jen84: Effexor withdrawal

[jen84]

this is from today, December 11th.

Overall, it was a much better day than yesterday.

 

6am- woke up, mild to moderate anxiety

6:30- took 5mg wellbutrin, 25mg magnesium, ate breakfast

7:30- arrived at work, anxiety is lingering

9- anxiety going away

10:30- anxiety picking up slightly.

11- took 25mg magnesium

12- ate lunch, feeling anxious for an upcoming meeting

2- arrived at meeting, feeling ok

3- feeling really good, some anxiety still present

4- anxiety may have picked up slightly

6- feeling good again

6:30- took 25mg magnesium

7:30- took 5mg wellbutrin, anxiety picking up, this is the worst its been all day. Ate dinner

9- went to bed.

[jen84]

Weds, Dec 12th

6:00 am- woke up, moderate to high anxiety

6:30- took 5mg wellbutrin, 25mg magnesium

7:30- starting to feel less anxious

7:45- arrived at work

10- arrived at acupuncture apt, feeling nervous

12- back to work. Ate lunch. Less anxious

1- feeling really tired

3- minor anxiety, still quite tired

4:30- anxiety picking up

5:30- took 25mg magnesium

6:30- took 5mg wellbutrin. Anxiety picking up

6:45- fairly high anxiety

7- anxiety is the worst its been all day

7:20- ate dinner

7:45- did mild yoga, started feeling better

8- getting ready for bed.

 

 

[jen84]

Overall, today was a better day. I was very tired for most of the day. I'm having lots of difficulty focussing on work, it's really hard to stay motivated. I've been trying to eat less gluten the past few weeks. Today I had some non gluten free chips, and that's when the anxiety picked up, around 6pm or so. I dont know if the two are related, but I'll be watching that more closely from now on.

 

The acupuncture went really well. She was very understanding and empathetic for what I'm going through. I have another apt next week. 

 

I've been reading up on CBT oil, I may order some to have on hand for the really hard day's. 

[jen84]

Again last night I woke up to anxiety. I'm not sure the time, but it must have been around 2 or 3 am. It's weird, I've never had that.

 

Overall, I would say my obsessive thoughts are lessening about the relationship. But instead of feeling anxious about my partner, now I feel sadness, and emptiness. I don't get that super tight chest feeling anymore, but I know I'm still anxious. It's just an awkward, new feeling. We had a meeting with a mortgage broker a few days ago, and as we sat in that meeting I knew he was the one, I was so in love.

 

This morning i woke up with very high anxiety, it usually takes me a half hour to finally get out of bed. When I wake this anxiousness, it's so hard to talk or move, like I'm stoned with fear and anxiety.

[jen84]

Today was another rough day. Not sure if it was from the acupuncture. I felt very spaced out, couldn't concentrate for the life of me, anxiety to the max. I did have a break from it about mid day, but it picked up again. I am thinking about increasing a bit as this is almost unbearable, but I'll give it a few more days to see if this clears at all. I stood in line at the grocery store today and it took all i had to not cry. This is my journal from today.

2:30am- woke up with brutal anxiety 

6- alarm went off, major anxiety

6:20- got out of bed, major anxiety, took 5mg wellbutrin, took 25mg magnesium

7:30- left for work, anxiety still lingering

9- anxiety easing, minimally

9:30- ate breakfast

10- feeling emotional, sad and depressed

12- anxiety easing, minimally.

12:10- feeling depressed

1- no relief, tried tapping, didn't help

1:30- realized my symptoms may be from acupuncture, feeling better

2- concentration coming back a bit, anxiety easing

4:30- got home. Anxiety picking up

5- brutal anxiety

5:30- took 5mg wellbutrin, took 25mg magnesium

6- anxiety easing up slightly

6:30- did 20 mins of light yoga

7- anxiety hanging on

8- going to bed.

[jen84]

If I were to increase my dose, what would I go up to? I need some sort of stability, and if increasing gives me that, then that's what I'll do, this is terrible. I can't stop crying, my chest feels like it's going to explode, my mind is going a hundred mile an hour. I don't know what to do.

[jen84]

I've called in sick to work today. I woke up with pretty bad anxiety anxiety again and I feel a bit nauseous. 

 

Can someone please tell me what I should do? Should i hold at this dose and ride it out? Increase a bit? What about transferring to a different drug completely? I can't handle this amount of anxiety anymore and need guidance on how to move forward. 

