's going to take a while and your symptoms are not fun right now; and second, that the best way to support your nervous system in rebalancing and healing itself is to do simple self-nurturing, eat nutritious food, get fun exercise that's not too strenuous, spend time in nature, and definitely reduce stress as much as possible.

 

Although society says you're almost an adult, your brain will actually not be fully developed for another eight to ten years, so be gentle with it, and please resist the suggestions of others to put drugs in there that screw with its developing chemistry. This is as good a time as any to learn to take care of yourself in a world that is not always particularly nurturing.

 

Oh, and read Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker.

 

Good luck to you. Hang in there. You're not crazy. You're going to be fine.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Thanks everyone! It is such a scary and terrifying experience, and that is simply amplified immeasurably by the lack of understanding by those around me so it is of great solace to me to have found somewhere where people actual listen to me! It is horrifying, the depersonalisation, severe memory loss and cognitive lethargy coupled with the outright inibility to engage or interact properly with another human being - coupled with the pains in my head -especially since It's been a while since discontinuing the meds. The psychiatrist the other day diagnosed me with chronic depersonalisation disorder and said that the reason why my cognition and emotions and memories are not functioning is because I'm anxious about and focused on their functioning which is making me trip up. His analogy was someone walking to accept an award and tripping over because they're so focused on how to walk. I find that to be fundamentally wrong and slightly trivialising and patronising as while I'm totally aware of the negative effects of stres and anxiety he is completely ignoring the fact that my anxiety is secondary and not even addressing or paying attention to what I'm anxious about. Doctors are so frustrating! That's why I have to take it into my own hands, which is tremendously difficult considering the problems I'm suffering from are impairing my functioning and my age and situation.

 

As it stands I'm trying to destress, go for walks, have taken up meditation, am trying as much as possible to eat well despite my family not particularly having many healthy foods around, go to school and try to interact with people and get my brain back and my sense of self back, however I've been having immense difficulty with even the simplest of conversation or work and have been hiding in toilets to avoid seeing people. It's tough, especially when all my friends are telling me I seem like a completely different person and asking why I'm talking so strangely. It's just difficult to interact with people when you don't feel like a person yourself - plus it's so difficult being surrounded by people that not only don't really understand but are also all completely fine, happy and functioning well. This said, I am trying not to stress about it and take it slow and just see how it goes. Definitely no more meds for me - and now I guess it's merely having that faith that whatever nuerological, chemical effects and damages these drugs, and the stress and anxiety accompanying them, have done to my brain my brain will slowly be able to nueroplastically recover from. As I say, in my experience it keeps getting progressively worse but all I can so is hope and keep trying everything and try not to stress and eventually the lights will have to turn back on somehow - I can NOT life my whole life like this!

 

I will give that book a read and as you say I will just try to arm myself with as much understanding and knowledge of this so I can start to get myself back. As you say, my brain and my sense of self are still developing at my age so it is scary that all of this things are happening to me and I can only hope that they've not caused any long term permanent damage or lasting changes or stunting to my development but only temporary impairment. as I say, I study biology but I'm no neuroscientist or cognitive psychologist and I have no real insight or knowledge into the whys, how's and what's of the effects these drugs have had on the chemicals, receptors, and nuerons in my brain. To my knowledge, no-one really understands these things to any great depth and that's certainly worrying.

 

Again, thanks muchly for the support and just as much and many shared experiences, knowledge and advice would be so very very helpful to me right now.

 

The signature thing is a great idea. Alas, I'm unable to do it on my phone which I am currently on so will fill it in when I get on my computer tommorow.

 

Regards,

- Alex

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Alex,

I'm so sorry you were put on sertraline and have been harmed by it.  Its not unusual for young people to experience adverse reactions to these drugs.  Luckily you weren't exposed for long and will heal.

 

Its also not unusual for young people to feel stressed and overwhelmed by exams and having to make life defining decisions.  But this isn't an illness requiring a medication.  Its a normal but difficult stage of life which requires practical help, support, understanding, good advice and natural methods for reducing the stress... which you tried to do by using a supplement and going on holiday.  You have good instincts, I'm sorry you encountered a psychiatrist at such a vulnerable point in your life.

