alexrosear: my introduction

[alexrosear]

On 10/7/2019 at 8:17 PM, India said:

Cognitive dissonance. Ppl will believe anything before they will believe the meds are anything but benign. I have the chemical lobotomy too. Totally drug induced- my mind was always vibrant!

How long have you had it for? I took the zoloft when i was 17 in 2014. so 5 years now. im 22 and my 'proper self' feels like a distant memory. it's hard to imagine being/feeling anthing other than this highly highly reduced/damaged version - i struggle to explain it and people don't believe it because they expect brain damage to mean severe musculuar disruption etc. But I struggle to explain it, it's like most of my brain is missing and my personality and imagination and feelings and self and emotions, the rugs affected my brain in a nuanced and impossible to understand way and sucked the life out of me/my mind, even though i am sill functional in one ense. but people won't believe this and think my issue is that i think there is an issue. how can i ever recover or get better ? if noone understands let alone beleives how i feel - there is no cure or treatment. I've felt this way for years and now it simply feels like its become my unavodiable reality - i feel i am on no steps to recovery regardless of how much i do all the positive things people suggest, get exercise, go to therapy etc. i feel broken, emotonless, depthless, like a zombie essentially with half a mind.

[India]

Quoted from one of the members of  “let’s talk withdrawal podcast Facebook group”

Dr. A Parry is private but recognises adverse reactions/  toxicity from ssri’s. I will reply but in the meantime this could help? 

Conventional Drs who recognise withdrawal and adverse reactions:

U.K.

-Dr Healy, Psychiatrist, Wales
  http://www.benzo.org.uk/healy.htm
-Dr Allyson Parry, Neurologist, Oxford
-Joanna Moncrieff, Psychiatrist, UCL
  j.moncrieff@ucl.ac.uk 
  https://joannamoncrieff.com/
-James Davies, Psychotherapist, University of Roehampton
  https://jamesdaviesauthor.com/
  jp.davies@roehampton.ac.uk 
-Professor Kinderman, Clinical Psychology, University of Liverpool
  p.kinderman@liverpool.ac.uk

U.S.

-Dr Paul Breggin
  psychiatricdrugfacts@hotmail.com
-Shapiro
-Raymond Singer, Forensic and Clinical Neuropsychologist (Neurotoxicity specialist)
  http://neurotox.com/
  Ray.singer@gmail.com
-Julie Holland, Psychiatrist, Pharmacology expert, New York
-Dr Sherry Rogers, M.D.
Www.prestigepublishing.com
No email address. Telephone number yes
www.naturalmood.com
jholland@inch.com (email address doesn't work)
-Dr Glenmullen, 
  http://drglenmullen.com/?page_id=28
No direct email address. Contact through website.
-Dr David Hartman
drdavidhartman@forensicneuropsychology.net

Denmark

-Professor Gotzsche, Professor in clinical research design & analysis, and a specialist in   internal medicine.  
pcg@cochrane.dk

Functional practitioners/therapies:
-Cease homeopathy
http://www.cease-therapy.com/make-appointment/all-certified-practitioners/united-kingdom
-Acupunture and Chinese herbs
https://www.acupuncture.org.uk/component/com_quickfap/view,results/
-Ayurvedic medicine
http://apa.uk.com/find-a-practitioner
-Nutritionists who specialises in genetics and how we metabolise medications
https://mthfrsupport.com/find-a-practitioner/
https://www.functionalmedicine.org/practitioner_detail.aspx?practitioner_id=40379&ref_page_id=117
-Nutritionist
https://www.functionalmedicine.org/practitioner_detail.aspx?practitioner_id=55411&ref_page_id=117
http://www.lindaburke.co.uk/about-us
-Functional medical Dr
https://www.functionalmedicine.org/practitioner_detail.aspx?practitioner_id=18352&ref_page_id=117
https://www.functionalmedicine.org/practitioner_detail.aspx?practitioner_id=18439&ref_page_id=117
http://invigorateclinic.com/
-Chiropractor plus nutrition 
https://www.functionalmedicine.org/practitioner_detail.aspx?practitioner_id=9408&ref_page_id=117

American functional practitioners who look into brain stuff/toxins (can probably Skype):
http://www.integratedhealthdenver.com/conditions-weve-helped/
https://mthfrsupport.com/find-a-practitioner/

Brain training therapy:

Ashok Gupta: ART: http://www.guptaprogramme.com/mcs-multiple-chemical-sensitivity-treatment/
Annie Hopper: DNRS: https://retrainingthebrain.com/history/
Robin Shapiro: EMDR: https://www.emdr.com/francine-shapiro-ph-d/

[India]

59 minutes ago, alexrosear said:

How long have you had it for? I took the zoloft when i was 17 in 2014.

One whole year and counting 😢

It scares me too. I was very creative. , I wrote poetry, I had a specific way of looking at and feeling the world. That depth is gone . I fell in love for a bit— that helped a tiny bit— I felt my body respond but I get what you mean about the zombie like feeling. I see it as a brain injury . I believe you! Many here do.

[Dewalt]

Hi,

 

Just wanted to say that I also very much relate to how you feel.  It's difficult to make choices to make your life better when every emotion is so dulled that it has little importance.  I feel more of a need to just have a habitual life and little want for arguments or disagreements with people.  I don't care to put my own viewpoint forward as much as I used to.  The feelings about it just kind of fly up and vanish.  It feels mostly that my inner life is gone and I no longer draw, write, or create much, if at all, and nothing is on par with what I used to create when I do.  My internal language is gone.  It is so hard to know what to value anymore.  

 

Things that have helped me for a time possibly - hard to know because I'm still about 6 months :

Amino Acids helped me some with PSSD but some can cause kidney damage so...can't rely on those.  Some also increase Herpes outbreaks, which I now have on my face thanks to an unknowing boyfriend, so they may not be a plausible course of action.  Not sure if I'll take them again but they did help with desire/motivation and numbness.

Strong antibiotics for diverticulitis changed my gut microbiome - and I was able to imagine again.  It's not as fluid as it was but I have moments when I can imagine, which is wonderful.  I now take probiotics as well as eat yogurt every day.  

Melatonin has helped me feel a tiny tiny bit more like myself.  I don't know if this is a good idea to take or not?  I've heard different advice in different antidepressant groups.

Listening to music I listened to in high school has helped me regain some sense of self I think.  

 

I have little faith in people nor doctors.  The worst is friends thinking that this lobotomized version of myself must be better because I'm in less pain - because I feel almost nothing.  That makes me feel more alienated and I isolate myself.  People understand nothing until they go through it themselves.  

[Altostrata]

@alexrosear how are you doing?