[Marmot]

Hey Jen, So sorry to hear that this is happening to you 😔. I don't know what you should do regarding the taper to relieve the anxiety. I really hope that a moderator will be around sometime soon to help with that. It sounds so stressful. I was just reading back in your thread, and in 2014 you said that you had accomplished something much more difficult before. I believe you can make it through this! Sending love. 

 

By the way, do you have a Christmas tree yet? 

[jen84]

Hi Marmot, no Christmas tree this year, we will be away most of the holidays, so it didnt really make sense to put one up. Have you put one up?

 

Im not really sure what to do about my anxiety. I would like to increase my dose tonight as I am desperate for some sort of relief. I just don't know how much to go up by.

 

I didn't get out of bed all day today, this is really unusual for me. I've called around for CBD products in my town, and a store will have some in stock on sunday or Monday. 

[ChessieCat]

37 minutes ago, jen84 said:

 

Im having a pretty rough time lately and you had suggested increasing my dose a little bit, im just not sure how much to increase it by. I'd like to start tonight as I'm desperate to get some sort of normalcy back. I've also posted 4 days worth of mood tracking, i tried to do it today as well, but I haven't left my bed all day. Tonight is getting easier as I'm getting some cleaning done, but my emotions are all over the map.

 

 

I appreciate any input you may have. Thanks.

 

 

I've quoted the question you asked in PM because you wanted a quick response and that way it keeps your history in one place and in context.

 

Q:  Did you feel okay on the previous dose your were taking before this reduction?

 

I am assuming that the information in your drug signature is correct.  On 5th November you went from 11.6mg to 10mg Wellbutrin.  A 10% reduction would have been 11.6mg x 0.9 = 10.44mg so your last reduction was more than 10% which may be why you are having difficulties.

 

Please note that your brain will have already made some changes adapting to less of the drug so you would not go back the previous dose.  You might find that a tiny 0.25mg or 0.5mg increase may be helpful.  It takes about 4 days for a dose change to get to full level in the blood and a bit longer for it to register in the brain.  I suggest that you continue to keep daily notes so you can see if the increase is helping.

 

It is better to do a small increase and then increase a bit more if needed, that to risk taking too much.

[jen84]

Thanks ChessieCat for the reply. Sorry my signature should say 11.2, not 11.6, i will update that. I will have to find a smaller syringe as I don't think the one I have right now will measure 0.25 mg. 

[jen84]

On my previous dose, the anxiety was always there, but I was at least able to get out of bed everyday. 

[Marmot]

2 hours ago, jen84 said:

Hi Marmot, no Christmas tree this year, we will be away most of the holidays, so it didnt really make sense to put one up. Have you put one up?

 

My dad lives upstairs and just put one up, so I'm covered as far as trees go. Hope your travels go well  .

[jen84]

I love it @Marmot, for me, that would be the perfect solution to the xmas tree. Have one close by that you can visit whenever, but not have to put it up or take it down. I dread that part of Xmas, I'm a bit of a grinch that way.

[ChessieCat]

1 hour ago, jen84 said:

my signature should say 11.2

 

That's still a bit more than a 10% reduction.  It would have been better to round up to 10.1mg.  Many members find that the lower their dose gets the slower they need to go by reducing less and/or holding longer.  Why taper paper: dose-occupancy curves

 

This is another option:  the-brassmonkey-slide-method-of-micro-tapering

 

1 hour ago, jen84 said:

I will have to find a smaller syringe as I don't think the one I have right now will measure 0.25 mg. 

 

Where to get oral syringes

[ChessieCat]

13 minutes ago, jen84 said:

I would like to try some CBD for my anxiety. I will be getting some with zero THC, or very very low doses of THC. I'll be picking it up in the next few days. Will post back after I've tried it. 

 

Only make one change at a time.  Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable

[jen84]

Hi @ChessieCat, I will be doing the brassmonkey slide taper as soon as I get some normalcy back. I've been reading up on it, and it sounds like the way to go for me.

 

Tonight i took 5.2mg of wellbutrin, and I dont know if it's a placebo effect or what, but i feel better already. My fogged head has lifted and the anxiety has eased a little bit. I still feel out of it, but not near as bad as today. I felt a difference within 20 minutes of taking it. 

 

Thanks for the link to the syringes. I will look through there on where to find one.

[jen84]

Today was a much better day. I still woke up with moderate anxiety, but by mid morning it was gone, and I was having a wide open window! We went skiing this morning, and we had a lot of laughs and good chats. I guess I now know when I am experiencing anxiety, it's any time im having bad thoughts about the relationship. I hope I can use that somehow in my next wave.