 

It sounds like you are having difficulties with the depersonalization symptom, along with the others.  Here is a post from another forum for people who are experiencing DP/DR, you may find it helpful.

 

The Holy Grail of Curing DP/DR

 

Because your DP was caused by a drug reaction, (many people get it from smoking weed) I think that its most likely time which will enable you to recover.  But I think that some of the suggestions in this list may help you to deal with it until it goes away, and also may prevent it from getting worse.

 

The psychiatrist the other day diagnosed me with chronic depersonalisation disorder and said that the reason why my cognition and emotions and memories are not functioning is because I'm anxious about and focused on their functioning which is making me trip up. His analogy was someone walking to accept an award and tripping over because they're so focused on how to walk. I find that to be fundamentally wrong and slightly trivialising and patronising as while I'm totally aware of the negative effects of stres and anxiety he is completely ignoring the fact that my anxiety is secondary and not even addressing or paying attention to what I'm anxious about. Doctors are so frustrating!

 

I was frustrated just reading this, so I can imagine how you feel.  But if you look at it from his perspective, it would be almost impossible for him to consider that the primary cause of your symptoms are a drug which he prescribed.  The foundation of his whole profession is these drugs, that's all he has, it would be difficult to face the possibility that his whole life work is harming people rather than helping them.  So to protect his self image, belief structure and values, he has to attribute the cause of your symptoms to you, rather than something he did, or his profession did.

 

If you had a broken leg, caused by falling out of a tree, that injury would cause you to feel anxious about walking to receive your award, the injury may in fact cause you to stumble as you walked.  In this version of the analogy, it was your doctor who pushed you out of the tree in the first place.  Its unlikely he will ever admit it, but don't let him make you forget.

 

You will recover Alex, and when you do, stay away from neuro-active substances, your brain is much too valuable to waste.

 

Petu.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Thanks all. Very troubling times indeed, but I have to stay strong. As advised, I've now included my medication history in my signature so perhaps you could advise me more from that. I've now started omega 3 tablets and a multivitamin. How about magnesium?  I can't wait for the lights to turn on inside my head. I can't even remember my childhood and my life and what it was like to be me any more. I need my life back but it's going to take time and patience and as it stands every single day is much worse than the one before which is disconcerting seeing as it has been a while since I took any medication!

 

Thanks for all the help and support,

It's wonderful to finally find people who listen and understand

 

-Alex

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

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Indeed, looking at everyone else's signature's my medication history seems measly however it is causing me serious and devastating problems - especially considering I am only seventeen and I don't believe I even warranted or needed the medication in the first place! 

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

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Hang on there Alex! You're having a serious adverse drug reaction as mentioned above. As you wrote - there is a thing called neuroplasticity and your nerv cells will heal!

 

Some people tolerate these drugs and a minority gets really bad symptoms like you. This is known by those who've made the medical studies. But the companies do everything in their power to silence these results or to make them sound more benign than they actually are. And they make doctors believe the drugs are more harmless than they are. It could be one reason why your doc thinks it's a mental illness you have.

 

Keep meditating - it has been shown that meditation can lead to growth of an area in the brain that deals with memory. These are long term effects. The rest you get from meditation is very beneficial. Good for insomnia, makes you focus better, reduces stress and anxiety. I practise mindfulness meditation myself, I recommend it!

One advice that I have recieved is to eat regularly, healthy food, go out walking or do some other light physical exercise on a daily basis if possible and try to have a regular sleep. And rest!

 

Your neurons are not destroyed - they are tuned in a really bad way right now - and time will be tuned back to normal!

You'll recover from this!!

1997-1999 Citalopram 20 mg

1999-2014 Sertraline 50 mg

2012 Sertraline very quick taper due to side effects. Switched to Wellbutrin 150 mg-300 mg. Reinstated Sertraline 25 mg-50 mg.

