PSO: Just introducing myself and my problems!

[PSO]

Hello 

 

I have just found this site after trawling the internet for some hope. 

 

I am about five months into stopping SSRI's mostly citalopram, I have been on them for over 10 years. 

 

I am very scared reading all these posts that it is going to take years to start to feel better. 

 

I tapered down over a period of months and had the usual brain zaps and managed those ok.  I had a real problem sleeping but that has got better recently. 

 

About two weeks ago I went on holiday and had a major crash.  I have never felt so depressed and anxious in my whole life.  It really shocked me as I felt I was doing really well and was winning. 

 

Since coming back of holiday I did some research into vitamins, I am a vegetarian and feel that I might have been put on the tablets in the first place as I was probably B12 deficient which was causing depression.  Over the past week I have started taking fish oil and vitamin b complex vitamins. 

 

I am all over the place, have one good day and a really bad day the next.  I am at a point where I am finding it hard to function on a daily basis and have considered going back to my doctor for help.  Am I too late to reinstate some of my medication?

 

I am not sure I can cope with the depression and anxiety for years, this is going to be much worse that I first thought.

 

Simon 

[mammaP]

Hi PSO, welcome to SA. Before we can make any suggestions could you tell us what other 

drugs you have stopped? It seems there was more then citalopram and it would help us

to know what they were.   It would be great if you could put that info in your signature strip.

There is a link at the top of my signature that tells you how to do that.  How did you taper, 

and the doses you were on will be very helpful. 

 

You might well be helped by B12 supplements but many members find other b vitamins too 

activating in withdrawal. Good quality fish oil and magnesium help most people with withdrawal

symptoms.  

 

Reinstating may help at a very very tiny dose but that is not guaranteed after so long. We can

think about that when we have more information.

[PSO]

Hi Mammap

Thank you for getting back to me.

 

I started on seroxat for about a year then into citalipram then at the end for about four months was put onto venlafaxine.

 

I went onto the last medication as I felt the citralipram wasn't working and spending days in bed and not doing anything feeling down all the time. I then thought I am feeling awful on these pills I might as well not have them.

 

I felt dreadful today very depressed tired a fogged mind. I had a sleep and feel a bit better but scared what I will feel like tomorrow.

 

Thanks again

 

Simon

[mammaP]

Were you taking citalopram along with the venlalic?  Lots of us have had the same 

experience after several years on ssri's . Some call it 'poop out' when the drugs start to make you

feel worse. Did the venlalic help at all when you went on it? 

[PSO]

No not with it instead of it. It didn't make any difference apart from making me feel more numb. That is why I decided to stop it. I felt they weren't helping anymore.

[mammaP]

OK thanks PSO.   You could try reinstating a tiny dose of venlafaxine, as that is the last one you were taking

for 4 months. It is a long shot but it might help. Just 5 beads from a capsule might be enough to make a difference.

If it makes you feel worse then stop immediately. Venlafaxine is available in a liquid which would be easier to taper

once stabilised. It would also be better for the low dose because the beads tend to vary in size so doses are a

little inconsistent. I am tapering venlafaxine and 5 beads equals around 1mg. 

 

See here for info about reinstating. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3079-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-stop-withdrawal-symptoms/

 

Tapering venlafaxine  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/272-tapering-off-effexor-venlafaxine/

 

If you decide against reinstating there are many excellent topics in the self care forums that will help you to understand

what is happening to you and the best ways to deal with the symptoms.  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/

[PSO]

Thank you for all your time and help

 

I currently have venlalic xl 150 mg here. I was cutting these up to taper but I am not sure that was the right thing to do?

 

I am actually scared to death of the prospect of having waves and windows for years and feel a life on these pills might be better.

 

The waves I have been having are the worst thing I have experienced. At the lowest points to be dead would be a relief.

[mammaP]

Cutting them up to get such a tiny dose will be very difficult, and they are extended release which means the

drug is released over 24 hours. Cutting them means that it is released immediately so the dose would need 

to be split and taken twice a day.  Could you ask your doctor for the liquid venlafaxine? My doctor didnt want to

give it to me but I insisted politely but firmly that I wanted the lowest dose possible and that meant using liquid. 

Sadly I had an allergic reaction to something else in it and had to stick with the beads. 

I hope that you can find a way to do this and that it helps you to feel better. 

[Rhiannon]

PSO, when you get the chance, could you put your drug history in your sig line? Like this:

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Thanks, it makes it easier for us to see at a glance where you're at and what kind of support might be helpful.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, PSO.

 

How long were you taking citalopram? Did you take venlafaxine after citalopram?

 

How long did you take venlafaxine? How did you feel while you were on venlafaxine?