 

Anyways, i don't know if my window was because of my increase or if it was going to happen anyways. Last night within 20 minutes of taking my increased dose, my head felt more clear than it has all week. I was still anxious and emotional, but I could concentrate. My anxiety is picking up a bit tonight, but it's a manageable level. Is it normal to feel a difference within 20 minutes? Or was it more of a placebo effect? 

 

For today, this is how it went down:

7:00am- woke up, moderate anxiety

8- took 5.2mg wellbutrin and 25mg magnesium

8:30- anxiety still lingering, moderate to high

9:30- anxiety starting to ease

1- anxiety sneaking back in, mild

4- mild anxiety hanging around, took 25mg magnesium

6:45- took 5.2 mg wellbutrin and 25mg magnesium.

8- anxiety picking up

9- low to moderate anxiety

9:30 going to bed. Anxiety lingering.

 

[ChessieCat]

Other members have mentioned noticing a difference not long after taking their dose, both improvement and worsening.  For you it may have been that you had been stressed whilst deciding whether to updose the when you had finally made a decision and acted on it so you felt more relaxed.  Some members report feeling worse shortly after taking extra, which may be the opposite, in that they become more stressed worrying about their decision.  These are just some thoughts of mine.

 

My own experience was feeling the different after about 4 hours.  I had reduced my Pristiq 100mg to 50mg for 2 weeks and experienced extreme cog fog (walking took my whole concentration) and I got to the stage where I was unable to type.  Having been a professional typist for 40+ years I knew that something was truly wrong.  Thankfully I had joined SA a few days before I couldn't type and they had suggested increasing my dose.  I did this and about 4 hours later I could type again and the cog fog was lifting.  There was no way in the world that it was placebo.

[btdt]

if you read nothing in this post read the part about the power of now... it helped me ... 

I have been away a long time and there is a thread hear some  place about intrusive thought.. I use to call them effexor thoughts... and try to ignore them.  If you look up intrusive thoughts you will find something here I am sure as it is very common.  

 

I copied this from a post I made to another person as I am over extended now and not up to putting it together too rusty now and tired.

 

  Magnesium is helpful to me but same story with that I take it a tiny amount when I feel stressed... I grind it in the coffee grinder and take a bit of the powder I use 300mg mag citrate ground up ...only tiny amounts.  When I last took a whole pill I could not get off the couch for the wkend.  I don't want to risk a rebound type thing and I have no idea why I react to mag as I do I just do. 

Taurine I played with a bit again a tiny amount of a 500mg of now taurine... ok at times when I feel like I have had too much coffee... other times I don't like how it makes me feel. 

 

Now for none drug ways... 

epson salt baths increases the magnesium in your body some of us have a better response to mag thru the skin the salts is not actually salt but magnesium... soaks the dead skin off your feet too and makes them soft so if you don't like how the bath fees try a foot soak ... great for body pain and jumpy legs too 

 

deep relaxation I swear by this one 

however you can get there for a time I could not stand much in the way of sound so I listened to a cd of ocean waves with a heating pad on my spine... it really helped and was the first solid bit of healing and peace I ever had.  

( the heating pad on the spine or any source of heat is suppose to increase the noripinephrine in your body/brain according to an article I read in a science journal ages ago... all I know is it helps me.  

Some times I will put the heat on the spine and cold pack on my neck sounds odd but great for a head ache with body pain. 

 

Stopping the thoughts old trick I got from the power of now... 

 

stop and focus intently on your next thought watch for it wait for it like your waiting for the sight of the love of your life I think the focus is a strong part of this... 

as soon as a thought comes vanquish it and go back to waiting... this stopped the run on subconscious part of the brain from doing the remote torture it has been so well trained to do... it really worked for me after a time of practise it worked like a charm.  Good to do before you really need it if you know what I mean but if you learn of it when you really need it like I did it still works it just needs more effort and is more difficult to do. 

 

When I get hit with a bad spot I turn off the news... who needs it even tv commercials for movies or other shows with negative plots I mute them... and tend to stay away from those channels completely... all those things are playing against you... avoid like the plague same for video games if you happen to be a player.... 

 

I believe that the subconscious brain does not know the difference between real and tv... so it takes in all that nonsense as real and reacts accordingly... if you play a war game all day ... YOU WILL NOT SLEEP... well I would not sleep I can't even be in the room where others are playing it 

 

I too can be good for a time then fall off the rails it is what it is... I keep waiting and hoping one day it will just settle and stay that way.  