2013 Exhaustion. Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sertraline 75 mg-100 mg.

Sept 2014 Found this site. Started tapering. Sertraline 87,5 mg + Wellbutrin 150 mg 

Aug 2015 No more Wellbutrin!! Sertraline 50 mg

2016 Sertraline 35 mg (January) - 33 mg (March 21st) - 32,5 mg (July 11) - 32 mg (July 27)

2017 March 28,2 mg and holding

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Alexrosear, I am glad that you don't have the long drug history that others have here, but that does

not mean that you are suffering less! You had severe reactions to medications that should not have 

been prescribed for you. As the others have all said, you will get better and this will be a bad memory.

You will be able to share your experience with others that might think about taking psychiatric drugs,

they are every bit as dangerous as illegal drugs. 

 

Are you still taking 5htp and b vitamins? A lot of our members don't tolerate the b vitamins very well, 

they can be activating and cause restlessness. Magnesium is very calming and helps with muscle pain

and sleep. Fish oil helps with dizziness and brain zaps, usually a higher dose is better, 2 per day instead

of 1. Ginger tea is good for nausea, and delicious cold with ice or hot.

 

Plain and simple food, meat and veg plus fruit and some carbs, best from pasta or rice. Lots of water.

You will heal, and I hope that it is very soon. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Thanks both of you for the advice! Thankfully the sickness has gone away ( there was a time where I was vomiting everything I are or drank )as has the intense restlessness and agitation and so forth. Now the main problems are the memory loss, cognitive impairment, personality loss , inability to function in daily life, articulating and so forth. As such, I am taking two doses of 2000mg fish oil per day and will give magnesium a go - any other recommendations?

 

I have been trying exercise but even the lightest jog or swim makes me feel faint an strange and weird and this is disconcerting so I've taken up just light walks. Also yoga. However my whole body is inanely uncoordinated and I can't do the positions and so forth. Is there anything that could help the coordination and rigidity of my body? I went through a time where it felt like I was floating and falling in on myself and leaving my body which wa strange . The strange electric shock type sensations in my head and chest seem to have subsided but the headaches are intense.

 

I've also been trying sudokus and scrabble and memory tests and so on to try and get my brain back but it just isn't working. Aside from this and fish oil, is there anything else that may help? As for social interaction and depersonalization and the blank shut down mind that simply won't make decisions or know where to walk I'm at a loss. Why is it getting worse even though it's been months since quitting only a small , brief dosage on sertraline and Valium ?

 

Ah yes I've stopped the 5htp and vitamin b complex now, in fact the weird mind disintegration pain came on ten fold the day after stopping 5htp :/

 

I will keep you guys posted of my progress (or lack thereof , for that matter ) and just as much advice, knowledge or support would be so obliged!

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

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Oh, also I think limiting time on screens is a good idea. I'm trying to get back into my art and music and poetry and so forth but it's like whatever spark or flair that was in me that allowed me to do those things, the depth and well inside me, that hive of creativity and ideas and emotions and passion - has been sucked out of me and all that's left is a void. I'm finding it difficult to tap into it all but am trying to force myself.

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

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Good to hear that some of the physical symptoms have subsided - a sign that your body has started to heal. I've learnt that the time to recover from the cognitive symptoms will be longer. This is what I'm experiencing myself.

 

Limiting screen time is probably good. Computer screens, TVs, video games and so forth are stimulating and activating. Your nervous system needs rest. You mentioned light walks - stick to this as your physical exercise if it feels good. In general - try to find things that make you feel good, avoid things that worsenes your symptoms like sudoku and swimming. When you feel your condition is improving you can increase your activities.

 

These are some of the things that have worked for me. ;)

1997-1999 Citalopram 20 mg

1999-2014 Sertraline 50 mg

2012 Sertraline very quick taper due to side effects. Switched to Wellbutrin 150 mg-300 mg. Reinstated Sertraline 25 mg-50 mg.

