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jen84: Effexor withdrawal

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jen84

@FarmGirlWorks, I am so new to spirituality, i have a lot of learning to do. I am entering into an unknown world and feeling a bit overwhelmed with where to start. I'm going to look into kundalini, it's nice to know what works for other people.

 

The ghost points are located all over the body, they are supposed to release emotional trauma. When she did my front side, I cried for the entire 20 minutes, not over anything in particular, but i think bc I'm so hurt inside. I felt quite woozy afterwards, but my brain fog seems to have lifted. I'm not feeling great by any means, but a bit better than I was as far as anxiety goes.

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jen84

Do I dare say it? 

 

Last night I had the calmest sleep (no effed up nightmares) I've had in who knows how long. I did wake from one dream, but felt so calm upon waking. This is definitely not the norm.

 

This morning I still woke with anxiety, but I may have entered into a window. I think i even felt love... Or Maybe just less numb. Ugh, this is so confusing.

 

I have a dr apt this morning to book in with a psychiatrist. 

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jen84

Since Tuesday my anxiety has been almost non-existant and Ive been out of my brain fog. Im still experiencing pretty bad depression and emotional numbness but the anxiety has eased. I don't know if it's bc I finally faced my fears with my partner that my anxiety eased, or if it was going to happen anyway. My therapist told me to try worry time. I save all my worries for a certain time, then let myself worry and worry for 20mins at a certain time every day. Ive been doing that since Tues so that could also be easing my anxiety. It could also be from My last accupuncture appointment.

 

My nightmares have eased up some, and I'm not experiencing as much fear/anxiety when I wake up in the mornings. It's still there, but it's not crippling anymore.

 

It feels like I'm actually starting to stabilize, minus the depression and lack of good emotion.

 

I still don't know what's going to happen between my partner and I, im just glad that were taking it more serious now. Its really hard when I don't feel love or happy emotions. I am so confused and lost and wish there was a flashing sign saying "go" or "stay". But there's not. I just need to make a decision and stick to it. Why is this so difficult?

 

My Dr did recognize that i need to come very slowly off this stuff, so that was good. He also recognized that im suffering from anhedonia. He thought a Prozac bridge was a good option, abd even gave me a script for 5mg Prozac, which I haven't filled yet. I don't plan on bridging Prozac, i just wanted a backup plan in case 1% drops dont work and now I don't have to go back and see him.

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jen84

For 10 days now, I am still riding this window! Well, I call it a window, but im not convinced its a full window. My anxiety is almost non existant! But I'm still experiencing tight chest (high cortisol?), and some depersonalization. My obsessive thoughts are less pronounced, but i still don't feel good emotion. I do feel less blah, but I don't get the love or happiness feeling. Still blunted i suppose. 

 

Im still not sure whats happening with the relationship. Im at my mom's for 3 days now to get some space away, and to hopefully figure out what to do. 

 

I've been taking L-theanine, and i think it helps with the anxiety that's still lingering around. The acupuncture has also helped. I think the biggest thing was finally addressing the relationship and trying to get real answers instead of just obsessing about it and being passive. Not really addressing my concerns.

 

This has been the longest stretch of no anxiety in 4.5 months. I think what happened is there was a lot of pressure put on from myself and my partner to get off this dang drug so we could get pregnant and I was rushing through my tapering. I thought the anxiety was a side effect of the wellbutrin, but I think I was just tapering too fast. I dont really know.

 

Fingers crossed this continues for a bit longer and I can gain clarity on my self and the relationship.

 

 

 

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Carmie

Hi Jen, 

 

I was happy to read that you’ve been in a long window. Windows never mean we are symptom free, it’s just that the symptoms are bearable and we are in “withdrawal normal.” I hope it continues for you too.💚

 

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jen84

Thank you for your kind words Carmie. 

 

Im still riding this window, and I can feel myself improving on a daily basis. I honestly don't remember the last time I felt like this. Almost three weeks now of no anxiety. My obsessing about my partner and our relationship has almost stopped completely, the anxiety in the chest has stopped, my morning cortisol spikes are easing, I'm having normal dreams, im able to genuinely laugh and I feel like myself. 