 

Tapping I still do this sometimes tho when I first found it I was at my worst... I will send links to tapping and my fav relaxation video... hope it is of some service to you. 

 

here is my man for tapping this one is for depression there are others for anxiety ect

 

 

 

my relaxation fav

 

 

wow when I started with this it hardly had any views now 5 million can't be completely wrong 

 

most of all I wish you peace... peace is the prize in my book... the rest is gravy... first I need peace.  

peace to you 

[jen84]

@btdt thank you so much f9lor stopping by. Haha, of those 5 million viewsof the honest guys videos, probably 1 million of those views are from me. I find them very helpful with the sleep. 

 

I've actually been trying the tapping you suggested, I will watch the video you posted and fine tune my method.

 

It's "easy" to accept my thoughts when the anxiety is only low to moderate. It's when it gets into the high levels that I struggle. I will try your technique of vanquishing the thoughts, I know i am close to figuring this out, but I have a bad wave and it feels like I'm back to square 1. Your vanquishing technique I think is similar to me allowing the thoughts to come, but it adds a new layer in that I need to wait and focus. Before I was just letting the thoughts come, then letting them come. Would this be considering challenging the thoughts? Not to be confused with fighting, but rather subconsciously telling yourself you're not right?

 

I really like your suggestion of putting heat on the spine, I will give this a go. I wonder if they make heat bags you can Velcro around the body? 

 

I hope you're doing well BTDT, it's good to hear from you. 

[jen84]

Today was an ok day. My anxiety was minimal, and went up to moderate near 6pm or so. I will post my daily diary tomorrow. The anxiety lingered around for most of the day, but it was easier to manage. This whole accepting anxiety thing is much easier when the anxiety is only at low levels. When the Anxiety dial gets cranked though, that's when I suffer and can't get out of my head. 

[btdt]

On 12/17/2018 at 12:15 AM, jen84 said:

@btdt thank you so much f9lor stopping by. Haha, of those 5 million viewsof the honest guys videos, probably 1 million of those views are from me. I find them very helpful with the sleep. 

 

I've actually been trying the tapping you suggested, I will watch the video you posted and fine tune my method.

 

It's "easy" to accept my thoughts when the anxiety is only low to moderate. It's when it gets into the high levels that I struggle. I will try your technique of vanquishing the thoughts, I know i am close to figuring this out, but I have a bad wave and it feels like I'm back to square 1. Your vanquishing technique I think is similar to me allowing the thoughts to come, but it adds a new layer in that I need to wait and focus. Before I was just letting the thoughts come, then letting them come. Would this be considering challenging the thoughts? Not to be confused with fighting, but rather subconsciously telling yourself you're not right?

 

I really like your suggestion of putting heat on the spine, I will give this a go. I wonder if they make heat bags you can Velcro around the body? 

 

I hope you're doing well BTDT, it's good to hear from you. 

Well that clears up where those 5 million views came from the other 4 were from me  I have done both of those things let them come and stopped them cold... and it seems I do the let it come first generally even now... I got sucked into a tricylic type of antihistamine for a couple of wks and had a lot of crap come back up lately.  So all my old tools were rusty it was good for me to read your post as finding a post for you reminded me how I handled it in the past I tend to forget things.  I was doing the let it flow thru thing and it was not working worth a dam so tried the stop start over thing... it worked well enough to go to sleep.  This is what I feel is happening... some other part of the brain has to kick in to make the thought stop it is the part of the brain that is in the now and now over rules the other lizard brain that tries to rule... it is that simple ... when I first tried it the lizard brain won countless times... over and over I tried not sure how long it took for me to get it right but once it kicked in and stopped it dead in its tracks it worked flawlessly for years... and immediately once I had it I owned it.  Back to my recent crap I had to start over again as I had lost the skill due to not using it. Just now ear worms is a problem for me and it has not been for years... I actually like the song so let it go sometimes or sing along  but I have used this to stop the song too.   As for telling yourself your not right... the book the power of now talks of two brains.. one may be the subconscious brain I don't think he says for sure... both parts are all you but one runs on and on and on.... and while it is very useful at other things it can get a glitch and run on... the starting over when watching intently for the next thought requires focus and consciousness more an NOW thing like I am taking over this process right now and a CHOICE thing of what I will have NOW which I hope is some peace once you get the other part of the brain with the glitch to settle down.  I tend to look at this brain part as a task master that takes care of a million things without me having to focus too much on them so it is a good part to have and we owe it a great deal of thanks...treat it gently like you would a child who thinks it is helping.... but isn't....   when it is glitched it needs to be sorted.  It it is really hard to get this right in a stressful place so practice at home in your bed but once you have it perfected it works wonders and you can use it anyplace practice make perfect.  Since I need it again now I am going to go practice.  