2013 Exhaustion. Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sertraline 75 mg-100 mg.

Sept 2014 Found this site. Started tapering. Sertraline 87,5 mg + Wellbutrin 150 mg 

Aug 2015 No more Wellbutrin!! Sertraline 50 mg

2016 Sertraline 35 mg (January) - 33 mg (March 21st) - 32,5 mg (July 11) - 32 mg (July 27)

2017 March 28,2 mg and holding

 

Link to post

Mmm yeah I'll try that, just doing some light reading and scrabble and things to tease my mind back. It's frustrating because I was someone who could, and would, simply do and study everything - and now i struggle to even process or understand or remember the simplest of information. This will take time and I just hope that there's no permanent damage. I'm trying to get out into the world and do things but it leaves me confused and disorientated and scared however just staying at home leave me frustrated and bored. My family and friends are really frustrated with me and don't understand - I try to explain but everytime I say something they just respond 'oh no your speech is fine' or 'I'm sure you can remember things' which is super annoying. It's just horrible you know I'm a teenager and I'm supposed to be developing and socialising and enjoying my life and I'm just scared I never will. I just hate the person I am at the moment and am just waiting for some evidence of improvement. Only time will tell!!

 

Thanks for being so supportive!

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

Don't worry you will get your life back. They don't understand and how can they?

They have no idea because they have never experienced it. You are doing great with your self care

but don't push too hard, balance is key here. A bit of light exercise,walking and swimming are great,

just don't push yourself too hard or you will pay for it later! 

and the brain stuff is good. I play online scrabble most days and am getting better at it. I am a great

grandma so if my scrabble can get better you can be another Einstein!  

 

See if you can get a copy of Anatomy of an epidemic from the library to show your parents, and 

'Your drug may be your problem'  . You could also look for Peter Breggin's videos on youtube,

they are excellent, especially The truths about psychiatry.  Don't bombard them with too much at

once though, they might find it too much to take in all at once! 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

Link to post

Hah will do! Any advice in terms of speech and socialising? Peoe just talk at me and it's like there's no one that they're talking to - it's really horrible :/

 

I'll try all that and keep you guys posted? Any other supplements or things that have helped you guys with similar problems? Will the memories and the emotions and intelligence and the lights switch on in my own head?

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

Link to post

It's like my ability to talk has just just gone - I can't engage in conversations or make conversation or find things to talk about. Should i try and force. It? It's like I've developed autism or something???

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

Link to post

I really don't know what would be best to do. Do you feel exhausted by socializing and talking? Are you able to be with people in a calm environment and if so how is that compared to a more busy environment? Have you been to school? How do you manage with daily activities in your home like preparing a meal, keeping things in order? Shopping groceries? Do you find that difficult?

1997-1999 Citalopram 20 mg

1999-2014 Sertraline 50 mg

2012 Sertraline very quick taper due to side effects. Switched to Wellbutrin 150 mg-300 mg. Reinstated Sertraline 25 mg-50 mg.

2013 Exhaustion. Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sertraline 75 mg-100 mg.

Sept 2014 Found this site. Started tapering. Sertraline 87,5 mg + Wellbutrin 150 mg 

Aug 2015 No more Wellbutrin!! Sertraline 50 mg

2016 Sertraline 35 mg (January) - 33 mg (March 21st) - 32,5 mg (July 11) - 32 mg (July 27)

2017 March 28,2 mg and holding

 

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

You will get better, one day you will look back and realise that you are better than you were 

a month before. I think it is important to try and keep in contact with people even if it is for short

times. I lived alone and was completely isolated except for when my family called by. The longer

I went without seeing people the harder it became until I put people off visiting because I couldn't

cope. Social anxiety set in and it was hard to get back into speaking to people. 

 

My girls said I was "just not there" any more, I was out of it and couldn't follow a conversation. 

Your brain is remarkable and is at work right now healing itself.  When you feel bad remind yourself that

your brain is healing.  Have a look through the self help section and see if there is anything in there that

you think might help. There are lots of threads with experiences from lots of members on supplements 

and activities.  :)

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

I know you're feeling impatient and anxious that things aren't improving fast enough, but please don't worry yourself.  We have actually seen this before, with young people about your age, very short use of meds, strong bad reaction, and then having this kind of depersonalization, sometimes emotional numbness and anhedonia, sometimes sexual problems, sometimes increased anxiety, lack of tolerance of stress, usually a bit of a mix of them. Whatever it is, it goes on much longer than people say it should, and much longer than you'd expect given such short use of the drugs. 