 

The past 2 days I've started taking omega 3, before this i found it way too stimulating when i was in full anxiety mode, but now that my system has settled I can take it no problem. Im still taking magnesium and  L-theanine as needed.

 

I honestly think a big part of my feeling better has been acupuncture. I have another apt on tuesday and i can't wait!

 

What a relief to be feeling normal again. 

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wantrelief

It is wonderful to read how well you have been feeling, Jen! :)

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Carmie

Hi Jen, 

 

That’s wonderful that you’re still doing so well. How did acupuncture go on Tuesday?💚

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jen84

Thank you so much @wantrelief and @Carmie for your kind words. 

 

I'm still doing ok. Last night i thought my window was ending. My thoughts started racing again and it took a long time to settle for sleep. I was really scared actually that that was it, and i was doomed to another 6 months of anxiety. I woke up this morning and am feeling a bit better, still not where i was a few days ago but a heck of a lot better than where I was a month ago. 

 

Acupuncture went well, my Apts are getting more spread out now, and will soon be only maintenance visits. My acupuncturist has been amazing, and I'm so glad I went. I cant believe the difference from when i first started going a couple months ago to now. Night and day.

 

While I'm trying to enjoy the no anxiety as much as possible, at the same time I'm really scared for if and when it ends. 

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jen84

I received a call yesterday to book my psychiatrist apt... They are booking 6 months from now! I'm glad it's nothing urgent.

 

I've been feeling ok. My anxiety now comes in waves throughout the day. It feels like I'm slowly going back to how I was. I'm trying to keep up with meditation and exercise. My diet has been garbage lately, maybe that has something to do with my feeling off. 

 

I don't know if im going through waves, or if the month long window was bc I finally addressed my partner on how i was actually feeling. I don't know if my returning anxiety is bc we are slipping back into how we were before, or if my body is truly going through waves of withdrawal. 

 

I'm so confused.

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Altostrata

Hi, jen. How are you doing? Compared to 6 months ago, how has your symptom pattern changed?

 

What times of day do you now take your drugs. and their dosages?

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jen84

Hi @Altostrata, thanks for checking in. 

 

I've been doing ok, I think I'm still going through windows and waves, but they're not as intense anymore. Im able to genuinely laugh now and I have days where I even feel love for my partner. Compared to 6 months ago, it's night and day. 

 

I believe the accupuncture has helped immensely with the anxiety. I had an apt three days ago and a few days before seeing her i was starting to feel on edge. The day after acupuncture was rough, but i am feeling better again. Today is the best I've felt in a long time, very close to "normal".

 

I'm still practicing meditation and even went to a Crystal bowl meditation a few nights ago. I've been going to the gym 3 or 4 times a week. I've also been attending counselling. My work is my main source of frustration right now so im looking for new opportunities so i can get out of the toxic work place.

 

I saw a naturopath a few days ago and she wants me to take vitamin D. She also gave me a supplememt to ease my nerves and hopefully calm the cortisol. I've only tried the vitamin D so far. 

 

I'm still taking 5.2mg wellbutrin 2xdaily, at the same time in the morning and evening. I'm also now taking L-theanine twice a day, 50mg magnesium 2xdaily, omega 3 and now the vitamin D once daily in the morning. 

 

I don't plan on tapering for a while now. I'm finally getting some normalcy back and I don't want to mess up all my work.

 

I'm still confused and lost, but less lost than I was before. I'm slowly healing. 

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Altostrata

Good to hear, Jen. You'll get off Wellbutrin yet.

 

I'd be careful about adding any supplements for "nerves."

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jen84

Well, I've accepted a new job and I am so excited! I won't start for a month or a month and a half which is perfect, as we will be moving 7 hours away from where we currently live. It was a rigorous interview process, but i made it through. 

 

Part of me is terrified, questioning whether or not this is a good move, but I'll never know if i dont go. My boyfriend and i are doing this together and it is comforting having him by my side along the way... So comforting!

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