end note

all parts of us are wondrous and deserve our love gentle care... self love is a choice one worth making. 

peace to you Jen 

[jen84]

Day 6 of my increase. My anxiety has definitely increased. Ugh. I'm trying to just let it come and facing my bad thoughts, not running from them. It's so weird, sometimes I feel the anxiety in my chest, but my mind is calm. I can actually sit in the anxiety and not have thoughts. Is this normal? Is it normal to have anxiety without having thoughts? I thought these two went hand in hand. Why have anxiety if you're not feeling anxious? Could this be a side effect of the wellbutrin? 

 

I tried tracking my mood today, but it was a very busy day. My mornings are brutal, I wake up frozen in anxiety and fear. Sometimes it takes all I have to get out of bed. Any tips or tricks to get over this?

 

I bought some CBD oil, it's really tempting to try it, but I'll wait a bit longer to see if my increase settles.

[jen84]

My anxiety is fairly high today. My thoughts are settling, but instead of the obsessive thoughts, I just feel empty around my partner. I know this is just the anxiety, as I don't feel this when I'm not anxious. I thought if I could have anxiety without the thoughts, id be able to manage. But this empty feeling is just as bad. The anxious feeling in the chest is almost painful.

 

I have acupuncture in a few hours, hoping this will provide some relief. 

[jen84]

Acuouncture went ok. I broke down in front of her before we started, and had a good cry. She was very empathetic to me, and it was nice having someone on the outside of my life listen. She only did a few needles this time, as last time I couldnt get out of bed for 2 days following the treatment. My anxiety improved maybe 50%. I had an Epsom salt bath tonight and am feeling a bit more relaxed. The anxiety is still there. 

 

I have a year end meeting with my boss and project manager tomorrow, I am dreading it. They kind of know what I'm going through, but I don't know if I'll be able to make it through without crying. 

 

My morning cortisol spikes are terrible, I wake up frozen in fear and anxiety. This has not always been, in fact I think it started a month ago with my last decrease. Maybe I had it before, i can't remember and I dont have notes about it. 

[btdt]

I am using this helps with pain muscle tension and anxiety costs 10 bucks I use it for deodorant since I can't have normal one on my body because they all have chemicals. The chest thing could be more than spasms known to happen too.  Since I did not taper I can't relate to the symptoms of drops seems to me withdrawal comes in waves in cold turkey was very much the same in the wave department but very intense  understatement  

[jen84]

Sometimes I think cold turkey would be easier than what I'm going through, but I know the pain will pass and I'll be feeling better soon. Just some things ive noticed over the past few weeks while I've been in very high anxiety mode. Hair loss, irregular/ non existent bowel movements, tired, low energy, weight gain, no appetite, no ambition, loss of interest in activities I enjoy.

 

I think tonight my mind is starting to settle. For most of the day today I was in anxious mode. Not so much the tight chest, but the racing thoughts and catastrophizing everything in my life. I finally got control of my thoughts, and am feeling slightly better tonight. Today was my last day of work for 3 weeks, so looking forward to some much needed time off.

[jen84]

The past few days have been fairly rough. On Saturday (yesterday) I woke up with minimal anxiety and felt myself until around noonish, then it hit, and hit hard. Anxiety came flooding in. It lifted for about 15 mins around 2pm Today, and have been down with anxiety since then. Maybe im in the window/wave pattern. I am not at all feeling myself, and we had another chat about breaking up last night. It breaks my heart, I just don't know how to get out of my head. Even after acupuncture, i felt calm in my chest and heart rate, but my mind was still racing. After Epsom salt baths, same thing, calm body but racing mind and ruminating thoughts. It's like my body is calm but I'm in such a fog and maybe even dissociation? That's the scary thing, if my body is calm, shouldn't my mind be calm as well? This is when I really start questioning things, because I feel calm but I'm still having bad thoughts. Ugh. 

 

So long as I'm ruminating and having a racing mind, this is still anxiety.

 

We have quite a jam packed holiday planned, and I thought I would be less anxious on holiday, but I don't think that's how this is going to go. Anxiety doesn't seem to take vacation.