 


It can go on for months. There will be a roller coaster type pattern, with things being better one day, then worse, etc. Over time the better days will become more frequent and more better, and the worse days will decline, until gradually you will realize you're feeling quite a bit better.


 


So these are not empty reassurances we are giving you. You are definitely going to recover fully, as long as you can avoid the pressure to use more meds. Try to relax, try not to stress about how weird the world seems to you now. Just imagine it like you have a weird but limited disease condition that is going to pass; that happens to people, you know, and people get through it. 


 


Your brain will actually heal and recover faster if you don't stress yourself out about how weird it is. You're doing things right--calming stuff, gentle exercise, meditate if you can or just relax and chill, enjoy the breeze in the trees, listen to birds, whatever makes you feel sort of gentled and calm. Take care of your body. Don't overdo anything. 


 


You don't need to push with sudoku or anything else to force your brain to get its function back. It's going to come back. It doesn't need effort on your part. It just needs gentle time and space to rebalance itself.


 


You don't know me well, but people who've been around this forum for a while know that I don't mince words and I don't offer empty assurances when I don't think they're warranted. I'm a bit notorious for telling people hard truths. If I say I am very confident you're going to be just fine, it's because I really am that confident.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

Link to post

@Mjau - Mm yeah I would say exhausted is a pretty apt word, I just find it immensely difficult to form sentences and engage in conversation and I keep, what I call, /frosting/ over and staring blankly at people unable to process what they're saying or talk properly - and when I do the words come out slightly jumbled, strange, and not what I'm used to. I'm used to being able to talk very quickly about pretty much anything and engage in spanning conversations and now it's as though my brain can only manage a few terse words and really basic sentences and concepts - like a small child. This is also coupled with the terrible social anxiety I've developed in actually talking to people so I just sort of hide away. The more I do that, the harder it resultantly becomes to talk to people - which then increases the anxiety - it's like a cycle. It's also like there's no-one inside me and I'm not a person, so it's so counter intuitive and scary to engage with other human beings when I don't feel like one myself. Because of this everyone sort of asks me what's wrong and why I'm so quiet and talking so strangely and so on - is it possible that I've developed some sort of mild asbergers syndrome? It's pretty much the same in calm and busy environments both - however I feel less overwhelmed in calm environments I'd say. I have been to school and it's not been great. I'd liken it to drowning - and everyone else is just around me swimming around perfectly normally and I just can't interact with them or tell them what's wrong through all the water above me. So to avoid social situations I've been hiding in toilets and avoiding people. I've found organisation and purchasing things and just general functioning to be very difficult. I get very anxious, can't interact with people, freeze up and can't do it properly. The other week I just stood there for about 10 minutes unable to choose between buying a salad or a sandwich - and in the end had to get someone else to decide for me because it was as though I simply wasn't able to conduct the function of choice or decision making.

 

@mammap - Yeah I'd say I'm going through a similar thing - so I'm trying to push myself through the anxiety and talk to people but everytime I do it makes me feel stranger and everyone picks up on the fact that something is wrong. What helped you to get back to being able to engage and interact and follow conversations?

 

@Rhi - Thanks for the reassurance - I've gotten so much blind reassurance from people in my life and doctors that there's naught wrong with me - people saying 'oh you're fine', 'what are you talking about you are a person' and 'I'm sure you can understand and process things - your cognition is fine' et cetera so it is good to hear from someone who actually recognises what I'm going through and also understands my impatience.

 

I guess the thing is I want some evidence in myself of progress -as you say, an hour or so or day where things feel mildly better or at least stable - and as is things just seem to be spiralling downward with no let up what so ever. I'm trying to avoid stress and meditate and self-care and so on and at the moment that seems to be my only plan in order to get better.

 

Another thing too, I'm still getting these frightening sensations in my head - it feels like specific parts of my head are dissolving inward - just like parts of my brain are shutting down and shrinking and dissolving. What is this? I know that stress and anxiety can actually shrink the brain and the hippocampus and cause a loss in brain cells and neurons - is this what I'm feeling? it's very scary and it's new and it won't go away.