 

How did you switch from paroxetine to citalopram? Did you have any symptoms from the switch?

 

How did you switch from citalopram to venlafaxine? Did you have any symptoms from the switch?

 

How did you go off the last drug you went off, and how long have you been off all antidepressants altogether? Are you taking any other drugs?

 

When did the brain zaps start?

[PSO]

Hi Altostrata

 

I was taking citalopram for about 10 years I think, then too venlaxafine as I must have pooped out on citalopram.  I had been dropping the doses and tapering the citalopram which was not done in a scientific way I was just trying to reduce the dose. I was probably taking about 30mg a day most of the time.

 

While on venlafaxine I didn't feel any better, I was prescribed 150mg and was cutting them in half as I didn't want the full dose, I believe I shouldn't have done that as they were the slow withdrawal ones, another mistake.

 

When changing from one to another I was just switched not tapering to anything and I don't think I had much of a problem doing that at all. 

 

I tapered the last drug for about two months thats all.  

 

I have been of all AD's now for about 5 months and not taking any medication at all.  

 

I am up and down, I had problems sleeping at first which have now resolved apart from sometimes very vivid dreams which are scary in a psychological way, evil like my mind attacking me.  Not all that time though.

 

I am taking each day as it comes and the last couple of days have been ok, when I get tired I have some bad thoughts come in that make me anxious and a bit depressed, some days I just feel in a fog and can't function, depressed and anxious and very very down and negative. 

 

The brain zaps started as I was tapering and then went, I have no physical symptoms at the moment. 

 

I am currently taking vitamin b12 supplements and fish oil.  I did try 5htp a couple of times which made me feel tired and had a really bad low mood swing after them, I have avoided them since. 

 

Can someone tell me what you mean by saying b12 is too harsh?  Should I stop this? What would magnesium do?

 

I am not sure if I should try a small dose but I would need to cut up the slow release tablets I have and have no idea how much.  

 

I am worried about riding this out for years and years though, I guess my other alternative is to go back to my doctor and he will just put me on another drug, hope it works and I get stable and taper much much slower than before. 

 

Any advise is very welcome. 

 

Thank you all 

[Altostrata]

After you did a cold switch from citalopram to venlafaxine, how did you feel on the venlafaxine?

 

You were on venlafaxine for 4 months then, correct?

 

The brain zaps started when you were tapering venlafaxine, not before, correct?

 

Have you had any reactions, good or bad, to taking B12?

[PSO]

After you did a cold switch from citalopram to venlafaxine, how did you feel on the venlafaxine?

 

You were on venlafaxine for 4 months then, correct?

 

The brain zaps started when you were tapering venlafaxine, not before, correct?

 

Have you had any reactions, good or bad, to taking B12?

I didn't notice any difference but I think that I was probably withdrawing from citralaptam at the time.

 

I have booked an appointment for Thursday with my doctor with the hope I may be able to get a prescription for citralipram and start a small dose to see if it helps then taper from there.

 

I have been taking fish oil and b complex vitamins. I have no idea what they are doing or if they are helping. I am stopping the b complex for the time being as I have been more anxious and over emotional.

 

I am just at a loss as to what is happening and what to do. The doctor seemed the obvious choice. I will see what I am told and then take it from there.

 

Thank you

[Altostrata]

PSO, it would help very much if you would answer my questions!

 

Did the brain zaps start while you were taking venlafaxine, before you took venlafaxine, or after you quit???????????????

[PSO]

Hi

 

The brain zaps started after the cit and whilst on venlaxafine

 

Thank you

[Patoski]

Hi pso I'm sorry to hear your suffering I'm off antidepressants the same time as you and I'm going through a rough old time myself but I'm not going to make the mistake I made when I came off bensos keep going back up on the medication i know a thing or two about withdrawel and I know to hide in the eye of the storm when the winds of withdrawel and depression start blowing I also know that they are both the mother of all liars they tell me I am going to feel like this forever but thank God they do not have this power it has to change I know the only thing that aids my recovery is me being positive when I add any supplements to help my recovery I always feel worse of course I know we are all different people on this tragic round about and my purpose of sharing is to encourage not to Direct I know that if I get to my next window with out a drug I am winning and if I become negative I get on to a fellow sufferer or on to this site and that gets me back on track I wish you well pso and believe it's do able

[Altostrata]

Okay, the brain zaps indicate you were experiencing citalopram withdrawal while you were on venlafaxine.

 

Since the venlafaxine didn't help at all, reinstatement of a very small dose of citalopram, perhaps 1mg to start, seems like the experiment to undertake.

 

Citalopram comes in a liquid form for easy titration, see Tips for tapering off Celexa (citalopram)