[jen84]

Well, the past week has been a bit of a whirlwind, travelling here, travelling there. I am definitely starting to stabilize, my anxiety has levelled out to a constant hum, and the window/wave pattern is becoming less noticeable. In the mornings im no longer waking up frozen in complete fear. I am not feeling very good, but im also not feeling very bad, just blah. 

 

My obsessive thoughts are still there, but definitely improved from where i was a month ago. I'll be seeking out a counsellor who specializes in ACT therapy who can hopefully assist me accepting My thoughts and help me move past them.

 

I've had about one and a half days this month where ive felt absolutely no anxiety and no doubts about my partner and I. This is not long enough for me to fully accept where im at, but it is a flash of goodness for me to hold onto and hope for more of those days. 

 

Overall, im a heck of a lot better than I was 2 weeks ago, and can hopefully start the Brass monkey slide in a few weeks. 

Edited December 30, 2018 by jen84

[jen84]

Happy New Year everyone!

 

We've made it back home after 2 weeks of travelling around to see family and friends. It was nice to get away but it was also very draining. It was a very social trip, I had a tough time being social but I was able to push through. Sometimes, it feels like I'm not really me. It feels like I'm in a fog and I am disconnected with my own thoughts and actions. 

 

When in the throes of wd, I don't know what my real feelings and thoughts are. I don't feel love and my obsessive thoughts are very convincing. Its so hard when all I feel is blah for weeks and weeks on end to know how i truly feel and It's hard for me to communicate in writing what im going through.

 

Yesterday I did have a moment of feeling love for my partner. It was so weird though, I felt the love but i was still having my tight chest anxiety. This makes me wonder if maybe the two aren't connected at all (lack of feeling love and anxiety)? Could it be a mix of anxiety as well as something else? Hopefully it's a sign that im healing.

 

[jen84]

Tomorrow I will be contacting a therapist who specializes in ACT therapy, in not sure if this will help me figure out my thoughts. Does anyone have any experience with this? 

[ChessieCat]

There are many existing topics on the site.  I like to use google and add survivingantidepressants.org to my search term.

 

dr-rob-pursseys-tips-about-acceptance-and-commitment-therapy-act

 

mindfulness-and-acceptance

 

Acceptance

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

[jen84]

I just came across this post, and wanted to place it here, as a reminder to myself that there is a very good chance that what I'm going through with my obsessive thoughts is actually withdrawal. I thought my thoughts was to do with anxiety, but maybe they are completely separate symptoms. Maybe anxiety just heightens the intensity of the bad thoughts. 

 

https://baylissa.com/thoughts/

[jen84]

Yesterday was a bit of a better day. We went skiing for a few hours, then on the drive home listening to the radio, I had a tiny surge of emotion rush through because of a program on the talk radio. This was not as intense of a surge as I have had before but it was still something and actually kind of scared me. I had another surge a few hours later, watching a small video about an old couple who were so in love. Previously, this kind of video would have made me think "ill never have that, I'll never be that happy when I'm that age, I'm not happy, I'm not in the right relationship" and I would spiral into anxiety. But this time it made me feel happy for the couple, it made me feel love and emotion and I almost cried. 

 

Later in the night, just before bed I think I had a window. I say I think I did because i was so tired and ready to fall asleep. We held hands until we both fell asleep and I felt at ease coming into the sleep. What a nice feeling.

 

Ive been using the guided meditations to help fall asleep lately and they help so much. I am starting to explore away from specific sleep videos into the help with overthinking and anxiety videos. I don't know why i havent used these before.

 

I can feel myself improving, every few days I am going through the window/wave pattern, and the windows seem to be getting brighter and better as I go, the waves are still as intense but I am able to look forward to a window.

[wantrelief]

2 hours ago, jen84 said:

I just came across this post, and wanted to place it here, as a reminder to myself that there is a very good chance that what I'm going through with my obsessive thoughts is actually withdrawal. I thought my thoughts was to do with anxiety, but maybe they are completely separate symptoms. Maybe anxiety just heightens the intensity of the bad thoughts. 

 

https://baylissa.com/thoughts/

I have been looking at Baylissa's site quite a bit lately and there are some really helpful things there.  I think the same - that the obsessive thoughts are withdrawal and become worse with anxiety.  I have also found the thoughts can also worsen when I am dealing with PMS (or sometimes it happens during or even after my cycle).  

 

2 hours ago, jen84 said:

I can feel myself improving, every few days I am going through the window/wave pattern, and the windows seem to be getting brighter and better as I go, the waves are still as intense but I am able to look forward to a window

I am so glad you feel yourself improving....that must be such a relief!