 

It also feels like I'm hanging on by a thread. Every time these pains go on and things happen it feels like I'm being chopped down a little more - as though I and my  awareness is like a log of wood that is being hacked at even more. I keep feeling like I'm about to leap out of my body, too. Is this to do with the drugs? It did start I took them...

 

Thanks all for all the support and stuff, though!

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

Link to post

Oh! Just another bit of contextual information, I'm unsure if this has any bearing, but I also have dyspraxia - it's always affected my organisation and handwriting and stuff but I've never really found it affect my cognition and that sort of thing however I am aware that it can. Do you think there's any link or is there any reason why someone with dyspraxia would be more prone to some of these things happening? Or perhaps I'm just clutching at straws!

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

Link to post
  • Administrator

If you mean a link to withdrawal difficulties -- no, there's no link to dyspraxia.

 

You will very gradually recover from the adverse effects, in irregular steps.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post

Yeah I meant in terms of it affecting my cognition, processing and speech difficulties - but yeah I probably am clutching at straws here. It's as though I've become a different person altogether and I don't like it. :(

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

Link to post
  • Administrator

You'll have to be patient and take good care of yourself to help your nervous system gradually recover.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post
  • 3 weeks later...

Hi all! Just an update really. Things are no better, it seems and I feel like I've lost myself and all parts of me completely. I'm feeling no signs of recovery and am just feeling empty and nothing and like a different, suddenly stupid person. I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't socialise anymore and when I do I just can't speak and have nothing to say to people, I can't write properly anymore and do any of my essays or do any work properly or engage in lessons and life just feels wrong? My whole experience of the world is dull and I have no idea how I'm going to survive in it anymore. Ugh. Why is this still going on!?! Maybe I've just changed for good...

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

Things will get better, your brain and nervous system are healing. I once saw a documentary about the 'flu.

All the awful symptoms meant the body is working hard to get rid of the virus. The nose runs to eliminate it.

the cough is the lungs expelling it. It was fascinating and that is how I think of withdrawal.  The symptoms are

signs that the body is healing. Things will change, then something else will start up and something else will

stop. All part of the healing process. Our brains are remarkable and can regrow, neuroplasticity. 

 

I can imagine how hard it is for you. When my daughter was 14 she became very ill with glandular fever which

went into M.E. One doctor wanted her on medication for epilepsy for life but she refused and I backed her up.

She was ill for 4 years but got better. At the start she felt like she couldn't carry on and couldn't live like that

but it did pass. You are at the start of your journey that is a very rocky road too, but you will get to the end and

somewhere along that road it will become smoother and an easier ride until you are cruising in the fast lane,

hopefully it will not be a very long road, just a very bumpy one .  ;)

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

Link to post

Thanks. It's hard to see any hope really but everyone's telling me I will get myself back and life will feel the way it did again and even though I can't see that happening I supposes I just have to have hope really. It's just sort of like my humanity's been stripped from me. My emotions, my depth, my intelligence, my personality, my social interaction abilities and everything. Could there be another reason for this other than just the two doses of zoloft I took? I just feel so empty and I don't want to anymore. I feel I'm losing friends and failing in school and not enjoying or making the most of my life and I'm just desperate to. :(

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

Link to post

Please help. :(

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

Link to post

I'm sorry to hear your condition hasn't improved yet. But don’t give up!!

 

You wondered if there could be any other cause to your symptoms. I checked up some info about depersonalisation disorder on the web, mostly Wikipedia. I read it can be caused by drugs, bensodiazepines were mentioned - you took Valium (which is a benso), right? The risk is higher for young people. Other reasons for the disorder can be a previous traumatizing event or prolonged stress. Sleep deprivation can also trigger it. You wrote that you had a lot of stress (which was the reason you sought help in the first place).

 

Maybe the reason for you present condition is stress + sertraline + Valium?

Please note that I’m not an expert in the field though!!

 

I've read posts from other people who had really bad symptoms (akathisia) only after a very short period of taking the drugs and the reactions continued for some months.

 

There are some dp/dr communities on the web where you can find more info - on one of them (dpselfhelp.com) I actually read about a person who got similar symptoms as you after taking lexapro which is another ssri.

 

Can you engage in discussions with other people? I read that talking/chatting with others can sometimes distract oneself from dp-symptoms.

 

Hope you'll get better soon!

1997-1999 Citalopram 20 mg

1999-2014 Sertraline 50 mg

2012 Sertraline very quick taper due to side effects. Switched to Wellbutrin 150 mg-300 mg. Reinstated Sertraline 25 mg-50 mg.

2013 Exhaustion. Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sertraline 75 mg-100 mg.

Sept 2014 Found this site. Started tapering. Sertraline 87,5 mg + Wellbutrin 150 mg 

Aug 2015 No more Wellbutrin!! Sertraline 50 mg

2016 Sertraline 35 mg (January) - 33 mg (March 21st) - 32,5 mg (July 11) - 32 mg (July 27)

2017 March 28,2 mg and holding

 

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

Alex are you still taking any supplements? 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

Link to post
  • Administrator

Alex, I know you feel you're alone but many people here have had symptoms very similar to yours and felt the same way about them.

 

So you're normal for an adverse reaction to psychiatric drugs!

 

Please think in terms of very gradual healing.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post
  • 3 weeks later...

Hello,

@Mjau - The existential crisis, stress, isolation and drugs are what I believe to have led to this, yes - but I don't really know how to reverse that. 

@mammap - Yes, I'm taking fish oil supplements still.

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

Link to post

Anyway, I need urgent help - I've just been to see a new psychiatrist and he told me that he thinks what I'm experiencing, the dulling down of my personality, intelligence, social skills etc, is a psychotic disorder, he said he'd call it an 'at risk mental state' before he would diagnose me with something like bipolar or schizophrenia - and that because the way I'm feeling could supposedly turn into a full blown psychosis or schizophrenia I need to go on medication before that happens. He told me that I shouldn't worry myself trying to understand what's wrong with me but that I should just 'trust the professionals' and do what he says. I'm really confused as I thought I'd extensively ruled out anything psychotic with my last psychiatrist and I don't understand how me feeling impaired in terms of my personality and intelligence and unlike my old self is anything psychotic - he said I'm out of touch with reality but that's not true? One of his examples of me being out of touch with reality is that I still believe the sertraline had a negative effect on me (beyond agitation and restlessness, because he accepts that as he says it's 'scientifically proven that sertraline can cause that, but not the other symptoms I'm having.

 

Anyway, he prescribed me something called 'Aripiprazole' (abilify)- which, when asked, he said would help with all of the cognitive and personality abilities I 'feel I've lost'. However I googled it and I can find no-where any mention of it being able to help any of my symptoms, and all I can find is vague articles saying it is an antipsychotic that helps with schizophrenia or bipolar. I'm so confused! I don't want to take it - and the term 'anti psychotic' scares me, as well as a diagnosis of a psychotic type illness - when I thought that had been ruled out and what I was experiencing was 'depersonalization disorder' (Which this psychiatrist had never seemed to have heard of). However I am just desperate to get better and feel myself again and I'm warned that I'll get worse unless I don't take it. Please, does anyone have any advice or information both in general about my situation and specifically about Abilify.

 

Please, please, please help - I can't see the psychiatrist again until February, my Dad is having a psychotic episode so I can't talk to him for advice and my Mum just doesn't seem to care anymore, beyond wanting to pump me full of pills. 

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

Link to post

Hello there,

I hope you are doing well.

What did you decide about taking the abilify?

April 2014 remeron 45mg.

June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added

September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!!

Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0

Currently

Remeron 7.5

Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years

October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day

Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so

Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems.

August 2015 down to 0.1 mg

Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg.

Link to post

I don't know! I have the prescription but I don't know if I should take it...

Medication History

6/14-Started (50mg) 5 HTP, rescue remedy,kalms,herbal nightol,antihistamine,

7/14-Discontinued 5 HTP

8/14-Took 2 doses of Sertraline (Zoloft) (50mg)

8/14-paracetemol and contiuined 5htp and nightol and rescue remedy - also vitamin b complex

8/14 started 2mg valium

9/14 stopped 2mg valium

10/14 started omega 3

 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to alexrosear: my introduction

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